Becoming the Stillness Between the Breaths December 10, Afternoon Session 1. Walking Practice

Transcription

1 Becoming the Stillness Between the Breaths December 10, Afternoon Session 1 Walking Practice Connect to your breath. Bring your full attention to what you re doing right now. You re breathing in and out and you re walking in rhythm with your breath. You re becoming fully interested in that; and if you re inclined to walk faster, move to the inside (of the circle). If it helps you to think in rhythm with your steps Toward the One on inhalation and exhalation, that s good if that doesn t make you think about the words and instead makes you remember, Oh yeah. Become one. Become concentrated. Become focused in this moment, this breath, this step....4 steps (breathing) in; 4 steps (breathing) out.... Just find your own presence right here in this moment. This body, the temple of God. Your heart, the altar in the temple of God. Not yours. God s in you. And as you settle into the rhythm of the breath, of the walking in the oneness of that, let the light of your heart, this light inside your heart, the soul, shine through it on the path of your life and feel that illumination. Feel all your relations here, walking with you; all beings right here; you re walking with them. The same light in all of them, in some cases more veiled, in other cases, less veiled. That s beautiful. The feeling in here is beautiful. The heart is beautiful. Let s just share this very generously with all our brothers and sisters in the world. (Murshid gathers everyone into a circle)...breathing in the oneness of this space. Extending this in all directions this awareness of oneness, of interconnected oneness in the One and Only Being. And let s recite the invocation: Toward the One, the perfection of love, harmony, and beauty, the Only Being, united with all the illuminated souls who form the embodiment of the master, the Spirit of Guidance. And those illuminated souls are male and female, just as our dialogue between Shiva and Devi proceeds in this dialectic of the interchange of the opposites of jelal and jemal. We are one with that. We want to really recognize the place of the illuminated female throughout history in all the guides that are there for us; the Goddess and certainly Mary the mother of Jesus is one to give our respect to in a deep way. Dance: Hazrat Bibi Mariam... Stay with this feeling of Mary... Tassawuri is to enter the presence of an illuminated soul and fana is to live with that as your own inner reality as you interact throughout the world. When we talk about fana-fisheikh... When Murshid Sam died earlier than people had thought he would, it was kind of up to Moineddin, me and some others to keep it going. We just looked at each other and we said, He s still here. We just moved from that place where we re one with him and things will continue and succeed and they have. That s fana-fi-sheikh. You have of that sense of the transmission of the teacher to put you into the alignment with the whole of the stream of transmission; so you can stand for that not in your ego sense.

2 That s what we look for when we say fana-fi-rassoul, effacement in the God reality that manifests in a human being, such as Moses or Mary or Mohammed and Buddha, Krishna and so on. We look at it very universally because that essence is in each one of us. And each one of us has the possibility of fully awakening and in the eternity of time will be awakened. The work of the Bodhisattvas is to continue that unfoldment and to respect even though this is a relative sphere to respect the feeling... to bring forth the beauty, to bring forth the love, to bring forth the wisdom so that people can unfold. So our work is clear: be joyful, be in the breath, be in the moment, bring what you have. But we want to be united; we want to go deep. We don t want to just do this from a conceptual point of view. And so I m emphasizing tassawuri to bring the presence forward, and but to suggest also the fana in relation to it. Let s take Mary, for example, who we were just invoking and offering our peace to. What s your relationship with Mary? What comes up for you when Mary s name comes up? I mean, is it what you learned in church? Is it what you learned at home? Is it what you feel somewhere? How do you connect to Mary? (Students respond. One student recounts how a mureed feels that Mary saved his life as an infant who wasn t expected to live.) Yeah well, what saves the life is the prayers, because it s the prayers are given with a genuineness of heart. You know, I mean what do you ever give just totally generously without wondering what you re gonna get back. You give a prayer, you know, maybe your prayer is to Santa Claus, but maybe you re saying, Use me for the purpose that Thy Wisdom chooses. I really appreciate what you said: you said you see Mary in Tara. Because you take what Shaku Soyen -that I was talking about earlier- said when he was talking here as the first Buddhist teacher in America. He said Buddhism has a God ideal in the same way as all the other religions. It s not a form; it s that formless Absolute Reality. I m just paraphrasing.... he said... It s very necessary for people to see this in the female form and so in our culture it would be Quan Yin and in your culture it would be Mary, but it s the same being. We would say Oh yeah, this being of Mary is Quan Yin functioning; and you would say Oh yeah, this being of Quan Yin is Mary. Because this is the divine feminine; this is the divine in the feminine form; because we re drawn to the feminine form, because we trust the feminine form more. We think the feminine form is more likely to embrace us rather than discipline us, let s say. So we have more trust in the good heart of it and the world needs it more and more. More and more. Not just women taking on so-called manly (Murshid gestures quotes) qualities. It has to do with the great strength and depth of the feminine. When we can draw that...because it s there. And if our prayer is genuine and if we re reaching out in a deep way, then we touch those realities, and then that s what makes who knows what Mary did? We have very, very, very, very little evidence of anything she ever did other than the few mentions that are in the gospels. You know, that Mary. But it s very necessary. You take her and you see the ideal in her. You re not trying to do, you know, an investigation; you re trying to see the essence of her and you see that

