The Good Life: A series through the Sermon on the Mount!

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1 The Good Life: A series through the Sermon on the Mount How Being in Christ Affects our Emotional Health Matthew 22:35-38 (ESV) And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law? And he said to him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. Intro: Have you ever felt like you were doing all the right things spiritually, but something was missing? Do you have what appears to be a good marriage, yet still go through the day unsatisfied or alone? Have you ever felt like if the people who know and love you really knew what you thought or how you felt, they would never want to speak to you again? You may be emotionally unhealthy. Love the Lord with all your heart The term mind (nous) has to do with the capacity to understand and reason it includes the notion of accompanying emotion and thereby overlaps with the meaning of heart (kardia). 1 So, I m going to use heart because that s what we re familiar with, but know that heart is not only feelings. Heart refers to the whole inner life, including emotions. 2 Emotional health = letting God s truth bear on our heart. Emotions are a part of the heart God gave us Researchers have classified [emotions] into eight main families: anger sadness fear enjoyment love surprise disgust shame Not that all my emotions are right/good. But they re true. Biblical examples of emotions in the Bible AP John 12:27 (NIV) Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say? Father, save me from this hour? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Matthew 8:10 (ESV) When Jesus heard this, he marveled and said to those who followed him, Truly, I tell you, with no one in Israel have I found such faith. Mark 3:5 (ESV) And he looked around at them with anger, grieved at their hardness of heart, and said to the man, Stretch out your hand. He stretched it out, and his hand was restored. John 11:33 (ESV) When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. Mark 9:36 (NASB) Seeing the people, He felt compassion for them, because they were distressed and dispirited like sheep without a shepherd. John 11:35 (ESV) Jesus wept. Luke 10:21 (ESV) In that same hour he rejoiced in the Holy Spirit and said, I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will. (An entire theological book on Jesus humor was written by Elton Trueblood) 3 1 of 6

2 2 Corinthians 2:4 (ESV) For I wrote to you out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you. 2 Corinthians 7:4 (ESV) In all our affliction, I am overflowing with joy. 2 Corinthians 7:13 (ESV) And besides our own comfort, we rejoiced still more at the joy of Titus, because his spirit has been refreshed by you all. Acts 15:39 (ESV) And there arose a sharp disagreement, so that they separated from each other. 1 Peter 1:8 (ESV) Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory Viewing this verse by apostle Peter, the great 18th century theologian, Jonathan Edwards, who referred to emotions as affections those vigorous lively actings of the will 4 was convinced that they are so interwoven into the person God made us, that you cannot divorce them from your relationship with God. He wrote that religion which God requires, and will accept, does not consist in weak, dull, and lifeless wishes, raising us but a little above a state of indifference. God in his word, greatly insists upon it, that we be in good earnest, fervent in spirit, and our hearts vigorously engaged in religion. 5 (Spirituality & emotions can t be divorced) Proverbs 4:23 (ESV) Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. Unfortunately, we leave emotions out of our spiritual growth - We mistakenly think that following Jesus is a matter of the intellect we divorce spirituality from emotions. - We think we re fine perhaps we re young, and never experienced trauma. Yet we re affected and unaware. - We might think we are keeping our emotional side to ourselves, yet so much in our hearts, even the things we are unaware of, will always affect other people eventually. So we re not only bottled-up emotionally, but some of us have relationships that are awry. - At the least, we think we must replace bad emotions with good emotions. (i.e., I am sad, and I need joy ) Peter Scazzero (Emotionally Healthy Spirituality) When we do not process before God the very feelings that make us human, such as fear or sadness or anger, we leak. Our churches are filled with leaking Christians who have not treated their emotions as a discipleship issue. Grieving is not possible without paying attention to our anger and sadness. Most people who fill churches are nice and respectable. Few explode in anger at least in public. The majority, like me, stuff these difficult feelings, trusting that God will honor our noble efforts. The result is that we leak through in soft ways such as passive-aggressive behavior (e.g., showing up late), sarcastic remarks, a nasty tone of voice, and the giving of the silent treatment. 6 This is a lot of what Jesus seems to expose in the second movement of his Sermon on the Mount, when he talks about conflict, marriage and divorce, hatred, retaliation, etc. We leak out onto others what has first marinated in the heart or mind. So it s not enough to not murder since your heart already has. You: Naw, I m healthy What an emotionally unhealthy person looks like I. We suppress our emotions 7 A. Lack of self-awareness Not knowing who you are Not being aware of feelings you have 8 AP Not knowing why you feel the way you do B. Inability to grieve You suck it up, and move on. Or you pretend to have it all together. Or you act victorious super spiritual. (even though we re actually hurting rather deeply) C. Ignoring the past There are things in your past that happened to you or around you some of them may be bad, some may be good, or neither. But they all shaped who you are today, and you may not even be aware of it. 2 of 6

