CONTROLING OUR ANGER

Transcription

1 Emotions Pt. 6 CONTROLING OUR ANGER I am continuing a series on handling our emotions for the glory of God. Today s topic is controlling our anger. This teaching ought to affect each one of us. When something doesn t go our way, often a surge of emotion may rise up in us. Dr. Paul Meier says, Anger is the leading cause of death, leading to high blood pressure, depression, arthritis, and migraine headaches. Dr. Don Colbert says that 20% of Americans have levels of hostility that are high enough to be dangerous to their health. That s 1 in 5! [Deadly Emotions, p. 36] Some people are much more outward about their anger; some keep it within and it develops into deadly resentment, bitterness, or cynicism. A good example of these TWO KINDS OF ANGER is found in the story when one of David s sons, Amnon, raped his half-sister Tamar. Then the news got out... When King David heard all this, he was furious. Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar. (2 Sam. 13:21-22) David immediately exploded in anger; Absalom, another son and Tamar s brother, showed nothing outwardly, but inside he was stewing. This resentment lingered and grew, and as we read on, two years later, Absalom planned and carried out an execution of Amnon. DEADLY ANGER CAN LINGER IN THE HEART Jesus spoke about this, You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment. But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment... (Matt. 5:21-22) We can be fooled about outward appearance. We might see an old lady who seems sweet, but we don t know what s lurking in the heart. [YOUTUBE: Funny Old Lady Hits a Car 38 sec.] WASN T JESUS ANGRY? [Picture] What s the difference? 1. OUR ANGER IS USUALLY SELFISH. WE GET ANGRY when someone... a. Fails to appreciate us b. Damages what belongs to us c. Interrupts our time or plans 2. JESUS ANGER IS SELFLESS. JESUS GETS ANGRY when... a. Religious regulations become more important than a human need (Mark 3:5). He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, "Stretch out your hand." He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored. 1

2 b. People make his Father s house a means of personal gain (Mk. 11:15-17). On reaching Jerusalem, Jesus entered the temple area and began driving out those who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves, and would not allow anyone to carry merchandise through the temple courts. And as he taught them, he said, "Is it not written: "'My house will be called a house of prayer for all nations'? But you have made it 'a den of robbers.'" -e.g., when we see people taking advantage of Christians financially, it ought to anger us. c. We refuse to believe him (Matt 17:17; Mk. 16:14) "O unbelieving and perverse generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here to me." (Matt. 17:17) Later Jesus appeared to the Eleven as they were eating; he rebuked them for their lack of faith and their stubborn refusal to believe those who had seen him after he had risen. (Mark 16:14) d. Children are hurt or hindered from coming to God (Mk. 10:14; Matt 18:6) When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. (Mark 10:14) But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. (Matt. 18:6 NAS) This is one thing especially that ought to make us angry when children are abused, neglected, or hindered in coming to Jesus. Abortion ought to make us angry and child abuse ought to make us angry and sexual trafficking of children... We must be careful, we are to be angry and yet not sin. EXAMPLES OF WRONG ANGER: The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. (Luke 15:28) Uzziah, who had a censer in his hand ready to burn incense, became angry. While he was raging at the priests in their presence before the incense altar in the LORD s temple, leprosy broke out on his forehead. (2 Chron. 26:19) Then God said to Jonah, Do you have good reason to be angry about the plant? And he said, I have good reason to be angry, even to death. (Jonah 4:9) Question for us: Do you have good reason to be angry? ALL ANGER IS NOT SIN My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry... (James 1:19) In your anger do not sin... (Eph. 4:26) Our emotions are a gift from God. Anger can be rightly used. 2

3 Thank God, Martin Luther was a man who was angry at religious oppression. Thank God, William Wilberforce was angry at slavery. Thank God, there are a growing multitude of young people who are angry at our practice of abortion, or killing innocent babies. If you are never angry at such matters, something is quite wrong you are either mentally paralyzed, hard-of-heart, or near death. WHEN ANGER DOES BECOME SINFUL An injury or offence toward us becomes much greater in our minds than it really is. We dream about how to tell the person off. We begin to hate the person and even desire bad things to happen to him (revenge). We only think about the other s sins and fail to consider our own (Matt 7:1-5). Our anger becomes a lingering anger. (Ecc. 7:9; Ps. 30:5) Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools. (Ecc. 7:9) For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime... (Psalm 30:5) We love ourselves too much and we fail to love others enough. [Love] is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. (1 Cor. 13:5) WE MUST DISTINQUISH BETWEEN... Godly, righteous anger Self-righteous anger e.g., political news... Is anger appropriate? How deep does it go? How lingering is it? Let every person be... slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. (James 1:19-20 ESV) ANGRY AT GOD?...And all who were angry at Him shall be put to shame. (Is. 45:24 NAS) Occasionally I have heard of someone saying they raised their fist to God and they were expressing their anger. After all, God wants us to be real. Yes, be honest with God, but for me, there is a limit. God is the Holy one; he is the Almighty God the awesome God! Suppose an ant was raising his fist toward me... pretty ridiculous, isn t it? Anger at sin is good (Mk. 3:5), but anger at goodness is sin. That is why it is never right to be angry with God. He is always and only good, no matter how strange and painful His ways with us. Anger toward God signifies that he is bad or weak or cruel or foolish. None of those is true, and all of them dishonor Him. Therefore it is never right to be angry at God. (John Piper) [Pierced by the Word, p. 117] I know only two believers in the Bible who got angry at God: 3

