The question of forgiveness has been a stumbling block to the need for justice.

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1 16 DAYS OF ACTIVISM AGAINST GENDER VIOLENCE 25 th November to 10 th December 2015 MU AUSTRALIA PACK (This material has been sourced from MSH 16 Days of Activism 2015 pack ) Introduction Mothers' Union is pleased to participate in 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence Through our participation, we hope to bring the issue of violence against women and girls before God, to raise awareness within our communities and to advocate for change, especially through measures taken by governments. This pack is designed primarily for Mothers' Union members but can be used by anyone. You may wish to use all of the ideas or simply one or two, for as many or as few days as you wish, and you may have your own ideas for activities. It can be used individually or in a group. Through taking part in 16 Days of Activism, you may become aware of people experiencing or having had experienced gender-based violence; and therefore we would urge sensitivity to this. It may also raise issues for yourself. You may wish to offer support personally or by helping an individual to access professional support services. We would not advise offering counseling unless you have been trained. For further details of Mothers' Union's work on gender-based violence go to The church's response to violence against women and girls We have examined the truth of God s equal respect and love for all made in his image, lived out through the example of Christ and the early church. But the reality is that throughout history and still in recent times the church has not always handled the issue of VAWG well. There are a variety of reasons for this, including: The church has sometimes been slow to accept that this can happen within Christian relationships; and in particular when a church leader is involved. The nature of the issue is such that it is very often hidden behind closed doors; protected by a veneer of respectability which has covered up the truth. The question of forgiveness has been a stumbling block to the need for justice. Within some church traditions a distorted view of the nature of submission within a marriage relationship and gender roles within a relationship led to allegations of abuse not being taken seriously. The Church of England guidelines Responding to domestic abuse (2006) states: It is particularly disturbing that not only has the Church failed at many points to protect the vulnerable and to address the processes that lead to domestic abuse, but 1

2 has also (intentionally or unintentionally) reinforced abuse, failed to challenge abusers and intensified the suffering of survivors. However, there is now a much greater acknowledgement of the prevalence of VAWG both within and outside the church, and recognition of the church s responsibility in dealing with it. "Gender-based violence is one of the greatest injustices in our world today The Church is already supporting and caring for those affected; it must continue in that work and must condemn the notion that such violence is ever acceptable. The Church must be an advocate for restored relationships of mutual respect and love, modelling the reconciling love shown by Christ to all people." Justin Welby, Archbishop of Canterbury Information and resources for use by churches: Violence Against Women and Girls: an overview Violence against women and girls (VAWG) is any act of gender-based violence (GBV) that results in harm, suffering or indignity to women. Violence is 'gender-based' when it is directed against a woman because she is a woman, or when it affects women disproportionately. References to violence throughout this pack include both physical and non-physical forms of violence. What is violence against women and girls? Throughout the world, women and girls are subject to many different forms of violence and abuse because of their gender. They may experience any number of forms throughout or at different points in their life. Controlling and coercive behaviour An abuser: Displays jealousy and possessiveness Pressurises their partner Makes decisions for their partner or penalises 'wrong' decisions Controls and limits what their partner does, who they see, what they wear etc Makes their partner feel they have to change their behaviour Forces their partner to do things they don't want to, e.g. stealing, particular sex acts Disguises control as 'concern' Denies that their behaviour is abusive. Emotional and psychological abuse An abuser: Displays 'Jekyll and Hyde' behaviour 2

3 Mocks, humiliates and undermines their partner Verbally abuses their partner Manipulates and blames their partner Breaks trust, e.g. by having affairs or lying Destroys things that are important to their partner Ignores their partner. Threatening behaviour An abuser: Intimidates and frightens their partner Uses threatening gestures and words towards their partner Threatens a variety of harm e.g. to use physical or sexual violence, take any children away, abuse or hurt family or friends, or to kill their partner or themselves Threatens their partner if they say they are going to leave the home or relationship. Physical An abuser: Punches, hits, slaps, kicks, bites, pushes, shoves, throws, strangles, drowns, burns or pulls their partner's hair Uses weapons and other objects to harm their partner Physically restrains their partner Forces their partner to use alcohol, drugs or other harmful substances Deprives their partner of sleep Attempts to kill their partner. Sexual violence An abuser: Rapes or sexually assaults their partner Initiates sex whilst their partner is asleep or unable to give consent Forces or coerces their partner to engage in/perform sexual acts they don't want to Subjects their partner to degrading treatment Controls their partner's birth control, or insists that they get pregnant or terminate a pregnancy Forces their partner to look at pornography or take part in the production of it Forces their partner to have sexual relationships with other people Forces their partner to prostitute themselves. Isolation An abuser: Prevents or discourages their partner from having contact with family, friends or other social groups; or going to work/college/school Blocks or monitors their partner's phone calls, text messages, s etc Tells other people lies about their partner Gives their partner a curfew or locks them in the house. Financial abuse 3