3 purity and that absoluteness and that immaculate state. That immaculate state is the state of her ego. It s not whether she had she had other children after Jesus. We know that from the gospels. But her immaculate state was that she was totally clear on the inside to conceive him. And that s what we have. But we endow it with that perfection, because we know it s there and we understand that s what Mary represents. And Mary is that because, you know, consciousness itself is a realm and those beings that are... there s a lot that s going on in that realm and I don t want to go there right now. But I m just trying to wake up this discussion in us of what it means. So if you re attracted to the presence, what you get from the presence when you think about let s say a feminine being that is attractive to you, how do you go about developing your relationship with it? You want to be able to breathe with her. You want to be able to feel into the heart. You want to be able to put on the robe of that personhood so that you can look through her eyes, you can see with her wisdom, you can feel with her heart. And you can do that because you re not arguing with her about whether you re the best one or you re not the best one or who s better and all that, because you just you go with the essence and you know the essence is truly the same if you ever get to the heart of it. There s no difference between Mary, Tara, Quan Yin. They have different attributes that you see in the stories and so on, but it s about the same process of overcoming our separation and entering into that inner bond. We re not giving up ourself in any way; we re developing ourself in a fuller way is to see that. If there s more, I d like to take it up, because I want to rattle the cage here a little bit and not just do practices and make assumptions about what we know. A student shares her story of being medically infertile and yet conceiving a child. She describes this as Mary s experience. When her daughter died having completed her purpose, as every child comes in with a purpose, she experienced what was probably her (Mary s) experience It (Mary s story) gives you a place to stand with it. Murshid: Yeah. Thank you. Another student: She s home to me. You know, home the place you go that always takes you in.... She went through the mystery schools, which Frieda Waterhouse actually had mystery schools here to show us how to get out of the way of our own thought forms, to be able to be open, not to give to give way to yourself, but to allow the Holy Presence, to just be a cup be an empty cup. Don t be so full of myself and my ideas of what I think I know and what I don t know. It s just to empty and receive. There are the Marys; there s many Marys. I ve also heard that Mary is a title like they had in the middle ages. It was like Mary Sophia or Mary Andalieb or Mary Tawwaba. It meant something that you had been through initiatory experiences, that someone recognized this in you, and you came into a family. I guess back in the day it was just a little group of people, but on the inner, it s much larger than that. I also feel that it s a Presence and the Presence is so huge It is not just confined to my body or my auric field.. 10 feet out. When that Presence rises, you can be in the Mission (district), you can be anywhere and that Holy Spirit is just bliss and your little body is just going through, doing whatever it s doing

