Ossie and Teds. Into the Desert. A Study Leave Special from Rev Trudie

Transcription

1 Ossie and Teds Into the Desert A Study Leave Special from Rev Trudie

2 Dear Friends The focus for this edi.on of Ossie and Teds is a spiritual journey. When I arrived in these parishes two years ago the journey of my research work into Co- cura.ng the Eucharist with Children had been underway for two years. Four years on, and the literature and field work research is done. The analysis is largely complete. Many chapters are wrifen. But at the moment my wri.ng is like a string of mis- matched pearls or an ill- formed daisy chain. I have lots of shiny beads or beau.ful moon daisies of informa.on but nothing hangs together well. Now I have to find the key argument that will form the basis of my thesis. It s a bit like the parable of the Pearl of Great Price. Once the pearl is found the merchant sells everything he has in order to buy the pearl. Or it is like finding, unexpectedly, flowers in the desert. Once I find my flower from all the data I have gathered then I can create a beau.ful daisy chain. My Study Leave of three months is a journey into the desert to find my flower. My Study Leave journey into the desert has two parts, interwoven with work on my thesis. First, a 10 day review of my work so far. Then, a 780 kilometre pilgrimage walk called the Camino Frances. Next, will be a wri.ng week. Then my second pilgrimage: my annual visit to the Taizé Community in France before returning for three weeks of wri.ng. By the end I may have a daisy chain!

3 A THEOLOGICAL ENQUIRY INTO MY PRACTICE OF CO CURATING THE EUCHARIST WITH CHILDREN it felt like you were part of a puzzle almost of a church, you know like a puzzle of a thing that s going to happen TRUDIE ELIZABETH MORRIS A thesis in parual fulfilment of the requirements of Anglia Ruskin University for the degree of Professional Doctorate in PracUcal Theology This is the front cover of my thesis. The.tle is s.ll a working.tle and there is no submission date but it s a start! What follows is a reflec.on on where I am as I enter the desert of my Study Leave looking for the one flower to join the circle. What I am I excited about the data I have gathered? I am excited about many things evident in the raw data. I did not set out to test a hypothesis that co- cura.ng the Eucharist with children was a good thing. I knew it to be a good thing for me as a leader of worship but also that it made every sort of sense to me. It made sense by speaking to the child in me. The child I remembered who first encountered God in a church beau.fully and crea.vely lit to symbolise the presence of God. I have never forgofen the power of good cura.on to draw the visitor, the onlooker in. It made sense to me so many years later as a celebrant of the Eucharist. When children are present in the Eucharist, my presiding feels complete. My ordina.on as priest gave me a commission to preside at the Eucharist on behalf of the people. The Eucharist has always been central to my tradi.on but my priesthood has brought home to me, not the separa.on of clergy and laity, but the true meaning of what it is to be Church. The Eucharist, more than any other act of worship is a sign of the Kingdom but it is only fully expressed when all are welcome to gather at the table and receive. The Eucharist is there for everyone, but especially children because of Jesus s teaching about children as a sign of the Kingdom of heaven.

