Grace Bible Church of Auburn, Ca.

Transcription

1 Marriage & Family God s Way: Submission of the Wife Eph 5:15-6:4 Part 3 I. Introduction A. One of the reasons we have Feminism today is BETTY FREIDAN B. catalyst and leader in the current feminist movement C. For her fifteenth college reunion in 1957 she sent questionnaires to members of her class asking them to describe their lives since college. D. From their answers and other research came the book, The Feminine Mystique, published in instant best-seller, 2. Sections printed in major women's magazines 3. Became a celebrity. 4. Its thesis that suburban middle-class housewives were not necessarily fulfilled by housewifery and childbearing engendered hundreds of letters from unhappy, dissatisfied women who realized that Friedan had identified their "problem with no name." She called it the "feminine mystique," the theory that women's fulfillment could be found only in motherhood and family. She criticized psychiatrists, social scientists, educators, and businesspeople who used the mystique to encourage women to live segregated lives in the suburban ghettos of the postwar world. E she helped found the National Organization for Women (NOW). 1. President during its first three years, 2. She wrote NOW's founding statement demanding full equality for women in the mainstream of American life. 1

2 3. Led the organization in its decisions in 1967 to support the Equal Rights Amendment for women and legalized abortion. 4. When she stepped down from the presidency in 1969, she suggested that NOW sponsor a national strike on August 26, 1970, to commemorate the fiftieth anniversary of women's obtaining the vote. It succeeded far beyond her expectations: the New York rally alone attracted fifty thousand women. F. Friedan and other feminists criticized women's role as primary caretaker of the family because they believed that status and success could be achieved only through work outside the home. G. But by the 1980s, she and others had come to believe that women and men desire both the prestige and fulfillment that come from work outside the home and the love and identity gained through marriage and children. = superwoman! H. SO wrote another book! - The Second Stage (1981) 1. Friedan argued that feminism had become too woman-centered in the 1970s and had polarized the relationship between the sexes. 2. She urged feminists to move away from this stance and join with men and even conservatives on these new family issues. I. Now do you think the woman s movement of this country embraced her call to change? YES! J. Now we have both! Radical Feminists still on the extreme AND Superwomen TRYING to do both Family AND Career! K. This woman RETRACTED ultra-feminism and USHERED in Superwoman-ism of today! BL: one of MANY feminists tearing apart MARRIAGE today! 2

3 L. WELL Let s not LEARN the wife s role from Betty Freidan but rather from the Word of God! M. TURN TO Passage to read 3 Eph 5:15 Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, 16 making the most of your time, because the days are evil. 17 So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; 20 always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father; 21 and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. 22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. II. N. Proposition: Submission of the Wife 1. The Requirement of Submission: V.22a 2. The Reality of Submission: V.22b 3. The Reason for Submission: V The Reaffirmation of Submission: v.24 Review: The REQUIRED CONTEXT of Submission A. The FALL: Gen 3:16 your desire will be for your husband 1. The FALL DIRECTLY HIT MARRIAGE 2. Fallen Marriage as the built-in source of conflict a) Husband RULES over WIFE b) WIVE desires to CONTROL / RULE OVER Husband 3. Genesis: the following sins introduced that directly affect marriage: polygamy, fornication, immorality, adultery, homosexuality, unequally yoked marriages, incest,

4 prostitution and seduction! 4. Not a very good start for mankind! 4 B. The FACTS: History showed that FALLEN marriage FELL FAR by Paul s time! 1. It CONTINUES to SUFFER from CURSE of the FALL! C. The FOUNDATION of Marriage: 1. The Presupposition: Walking in Wisdom (Eph 5:15-18) a) ONLY a MARRIAGE WALKING in WISDOM can FULFILL God s plan / pattern / purpose! b) CAN T do this in the FLESH! c) Not by Human METHOD! d) Each individual HAS to have his/her WALK RIGHT for a RELATIONSHIP be RIGHT! e) And when you are walking in wisdom WHO is the POWER that ENABLES your walk? 2. The Power: Filled with the Spirit (5:18b) a) None of what is going to follow is POSSIBLE WITHOUT the power of the Holy Spirit! b) Parallel: Ga 5:16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. 17 For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please. c) Now look at your marriage! Is it characterized by: 19 Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, 21 envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

