Sermon Series: David: Following God s Heart 1 Samuel 25 When Conflicts Arise

Transcription

1 Sermon Series: David: Following God s Heart 1 Samuel 25 When Conflicts Arise 1 Pastor Brian Long: March 13th, 2016 Big Idea: When conflicts arise act out of your faith, not your flesh. If you have a pulse, you ve encountered conflict in your life. Learning to manage conflict and navigate through it in a productive or constructive way is a mandatory life skill we all need to develop. An article on Forbes.com reports the typical manager spends percent of her time dealing with workplace conflicts. That s 1-2 days per week. Just think about how much productivity is being wasted! ( Another study found that U.S. employees spend 2.8 hours per week dealing with conflict, equating to approximately $359 billion in paid hours in 2008 ( When it comes to getting a feel for how much conflict we face as a culture, you can just look at the rising numbers of lawsuits. Each year, 15 million civil cases are filed in the U.S. ( blog/entry/infographic-lawsuits-in-america). It has been discovered that organizations adopting conflict resolution processes, like mediation and arbitration, report 50-80% reductions in litigation costs. ( workplace-conflict-statistics.html). One of the great blessings of being a Christian, getting to know the Bible, and journeying through life with the Holy Spirit s influence is that Christians have a ton more resource to draw from when it comes to understanding how to respond when conflicts arise. We have direct teaching about negotiating conflict in the bible. We have the example of Jesus who was the image of God in bodily form. And we have some real life, flesh and blood, fully human examples from other God loving, God following people.

2 2 David is one of those great examples to us. This is why we ve been taking a close look at David s life. David was not a super-human. He was not a angel-like being, made of different stuff than you and me. And David wasn t a perfect person. This is what makes him a worthy role model. He was a human like you and me full of strong emotions and strong desires yet he is described as a man after God s own heart. In other words, David shows us how imperfect people are to follow hard after God seeking to align our lives with his life align our will after his will and experience his divine favor and forgiveness after the worst choices or worst moments in our lives. I think each and every one of us need the inspiration of David s life. Today we come to 1 Samuel 25. This is the 2nd in a consecutive string of 3 stories of vengeance here in 1 Samuel chapters 24, 25, and 26. The writer is clearly attempting to show us three different examples of David s virtuous character as he avoids the temptation or opportunities when conflicts arise to act out of his fleshly human emotions and get revenge. Given the amount of conflict we often encounter in our lives, we can really benefit from these lessons from David s life. Background and set up for the story You might recall from last week, we left off with David and Saul reaching an apparent peace agreement after David refuse to kill Saul though he had the perfect chance in a cave near En Gedi. Saul went back to Jerusalem and David went up to one of his favorite strongholds. When our chapter opens Saul is still acting King. The wise, godly respected prophet Samuel has died. And David has now moved south a bit further in the desert wilderness area west of the Dead Sea. He probably sought refuge in this wilderness area because it was part of the region of land his family was allotted generations earlier. People in that region were generally his kinsmen. By this time David had picked up another couple hundred guerrilla fighters. As part of their way of giving back to the region, you might say, they protected the shepherds and huge flocks owned by a man named Nabal. Part of their security detail involved fighting against the wild tribes that would suddenly overrun an area, steal livestock, and

3 3 assault small villages. David and his men were effectively serving as Nabal s private security team for his shepherds and his numerous flocks. Things seem to be working nicely but suddenly a conflict arises. Let s pick up the story in verse When conflicts arise it s tempting to react out of anger and revenge. It was customary then, when the time came for the sheep to be sheared, the owner of the animals would set aside a portion of the profit he made and give it to those who had protected his shepherds while they were out in the fields. It was a bit like tipping the waiter. There was no law saying you had to do it, but is was the customary way of showing gratitude for a job well done. The fact that David only dispatched 10 men indicates that he was not requesting a huge amount of provision certainly not provisions for 600 men. It was more of a, Hey, out of the kindness of your heart, can I get a little help here after all the help we gave you out of the kindness of our hearts? David s approach was friendly and respectful. Long life to you! Good health to you and your household! And good health to all that is yours! But Nabal did not meet David s kind and legitimate request for some provisions, in exchange for the security duty with the same kindness. Every description of Nabal in this chapter screams that Nabal was a classic piece of work! When you synthesize all the descriptive words and phrases used to describe Nabal s character and personality, here s what you get: Nabal was super-wealthy. Literally, the Hebrew means heavy so Nabal was loaded. He was a Calebite as meaning one who is rough, stubborn and thoughtless. In addition it indicates Nabal s status as being from the most prominent clan in the area.

