A JEWISH SERVICE DURING SHIVA

Transcription

1 A JEWISH SERVICE DURING SHIVA

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3 A Need For This Shiva Service One of the main purposes of a shiva service is to comfort the mourners, but many modern Jews are troubled by the theology of traditional and even Reform prayer books. Some of us, like the Reconstructionists, celebrate the power that animates life, providing the impetus for creating goodness, courage, and caring, but identifies no divine person as the subject of prayer. Some of us believe in God as an idea that impels us to do justice, love compassion, and walk with humility as we continue our search for the divine presence. Our view is that God does not intervene supernaturally in our lives to alter the course of nature. As a result, when traditionalist theology includes statements yearning for and making requests of a Divine Being who hears and literally responds to prayer, mourners who do not believe in such a Divine Being find neither comfort nor meaning in theological statements that are based on a supernatural theology. With the foregoing in mind, we created a service for the house of mourning that should be emotionally meaningful and intellectually acceptable to many contemporary Reform Jews: Ideally, our prayers should create within us a sense of the sacred and a greater awareness of how we, as agents of God, might intervene to comfort the mourners. God responds to our prayers through our feelings and actions. 1

4 In keeping with the suggestions of some rabbis, as well as some laymen, we have kept certain traditional texts (e.g.,the Sh ma, the Kaddish, etc.) as mantras that provide a linkage to the past, providing familiarity and continuity to those who desperately seek this at their time of grief. In order to preserve these traditional prayers without compromising our intellectual integrity, we have prefaced them with phrases such as as our ancestors said, or as our ancestors believed, or as in ancient times they prayed, etc. We have attempted to have more poetry and more metaphors. We believe that it is possible to incorporate all of the foregoing views in a contemporary shiva service that reflects a non-supernatural theology while providing solace to those grieving. It is our hope that many will participate in this service that they will be able to mourn for their loved ones with language that is true to their beliefs. We hope that this Association for Progressive Judaism service will bring solace to those who are grieving. May our labors be for blessing. Rabbi Sim Prystowsky Rabbi Morton Rosenthal, z l October

5 vnjbu iurfz,kp, A Service of Remembrance and Comfort Lighting the Memorial Candle At the beginning of shivah, we light a candle that burns the whole week. We usually light candles to rejoice, to mark the beginning of a holiday or to usher in Shabbat. Now, we stand before a candle that marks both loss and connection, presence and absence. We have kindled this candle at a time of great darkness, praying that over the period of this shivah observance the love and caring that surround us will bring us back towards the light. May this flame remind us that the presence of our loved ones does not end with death. May we find comfort as we draw together in this candle's light. And may 's memory be a blessing for all who remember him/her. We Are Assembled We are assembled in this home to be with family and friends during the time of their grief. We seek comfort and strength for the bereaved, knowing full well that words fall short. Yet, we recognize, too, that all of us are mortal, and that our journey on this earth is not an infinite one. Awareness of this does not diminish the pain that family and friends experience when those we love pass away. We pray that our presence and our words will ignite within those among us who mourn a power which will sustain them as they strive to cope with their grief. 3

6 The Gift of Memory The gift of memory helps us to feel that our loved one subsists with us. By enshrining in our hearts and minds that part of that was not mortal the goodness of her/his nature, the nobility of her/his spirit, the purity of her/his soul can we make ever present in our lives. Nothing now can detract from the joy and beauty that we shared with ; nothing can possibly affect the happiness and depth of experience that he/she knew. What has been will be forever. The past, with all its meanings, is sacred and secure within our hearts. We shall remember our loved one as a living, vital presence. Our thoughts of time shared will bring refreshment to our hearts and strengthen us in times of loneliness and fear. These are reflections we treasure; for there can never be too much human warmth, too much affection, too much love. mhehsm vfrck mburfz 4

