who do you think you are?

Transcription

1 Learn the backward step that turns your light inward to illuminate your self. Body and mind of themselves will drop away, and your original face will be manifest. Dogen who do you think you are? CODY FARLEY From the very start of my practice, I have always loved chanting. Okay, I confess. I actually enjoy the chanting more than the sitting. What IS sitting, really, but the thing you do BEFORE the chanting. And because I loved chanting, it was only a matter of time before I volunteered for the role of Kokyo (the person who calls out the chants and dedications during service). At Beginner s Mind Zen Center, we merge the role of Kokyo with Doan, the person who rings the bells. Combined, the two roles choreograph the actions of the temple during service. Bells signal when to bow or sit. Voice announces which chant is about to begin. While there are many ways to serve the sangha, this is one of the key leadership roles. I ve been in the Kokyo rotation, I think, since around While our practice is in many ways supposed to suspend judgment, I have my own idealized intention for performing a good service. A good service, for me, is a consistent bell that vibrates through the zendo and calls out to every ear. When I think of the morning bell at Beginner s Mind, I imagine that it resonates through every corner: >> BE AT PEACE! << Somewhere in the house, Harvey (Peter and Jane s cat) wakes with a smile and watches as the lawn sprinklers come to life. photo: bells / photos in this issue (unless otherwise noted) by jon fish from the 19 january 2014 jukai - lay precepts ceremony >> IT S MORNING! << For the Kokyo, the voice is also a bell. It is a herald that calls out, even to the zabutons that are empty. >> AWAKE! HARNESS YOUR INTENTION! <<< >> WE ARE BEINGS INSIDE THE MYSTERY. << >> WE ARE CONSCIOUS AND JOYFUL! << When I am my ideal Kokyo, I am voice. Just voice. All voice. But my experience being Kokyo has shifted over the years. Sometimes, I can t wait to come to the zendo and channel just voice. Other times, there is no one else available to be Kokyo and I sit at the bells with a sense of dread. I don t want to call. I want to be called. I have wondered why this is so, and have found some clues. It is the same discomfort I often feel at the office where I work. As a manager in a large corporation, continued on page 10 the backward step editors@beginnersmindzencenter.org : David Boyns / Jon Fish content wrangler: Matt Propper beginner s mind zen center northridge, california / teachers: Yozen Peter Schneider and Myokaku Jane Schneider president: David Boyns / secretary: Cody Farley treasurer: Stacy Dickler / co-treasurers: David Boyns and Jon Fish director: Mark Middlebrook tanto: David Boyns / ino: Beth Wolfson articles / issue 1 / 2014 who do you think you are?...1 leaving no traces / jane schneider...2 on the precepts and the noble eightfold path / peter schneider...3 some terms and concepts in the heart sutra...7 bodywork for buddhists a welcome i take refuge in the three treasures branching streams conference tentative provisional definition of engi how i met the buddha...20

2 leaving no traces (from 13 nov 2010) JANE SCHNEIDER In the dictionary, the word comprehension is defined as understanding, capacity to perceive, ability to know, ability to grasp with the mind. Comprehensive means inclusive, a large scope, very extensive. To comprehend means to take in everything with clarity. Shakyamuni Buddha taught about the Eightfold Path in the Pali Canon. In one of his talks he discusses the Eightfold Path, and what that means to follow and practice. He describes someone who follows the Eightfold Path sincerely, as: One who acts with clear comprehension when going forward and returning; who acts with clear comprehension when looking ahead and looking away; who acts with clear comprehension when flexing and extending his limbs; who acts with clear comprehension when wearing his robes and carrying his outer robe and bowl; who acts with clear comprehension when eating, drinking, chewing, and tasting; who acts with clear comprehension when defecating and urinating, falling asleep, waking up, talking, and keeping silent. And he refers to this quality of person as one who has noble restraint of the faculties. We practice and talk a lot about what it means to be mindful in practice, and I think this is a very good description of it, to have a noble restraint of their faculties. When we talk about what it is to be mindful, we mean someone who is paying complete attention. Not someone who is focusing a small amount here, and off somewhere else, but whatever they do, whatever small thing it is, whatever big thing it is, their 100% attention is focused on it. When you come here to sit, you don t come in to plan things while you re sitting here; your intention is to really sit. This is giving 100% attention; this is to be mindful. If your mind does start to wander, your intention keeps bringing it back, many times, over and over. That intention is what leads to a noble restraint of the faculties. No matter how much you sit, or how little, every time you make an effort to bring yourself back again to where you are and what you re doing, in giving your attention to the moment, in following your breath, you are developing that important quality, noble restraint, in practice. We talk a lot about being mindful in our activities. Being mindful is giving full attention. Being mindful is being aware. Being mindful is being present, body, speech and mind. Shakyamuni Buddha describes someone who is mindful as being one who acts with clear comprehension to whatever activity he or she is doing. When we talk about clear comprehension, we re talking about being aware of the whole picture, not just a small part. For example, when we do kinhin we try to be aware of where everyone is. We don t only pay attention to our own activity of walking, but to the entire room. We are aware of where everyone is, how we may be obstructing or causing some problem. Part of being mindful is not just of our own activities, but to be mindful of everyone s as well. For example, if we are mindful walking on the street and pay attention to our feet, and how we cross the street, or we listen to the traffic, if we are not looking at the traffic as well, this can be a real problem. Being mindful does not mean being off in a separate world away from everything. It means being right in the center of everything, whatever the center may be. If the activity is walking in traffic, you not only pay attention to yourself, but to the traffic conditions, as well as the people around you. If you are working with other people, you pay attention to other people, as well as to yourself. In fact, those other people become a part of your practice much like the zafu, the zabuton, the chanting and the incense; they become your practice. continued on page 4 page issue 1