5 d) OR is it Characterized by 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, selfcontrol; against such things there is no law. e) And remember this doesn t just happen by a let go and let God attitude about your marriage! 24 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. (1) Have to crucify the flesh and walk by the Spirit! f) Christians today TURN TO PYSCHOLOGY and METHODOLGY to improve marriage! God as ONLY given us the HOLY SPIRIT to DO THAT! (1) The PROBLEM is SIN / SOLUTION is the SPIRIT 3. TRANSITION a) The PRESUPPOSITION is that you are WALKING in WISDOM FILLED with the SPIRIT b) THE POWER is the HOLY SPIRIT! (Not the Flesh!) c) If both of these STONES in the FOUNDATION are SOLID, then the PERSONS involved in a relationship will be 4. The Persons: V speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; 20 always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father; 21 and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. a) FOUR RESULTS of A SPIRIT-FILLED LIFE! (1) Speaking (2) Singing (3) Saying Thanks (4) Submitting to each other b) If your HOUSE is FULL of these things, Marriage will be BLISS! 5

6 5. The Prominences (v.22-6:9) a) The Prominence of the Lord in the Home (1) 22 TIMES Christ is referred to in these verses! (2) AND read through these verse look at the PROMINENT position of the LORD in all roles / activities in the HOME! (3) Is there ANY DOUBT that God EXPECTS a CHRIST-CENTERED HOME? b) The Prominence of the Man of the Home (1) 3 relationships with MAN at HEAD (a) Wife to Husband (b) Children to Parents (c) Slaves to Masters (2) Big Point in Marital Counseling: Husband, the buck stops with you at the Bema Seat! (3) BUT the PROMINENCE of CHRIST SUPERCEDES the PROMINENCE of the MAN! c) The Prominence of the Home (1) 3 relationships ALL in the Home (a) Wife to Husband (b) Children to Parents (c) Slaves to Masters d) BL: UNITY in the BODY of CHRIST (1) BEGINS with the PROMINENCE of CHRIST in the HOME! (2) BY Spirit-filled Believers! e) Turn to Col 3:18 Need to see these SAME PROMINENCES in Colossians 6 Col 3:18 Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered

7 against them. 20 Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart. 22 Slaves, in all things obey those who are your masters on earth, not with external service, as those who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve. 25 For he who does wrong will receive the consequences of the wrong which he has done, and that without partiality. 1 Masters, grant to your slaves justice and fairness, knowing that you too have a Master in heaven. III. (1) All the same prominences (a) The Lord (b) The Man (c) The Home f) You can KNOW that the teaching of Eph 5 is COMPLETELY BIBLICAL and not an OBSCURE DOCTRINE EITHER! 6. The Principles a) Submission: Eph 5:21 / Eph 5:22 / Eph 6:1 / Eph 6:5 b) Sacrifice: Eph 5:25 / Eph 5:2 The Requirement of Submission: V.22a 22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, A. COMMAND: be subject 1. Carried down from V.21 = keep continually being subject 2. Verb form of v.21 important = MIDDLE voice a) Active Voice = you do the action: the boy hit the ball b) Passive Voice = action from receiving side: the ball was hit by the boy c) Middle Voice = More PERSONALLY relate the 7

8 SUBJECT to the ACTION and RESULT. (1) Emphasis you participating in the action and results. (2) Stresses the subject: It, in some way relates the action more intimately to the subject (3) Participating in the results: difference between (a) Submit yourself (action) (b) Be subject (look at from the result) 3. Conclusion: a) EMPHASIZES that WIVE is PERSONALLY DOING the SUBMITTING b) FOCUS is on the RESULTANT STATE of being Subject 4. be subject = to arrange under = military term = submit, obey, be in subjection to B. to your own husband = very clear RESTRICTION on WHO you are to submit to! 1. ONLY to your own husband! C. Going to see below 1. = same submitting that the Church does to Christ = emphasizes the Authority / Subject relationship = obedience 2. V.24 adds in everything a) NOT everything, everything b) = everything in the CONTEXT of marriage, Ephesians and Christianity! D. Restriction of Submission: 1. Peter taught us 1 Pe 2:13 Submit yourselves for the Lord s sake to every human institution, Very clear! 8

