meet with God DECEMBER 2010 Blueprints for a Godly Family

Transcription

1 meet with God DECEMBER 2010 Blueprints for a Godly Family

2 FAMILY week one We all experience some variation of a family, whether it s the one we were born into, adopted into or created through marriage. Maybe it s the one you raised, but now is scattered far and wide. We love our families, but family relationships can be hard work. They can make us happy or sad, crazy or comforted. A family is a special, strange and wonderful organism, designed by the Lord God. He created the first family. And He continues to work in and through individuals and the family members of individuals to accomplish His divine purposes. Sometimes, however, we need a refresher course on what this crazy concoction called family is really all about so we can see the family from God s perspective and so we can better understand our place in it. Let s unroll the blueprints as we walk through this edition of Meet with God. P.S. The icon marks activities useful for group discussion or assignments. By God s Design The family is an organism designed by God for a specific purpose. Learn to see and appreciate His design. What is a family? Ask a teacher, a doctor, your hairdresser; and you ll likely get three different responses. Or stop by your local bookstore where you ll find title after title promising anyone willing to spend $19.95 the secret to a great family. Even the venerable Webster s Dictionary is a little vague on the subject: A group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head... A group of persons of common ancestry The basic unit in society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children. In many cultures, the family unit looks very different from the traditional American view of a father, a mother and 2.5 children. And let s face it; the American family doesn t fit its own traditional view very often anymore! So, defining or describing a page #3 meet with God December

3 4 family can be tricky business. But most descriptions focus on the element of connection or relationship. In her book, What Is a Family?, Edith Schaeffer, wife of theologian Francis Schaeffer, described the family as a mobile like you might see hanging over a baby s crib. In a mobile, every object is connected to every other object as a unit. And while each object moves in its own direction at its own speed, they are all tied together as one. That s a very good picture; it includes both the individual and the individual in relationship with others. It reflects the way God designed the family. He started with an individual person (Adam) and then put him in a relationship first with a wife (Eve) and then with children. Looking around today, we see the family unit in crisis, struggling to survive; and we need more than a definition. We need to understand the purpose of the family. What s a family for? Why did God start with this fragile, tiny unit of society? In Genesis 2:18, God looks at Adam and declares, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him. In verses 21 and 22, God takes a rib from Adam s side and makes a woman and brings her to Adam. It s the very first family and the first purpose: To give man (and woman) connection and relationship. God is Himself both an individual (God) and in relationship (God the Father, God the Son, God the Spirit). Later, Cain and Abel, then Seth and other sons and daughters were born and the family grew to develop a continuity of relationships for the future. But it all started with one man and one woman united together before God. So, what is a family for? What is it meant to provide for us? Let s find out! page #4 meet with God December 2010 renew yourself in God s Word! DAY 1: God s Design Read Genesis 2:18 24 God saw a need in Adam. What was it and how did He provide? What does this tell you about God s purposes for the family? DAY 2: A Family Cares Read 1 Timothy 5:1 8 In his instructions to the church body on caring for others, Paul refers to the responsibilities a family has. List several here. What does he say about those who fail to look after their own family? Not every family demonstrates care and comfort for each other. If that s your experience, spend time with believers who model the kind of care Paul encourages.

4 fun zone for kids or the kid in you God loves to work in and through families. The Bible is filled with family stories and genealogies lists of people and their children and their children s children. How much do you know about your family and what God has done in it? With help from your parents or other family members, create your family tree, using poster paper, colors, stickers, whatever you want. Start with you, your brothers and sisters; then work backwards: mom and dad, grandparents, aunts and uncles, great-grandparents, etc. As you gather information, remember to also ask what God has done in their lives. A Christmas Idea: Ask your parents or other family members for photos of your family now and in the past. Take new photos or scan and copy old photos (don t use the original!); then print and mount them on cardboard, foam-board or in small photo frames. Decorate them; add a ribbon through the top and use your photos as ornaments. Make your Christmas tree into your family tree. DAY 3: Godly Values Read Hebrews 12:1 2 By watching your life, what values are your children picking up? DAY 4: True Education Read Deuteronomy 6:1 9; Proverbs 22:6 What s the basis of true education? How are you preparing them to run in this race? What s the value of teaching your child the way he should go? How can you impart godly values to others this week? How can you show (rather than just tell) your child the right path?

