There, Before the Light Comes First Unitarian Church of Philadelphia Rev. Abbey Tennis December 11 th, :00 AM

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1 First Unitarian Church of Philadelphia Rev. Abbey Tennis December 11 th, :00 AM Description: In the darkest days of the year in the most grueling moments of unknowing it can be hard to believe that the light will return; hard to believe things will get better. In this Advent season where Christians around the world enter a time of holy waiting, where might we find hope? Sermon: In a 1993 interview in the literary magazine The Paris Review, renowned author Toni Morrison was asked whether she had any rituals that she engaged in during her writing process. I, at first, thought I didn t have a ritual, but then I remembered that I always get up and make a cup of coffee while it is still dark it must be dark and then I drink the coffee and watch the light come And I realized that for me this ritual comprises my preparation to enter a space that I can only call nonsecular... Writers all devise ways to approach that place where they expect to make the contact, where they become the conduit, or where they engage in this mysterious process. For me, light is the signal in the transition. It s not being in the light, it s being there before it arrives. 1 In times like this one, I often return to these words of Toni Morrison. In order to enter the magical space the holy space where she connects with the Creative force that flows through her into her writing Morrison prepares herself by making a cup of coffee and then she sits in the dark and waits for the light to come. It s not being in the light, it s being there before it arrives. In times like this one, once again, hope is hard to find where is there hope in the hatefueled politics splashed across the headlines; the bombings and poverty and mass incarceration and climate change? Where is there hope in my own life as, once again, I watch the laundry pile up, as I watch TV instead of going to the gym day after day, as I eat just a few more bites when I m already overfull, as I forget to mail the months-belated present once again? Over and over again I watch destructive patterns play out in the world and in my own life. Change is so desperately needed in our world, in our community; change is needed in my life and relationships, and I imagine some of you want change in your lives and relationships too. Or even just some relief from the sadness, frustration, and despair that comes with being human

2 Trying to find hope in the world and in life can be incredibly hard. Most of us were taught that hope is an emotion something you feel when possibilities seem bright a kind of optimism, or sometimes, perhaps a kind of naiveté. Hope is a joy that things are on the right track, that the change you yearn for is going to come to pass. But when you don t feel that hope, it becomes harder to care, harder to take action, harder to imagine that anything will ever change. When I want to feel hopeful in a world that seems to offer no hope, I think of Morrison s words. It s not being in the light, it s being there before it arrives. Maybe hope itself doesn t just appear when life circumstances start going well maybe that magical time only comes when I prepare myself with my spiritual cup of coffee and go and sit in the dark, waiting for the light to come to me. Hoping for hope to arrive. ~~~ Today begins the third week of the season of Advent for western Christians. Advent, or adventus, means arrival or coming. During the season of Advent, Christians look towards the arrival of the messiah celebrating both the birth of Jesus of Nazareth, and the awaiting of the messiah s return. Advent is a liturgical season of anticipation, yearning; a season of spiritual preparation and waiting; a season of hope for liberation and redemption. Advent, to me, feels like the Christian liturgical season equivalent of Toni Morrison s writing routine. Instead of just celebrating Christmas on December 25 th each year, instead of showing up when the light is already there, Christians take 4 weeks of spiritual preparation making their cup of coffee and sitting in the dark, as it were to be present to themselves in that time before the light comes; that time before hope arrives in the flesh, that time before the magic. The yearning of Advent is expressed in the classic advent carol O Come, O Come, Immanuel. In Hebrew, Immanual means God with us. O Come, O Come, Immanual O Come, Thou Dayspring, O Come Thou Wisdom, Oh Come Desire of nations Oh Come God who will dwell with us. Rejoice, for Immanual the holy among us will come. Advent is the time of hoping for Hope to arrive. ~~~ 2