3 on the precepts and the noble eightfold path PETER SCHNEIDER The first time that Shakyamuni Buddha spoke after his enlightenment was to teach about the Four Noble Truths. These truths are: that we suffer, that there is a cause of our suffering, that there is relief from our suffering, and there is a path to relieve our suffering. In Zen Buddhism, we tend to talk about the first three of these and might not seem to study the fourth, the Noble Eightfold Path, so much. You might not be able to name each of its eight elements and may be surprised to hear that they contain much that is used within Mahayana and Soto Zen Buddhism. Indeed, nearly all of the precepts are there. The first of these elements is Right View. The second is Right Intention. The third is Right Speech. The fourth is Right Action. The fifth is Right Livelihood. The sixth is Right Effort. The seventh is Right Mindfulness. And the eighth is Right Concentration. The first element, Right View, is to come to the understanding that the Four Noble Truths are indeed true. You may have known that something wasn t right with your life and may have looked for answers in various places. Maybe you meditated on our own for some time. Maybe you went to a temple to learn how to meditate. There are many ways to find yourself taking a first or closer look at Buddhism, but the end result is that you found it suited you and that you agreed with what you read or heard about what Shakyamuni Buddha taught. This is to have Right View. The second element of the Eightfold Path is Right Intention. Right Intention is going beyond merely thinking that Buddhism is true. It is deciding to do something about it. This is making a personal commitment to practice not to your teacher (although that could be a part of it) or to Buddha but to yourself, because obviously your practice is about you. You will be studying your self. As you learn about your self, of course, you will find out many things that you didn t know. This decision to practice in Right Intention may have been what Suzuki Roshi described as having way-seeking mind. Like with Right View, it can appear in many ways. It could happen to you just by reading something. It could happen to you when sitting for the first time. It could happen to you when you say to yourself, Oh my gosh! I am living my life upside-down! It could happen to you when you realize that your true family is not the family that you were born into, but the family of buddhas and bodhisattvas. This is what home leaving is about. Leaving home doesn t have to mean that one is taking off for somewhere, like monks entering into a monastic temple, severing their personal relationships. No. Taking the precepts in itself is also a kind of home leaving. Taking them is to accept that Buddha is your parent and you are a baby bodhisattva. From this time on, you begin to turn your life around. This is what it means to have Right Intention. Shakyamuni Buddha distinguished three types of Right Intention: the Intention of Renunciation; the Intention of Good Will; and the Intention of Harmlessness. These are where the Three Pure Precepts in our sixteen Bodhisattva Precepts come from. We refer to the Intention of Renunciation in two ways in our ceremonies. One is in the Meal Chant when we say to stop all evil. Another is in our monthly Bodhisattva Ceremony, where we vow to refrain from doing what is not good. What we are actually renouncing is our desire to be selfish. Desires are generally selfserving. There s nothing inherently wrong with them; the problem is that they can be so easily connected by us to our self. When you become a Buddhist, you practice with the precepts early on because they are, paraphrasing continued on page 5 issue page 3

4 leaving no traces / continued from page 2 Whatever happens in the world outside the zendo is also your real practice. Clear comprehension is being aware of the whole picture, not focusing on one part and ignoring the rest. Our first step is to bring ourselves back to immediate body and mind. Then our faculties, our senses engage us more clearly as thoughts calm down. Our senses become alert; we hear, feel, touch, smell and taste. We become aware of the sounds outside as well as in the zendo, the feel of clothing, cushions, the sight of the wall or floor, the touch of our hands, the smell of incense, of clothing, and so on. When we spend less time engaging our thoughts, and more on the activities of the senses, we stop clinging to thinking mind. In that calmness we are ready to do shikantaza. Shikantaza means to just sit and let go of whatever thought arises without engaging it. It means to sit without goals. It means sitting with everything-as-it-is. In shikantaza body and mind drop off. In shikantaza we leave no traces. Dropping off body and mind is sometimes described as like a bird flying in the sky; it leaves no traces of its activity. Shikantaza can also be seen as drawing a line in water with a stick. It leaves no traces. Leaving no traces means leaving nothing behind to stumble over later. Our practice means facing each moment without preconceptions. The person you meet is your friend and not your friend, your spouse and not your spouse, your child and not your child, your enemy and not your enemy, your boss and not your boss, your coworker and not your co-worker. Who is the one you meet? And who is the one who meets that one? Obviously, shikantaza doesn t only happen on the cushion. Shikantaza takes time to develop. Much of the time when sitting, we engage our thoughts to fight off the distressing situations that emerge. But the more you sit, the more chance you have to experience a mind and body quiet enough to just sit. Shikantaza doesn t happen when we give partial attention to what we are doing. It means full comprehension of the moment; it means being aware of everything present. For example, if we bow in the zendo to someone but don t notice what the someone is doing, we may leave them hanging as we bow either too fast or too slowly. Each moment we meet a request. If we are lost in thought, the request is lost as well, or our interpretation of it depends loosely on the nature of the thought of the moment. When sitting, we directly meet our deepest request moment by moment. The request may be to put aside fear, to withstand physical distress, to calm our thinking, to open to a new experience. On the cushion or not, the request is there, but easier to recognize when we are not busy with affairs. Outside the zendo the request may be to listen, to understand, to stop talking, to pay attention, to take care of someone, to rest. I say our deepest request because we are the architects of the moment, and the request comes from us. Ignoring it is an escape from ourselves into oblivion, even if only for the moment. To our good fortune, we can t escape ourselves because the next moment a new request arises, and then another and another. We are persistent. Every moment is a gold mine if we pay attention. Being alert to our senses isn t obsessing about them, unless we cling to them. In practice, while sitting, or whatever else we do, we hear and let go, smell and let go, see and let go, touch and let go, think and let go. If like or dislike enters the action, unless we let them go as well, we leave big traces behind to stumble over. We do indeed cause our own suffering. I encourage you to practice and to sit. When you sit, you may just do shikantaza and experience what drawing a line in water with a stick means. You may sit like a bird flying in the sky and leave no traces. page issue 1

5 on the precepts and the noble eightfold path / continued from page 3 what Suzuki Roshi said, a picture of our true nature. The precepts point out to us when we are not following that nature, which is every time we see ourselves doing something that is not good. By violating the precepts, we are doing not only something that can hurt others but violates our own nature. This is the meaning of not doing what is not good. The Right Intention of Good Will appears in the second of the Three Pure Precepts in the vow to do what is good. Being disturbed less by our selfishness (which takes some time), we have a greater tendency to do what is good. We are not in neutral anymore. We do things that are positive, not just refrain from doing things that are not. The Right Intention of Harmlessness is expressed in Mahayana Buddhism in our vow to live for the benefit of all beings to save all beings. While harmlessness means to do no injury to others, positively, it is to help others, and this is what we stress as bodhisattvas. The third element of the Eightfold Path is Right Speech. Here is where we begin to find the Ten Grave Precepts of the sixteen Bodhisattva Precepts. In Right Speech there are three vows concerning what comes out of our mouths: I vow not to lie. I vow not to slander. I vow not to praise self at the expense of others. While Shakyamuni Buddha divided Right Speech into four parts, these line up with our precepts pretty closely. The first section is to abstain from false speech (this means abstention from any kind of deception). The second is to abstain from slanderous speech. The third is to abstain from harsh words that offend or hurt others (which is a little different than our vow not to praise self at the expense of others, though both emphasize speech that comes at the expense of others. ). The one section in Right Speech that is not in our precepts, to abstain from idle chatter, in other words, not to gossip, we incorporate into the vow not to slander. The fourth element of the Eightfold Path is Right Action. Right Action is expressed in our precepts with the vows: I vow not to kill. I vow not to take what is not given. I vow to refrain from intoxicants. I vow not to misuse sexuality. These four are readily understandable. I vow not to kill means pledging not to hurt anybody, any sentient beings. I vow not to take what is not given, means to refrain from stealing. Abstaining from sexual misconduct doesn t imply that having desires is wrong, or that sexuality is wrong, but that misusing it or hurting others through it certainly is. The fifth element of the Eightfold Path is Right Livelihood. In Buddha s time, this was applied to selling weapons, not dealing in human beings, (that is, not having something to do with slavery or prostitution), raising animals for slaughter, not working in meat production and butchery, and not selling intoxicants and poisons. One of these was important in the history of Soto Zen. Japan has lots of mountainous coastline and historically many people could only live by fishing. There was nothing they could do to avoid their situation the government wouldn t permit them to move yet they were not allowed to receive Buddhist names upon their deaths and so theoretically couldn t go to the other world. Soto Zen offered compassion to fisherman and farmers as well by giving posthumous Buddhist names to be used in that Buddha world. Nowadays, we can apply Right Livelihood to choosing occupations that would overindulge our or others senses by use of alcohol or drugs. Intoxication can also include indulgence in other things we consume, and even in our own thinking. The final three of our Ten Grave Precepts do not come from the Eightfold Path but from the three poisons greed, anger, and delusion given in the second of the Four Noble Truths. The precept I vow not to be possessive of anything refers to our feeling of ownership of what we have, including our occupation and related social status. In actuality we can t own anything, neither our spouse nor our children, our animals, our house, our car, or our job. We cannot continued on page 6 issue page 5

