STICK WITH FORGIVENESS

Transcription

1 SESSION 3 STICK WITH FORGIVENESS 108 SESSION 3

2 When was the last time it cost you a lot to fix something? QUESTION #1 #BSFLforgiveness BIBLE STUDIES FOR LIFE 109

3 THE POINT Relationships grow deeper with forgiveness. THE BIBLE MEETS LIFE Ever tried to save money by staying in an inexpensive hotel, only to discover management kept their prices down by not investing in bug extermination? Or, have you ever bought the generic version of a fine food such as peanut butter only to be disappointed when it tastes vaguely similar to what you were expecting? If so, you know some things are worth paying a higher price. I d put forgiveness in that higher-price category. Even though it can be costly, forgiveness is a great investment in any relationship. Forgiveness is the stuff of healthy marriages, healthy families, and healthy churches. That s because relationships grow when we let go of a hurt, a wound, or a critical remark. As you examine Jesus story of the unforgiving servant, let the Word of God work inside your heart, removing any remnants of resentment and unforgiveness. 110 SESSION 3

4 WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY? Matthew 18:21-28,32-33 (NIV) 21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times? 22 Jesus answered, I tell you, not seven times, but seventyseven times. 23 Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. Bags of gold (v. 24) A bag of gold, also described as a talent, was about 6,000 denarii (see below). It would take a common laborer around 16 years to earn a single talent. Silver coins (v. 28) A silver coin, also called a denarius, was the daily wage a Roman soldier or a day laborer earned at the time Jesus told this story. 26 At this the servant fell on his knees before him. Be patient with me, he begged, and I will pay back everything. 27 The servant s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. 28 But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. Pay back what you owe me! he demanded. 32 Then the master called the servant in. You wicked servant, he said, I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you? BIBLE STUDIES FOR LIFE 111

5 THE POINT Relationships grow deeper with forgiveness. Matthew 18:21-22 In these verses, Peter was basically asking if there s a quota on grace. How many times are we called to let the same person slide off the hook? The rabbis of that day challenged people to overlook an offense up to three times. To Peter s way of thinking, he was being generous. Forgiving someone seven times more than doubled the cultural expectations for grace. Jesus surely stunned Peter with His response. 70 times seven or seventy-seven times are both possible interpretations of Jesus forgiveness formula. Either route you take, the point is that grace should have no limits. Few people are ever offended 50, 60, or 70 times by the same person in a short time. The Lord is exaggerating here for effect. Don t keep track; just keep forgiving. Corrie ten Boom lived through the nightmare of a Nazi concentration camp. In that hellish place, she was humiliated, especially in the delousing shower where the women were watched by the leering guards. By the grace of God, Corrie survived it all and found it in her heart to forgive or so she thought. What actually happens when you forgive someone? QUESTION #2 Corrie later traveled extensively to share her testimony of God s forgiveness. One day a man approached her with his hand outstretched. How good it is to know, as you say, all our sins are at the bottom of the sea! Young lady, it is wonderful that Jesus forgives us all our sins but I would like to hear it from your lips as well. Fraulein, will you forgive me? This was the leering, mocking face of one of the cruelest guards in the shower stall. Coldness clutched Corrie s heart and she prayed: Jesus help me! I can lift my hand. I can do that much. You supply the feeling. The ice of hate melted, and her hand went out. I forgive you, brother! With all my heart! 1 She forgave as she was forgiven. 112 SESSION 3