4 4 His name meant fool which in that day didn t mean someone who was simpleminded it meant someone who said, There is no God. Used of the man who has no perception of ethical and religious claims. A person who was ignoble, disgraceful The text also says he was evil in his dealings which meant he was dishonest. The Hebrew here literally means Nabal was Satan s offsping. In short, Nabal was stingy, harsh, unreasonable, difficult to deal with. No one could talk to him. He was demanding, deceptive, and unfair. Though David and his men did a stellar job protecting Nabal s shepherds and sheep, and even though they came to him with kindness, he flew off at them, mocked them, and insulted them. When this news hits David s ears he erupts! Oh NO!!! This is our hero David This is our role model This is our man after God s own heart This is a man who just a few months earlier felt keen inner conviction, acts out of faith, and refuses to retaliate and get revenge against Saul in the cave. Not today. Instead of acting out of faith, he reacts out of his flesh and anger. Maybe David was having a hard day. Maybe he was hungry. He probably had the barbeque nice and hot expecting his guys would come back with some lamb chops. Instead all Nabal sent to David was insult. David is irate. He rallies 400 men to go squash one tightwad. It s an overreaction. David is over reacting in anger. We can probably all identify with David s justification; There is no reason why Nabal should treat me like this. He s repaying my kindness with insult. I ll teach him he can t trifle with me. It s one thing to take it from Saul, who is my superior at this point, but this sort of man this ungrateful tightwad needs to be taught a lesson.

5 5 I think we can all identify with David at this point. It s so natural for us to react out of our emotions and our sense of justice or our sense of selfrespect and pride. The temptation to revenge and to defend our honor is super powerful. When conflicts arise the temptation to smack down the blatantly arrogant, the stingy, the self-centered, or the disrespectful people at the root of the conflict, is nearly irresistible. We ve all felt it. But, is it the right thing to do? Is it the best approach? Is it what God calls us to? While David quickly gears up to personally settle the score with Nabal, Nabal s wife Abigail quickly gears up to try and convince David there is a better way. Rather than react out of the flesh, Abigail tries to convince David to react out of faith, not anger. Look at When conflicts arise it is far better to react out of faith. Wow Abigail is impressive, yes? In verse 3 we learn that Abigail is as intelligent as she is beautiful. As soon as she learns of Nabal s folly, she gets to work putting together quite a spread in hopes of filling David s raging hunger for revenge. Notice Abigail s wisdom and godly perspective. Notice she falls on her face. This self-abasing expression of deep respect was immediately followed by a nonverbal plea for mercy as she fell at his feet (v. 24). Only after these acts did she begin to speak. Six times she refers to herself as your maid servant. And 8 times she calls David, my lord. Let s review more fully Abigail s message: Nabal s a fool she acknowledges what everyone knows. She taps into what David is irritated about. I did not see or hear your servants when they came. God has kept you from bloodshed and vengeance. She seems to be aware of Saul s pursuit and David s refusal to take revenge from chapter 24. You should avoid bloodshed and vengeance with all your enemies in the future. Let the supplies I brought to your men appease your anger.

6 6 God s definitely got special plans for you. A lasting dynasty will be yours. She seems to be aware of his victory over Goliath as she uses the hurl from sling metaphor to describe how God will deal with his enemies brilliant! Finally, when God avenges you and you have success, remember me. In the longest speech by a woman in the Old Testament, Abigail successfully prevents David from bringing judgment down on himself by reacting out of sinful anger rather than reacting out of faith. She essentially says to David, when I look at you I see the next King. God has major plans for you and you don t need this bloodshed and revenge on your hands. You ve been wronged, but murder isn t the answer. Wait David, wait on the Lord. Don t react out of anger, act out of faith David. Let God handle this! David listens and accepts Abigail s counsel. Though David was angry and bent on revenge his heart is humble enough to recognize the error of his ways and he accepts the wise counsel of Abigail. David s willingness to receive feedback and input, and admit when wrong is a huge sign of his humility and heart for God. (I have heard your words and accept your gift). If you re looking for the Biblical justification for the saying, A way to a man s heart is through his stomach, this would be the text. In this reaction to Abigail is where David s true heart shines through. This is why he s described as a man after God s own heart. He s humble. He s teachable. He s wiling to listen and admit when he s wrong. He s willing to admit how important it is not to react out of anger, but to act out of faith and trust God to show you a better way. Abigail exhorts David, Don t react in anger, and retaliate against your enemies, let God take care of your enemies. You ll get much better results. Watch how quickly Abigail s words are proven true. Look at verses Acting out of faith always leads to much better results. Isn t this a sad, pathetic picture? Abigail had just brilliantly saved her foolish husband s life, and he was too drunk to even hear the story.