6 on the precepts and the noble eightfold path / continued from page 5 possess anything. Another understanding is that this precept refers to being stingy with the Dharma. Rather than being possessive, we should be generous about giving things away, including the Dharma. Another precept concerned with the three poisons is I vow not to harbor ill will, which usually gets expressed in anger. However, the Buddha was not necessarily recommending that we not be angry. We get angry, but often we then get angry about being angry, and we get angry about being angry about being angry and finally we are really angry and want to fight. Rather it is the harboring of ill will, the holding on to anger that is the problem. In commenting on this precept, Dogen Zenji referred to anger as the beautiful clouds in the sky not dark clouds, but beautiful ones. That s what anger is like. Losing your temper? Not so terrible. Staying resentful? Not so good. The final precept of the Ten Grave Precepts is to vow not to disparage the Three Treasures, to not put down Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. Doubt, along with laziness and pride, is one of three types of delusion, the third poison. The first three of the sixteen Bodhisattva Precepts pay homage to the Three Treasures; if we start to criticize these treasures, we are surely under the power of doubt. The sixth element of the Eightfold Path is Right Effort. Practice takes time. Some people may have an enlightenment experience in the first few years of their practice. Just because they do does not mean that they can stop practicing. Making effort is still essential after that. Right Effort is to continue to go on, despite the gains, despite the hardships. In fact, in practice we only need to do two things: start practicing (Right Attention) and then not stop (Right Effort). That s it. But if and when we do stop, we should start again. Shakyamuni Buddha said that there are four types of Right Effort: These are with respect to negative thinking and positive thinking. One effort is to prevent the arising of unarisen unwholesome states. This is to not allow a negative thought, an unwholesome state, suffering on your own part, to arise. However, if a negative thought comes up, there is no blame if we see the thought and say, Oh, that s a thought, and go back to our practice. Noticing a negative thought appear in our mind and going back to what we were doing before the thought occurred is an important part of our practice. The next type is to abandon unwholesome states that have already arisen. You may get involved in your selfish negative thoughts. You may find that a single thought has mushroomed or ballooned on you, but recognizing this, you must cease letting yourself be taken along for a ride; you just have to not go on following what is now them. The third is to arouse wholesome states that have not arisen, and that is to recognize and support a positive thought that comes up in our mind. The last is to maintain and perfect wholesome states already arisen. Benevolence, kindness, and honesty are some of the resulting states that are mentioned. Right Mindfulness and Right Concentration are the seventh and eighth paths. They are traditionally seen as the result of having dealt with these first six practices of the Eightfold Path. I think you can guess what mindfulness is: it is being aware moment after moment. Much greater clarity comes from learning to maintain this. Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche said that he would let his students find out about mindfulness on their own. This last element of the Eightfold Path is what Zen Buddhism stresses, the practice you are doing by meditating. Exactly what you are doing. Just concentrating. Concentrating on a Buddhist text. Concentrating on zazen. Concentrating on one thing. Concentrating on our breaths. However, true Right Concentration is very difficult until we have cleared up our act by stopping making new karma and dealing with our present karma. That is why we must attend to all the earlier elements of the Noble Eightfold Path. While I have lined up these eight elements as if they were stages one after the other, we can be practicing on any of them at any time. If you have an insight into the real nature of reality, whether it is far in the future or today; wisdom will be there. Wisdom is not caused by thinking; wisdom is knowing. If we think something out, it may be beautiful or really intelligent, but it is not wisdom. Wisdom is you know it. Having some wisdom is helpful for teachers, so they don t answer us based only upon their thoughts, but upon their immediate perception of what we have just said to them. page issue 1

7 some terms and concepts mentioned in the prajna paramita hrdaya sutra (heart sutra) CRAIG PAUP The Heart Sutra is one of a large group of Prajnaparamita Sutras which may have at some point consisted of hundreds of texts. Scholars believe that the oldest of these, The Perfection of Wisdom in Eight Thousand Lines, was written between 100 BCE and 100 CE. Longer versions were later written, ranging up to 100,000 lines as were shorter ones, like the Heart Sutra and the Diamond Sutra, ranging down to The Perfection of Wisdom in a Single Letter (A). Of all of these, indeed, of all Mahayana Sutras, the Heart Sutra may be the most popular. One reason that has been suggested by Buddhist scholar Donald S. Lopez Jr. is that since it is short, it is easily memorized and contains references to the basic categories of Buddhist doctrine, which makes it a perfect vehicle for the exposition of (Buddhism). With this in mind, here are some simple (ok, not so simple but I tried) and incomplete explanations of some of the terms and concepts used in the Heart Sutra. GREAT WISDOM BEYOND WISDOM HEART SUTRA This title is often translated as The Heart of the Perfection of Wisdom. The word, heart is usually interpreted as essence. The term, perfection of wisdom or wisdom beyond wisdom is Prajnaparamita, one of the bodhisattva practices (paramitas or perfections). 1 Prajna is sometimes described as the culmination of the other paramitas, the Mother of All Buddhas, and is even personified as a goddess. Paramita is also said to mean gone beyond and the term great (maha) is sometimes added so the title can also be Great Wisdom Beyond Wisdom Heart Sutra. 1 The six paramitas are dana (generosity), sila (morality), ksanti (forbearance), virya (effort), dhyana (meditation), and prajna (wisdom or insight). The Ten Stages (Dasabhumika) Sutra describes three further (teaching) perfections: upaya (skillful means), bala (spiritual power) and jnana (knowledge). AVALOKITESHVARA BODHISATTVA, WHEN PRACTICING DEEPLY PRAJNA PARAMITA, SAW CLEARLY THAT ALL FIVE SKANDHAS ARE EMPTY AND THUS RELIEVED ALL SUFFERING. Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva ( Lord Avalokita ) is the Enlightening Being Who Hears the Cries of the World. A bodhisattva (enlightening being) has vowed to attain enlightenment for the sake of all beings. A Great Being Bodhisattva (Mahasattva) like Lord Avalokita is very far along that path, and hears the cries of the world with compassion. It is said also that Lord Avalokita awakened while meditating on sound. Avalokita looks down to see, not beings, but the Five Skandhas (bundles, heaps or aggregates) which constitute the personality and its environment, or, people and their world. They are rupa (form), the personality s exterior world, and its interior world: vedana (sensation, or feeling), samjna (apperception, or discrimination), samskara (volition, or mental formations), and vijnana (discernment, or consciousness). SHARIPUTRA, FORM DOES NOT DIFFER FROM EMPTINESS; EMPTINESS DOES NOT DIFFER FROM FORM. FORM ITSELF IS EMPTINESS. EMPTINESS ITSELF IS FORM. SENSATION, PERCEPTION, FORMATION, AND CONSCIOUSNESS ARE ALSO LIKE THIS. Shariputra was one of the historical Buddha Sakyamuni s most eminent monks and an Arhat, a non-returner, the highest spiritual attainment in early Buddhism. An Arhat has seen through the illusory self and its world, in this case by stripping down the experience of being into its constituent parts. These parts, or dharmas, were thought by some early Buddhists to be svabhava, or having inherent self-nature: the irreducible, fundamental substance of which everything is made. This is where these early Mahayana texts, The Prajnaparamita Sutras, made a radical assertion in the continued on page 8 issue page 7

