PRIMER Why should I give a khutbah on making the masjid more

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2 PRIMER Why should I give a khutbah on making the masjid more inclusive to women? Research shows that women s issues are among the most pressing when it comes to American Muslims and their mosque communities. The masjid, which functions as a religious center, but also as a center for civic participation and community development, should be accessible to all Muslims. Mosques are important because they are linked to more volunteerism, better mental health, and higher civic engagement. However, these important spaces sometimes alienate groups of people, including young people, women, and converts. A recent study by the Institute for Social Policy and Understanding shows that, on average, women and men attend the mosque at equal rates. What is more, among young Muslims between the ages of 18-29, 75% of women said religion is central to their lives, compared to 53% of men. At the same time, Muslim women report feeling unwelcome at mosques due to a lack of relevant programming, lack of women leadership, and inadequate physical spaces. Clearly, Muslim women are a large and important segment of the Muslim community whose needs should be addressed in the mosque. From an Islamic perspective, the Prophet ﷺ exemplified the treatment and inclusion toward women in community spaces like the masjid. In one hadith, the Prophet ﷺ said, Do not prevent the female slaves of Allah from the houses of Allah. This hadith can be understood to mean that our communities should not present obstacles to women being present and active in the mosque. Through countless examples of women leaders in Islamic history, it is clear that our tradition is one that values Muslim women and their contributions, and nurtures them to grow into leaders. Framing the topic The responsibility to uphold the rights of men and women, the equal status of genders, and the command for believers men and women to support one another: The believing men and believing women are guardians of one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and establish prayer and give zakah and obey Allah and His Messenger. Those Allah will 1

3 have mercy upon them. Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise. [Qur an 9:71] Whoever does righteousness, whether male or female, while a believer We will surely cause him to live a good life, and We will surely give them their reward [in the Hereafter] according to the best of what they used to do. [Quran 16: 97] The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ changed the status of women: Through the impact of the Prophet Muhammad s ﷺ message, highly problematic cultural attitudes towards women that were widespread during the time later referred to as the Age of Ignorance saw an extraordinary transformation. Islam s acknowledgment of women s equity in the societal, familial, and spiritual spheres was unprecedented at its time, and its demarcation of rights and obligations between men and women remains unmatched to this day. For example, some of the earliest verses revealed in the Qur an prohibited customs like female infanticide. Umar ibn al-khattab (ra) became the second Caliph of Islam and one of the most influential leaders in recorded history. His own view of women changed significantly under the Prophet s ﷺ gentle guidance after he embraced Islam. As he testifies in his own words: In Jâhiliyya (the Age of Ignorance), we used to have no regard for women whatsoever. But when Islam came and Allah made mention of them, this caused us to realize that they have rights upon us To truly fulfill Islam s mandate of justice and mercy, Umar s realization of the proper status of women must continuously be revived in the hearts of all Muslims, at all places and times. The current state of Muslim American women after the most recent presidential election: Nearly one in five (19%) Muslim women say they have stress and anxiety enough to believe they need the help of a mental health professional as a result of the 2016 elections, compared with 9% of Muslim men. Muslim women are more likely than Muslim men to report experiencing religious discrimination in the last year (68% vs. 55%). Muslim women are more likely than Muslim men to fear for their safety from white supremacist groups (47% vs. 31%). Despite this deficit in security and greater likelihood for experienced religious-based discrimination, Muslim women are no more likely than Muslim men to change their appearance to be less identifiable as a Muslim (16% vs. 15%). Instead of hiding, Muslim women responded to a Trump win with greater giving. Nearly 30% of Muslim women vs. 19% of Muslim men have increased their donations to an organization associated with their faith community. 2

