THE SECOND WORLD WAR (IN CARTOONS)

Transcription

1 HNRS 301 WORLD WAR II COMEDY PROF. IAN ABRAMS READING #1 THE SECOND WORLD WAR (IN CARTOONS) (revised 3/3/11) 3:43 (REVISED ) (REVISED ) `

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3 UN UNLOOKED-FOR EVENT OF THE LITERARY SEASON The Messrs. Houghton and Mifflin tender a tea to one of their authors

4 I think I may say, without fear of contradiction

5 THE HIGH COMMAND AWAITS THE ORDER OF THE DAY

6 By the way, whatever became of that secret weapon I used to talk about?

7 Quick! Der Führer kommt! Remove that map.

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13 PRINTEMPS

14 That s war. We bomb Washington, they bomb Tokio.

15 It seems there s a good deal of unrest over there because of priorities and there may be an internal collapse before spring. Imagine! Right in the middle of our Greater East Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere!

16 And here s the new Curtis-Wright propeller plant, slightly to the left of Mrs. Togomatsu and the children.

17 Good heavens! Am I supposed to see this?

18 The one I m with is certainly a cluck. He don t know where he s been, or where he s going, or anything.

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20 It s the Internationale. If you don t know the words, just mumble.

21 Which helps Great Britain the most tweeds or whiskey?

22 Makes quite a ceremony out of those draft notices, doesn t he?

23 Very good. And now Sergeant Wallace will acquaint you with our little list of Don ts

24 Look at it this way-- you re the baby sparrow and I m the mamma sparrow. Look at it this way you re the baby sparrow and I m the mamma sparrow.

25 They must be nuts.

26 And hereafter if there s anything you don t like, come to me don t write to Mrs. Roosevelt.

27 I m sorry. This section is reserved for officers.

28 Hey, what country is this?

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36 Oh, Oh, I don t I don t know I know-- I just just feel feel sort of out of things. sort of out of things.

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38 What do you suppose can be keeping that damned pigeon?

39 Did I ever tell you I was voted Most Likely to Succeed at Lafayette in 1938?

40 Ouch, sir!

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42 Is this seat taken?

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44 How old is a Major?

45 When do the soldiers get here?

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47 Oh, I m not waiting for anyone in particular

48 Hold it, Lucy! Here I am.

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50 You re speaking to B. J. Wetherby, dammit!

51 What do you know, Emily! They want me back in baseball.

52 I ll bet you wish your mother was a grease monkey.

53 As you know, Collins, this national-defense situation has left us a bit shorthanded. Can you ride a bicycle?

54 Of course, if he leaves for a defense job we re licked.

55 Daddy s gone back to camp, Helen is at the canteen, Bill s at a troop meeting, and Mother s still at the plant. Is there anything I can do for you?

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57 I said would you be interested in steady employment with a private family?

58 The board regrets that it must reject your application for a new tire but asks me to congratulate you on a most moving appeal.

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60 I tell you we haven t got any aluminum!

61 Yeah? Yeah!

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63 Yeah? And a hef pond good sirloin for my boy, Sergeant Koppleman.

64 That about right for size?

65 Please don t get up

66 It s the Times bulletins every hour on the hour, the Daily News bulletins every hour on the half-hour, and those damn carrier pigeons in between.

67 My light is not showing, and get off my tulip bed!

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70 And in conclusion, Mr. President, I say that if after this great war we are to have a federation of all nations of the earth, where would it be more fitting to have the seat of government of this great brotherhood of a free and friendly peoples than right here in God s country?

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72 I can see it all now. Bands playing! Our boys marching up the Avenue! Cheering throngs and people throwing paper from every window! Oh, it ll be perfect hell.

73 Ask Marshall! Ask Eisenhower! How should I know why it was rejected?

74 Can you step up here just a moment, Mr. Hodgins? I think I ve found your bottleneck.

75 Hara-kari ///////// ///////// hari-kari ///////// hari-kiri hara-

76 Tell me, Togo, where did you put the Napoleon brandy? Tell me, Togo, where did you put the Napoleon brandy?

77 then, what s left over from the front room bedspread we could dye and make into cushion-covers for the parlour.

78 and here is another bit of news which has just come through

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