Department of Community & Synagogue

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1 Department of Community & Synagogue update Services SYNAGOGUE NEWSBRIEFS AND UPDATES 11 Broadway, New York, NY Fax: National Positive Jewish Parenting Programs In an ongoing effort to address timely and relevant issues impacting upon families in today s society, the Orthodox Union has initiated Positive Jewish Parenting conferences and workshops for communities and synagogues throughout the country either as a communal conference, or as a local synagogue program*. These programs address daily issues and challenges facing parents of children in the mainstream on either the elementary or high school levels. Practical ideas and suggestions are provided, through interactive workshops conducted by mental health professionals. We will design and implement a full marketing plan and turnkey operation, including brochure, posters, advertisements, press release, , synagogue and school bulletins inserts, and correspondence for synagogue membership and parents of school-aged children. A sampling of past programs have included topics such as: Elementary Level Maximizing Your Child s Potential Setting Limits Enhancing Communication Skills Oppositional Behavior Homework: Getting Children to Do Their Own Work Self-Esteem High School Level How to Talk So Your Teenager Will Listen, and How to Listen so Your Teenager Will Talk Feeling Good from Inside to Out: Helping Teenagers to Like Themselves How Parents Can Promote Teenage Autonomy and Responsibility How to Avoid Religious Conflict Between Parents and Teens Eating Disorders: Body Image and Relationships * Sample Format (Synagogue Program) Saturday night during winter or Sundays throughout the year * Sample Format (Communal Conference) A detailed communal conference program outline in pdf format can be found by logging onto our website, First 20 minutes: Registration / Greetings First 30 minutes: Registration / Refreshments / Greetings First hour: Second hour: Workshop #1 Select one of two programs Workshop #2 Select one of two programs First hour: Workshop #1 Select one of 6-9 concurrent workshops Second hour: Workshop #2 Select one of 6 9 concurrent workshops (new and repeats) Third hour: Buffet / Keynote / Questions and Answers Third hour: Keynote / Questions and Answers HARVEY BLITZ President, Orthodox Union STEPHEN J. SAVITSKY Chairman, Board of Directors MARTIN NACHIMSON Chairman, Board of Governors RABBI DR. TZVI HERSH WEINREB Executive Vice President ALAN MILLER National Chairman, Community and Synagogue Services Commission MICHAEL C. WIMPFHEIMER National Chairman, Synagogue Membership Committee RABBI MOSHE D. KRUPKA Executive Director, Programming FRANK BUCHWEITZ UPDATE EDITOR Director, Special Projects RABBI MAYER WAXMAN Director, Community Services RABBI DANNY WOLFF Director of Development BATYA HARRIS Program Coordinator RICHARD STARESHEFSKY Director, Israel Missions UPDATE Published by the ORTHODOX UNION, Department of Community and Synagogue Services 11 Broadway, New York, NY (212) Fax (212)

2 P A R E N T I N G M A R R I A G E Positive Jewish Parenting Conference in Chicago There were 400 participants that attended interactive workshops on strengthening parenting skills in Chicago this past month. Yasher Kochachem to Rabbi Dr. Harvey Well, Superintendent of Associated Talmud Torahs of Chicago, and Rabbi Dr. Leonard Matanky of Congregation K.I.N.S. of West Rogers Park and Associate Superintendent of the Associated Talmud Torahs of Chicago for bringing such an educationally beneficial program to the community. THE HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL Orthodox Union program that has attracted large audiences and enthusiastic responses. Professionally-led workshops deal with everyday issues and challenges facing parents of children of elementary or high school age, such as: Setting Limits for Children, Responding to Anger, Sibling Rivalry, Oppositional Behavior, and Maximizing Children s Potential. Positive Jewish Parenting Interactive Workshops on Strengthening Parenting Skills BRING THIS PROGRAM TO YOUR SYNAGOGUE, SCHOOL, COMMUNITY! Orthodox Union Eleven Broadway, New York, NY Positive Jewish Marriages for Your Synagogue This past July, the Orthodox Union launched its first Positive Jewish Marriage Enrichment Retreat Weekend. The Retreat followed the highly successful Positive Jewish Parenting programs, representing a continuation of Orthodox Union educational activities on strengthening family relationships. It was an outstanding experience for all. SESSION HIGHLIGHTS Highly Effective Communication Techniques / Actualizing Emotional Closeness, Intimacy and Love / Realistic Expectations / Growing Together Not Apart / Differences: Opportunities for Personal and Mutual Fulfillment / The Art of Conflict Negotiation and Compromise / Role of Finances in Marriage / Making In-Law Relationships and Extended Family Work / Maintaining Closeness and Personal Identify while Raising a Family / How Jewish Marriage Ethics can Enhance your Marriage We are able to replicate highlights of this program in your synagogue focusing on the positive aspects of marriage, and highlighting characteristics found in happy couples. Practical ideas, skills and suggestions will be presented in workshop format, for nurturing more fulfilling marriages. Participants will be provided opportunities to interact with each other through group discussion, and activities led by marriage professionals. 2