4 The danger of driving people away from the masjid and the importance of creating a welcoming space: Abu Mas ud al-ansari reports that a man came to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and said, I do in fact delay coming to the morning prayer because of so-and-so, due to how long he makes [us stand]. I never saw the Prophet ﷺ angrier in his admonition than he was that day; he said, O people, among you are those who chase people away! Whoever of you leads the people, let them be brief, for behind him is the elderly, the weak, and those pressed by need. (Sahih al-bukhari and Sahih Muslim),ﷺ Regarding the history of the Ka'bah, 'Aisha (ra) asked the Prophet "What about the door? Why did they make it so high?" He said, "Your people ( Quraysh ) did that so they could let in whomever they wanted and keep out whomever they wanted. If it were not for the fact that your people are still new [to Islam] and too recently departed from jahiliyya, I would have [demolished the Ka'bah] and incorporated the [far] wall into the House, and would bring the door down to ground level." (Sahih Muslim) Even the Prophet ﷺ himself was commanded to consult the companions in matters, not because he needed to, but in order to include them in decision-making processes and the development of the community. The Prophet s example teaches us to take seriously the opinions and concerns of those in the congregation. So by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah. Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him]. [3:159] How can we make our mosques more inclusive towards women? Rooted in our religion, there are ways to make the masjid more welcoming and inclusive for women, including: relevant programming, caring and accessible leadership, and adequate physical space. All of these contribute to an overall community culture that sees women as an integral part of the masjid. 1. Women s leadership and relevant programming a. When women are included in the decision-making and programming body of the masjid, it is more likely that women s concerns will be heard and addressed. Also, when women see themselves reflected in masjid leadership, they will feel more welcome and valued in the masjid. In 3

5 one testimonial, a Muslim woman said, When I see women on the board, I automatically feel the mosque is more open to women. b. Examples from the Sunnah: i. In the earliest days of Islam, women would feel free to speak up on their own behalf, and their voices would be heard. One chapter of the Qur an begins by mentioning the plaintive,ﷺ entreaties of Khuwayla bint Tha labah to the Prophet testifying: Surely, Allah has heard the speech of the woman who argues with you [O Muhammad] concerning her husband and directing her complaint to Allah. And Allah hears your dialogue; indeed, Allah is Hearing and Seeing [Qur an 58:1]. ii. Not only was the Prophet ﷺ sensitive to women s troubles, but he also took heed of their advice. Following the Truce of Hudaybiya, a number of Muslims felt chagrined at some of the conditions of the truce, which they perceived as unfair. When the Prophet ﷺ ordered them to sacrifice the animals they had brought for that purpose and to shave their heads, they initially did not heed his order, no matter what he told them. Upon noting the seriousness of the situation, Um Salamah, one of his venerable wives, advised the Prophet ﷺ not to say anything more, but rather to simply to shave his own head and offer his own sacrifice. As she had predicted, the Companions quickly fell in line and followed suit, and any escalation was averted due to her wise counsel. iii. This respect and acknowledgment of women was something that the Prophet ﷺ taught the rest of his companions as well. Coming back to Umar ibn al-khattab s shifting perspective: during his caliphate, he appointed two different women, Samra b. Nuhayk and Shifa b. Abdullah, to fulfill the role of market supervisors. They would patrol the markets to ensure that fair business practices were being carried out, and proper Islamic behavior was maintained. 2. Caring and Accessible Leadership a. When a male scholar comes to visit, how often do men in the community have special and informal access to him? With our local community imams, how much easier is it for brothers to approach an Imam who knows their name and has an informal relationship with them? Creating spaces and opportunities for women to have access to scholars and imams within the boundaries of what is deemed appropriate by the Shari ah is important in their spiritual growth. b. Examples from the Sunnah: 4