8 heart sutra terms and concepts / continued from page 7 conception of emptiness (sunyata) and dependent origination (pratityasamutpada). Lord Avalokita explains to Shariputra that while things that are dependent on causes and conditions, like people, chariots and furniture, are empty, so the momentary dharmas of which they are constructed are also empty. There is no fundamental substance. So, the Mahayana view is that while Shariputra and his school had the right idea, they did not go far enough with their analysis. The Dharma based on the Four Noble Truths and the Skandhas introduces emptiness and dependent origination. Now, the second turning of the Dharma goes deeper. By the end of the Sutra, a third turning which is the mantra, has transcended both the first and the second. According to this newer version of dependent origination then, there is neither cessation nor origination, neither annihilation nor the eternal, neither singularity nor plurality, neither the coming nor the going (of any dharma) (Nagarjuna, Mulamadhyamakakarika) SHARIPUTRA, ALL DHARMAS ARE MARKED WITH EMPTINESS. THEY DO NOT ARISE NOR CEASE, ARE NOT DEFILED NOR PURE, DO NOT INCREASE NOR DECREASE. Since the dharmas and emptiness are identical, this line is essentially a definition of emptiness itself. In some translations, this paragraph begins: Here, Shariputra Here, form and all the skandhas are empty, and emptiness is form. Here is coursing in compassionate, transcendental wisdom: Prajnaparamita. Here is true Zen practice. Here all dharmas are marked by (have the characteristic of) emptiness. The Diamond Sutra says: bodhisattvas should be free from all conceptions and develop the mind of anuttara-samyak-sambodhi (unsurpassed, complete, perfect enlightenment). They should not rely on sight to generate this mind. They should not rely on sound, scent, taste, touch or thought to generate this mind. They should generate a mind that does not rely on anything. IT FOLLOWS, WITH EMPTINESS, THAT THERE IS NO FORM, NO SENSATION, NO PERCEPTION, NO FORMATION, NO CONSCIOUSNESS; NO EYES, NO EARS, NO NOSE, NO TONGUE, NO BODY, NO MIND; NO SIGHT, NO SOUND, NO SMELL, NO TASTE, NO TOUCH, NO OBJECT OF MIND; NO REALM OF SIGHT NO REALM OF MIND CONSCIOUSNESS; NO IGNORANCE pigeons on lake rest (photo) / matt propper NOR EXTINCTION OF IGNORANCE NO OLD AGE AND DEATH NOR EXTINCTION OF OLD AGE AND DEATH; NO SUFFERING, NO CAUSATION, NO CESSATION, NO PATH; NO KNOWLEDGE AND NO ATTAINMENT. The phrase beginning, no eyes, no ears etc. lists the six sense dharmas (including mind) and declares them to be empty. [N]o sight, no sound etc. lists the objects of the senses and they are also empty. [N]o realm of sight is sometimes translated as, no dhatu of vision; the eighteen dhatus are the six senses again (indriya), the six sense objects (vishaya, these could be also called qualia, which avoids implying a dualistic separation between subject and object), and the six consciousnesses (how different from western psychology!) which are associated with them (six vijnanas). These are all helpful teachings for breaking the habit of taking unreal things to be real, and they themselves are to be seen as ultimately unreal. The phrase beginning, no ignorance, nor extinction of ignorance refers to the Twelvefold Chain of Causation (pratityasamutpada). It has twelve more dharmas: forward, they go from ignorance (avidya) link-by-link to old age and death (jaramarana); backward, they end in no death. No suffering, no causation, no cessation, no path refers to The Four Noble Truths (dukha, samudaya, nirodha and marga). These, too, are declared empty. Knowledge and attainment are the fruits of the path, which are also declared empty. These profound teachings, which explain how ignorance leads to suffering and how suffering can be relieved, are all empty. Everything that Shariputra and his school had relied upon is declared empty. continued on page 9 page issue 1

9 heart sutra terms and concepts / continued from page 8 WITH NOTHING TO ATTAIN, THE BODHISATTVA RELIES ON PRAJNA PARAMITA AND THE MIND HAS NO HINDRANCES. WITHOUT ANY HINDRANCES, NO FEARS EXIST. FAR BEYOND EVERY INVERTED VIEW ONE DWELLS IN NIRVANA. This is one definition of nirvana. Things as they are = nirvana. IN THE THREE WORLDS* ALL BUDDHAS DEPEND ON PRAJNA PARAMITA, THEREBY ATTAINING UNSURPASSED, COMPLETE, PERFECT ENLIGHTENMENT. THEREFORE, KNOW THE PRAJNA PARAMITA MANTRA IS THE GREAT TRANSCENDENT MANTRA, IS THE GREAT BRIGHT MANTRA, IS THE SUPREME MANTRA, IS THE INCOMPARABLE MANTRA, WHICH REMOVES ALL SUFFERING AND IS TRUE NOT FALSE. THUS PROCLAIM THE PRAJNA PARAMITA MANTRA, PROCLAIM THE MANTRA THAT SAYS GATE GATE PARAGATE PARASAMGATE, BODHI SVAHA! *The three worlds of desire, form and no-form, which comprise samsara, wandering, the cycle of rebirth. The rest of the Sutra is about practicing Prajnaparamita and that mysterious mantra. Rely on your practice and abide in it. This is the liberating message of the Heart Sutra. There are many useful teachings. Use them! Practicing deeply means rely only on your own inherent wisdom. Don t tie yourself up with imaginary rope! Don t even cling to this Sutra! No hindrances, no fears! I ve heard many different meanings for the mantra. I like this one today: Freedom! Freedom! Freedom beyond Freedom! Beyond Anything! Inconceivable! River of Gems (watercolor) / Sande Garvin Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes.) Walt Whitman, Song of Myself THE BACKWARD STEP is a publication of BEGINNER S MIND ZEN CENTER 9325 Lasaine Avenue Northridge, CA Please direct all inquiries, comments and submissions to the editor: editors@beginnersmindzencenter.org TO SUBSCRIBE: Click here if you re reading this in a PDF OR Scan the QR Code here with your smartphone 2014 Beginner s Mind Zen Center. All rights reserved. I Went to the Nirvana Café And asked the waiter WHAT THEY HAD TO DRINK The waiter responded: NOTHING Good, I replied, I ll take an extra large. The Next Week I went to Café Illusion Next Door Where everything was real illusion Do you have anything for self realization? I asked. The waiter offered me a blue smoothie (with artificial flavor) And handed me a counterfeit map to Nirvana. Richard Weekley issue page 9