4 It made even more sense to me, when by accident and not design, I experienced the curatorial of the Eucharist with children. Once with Amelia, a nine year old, and the only child in a congrega.on of largely elderly people. In impulsively invi.ng her to join me at the altar for the Prepara.on of the Table and the Eucharis.c Prayer I did not expect the experience that I did. Amelia s presence and her mirroring of my liturgical ac.ons became a con- celebra.on of the Eucharist. Her presence leant power and credibility to my presidency. Then with Kyloe, a shy and reserved lifle boy of three. It was another church, and a different congrega.on and used to the presence of children as there was a thriving Junior Church that re- joined the main church for the Eucharis.c Prayer and Holy Communion. On this day it was Kyloe s bap.sm so the congrega.on was swollen by his family, most of whom were new to church. Kyloe had been very prepared by his Mum who had even asked for the hymns beforehand so they would be familiar with them. A]er the distribu.on of Holy Communion, at the first notes of the final hymn, Kyloe suddenly leapt off his Mum s knee and began to dance in front of me, in front of the people. It wasn t a performance as Kyloe seemed totally unaware of us. He was completely caught up in his dance of joy. The hymn was called: The Spirit lives to set us free. It seemed unnecessary, even intrusive, for me to give the Blessing that followed. A]erwards some of his family spoke to me of seeing God in Kyloe, of being blessed by Kyloe. They were not believers but through Kyloe s dance their faith journey began. Se_ng out to formally research the impact of co- cura.ng the Eucharist with children seemed a natural step yet my experiences were of a kind of spontaneous co- cura.on, unplanned. They were gi]s. I had formed no hypothesis that my experiences would be shared by others. What I wanted to discover in this research was whether co- cura.ng the Eucharist could be a natural part of the liturgical prac.ce of a worshipping community? Would what was theologically right and proper to me be so for others? This led me to the next ques.on, who were the others to help answer these ques.ons? The obvious people to be involved were members of my own congrega.ons. Yet the nega.vity I experienced following the co- cura.on with Amelia haunted me. In that church people had not seen what I saw, felt what I felt. But the child had been delighted to par.cipate. It was crucial for this research then that children were not only invited to co- curate, but they were co- researchers too. Then I thought of Kyloe s family. People who were not part of the worshipping community but present by invita.on because of his bap.sm. They were not used to eucharis.c worship. They were outsiders. But through Kyloe s experience they experienced something unexpected, something of God that they wanted to share with me a]erwards. Here was a third group of people who could also be important co- researchers, people who were outside the worshipping community.

5 The process of recrui.ng these co- researchers to par.cipate in a Par.cipatory Ac.on Research method of gathering data was fraught and certainly not joyful. I was fearful I would not be able to recruit the numbers I needed. Then I was fearful that the par.cipants would simply dislike eucharis.c worship. It would be just as the dri] of messages coming from those in the wider Church said, that children and their parents needed informal short, ac.ve services. That the Eucharist with its formal, set liturgical prac.ce was not invita.onal. I knew this dominant ideology in the wider Church to be a caricature of eucharis.c worship but I was nevertheless fearful that my co- researcher children and adults new to the worship in my churches, would find the services long, boring and incomprehensible, just as those dominant voices prophesied. The sort of semi- spontaneous co- cura.on I had planned did not involve rehearsals or the children speaking. The focus was on their presence at the centre of worship. I was also fearful that the servers, who would each have a child partnering them in their liturgical ac.ons, would balk at the process, would resent the presence of children. Then finally, I was fearful that on the day there would simply be no children. They would not turn up. As the data gathering process unfolded I began to relax because, despite all my fears, co- cura.on for the first.me was happening in my churches. The children did turn up. The servers worked happily with them. The other co- researchers turned up. The data would reveal if it worked and what it was that was working. What excites me most? First, I am excited by the overwhelmingly posi.ve response to the Eucharist itself by my child and community co- researchers. In the first phases at each church when all the researchers simply afended the services as they were with no co- cura.on I expected the sort of reac.ons I had been prepared for by those dominant voices. My control groups, the researchers from within the congrega.ons, would of course have posi.ve things to say because it was their usual prac.ce. But I did not expect what emerged in the data from the outsiders and the children. These people are usually characterised by the wider Church as either the unchurched or as lapsed Chris.ans. These were going to be valuable voices in the data. Since the research concluded two have been bap.sed and one is a regular afender though the research was never intended as a vehicle for discipleship. I knew in my heart that it was important to my research that the data reflect these diverse community voices. I expected an equally diverse range of responses but what was so exci.ng was hearing the community researchers agreeing with each other that they thought the Eucharist to be important, that they liked the liturgical ac.on, that the worship evoked posi.ve feelings and in par.cular, feelings of peace.