6 i. The role of women in propagating Islam has always been an integral part of the faith. The Prophet ﷺ himself exemplified this in his encouraging attitude towards women s learning. One companion recounts an instance in which a woman came to the Prophet,ﷺ saying: O Messenger of Allah, the men went away with [the privilege of] hearing from you, so dedicate for us one of your days so that we may come to you, and you can teach us from what Allah taught you. The Prophet ﷺ said, Gather [the women] on such-and-such day in such-and-such place. So they gathered, and he came to them, and taught them of what Allah taught him. His consideration of women s desire to learn, specifically making the effort to welcome women into a safe and private group environment where they could ask questions at their ease, is especially noteworthy, considering the current context in which women s access to Muslim scholars is, for the most part, limited. ii. Women would approach the Prophet (ﷺ) at home, to ask him questions that required privacy once on menstrual bleeding, once on domestic violence, once on the stinginess of the husband, etc. iii. There is a story from the time of Umar ibn al-khattab that he had intended to try to limit the excesses concerning the dower that is paid to women upon marriage. The story states that after Umar ibn al-khattab had made such a plea from the minbar and stated that if anyone pays more as dower than what the Prophet (peace be upon him) used to pay, he would put that excess amount in the Public Treasury. A woman from the Quraish came to him and said, O commander of the Faithful, does the Book of Allah have more right to be followed or your statement? He said, The Book of Allah. So she then told him, You have just prohibited the people from giving an excessive amount for dower but Allah has stated in His Book, And if you have given them a great amount of gold as dower, take not the least bit of it back.' [4:20] And then Umar said two or three times, The Woman is correct and Umar is mistaken. Then he got back on the minbar and said, O people, I used to forbid you from being excessive with respect to the dower of women. Verily a man may do whatever he sees fit with his wealth. 3. Physical Space a. Oftentimes, the masjid is unwelcoming to women simply because it does not provide them with an adequate space to pray. Some mosques have no women s section, while others have sections that are not clean, 5

7 large, or accessible enough. In one testimonial, a Muslim woman said, I hate the fact that I can t see the speaker from the balcony. b. Examples from the Sunnah: i. The masjid of Prophet Muhammad and the masjids during the time of the Four Rightly-Guided Caliphs did not have a barrier separating men and women. Men prayed in the front lines, children in the middle, and women behind the children. All the schools of Islamic Law, Sunni and Shi ah, agree on this point. So why should we adopt any other ideal? When women are in the main musalla, they are naturally more attentive, more engaged and thus better able to fulfill their function as awliya supporters and contributors to establishing the Muslim community. 1 ii. The active presence of women in the masjid during the time of the Prophet Muhammad is shown in numerous hadith. Hadith confirm that in the Prophet s masjid women prayed salah regularly, attended Jum ah Prayer, made optional prayer (nawafil), and met in the masjid. The Prophet demonstrated the welcoming nature of his masjid, for example, by shortening 2 prayers when children started crying. Additional Resources 1. d-for-women-gender-equity-the-advent-of-islam/ 2. Diwan, Jamal. Gems from the Messenger of Allah. Virtual Mosque. September h ttp:// prophet-muhammad/gems-from-the-messenger-of-allah 3. Gallup. Muslim Americans: Faith, Freedom and the Future. August Institute for Social Policy and Understanding (ISPU). Reimagining Muslim Spaces: Creating a Welcoming, Inclusive, Dynamic Mosque. February Institute for Social Policy and Understanding (ISPU). American Muslim Poll: Participation, Priorities and Facing Prejudice in the 2016 Elections. March Pew Research Center. Muslim Americans: No Signs of Growth in Alienation or Support for Extremism. August 30, Pew Research Center. America s Changing Religious Landscape. May 12,

8 8. Pew Research Center. Millennials: A Portrait of a Generation. February Riyad us-saliheen Unmosqued: A Documentary Film about Immigrant Founded Mosques in America