5 DAY 5: Growth Read 2 Timothy 1:5; 3:14 17 God designed a family so it can provide for a child s physical, mental, social and emotional growth through food, shelter, love, relationships and structure. But what else does He want to see cultivated and nurtured (1:5)? WEEKEND: Money Read Deuteronomy 8:11 18; Proverbs 23:4 5 What does money s source tell you about its true nature? If money itself isn t evil, what attitude is? What are some of the things Timothy s mother and grandmother did to promote his spiritual development (3:14 17)? How does Paul commend and encourage Timothy further? What advice does Deuteronomy 8:18 give to help us avoid that attitude? What steps do you take each day to nurture the spiritual growth of your children or grandchildren? the FAMILY of God The Church is often referred to as the family of God. Why? Because the Bible says, You received God s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, Abba, Father. For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God s children. And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God s glory (Romans 8:15-17, nlt). Knowing all believers are part of God s family, how do you see the family of God: Taking care of each other? Modeling values? Offering real education? Encouraging growth? Teaching about money? Be specific about examples you have seen. What can this mean to single-parent families or those with no close family? meet with God December

6 10 A Place To Belong When God designed the family, He created a place to give us connection and a sense of belonging. Look for ways you help develop that in your family. The mobile hanging in the corner was made from thin wire, fine string and about a dozen fish. Each fish was woven from ribbon, but each was unique: a different color, beadwork eyes or sequin eyes, some spun faster, a few floated more slowly. No two were exactly the same. But each belonged to the complete mobile. That s what families are. A diverse group of individuals, each distinct in appearance, personality and preferences, yet connected together into the whole. Think about the differences between your parents, between your siblings, between you and your spouse, your grandchildren and grandparents. Family traits and tendencies are shared, but no two people are exactly the same. The variety is infinite, fascinating and, yes, often frustrating. It s what makes a family so interesting and an invaluable place to learn about belonging. Why belonging? Because with all this diversity, it would be easy to feel disconnected, unloved, unaccepted or too different to matter. Each person in the family needs to feel they belong; they fit; they are connected, wanted, loved and accepted in the whole. There s no template for this, no one-size-fits-all model that we can squeeze our family into. But God offers page #10 meet with God December 2010 week two some insights we can benefit from. In his letter to the Corinthians, Paul writes: What then is Apollos? What is Paul? Servants through whom you believed, as the Lord assigned to each. I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth (1 Corinthians 3:5 7). Paul points to the significant diversity in the Church and the roles or purposes each person has. Paul does one thing; Apollos does something else; and other people do other things; each has a part or role to play but they all are still members of the one Body, the Church. The same is true for the family. It s created to allow for differences in personality and role, but each is part of the whole. If we don t accept and embrace our individual differences, we can potentially destroy one of God s great creations. And to undermine that sense of belonging, that emotional and spiritual connection, has a devastating effect on the individuals within the family. How do you nurture each person in your family? Start by appreciating the distinctives. With your children, learn to see what makes each unique and encourage that. Is one creative? Another more athletic? Don t judge one by the other, but do what you can to cultivate each gift and develop each child s abilities. Work on communication within the family. Our interpersonal relationships and the ability to relate to one another is shaped by the way we relate to Mom and Dad when we re kids, the way we relate to our siblings and the way we saw our parents relate to each other. Finally, use one of God s greatest gifts: prayer. Pray often with your children and with your spouse. Pray for wisdom and opportunities to grow into the person He s designed you to be. As we continue this week, we ll look at a few more ways we build a sense of belonging in our family. page #11

7 renew yourself in God s Word! DAY 1: Two Become One Read Proverbs 18:22; 12:4; 1 Peter 3:7 8 What do these verses say about how you view your spouse? DAY 3: What Is Discipline? Read Ephesians 6:1 4; Proverbs 13:24; 23:13 14 God designed the family to be an orderly organism and a training ground for each generation. That means parents have a responsibility to discipline. What does godly discipline look like? When is it appropriate to discipline a child rather than accepting his or her behavior? What attitudes do you need to work on to accept each other and develop a unity of mind (1 Peter 3:8)? DAY 2: Fidelity Read Genesis 2:23 25; Proverbs 5:1 23 Infidelity undermines our sense of belonging. A husband and wife become one, creating a union that can t be broken without devastating consequences. According to Proverbs 5, what are the dangers of infidelity? Ephesians 6:4 cautions parents against provoking or frustrating a child to anger. Inconsistent discipline or dishing out punishment without reason can be part of that problem. What does it take to discipline for instruction? While Proverbs refers to the rod (physical discipline), how do you keep this form of discipline from going too far? How does tough love (allowing someone to experience the consequences of his or her behavior) fit into this picture? What can you do to avoid the temptation to be unfaithful in your marriage?

