Taming the Tongue. Community of the Risen Christ Christian Personal Relationships Course. I. The Power of Words

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1 Taming the Tongue I. The Power of Words A. Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Proverbs B. God s Word - and God said let there be light, and there was light 1. Genesis 1.3.6,9,11, 14,20,24, God creates and calls into being by His Word Psalm 33.6 & 9 By the word of the Lord, the heavens were made for He spoke, and it came to be; 3. When God speaks things happen- Isaiah 55.11ff; so shall My word be that goes out from My mouth; it shall not return to Me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and succeed in the thing for which I sent it. 4. Hebrews 4.12 Indeed, the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two edged sword, piercing until it divides soul from spirit. C. Man created in the image and likeness of God capacity to speak. D. Words power to heal or to destroy 1. Rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. 2. Proverbs 12.18; Proverbs 25.18; 16.27; Psalm ; 64.3; 57.4; ;

2 E. Our words are a source of life or death for us they reflect the condition of our heart. Matthew 12.33ff. For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good person brings good things out of a good treasure, and the evil person brings evil things out of an evil treasure. I tell you, on the day of judgment you will have to give an account for every careless word you utter; for by your words you will be justified and by your words you will be condemned. Francis de Sales: Introduction to the Devout Life: Physicians learn about a man s health or sickness by looking at his tongue and our words are a true indication of the state of our souls. By your words you will be justified and by your words you will be condemned, says the Lord. F. Not only do our words express what s in our hearts, they also guide and orientate our life 3. James 3.3 If we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we guide their whole bodies. 4. James 3.4 Or look at ships: though they are so large that it takes strong winds to drive them, yet they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member. 5. James 3.2,8 If one can tame the tongue he is perfect. 6. Ephesians 4.29 Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear.

3 II. Thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor. Exodus A. The Eighth Commandment B. Offenses against the commandment. 1. Lying a lie consists in speaking a falsehood with the intention of deceiving. CCC # 2482 Lying is the most direct offense against the truth. CCC #2483 Lying is destructive of society; it undermines trust among men and tears apart the fabric of social relationships. CCC # Perjury CCC # When it is made publicly, a statement contrary to the truth takes on a particular gravity. In court it becomes false witness. Cf. Exodus 20.16; Proverbs 19.5,9; Slander (calumny): CCC # 2477 He becomes guilty of calumny, who by remarks contrary to the truth, harms the reputation of others and gives occasion for false judgments concerning them. a. Biblical words for slander: katalalous to make personal accusations and charges that one h as no authority to make. James ; Do not speak evil against one another brothers a nd sisters. Whoever speaks evil against another or judges another, speaks evil against the law and judges the law; but if you judge th e law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is one lawg iver and judge who is able to save and to destroy. So who then, ar e you to judge your neighbor? 2 Corinthians 12:20: For I fear that when I come, I may find you n ot as I wish, and that you may find me not as you wish: I fear that there may perhaps be quarreling, jealousy, anger, selfishness, slan der, gossip, conceit and disorder.

4 1 Peter 2.1. Diaboles to act as accuser of the brethren. 1 Timothy 3.11; 2 Ti mothy 3.3; Titus Timothy 3.3 For people will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, inhuman, implacable, slanderers, profligates, brutes, haters of good, treacherous avoid them! Blasphemia to speak badly of someone. Matthew 15.19; Ephesi ans 4.31; put away from you all bitterness and wrath, and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice. Colossians 3. 8; 1 Timothy 6.4; 2 b. Biblical teaching on slander focuses less on the truth or falsehood underlying the charges and more on the appropriateness of making them in the first place. CCC #2489 Charity and respect for the truth should dictate the respone to every request for information or communication. The good and safety of others, respect for privacy, and the common good are sufficient reasons for being silent mout what ought not to be known or for making use of a discreet language. The duty to avoid scandal often commands stri ct discretion. No one is bound to reveal the truth to someone who does not have the right to know it. c. We are forbidden in Scripture to speak of one another in a way that destroys another s reputation or questions his basic righteousness or competence except in a very few specific and limited situations situations in which we have some authority. 4. Gossip (detraction) CCC # 2477 He becomes guilty of detraction who without an objectively valid reason discloses another s faults and failings to persons who do not know them.

5 a. Scriptural background Proverbs ; Sirach ; Never repeat a conversation, and you will loose nothing at all. With friend or foe do not report it, and unless it would be a sin for you, do not reveal it; Have you heard something? Let it die with you. Be brave, it will not make you burst! Sirach ; Whoever betrays secrets destroys confidence, and will never find a congenial friend. Love your friend and keep confidence with him for as a person destroys his enemy, so you have destroyed the friendship of your neighbor. Proverbs : Argue your case with your neighbor directly, and do not disclose another s secret; or else someone who hears you will bring shame upon you, and your ill repute will have no end. 1 Timothy 5.13 b. Key Points: We shouldn t speak about other peoples problems in a way that could reflect on their character or competence. We shouldn t speak about other peoples weaknesses, temptatio ns and sin unless we have received explicit permission to do so o r we feel obligated to seek out help for them. We shouldn t speak about other peoples private and personal af fairs. We shouldn t speak critically about various areas of other people s lives, rendering a judgment or opinion about someone else s lif e when we have no authority to do so. We can speak about the good things that happen to others. c. Responding to gossip (and slander): Proverbs 17:4 says: An evildoer listens to wicked lips; and a liar gi ves heed to a mischievous tongue. What is your reason for telling me?

6 Where did you get your information? Have you talked directly with those involved? Matthew 18: Have you personally checked out all the facts? Can I quote you if I check this out? 5. Busybodies attempting to manage other s affairs- prying into other s affairs. 1 Peter 4.15; 2 Thessalonians 3.11; 1 Timothy Negative humor- a veiled way to express affection or criticism. Consequences of negative humor: d. Emotional insecurity e. Jealousy, criticalness and competiveness f. Reluctance to share with others about our problems, weaknesses, failings because it gives them more material to use in their humor. C. Taming the tongue allows us to trust one another, to speak about our lives in an open way, and to protect the honor and dignity of one another.

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