6 The usual arguments about the Eucharist being too formal or incomprehensible a service for the lapsed or unchurched just didn t square with the data I gathered. Second, I am excited by the overwhelmingly posi.ve responses of my co- researchers to children co- cura.ng the Eucharist. There was irrefutable evidence in the data, gathered from six groups of researchers across my two churches, that children co- cura.ng the Eucharist was liked. Four of these were parents of the children taking part. My first experience of worship with the Taize Community included seeing my children co- curate with the brothers. At the.me I had no term to describe how the children were central, integral to the worship. What I saw and experienced was that children were a necessary feature of the curatorial. Not for show, or entertainment, or an accre.on but an essen.al ingredient. Their presence was both physical and symbolic. For a parent to know their child is welcomed at the centre of worship and to be a necessary part of it, is a special thing. The posi.ve experiences of my co- researchers though was not confined to the parents. I expected co- cura.on with children to be resisted by the congrega.on par.cipants. Unlike the other co- researchers these people were experiencing a change to the norm. They expected it of course as they were fully briefed about the subject they were researching and they were willing par.cipants. Nevertheless, experiencing a fundamental change to the worship they were used to, I felt would inevitably result in feelings of loss or dislike or resistance. It was exci.ng for me to discover that these nega.ve feelings were not experienced. Their feelings of worship though were largely unaffected. I am most excited however, by the insigheul responses of the children to co- cura.on. This research set out to let the voices of children be heard. My methodology was designed so that adults would have the opportunity to listen to what children had to say and to learn from them. The children s responses func.oned at a deeper and more profound level that was unexpected. As I read the data back it gave me goose bumps. To talk about co- cura.ng being like a big piece of the puzzle of the church is so layered with meaning. This co- researcher began by saying, a piece of the church then corrected himself, no, a big piece. This child and all the children voiced experiences that resonated with my experiences of being part of the curatorial of the Eucharist. These were child responses but not childish. The children experienced worship at a deeper level because they were inside it. It was as though they could touch it and feel it. It was tangible. Coming close to God was also tangible. Some of the children expressed feelings of being close to Jesus, and ea.ng Jesus.

7 How does what I am excited about connect. with the Eucharist I chose a research enquiry about the experiences of eucharis.c worship because the Eucharist is the principal act of worship of the Church of England and this is the tradi.on within which I prac.ce my ministry. In parish churches the Eucharist is supposed to be celebrated on Sundays. For some churches like ours this is the main service of the day. For others the Eucharist may now be a short said version earlier on a Sunday morning to be followed by a Service of the Word, o]en called a Family Service, and billed as the main service. In other churches the Eucharist may only happen twice or once a month. One aspect of this enquiry has been to address the issue of whether the Eucharist can be a service where children and people new to church can feel welcomed, included and leave with a posi.ve experience of worship. The data showed that for my co- researchers this ques.on could be answered with a yes. This does not make a case though that the Eucharist will always be a welcoming and posi.ve experience. Eucharis.c worship can be prac.sed in many different ways. There are degrees of formality. The use of liturgical ac.on and varying approaches to inclusion mean the Eucharist may feel very different from church to church. In our churches I hope the Eucharist is for everyone. A very liberal approach is taken to the distribu.on of Holy Communion. Though vestments are worn by the president and there is a robed altar party of crucifer, thurifer and servers, with liturgical ac.ons that are choreographed, the curatorial of worship is relaxed and this is par.cularly evident in the sharing of the Peace. It is a joyful.me. There are also.mes of silence before and during prayers and at the distribu.on of Holy Communion but these are joyful.mes too. with liturgical acuon The data also shows that liturgical ac.on was important to the co- researchers. Ac.on draws people in, allows the congrega.on to almost feel and touch. As well as the visual array of liturgical colour, candles, processional cross and swinging incense thurible there are sounds and smells. At the eleva.on of the bread and the wine by the president at the moment of consecra.on there are bells too. One co- researcher who had her three year old son with her spoke about his fixa.on on the breaking of the bread. When he saw and heard this on his first visit he spent the rest of the day telling his family about when Trudie broke the bread. When he came to church again he waited eagerly for the moment when this would happen and delightedly told everyone, Trudie broke the bread again!