7 We continue our service using the ancient text of our ancestors. Bar chu :Q ric n v ḧ h, t Uf r C :s gü m kig k Q ric n v ḧ h QUr C Bar chu et Adonai ham vorach. Baruch Adonai ham vorach l olam va ed. Ma ariv Aravim Ir c s C r J t 'm kig v Q k«n Ubh«v«k t 'ḧ h v T t QUr C v buc, cu 'mh r g J j«,ip v n f j C 'mh c r g ch r g n, t r S x nu 'mh B n Z v, t ;h k j nu 'mh T g v B J n /IbIm r F gh «e r C m vh,ir n J n C 'mh c fif v Q J «j u 'Q J «j h b P n rit k kid 'v k h«kü mih t ric kh S c nu 'v k h«k th c«nu mih rh c g nu /rit h b P n 'mḧ e u h j k t /In J,It c m ḧ h 'v k h«k ih cu mih ih C /s gü m kig k Ubh«k g QIk n h sh n T /mh c r g ch r g n v 'ḧ h v T t QUr C Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha olam, Asher bid varo ma ariv aravim, b choch mah pote ach sh arim, uvit vunah m shaneh itim, umachalif et haz manim, um sadder et hakochavim b mish m roteihem baraki a kir tzono. Bore yom va la y lah, golel or mip nei choshech, v choshech mip nei or. Uma avir yom umevi la y lah umav dil bein yom uvein la y lah, Adonai Tz va ot Sh mo. El chai v kayam, tamid yim loch aleinu l olam va ed. Baruch Atah Adonai, hama ariv aravim. 5

8 We continue with our traditional affirmation of faith. Shema :s«j t ḧ h 'Ubh v«k t ḧ h 'k t r G h g n J /s gü m kig k I,Uf k n sic F m J QUr C Sh ma Yis ra el, Adonai Eloheinu, Adonai Echad. Baruch Shem K vod Mal chuto l olam va ed. V ahav ta 'W J p bîk f cu 'W c«c kîk f C 'Wh v«k t ḧ h, t T c vẗ u W U m n h f«bẗ r J t 'v K t v mh r c S v Uh v u /W«s«t nîk f cu m C T r C s u 'Wh b c k m T b B J u :W«c c kîk g 'mih v /W«nUe cu 'W C f J c U «Q r S c W T f k cu 'W,h c C W T c J C 'Wh«bh g ih C,«pÿ«y k Uh v u 'W sḧîk g,it k m T r J eu :Wh«r g J cu W,h C,«zUz nîk g m T c, fu V ahav ta et Adonai Elohecha b chol l vav cha uv chol naf sh cha uv chol m odecha. V hayu had varim ha eleh asher Anochi m tzav cha hayom al l vavecha. V shinan tam l vanecha v dibbar ta bam b shiv t cha b vei techa uv lech t cha vaderech uv shoch b cha uv kumecha. Uk shar tam l ot al-yadecha v hayu l totafot bein einecha, uch tavtam al m zuzot beitecha uvish arecha. m,h h v u 'h,i m nîk FÎ, t m,h G g u Ur F z T i g n k :m«fh v««kt k mh a«s e L ma an tiz k ru va asitem et kol mitz votai vi h yitem k doshim leloheichem. To Love God To love God is to affirm life B chol l vav chah With the fullness of your heart, B chol naf sh cha With the awareness of your vision, B chol m odecha With the bounty of your possession Wherever your doorposts may be. 6

9 We Shall Love We shall love what is holy With all our courage, with all our passion, with all our strength. Let the values and traditions of our tradition shine in our words and our actions. We must teach our children to know and understand them. We must speak about the holy within our homes, when we are working, when we are at play, when we lie down, and when we rise up. Let the work of our hands speak them. Let our eyes shine and see with their knowledge. Let them glow from our doors and our windows. We should remember well all the words of the Torah And be holy unto God. mhvktk mhause :W, K v T sh D h h pu j T p T h, p G h b«s t Adonai, s fatai tif tach ufi yaggid t hilatecha. Avot v Imahot 'Ubh,IN t u Ubh«,Ic t h v«kt u Ubh«v«k t ḧ h v T t QUr C 'c«e g h h v«kt u 'e j m h h v«k t 'm v r c t h v«k t /vẗ k h v«kt u 'k j r h v«k t 'vë c r h v«k t 'v r h v«k t :v r, r z g u m v r c t i d n 'ḧ h v T t QUr C Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu velohei avoteinu v imoteinu, Elohei Avraham, Elohei Yitzchak, velohei Ya akov, Elohei Sarah, Elohei Rivkah, Elohei Rachel, velohei Leah. Baruch Atah Adonai, Magen Avraham v ezrat Sarah. 7