4 Murshid: Yeah, thank you very much because that says so much, because it is big. It is strong. It is something you can fully put your faith in, something you can, you know, take into yourself as part of yourself. Like I said, when Murshid Sam died, we said, He s still here. And we just went from that place. We knew him already from the inside; there wasn t any separation. And the powers that he had we didn t have to worry about whether we could do it or not. We knew they were doable, because that was already inside of us; and you have that when you have the connection with the being, you have that. A student comments about aspects of the divine feminine and masculine, wazifahs or qualities being like Mary or Tara or Quan Yin that teach us... finding differentiations to bring us to ourselves... Murshid: I agree totally with everything you say and I think, you know, you re right on and at the same time I want to say: But you don t have to do it that way. You can undifferentiate; you can just come to that Mary that is everything, if you want to look at it that way, or the Tara that is everything, or the... It s just like working with the wazifahs; you re working with all these differentiated aspects of perfection, each one, if you trace it back you get to Allah. There s nothing but Allah; it (a wazifah) is just an activity of Allah and yet it s a way because we self-identify. One of the main things the mind does is selfidentify: I I I I I I I I yah yai yai yai! (Laughing) We do this, we claim it, it s ours, it s I I I I and so we have to look at that in relation to everything we re doing. We want to self-identify that I with Allah without it becoming the ego; then we empower our ego. That s the demonic side so to speak, is not having enough insight to distinguish between your own ego and the reality. So there s all this stuff to work through and because you re going to work through the ego stuff, you need particular qualities. Sometimes you need the breakthrough quality! You need the sword! You need the fire! I mean it s like one of these practices from the Bhairava sutras that I haven t given but is in there is I ll give it right now. But I want to just read it the way it is: Reps #28: Focus on fire rising through your form from the toes up until the body turns to ashes, but not you. Now just stand up and do that. Focus on fire, moving from your feet up through your whole body until your body is nothing but ashes and everything is gone but you. Stay focused here. Let the fire rise up through you; you re actually burning up here. (Silence) It s a strong fire. Bones, everything goes. Ashes. Only you remain...(silence)...om hari om. So just to try it because on the one hand you can say Okay, become infinite space. You are you know, you know (Murshid gestures broadly from his heart) just go there. But it s not so easy to let go into that for a lot of us, so keep burning it all up (smiling). And that s Shiva, you see. You have the different modalities or the different ways in which the different illuminated beings have functioned and Shiva is associated with the ashes, with the burning up of everything, with the Ever-Livingness in the void and with the cosmic energy of all, and with the dance of the whole universe, and with yoga systems, and all music, because everything arises from it. So it s really just another

5 synonym for God. Shiva and God, but Shiva has a persona, and Shiva has a persona in the stories. There probably never was a Shiva; it s an archetype. It was part of the muhavadevas(??) were imagined. Shiva was the one who stayed pure through the whole process and survived into the even now for example tantric Buddhism accepts it because it wasn t tainted with the story line that got involved. All I m saying is it s right there for us; it s right there in our relationship to beings, because it s so much easier to relate to a being than it is to a Thatness, an Isness, you know, a reality that is beyond our conceptual field to get to. I can understand Murshid; I lived with him. I saw him in all these situations. I understand him and I see the divine in him and the gateway to everything there; but, you know, I knew his limitations, like any other human being has limitations. So that makes also human beings and particularly females very approachable for us in the inner realm. So we can burn it up. Sam s manner was to burn! He was recognized as one who burned up ignorance in Japan when he went there. He was recognized as a fudo, as one who has the ability to - for the sake of the dharma burn up ignorance so that the only thing that s left is the dharma. It s the Buddha image that goes to the hell realms because they re not left out either, you know, because there s no fire to fear... As Murshid said If you burn yourself up that s no problem either. You just do because what you are is nothing but the dharma so you can burn up yourself in the process. Some people work with fire and other people, when I ve given fire practices, they come to me later and say Oh I had a very bad experience with fire when I was this or that and this just brings up all my fears... So that may be true for some of you about some practices you do. You don t have to do all practices. You do the ones that your soul catches onto, that the interest of your soul arises to. It may not be something you like, but it s something your soul likes and your soul rises to it rather than being bored with it. So that s one way that you can follow the spirit of guidance within you. A student described how for him Mary is the one who can embrace the worst loss, who can afford sufficient comfort to deal with unspeakable things one can t ordinarily deal with. Further, how these figures (illuminated souls and archetypes) are doorways into these primal forces of water and fire. Murshid responds: They do, especially Shiva when you get to it. What you just said reminds me of one of these things (practices)... This is from Lakshman Joo's book here [#47]: Oh gazelle-eyed Goddess Shiva s speaking to Parvati if one contemplates on all the elements constituting the body as pervaded by void, then one s contemplation will become firm. One s depth of penetration of the void will become firm. If one contemplates on all the elements and here I m taking it to mean earth, water, fire, air, and ether. So where is the earth element in your body?... Just think about it: What s earth in your body? (Brief silent contemplation) And what s water in your body? Just reflecting on the waters of your body. (Brief silent contemplation) And where s the fire in your body? (Brief silent contemplation) Find it in your emotions: where? Where in your body? And where s the air? Where s that spaciousness and freedom of movement? Influx of spirit:

6 where s the ether? Where s that mystery? That source, that space from which all the elements came. So just reflect on them for a bit and then try to do what Shiva requests that you do and that is to watch them each dissolve. (Murshid reads from the text.) Contemplate all the elements constituting the body as pervaded by void, then one s contemplation of the Void will become firm. So let s just take a few breaths or so to do this. (Brief silent contemplation) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Murshid refers to a teaching by the Dalai Lama on dying. What I learned is you watch the elements dissolve one by one. As you go, you watch: the earth goes, and then the water, and then the fire, and then you have the wind horse. At this point, that s when some transition is going to be made. And you will ride that wind or it s a -- Sokei-an Sasaki says you fold your hands, you bow, you accept death and you ride with the soul! (Murshid smiles with joy!) You let go and you ride with your true self; the Atman that is Brahman. I find this really good because you re understanding that everything comes from what. Reps I gave you this koan this morning: Beauty award from having original face " Murshid reads from Ask a Potato: Potato shows how to do it. Do nothing, nothing at all for 5 or 10 minutes a day. To loose every self-made stress of body or mind introduces the condition of true. The immense freshing of deep sleep, doubles doubles in this deep wake. Hurry worry transmute into whole being; it is like turning inside out. I really question whether a potato has all of that to say A student shared that when he attuned to Mary, he also saw Jesus and found the same qualities in both. Murshid responded: It is interesting because they don t come alone, they come in this whole family... More student sharing acknowledged by Murshid Oh God Everliving in My Breath Dance Next, Murshid leads a tassawuri Mary walk or any form of the divine feminine that a mureed is in touch with. I remember Murshid Sam giving the walk I m not even sure at this moment whether it was Mary or Quan Yin, but in which you are holding the child (arms in a holding position in front of the heart) who represents all beings; so that you have that love for all beings in the same way you have the love for the child that you re holding in this heart that is open fully and grounded in eternity.... I want everyone to get into the breath of your divine relation to the divine feminine, to Mary, to Tara, to Quan Yin to whatever that name that speaks to you, that presence that speaks to you. As Murshid demonstrates, he says, I ll do the one I learned from Murshid you re feeling your heart, this Quan Yin; you know there s no reactivity to anything, everything is welcome; you re grounded in that which is eternal and you re holding the child of all

7 beings...continuing to invite the Goddess in, seeing the Goddess in each one walking...thank you all, thank you all very much. That s the idea. You just step into it. It s like initiation; it s like Inayat Khan says it s like diving into a pool. Or it s like you have an arrow to release, but you re not sure what the target is, but you know there needs to be this release, this stepping forward. So you step forward into the concentration and it steps into you. You take whatever it is. One step towards Allah and Allah comes running towards you. That s the idea. So it s up to us; we remove the veil. We remove our resistance. We open and we take a step and we catch the inner current of it. It doesn t matter who we re working with; it s the process that we want to abet here. Murshid reads from the collection of Lakshman Joo: The Supreme Lord is omniscient, omnipotent and all pervading. I myself am he or she or that. By such a firm meditation, one becomes Shiva...In fact, Lord Shiva is all full of knowledge, full of action and all-pervading.... Concentrate on Lord Shiva for a while. Murshid comments before you do this, before you start trying to say I am He, God is omniscient, omnipotent, and all-pervading and I am He,...concentrate on Lord Shiva for a while... Then after a while, after you have fully concentrated on the awareness of Lord Shiva, put that awareness in your own consciousness. In your own individual being, think that your individual consciousness is one with that of Lord Shiva who is all knowledge, all action, all-pervading. In this way, when your mind and awareness are firmly established you become one with Shiva. So just take a minute at the beginning to just dwell in your consciousness on Shiva. Get Shiva clear in your being: all-pervading, all-powerful, but feeling it all in relation to you. Feel all that power that is embodied in Shiva...After you ve reflected on it, now you feel it, now you bring it into your own consciousness and know that you re not separate from that, but you are that. You affirm that that is your essence; that your atman is Brahma.