9 KHUTBAH Women s Inclusivity And who are more unjust than those who prevent the name of Allah from being mentioned in His mosques? [al-baqarah 2: 114] و م ن أ ظ ل م م من من ع م س اج د ا الله أ ن ی ذ ك ر ف یه ا اس م ه (ﷺ) Abu Mas ud al-ansari (ra) reports that a man came to the Messenger of Allah and said, I do in fact delay coming to the morning prayer because of so-and-so, due to how long he makes [us stand]. I never saw the Prophet (ﷺ) angrier in his admonition than he was that day; he said, O people, among you are those who chase people away! Whoever of you leads the people, let them be brief, for behind him is the elderly, the weak, and those pressed by need. (Sahih al-bukhari and Sahih Muslim) ع ن أ ب ي م س ع ود ر ض ي ا الله ع ن ه ق ال : أ ت ى ر ج ل الن ب ي ص لى االله ع ل ی ه و س لم ف ق ال : إ ن ي لا ت ا خر ع ن ص لا ة الغ د اة م ن أ ج ل ف لا ن م ما ی ط یل ب ن ا ق ال : ف م ا ر أ ی ت ر س ول ا الله ص لى االله ع ل ی ه و س لم ق ط أ ش د غ ض ب ا ف ي م و ع ظ ة م ن ه ی و م ي ذ ق ال : ف ق ال : «ی ا أ ی ه ا الن اس إ ن م ن ك م م ن ف ر ین ف ا ی ك م م ا ص لى ب الن اس ف ل ی ت ج وز ف ا ن ف یه م الم ر یض و الك ب یر و ذ ا الح اج ة «(رواه البخاري مسلم) Jabir b. Abdillah (ra) reports that Mu adh b. Jabal (ra) was once leading his people in prayer, and recited Surat al-baqarah. A man exited the prayer, offered a lighter prayer on his own, then left. When news of this reached Mu adh, he accused him of being a hypocrite. When the words of Mu adh reached this man, he came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and said, O Messenger of Allah, we are a people that toil with our hands (hard labor) and water our camels. Last night, Mu adh was reciting Surat al-baqarah as he led us in prayer. I left and prayed separately, and for that he called me a hypocrite! Upon hearing this, the Prophet (ﷺ) summoned Mu adh and said to him three times over, O Mu adh, are you of those who put people through fitnah (trials)?! He (ﷺ) then instructed him to recite the likes of Surat ash-shams and Surat al-a la. (Sahih al-bukhari & Sahih Muslim) عن ج اب ر ب ن ع ب د ا الله أ ن م ع اذ ب ن ج ب ل ر ض ي ا الله ع ن ه ك ان ی ص لي م ع الن ب ي ص لى ا الله ع ل ی ه و س لم ث م ی ا ت ي ق و م ه ف ی ص لي ب ه م ال صلا ة ف ق ر أ ب ه م ال ب ق ر ة ق ال ف ت ج وز ر ج ل ف ص لى ص لا ة خ ف یف ة ف ب ل غ ذ ل ك م ع اذ ا ف ق ال إ ن ه م ن اف ق ف ب ل غ ذ ل ك ال رج ل ف ا ت ى الن ب ي ص لى ا الله ع ل ی ه و س لم ف ق ال ی ا ر س ول ا الله إ ن ا ق و م ن ع م ل ب ا ی د ین ا و ن س ق ي ب ن و اض ح ن ا و إ ن م ع اذ ا ص لى ب ن ا ال ب ار ح ة ف ق ر أ ال ب ق ر ة ف ت ج وز ت ف ز ع م أ ن ي م ن اف ق ف ق ال الن ب ي ص لى ا الله ع ل ی ه و س لم ی ا م ع اذ أ ف ت ان أ ن ت ث لا ث ا اق ر أ و ال شم س و ض ح اه ا و س ب ح اس م ر ب ك الا ع ل ى و ن ح و ه ا If some of the great Sahaba fell into this oversight, is it anything short of arrogant for us to dismiss the possibility that we may chase people from Allah, His house, His religion?

10 A recent ISPU study has polled and documented what many of us already know; too many of our mosques are particularly unwelcoming to women. Some mosques are guilty of allocating to sisters the smelly basement or tight boiler-room, others fail to offer programs that serve them, and others are plagued with belligerent attendees that harshly receive them. But the dilemma is one and the same. Our Prophet (ﷺ) said, Do not prevent the female slaves of Allah from the houses of Allah. (al-bukhari & Muslim) This is not just about the husband keeping her in it s also about the masjid keeping her out. Keeping her out doesn t just happen via a sign or security guard, but by sending clear messages that this is not a place for people like you. And when mosques are the clearest tangible symbol of Islam, especially in non-muslim majority societies, this place is not for you = this religion is not for you. One ISPU response was: A sister in her twenties was recently married and had a two-month old baby, and had not met anyone in the community yet. One Sunday, she and her husband pulled into the mosque parking lot for Asr. The baby was asleep in her car-seat, and so the parents just carried it into the mosque. There were only a few cars in the parking lot, but both were excited at the prospect of meeting some of the members of their new community. Passing by the bookstore on route to the women s entrance of the mussalla, this sister was met by an older woman who immediately frowned and said, We don t allow children in the mussalla. The sister was sort of taken aback. She s sleeping... If she cries I can definitely take her out of the prayer area. The older woman just sort of grunted. You know, a woman s prayer is better in the home than in the mosque! The sister felt her eyes fill up with tears. This was not how she was expecting to be welcomed to her new mosque. --- Feeling unwelcome does not just cause our sisters emotional pain. It many times gets in the way of their most pressing religious needs which they will not find outside. Sisters need inspiration, education, counsel, social support, just as much as men do if not more. Consider this: When a scholar comes to visit, how often do the men in the community have special and informal access to him? On Eid prayers, the Prophet (ﷺ) would walk over to the women with Bilal (ra) and address them nearby, and they would ask him questions. With our local community imams, how much easier is it for brothers to approach an Imam who knows their name and has an informal relationship 2

