April 21, 2013 LOVE ONE ANOTHER Week 3 HONOR ONE ANOTHER Text: Romans 12: 9, 10

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1 April 21, 2013 LOVE ONE ANOTHER Week 3 HONOR ONE ANOTHER Text: Romans 12: 9, 10 We re in week three of our relationship series and because I knew I d be speaking about honoring one another I was particularly tuned in this week to situations where honor was being demonstrated. I got home from our small group study last Sunday night, turned on the news and the lead story was coverage of Oprah Winfey s visit to our city. They showed a clip of Oprah walking onto the stage at the arena and 14,000 people stood to their feet and clapped and shouted and screamed and all of that was sustained for an extended period of time as people honored her. As people were leaving the event, with news cameras rolling there were people who gushed about how amazing it was to be in the same room as Oprah. Internally, there was a little voice that said, Marvin take note of that - that s what honor looks like. Now I know that it s not the only image of honor but keep that picture in mind as we open the scriptures to the subject of honor and honoring one another. Because our focus is primarily on one word I want to begin with definitions. Honor is one of those words that has no negative connotations - whether you look at it as a verb or a noun. The dictionary defines honor as: High respect, ascribing great value Great esteem, giving attention to We use it as a title Your Honor. We use it to describe special distinctions for proficiency she graduated with HONORS. It s a word that you find all throughout both the Old and New Testaments of the Bible. The Hebrew word is interesting. It means To be heavy To be weighty To adorn

2 In the NT the Greek word that we have translated honor means: Placing high value on someone or something Deferring to someone else. To better understand honor I want to take a moment to consider the opposite of honor. The word dishonor carries with it the idea of: Devaluing someone or something Disrespect It means to treat something or someone as common or ordinary or menial And the thing that we re going to see about honor is that honor is a gift that I give to another. Trust is earned, but honor is a gift. I give honor to someone not because they earn it or are worthy of it. When I give the gift of honor it doesn t mean that I m blind to their weaknesses or that we ve resolved all of our differences or that I fully agree with everything they do. It means that I m making a choice to ascribe high value to them. In a few moments we ll look at what it is that forms the basis for honor. I said that honor is seen throughout the scriptures. Let me quickly move through some NT scriptures on honor before we unpack our text in Rom. 12. In I Timothy 6:1 Paul directs that Christian slaves honor their masters both their master who is a Christ follower and a master who is not. Clearly the inference is that honor is extended even when the master or the boss acts dishonorably. In the same way Paul in Eph. 6:9 appeals to Christian masters to treat their slaves with honor. It flows both ways. In I Pet. 3:7 Peter directs husbands to honor their wives. Paul in Eph. 5:33 directs that wives honor their husbands. Again honor flows in both directions In the very next section Eph. 6 Paul directs children to honor their parents.

3 Then he singles out fathers in particular to honor their children by being sensitive to what it is that frustrates their child and to cultivate growth and advancement in that child. Again, honor flows in both directions. In I Peter 2:17 Peter appeals to the churches that among them there be high respect for everyone and he specifically singles out the King as one whom they needed to honor. What is noteworthy is that the King at the time of Peter s writing was Domitian. Domitian goes down in history as a cruel tyrant under whose rule Christianity was suppressed and Christians were persecuted. He declared himself to be a god. He was hated and eventually was assassinated by his own officials. Peter was writing to Christians who had been displaced from their homes by reason of the persecution because of the King. Honor the King. So clearly, honor is not earned. It s a choice it s an action I take. I quoted the Swiss physician last week. Let me give you another Tournier quote: In everyday life we are continually soaked in this unhealthy atmosphere of mutual criticism, so much so that we are not always aware of it and we find ourselves drawn unwittingly into an implacable vicious circle: every reproach evokes a feeling of guilt in the critic as much as in the one criticized and each one gains relief from his guilt in any way he can, by criticizing other people and in self-justification. Tournier is describing the world we live in an atmosphere of mutual criticism. It s the air we breathe isn t it? This call in the scriptures to extend the gift of honor is a call to create a new environment a culture of mutual honor a place where people are lifted up where accomplishments are celebrated and strengths are admired and where allowances are made for weaknesses.