10 who do you think you are? / continued from page 1 I lead a team of five people some in my building, and others who are in different parts of the country. Sometimes, as I gather my team on a conference call, or direct them on how they should approach a project, there is a tiny but nagging voice in my head. >> WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? << At times, people in my company will call me and consult. They treat me as an authority. I serve them the best I can. But the voice persists. >> WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? << >> WHAT MAKES YOU SO SPECIAL? << This voice is often with me in the zendo. Wrestling with it has become a regular pastime. Sometimes I embrace being a leader. Other times, I wonder whether the ego has been activated. While my struggle feels deeply personal, I can t help but think that the early Zen practitioners also wrestled with their egos in this same fashion. In fact, these questions of the self are actually scripted into some of our Zen traditions. In monastic life, each practice period in Zen has a head student called the Shuso. The ritual to choose the Shuso is very formal (passed down for centuries?). Below is an excerpt from that ceremony. TEACHER: (student name), It has been decided that for this season, you will be Shuso for the temple. DISCIPLE: Master, my training is not complete. I am too inexperienced for such an important role. Any student would be better than me. TEACHER: Your reluctance shows that you are humble. This proves even further that you are ready to be Shuso. DISCIPLE: How about (name of student sitting behind)? They would be a much better Shuso. TEACHER: (student name), your reluctance grows tiresome. And the assembly is weary. DISCIPLE: Do they need help in the kitchen? If three people are needed in the kitchen, I can be #2 or #3. TEACHER: IT IS DONE! (student name), we proclaim you Shuso of the practice period! DISCIPLE: Is anyone doing the bathrooms? Okay, so maybe this is not the actual transcript of the ceremony, but as I recall, this is not far from the truth. Like Dana Carvey from Wayne s World, the Shuso is constantly declaring: We re not worthy!! We need leaders in the sangha just as we need leaders in our offices and government. When I m called to lead, I m pleased to use my gifts in any way I can to serve the greater good. And yet, who am I to be Kokyo? Or Tanto? Or the manager of five people? This is my struggle. It seems I am on the stage performing AND I am the loon in the back row throwing rotten tomatoes. I m fascinated by leaders like Jack Welch and Steve Jobs, but I m also the guy on the factory floor who wants to tear them off their pedestals. I am both Caesar and Brutus. Roadrunner and Coyote. I have struggled for years to integrate these different yet simultaneous perspectives. I have never succeeded. But there are clues to be found in these realizations. I think, sometimes, we are ALL the Shuso. Sometimes, we are all Kokyo. And whether I wanted to be Kokyo that day or not, to be my best Kokyo is to find the voice and just be Kokyo. Whether I am calling to others, or being called, full expression of both roles is most important. >> WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? << Much like asking Who am I? the question itself is very Zen. Doubt is a concept that is embedded in our practice. Without doubt, wouldn t we be blind fundamentalists? Perhaps a good leader has doubts as well. Without doubt, perhaps I would manage others at work without compassion. Without doubt, I might be so certain of my kokyo-ness that I never aspire to be a better Kokyo. Perhaps my true struggle is to simply be okay with the question. page issue 1

11 bodywork for buddhists BETH MEGILL As a dancer and performer, I have suffered many injuries over the years. However, very few can be attributed to an accident in rehearsal or performance (like a fall). Most of my injuries are of the chronic kind. The worst kind. Having tried most everything available and having different degrees of success, I took a leap of faith about a year ago and tried a new method called CFR. It stands for Cortical Field Re-education, an off-shoot of the work by Moshe Feldenkrais. What I discovered when starting the work is that it was actually less of a physical therapy practice than all others, and much more of a mindfulness practice. It was Zen for wellbeing! The CFR sessions have two formats: One-on-one table lessons give the practitioner time to manipulate the bones of my body to discover holding patterns that the brain has used for compensation and allow them to elongate and release. The group sessions involve following verbal instructions in a practice of self-observation and -awareness in minor movements that sometimes lead to more complex somatic patterns. The group sessions offer me a chance to observe what my body does. And, the key to these sessions is non-attachment. By knowing what we do, we develop agency to make different choices as needed. The emphasis in the group lessons is not on performance of the movement, but on the exploration of the lesson on an individual level. One person might be making profound discoveries about the way their shoulder moves (or doesn t move), while another participant might be taking note of their low back and pelvis and yet another person might be noticing mental resistance in the form of self criticism, confusion or frustration. We observe it all, knowing that the way we do one thing is likely the way we do everything. This practice of observation and non-attachment is at the heart of CFR. We notice our habits so that we can shed our physical compensations and mental strategies that are costing us our health and wellbeing. We look for habits that are mental, emotional and physical. Therefore, if I get frustrated in a lesson and feel like I can t do this. I then observe that reaction and wonder where else in my life that I feel like I can t do this. How does this pattern of thinking reflect in my pattern of interacting with the world? This deep reflection process is the very same as our experience on zazen in which we allow ourselves to be just as we are without judgment, knowing that the practice of non-attachment affords us a chance to look at what we do, see it for what it is and let it be or go as needed. I often share my experience of Zen with my practitioner who is Christian, and we joyfully connect on the power of a spiritual practice to help us be in our bodies and be in the world. The time we spend connecting to our sense of being (both physically and mentally) is our prayer, is our aligning with Buddha, is our Zen photos by Beth Megill practice. For more information on my practitioner, Melissa Krikorian or CFR in general visit www. nexusphysicaltherapy.com issue page 11

