Twelve Characteristics of Healthy Relationships

Transcription

1 Twelve Characteristics of Healthy Relationships God cared enough about relationships to create us so he could have one with us. He cared enough about redeeming that broken relationship that he sent his Son in the form of a man personally to interact with us, commune with us, and communicate with us. First John 4:20 says, Anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. That is heavy stuff because relationships are not easy. In fact, they are the most difficult thing we have to do. Oswald Chambers said, Our human relations are the actual conditions in which the ideal life of God is to be exhibited. It is God s plan that we have healthy relationships. Healthy relationships prove, as John said, that our love for God is true. But, what is a healthy relationship? 1. A healthy relationship is one that values self and the other person. Philippians 2:4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. 2. A healthy relationship has honesty. Colossians 3:9 Do not lie to each other. Ephesians 4:25 Each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully. Proverbs 27:5-6 Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.

2 Proverbs 28:23 He who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor than he who has a flattering tongue. Matthew 18:15 If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 3. A healthy relationship has boundaries. Joshua 24:15 Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve. Romans 14:12 Each of us will give an account of himself to God. 4. A healthy relationship has good will and mutual caring. Colossians 3:12 Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.

3 5. A healthy relationship has forgiveness. Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. 6. A healthy relationship has sacrifice. Hebrews 13:16 And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased. 7. A healthy relationship has freedom. Romans 14:1, 5 Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. Galatians 5:1 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.

4 8. A healthy relationship has acceptance. Romans 15:7 Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you. 9. A healthy relationship has trust. 1 Corinthians 13:7 Love always trusts. 1 Corinthians 4:2 Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful. 10. A healthy relationship has flexibility. Ephesians 5:21 Submit to one another.

5 11. A healthy relationship deals with conflict. Proverbs 18:13 He who answers before listening--that is his folly and his shame. Isaiah 1:18 Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. 12. A healthy relationship has two people with the ability to self-regulate. 1 Peter 1:13 Prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled. Titus 2:11-12 For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say No to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives. All Scriptures are taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION, NIV Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

6 Application Questions Answer the following questions about yourself: 1. Do you value your needs or the other person s needs more in your relationship or are you fairly balanced? Give examples. 2. Are you honest in your relationships or do you lie, deny, or withhold the truth? Are you willing to confront or do you fear confrontation? When you do confront, can you do it humbly and gently? 3. Do you have boundaries in your relationships? Do you respect the boundaries of others? 4. Do you value the relationships you have? Can you demonstrate compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience? Which one is most difficult? 5. Do you easily hold resentments? Are you working toward forgiveness in relationships where you have been hurt? Can you overlook small slights or are you overly sensitive? How are resentments hurting your relationships? 6. Are you willing to sacrifice in your relationships? How? Do you sacrifice too much or too little? Which sacrifices are the most difficult?

7 7. Do you allow others freedom or are you controlling? Do you accept the circumstances of your relationships or do you try to ignore reality? 8. Are you willing to accept others as they are or do you find yourself being critical and attempting to change them? 9. Are you trustworthy? If you have been untrustworthy, are you willing to restore trust slowly, allowing the other person time to heal? 10. Are you flexible or rigid in your ideas, roles, demands, and expectations? What inflexibility is causing you difficulty in your current relationships? 11. How do you handle conflict? Do you view it as an opportunity to further understand the other person and improve intimacy or as a threat to you? Are you generally more defensive and attacking during conflict or passive and withholding? How does this style hurt your relationships? 12. Can you regulate yourself or are you reactive in your relationships? What areas do you lack self-control in? How does this hurt your relationships?