4 An abuser: 'Borrows' or steals money or possessions from their partner Limits, controls or prevents their partner's access to money, benefits or other payments Builds up debt in their partner's name Blackmails their partner Refuses to pay home/family bills Forces their partner to earn money for them/another person. Indications that a person may be experiencing intimate partner abuse They tell you You witness it They have physical injuries and give excuses to explain them away Their personality changes They display stress, depression or low self-esteem They are regularly absent from work/college/school They stop socialising/become more withdrawn They lack money and have to ask their partner for it They don't want to give out personal details such as their address or phone number. Violence against women and girls: how does our Christian faith guide our understanding? The reasons for campaigning against violence against women and girls are many; any number of individuals and groups will find themselves drawn together to champion such a cause. For us as Mothers Union however, we must have a distinctive voice as we join with others to support this campaign. We find this distinctiveness at the heart of our vision: that of a world where God's love is shown through loving, respectful, and flourishing relationships. God exists in, and created equality of relationship. The relationship of the Trinity powerfully illustrates this; each distinct from but equal to the other; relating together in loving agreement. The equality of human relationships is established at the beginning of creation: God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27 All are created in the likeness of God, whatever our gender; as such all are entitled to be treated as God s precious children, whose image we reflect. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28 4

5 Thus, any culture of violence against one another, whether physical or emotional, is a distortion of relationships as originally intended; equality and respect in the sight of God. Throughout the Old Testament God s attitude to women is positive and pastoral. There are many instances of women in positions of influence and leadership; also provision made for those in positions of vulnerability, as in Deuteronomy 26:12. A woman s choice in marriage is highlighted in Genesis 24:57 and other examples; whilst in Proverbs wisdom is personified as a woman. Where instances of violence against women are recorded they are described as a wrongful action with negative consequences, for example the rape of Tamar by her half brother in 2 Samuel 13 which led to serious family conflict and bloodshed. God s position remains constant. Within Jewish society attitudes began to change towards women through the times of exile and inter-mingling with other cultures. The religious leaders attempted to protect the purity of their race through more restrictive laws, many of which had a negative effect on the lives of women. Thus by the time of Jesus birth Jewish men would pray every morning and thank God that He had not made them a Gentile, a slave or a woman. However, Jesus radically challenged this culture through his actions and teaching. He treated women as completely equal to men calling them Daughters of Abraham, Luke 13:16. The church's response to violence against women and girls We have examined the truth of God s equal respect and love for all made in his image, lived out through the example of Christ and the early church. But the reality is that throughout history and still in recent times the church has not always handled the issue of VAWG well. There are a variety of reasons for this, including: The church has sometimes been slow to accept that this can happen within Christian relationships; and in particular when a church leader is involved. The nature of the issue is such that it is very often hidden behind closed doors; protected by a veneer of respectability which has covered up the truth. The question of forgiveness has been a stumbling block to the need for justice. Within some church traditions a distorted view of the nature of submission within a marriage relationship and gender roles within a relationship led to allegations of abuse not being taken seriously Responding to intimate partner abuse The most appropriate ways to deal with abuse may vary from culture to culture. However, there are some general principles to consider. Abuse is ALWAYS wrong and NEVER acceptable Ultimately, only the person experiencing abuse can decide what course of action to take. 5

6 If you are experiencing abuse: If you feel it is safe to do so, contact the police and/or other appropriate agencies. If you feel it is safe to do so, disclose the violence to a trusted person. You may simply want to alert them to the situation or you may want their help. Seek support from a specialist agency. Make a safety plan to protect and increase the safety of yourself, and any children, either within an abusive relationship or if you decide to leave. Identify a safe place you can go to, store provisions and documents that you will need and try to make any plans untraceable by your abuser. Keep a record of the violence (in a safe place) in case you want to give evidence in the case of any prosecution. If someone discloses that they are experiencing abuse: Do Take time to listen Affirm the strength and courage it takes to talk Express your concern for their safety Reassure them that violence is never justified and is a crime Support them to access professional services Check if it is alright to make contact with them at home Help them think of a safety plan Follow any relevant child protection procedures if you are concerned about the physical or emotional well-being of a child. Don't: Dismiss anyone who comes to you for help Trivialise or dismiss what they tell you Ask what they did to provoke the violence Judge or criticise them Initiate physical contact with them Make decisions for them Expect them to make decisions in a hurry Attempt to offer pastoral care to both the abused and the abuser Policy recommendations Mothers' Union lobbies governments and policy makers at the local, national and international levels. Whilst laws and policies relating to gender equality, discrimination and violence against women and girls vary across the world, there are a number of policy principles that Mothers' Union believes need to be implemented globally. Awareness raising activities There are a number of activities you can carry out to raise awareness of violence against women and girls, through the 16 Days or at any other point during the year. Below are a few suggestions, based on activities that Mothers' Union members have carried out 6