8 DAY 4: Why Discipline? Read Hebrews 12:3 11 God sees discipline as part of how we know we belong. Give some of the reasons God disciplines and the benefits that come from it, according to this passage? DAY 5: Bridging the Generations Read Job 1:1 5; Deuteronomy 6:6 9 What does Job do for the next generation? How have you seen that discipline in your own life? What does this discipline accomplish? Who has helped build the spiritual legacy or influence in your family: parents, grandparents, your children, aunts or uncles? How did they do that for you? How could you respond biblically to a person who opposes all forms of discipline? Susannah s Rules Susannah Wesley was a remarkable woman, the wife of a struggling Anglican clergyman in the late 17th century and the mother of 19 children. She was determined to raise her children in godly wisdom and discipline, overseeing every aspect of their education. And it had good effect: her two most famous children were John, an itinerant evangelist and theologian who started the Methodist movement; and Charles, a gifted musician and prolific hymn-writer. Susannah is well-known for these six rules for raising children: 1. Subdue self-will in a child and work together with God to save his soul. 2. Teach him to pray as soon as he can speak. 3. Give him nothing he cries for and only what is good for him if he asks for it politely. 4. To prevent lying, punish no fault which is freely confessed but never allow a rebellious, sinful act to go unnoticed. 5. Commend and reward good behavior. 6. Strictly observe all promises you have made to your child.

9 WEEKEND: Other People s Kids Read Joshua 4:1 7 You may not be a parent, but you may have children in your life to one degree or another. Are you an aunt or an uncle? A teacher or coach? Do you have kids in your neighborhood that you know? What about your friends children? Do you work with children at church? Then you have an opportunity to be a significant influence. Your example, your interest in their lives can be hugely important. What are the memorial stones in your life that you d like to pass along to the children in your life? What are you doing right now to show them the spiritual landmarks they need? A Model Home week three Many of life s lessons are caught more than taught. God designed the family to both teach and to model. What are you modeling? Albert Schweitzer, the famous humanitarian and theologian of the early 20th century, said: Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing. The best way to make a lasting impression in your child s life is through your example, how you model what s important, valuable and godly. You may want to tell your child, Do as I say, but it should really be Do as I do, as well as do as I say. Words are meaningless without action. And one of the greatest things you can teach and model for your child is love. Demonstrating love for your child will look different at different stages of his or her young life. For instance, showing love to an infant comes naturally just watch any grandmother cradling her new grandchild page #17 meet with God December

10 in her arms. On the other hand, when that cuddly infant becomes a two-year-old who s discovered the word no and a little independence, love may take an act of sheer will! And you quickly discover that discipline in love is very necessary. As your child grows, modeling love means time. Taking an interest in their lives, paying attention when they want to talk and showing up for their events teaches your child a lot about your love for them. Keeping your promises becomes absolutely essential; they re learning from you that love requires commitment and faithfulness. Then on that magic day when your sweet-natured child turns into a moody, temperamental teenager, you ll learn that love is a challenge. You model it by your consistency, perseverance, patience, truthfulness and more. That young person is making the transition to becoming the man or woman God designed him or her to be. They need your strong love and support, even when they seem to reject it and turn away. Before you know it, your child will be looking for love in someone to marry and begin his or her own family. And all the lessons they ve learned over the years will become the lessons they pass on to the next generation. Every family is different, and so is every child. But the apostle Paul outlined the model for how people should treat each other when he wrote, Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:4 8). Love is the foundational lesson but there are other important lessons to teach our kids by example. page #18 renew yourself in God s Word! DAY 1: Teaching Love Read 1 John 4:7 9 What is real love? What did God do to show His love for us? Look for examples of God s love in the following verses. Write out the element of His love mentioned and then note a practical way you can encourage a family member to understand that element of God s love. For example, Ephesians 4:11 13 says God has given each of us a gift or ability; help your child see how God has gifted him or her. Love s Example Ps. 139:1 2 Eph. 4:11 13 Eph. 2:10 Ps. 18:6 1 Pet. 5:7 Element of God s Love Practical Encouragement