11 with them? Women would approach the Prophet (ﷺ) at home, to ask him questions that required privacy once on menstrual bleeding, once on domestic violence, once on the stinginess of the husband, etc. Approachability requires familiarity trust. Of course, this need not conflict with the firm safeguards against khalwa (even with an Imam): a woman is allowed the privacy to explain herself freely, without being locked behind closed doors with a man. Privacy without seclusion is possible by being within visibility, and out of earshot. The Prophet (ﷺ) allocated a day to address women s inquiries and particular needs. Abu Sa id al-khudri (ra) reports: The women said to the Prophet,(ﷺ) The men have beaten us to you, so specialize for us a day with you. He promised them a day, and met them in it, wherein he exhorted and instructed them. Of what he said to them was, There is no woman that out-survives three of her children, except that they will be a barrier between her and the Fire. A woman said, And [even] two [children]? He said, And [even] two. (Sahih al-bukhari) ي ق ال ت الن س اء ل لن ب ي ص لى االله ع ل ی ه و س لم : غ ل ب ن ا ع ل ی ك ال رج ال ف اج ع ل ل ن ا ی و م ا م ن ن ف س ك ف و ع د ه ن ی و م ا ل ق ی ه ن ف یه ع ن أ ب ي س ع ید الخ د ر ف و ع ظ ه ن و أ م ر ه ن ف ك ان ف یم ا ق ال ل ه ن: «م ا م ن ك ن ام ر أ ة ت ق دم ث لا ث ة م ن و ل د ه ا إ لا ك ان ل ه ا ح ج اب ا م ن الن ار «ف ق ال ت ام ر أ ة : و اث ن ت ی ن ف ق ال : «و اث ن ت ی ن «1) This is how the Prophet (ﷺ) made arrangements to tend to women s needs. 2) This is how he knew to share a word about patience over loss; privy to its relevance. This starts with them feeling welcome to request and extend feedback. But when there is: (1) a lack of women or a lack of women s input in mosque leadership, when (2) programming doesn't always reflect the needs of women congregants, when (3) some physical prayer spaces in mosques are not planned adequately for women attendees (whether mothers or not), it should not surprise us that ISPU polls report women feeling particularly unwelcome at the mosque. Again, this eventually translates for many into gravitating away from Islam. --- I am certainly against oversimplifying the reasons behind this happening. The causes for this problem cannot be reduced to 99% of Imams and masjid 3

