THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2016 Bishop Horace E. Smith, M.D. Presenter SHERATON CHARLOTT HOTEL Charlotte, NC

Transcription

1 MIND, BODY, SPIRIT FITNESS THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2016 Bishop Horace E. Smith, M.D. Presenter SHERATON CHARLOTT HOTEL Charlotte, NC

2 Ministry for the Leaders Nov 17, 2016

3 What is expected of you?

4 I am supposed to move from sick bed to administrative meeting, to planning, to supervising, to counseling, to praying, to trouble shooting, to budgeting, to audio systems, to meditation, to worship presentation, to newsletter, to staff problems, to mission projects, to conflict management, to community leadership, to study, to funerals, to weddings, to preaching.

5 I am supposed to be in charge but not too in charge, administrator, executive, sensitive pastor, skillful counselor, public speaker, spiritual guide, politically savvy, intellectually sophisticated. And I am expected to be superior or at least first rate, in all of them. I am not supposed to be depressed, discouraged, cynical, angry, or hurt. I am supposed to be up-beat, positive, strong, willing, available.

6 Right now I am not fulfilling any of these expectations very well. AND I AM TIRED!! A Pastor

7 An Awesome Responsibility

8 are called to care for the sheep

9 KNOW FEED LEAD PROTECT

10 Understanding The

11 Paul Tripp

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14 13% of active pastors are divorced. 23% have been fired or pressured to resign at least once in their careers. 25% don't know where to turn when they have a family or personal conflict or issue. 25% of pastors' wives see their husband's work schedule as a source of conflict. 33% felt burned out within their first five years of ministry. 33% say that being in ministry is an outright hazard to their family.

15 40% of pastors and 47% of spouses are suffering from burnout, frantic schedules, and/or unrealistic expectations. 45% of pastors' wives say the greatest danger to them and their family is physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual burnout. Though I can find no specific statistics (I'm sure they are out there), the pastorate is seeing a significant rise in the number of female pastors.

16 45% of pastors say that they've experienced depression or burnout to the extent that they needed to take a leave of absence from ministry. 50% feel unable to meet the needs of the job. 52% of pastors say they and their spouses believe that being in pastoral ministry is hazardous to their family's well-being and health.

17 Studies indicate that the worst possible combinations of work conditions are High Performance Demand, combined with little control over the situation. Therefore, by its very nature, Pastoral ministry is a stressful vocation. To be successful and maintain overall health, vitality, and longevity, we must identify and understand the stress that we encounter with the job.

18 Are We who Pastor Who Is Our Pastor?

19 What is Your

20 Ministry for the leader TOXIC? HEALTHY?

21 For the most part, the culture we have created around pastoral ministry is toxic and dangerous. It forces pastors to put on a persona and to isolate themselves from the body of Christ. Tripp asks, does it seem right and healthy that in many churches the functional reality is that no one gets less of the ministry of the body of Christ than the pastor does? Is it possible we have constructed a kind of relationship of the pastor to his congregation that cannot work?

22 7 REASONS FOR PASTORAL BURNOUT THOM RAINER

23 The 24/7 mentality. Many pastors can t turn off work in their mind. Even on their days off, they are waiting for that next telephone call or next crisis. Thus, they never relax. Conflict. I often heard it said that conflict is not the problem; it s how we handle conflict. That s true to a point. But if church conflict and criticisms are ongoing, pastors wear down. They eventually burn out. Expectations. All pastors would be problem-free if they were omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent. Of course, no pastor can meet all the expectations of church members. But many try. And they burn out as a result.

24 Unwillingness to let go. Several years ago I was with a pastor who was frantically trying to sort the mail that had just arrived. He was hurrying to go to his next meeting. I asked him why he didn t let someone else take care of some of things he was trying to do. His blank stare was his answer. He quit ministry three months later and never returned. No friends. Many pastors fail to develop meaningful friendships, people with whom they can let their hair down. Without such outlets, burnout is more likely.

25 Not suited for some tasks. This issue is similar to trying to meet everyone s expectations. First, such attempts are physically impossible. Second, pastors are not equipped to do everything well. But many try and many fail. No life outside the church. I am amazed at the number of pastors who have no meaningful hobbies or recreational activities outside the church. I am less amazed when those pastors burn out and drop out.

26 for those who shepherd

27 SUPPORT SYSTEM ACCOUNTABILITY SYSTEM PROTECTION SYSTEM

28 Underlying Stumbling Blocks to Getting Support Cultural Gender: sexual Metaphors for ministry Lack of self-esteem/self knowledge Bishop Horace E. Smith, M.D., Presenter Apostolic Faith Church Ministries

29 OVERCOMING THE DARK SIDE OF LEADERSHIP The Paradox of Personal Dysfunction Gary L. McIntosh & Samuel D. Rima, Sr.

30 The DARK SIDE The dark side is a natural result of human development. It is the inner urges, compulsions, and dysfunctions of our personality that often go unexamined or remain unknown, until some significant problem or encounter reveals and exposes it.

31 Know Thyself (the truth about yourself)

32 Johari Window Model known to self not known to self known to others OPEN BLIND not known to others HIDDEN UNKNOWN

33 Self Image Concept An adequate self-concept is a precious possession...an inadequate one is a hardship. (If we don t like the kind of person we are, we think no one else likes us either.)

34 How do we create and identify support for pastors and couples in pastoral ministry? Bishop Horace E. Smith, M.D., Presenter Apostolic Faith Church Ministries

35 And so to combat this toxic culture and to find a healthier way Tripp gives eight suggestions for churches to bring their pastors under the ministry of the body of Christ and see them live spiritually healthier lives.

36 Require your pastor to attend a small group he doesn t lead Pastor, seek out a spiritually mature person to mentor you at all times Establish a pastors wives small group Pastor, be committed to appropriate self-disclosure in your preaching Be sure that your pastor and his family are regularly invited into the homes of families in your church Make sure there is someone who is regularly mentoring your pastor s wife

37 7 8 Make sure your pastor and his wife have the means to be regularly out of the house and away for the weekends with one another Make sure counseling help is always available to the pastor, his wife, and their family.

38 Together churches and their pastors need to work together to break down the toxic culture that allows for pastors to be isolated from the ministry of the church. Churches need pastors who are first applying the gospel to their own heart and are practicing confession, forgiveness and community.