11 Kids, do your own take on 1 Corinthians 13:4 7. Read and then write out each of the different characteristics of love in this famous passage. Next to each, write or draw a picture of one way you can demonstrate that particular aspect of love. This week pick one of your ideas and put it into action. For instance, you could show patience while teaching a younger sibling or friend to ride a bike or draw a picture. fun zone for kids or the kid in you DAY 3: Teaching Respect Read Ephesians 6:2 4 In some families, teaching respect means a dictatorial attitude, control, fear, no freedom of opinion and even abuse. But God wants our respect to honor and acknowledge the authority of a parent (who s under God s authority) and treat others with honor and dignity. Why? Because we are all made in the image of God. Since God has given some a degree of authority or leadership, respect helps you abide by God s system. What is the parent s responsibility in teaching respect in the family? DAY 2: Teaching Integrity Read Exodus 22:28; Psalm 15:1-5 Integrity means doing what is right, saying what is right and acting on what is right. It includes keeping your promises, being consistent and trustworthy in your responsibilities and faithful in your commitments. Exodus 22:28 applies this to doing what s right in respect to the authorities and leaders even when we disagree with them. What lesson have your kids learned from you about integrity in this regard? Psalm 15:1 5 broadens our picture of integrity. List four characteristics of integrity mentioned in these verses. How would you describe your personal integrity? Note: Ephesians 6:2 quotes Exodus 20:12 where the command to honor your parents comes with a blessing. By the way, this command has no expiration date; honoring your parents is a lifelong assignment! If we fail to instruct our children in justice, religion and liberty, we will be condemning them to a world without virtue, a life in the twilight of civilization, where the great truths have been meet with God December forgotten. ronald reagan

12 DAY 4: Teaching Giving Read Mark 12:41 44 What does this passage say about the way God sees our giving? Day 5: Teaching Perseverance Read 2 Timothy 4:7; Ecclesiastes 7:8 Why is it important to stick with something to the end? What lessons are your kids learning about giving from your example? How can you encourage endurance in your children? Weekend: When Life Begins c hallenge: Christmastime is an excellent time to teach children the importance of giving. Have each of your children pick out a couple toys they no longer use. As a family, take them to a donation center or give them to a family you know could use them. Or as a family, choose a charity and ask each member to contribute as much as he or she can. Another idea: Many organizations offer opportunities for families to purchase Christmas gifts for less fortunate families. With your children, choose one of those opportunities, buy the gift together and donate it. If your children evaluated you on the quality of your teaching, how would you fare? Grade yourself in the report card on the right. Choose one of one area on the report card and ask your child a question like, What do you know about respect and who taught you about it? This can be a good (but challenging) question to ask your middle-school, high school or even college student. Just be prepared to listen to their answer before you respond and be humble enough to accept it graciously! REPORT CARD Teaching Love Teaching Integrity Teaching Respect Teaching Giving Teaching Endurance

13 To Every Generation week four The divine design for the family reaches across every age and stage of life. Look for ways you can embrace each generation. Psalm 37:25 contains a very simple, yet profound, truth that many of us can identify with. I have been young, and now am old. There s hardly a more basic fact of life than that. In fact, with the extended life expectancy rate, the elderly make up an ever-increasing percentage of our population. In many cultures, it s the norm for several generations of one family to live in the same household. They understand it s their responsibility to help care and provide for each other, no matter what age. For the most part in North America, we have moved away from the multigenerational tradition. But that s changing with the tough economic times and older family members living longer. So, we might need a little refresher course on what the Bible has to say about caring for our aging family members. In Proverbs, Solomon tells us, Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old (Proverbs 23:22). Sometimes obeying this instruction will require a lot of patience, time, energy and compassion on your part. But, remember, the command to honor your father and your mother doesn t expire when you become an adult (Exodus 20:12). One of the best things you can do for your aging family members is simply to be there for them. Invest your time and attention in them. Be there to offer assistance when they need it. Be there to cast a discerning eye on those too-good-to-be-true opportunities which prey on our elderly. Be there to give an example to your children of what it means to honor and respect someone. And show your kids how to one day care for you! What if you re the older member of your family? Don t give up on your responsibilities. Go back to that Psalm 37 and continue reading. I have been young, and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging for bread. He is ever lending generously, and his children become a blessing. Turn away from evil and do good; so shall you dwell forever (Psalm 37:25 27). David is telling us to finish strong; to continue telling of God s righteousness and love to the very end; to do good even when it seems the world is forgetting about you. And simply to enjoy the blessings God has given you. Let s take a look at what the Bible has to say about the generations in our families. 24 page #24 meet with God December 2010 page #25