4 That s the church. That s the standard of the new commandment that Jesus gave to his disciples not the OT standard of Love your neighbor as yourself but rather, Love one another as I have loved you. And then he identifies the Jesus brand By this all men will know that you are my disciples if you live out this new commandment. Let s unpack these two verses in Romans 12. In the first 11 chapters of Romans, Paul lays the theological foundation for the gospel. Then in chapter 12 and onward he lets us know how the gospel is practically lived out. Embracing God s grace in and through Jesus will change the way you live and change the way you think and it will change how you relate to others. In our text Paul ties love and honor together. Honoring another is an integral aspect of loving them. Paul writes, Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. And then in the next sentence he tells us what that devotion looks like. The NIV renders it, Honor one another above your selves. The phrase above your selves may not have captured the idea completely. The RSV helps us here,...outdo one another in showing honor. What does that mean to outdo one another in showing honor? I think it boils down to this, you focus your efforts on giving honor rather than on receiving honor. If you try to out honor someone it means that you love to honor more than you love to be honored. You enjoy elevating others. You love to honor more than you seek to be honored by others. That means I ll do two things I ll cultivate the love of honoring others AND I ll starve the cravings I have to seek honor. Outdo one another in showing honor. Honor is such a high value in the scriptures. Honor God Honor yourself Honor others. What is at the core of honor? Why is honor such a valued action?

5 First of all we honor all people simply because they are humans who are created in the image of God. I m not sure I fully understand the implications of what it means that you and I are created in God s image. Think of it somehow when I look at another human he/she reflects God back to me. Humans are not gods - but of all created things God displays the wonder of who He is as reflected in every human being. C.S. Lewis said it so well, There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. People are valuable because God has put His image in them and has stamped eternity on their hearts. When you deal with another person you are dealing with one who God designed and planned and breathed His life into one for whom God has amazing plans and purpose. So at the core of honor is the recognition that the other person is declared valuable and precious to God. That is why we honor all people. Then, there is a particular call here in our text to honor other brothers and sisters. Paul uses the term, brotherly love. It s the affection that family members have for one another. You might squabble amongst yourselves but see what happens when someone outside the family says or does something to harm a family member. In the family of God the call to outdo one another in honoring one another is a reminder that we are brothers and sisters. I honor others in the body because of the price that Jesus paid to make them family. They are forgiven for all the things that make me upset. If God has declared them righteous because of Christ then I need to see them that way. Yes, they sometimes sin and sometimes they have bad attitudes and sometimes their behavior is irritating but I honor them because the blood of Christ covers them.

6 Hey, who knows if they won t start living up to the way you treat them. Who knows if they won t act with greater honor if you treat them with honor. Finding fault in others takes almost no effort and almost never results in transformation. Affirming someone s value often requires more effort seeing their strengths and their potential requires me to look more closely and more deeply - but it s way more effective in transforming others for their good and God s glory. All of us are so much a product of others expressing their belief in us or their doubts about us. Over the years I ve been encouraged and motivated and strengthened by people who believed in me more than I believed in myself they saw my strengths when all I saw was my weaknesses. Honor always elevates and lifts and encourages. It s like God has designed life so that honor is the tool He uses to encourage others to live into His purposes for them. In the NT, Christ followers are called saints. That s how God sees you as a saint imagine if we treated one another as saints imagine if my starting point in dealing with you is your identity as a saint as one whom God is committed to seeing fully develop in all that God intended. Outdo one another in showing honor. So what does that look like? #1. It looks like putting other s interests ahead of my own. It s putting the other person s interests above my interests. It s about prioritizing. It s not that I ignore my interests or desires but it s putting others first. In Phil 2:4 Paul writes - In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus. In the following verses he launches into a description of Jesus who laid aside his rights and his privileges