10 Rendezvous with Adversity Who among us has not at one time or another known the sharp pain of grief, the poignant hurt of loss? Even our patriarchs and matriarchs knew the pain of death. Who has been able to insulate himself against the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or escape the disappointment and melancholy to which human flesh is heir? Is there anyone here to whom sadness is strange or anguish alien? Is there any individual from whom life has not wrung tears or whose lips have never uttered a sigh? Every mortal has an appointment with adversity, loss and death... If there is one experience that is common to all of us, then it is sorrow. This awareness that sorrow is our common lot will not restore a lost one, or heal an ailment. It should, however, save us from an outpouring of that self-pity to which we would succumb were we to feel that none has ever suffered as we. We and Our Ancestors (Silent Prayer) In our current pain and anguish, we often blame ourselves for our own failings and weaknesses. We may even dwell on the imperfections of our loved ones who are no more. During this time of our grief, our hurt can lead us downward, and our anger can result in despair. Let us not judge ourselves or our loved ones too harshly, remembering that no one is flawless not ourselves and not those for whom we mourn. So let us recognize the human condition for what it is, and be a little kinder to and more accepting of ourselves and others, as we begin our return from the darkness to the light. 8

11 Birkat Hashalom: The Blessing of Peace 'm kig k mh G T W n g k t r G h k g c r mik J /mikẍ v k f k iisẗ Q k«n tuv v T t h F k f cu, g k f C k t r G h W N g, t Q r c k Wh bh g C ciy u /mikẍ v v GIg 'ḧ h v T t QUr C /W nik J C v g J Shalom rav al Yis ra el am cha tasim l olam, ki Atah Hu Melech Adon lechol hashalom. V tov b einecha l varech et am cha Yis ra el b chol eit uv chol sha ah bish lomecha. Baruch Atah Adonai, Oseh hashalom. Peace May we learn to live in peace and to proclaim its message to all the peoples of the earth. May our country always be a stronghold of peace and its advocate among the nations. May contentment reign within its borders, health and happiness within its homes. May the bonds of friendship among the inhabitants of all lands be strengthened, and may the Divine Presence be felt in every home and every heart. muka 'Wh«b p k h C k iih d v u h p h r n t iim r k Uh v h /h k tid u h rum ḧ h Yi h yu l ratzon im rei fi v heg yon libi l fanecha Adonai, Tzuri v Go ali. May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable to You, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. (Psalm 19.15) 9

12 Aleinu ',h Jt r C r mih k v K ªs D,, k 'k«f v iis t k j«c J k Ubh«k g :Ub«fI, C g y b m kig h H j u ', n t, rit Ub«k i,«b J Aleinu l shabe ach la Adon hakol, latet g dulah l Yotzer b resheet, she natan lanu Torat emet, v chayeh olam nata b tochenu. h b p k 'mh sinu mh u j T J nu mh g rif Ub j«b t u /tuv QUr C JIsË v 'mh f k N v h f k n Q k«n Va anach nu kor im umish tachavim umodim lifnay Melech mal chei ham lachim, HaKadosh Baruch Hu. It is up to us to hallow Creation, to respond to Life with the fullness of our lives. It is up to us to meet the World, to embrace the Whole even as we wrestle with its parts. It is up to us to repair the World and to bind our lives to Truth. Therefore we bend the knee and shake off the stiffness that keeps us from the subtle graces of Life and the supple gestures of Love. With reverence and thanksgiving we accept our destiny and set for ourselves the task of redemption. '. r«ẗ v k F k g Q k«n k ḧ h vḧ v u 'r n t b u :s j t In au 's j t ḧ h v h v h tuv v mih C V ne emar v hayah Adonai l Melech al kol ha aretz. Bayom hahu yi h yeh Adonai Echad ush mo Echad. 10

13 Read one of the following Before the Kaddish #1 At the rising of the sun and at its going down, we remember them. At the blowing of the wind and chill of winter, we remember them. At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring, we remember them. At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer, we remember them. At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn, we remember them. At the beginning of the year and when it ends, we remember them. As long as we live, they too will live, For they are now a part of us, as we remember them. When we are weary and in need of strength, we remember them. When we are lost and sick at heart, we remember them. When we have joy we crave to share, we remember them. When we have decisions that are difficult to make, we remember them. When we have achievements that are based on theirs, we remember them. As long as we live, they too will live, For they are now a part of us, as we remember them. 11