12 a welcome JON SPALDING I congratulate those who completed the Jukai ceremony in January, and I hope that the following stories of my own experiences reinforce your motivation to continue the practice. I began meditating back in 2010, at a time when I felt lost, deluded, and more stressed and angry than I had ever been. My aunt, a psychotherapist and fan of Jon Kabat-Zinn, sent me some of his books on mindfulness while at the same time I took an introductory meditation class at the Rochester Zen Center, as recommended by a faculty member at the university. This kick-started my practice. It began slowly and steadily with 5, 10, and eventually 20-minute meditations on a folded blanket in my studio apartment. A year later, after moving back to Los Angeles, I tried to absorb more psychologythemed mindfulness by taking a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction class with a local psychotherapist, Howard Blumenfeld, PhD. Though I learned a lot in that course, the daily meditation CD s and weekly meetings at Howard s house weren t satisfying enough for me. I needed my practice to sink deeper; I needed total immersion. But I wasn t seeking isolation on some remote mountain, as I had found plenty of that amongst the many rocks I had climbed during my college years. What I wanted was something more. About this time, I discovered Peter and Jane s house. Though it is named to reflect its official association with Shunryu Suzuki, it might have the unofficial name Zen Home as aptly applied by one visitor. JUKAI2014 JANUARY 19 LAY PRECEPTS CEREMONY The name Zen Home appropriately describes why I came to reside there as soon as the opportunity arose. In fact, I spent attending Cal State University Northridge, largely so that I could live there and study Zen. I arrived hoping Peter and Jane could represent some kind of family role model for me; no amount of popularized mindfulness study, performed individually, could ever be as useful as a live-in situation. Although Peter and Jane would never replace my own dissatisfying upbringing, they did have a significant impact on me during my time there. For me, Peter and Jane represent peace and the possibility of acquiring internal peace through the practice of meditation. They represent the possibility of a harmonious marriage, something I had little hope of before meeting them. They represent acceptance of one s own imperfections, and by extension, the imperfections of others (especially your spouse!). Tolerating imperfection takes patience and the ability to let go of our clinging to what we think should be, and instead to accept what is. Patience, the key to relationship satisfaction not just relationship with your significant other but relationships with yourself and all other beings become easy if one practices meditation. Now, of course, I had no intention of ever joining a religious cult (as I had previously considered organized religions to be). One of the few lessons my parents taught me was that you shouldn t trust continued on page 13 page issue 1

13 a welcome / continued from page 12 authority or ever give up your autonomy, so I had no interest in changing that anytime soon. Yet I gradually gave in to Peter and Janes forceful insistence (sarcasm) to participate in preparations for the Jukai ceremony, set to occur in November of For weeks, every Saturday afternoon was spent sewing my rakusu, in addition to the morning meditation and service; I took part in services and occasionally played the mokugyo. Namu Kie Butsu for hours on end, until all of the stitches were finalized on the piece of cloth that I now use as a bib when I eat messy barbeque (I m kidding! I still have it and I even wear it when I remember to bring it with me to meditation). Luckily, only one or two rows of stitches needed to be redone on my rakusu; other sewers were less fortunate. The preparations for the Jukai were so mundane that it never occurred to me what I had gotten myself into. The ceremony itself was rather painless. I hadn t made any conscious commitment to Zen in the months leading up to it, though my interest in Zen had grown over the prior year and a half; in fact, I communicated to Peter and Jane on many occasions that I saw Zen as some sort of self-improvement activity, more like lifting weights at the gym, than a life-long involvement like Catholicism. I couldn t imagine myself being spiritual or religious, let alone committing to any sort of spirituality. Yet, on the day of the Jukai I felt as though I were getting married and it deeply affected me. Peter and Jane, with their patience and skillful means, had managed to melt some of the ice that had locked me in a spiritual prison. The metaphor of marriage is appropriate to Jukai though it is, formally at least, a marriage to the lay continued on page 14 i take refuge in the three treasures THREE HAIKU BY BETH MEGILL FOR HER JUKAI / 19 JANUARY 2014 falling acorn caught in the earth s mitt takes root broken wheelbarrow fills with rain a new bath for the birds eyes sparkle seeing the world behind closed lids as it is issue page 13

14 a welcome / continued from page 13 precepts, I like to think of it as a marriage to yourself. You re committing to caring about yourself; by choosing to follow the precepts, you are choosing to make your life better. Those of you that just finished the Jukai are in the honeymoon phase. The hard work of consistent participation in services and meditation plus sewing the rakusu is over. Now, the hard part is maintaining your practice, although it s not really that difficult. Though I wish I could report that I m a shining example of consistent meditation practice and strict adherence to the precepts, I am not; in fact I have often skip meditation and make numerous mistakes in my life. But that s okay, and it s okay if you also make mistakes and skip meditation practice. When you skip practice, and perhaps fall back into old habits, if you are lucky these instances will serve to remind you why meditation is a good thing to do. In engineering or environmental science, it is called a feedback mechanism; that is, you will become selfcorrecting. If you are paying attention to how you feel, when you slip up you ll think to yourself, Hmm. Why am I all of a sudden so drained of energy? Why do I keep procrastinating on all the amazing things I want to do with my life? Oh. Right. I stopped meditating. So you get back on the cushion and start again (which gets easier each time). Although I have been inconsistent, and though I fall back into old habits, I have had positive longterm effects from my prior consistency of practice. For example, a situation that would have previously caused me to experience anxiety might come up and, strangely, as if a meditation bell has rung, I will settle into a relaxed state automatically and the fear dissipates. Or when I am faced with several options for food to buy or friends to associate with, I more frequently pick the ones that are good for me than I would have in the past. So, new Zen family members, welcome and I hope your meditation practice continues to enjoy you for many years to come! page issue 1

15 The suffering of the world has been deep. From this suffering comes great compassion. Great compassion makes a peaceful heart. A peaceful heart makes a peaceful person. A peaceful person makes a peaceful family. A peaceful family makes a peaceful community. A peaceful community makes a peaceful nation. A peaceful nation makes a peaceful world. May all beings live in happiness and peace. Samdech Preah Maha Ghosananda Cambodian (Theravadan) monk DISTRACTED BY DISTRACTION Giving a self-righteous glare to the distracted driver texting next to me I ran the red light. Richard Weekley the pool (photo) / carol ring hana matsuri 2014 (photo) / jon fish issue page 15

16 branching streams conference SAN FRANCISCO ZEN CENTER / SEPTEMBER 12-15, 2013 HOGETSU RICK MITCHELL For a group of people trained in the practice of sitting silently, there sure was a lot of spirited verbal communication going on for three days in September at the San Francisco Zen Center. The cause of the commotion was the annual Branching Streams Conference, in which wayward monks returned to break bread together in the Root Temple of Shunryu Suzuki s Soto Zen lineage in America. Approximately 60 people participated, priests and lay practitioners, representing more than 40 different sanghas from around the country. Most of the smaller sanghas are in Central and Northern California -- from Fresno and Modesto to Marin and Mendocino. Only one, Beginner s Mind in the San Fernando Valley, is based in Southern California. Others serve such far-flung locations as Marblehead, Massachusetts; Brooklyn, New York; Chapel Hill, North Carolina; and Tampa, Florida, all of which were in the house at this conference. Texas has three thriving sanghas in Suzuki Roshi s lineage Houston, Austin and San Antonio which sent a combined six delegates to the conference. To quote from the SFZC website, Branching Streams is a network of Dharma centers in the tradition of Suzuki Roshi. Our intention is to encourage the practice of Soto Zen in inclusive and creative ways in centers large and small. The members of the group will stay in touch with each other and learn from each other s experience. Branching Streams exists to explore our interconnectedness, to nourish each other s practice, and to find new ways to benefit each other. With this conference, the dharma centers of Branching Streams may indeed have found new ways to benefit each other. Discussion topics included the fundamentals of Zen practice, training for serious practitioners, the nature and future of Western Zen centers, and serving a diverse community of practitioners. The underlying question, however, centered around the relationship between SFZC and the affiliate sanghas: How can the Mother Temple more effectively support the needs of its many and varied offspring? With its residential monastic practice at City Center, Green Gulch and Tassajara, SFZC has long served as an essential training center for priests and lay students. For those of us who live in the hinterlands, coming to Green Gulch or Tassajara for a guest student residency or practice period is like a rite of passage for serious practitioners. But of the 80 or so teachers who have received Dharma Transmission in Suzuki Roshi s lineage, it is estimated that about 70 are still living and teaching in and around the Bay Area. There are prominent exceptions, such as Taigan Dan Leighton in Chicago, Josho Pat Phelan in Chapel Hill, and Setsuan Gaelyn Godwin in Houston. Yet many other large American cities have only small, struggling lay-led sitting groups, or no sanghas at all in Suzuki Roshi s lineage. To this end, Susan O Connell, president of San Francisco Zen Center, announced to the gathering at the concluding session on Saturday afternoon that SFZC intended to allocate a portion of its budget in the coming year toward the support of travel costs for visiting teachers to the distant sanghas, and perhaps in the near-future could support short-term residencies for priests-in-training. She also suggested that SFZC could facilitate in the creation of a limited access website and/or Facebook page, for Branching Streams members to communicate with each other on routing and other issues. Steve Weintraub, a psychotherapist and longtime senior priest at SFZC who served as co-chair for the conference with Roy Wyman of Chicago s Ancient Dragon Zen Gate, indicated he is ready and willing to continued on page 17 get More Water, or get a Smaller Glass. Problem SolveD. Enjoy the Water. Enjoy the Glass. no Problem. no Empty, no Full. no Water, no Glass. What s a Problem? page issue 1