7 even setting aside the privileges of deity and taking on the role of a servant serving my interests putting my well-being ahead of his. Honor is not just in the words I speak but is convey in my actions. Two OT stories come to mind by way of illustration. In Genesis 13 the story of Abraham and his nephew Lot takes a significant turn. Remember that Abraham is called by God to leave his home and to follow God s leading to the land that God would give him. He takes his nephew Lot with him. They get to a certain point in their journey and God has so prospered Abraham that there is conflict between Abraham s servants and Lot s herdsmen over grazing land and the right to territory. Abraham wants to fighting to stop so he goes to Lot and say to him let s separate - and you choose the land you want and I ll take whatever you don t want. It don t know what Abraham was expecting but we know the story Lot chooses the best, most fertile, most productive land and Abraham takes what is essentially an arid, desert area. If you were going to write the rest of Abrahams s story and you wrote God out of the equation you d naturally think that Lot prospered and Abraham withered away because Lot took advantage of the honor that had been given him. But write God into the story and because of God s favor and because God honors those who give away honor, Abraham is incredibly blessed. And then I think of David and the fascinating story that unfolds in I Sam. 24. David is on the run from King Saul. He and his men are hiding in a cave because Saul and his army are nearby. As they are waiting for the threat to pass, Saul himself comes into the cave to relieve himself. This is David s opportunity for revenge.

8 It s like God has orchestrated this moment for David to be able to get Saul out of the way so that David can ascend to the throne of Israel. With knife in hand he comes up behind Saul and instead of killing him he cuts off a piece of his robe. David s men are incensed. David, this was your chance to get rid of your enemy. This was a golden opportunity to get your life back. David responds in I Sam. 24:6 -He said to his men, The Lord forbid that I should do such a thing to my master, the Lord s anointed, or lay my hand on him; for he is the anointed of the Lord. Amazing - David honors Saul even as Saul is seeking to kill him and why? Because David recognizes that Saul is God s choice for now. If God wants to take him out that God s prerogative. We know the rest of the story. Not too much later Saul dies on the battle field and God elevates David as King of Israel. Putting the interests of others before my own. #2. Serving Others This is so much like the previous point. Again we come to a story out of the life of Jesus. Two of his disciples brothers James and John want Jesus to resolve a conflict that has been brewing among the disciples. There had been lots of discussion about who would be given the place of greatest privilege and power in the coming kingdom of Jesus. They of course were thinking in terms of an earthly, political kingdom. Jesus gathers his disciples and lets them know that greatness is found in serving. And he closes his talk with these words in Mark 10:45, For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. And as he comes to his final hours before going to the cross just before the last supper Jesus does what none of them had considered doing. He takes a towel and a basin of water and he lowers himself to do what a junior servant was supposed to do he washed their feet.

9 Why wash their feet? That s easy their feet were dirty and needed washing. It was an amazing act of honoring his disciples. If you re in a setting where there s lots of jockeying for position and posturing for power and control demonstrating honor by serving gives room for God to change the atmosphere in that setting. Acts of service are an expression of honor. I close with the story of dishonor from the life of Jesus. The gospel writer Mark includes a brief story of Jesus going back to his home town of Nazareth. At this point in his ministry he had attracted large crowds. He had healed many people. He had even laid hands on a dead girl who had come back to life. Immediately after he raises the girl from the dead he goes to Nazareth. Listen to Mark s report, Jesus said to them, A prophet is not without honor except in his own town, among his relatives and in his own home. 5 He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. 6 He was amazed at their lack of faith. Mark 6: 4-6 He had so much to offer them but because he was a hometown boy because they were familiar with him, they didn t extend the honor that would have opened the door to healings and miracles and divine provision. They were convinced that Jesus had nothing to offer that there was nothing to learn from him and in so doing they missed out on the gifts of God. It s astounding what they missed because of their unwillingness to value Jesus. Honoring others opens the door for blessings and healing and life.

10 This past week I conducted two funerals. In both services we had an open mic and in both services people came to the microphone to share memories and to bring honor. It was wonderful and the tributes were heartfelt. If you want to learn about honor attend some funerals. But let Paul s admonishment speak to us about the living, Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Outdo one another in honoring one another. This morning we ll close with a song that begins with an expression of honor to God. As we sing it together - make the connection that when we honor one another we honor God. When we honor one another in the body of Christ it speaks to the incredible value we place on the God who called us together as His people. Chorus: Lord I Give You My Heart April 21, 2013 Elim Church Saskatoon, SK It s active. It s intentional. It involves the words we speak and it involves making the decision to give the gift of honor because everything is better when you inject honor. Prayer.