3 Positive Jewish Marriages Retreat OU Turns Good Marriages into Great Ones at Retreat for Contented Couples In an atmosphere reminiscent of a large family gathering, the Orthodox Union (OU) brought together 84 happily married couples last month, with the aim of turning good marriages into great ones. According to Frank Buchweitz, OU Director of Special Projects, who orchestrated the entire Positive Jewish Marriages Enrichment Retreat, the couples spanned the ideological spectrum of Orthodoxy, providing a sense of achdut, or Jewish unity, throughout the program. Participants ranged from one year of marriage to 53, and came from many localities, as far removed from the retreat s suburban New Jersey location as Des Moines. More than 50 other couples were turned away for lack of space when registration was closed two weeks before the event. From the day the program was announced, people were clamoring to attend, the OU s Buchweitz said. They realize that marriage is a long-term situation, that just as doctors and other professionals engage in continuing education, even happily married couples should take the time to renew their knowledge of each other and to learn techniques to strengthen their healthy relationship. The conference, held in conjunction with the International Association of Orthodox Mental Health Professionals (NEFESH) consisted of 19 sessions with a range of topics including communication skills, decision making, conflict resolution and realistic expectations. The presenters were all professionals from the Orthodox community, two of whom were also synagogue rabbis. Indeed, Jewish learning was a constant in the proceedings. Presenters continually referred to Torah, Gemara, Mishlei (Proverbs) as well as to a wide variety of commentaries. Feedback from participants was overwhelmingly favorable, with many couples emphasizing the amount of fun and good feeling the retreat engendered. By design, the event was scheduled for a weekend. Shabbat is a wonderful time to hold such a program, declared Dr. Marcy P. Schaffer who, together with her husband Dr. Sylvan J. Schaffer, presented four sessions during the weekend. The Retreat involved aspects of the sanctity and kedusha (holiness) of marriage, which Shabbat is ideal for, added Dr. Sylvan Schaffer. Ed and Fern Wunsch of Woodmere NY agree. We met a lot of very good people here. We developed a real camaraderie with people at our table, with people we davened with, with people who, like us, came here to enhance their marriages, so we formed lasting friendships with them. We emphasized personal involvement and the human touch, Frank Buchweitz explained. The couples felt they were treated like family rather than like people going to a hotel for the weekend. We took special care to make certain that there would be a family atmosphere, that the relationship with the presenters would be informal, and that through audience participation and discussions, the retreat would not be a seminar, but a living experience. Men are from Minsk; Women are from Pinsk Understanding Gender Differences, a session led by Rabbi Dr. Mordechai Glick, had participants rolling in the aisles at dialogues in which first the husband took a cool, businesslike attitude to the emotional words of his wife, and then, in a role reversal, the wife became cool and the husband emotional. Rabbi Glick was totally amazing, declared one couple on their post-retreat evaluation form. All was not laughter, however, presenters and participants alike acknowledged that there were stresses even in good marriages, and that only by addressing them can good marriages become great. We have a wonderful, Orthodox lifestyle which can, at times, stress us out, declared Dr. David Pelcovitz in his session, How to Speak So Your Spouse Will Listen, and How to Understand What Really Is Being Said. Such roadblocks to harmony as poor communication between spouses, the challenges of parenting, in-law relationships and financial strains (often due to the soaring costs of yeshiva tuition) were explored and techniques to deal with them