3 Several years ago, a friend I ll call Pat asked if I could come pick her up from the hospital. Pat s life had been spiraling into chaos a new demanding job where she was working inhumanly long hours, a relationship that had become unhealthy, if not abusive, the unresolved trauma from her childhood playing itself out in her life through a variety of addictive behaviors. Pat had accidentally overdosed on a new medication she was taking to try to help manage her life and stress, and after sleeping a full day and night, she had taken herself into the mental health crisis clinic to be evaluated. Thankfully, her physical health was not seriously harmed by the overdose, but it was the emotional rock bottom she seemed to need before she was truly able to admit that she was not ok, and that she needed serious help. Soon after that day, Pat found a 12-step program and began the process of recovery. She tells me it felt like a last resort to her the one option left that might bring change in her life. Otherwise, she knew her addictions, and the stress and chaos they created in her life would eventually kill her. Pat entered her Program not with hope, but with the deep prayer that she would, one day, feel hope again. This is a common story for many people who enter 12-step programs, as those of you who participate in them know. Life has become so unmanageable that they must finally admit that they need help. And though life may feel hopeless, and continue to feel hopeless for some time, they still choose hope they choose to show up, again and again, not necessarily believing they can get better, but praying that someday hope will return. They make a cup of coffee and sit in the dark. In the past, when I have felt at my most hopeless, I asked another friend where she finds hope. I don t feel hope all the time, she told me but I choose hope. I practice hope as a way of life. Vaclav Havel, writer, philosopher, and former president of Czechoslovakia and the Czech Republic, describes hope as an orientation of the spirit, an orientation of the heart. Hope, in this deep and powerful sense, is not the same as joy that things are going well, or willingness to invest in enterprises that are obviously headed for early success, but rather, [hope is] an ability to work for something because it is good, not just because it stands a chance to succeed Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. 2 2 The Politics of Hope, from Vaclav Havel : Disturbing the Peace

4 When my friend doesn t have any faith that things will meaningfully change that things will turn out well she still chooses to practice hope; working for something because it is good, not because it stands a chance to succeed. It is precisely when we feel hopeless that choosing to practice hope is most important. Artist, author, and United Methodist minister Jan Richardson writes: [There is] nothing that cries out more for a blessing than when a world is falling apart. This blessing will not fix you will not mend you will not give you false comfort; it will not talk to you about one door opening when another one closes. It will simply sit itself beside you among the shards and gently turn your face toward the direction from which the light will come, gathering itself about you as the world begins again. 3 There is nothing that cries out more for a blessing than when a world is falling apart. When it feels like the world is ending, when it feels like there is no hope left; this is exactly the time when we must choose to bless ourselves by practice hope. Hope will not fix the world, it will not even necessarily make us feel better. Hope simply sits beside us amongst 3 Blessing When the World is Ending, by Jan Richardson 4

5 the shards of the shattered world and gently turns our faces toward the direction from which the light will come. When Pat felt her world might be ending because of her addictions and the chaos they rained down, she chose hope praying for hope to return anyway. Hope didn t fix her, or make her feel better. But as she entered those 12 step meetings over and over and over again, she found that hope in the form of other addicts in recovery would come and sit beside her with a cup of coffee, and tell their stories of recovery - gently turn her face toward the direction from which the light would, one day, come. ~~~ In two weeks, the holiday known to Jews around the world as Hanukkah will begin. As the sun goes down around the world on December 24 th of our calendar, millions of Jews will prepare to light the first candle of the menorah in their homes. Many of you know the story - as the Hellenistic forces had been driven from the Holy Temple, Hebrew scriptures tell us that the Maccabees discovered that almost all of their ritual olive oil had been destroyed. Only one container that was still sealed by the High Priest remained, though it would take 8 days to have new oil pressed and made ready for use. The Maccabees burned the oil, and found that it lasted the full 8 days until new oil was ready. We often think of Hanukkah as a holiday celebrating light; celebrating miracles; celebrating victory over oppression, but, as Rabbi David Wolpe, Author and Rabbi of Sinai Temple in Los Angeles reminds us, the actual meaning of the Hebrew word Hanukkah is Rededication. He writes, Hanukkah is about something more important than dedication [it is about] rededication. In our lives, what we do once is hardly as important as what we do over and over again the greatest miracle [in the Hanukkah story] was the [people s] resolution to rededicate. 4 When the world is falling apart, as it does over and over throughout our lives, what is most important is not our one-time dedication, but our rededication to the practice of hope, to the willingness to work for something because it is good, rather than because we think it will succeed. Changing the patterns of destruction in our lives and our world does not take dedication it takes rededication. It takes us each showing up again and again, each choosing to practice hope when we feel hopeless, each willing to work for that in which we believe