6 Matthew 18:23-27 To drive home His shocking seventy-seven times statement to Peter, Jesus told a parable. This was not an historical story, but an illustration of the truth Jesus wanted to teach. The parable was about a man with a major debt crisis. He owed the king a crazy amount of cash and had no means of paying it off. When the king called in the note, the indebted man fell face down on the ground, begging his master to give him additional time to pay it all back. The king was seasoned and wise. He knew this man could burn the candle at both ends, working 24/7 for the rest of his life, and still not produce the cash required to pay this bill. What was the king to do? In an astonishing act of grace and mercy, the king relieved the man of his responsibility and pardoned the debt. All of it. In Jewish parables, a king symbolized God, and the idea of settling accounts symbolized judgment. Each of us is like the servant with an incredible debt. How big is our debt? Jesus used the outrageous amount of ten thousand bags of gold, or 10,000 talents. A talent was the highest denomination of currency at that time, and 10,000 was the largest number in the Greek language. A worker typically earned one silver coin (also called a denarius) each day, and it took 6,000 denarii to equal one talent. To earn one talent, then, would take about 16 ½ years. And with a debt of 10,000 talents, it would take this debtor 16,000 years to pay off his debt! 2 Once again, Jesus was using hyperbole to make a point. Namely, this was an impossible debt to repay. Similarly, our debt of rebellion and offense against God is so huge, it s impossible for us to pay it off. But Jesus paid the debt in full for us, and God has forgiven our rebellion our sin. We don t deserve forgiveness, but God in His grace and mercy has extended forgiveness to us through Jesus. We are free! Since Jesus has forgiven us, what hinders us from forgiving others? QUESTION #3 BIBLE STUDIES FOR LIFE 113

7 THE POINT Relationships grow deeper with forgiveness. Matthew 18:28,32-33 The king set the man free from his enormous debt. He was allowed to run free. Unfortunately, he ran in the wrong direction. He ran after someone who owed him money. The second man s debt was not small, but it was insignificant compared to the debt just canceled. The second man s debt was 100 denarii (silver coins), about three month s wages. But what s that compared to 60,000,000 denarii 16,000 year s wages? Why do we behave like this? Why do we withhold forgiveness when we ve been forgiven so much? I know forgiveness isn t always easy but it s always right. Only a heartless, cruel person would make a friend pay a petty bill in the wake of his own extravagant pardon. Barnacles are organisms that bunch up on the underside of a boat and become quite a nuisance in large numbers. In fact, a boat encrusted with barnacles may use up to 50 percent more fuel when travelling at normal speed. Worse, barnacles are notoriously difficult to remove once they take hold. The longer they remain, the more difficult it becomes to get rid of them. They come off only by strong force. Our past hurts and the unforgiveness we hold on to are like barnacles that weigh us down and prevent our relationships from moving forward. Only through Christ can we tap into the supernatural power needed to remove these barriers and forgive. Those who have been raised with Christ have been endowed with the strength to break free from unforgiveness. How do the king s actions in this parable mirror God s actions toward us? QUESTION #4 How have you seen forgiveness deepen a relationship? QUESTION #5 No, forgiveness isn t always easy. It s costly, too. Look at what it cost Jesus! But even as Christ has forgiven us, He empowers us by His Spirit to extend that same forgiveness to others. With God s help, we can overcome past hurts and set our relationships free from unforgiveness. 114 SESSION 3

8 BARRIERS TO FORGIVENESS PRIDE PAIN BITTERNESS REVENGE FEAR APATHY ANGER GUILT PLEASURE STUBBORNNESS Think of someone who has wronged you or hurt you. Circle any of the above obstacles that are preventing you from forgiving that debt. What s one step you can take to begin knocking down these obstacles and move toward forgiveness? BIBLE STUDIES FOR LIFE 115