were presented. In the Shabbat sessions conducted by the Drs. Schaffer, couples learned basic techniques to apply to specific challenges. We provided skills-based training so that problems do not spiral out of control, explained Dr. Marcy Schaffer. One young couple, the parents of two children, was enthusiastic about these approaches. The bottom line is, we understand that marriage can sometimes be a struggle, what with the pressures of children and other concerns, the husband remarked. You have to work really hard to bridge the gap that may develop, so you make the effort. According to his wife, If your marriage is working, as ours is, you can deal with the issues if you know how to do it. An interested observer was OU Executive Vice President Rabbi Dr. Tzvi Hersh Weinreb, himself a psychologist with years of clinical experience in dealing with issues of marriage, in addition to his role as a rabbi. For Rabbi Weinreb, the retreat had a variety of expectations, all of which were fulfilled. We learned a lot about positive Jewish marriages, he said, distinguishing between positive marriages and those in trouble. The faculty was outstanding, he added, and the biggest bonus of all, we had a lot of fun. OU Executive Director for Programming, Rabbi Moshe D. Krupka, sees the Positive Jewish Marriages Enrichment Retreat as the latest example of the OU s increasing emphasis on programs directed towards the needs of the community. Following on the highly successful parenting programs the OU has organized nationally over the past few years, he said, we feel that an increasing part of our efforts should be targeted towards the individual members of our constituency. Clearly, whatever we can do to strengthen the Jewish family will help ensure the stability of our community in the years to come. With this success as a guide, the OU hopes that local communities will now sponsor events of this kind, utilizing expert resources from their own localities or importing them as necessary. The OU will play a major role in encouraging and facilitating these programs across the country, declared Rabbi Krupka. This is good news to Dr. Michael Elman of Baltimore, an OU regional vice president, and his wife Linda. Marriage and the family are the most important aspects of Jewish life, Dr. Elman said. The OU is in the unique position of being able to facilitate happy marriages in the Jewish community, to help people maintain the proper priorities in their Jewish lives, and to bond these people to their synagogues through these programs. For more information on bringing a program on Positive Jewish Marriages to your community, contact Frank Buchweitz, Director of Special Projects, Orthodox Union at frank@ou.org, or Press coverage Ohio Jewish Chronicle, Columbus, OH; Jewish Voice & Opinion, Englewood NJ; New Jersey Jewish Standard, Teaneck NJ; The Jewish Star, Lawrence NY; Jewish Press, Brooklyn NY 3

4 SYNAGOGUE ADULT EDUCATION PROGRAMS Author Appearances and Book Signings Countrywide Initiative In conjunction with the Jewish Book Council, arrangements can be made for author appearances and book-signings throughout the country, with preference to smaller Jewish communities. Synagogues only incur the costs of transportation and accommodation. Book listings are updated throughout the year, and subject to scheduling. Please call regarding availability of authors to speak at your synagogue. A sampling of current authors include: Yitta Halberstam and Judith Leventhal of the Small Miracles series Tova Mirvis, The Outside World Levana Kirschenbaum, Levana s Table Brian Mark Rigg, Hitler s Jewish Soldiers Daniel Levitus, The Terrorist Next Door Ari Goldman, Living a Year of Kaddish. Please call for a full listing for this series. Torah Ethics Project The Department of Community and Synagogue Services of the Orthodox Union has created and disseminated several learning source books to enhance synagogue programming. Some recent examples include Tikun Leil Hoshanah Rabba, materials on Tehillim, and last year s Tikun Leil Shavuot source book, not to mention the popular Pardes series. Rabbonim have indicated that these materials have been of great value and have requested additional material. As an extension of this service, the Orthodox Union will be collaborating with the Orthodox Caucus to develop and disseminate educational materials on topics of practical Torah ethics. We anticipate that the first topic will be developed by Sefirat Ha Omer. Synagogue Blood Drive The greatest gift that one can give is the gift of life. Whether as a social or a family event surrounding this important mitzvah, a blood drive is a natural for a synagogue. We will be happy to facilitate this program in your shul. All you have to do is provide the space, time, and internal promotion. Join an existing program or design your own! OU/RCA Winter Solidarity Mission January For further information: Richard Stareshefsky, Director of Israel Missions ORTHODOX UNION Dept. of Community & Synagogue Services 11 Broadway, 14th Floor, New York, NY richard@ou.org 4