17 branching streams conference / continued from page 16 assume responsibility for coordinating the expanded outreach effort. The multiple breakout sessions were not without the occasional difference of opinion or, as the Tibetans would put it, dharma combat. But the attendees conducted themselves like, well, Zen students, mindful of Buddha s teachings of Right View, Right Intention, Right Speech, and so forth. Reflecting Branching Streams mission to stay in touch and learn from one another s experience, senior priests mixed casually and unassumingly with relatively new priests and lay practitioners, old and young. Among the distinguished elders in attendance were Peter Schneider of Beginner s Mind Zen Center in Los Angeles, Yvonne Rand of Goat in the Road Sangha in Mendocino County, Tim Buckley of Great River Zendo in Maine, and Blanche Hartmann, former abbot of the San Francisco Zen Center. Steve Stuckey, the current abbot of San Francisco Zen Center, and Ed Sattizahn, the incoming abbot of City Center, also participated fully in the conference and workshop. Sattizahn, a longtime SFZC board member, and O Connell were especially helpful to sanghas looking to increase their fundraising. Of all the Branching Streams conferences I ve been to, and I ve been to a couple before this, this has been by far the best organized and managed, said Jim Hare, a senior lay practitioner who leads the Valley Streams Sangha in Sacramento. In addition to Weintraub and Wyman, members of the planning committee included Stacy and Ramana Waymire of wedding ceremony for spencer levy & donna mendoza, 25 January 2014 (photo) / david boyns the Ashland Zen Center in Oregon, Joan Amaral of the Marblehead Zen Center in Massachusetts, and Laurel Ross of Ancient Dragon Zen Gate in Chicago. It wasn t all talk. Early mornings found the monks assembled silently in the Beginner s Mind basement zendo. Meals were served in the dining hall, lovingly prepared by City Center s resident kitchen crew. The conference concluded with a Saturday night performance of the musical play The Fourth Messenger, which asks the question What if Buddha were to come back as a woman and what if she was alive today? Informed that it was a privilege to be in the presence of so much accumulated wisdom and experience, Al Tribe of Marin City s Vimala Sangha, who began practicing with Suzuki Roshi in the late Sixties, laughingly replied, It s delusion. Of course it is. Delusions are inexhaustible. But it s inspiring to be able to share them sometimes. issue page 17

18 tentative provisional definition of engi, or paean to a pine tree CRAIG PAUP THE SENTENCE OF BEING AND THE SENTENCE OF NOTHING ARE JUST LIKE A WISTERIA VINE TWINING AROUND A TREE. IF SUDDENLY THE TREE FALLS AND THE WISTERIA VINE WITHERS, WHERE WILL THOSE SENTENCES GO? ZEN KOAN Pratityasamutpada is a Buddhist Sanskrit term usually translated as, dependent arising or co-dependent origination. In Japanese, it is called engi. Like all Buddhist terms, it has many meanings and implications depending on the specific context, and since this dependence on context is one of the meanings of engi, I will begin my explanation here. A commonplace observation that illustrates this aspect of engi is that nothing exists in a vacuum. For example, a pine tree needs light, certain temperatures, air, soil, space, and water. Otherwise, it could not exist. Further reflection tells us that each of these pine tree necessities has its own necessities, like weather systems, gravity, nuclear reactions on the sun, erosion of mountains to produce sand, bacteria to digest dead plants and animals to provide nutrients; the full list would be endless. In fact, engi implies that not one single thing could be removed from the universe without also liquidating our pine tree. The pine tree is not unique in this. The rest of the universe would have to go, too. And, as this same pine tree could be the single thing removed, we must thank the pine tree for the existence of the universe. In this light, everything from a rock to a rocket scientist is equal; every atom is an Atlas upon which rests the world. Here we run into a snag; atoms are smashed, pine trees become newsletters, and still the world turns. Buddhism s answer to this hinges on the nature of identity, or self-nature. If we analyze our pine tree, we see that needles are not a pine tree, branches are not, the trunk is not, the bark is not, the sap is not, the roots are not. If we take everything away which is not a pine tree, where is the pine tree? The abovementioned pine tree necessities are necessary conditions for the pine tree to exist, so without them, where is the pine tree? If, in the past, another pine tree had not dropped a certain pine cone, where would the pine tree be? Buddhism gives several provisional answers: the pine tree does not actually exist since it has no essential part that is pine tree and since it has no existence apart from other things which do not selfexist either. In this sense, engi is the same as emptiness, another important term. Alternately, the pine tree exists, but only by the mutual activity of every other thing. This meaning of engi also is emptiness. The Heart Sutra expresses this with the formula: Form is emptiness, emptiness is form. The Second Century C.E. Buddhist philosopher Nagarjuna said: It is because of Emptiness that all things can be established. Without Emptiness, nothing can be established. If our pine tree really did have a pine tree self-nature, then how could it change and grow, breathe in carbon dioxide and exhale oxygen, burn, rot, become printer paper, or otherwise intermingle with and support all the other things in the universe? And, if our pine tree absolutely does not exist, then the sunshine, air, water, soil, and all the other elements of this tremendous ecology combine to produce nothing. But the Heart Sutra says, the characteristic of the Emptiness of all things is not arising, not ceasing, not defiled, not pure, not increasing, not decreasing. Another view of this is that because everything connected with and necessary to the tree is really part of the tree, the tree contains the universe, much like Blake s grain of sand. looking inside (photos) / beth megill continued on page 19 page issue 1