14 #2 When cherished ties are broken, and the chain of love is shattered, only trust and the strength of faith can lighten the heaviness of the heart. At times, the pain of separation seems more than we can bear; but love and understanding can help us pass through the darkness toward the light. And in truth, grief is a great teacher, when it sends us back to serve and bless the living. We learn how to counsel and comfort those who, like ourselves, are bowed with sorrow. We learn when to keep silent in their presence, and when a word will assure them of our love and concern. Thus, even when they are gone, the departed are with us, moving us to live as, in their higher moments, they themselves wished to live. We remember them now; they live in our hearts; they are an abiding blessing. Commentary The Mourner s Kaddish speaks not a word about death, grief, mourning or loss. Instead, at the time of our greatest grief and sadness, our tradition instructs us to stand and recite the Kaddish as an affirmation of life in the presence of our community. Through the words of the Kaddish, we affirm that life is good, that the life of the deceased was good, and that we pledge to go on living dedicated to carrying their legacy into the future. With the ancient words of the Kaddish, we affirm our commitment to being agents for peace and healing in the world. The community listens and offers support as mourners declare this affirmation of life and peace. 12

15 Mourner s Kaddish 'V,Ug r f t r c h S t n k g C /t C r V n J J S e, h u k S D, h,h C k f s h H j cu iifh nih cu iifh H j C V,Uf k n Qh k n h u :i nẗ Ur n t u ch rë i n z cu t k d g C /k t r G h Yit gadal v yit kadash Sh meh Rabba b al ma di v ra chir uteh, v yam lich mal chuteh b cha yay chon uv yomay chon uv chayay d chol Bayt Yis ra el, ba agalah uviz man kariv, v im ru Amen. :tḧ n k g h n k g ku m k g k Q r c n t C r V n J t v h Y he Sh meh Rabba m varach l alam ul al may al maya. r S v, h u t b, h u m nir, h u r t P, h u 'j C T J h u Q r C, h i n t K«g k tuv Qh r C t J s ªe S V n J k K v, h u v K g, h u i rh n t S 't, n j b u t, j C JªT 't, rh J u t, f r C k F :i nẗ Ur n t u 't n k g C Yit barach v yish tabach v yit pa ar v yit romam v yit nase v yit hadar v yit aleh v yit halal Sh meh d kud sha, b rich Hu, l ela min kol bir chata v shirata tush b chata v nechemata da amiran b al ma, v im ru Amen. k F k g u Ubh«k g mh H j u tḧ n J i n t C r t n k J t v h :i nẗ Ur n t u 'k t r G h Y he sh lama rabba min sh maya v chayim alaynu v al kol Yis ra el, v im ru Amen. k F k g u Ubh«k g mikẍ v G g h tuv uh nir n C mik J v G«g :i nẗ Ur n t u 'k t r G h Oseh shalom bim romav Hu ya aseh shalom alaynu v al kol Yis ra el, v im ru Amen. 13

16 In Praise of the Living /t C r V n J J S e, h u k S D, h This profound praise of the living Praise for the generous gift of life. Praise for the presence of loved ones, the bonds of friendship, the link of memory. Praise for the toil and searching, the dedication and visions, the ennobling aspirations. Praise for the precious moorings of faith, for courageous souls, for prophets, psalmists, and sages. Praise for those who walked before us, the sufferers in the valley of shadows, the steadfast in the furnace of hate. /t C r V n J J S e, h u k S D, h Praise for the God of our ancestors, the Source of all growth and goodness, the Promise on which we build tomorrow. May those who are grieving find consolation as they mourn their loved one. May they find strength and courage in the time of their grief, and may a sense of life s goodness and possibilities be restored to them. May their broken hearts be healed and may they soon know peace. Amen. mikẍ v G g h tuv uh nir n C mik J v G«g :i nẗ Ur n t u 'k t r G h k F k g u Ubh«k g Oseh shalom bim romav Hu ya aseh shalom aleinu v al kol Yis ra el, v im ru Amen. May abundant peace and life from heaven be upon us and upon all Israel, and let us say: Amen. 14