5 CALL FOR THESE PROGRAMS Kashrut Seminars We are pleased to inform you that the Kashrut Department of the Orthodox Union would be pleased to visit your community and address areas of Kashrut. There will be no fee involved except for transportation/accommodation. For more information please contact Batya Harris, , Resource Bank of Winning Programs There are many wonderful programs taking place in synagogues which can be replicated throughout the country. We would like to develop a resource bank of programs and source materials for Rabbanim to share with each other. Please appropriate materials to frank@ou.org so that we may begin to share with colleagues. Selecting a College: A Guide for Observant Families This is a wonderful synagogue program geared for parents and students of high school Seniors and Juniors preparing to select a college. Issues addressed include: Jewish maturation and personal growth opportunities and pitfalls (at both secular and Jewish institutions). Identification of schools to maximize academic achievement and career preparation. Preparation for Post High School Realities: Nurturing balanced independence. This 1 hour program is presented by Rabbi Joseph Polak, author of Choosing a College: A Guide for Observant Students, an OU/ NCSY publication, available on our website Rabbi Polak is Director of Hillel, Assistant Professor of Health Law at Boston University, and Chairman of the Boston Beit Din. Join the Tefillah L chayalei Tzahal Campaign Join 100,000 Jews in reciting the Tefillah L chayalei Tzahal - The Prayer for Members of the Israeli Defense Forces - daily and help raise funds to benefit our soldiers in Israel. Order large cards in Hebrew (8 1 /2 x 11 ) for $5 each and small cards (credit card size) in Hebrew or English for $1.00 and be a part of this mitzvah! All proceeds benefit needy soldiers and will be distributed by the Office of the Chief Military Chaplain of the IDF. Publications / Torah Dimensions AUDIO TAPES / TAPES FOR CHILDREN / VIDEO TAPES OU TISHA B AV VIDEOS / TORAH VIEWS / SALE VIDEOS Have you utilized the Orthodox Union s extensive Publication and Audiovisual library for synagogues and home study. Log onto then select publications to view or download a full listing of offerings. Discounts are available on a great variety of tapes, books, siddurim, and machzorim. 5

6 Let us do the work for you! ORTHODOX UNION DEPARTMENT OF COMMUNITY AND SYNAGOGUE SERVICES Programs & Services for Your Synagogue The Department of Community and Synagogue Services provides synagogues with adult educational programs, as well as a vast array of activities and services that are sampled below. Please feel free to call regarding your community needs. ADULT EDUCATION Family and Relationship Programming Positive Jewish Parenting Workshops/Conference Positive Jewish Marriages Workshops/Conference Employment Workshops - Strategies for Success Kashrut Speakers Scholars-in-Residence Speakers for all Occasions Yemei Iyun Nusach HaTefilla Seminars SYNAGOGUE ADMINISTRATION AND ORGANIZATION Fundraising Synagogue Budgeting Responsibilities: Scope and Sequence Rabbi, Executive Director, Board Members Model Constitutions and Mission Statements Long-Range Planning Conflict Resolution and Mediation Professional Development Conferences for Communities Volunteer Development Office Staff and Procedure Consultation YOUTH AND YOUNG ADULT PROGRAMMING National Conference of Synagogue Youth (NCSY) Weekly Parsha Programming Manual Programs for Special Needs Population (NJCD/Yachad) SOCIAL AND POLITICAL ACTION Israel Trips and Missions Political Action Guidance (OU Institute for Public Affairs) How to Organize Singles Programming Singles Activities/Shabbatonim How to Organize a Shidduch Committee Senior Citizen Programs SOURCE BOOKS (MAR EI MEKOMOT) FOR RABBANIM Source Material for Interactive Synagogue Study on Timely Topics PARDES Series: Topics for Community Discussion PUBLICATIONS AND MEDIA Jewish Action, the OU s family magazine Synagogue Trends newsletter Community Leadership Update (CLU) Video and Audio Tapes ArtScroll and OU Publication Discounts for Synagogues OU Guide to Kosher for Passover Foods We look forward to working with you in all phases of synagogue programming and administration. Please contact Frank Buchweitz, Director, Special Projects, at , Rabbi Mayer Waxman, Director, Community Services, at , Rabbi Danny Wolff, Director of Development, at or Rabbi Alan Kalinsky, Director, Orthodox Union, West Coast at , for detailed information.