7 Carry out a vigil The concept of a prayer vigil dates back many centuries. "Vigil" indicates a time of vigilance, wakefulness, a watch, originally "kept on the night before a religious feast with prayer or other devotions." 1 If you decide to hold a vigil as part of your activities during 16 Days of Activism, here are some suggestions that may help you plan and hold a successful and thought-provoking event. When and where where will you host your event? How many people can it hold? Will it be free? When will most people be available? How long do you want the event to go on for? Can you use your church and work in partnership? Who - who do you want to invite to the event? How do you want to invite them? If the event is for the general public you could consider promoting it via social media, or placing an advert in a local paper or newsletter. You could consider inviting political representatives from the area, or local decision makers to attend. Content who do you want to speak? You could consider inviting local professionals, clergy, political representatives or others as speakers. What will the format be? Will it be interactive? You could have a petition or declaration available, for those attending to sign, or a prayer tree to enable those who want to attach prayers for those affected by gender-based violence to do so. Other things to consider depending on the type and location of the event, you may need to think about things such as: health and safety; refreshments; equipment such as projectors or flip charts; and registering attendees. It is a good idea to have information available, about where people can access support locally, as there may be individuals who have been affected by gender based violence in attendance. Create a goody pack for a survivor of domestic abuse Many women who experience gender based violence have to flee their homes in order to escape an abusive partner or family member. Often these women and their children flee to a refuge (a form of safe house) with nothing and often without immediate access to money, meaning they often have to go without basics such as toiletries and spare clothes. Why not consider creating goody packs with useful items in for local refuges, so that they can provide them to women in need. Some ideas for items to include are: toiletries (including tooth paste, tooth brushes, soap, shampoo, sanitary items, hair brushes, razors, deodorants etc); new underwear (including bras, pants and tights of all shapes and sizes); spare clothes for children; non-perishable food items; tin openers; bedding; towels and flannels. Luxury items such as make up or fragrances can give some dignity back to those who are fleeing gender based violence; toys and books for children. All toiletries should be new and unopened. Why not present the items nicely in a decorative box or bag to help give some dignity back to those receiving them. It is a good idea to check with your local refuge or support service first as they will be able to tell you which items will be most useful and how to deliver the goody bags (for security reasons the location of refuges are kept secret). 7

8 The following Bible Study & Prayer & Worship are recommended to be used by all Branches Bible study At the heart of our campaigning against violence against women and girls is our love for God, which motivates us to keep his command: to love our neighbour as ourselves. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, Love your neighbour as yourself. Luke 10:27 (NIV) Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and muscle and intelligence and love your neighbour as well as you do yourself. Luke 10:27 (The Message) With such a well known Bible verse the temptation is to use it without stopping to consider its implications, both for ourselves and those whom we accept as our neighbour ; in this case those affected by violence and abuse. So it s worth taking a moment to focus on the verse and the challenge it presents. Reflect for some time on the verse, asking God to highlight words and phrases which will develop your thoughts and understanding. After a while share together in pairs or small groups what has stood out to you personally. You may find that your individual strands of thought combine to bring new insight and motivation. Then consider together the following in the light of the passage and your reflections on it. The Bible tells us to love, not just in word but in deed 1 John 3:18. In what ways do our actions to challenge violence against women and girls show our love for God? The second command exhorts us to love our neighbours as ourselves. Reflect on how or whether we actually do love ourselves and how this is practically lived out. What are the stumbling blocks to loving ourselves? If we find it hard to love ourselves what implications does this have for those we are seeking to support? The victims (and maybe the perpetrators) of violence against women and girls may find it hard to love both God and themselves. Reflect on how or whether they can be helped to do this and how this may benefit them in the long term? We find this command in the context of Jesus being questioned on the way to gain eternal life. As we pray for God s help in all we do to love our neighbour, we give thanks that we are able to show our love for God and his people though our actions; and that these will have eternal as well as earthly significance. 8