3 D. Avoiding conflict When you have a disagreement with someone, or are hurt by someone, you do not talk directly to the person in a loving way perhaps out of fear. So you ignore it, or suppress your feelings, and try to move on. But you never can. Suppressing is unhealthy, because when you ignore your emotions, past wounds, or what s inside, there is a layer of self that external practices (Bible reading, prayer, disciplines, church attendance) are unable to get through for transformation on the deepest levels. This ends up leaving you disappointed, disillusioned, and burnt-out, because no matter how hard you try to be better Christians there doesn t seem to be any change or breakthrough. II. We enthrone our emotions AP A. We let them control us 1. Follow your heart 2. Speaking without a filter 3. Being victimized by your emotions 4. You re a roller coaster ups and downs based on circumstances 5. Always trying to have it together Enthroning is unhealthy because God did not create your emotional layer to rule your life. Feelings are great servants, but horrible masters. Furthermore, our emotions, though given to us by God, are still tainted with sin. An emotionally unhealthy person is disconnected in deep inner areas of their life. Formal vs. Functional 9 We know that the Bible says we are accepted by God (formal) But we act out of tremendous insecurity (functional) - because the thing you believe with your head has not gone past the walls you put up AVOIDING CONFLICT A couple, married for 15 years. THE GOOD PICTURE Everything looks good on the outside. There have been no crises. He pays bills, roof over head, food on table, no porn, church every Sunday. She has a small business, has kids, good grades, dinner on table. THE PAIN UNDERNEATH She goes to bed every night feeling completely alone. Does every woman feel this way? What more can I ask him? We even just got back from vacation. He feels like he s never giving enough. He s under-appreciated. Not enough to leave no affair. He shrugs: Well, this is marriage. But maybe it will help to draw out some examples of emotionally unhealthy look like - When a councilor asks them, When was the last time you looked into each other s eyes for more than 15 seconds? They blush. They don t even know each other. No emotional connection. She doesn t know what s going on in his head. He doesn t know how she feels. They are coexisting. THE DISCONNECT He feels under-appreciated. She is unfulfilled. But neither of them is wanting to cause a stink (avoiding conflict) They look great on the outside. But they are emotionally unhealthy. 3 of 6

4 SELF-AWARENESS Freshman college student, good family. THE GOOD PICTURE Jimmy came from 2-parent home. Well to do. Parents paying for Westmont. Good grades. Good life. He wants to get on the worship team. Told to hang out for a year THE PAIN UNDERNEATH He feels rejected. Thinks they don t want to use my gifts. Operating from insecurity. THE DISCONNECT Unaware: youngest kid, everything was done for him. He needs to stand out. (self-awareness) (While oldest sibling had all the responsibility I will never go back, I will be independent Really, he s so shut down, he s afraid of being left again) Girl needs attention from every guy in the room dad was there, but not emotionally present. Dad: Is that what you re gonna wear? (makes her feel small) MY TESTIMONY ~ We ve trained ourselves to think of emotions as an inconvenient attachment to our spirituality But our feelings are the heart s siren, telling us that we need to pay attention to something. If you don t, you ll quickly find yourself acting in a way that your heart does not agree. All these examples have this in common: their heart isn t matching their actions. Dallas Willard called this: soul disintegration Matthew 15:8 (ESV) This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me To love God with all your mind/heart entails, not suppressing or enthroning, but listening and allowing Christ to reveal himself to you (2 Cor 10:5) A way forward in Christ First, we need new hearts/minds that can respond to God s love Ephesians 3:14-19 (ESV) For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. This is called UNION WITH CHRIST. It s an incredible interaction, where God moves into our emotional health. And he will mature you if you let him. Dan B Allender; Tremper Longman (The Cry of the Soul: How Our Emotions Reveal Our Deepest Questions About God) The reason we don't want to feel is that feeling exposes the tragedy of our world and the darkness of our hearts The route to facing what we feel is not by devaluing the darkness of what we feel, but by valuing the deep structure of why we don't want to feel. Once we face why feeling is so hard, then we can move beyond what we feel to the deeper energy within us that keeps us from 4 of 6