6 This is how Pat was able to enter recovery and remains healthy to this day. She didn t just go to one 12-step meeting. She dedicated herself to one meeting, then rededicated herself to another, then rededicated herself to another until she began to find a new sense of stability; a new understanding of her own interconnectedness with the world, a new understanding of her own resiliency. On that first day after their holy temple was destroyed, though they could not have felt hopeful, the beleaguered Jews chose to practice hope anyway they lit the Menorah, knowing they didn t have enough oil. Lighting the menorah was the good thing to do, even though they didn t expect the light to last the 8 days they needed to prepare new oil. Rabbi Wolpe writes God's miracle [- making the oil last for 8 days-] came later. The miracle of the Jewish people, of faith, [of choosing hope,] came first. ~~~ This morning, I awoke, made myself a cup of coffee, and went to sit down and drink it in the dark next to my window. Lit only by my small flaming chalice and the dim glow of my laptop screen, I read this morning s headlines: killled, 136 wounded in twin bombings in Istanbul 2. Russian Hackers Acted to Aid Trump in Election, US Says 3. Bombing at Egypt s Main Coptic Christian Cathedral kills Nigerian Church Collapses, killing at least 160 worshippers 5. Trump expected to pick ExxonMobil chief Rex Tillerson as his secretary of state Reading that last article, I learned that the pick of chief executive of ExxonMobil, Tillerson, is already facing criticism even by Republicans for his ties to Russian President Vladimir Putin. Another headline read Donald Trump s Open Corruption: the president-elect doesn t care that you know he s crooked. As I typed those words, my cat Hildegard hopped up on my lap and lay his pudgy body across my left arm, making it hard to continue typing. Eyes sleepily half-shut, he looked up at me. I paused typing and stroked his soft purring head. Bombings. Corruption. Houses of worship meant to give solace collapsing, or exploding, around those who went there seeking comfort. Political news that fills me with outrage every time I see another cabinet pick, another plan to unravel the public safety net for the most vulnerable among us, another promise to cause greater devastation to our wounded planet. Sipping my coffee as the sky began to turn a luminous slate grey-blue, I thought: 6

7 the guns of evil bombs of evil politics of evil - have rained destruction and today I will greet strangers at our church s door with gentle smiles for someone must There is nothing that cries out more for [hope] than when a world is falling apart. This [hope] will not fix me, nor give me false comfort; it will not talk to me about one door opening when another one closes Hildegard shifted on my lap and nuzzled my hand. [Hope] will simply sit itself beside me among the shards and gently turn my face toward the direction from which the light will come, gathering itself about me as the world begins again 5 The sky a paler pre-dawn smoky blue now, Hildegard rolled over on his back, presenting his soft tuxedo belly for me to rub. Toni Morrison said that we all devise ways to approach that magic place that place where we make contact, become a conduit for something larger, where we engage in a mysterious process of transformation. For her, light is the signal in the transition. It s not being in the light, it s being there before it arrives. When hope is hard to find, when the light has not yet arrived, we must choose hope. We must practice hope. We must orient our hearts to hope. Like Christians awaiting liberation and redemption, like a suffering addict finally walking into a meeting, like my colleague who greeted strangers at the door of her San Bernadino County church with a gentle smile following a rain of destruction, We must choose hope. We must, because someone must. God weeps as I must weep still singing of the blessed gifts of grace and joy for someone must someone must someone surely must 5 Blessing When the World is Ending, by Jan Richardson 7

8 My friends, When you find yourself in the dark, unconvinced that the light will ever return, make a cup of coffee. Sit down facing the east. Choose to practice hope and you will soon find Hope sitting beside you, or if your Hope comes in the furry variety, you may find Hope sitting on your lap. Watch as you sip your coffee and the light will always come. Amen, Ashe, and Blessed Be. 8

St. Paul s Congregational Church December 23, 2018, Advent 4C Micah 5: 2 5a; Luke 1: The Rev. Cynthia F. Reynolds

1 St. Paul s Congregational Church December 23, 2018, Advent 4C Micah 5: 2 5a; Luke 1: 39-45 The Rev. Cynthia F. Reynolds Let us pray: may the words of my mouth and the meditations of our hearts be acceptable