21 DAYS OF FORGIVENESS DAY 9 I FORGIVE MY CHOICES

Transcription

1 DAY 9 I FORGIVE MY CHOICES Begin Your Daily Forgiveness Process I FORGIVE MY CHOICES I am affected only by my thoughts. My thoughts can frighten me, but since they are my thoughts, I have the power to change and exchange them. It is in my own best best interest to train my mind to be affected only by the thoughts I do desire. I deliberately choose the thoughts I desire. I choose the feelings I experience. I forgive the conflicting ideas that harm me. Forgiveness Friend Story by Rev Manazerine Baptiste I love you and I forgive you for everything. On August 16, 2012, I wrote these words to my mother. For three and a half years, I had been in a process of forgiveness. Sitting on the edge of my bed halfway under the covers with tears strearning down my face, my Holy Instant arrived, and I pressed send. It was 6:20 p.m., and I was filled with a deep sense of peace and contentment. There was no longer any anger, judgment, blame, or pain. The story was no longer important to tell. This time the freedom of forgiveness was all that mattered. I wept because I remembered the time that she had come knocking, a time when I wasn't ready. What a difference a moment can make when we choose to heal. I thought about the Christmas Day when I asked my mother if she wanted to talk. I had planned it to be our first exchange about a very old hurt and deep wound. I thought that I wanted to hear her version of why she never came back for me. As a bonus, she would get to hear my version of how she broke my heart, shattered my life, and left me with no compass or understanding of life and love. We sat in a small room while the rest of the family exchanged laughter; we exchanged hearts. With each story, we wept. We wept until we could no longer speak. She "just didn't know how to love [me] and had no clue how to be a mother." In that moment, I saw her innocence as my own. In that moment, my heart opened to her love and the possibility of forgiveness. In that moment, however, it was still just a possibility. From speaking with my mother I learned that forgiveness is a process that begins with the choice to end your own suffering. It is also a moment-by-moment choice. It is also a simple choice suffering or joy, bondage or freedom. I have chosen to see things differently. Regardless of how I judged what she could have or should have done better, she did the only thing she knew how to do at the moment. The biggest choice for me was surrendering the need to understand. I will never understand. There are some things no one can ever understand. Today, I no longer view my mother through a lens of pain, nor do I see the choices she made as the source of my pain. I choose to see her as a woman, and just like me, there were days when she felt unworthy and unlovable.

2 Just like me, she made choices that she is not proud of making. Just like me, she has suffered from feelings of guilt, shame, and anger. I guess she has had her share of heartbreak and wants to experience the forgiving power of the love. And just like me, she wants to know that she is forgiven. I choose to let her know that, in my soul, all is well. I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR JUDGING MY CHOICES Today's Forgiveness Practice is about judging past choices. A choice is a focused intention that provides the creative catalyst and energetic call to all action. Without choice, there can be no movement. With choice, mental programming is rendered void if only for a moment. Unfortunately, many of the choices we make moment by moment are fueled by what we believe about the past and what we fear about the future. For this reason, no choice is a bad choice; every choice is an opportunity for learning to unfold. In today's practice you are encouraged to examine and explore those choices you have made, regardless of the results, and those that you have second-guessed. It is also an opportunity to explore the choices you are hesitant about making today.

3 JOURNAL WORK A PRAYER OF FORGIVENESS There is nothing to be healed only God to be revealed. I now ask that the peace of God be revealed in my mind. There is nothing to be healed only God to be revealed. I now ask that the love of God be revealed in my heart. There is nothing to be healed only God to be revealed. I now ask that the will of God be revealed in every choice I make. There is nothing to be healed only God to be revealed. I now ask that the presence of God be revealed in all that I do. There is nothing to be healed only God to be revealed. I now ask that the perfect peace of God be revealed in my life. Today, I ask for and open myself to experience the presence of God in my mind, my heart, and every other aspect of my life. For the blessings of this day I am so grateful. I rest in Thee. I let it be! And so it is!

4 I FORGIVE MY MIND FOR THINKING EXAMPLE I forgive my mind for thinking I should not have left my job when I did. I forgive my mind for thinking I should have chosen I forgive my mind for thinking I should not have chosen I forgive my mind for thinking that I cannot choose I forgive my mind for thinking I will not choose

5 I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR JUDGING EXAMPLE I forgive myself for judging my choice to remain single and never have children. I forgive myself for judging my choice to I forgive myself for not judging my choice to I forgive myself for judging myself when I chose to I forgive myself for judging myself when I chose not to

6 I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR BELIEVING EXAMPLE I forgive myself for believing I failed and that I cannot turn my life in a new direction. I forgive myself for choosing to believe I forgive myself for choosing not to believe I forgive myself for believing that it was wrong for me to choose I forgive myself for believing hat it was wrong for me to choose not to

7 REFLECTIONS Forgiveness is not forgetting. It is simply denying your pain the right to control your life. -Corallie Buchanan