12 administrations hate women nor to all aunties are intolerant of children in masajid. So what are some major reasons behind this? 1) Limited Resources. Us being 1st and 2nd generation populations in America, we felt forced to build a facility for the most attended hour ( jumu ah ) which is not farḍ on women. Mosques being jumu ah junctions cannot continue. The transition to multipurpose Islamic centers must happen before a generation gap that cannot be recovered from. (Churches are in rapid decline because 50+% of attendees are elderly) 2) Masjid Culture. Some of us Muslims have this mental image of the masjid as an extremely quiet place where nobody smiled, only religion was spoken about, children were not present, women hardly attended, and people dispersed right after prayer. This causes unnecessary restrictions that make it unwelcoming even for men, not just women and children. Ill informed + ungentle people policing the audience must stop. Touring the masjid of the Prophet (ﷺ) during his time may help us rid ourselves of this false conviction. He (ﷺ) did emphasize that nothing should compromise the primary function of the masjid, but people sometimes ate there, kids climbed on his back while in sujūd, and some women prayed Ishā / Fajr there. Houses better for them must be understood in light of Mothers of Believers praying in the masjid. They would not do what is inferior; this must mean do not chase the reward at the expense of your family duties, nor worry about missing it! Some past scholars cited Aisha (ra) & Umar (ra) on preventing women from mosques when corruption increases & fitnah is feared. Forget that the majority of fuqahā did not accept this position. Is the greater fitnah the coexistence of men/women in masjid, or the absence of being informed by Islam via the masjid on the immodesty on their screens and the anti-islamic worldview in their schools? The whole point of this fatwa was to shelter society from its increasingly prevailing ills, not to shelter them from the cure. Regarding the history of the Ka bah, Aisha (ra) asked the Prophet,(ﷺ) What about the door? Why did they make it so high? He said, Your people (Quraysh) did that so they could let in whomever they wanted and keep out whomever they wanted. If it were not for the fact that your people are still new [to Islam] and too 4

13 recently departed from jāhiliyya, I would have [demolished the Ka bah] and incorporate the [far] wall into the House, and would bring the door down to ground level. (Sahih Muslim) Is there a more powerful message than this? The Prophet (ﷺ) was willing to tear down the Ka bah and rebuild it in a way that was more welcoming and inclusive. To him, such drastic measures were warranted to undo Quraysh s selectively permitting who enters God s house. --- Qurra b. Eyās al-muzani (ra) reports that the Prophet (ﷺ) once asked a man whose son always accompanied him [to the masjid], Do you love him? He said, May Allah love you as [much as] I love him. Then the Prophet (ﷺ) noticed the man was no longer around, so they told him, His son died. So the Prophet (ﷺ) went to him and said, Does it not please you that you do not approach any door of Paradise except that he beats you to it and opens it for you? (Ahmad & an-nasa i) ح دث ن ا أ ب و إ ی اس و ه و م ع او ی ة ب ن ق رة ع ن أ ب یه ر ض ي ا الله ع ن ه أ ن ر ج لا أ ت ى الن ب ي ص لى االله ع ل ی ه و س لم و م ع ه اب ن ل ه ف ق ال ل ه : «أ ت ح ب ه» ف ق ال : أ ح ب ك ا الله ك م ا أ ح ب ه ف م ات ف ف ق د ه ف س ا ل ع ن ه ف ق ال : «م ا ی س رك أ ن لا ت ا ت ي ب اب ا م ن أ ب و اب ال ج ن ة إ لا و ج د ت ه ع ن د ه ی س ع ى ی ف ت ح ل ك» 1) This man left the masjid, and he was noticed. 2) This man was not just invited back, he was sought out and located. 3) This man could have been on the brink of his faith, like so many of us are today, and was recovered in time. We cannot afford to underestimate the importance of dignified accommodations, relevant programming, and even a warm welcoming committee for newcomers especially sisters. And we all need to rehearse the Sunnah of being inclusive, approachable, and sensitive. Women are a vital part of any community. They are half of society and give birth to the other half. In the Prophet s times, they were nurtured into fulfilling their roles, trusted with some of the most sensitive sectors of the community, like conveying the sacred hadith(s) and rearing the future generations of the Ummah. We can bring that back, by reinstating the Prophet s (ﷺ) guidance on the matter. Otherwise, they will either walk away, or if they survive our negligence as an unmosqued Muslim, their children definitely will not. The masjid is the ark of Noah; only those who ride are saved. And you will remember what I [now] say to you, and I entrust my affair to Allah. Indeed, Allah is Seeing of [His] servants. [Ghafir 40: 44] ف س ت ذ ك ر ون م ا أ ق ول ل ك م و أ ف وض أ م ر ي إ ل ى ا الله إ ن ا الله ب ص یر ب ال ع ب اد 5