Rejection. Healing a Wounded Heart. By June Hunt

Transcription

1 Rejection Rejection Healing a Wounded Heart By June Hunt The most penetrating wound in life is rejection from a loved one. Yet, nothing is more healing than to know our Lord accepts us. When your pain seems endless and tender to the touch, He will hold you with His heart of love until there is total healing. Ps 34:18 June Hunt A. What Is Rejection? DEFINITIONS One Greek verb translated as reject is apodokimazo, which means to reject as the result of examination and disapproval. 1 The English noun reject, derived from that verb, refers to a person or thing not wanted, approved or accepted. 2 Jesus felt the pain of rejection. He was the cornerstone the builders rejected. Matt 21:42 Another Greek word translated as reject is atheteo, which means to do away with, set aside, to cast or throw away as useless or unsatisfactory. 3 Jesus said to the Pharisees and teachers of the law, Mark 7:9 B. God s Heart on Rejection Those who reject Christ s followers are, in fact, rejecting Christ. Luke 10:16 Those who refuse to be refined by God will be rejected by the Refiner. Jer 6:30 (Read also Jermiah:6:26-30.)

2 Those who reject the truth of God will receive the wrath of God. Rom 2:8 CHARACTERISTICS OR INDICATIONS THAT ONE IS FEELING REJECTED 4 A. Inner Symptoms Ambivalence difficulty making decisions Bitterness toward God and/or the one who rejected you Emotional withdrawal unwilling to be vulnerable again Fear of being rejected again Guilt at being involved in the relationship at all Inability to accept love feeling unworthy of love Inability to trust becoming skeptical of the motives Subjectivity making decisions based on feelings instead of facts Can a true believer be forsaken by God? No. A true believer can sin, but will never be forsaken. When you find yourself fearful of being forsaken, claim the following truth from the Word of God. Ps 9:10 B. Outer Evidence Rebellion against authority Exaggeration to impress others Jealousy of suggestions and successes of others Excessiveness in work and activities performance-based acceptance Critical spirit rejection of others Trying too hard people pleaser Experimentation with drugs and sex to numb the pain Defensiveness for self-protection What can I do when I feel everyone has rejected me? When you find yourself reeling from rejection, pray to your Redeemer. Ps 66:20 CAUSES OF REJECTION

3 A. The ABC s of Overt Causes 5 Abandonment... by parents Battery/incest... wife abuse, child abuse Cast away... to camp, boarding school, relatives Divorce... rejection felt by spouse and children Excessive punishment... parental harshness Favoritism... one child over another Greed... credit for your work being given to or taken by someone else Hostility... fighting, name-calling Ignoring... silent treatment Jilted by someone... in courtship, friendship, marriage B. The Ten C s of Covert Causes 6 Caustic humor sarcasm Cessation of life of a pet especially for a child Changing promises lack of commitment Communication emotionally closed rejection of feelings Complimenting the performance instead of the person Comparing siblings, coworkers measured by performance of another Conditional acceptance acceptance based on performance Controlling overprotection Critical illness death of primary person Criticism repeated faultfinding C. Root Cause Wrong Belief: When I m rejected, I feel worthless. My worth depends on what others think about me and whether they accept me. Right Belief: When I am rejected, I don t like it. Yet, my worth is based not on what others think about me, but on the fact that the Lord accepts me. Jesus not only loved me enough to die for my sins, but He also lives in me to change me from the inside out. Luke 12:6-7 What if I can t get over the rejections in my past?

4 Say to the Lord, Thank You, Lord Jesus, that I am deeply loved by You. 1 John 3:16 Thank You, Lord Jesus, that I am totally accepted by You. Rom 15:7 Thank You, Lord Jesus, that I am completely forgiven by You. 1 John 1:9 A. Key Verse to Memorize Deut 31:8 STEPS TO SOLUTION B. Key Passage to Read and Reread Rom 8:28-39 C. Know the Rejection Cycle 7 Rejection Reproduces Rejection Progression Involves Four Stages. Scriptures to Break the Cycle Rejection Ps 27:10 (Rejection brings on feelings of worthlessness.) Worthlessness John 3:16 (Feeling worthless brings on self-hate.) Self-hate Rom 8:1 (Self-hate incites negative behavior to alleviate the pain.) Negative behavior Gal 5:25 (Negative behavior reproduces more rejection.) Break the Cycle of Rejection

5 Memorize and meditate on these Scriptures. Rejection Ps 27:10 Ps 66:20 Worthlessness John 3:16 1 John 3:16 Self-hate Jer 31:3 Rom 8:1 Negative behavior Gal 5:19-25 Gal 6:7 D. You Are Accepted Even When You Feel Rejected Admit the rejection of the past and its pain. Lam 3:19-23 Claim God s acceptance and unconditional love. Isa 54:10 Choose to forgive those who rejected you. Col 3:13 Expect future rejection as natural in a fallen world. 1 Peter 1:6-7 Plant Scripture in your mind to produce new thought patterns. Rom 12:2 Thank God for what you ve learned through the rejection. It brings you closer to Him. Ps 119:71 Encourage others. This builds a sense of your own worth.

6 Gal 6:9-10 Draw on the power of Christ s life within you. The Lord Jesus Christ is your source of security whenever you are faced with insecurity. Gal 2:20 Do you feel ravaged, even ruined by rejection? Remember, feelings are a false measure of truth. If you live by your feelings you re letting the tail wag the dog. Live by the fact that you are accepted by the Lord by Christ who is in you, who will never leave nor forsake you. June Hunt REJECTION REPRODUCES REJECTION Gal 6:7 Rejection Ps 27:10 Rejection brings on feelings of worthlessness. Worthlessness John 3:16 1 John 3:16 Feeling worthless brings on self-hate. Self-Hate Jer 31:3 Self-hate invites negative behavior in order to alleviate pain. Negative Behavior Gal 5:22-25 Negative behavior reproduces more rejection. NOTES 1. James Strong, Strong s Greek Lexicon (electronic edition; Online Bible Millennium Edition v. 1.13) (Timnathserah Inc., July 6, 2002). 2. Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary (2001);

7 3. Strong, Strong s Greek Lexicon. 4. For this section see Robert S. McGee, The Search for Significance, 2nd ed. (Houston, TX: Rapha, 1990), 63-64, Charles Solomon, The Ins and Out of Rejection (Littleton, CO: Heritage House, 1976), Solomon, The Ins and Out of Rejection, 18-25, 40-42; Charles Solomon, The Rejection Syndrome (Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House, 1982), For this section see Marshall Bryant Hodge, Your Fear of Love (Garden City, NY: Doubleday, 1967), 26. SELECTED BIBLIOGRAPHY Hodge, Marshall Bryant. Your Fear of Love. Garden City, NY: Doubleday, Hunt, June. Healing the Hurting Heart: Answers to Real Letters from Real People. Dallas: Hope For The Heart, Hunt, June. Seeing Yourself Through God s Eyes. Dallas: Hope For The Heart, McGee, Robert S. The Search for Significance. 2nd ed. Houston, TX: Rapha, Solomon, Charles. The Ins and Out of Rejection. Littleton, CO: Heritage House, Solomon, Charles. The Rejection Syndrome. Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House, Taylor, Barbara. From Rejection to Acceptance. Nashville: Broadman, Wright, H. Norman. Real Solutions for Overcoming Discouragement, Rejection, and the Blues. Ann Arbor, MI: Vine, (from Hope For The Heart Biblical Counseling Keys 2005 by Hope For The Heart. All rights reserved.)