17 Supplemental Readings The Fourth Crown Our Rabbis taught that there are three crowns: the crown of Torah, the crown of priesthood, and the crown of royalty; But they emphasized that the crown of a good name excels them all. The Book of Ecclesiastes says: ciy i n X n m J ciy Tov shem mishemen tov. A good name is to be treasured above precious oil. Wealth, health, even life passes away, But a good name lives forever. It is this view that the Talmud teaches: Monuments need not be erected for the righteous; Their deeds are their memorials. They will be remembered and revered For the kindness they have shown, and for the love they have given, They are shining examples of what it means to be a Mentsh. cuy ma r,fu ivhcd kg vkug 15

18 We Think of God When we were children, we thought of God as a father; When we were slaves, we thought of God as a master; When we were subjects, we thought of God as a king. But I am an adult, not a slave, not a subject, not a child who longs for God as father or mother or master. I might imagine God as teacher or friend, but those images, like king, master, father or mother, are too small for me now. God is the force of motion and light in the universe; God is the strength of life on our planet; God is the power moving us to do good; God is the source of love springing up in us. God is far beyond what we can comprehend. Commentary We can feel grief over losing someone we hardly even knew. With the loss of a young child, a new friend or a new relation, we experience the death of potential the grief over losing what might have been. Then we have no vast storehouses of memories to fall back on and few stories to comfort us, only the pain over lost opportunity to create those memories and stories. Yet we have a small spark of connection to nurture, a connection that has forever altered our lives. 16

19 Loss of a Parent You gathered incredible strength in order to die to seem calm and fully conscious without complaint, without trembling without a cry so that I would not be afraid Your wary hand slowly grew cold in mine and guided me carefully beyond into the house of death so I might come to know it Thus in the past you used to take my hand and guide me through the world and show me life so I would not fear I will follow after you confident as a child toward the silent country where you went first so I would not feel a stranger there And I will not be afraid trht tku 17

20 A Sacred Pilgrimage Birth is a beginning And death a destination; And life is a journey. From childhood to maturity and youth to age. From innocence to awareness And ignorance to knowing; From foolishness to discretion And then perhaps, to wisdom. From weakness to strength Or strength to weakness And often back again. From health to sickness and back we pray, to health again. From offense to forgiveness, From loneliness to love, From joy to gratitude, From pain to compassion. From grief to understanding From fear to faith; From challenge to challenge to challenge Until, looking backward or ahead, We see that victory lies Not at some high place along the way, But in having made the journey, stage by stage, A sacred pilgrimage. Birth is a beginning And death a destination; But life is a journey, A sacred pilgrimage To life everlasting. 18

21 We Wait Too Long Death has claimed a loved one, Thus reminding us of our own mortality. Our days on earth are limited; We know not to whom the morrow belongs. Yet we often postpone for the future Deeds which should be performed today. We wait too long to show kindness, To speak words of gratitude and concern. We wait too long to set aside hatreds, To banish petty grievances and resentments. We wait too long to forgive the hurts we have suffered, and to ask forgiveness from those we have hurt. We wait too long to set aside selfishness, To give of our time and to share our bounty. We wait too long to expand our horizons, To enlarge our minds to nourish our souls. We wait too long to make the most of our gifts, To nurture creative spirits, to strive for growth. We wait too long to give the love Which may no longer be needed tomorrow. We wait too long to discipline ourselves, To master and take charge of our lives. We wait too long to become better Jews, More learned, more devoted, more caring. In tribute to, let us now resolve To wait no longer, to delay no more; Rather, let us begin to do now, Those good things which can and should be done today. h,nht uafg tk mtu 19

22 Immortality To have made one soul the better for one s birth To have added but one flower To the garden of the earth; To have struck one blow for truth In the daily fight with lies; To have done one deed of right In the face of calumnies; To have sown in the souls of humankind One thought that will not die- To have been a link in the chain of life Shall be immortality. The Measure Of Man Not - How did he/she die? But - How did he/she live? Not - What did he/she gain? But - What did he/she give? These are the units to measure the worth Of a person as a person, regardless of birth. Not - What was his/her station? But - Had he/she a heart? And - How did he/she play his God-given part? Was he/she ever ready with a word of good cheer, To bring back a smile, to banish a tear? Not - What was his/her shrine? Nor - What was his/her creed? But - Had he/she befriended those really in need? Not - What did the piece in the newspaper say? But - How many were sorry when he/she passed away? 20