14 renew yourself in God s Word! DAY 1: Responsibility Read 1 Timothy 5:3 8 What does the Bible say about your duty to your aging family members? How would you rate yourself in this area? fun zone for kids or the kid in you Read 1 Timothy 5:1 2 where Paul tells his friend Timothy how to treat older men and women. How can you take Paul s instructions and show respect to older people in your family, your neighborhood and your church? You might be sure to respectfully greet older men and women in your church every week. Maybe mow a neighbor s yard, ask older members of your family where they grew up or how they ve seen God work in their lives. And then listen to their answers show an interest in them. Why does the Bible say to treat older men as your own father or women as your mother? Other than respect, what attitude does this show? Think of an older member of your congregation who would appreciate a note or a card. If you have older members in your family, plan a time to get together with them. Christmas Idea! Plan a time to get with an older friend or relative and make Christmas cookies. Ask them what Christmas was like in their families as they were growing up. DAY 2: Onesiphorus Example Read 2 Timothy 1:15 18 How does the example of Onesiphorus show you how to care for someone else? DAY 3: Teaching for Timothy Read 1 Timothy 5:1 2 What does Paul teach Timothy about caring for the elders in his congregation? How can you apply his example to your own life? What can you do to show love to the elders in your physical and spiritual families?

15 Unfortunately, we live in a society where some people would rather buy their third car or second microwave than improve the quality of their own parents life. woodrow kroll DAY 5: Sage Counsel Read Proverbs 24:3 7 According to Proverbs 11:14, what are the benefits of wise counsel? Wisdom often comes with age; it s shaped by God s hand in your experience of life. What does Proverbs 24:3 7 say about wisdom s place in the home? DAY 4: Peter s Mother-in-Law Read Mark 1:29 34 How does Simon Peter show concern for his mother-in-law? If you re the senior member of your family, how do you offer wisdom effectively? How did she respond to Jesus special care? As a younger member of the family, how do you receive it so you benefit from it? Do you know anyone who needs to be introduced to Jesus? What is the source of this wisdom?

16 WEEKEND: Getting Older Read Psalm 92:12 15 What is the key to bearing fruit even as you get older? What do you want your old age to be like? Now is the time to start, to make the changes in your perspective, your attitudes, your relationships and your spiritual walk that will help you become a fruitful, God-honoring person, no matter what your age. sticking points renew your memory God designed the family as a place to develop relationships with each other and with Him. God designed the family to give us a sense of belonging and to help us understand our place in the world we live in. God designed the family to be the primary teachers of what He values most. God designed the family to look after each other by investing in each other. Meet with God, an official publication of Back to the Bible Woodrow Kroll, President Copyright 2010 The Good News Broadcasting Association, Inc. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Printed in the U.S.A. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. Scripture quotations are taken from the English Standard Version, unless otherwise noted. Copyright 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Editor: Barbara Gerhart Project Staff: Allen Bean, Ben Zuehlke, Barbara Gerhart, Brandy Griffin, Kathy Thorne, Kevin Sheen, Leisa Larson Design: Brandy Griffin Cover and Interior Photos: Back to the Bible P.O. Box Lincoln, NE 68501

17 God IS... Family Devotional Cards $12.50 U.S. $13.75 Canada #12880 Shipping and Handling not included Product cost and availability subject to change. Get to know who God is with our fun and educational devotional cards. Ninety fresh, family-friendly cards with Scripture, teachable moments and discussion questions. Each card focuses on one of God s characteristics. Includes 10 parent cards x 6 cards Call us, visit our online store or use the enclosed bind-in to place an order or to help offset the cost of Meet with God. With a broadcast and Internet reach to millions, Back to the Bible teaches the Word and touches the world. For questions, contact: Back to the Bible P.O. Box 82808, Lincoln, NE back to the bible - Canada P.O. Box 700 Chatham, ON N7M 5K