Lesson on Living a Marriage in Harmony / Unity

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1 Lesson on Living a Marriage in Harmony / Unity 1.) Pray for Wisdom & Insight 2.) To the Christian - Is it possible to have a quiet and calm soul? What does it take to live in Harmony and Unity with your Spouse? Do you understand the importance to being a Peacemaker? Do you have a quiet trust and contentment with God - who helps you have strength? Do you think of your Spouse as a Companion? 3.) Introductory Scripture Psalm 133 (NLT) A pilgrims song going to Jerusalem (Heaven) 1 How wonderful and pleasant it is when brothers live together in harmony! 2 For harmony is as precious as the anointing oil that was poured over Aaron s head, that ran down his beard and onto the border of his robe. 3 Harmony is as refreshing as the dew from Mount Hermon that falls on the mountains of Zion. And there the Lord has pronounced his blessing, even life everlasting. **Describe the meaning of the word - Harmony? Synonyms for harmony are: one accord, agreement, peace, peacefulness, friendship, calmness, cooperation, understanding, consensus, like-mindedness, unity. David wrote that harmony produces wonderful and pleasant relationships. He describes how Christians can live together in a comforting and unifying manner - achieving Peace. **Does that mean Christians couples must live in harmony or agreement over every issue? No! **Explain how we are to maintain our differences and resolve conflict of opinions? There will be many options, just as there are many notes in a musical cord. But, couples must agree on their purpose in life - to work together for God. Their outward expression of harmony will reflect their inward harmony of purpose and love for each other. Brotherly harmony, like the anointing oil, shows that we are dedicated to serving God wholeheartedly in Love. It is a Choice. This lifestyle then

2 becomes a gift (reward) and blessing from God. But, we must start with the loving action to live in peace with our Companion. 4.) The Solution - Quiet Trust and Contentment in God Psalm 131(NLT) A pilgrims song going to Jerusalem (Heaven) 1 Lord, my heart is not proud; my eyes are not haughty. I don t concern myself with matters too great or too awesome for me to grasp. 2 Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself, like a weaned child who no longer cries for its mother s milk. Yes, like a weaned child is my soul (mind, will, & emotions) within me. 3 O Israel, put your hope in the Lord now and always. **Why does David point out that his heart is not proud? **How does personal pride affect how you view other people? Pride results from overvaluing ourselves above our Companion. It leads to a restlessness because it makes us dissatisfied with what we have and concerned about what everyone else is doing. It keeps us always hungering for more attention and admiration. By contrast, humility puts our Companion first and allows us to be content with God leading our lives. Such contentment gives us security so that we no longer have to prove ourselves to others. That is why David could say his soul was calm and quiet. His mind, will, and emotions were not irritable nor agitating his soul. He wanted his soul to be like one of a new baby - Calm and Quiet. This Soul position is a choice. This is how David would speak to himself in order to get back on track: Psalm 116:7 (NLT) Let my soul be at rest again, for the Lord has been good to me. 5.) Marriage Relationships - Achieving Unity How to maintain unity when there are relational differences: a.) Breaking the Conflict Barrier and Gaining Unity Genesis 13:7-8 (NLT)

3 7 So disputes broke out between the herdsmen of Abram and Lot. (At that time Canaanites and Perizzites were also living in the land.) 8 Finally Abram said to Lot, Let s not allow this conflict to come between us or our herdsmen. After all, we are close relatives! Rivalries, arguments, and disagreements between a Couple can be destructive in 4 ways: Conflict damages goodwill, trust, and peace - a foundation to Marriage Companionship. Conflict hinders progress towards achieving important goals. Both Mates become self-centered - rather than love-centered. The Husband's prayers are hindered; which also affects the Wife and Children. Life presents a series of choices and the only right choice - is to be a Peacemaker. **How do you handle conflict in your marriage? My way or the highway? (or) Proverbs 1:23 (NLT) (per God) Come and listen to my counsel. I ll share my heart with you and make you wise. **Are you tired of fighting for your own position or opinion? God wants to help us to resolve issues of conflict. Our part is to listen and not let pride stand in our way. Pride is thinking more highly of our own wisdom and desires - than of God's. Don't fall into foolish and disastrous pride when dealing with your Spouse. Be a Peacemaker and seek God. 6.) Issues Which Agitate the Soul **What issues in life irritate or agitate your Soul - Mind, Will, or Emotions? **Spouse, Fear, Jealousy, Alcohol, Traffic, Noise, Sin, TV News, Money, Children, Oppression, Sex, Gifts, Work, Employees, and etc.? a.) The first solution is to stop participating in what causes the Agitation. Over spending, alcohol, sin, watching news, internet, & etc. These agitations will affect your relationship with your Mate, Children, and Everyone else in Life. b.) The most comprehensive solution for achieving a Calm Soul is to take on God's nature of Love.

4 Galatians 5:14-15 (MSG) It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don t use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that s how freedom grows. For everything we know about God s Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That s an act of true freedom. If you bite and ravage each other, watch out in no time at all you will be annihilating each other, and where will your precious freedom be then? 1 John 2:7-8 (NLT) Dear friends, I am not writing a new commandment for you; rather it is an old one you have had from the very beginning. This old commandment to love one another is the same message you heard before. 8 Yet it is also new. Jesus lived the truth of this commandment, and you also are living it. For the darkness is disappearing, and the true light is already shining. **How does this Calmness happen? **What must I do? Ephesians 4:1-6 (NLT) Unity in the Body 4 Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. 2 Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other s faults because of your love. 3 Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. 4 For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future. 5 There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all, in all, and living through all. 7.) Conclusion Read Psalm 132 as David took a Vow to build a Temple worthy of God's presence and God made a Vow to Honor David. Psalm 132:11-12 (NLT) God's Vow 11 The Lord swore an oath to David with a promise he will never take back: I will place one of your descendants on your throne. 12 If your descendants obey the terms of my covenant and the laws that I teach them, then your royal line will continue forever and ever. Honor God by attempting to live a Life of Love as a Peacemaker and He Will Honor You with a greater Honor.

5 Lord, may you bless anyone who reads and acts upon this Lesson. Thank you. In Jesus Name. Amen!

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