23 We Are the Ones God Sends I see your pain and want to banish it. with the wave of a star, but I have no star. I see your tears and want to dry them with the hem of an angel s gown, but I have no angel. I see your heart fall to the ground and want to return it wrapped in clothes of rainbow, but I have no rainbow. The stars and angels and rainbows are beyond us, but we are the ones sent to sit beside you until those stars come out and the angels dry your tears and your heart is back in place, rainbow blessed. After the Coldest Winter After the coldest winter, the warmth of springtime beckons, and after the darkest night, the light of dawn appears once more. After the grayest storm, a rainbow paints the sky with color and after the strongest waves, fragile seashells line the shore. After the deepest loss (we are given) the healing gift of memories to comfort and bring peace of mind when those we love are gone. 21

24 Let Us Be Honest About Death Let us be honest with ourselves about death, and not pretend that it is less or more than it is. It is separation and pain, sorrow and grief. It is the loneliness of anguished hours in which we feel our loss deeply, and the hurt of a loved one s absence keenly. It is learning to live without that familiar face and smile, that unique and needed love and understanding. And how to survive those long, vacant hours and the invincible longing that will not go away. But let us not pretend that death is more than it is. It is not annihilation. For as long as memory endures, our loved ones influence will be felt. It is not an end to love. Our need for love is deep and limitless, and it does not diminish when a loved one dies. It is not an end to joy and laughter. Nothing would less honor the gentle soul whom we now remember than protracted sadness and rivers of tears. Though our grief is real, we must not allow it to become counterfeit respect. Though our affliction is genuine, we must not allow it to hinder sweet memories and warm recollections that bring healing, relief and solace. Let us be honest with ourselves about death for that honesty will enable us to understand better and ourselves more deeply. Death cannot deprive us of happy memories, or enduring friendship, or the eternal qualities of a beloved personality. Ironically, death enhances memory; and it makes even more vivid all that was meaningful and lasting. (continued...) 22

25 Death cannot erase a life, and the love that ennobled it. True, we shall not see again; nor hear his/her familiar voice. That is, we shall not see with our eyes or hear with our ears as we saw or heard before. But with our hearts we shall see. And in the Holy of Holies of our minds we shall hear again the comforting words that even death cannot silence. As he/she has often done in life, so now even in death s memory will return to us again and again to heal the hurt of separation and to relieve the pain that death has wrought. For a Younger Person We can t know why the lily has so brief a time to bloom In the warmth of sunlight s kiss upon its face Before it folds its fragrance in And bids the world goodnight To rest its beauty in a gentler place. But we can know that nothing that is loved is ever lost, And no one who has ever touched a heart can really pass away Because some beauty lingers In each memory of which they ve been a part. 23

26 Eli Eli 'mḧ v u kij v :m kig k r n D h t«k J 'h k t 'h k t /m sẗ v, K p T 'm h«nẍ v e r C 'm h«n v k J JUr J r Eli Eli shelo yigamer le olam: hachol vehayam, rishrush shel hamayim, b rak hashamayim, t filat ha adam. O Lord, my God, I pray that these things never end: the sand and the sea, the rush of the waters, the flash of the heavens, the prayer of the heart. Psalm 15 r v C i«f J hîh n W k vẗ C rudḧîh n vü«v h s u s k rin z n :Ic c k C, n t r c«s u e s m k g«pu mh n T Q kiv :W J së v P r j u v g r Uv g r k v G gît«k Ib«J kîk g k d rît«k h t r hî, t u xẗ n b uh bh g C v z c b :Ic«r eîk g t G bît«k i, bît«k IP x F :r nḧ t«k u g r v k g C J b s C f h vü«v h yin h t«k v K t v G«g jë kît«k h e bîk g s j«j u Q J b C :m kig k Miz mor l David: Adonai, mi-yagur b aholecha, mi-yish kon b har kod shecha. Holech tamim ufo el tzedek v dover emet bil vavo. Lo-ragal al-l shono lo-asah l re ehu ra ah v cher pah lo-nasa al-k rovo. Niv zeh b einav nim as v et-yir ei Adonai y chabed nish ba l hara v lo yamir. Kas po lo-natan b neshech v shochad al-naki lo-lakach oseh eleh lo yimot l olam. Who may experience the Divine Presence? Those who are upright; who do justly; who speak the truth within their hearts; who do not slander others, or wrong them, or bring shame upon them; who scorn the lawless, but honor those who revere Life and Truth; who give their word, and, come what may, do not retract; who do not exploit others; who do not take bribes. We pray that those who live in this way shall never be shaken. 24