19 definition of engi / continued from page 18 But engi does not stop there. Our tree contains not just one universe, but infinite numbers of universes. All the other things in the universe also contain the universe and our tree contains them. To illustrate this let us imagine our pine tree in heaven. Its branches reach out till they hang over the entire cosmos. At the tip of each of its countless needles is a dewdrop. Each of these dewdrops not only reflects the entire cosmos, but it also reflects every one of the other dewdrops. This is called realms embracing realms ad infinitum. Each of these views of engi emphasizes certain aspects but obscures others, and so must be considered tentative and provisional. The real meaning of engi, and of all Buddhism, is enlightenment, which is not to be found in words, but with one s own body. It is the direct seeing into reality which reveals the true nature of things. Engi points the way by revealing the importance of our relationship to everything. A MONK ASKED CHAO-CHAO TO TELL HIM THE MOST VITALLY IMPORTANT PRINCIPLE OF CH AN. THE MASTER EXCUSED HIMSELF BY SAYING, I MUST NOW GO TO MAKE WATER. THINK, EVEN SUCH A TRIFLING THING I HAVE TO DO IN PERSON! eihei dogen / from the Eihei Koroku Sun face, moon face is the way. Buddha face, ancestor face is the way. Encountering is expression expression encountering. Right here is clarity itself, the top of the head just here from the beginning. The way and the painting emerge together, realization and the morning sky are one enlightenment. Who speaks of harmonious mind? Simply say Just this! old man found excuses to sweep by the sweet blooming jasmine Richard Weekley jane hirshfield / from After: Poems (Harper-Collins, 2006) A DAY COMES A day comes when the mouth grows tired of saying I. Yet it is occupied still by a self which must speak. Which still desires, is curious. Which believes it has also a right. What to do? The tongue consults with the teeth it knows will survive both mouth and self, which grin it is their natural pose and say nothing. issue page 19

20 how i met the buddha MARK MIDDLEBROOK Do you really want to know how I met the Buddha? I mean it s really crazy when you think about all the people you know who follow the Buddha and how they got there. And then you look at my story and you ll probably say no one meets the Buddha like that, unless he was just trying to puff things up. But believe me it happened just the way I m going to tell you. I found the Buddha when I was ten years old. Yes, ten years old. You might say here in the West, you re really enlightened, oh holy one. Save the sarcasm because, I say it s no big deal. A lot of people, especially in Asia find the Buddha before they re even born! Well, I had to wait ten years and then I didn t even know what I was getting myself into. Come on, chanting Sanskrit and sitting still for hours instead of watching some really kick ass TV show or googling cat videos for hours. Those are just a few of the fun things you give up. I mean, really, when I think about it, Buddhism is about as far away as you can get from everything that made America great. Pioneers never sat around and counted their breaths unless they had gotten all tuckered out after some really heavy plowing or something. They had a nation to build and no time for sitting on their duffs hatching ridiculous thoughts like some of the doozies I ve come up with. Like why won t your monkey mind settle down after you ve given it a mental banana? Now that I think about it the only other people who sit around and count their breaths are probably trapped coal miners. Not exactly a testimonial. But I digress from my story of how I met the Buddha and I can almost hear you tapping your fingers. Except being a Buddhist you really shouldn t be getting impatient unless you want to sit and count your breaths again. OK, it was back in 1963 in Florida and it wasn t in a Chinese restaurant like you re probably thinking. I mean this was Tampa for god s sake, otherwise known as Cigar City and that meant a lot back then. Plus I don t think I had ever been to a Chinese restaurant by then. I think a lot of people didn t go to Chinese restaurants there either. In fact, I thought Chinese food came in a can that was named after some silly guy like Chung King. It wasn t something I went skipping home to, to say the least. So why go to a restaurant for that? But I also didn t meet the Buddha in some amazing Technicolor vision either, unfortunately. Nope, it s not like the fat guy walked into my life and said, Here I am, the Buddha. Let s get enlightened! No the only fat guy I looked forward to came every Christmas in a red suit and beard. And it wasn t like it happens when you meet Jesus. Which is something else altogether down in the South. To meet the Buddha you had to go to Fantasia, which sounds pretty fancy like Zanadu or something. But it was just down the street a few blocks, so no big whoopee there. Though I do remember the joy the first time my Dad took us all. No, I just couldn t wait to get my hands on those crazy little golf clubs, take my colored ball, and knock it down the green. Yes, you ve guessed it, it was at a continued on page 21 page issue 1

21 how i met the buddha / continued from page 20 mini-golf course. After about an hour of whacking your ball into this maze of traps and chicanery you ended up at the last hole. But this wasn t like any other last hole you ve ever seen at a mini-golf course. This is where I finally met the Buddha. For sitting there was an 18-foot scale model of the Nara Buddha adorned in lustrous gold and red, sitting in perfect composure. What better place to put the last hole or nirvana hole as I ve come to call it. Let s face it once you ve attained enlightenment from shooting a hole-in-one there s nothing left to do but enjoy a hot dog and go home. Unfortunately, years later after I had left to live a life, I returned to only grass growing in the field that had once held our hot afternoon Zen tournaments. I suppose after business died, the plaster began cracking, and they lost their attachment to the park, someone met the Buddha and killed the Buddha with a bulldozer. It is not difficult to forgive destruction in the past which resulted from ignorance. Today, however, we have access to more information, and it is essential that we re-examine ethically what we have inherited, what we are responsible for, and what we will pass on to coming generations. The Dalai Lama mornings mon 6:30-7:30am 40-minute zazen + service OUR REGULAR SCHEDULE evenings tues 6:30-7:30am 40-minute zazen + service 7:00-7:40pm 40-minute zazen wed 6:30-7:30am 40-minute zazen + service thurs 6:30-7:30am 40-minute zazen + service 7:00-7:40pm 40-minute zazen fri 6:30-7:30am 40-minute zazen + service 7:30-8:00pm 30-minute zazen 8:00-9:30pm book discussion sat 9:30-10:15am zazen lessons / by appointment: please call (818) , rsvp on Meetup, or us 10:30-11am 11-11:10am 11:10-11:40am 11:40am - noon noon - 12:30pm 12:30-1:30pm 30-minute zazen (sitting meditation) 10-minute kinhin (walking meditation) 30-minute zazen w/ dharma talk Service Samu (work period) Tea/Light Lunch CHECK THE CALENDAR AT OR IN OUR MEETUP GROUP FOR CHANGES/UPDATES issue page 21

22 HAIKU ODDS AND ENDS BY RICHARD WEEKLEY BODHIDHARMA has journeyed to Southern China after a long career in India as a master of the Buddha Way. His reputation precedes him, and EMPEROR WU of Liang, an especially enthusiastic and generous follower, invites him to an audience... We awake to a beautiful kack old crow is back beneath oxygen tubes her priceless smile unable to save son hanging from the jutting peak of calculus walnut vibrato crackling in a deep cistern old crow s solo what was there to know? April afternoon cat plays with tan grasshopper old crow s plaintive call followed by a wrenched silence to be continued... page issue 1