8 and processions In the research groups the children spoke about how much they liked processions. One of my very early experiences of worship was on a fes.val Sunday seeing the altar party and choir process round the church to the singing of a joyful hymn. This was my first.me seeing them close to me all dressed up and carrying books and banners and cross. It was a feast for the eyes and they moved past me rhythmically like a dance. I made up my mind then I would be in that choir when I was old enough. The co- researcher children spoke about their enjoyment of moving about in procession. They spoke of feeling part of something, of coming close to the people and of feeling important. One congrega.on co- researcher spoke of the bigger presence at the centre of worship. Seeing the large group process in and move about the church made him feel part of something bigger. At St Edmund s on the First Sunday of the month the Eucharist is celebrated using powerpoint and screen and with a Eucharis.c Prayer sung by president and people together in a response form. The sermon and prayers are interac.ve and give people opportuni.es to make a liturgical ac.on themselves such as ligh.ng a candle or floa.ng a flower prayer on the bap.smal water at the font. The community co- researchers made reference to this service in their responses, welcoming the opportunity to engage more in the ac.on of worship and no.ng how young and old worked together and helped each other. We have recently introduced a similar service at St Osmund s. Eucharis.c worship prac.sed in other churches may be very muted in comparison, with the focus being on formality rather than engagement, and on word rather than ac.on. with Godly Play I am also a Godly Play prac..oner. One of the languages of Godly Play is liturgical ac.on. The cloth is changed on the focal shelf to reflect the season of the church year and even this is enacted through a story. The emphasis is on the ac.on. The language of silence is also prac.sed so that children (and adults) have.me to wonder. The responses of the co- researchers connect with Godly Play prac.ce. Godly Play s liturgical prac.ce is closely connected with that of the Eucharist through story, ac.on, silence and feast. As a prac..oner who is also a priest the telling of the synthesis story: The Good Shepherd and World Communion is a par.cular favourite of mine. As all the story people, old and young, are gathered around the table of the Good Shepherd It finishes with the line: and even the children come. I am always deeply moved at this moment and led to wonder how far our churches reflect this theology.

9 with Taizé The data also connects with my experiences of worship in Taizé. The adult co- researchers who were also parents or grandparents of co- researcher children spoke of their emo.ons when seeing their children co- curate. My first bewildering experience was the Sunday evening Prayer of a new Taizé week. There were thousands of people as my husband with our seven year old son found a space to sit on the carpet and I squeezed into a space in front of them with my small daughter. When I turned round to whisper a comment about the brothers taking their places and to point out Brother Roger, as the prior was sefling down at the back of the hundred or so brothers in the middle of church, I saw my son was not there. My husband rather weakly whispered that someone had come and taken him. He did correct that has.ly, saying that someone had asked if MaFhew would like to sit with Brother Roger. When I looked up I saw, not just my son but a small crowd of children half hidden by the hedge. They were leaning forward as Brother Roger laid a light hand on their heads in blessing before sefling down for the Prayer. A]er that MaFhew sat and moved with Brother Roger every day, three.mes a day. Each.me he told us something new about the Prayer. He told us about Brother Roger ligh.ng their candles, about walking with the brothers to take communion to people and he told us that Brother Roger smoked: he must do Mummy as he lights our candles with a cigarefe lighter! My feelings of seeing my son co- curate worship with the Brothers resonated with the feelings of my parent co- researchers as they learnt about the worship from the perspec.ve of their children. The children s comments flow easily between the mafer- of- fact and the theological. For children it seems there is lifle dis.nc.on between things human and things divine..and where am I? My response to the data I have gathered is a mix of the personal, reflected in my experiences as a mother, my own spiritual prac.ce and my professional prac.ce, reflected in my experiences as a parish priest. The abiding sense of working with the data is one of blessing, of being blessed by the data. It is affirming. In the data the ac.on or prac.ce of liturgy is commented on over and over again but not simply as an end in itself. The ac.on is important because it reflects something of the divine. When children and liturgical ac.on are brought together it is as though the circle is joined.

10 Walking the Camino 13th June - 14th July 32 Days and nights as a Peregrino on the Way of St James to the cathedral of Santiago de Compostela Please pray for me and think of me on this most spiritual of journeys I begin, with my two sisters at St Jean Pied-de-Port Our first night at one of the many Alberges, or Pilgrim Hostels en route, is booked at Roncesvalles, after a full day trek over the Pyrenees After that we will take each day as it comes