27 Source Citations Every effort has been made to ascertain the owners of copyrights for the selections used in this service and to obtain permission to reprint copyrighted passages. Minor adaptations have been made in some selections. Page 3 At the beginning of shiva..... Rabbi Jennifer Feldman, and We have lit this candle..... Rabbi David Teutsch, both adapted from Kol Haneshamah: Prayers From the House of Mourning, The Reconstructionist Press, 1299 Church Road, Wyncote, PA 19095, website: jewishreconbooks.org We are assembled......rabbi Seymour (Sim) Prystowsky Page 4 The gift of memory Rabbi Sherwin Wine, Celebration: A Ceremonialand Philosophic Guide for Humanists and Humanistic Jews Page 6 To love God Rabbi Edward Zerin (copywrite) Page 7 We shall love what is holy.... Adapted from Marge Piercy Page 8 Who among us has not at one time.... Rabbi Morris Adler During this time of our grief Rabbi Sim Prystowsky, inspired by a poem by Rabbi Edward Zerin, Avot: Our Fathers and Mothers (copyright) Page 9 May we learn to live in peace..... Adapted from Grant Us Peace, Gates of Prayer: The New Union Prayerbook, 1975 by the Central Conference of American Rabbis, under the copyright protection of the CCAR and reprinted for use by permission of the CCAR, all rights reserved. 25

28 Page 10 Hebrew of Alaynu l shabe ach Kol Haneshamah... It is up to us to hallow Rabbi Rami M. Shapiro, Kol Haneshamah... Page 11 At the rising of the sun Rabbi Sylvan Kamens and Rabbi Jack Reimer, New Prayers for the High Holy Days, 1970 Page 12 When cherished ties are broken Gates of Prayer: The New Union Prayerbook Commentary on Kaddish.... Rabbi Eitan Weiner-Kaplow, Kol Haneshamah... Page 14 This profound praise Rabbi Harvey J. Fields; permission given by the author s wife Page 15 Our Rabbis taught Based on Pirke Avot 4.17, from The Fourth Crown, in A Minyan of Comfort, The Prayer Book Press, 1996 (adapted) Page 16 When men were children Ruth Firestone Brin, A Woman s Meditation, in Harvest: Collected Poems and Prayers; permission given by the poet s daughter, Judith Brin Ingber and by We can feel grief Rabbi Seth Goldstein, Kol Haneshamah... Page 17 You gathered incredible strength Blaga Dmitrova Page 18 Birth is a beginning Rabbi Alvin Fine 26

29 Page 19 We wait too long Rabbi Morris Adler, Prayer, National Jewish Monthly, July 1958, p.7 Page 20 Immortality Edwin Hatch The measure of a Person Anonymous Page 21 I see your pain and want to banish it.... Ann Barr Weems, from Searching for Shalom: Resources for Creative Worship, copyright 1991 by Ann Barr Weems. This poem may be used in an order of service and printed in an accompanying bulletin for use by the congregation. For all other uses please contact the publisher, Westminster John Knox Press, 100 Witherspoon St., Louisville, Kentucky, After the coldest winter Author Unknown Pages Let us be honest..... Rabbi Stephen Weisberg Page 23 We can t know why the lily Ellen Brenneman Page 24 O Lord, my God Hannah Senesh This service was written and compiled by Rabbi Seymour (Sim) Prystowsky and Rabbi Morton Rosenthal, kwzm. Formatting and editing assistance provided by Rabbi David E. Ostrich. Rabbinic Committee: Aaron Bisno Hillel Cohn Alan Fuchs Martin Rozenberg Harvey Tattelbaum Edward Zerin 27

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