7 7 I wonder how Abigail felt at this point she just finished putting her own life on the line for her foolish husband, and he s so out of it she can t share the story. I imagine she went to bed, fluffed the covers, and wondered if she d ever have a husband who would value her, and appreciate her. I imagine she prayed herself to sleep crying out to God for his best in her life and she drifted off assuring God she d trust him no matter what. In the morning when Nabal sobered up, she tells him the story of how she halted 401 angry, hungry men from taking Nabal s life and he stroked out. Ten days later he died. Isn t it amazing! When you do what is right, and take the high road rather than take matters into your own hands, and trust God for his outcome.god takes care of the rest. Just as she assured David, the Lord had taken care of the situation without David having to act out in anger. There is no situation God cannot handle. He might not handle it your way, but he ll handle it the best way. Before I suggest some practical ways for us to act out of our faith when conflicts arise, let s wrap up the story. A word about David s multiple wives The concluding verses of the story tell us when Nabal dies, David ends up taking Abigail as his wife. Then it says David had also taken Ahinoam as his wife, not to mention Michal, who is also technically still his wife even though Saul had given her to Paltiel to spite David. And so here we come face to face with a big head scratcher for our man after God s own heart. Clearly God set his standard and definition of marriage at one man, one woman. (Deut. 17:17; 1 Kings 11:2; 1 Chronicles 14:3). Though the Lord forbade polygamy, David succumbed to the custom of the day. Yet, we never see God directly judge David or others like Abraham, or Solomon for their choice to take on multiple wives. However, what we do see in every instance are the natural painful, consequences that God

8 8 warned would occur with multiple wives. Every man who chose multiple wives paid dearly for their sins (1 Chron. 14:3). For reasons unknown, God seems to choose the indirect approach. Rather than leveling a direct judgment, he allows the full weight of the heart wrenching consequences to come over them. In David s case at least, perhaps God s choice not to judge it directly expresses the mercy, grace, and tolerance God has when the heart is submissive and responsive to Him. As a result of his sin in this area, David suffered pain and heartache in his leadership and as a father, not to mention his personal life and relationship with God. We see this even more dramatically in Solomon s life and leadership. Now, since this story has been teaching us when conflicts arise to act out of our faith not our flesh, let me suggest some practical ways for us to do that Practical ways to react out of faith, not flesh When conflicts arise, be wise. Look at the whole picture. Remember past lessons. Resist jumping to conclusions. Resist being hasty. Whenever possible, put on the brakes! Slow down. Hold your tongue. Wise decisions are seldom made in a hurry. And quick words are often regretted. If we re not careful, we ll be tempted to handle conflicts in the energy of the flesh. And then we ll be sorry. When you re angry, do your best to listen to reasonable people around you. They are God s gracious gift to you when you might not be in your best frame of mind. When David had an opportunity to take revenge against Saul, he avoided acting out of the flesh and he entrusted the matter to God s hand. In our story today, however, he reacts out of his flesh and loses control over his feelings and behaviors. Even David needs God s

9 9 gracious intervention on such occasions. God sent Abigail to him at the right time. David was fired up and bent on revenge. But, somehow he manages to control his emotions enough to listen to Abigail s whole speech without interrupting her. When he was being tempted to take revenge on Saul, it seems he listened to the Spirit s inner conviction. Here, he listens to the reason of Abigail. The common thread is in the midst of his own emotions he remains open to listen to the other side. Instead of reacting, wait on the Lord. Acting out of faith, often requires waiting on the Lord and trusting his path through.. Sometimes he changes the situation. Sometime he changes you. Psalm 40:1-2, I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. 2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock. Waiting requires some discipline and self-control as you manage your anger. The most common recommendations for learning how to manage your anger involve the important step of waiting. There are all sorts of strategies that help us give pause, and allow ourselves to regain our right minds. You can take deep breaths, go for a walk or hit the gym, slowly repeat a calming or meaningful phrase, you might recite a verse in that moment. Each of these helps us move out of emotional reactive mode and open the way to act out of our faith mode. It allows us to gather ourselves and take time to pray, reflect on the Scripture and, seek wise counsel. In your ongoing desire to be a man or woman after God s own heart, remember when conflicts arise act out of your faith, not your flesh. Church of the Foothills 2015