4 Jonah, and he was rebuked by God: Do you have a right to be angry? Job and after God reveals himself in the last couple chapters, it says that Job put his hand on his mouth...and repented in dust and ashes (42:6) CONTROLING OUR ANGER 1. Overlook personal insults and inconveniences Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs. (Prov. 19:11 NLT) 2. Restrain angry feelings; say no to self! A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. (Prov. 29:11) Don t ever say I can t help it; I just lose it! Consider the Christian mom who has been a yelling match with her teenage son for five minutes and then the phone rings and suddenly the mom s voice changes, Hel-lo-o...Oh, I was just talking to my son... Whenever we start to lose it, we turn to Christ, Your patience, Lord... Your love, O Lord... And, the Lord will help us! 3. Guard the words that come out of your mouth. Some people today, say, I ve just got to be real, and then they cuss or say all kinds of hateful things. That s not being real; it s being crude and unkind and the Bible you re being a fool. We must exercise self-control over our mouths. If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. (James 1:26) ESPECIALLY GUARD THE ADJECTIVES YOU USE FOR OTHERS You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment. But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, Raca, is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, You fool! will be in danger of the fire of hell. (Matt. 5:21-22) Jesus probably spoke mostly in Aramaic and here he sued an Aramaic word, raca. In other words, I can refrain from murdering a man, but what is my spirit toward him? What =s in my heart? Raca = Aramaic term of contempt -e.g., you good for nothing, you worthless bum You fool! = The Greek word is moros from which we get moron. Moros means fool, but it means a moral fool. To call a man a moros was not to question his mental ability; it was to question his moral character. It was to brand that person a loose-living and immoral person. Both these expressions were words of condemnation. 4

5 I do not believe Jesus is saying here that a man will be punished with hell fire for simply calling a man a fool. Today we hear people curse others: e.g., Go to hell... or other expressions a person saying such things is calling on God to consign a victim to hell. Jesus says if we ever utter such things, we have murder in our hearts, and we are in danger of the hellfire ourselves. We should never feel contempt for another human being. The basic lesson from these verses is to watch your words of condemnation toward others. You may be angry, but do not sin. 4. Leave vengeance to God. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God s wrath, for it is written: It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord. (Rom. 12:17-19) This is so important and it can mean the difference between inner freedom and bondage. Are you leaving your concern with the Lord? One meaning of the Greek word for Forgive is to let go; to leave it. When we hold on to our hurts and grievances, resentment grows in our hearts. Are you trusting God? As long as you are thinking about some pay-back to the one who wronged you, or you secretly wish something bad would happen to that person, you are not trusting God, who is the one who will one day issue perfect justice and perfect punishment for those who require it. Leave vengeance to God. 5. Avoid close friendship with those who are constantly irritated, critical, and angry. An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins. (Prov. 29:22) Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, (Prov. 22:24) This is why I can t listen to too many talk shows that are always criticizing the government, bad-mouthing the president, and exposing the latest gossipy news story...i can find myself become agitated...even angry... Brethren, we have a lot of business to attend to at home don t we? 6. Don t fight fire with fire ; respond to anger gently. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Prov. 15:1) I have learned over the years watching John M deal with unhappy or angry parents...he listens very patiently (much more than I would) and he is not quick to respond...he will often say, Let me consider these things and get back to you... If your boss is angry at you, don t quit! A quiet spirit can overcome even great mistakes. (Ecc. 10:4 NLT) 5

6 7. Guard against anger towards those you love most your mate and children. A husband and wife are usually closer to each other than any other persons, so naturally there will be some times of disagreement, even friction In the original Scripture, there were no verse chapters and verse divisions. In Ephesians, the chapter 5 about marriage is preceded by chapter 4. They belong together. In your anger do not sin...: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. (Eph. 4:26-27) Husbands and wives, don t let anger fester in your heart...don t give each other the silent treatment. Get your own spirit right and then talk calmly about it. Unchecked anger gives Satan a foothold into your life... Mothers and fathers, if you have never been angry, your children may very well help you experience it. What happens when: They don t take no for an answer They just don t clean up their messes They don t eat the food it took me a long time to prepare They show no appreciation for all I ve done for them. But parents, when your children are grown, what are they going to remember about you? They will probably not recall all your words of wisdom; but they will certainly remember your character. Will they say, My parents sure yelled at me a lot...? or, Mom always seemed angry...? My dad sure could lose his temper... Two things helped me as a father... Thomas Jefferson once said, When angry, count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to a hundred. (Thomas Jefferson) o This is especially true if you are going to need to spank a child. I used to tell a child, in a few minutes, we are going to talk... That way, Teresa and I would sometimes confer on what should take place, and if I were to spank a child, I would be in a calmer disposition. I can remember a very specific time (and I m sure it wasn t the only one) but when I gave way to sinful anger in dealing with a son of mine. Later I had to go back and apologize...when I did, the boy never brought the incident up again... Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged... (Col. 3:21 KJV) I close with this last passage which is for all of us, and it especially applies to husbands and wives. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Eph. 4:31-32) Brethren, this is the word of the Lord! Christ has been so kind, compassionate and forgiving toward us; how can we refuse to be the same to those around us? We must choose to restrain our fleshly reactions, to love and to forgive. God is able to help us! 6

7 PRAYER: God, we repent of our fleshly anger, our selfish and sinful anger. Help us to be angry at the right times, but not to sin. Lord we choose to forgive and be patient with others because you have been so patient with us. Especially help us at work and around our families the people we love most. We are thankful that when we are weak, you are strong. We are confident you can help us in our times of need. Thank you, Lord, for giving us your calmness in the midst of our storms. Lord, thank you are working in our lives, transforming us to be more and more like Jesus! Amen. 7