7 SINGLES PROGRAMS The Orthodox Union hosts diverse and exciting programs for singles of all ages on a regular basis with synagogues in the metropolitan New York area.we would like to encourage more synagogues to implement programs which attract and involve singles around common values, goals, and interests. We will work with you every step of the way whether a Shabbaton or an activity; including a listing on our website. Listed below is a small sampling of social, recreational, and educational activities for synagogues: Musical Kumsitz Comedy Night Wine and Cheese Party Dessert Reception Cooking Class Meet the Author Superbowl Sunday Share a Shabbat Shidduch Committee Shiurim/Adult Education Classes Encourage Shabbat lunches and/or dinners where families invite several singles to their Shabbat table Develope a shidduch committee within the synagogue, with an OU database available to all shul committees. Dedicate February 7, Shabbat Shira, for a Drasha on how the synagogue and individuals can become more proactive in marriage facilitation. There isn t one formula for finding a potential mate, nor a uniform preference on where or how singles should meet. Best practices for meeting are usually through friends, informal gatherings, and relatives, although internet dating sites have grown in popularity in the past years. Committees of young marrieds have proven quite successful in facilitating singles programs in synagogues. They usually have an extensive list of friends and acquaintances who are still single. Singles have specifically expressed a desire for greater synagogue outreach to singles, programming and inclusion in aspects of synagogue life. Getting Started The entire community is urged to work together in creating windows of opportunities for people to meet and marry. To assist your efforts in gathering the names of eligible singles, both within and outside of your community, feel free to duplicate the form below and (or send a postcard) to your membership.their replies will allow you to notify singles of upcoming activities and programs. You may also membership notification of synagogue events for assistance at the event and invitations to potential participants. Listing of eligible men and women: Submitted by Name Name Address Address City/State/Zip City/State/Zip Phone: Day ( ) Evening ( ) Phone: Day ( ) Evening ( ) Circle One: Ages: Circle One: Ages:

8 FREE SUMMER TRIP TO ISRAEL FOR SINGLES June, July and August 2004 Single men and women ages are cordially invited to participate in a FREE 10-day trip to Israel through the Orthodox Union Young Leadership, NCSY, and Birthright Israel. The eligibility requirements preclude previous participation in an organized trip of six days or longer, previous study in Israel, or having lived in Israel after age 12. List your name now by calling NEW HORIZONS SINGLES AT THE HOMOWACK HOTEL Chanukah Weekend Friday-Sunday December OPEN UP THE POSSIBILITIES!!! Single Parents Widowed Formerly Married Formerly married singles have told us that there are extremely few weekend getaways for meeting. This event, although targeting a specific audience is open to all singles. Special Rate: $185* per adult Human Bingo, Dating Game, Improvisational Comedy Workshop, Murder Mystery Script, Survey Says, Interactive Discussions and Saturday Night Social, Performance by BLUE FRINGE. Celebrate a fun filled Chanukah and expand your horizons. *$185 rate (double occupancy) is being subsidized to facilitate meeting opportunities. Children (up to age 10) $50 as a second and third to a room; meals in children s dining room. Gratuities extra. ORTHODOX UNION ELEVEN BROADWAY, 14TH FLOOR NEW YORK, NY NON-PROFIT ORG. U.S. POSTAGE PAID STATEN ISLAND, NY PERMIT NO. 301