9 but I must find an answer, or it s going to destroy my marriage. My wife and I are both Christians. We ve been Christians since we were children. I ve never been perfect, but I ve tried to follow Jesus teachings. I kept myself sexually pure before marriage. I was never intimate with anyone. On the other hand, during her college years, my wife was sexually active with two men she dated. She said she was a Christian, but she wasn t following the biblical pattern of abstinence before marriage. Personally, I ve struggled with visual images of her relations with those other men. I can t get the images out of my head. Sometimes they push me to withdraw from her sexually. Other times they trigger intense anger toward her for what she did. Sometimes I feel anger toward God. When I tried so hard to keep myself pure before marriage, why could He not have given me a wife who did the same? In the last 30 years, more Christian couples have been struggling with the fallout of pre-marital sex. The message of our culture since the 60s has been that sex is a recreational sport. It has no lasting effect on the individuals involved. The reality is that nothing could be further from the truth. In addition to the thousands who suffer from sexually transmitted diseases, which are incurable, there are thousands of others who suffer the emotional pain, which Keith describes. The best recourse for our society going forward would be a return to biblical foundations regarding human sexuality, which clearly condemns both fornication and adultery. Unfortunately, many Christians have bought into the culture rather than being committed to biblical teachings. Sexual activity before marriage allows the possibility of pregnancy, which is followed by decisions about abortion, adoption, or keeping the baby. Thousands of young women have had their lives interrupted by these painful decisions. Whatever decision they make, life for them after pregnancy will never be the same. They must live with the joys and struggles of raising a child alone. Or live with the reality that some other couple is raising their child. Or live with the memory that they chose to terminate a life. None of these are easy choices. in marriage if you re plagued with memories of past failures? God s grace opens the possibility of making this a reality. The answer lies in understanding God s forgiveness and grace. When you sin, you establish a barrier between yourself and God. This barrier stops the flow of your communication with God. He said to ancient Israel, Your iniquities have built barriers between you and your God, and your sins have made Him hide His face from you so that He does not listen (Isaiah 59:2). Because God is holy, He cannot fellowship with you while you re walking in sin. However, because of His great love for you, He sent Christ to pay the penalty of your sin, so that if you re willing to confess your sin, then He is willing to forgive you (1 John 1:9). Therefore, He removes the barrier or takes away the wall that separates you from Him. Once you confess your sin and accept God s forgiveness, the barrier is removed, and you walk ahead in fellowship 32 HOMELIFE JUNE 2014 Find us on Facebook: facebook.com/lifewaywomen Follow our blog: lifeway.com/allaccess with God. It s the understanding and acceptance of this truth that allows the one who has been sexually active before marriage, to be totally forgiven by God, and to know assuredly that God no longer holds his or her sins against that person. He can look himself in the mirror and hold his head high, not because he s perfect, but because he s been forgiven by the grace of a loving God. If God no longer holds your sins against you, follow His example and release your mind and heart from the guilt of past failures. Walk in the light as He is in the light and have fellowship with God and His people. But what about healing for the husband who has lived with images of his wife s sexual involvement with other men? I believe the answer for those who struggle with such memories is to ask God to let the blood of Christ cover their memories of the past and then to visualize the blood of Christ flowing over those memories and clouding the images so that they can no longer be viewed. Just as God chooses to remember our sins no more against us because the blood of Christ has covered them, so we come to no longer visualize those sins because the blood of Christ has covered them. When the memories return, look to God and say, Father, thank You that all of those sins have been covered by the blood of Christ. I can treat my spouse or myself as pure because that s the way You view us. Gary Chapman, Ph.D., hosts two national radio programs: A Love Language Minute and Building Relationships both are on the Moody Broadcasting network and can be downloaded at fivelovelanguages. com. Gary is an author and marriage conference leader and serves on the staff of Calvary Baptist Church in Winston-Salem, N.C. He and his wife, Karolyn, have two grown children. JUNE 2014 HOMELIFE 33 THE POINT Relationships grow deeper with forgiveness. LIVE IT OUT How can you incorporate forgiveness into your life this week? Consider the following options: Evaluate. Consider your current relationships and spend time identifying areas of unforgiveness in your heart. Take a small step. Make an effort to extend forgiveness in a relationship where you ve been wronged or slighted. Take the first step even if you ve done nothing wrong. Take a large step. Identify a relationship in which you need to be forgiven one where you ve contributed to bad feelings, or even where you re completely in the wrong. With humility, make an effort to bridge the gap. Your sin is a 10,000 talent debt forgiven by God. The debts others may owe to you are insignificant in comparison as are the debts you may owe to others. God forgives. You can, too. Remember Them No More family love that lasts BY GARY CHAPMAN If God no longer holds your sins against you, follow His example and release your mind and heart from the guilt of past failures. Keith had been married 20 years when he sat in my office and said, I ve never shared this with anyone, but I must find an answer, or it s going to destroy my marriage. Remember Them No More Allow the blood of Christ to cover painful memories from the past. God Has Removed the Barrier The question is, how do you have a healthy sexual relationship Keith had been married 20 years when he sat in my office and said, I ve never shared this with anyone, istockphoto.com To continue reading Remember Them No More from HomeLife magazine, visit BibleStudiesforLife.com/articles. 116 SESSION 3

10 My g roup's prayer requests My thoughts 1. ten Boom Corrie, Tramp for the Lord (CLC Publications, 1974), Matthew 18:23-27, study notes, (HCSB Study Bible), Charles L. Quarles Ph.D., pp BIBLE STUDIES FOR LIFE 117