5 grappling honestly with our emotions. Then we will not only feel more deeply, but more importantly we will feel our feelings in a way that exposes our struggle with God. Where to start 1. Let yourselves feel (self-awareness) B. What did this sermon mean to you? C. If you think it was dumb Rivers of living water. Do you have this? 2. Pray and ask D. Ask God, 1. What does my heart look like? Psalm 26:2 Prove me, O Lord, and try me test my heart and my mind. 2. Why/where did these habits, behaviors, or feelings come from? 3. What am I afraid of? 3. Let him speak to you in that place of deep feeling. But DON T let the music numb your feelings. You want healing? You want change? You're gonna have to put some skin in the game. You re gonna have to go to those places. You see this in David s prayer: Psalm 139:1-2 (David is aware of his hurtful thoughts/feelings and gets real ~ self-awareness) O Lord, you have searched me and known me You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. Psalm 139:17 (But David eventually moves to God s thoughts ~ gospel) How precious to me are your thoughts, O God John Calvin (Institutes) Without knowledge of self there is no knowledge of God no one can look upon himself without immediately turning his thoughts to the contemplation of God, in whom he lives and moves. 10 Psalm 139:23-24 (David invites confession) Search me, O God, and know my heart Try me and know my thoughts And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting Finish: after dealing with self, past, grief, I was able to give the deepest parts of me to the Lord, not just the shallow end. I will be doing this for the rest of my life. I coupled this with a steady diet of spiritual disciplines, and reordered my life around the presence of God (We ll learn how to do this thru the weeks). I have never been more healthy than I am right now. I m not as healthy or mature as I d like to be. But I m better than I was. It came with a fight. You CAN live a life of freedom in Christ. It is not beyond where you are. There is hope. 5 of 6

6 The hope of the Gospel is that we do not need to be enslaved to our past, our emotions, or our flaws. Those things may explain you, but they do not need to define you. Works Cited 1 Colossians 3:3-4 (ESV) For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Clinton Arnold. Ephesians Peter 1:3 His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence. 2 Here are some examples of "heart" being used to denote feeling: Luke 24:32 They said to each other, Did not our hearts burn within us while he talked to us on the road, while he opened to us the Scriptures? John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. John 16:22 So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you. Acts 2:26 Therefore my heart was glad, and my tongue rejoiced; my flesh also will dwell in hope. Acts 2:37 Now when they heard this they were cut to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, Brothers, what shall we do? Acts 21:13 Then Paul answered, What are you doing, weeping and breaking my heart? For I am ready not only to be imprisoned but even to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus. 3 Peter Scazzero. Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: Unleash a Revolution in Your Life in Christ. (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 2006) p Jonathan Edwards. A Treatise Concerning Religious Affections. Works. Vol 1. p.237. Ibid. Peter Scazzero. Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. p I owe Dr. Richard Blackmon for this paradigm Peter Scazzero. Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. p I'm indebted to Chelsey Wang for this. John Calvin. Institutes of the Christian Religion. Book one, Chapter 1. Edited by John T. Mcneill. p.35 6 of 6