9 Prayer and worship These prayers and Bible verses may be used as part of a vigil or act of worship, or as a reflective prayer activity, with silent times of prayer and reflection between each prayer theme. You may wish to light a candle, or have some other symbolic action at the start of each new theme. Equal before God God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good! Genesis 1:27, 31 Creator God, thank you that we are all made in your image and equally loved by you. Open our eyes to behold your face in those of our sisters and brothers. As we draw near to Christ in whom we are united through faith, let us be ready to value each other as beloved children of God. We pray for all to follow Christ s example of treating women with equality and respect. We pray for the dawn of a better world where justice and peace may flourish. Amen Victims and survivors of abuse He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free, and that the time of the Lord s favour has come. Luke 4:18-19 Compassionate God, may those experiencing all forms of violence be given courage, hope and the means to break free from their abuse. We pray for all who live in fear of violence and despair that life will ever change: Bring to an end their suffering; restore their sense of worth. Bring to light deeds of abuse hidden in darkness, that victims may find safety and refuge, free from fear. 9

10 We pray for all to follow your example of treating women with equality and respect. We pray for the dawn of a better world where justice and peace may flourish. Amen Support for victims and survivors Then the king will answer, The truth is, anything you did for any of my people here, you also did for me. Matthew 25:40 Lord Jesus, be with those who work to support survivors of gender-based violence. May they be given abundant resources of money, knowledge and time. We pray for those who administer justice for victims of gender-based violence: May they be led to make decisions with integrity and compassion. We pray for governments and those in authority as they deal with gender-based violence. May they be led to make policy and law with wisdom and discernment. We pray for all to follow your example of treating women with equality and respect. We pray for the dawn of a better world where justice and peace may flourish. Amen Perpetrators of abuse Don t take part in doing those worthless things that are done in the dark. Instead, show how wrong they are. The light will show what these things are really like. Ephesians 5:11, 13 Merciful God, bless those working with perpetrators of gender-based violence. May they be helped to bring about lasting transformation of lives. We pray for those who perpetrate abuse with no sense of guilt or shame. Bring to justice their actions; change their inner hearts. Lord, break the patterns of abuse committed down the generations. Transform attitudes and behaviour in current and future relationships. 10

11 We pray for all to follow your example of treating women with equality and respect. We pray for the dawn of a better world where justice and peace may flourish. Amen Speaking out Remember those in prison as if you were in prison with them. And remember those who are treated badly as if you yourselves were suffering. Hebrews 13:3 Loving Lord, who came to free the oppressed, use us to challenge social injustice with a clear voice in a world where the vulnerable strive to be heard. Stir us with a resolve not to be silent. To speak out against the abuse of power; especially in our homes. To speak up for those who have been pushed down in any way. To speak to the needs of those who are suffering at the hands of another. Restored Church Pack We pray for all to follow your example of treating women with equality and respect. We pray for the dawn of a better world where justice and peace may flourish. Amen Hope for the future The thief comes only in order to steal, kill, and destroy. I have come in order that you might have life life in all its fullness. John 10:10 Lord of life, thank you that many women and girls are free from abuse and violence. Thank you for your healing power which brings hope to survivors. Heavenly Father, continue to move amongst the earth to change attitudes that promote, accept and perpetuate all forms of gender-based violence. May fear be vanquished 11

12 and freedom reign, that all may lead positive lives in safety and peace. We pray for all to follow your example of treating women with equality and respect. We pray for the dawn of a better world where justice and peace may flourish. Amen Final Blessing Let us go into the world with the compassion and courage of Christ. To treat all with dignity and respect as valued children of God. Amen For more information and/or the full text of MSH 16 Days of Activism 2015pack contact Libbie Crossman, Provincial President MU Australia, ppmuaustralia@telstra.com 12

13 Feedback and evaluation form Thank you for taking part in 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence 2015! Mothers' Union would like to hear about your activities, future plans and how helpful you found this activism pack. Mothers' Union Province/Diocese/Branch (if applicable) 1. Overall, how useful did you find the activism pack? (please tick) Very useful Useful Somewhat useful Not very useful Not useful at all 2. Which section did you find the most helpful and why? 3. Were there any sections you didn't use and why? 4. What activities did you (either as an individual or as part of a group) carry out during the 16 Days? 5. What are you going to do as a result of taking part in 16 Days of Activism, during the next year? 6. Any other comments We would be grateful if you would fill in this form and return it to Doreen Hall Social Issues and Action muaustsocresp@westnet.com.au 13