9 2. But in Acts we read the Story of the disciples spreading the gospel: a) The Disciples had been order to stop preaching about Christ b) They disregarded this order and were caught doing it again c) So, they were taken back to the Jewish Council Ac 5:27 When they had brought them, they stood them before the Council. The high priest questioned them, 28 saying, We gave you strict orders not to continue teaching in this name, and yet, you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching and intend to bring this man s blood upon us. 29 But Peter and the apostles answered, We must obey God rather than men. d) Of course the counsel wants to kill them e) Gamaliel intervenes and advises that council to not be too harsh Ac 5:40 They took his advice; and after calling the apostles in, they flogged them and ordered them not to speak in the name of Jesus, and then released them. 41 So they went on their way from the presence of the Council, rejoicing that they had been considered worthy to suffer shame for His name. 3. What s the principle here? Do we obey every human institution or not? 4. A: OBEY unless be TOLD to DISOBEY GOD! 5. Same true in marriage: Obedience to God is greater than obedience to husband! 6. That s the RESTRICTION on OBEDIENCE! E. BUT that s the ONLY restriction! 1. NO OTHER REASON to NOT SUBMIT! 2. BUT you don t know my husband! a) God does and he says submit! 9

10 3. I don t agree with him and I know better! SUBMIT 4. We don t have anything in common SUBMIT F. AGAIN CONTEXT! 1. This ONLY works with SPIRIT-FILLED BELIEVERS! 2. A Spirit-filled WIFE KNOWS that God will bless her submission in a situation of a not-spirit-filled husband. a) She knows that not submitting will be even worse! b) Her Husband AND God will be against her! 3. AND Don t focus on the corner cases! a) IF both sides are Spirit-filled, this leads to the most blessed of marriages! b) Why? We ll see that the husband is to SACRIFICE for his wife and (1) Love her as Christ loves the Church (2) And treat her as he cares for his own body! 4. Don t RUIN your chance at a heavenly marriage by NOT doing YOUR SIDE of the EQUATION! G. AND who s our example of Submission? 1. A: Jesus Christ Submission EXISTS in the Godhead we ve talked about this 2. 1 Cor 11:3 God is the Head of Christ a) Christ does the Will of God the Father b) Holy Spirit does the Will of Christ (John 16:13) 3. No one is being asked to do something that is not already done in the Godhead 4. If you need to go back to the 2 previous sermons that built the base for where we are today and SEE THIS! H. BUT are there good biblical examples of submissive wives? Peter said there are! 1. In 1 Peter 3:1-6 Peter teaches Christian wives WITH UNSAVED HUSBANDS how to submit to them! 10

11 2. And after his teaching he calls them to see the illustration of OT women! 1 Peter 3:5-6 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. 3. Peter I m not telling you ANYTHING NEW about submission! 4. For in this way = IDENTIFIES this as ILLUSTRATION a) NOT as DOCTRINE b) ILLUSTRATION does not HAVE to TIE OUT EVERY DETAIL of the DOCTRINAL passage c) Hence, ILLUSTRATION (1) FOCUSES on OT SAVED women (2) NOT on the STATE of their HUSBANDS! (3) Doesn t VIOLATE the TEACHING to BELIEVING WIVES with UNBELIEVING husbands. 5. in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God a) OT woman saints b) holy women = those who hoped in God! = Believers c) NOT focusing on women of EXTREME HOLINESS - JUST FOCUSING on SAVED OT WOMEN d) Hoped in God = continuously believed in God = idiom for belief 6. used to adorn themselves, = Peter continues the adornment metaphor from the previous verses 7. How did they adorn themselves? being submissive to their own husbands; 11

12 a) Ties all the way back up to v.1 and includes all the description in between just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, a) Let s get specific! Sarah and Abraham! b) obeyed (1) Switches from SUBMISSION to OBEDIENCE! (2) obeyed = Synonym to submission that focuses more on specific action than the underlying attitude. (3) When is Peter referring to? (a) = whole married life of Sarah and not one instance. (b) There is one instance in Gen 18:12 where she did call him lord so there is an example. (c) BUT best to say her life was characterized by obedience (d) Peter is teaching these wives to have a life characterized by obedience (e) Sarah was a good example c) calling him lord, (1) CONSTANTLY, CONTINUALLY, called him lord (2) IOW = quick illustration that she CONSTANTLY, CONTINUALLY, submitted / obeyed him. (3) = ATTITUDE/ACTIONS of COMPLETE submission 9. and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. a) and you have become her children (1) =Sarah is a valid, good example to you BECAUSE you became like her spiritually when you became Christian 12

13 (2) You came to have the SAME SPIRITUAL NATURE (child of Submission) as SARAH. (3) Same way that Abraham is spoken of as the Father of believers (Rom 4; Gal 3) (4) When you do what is right (obey God), YOU SHOW you are CHILDREN of SUBMISSION AS SARAH was. b) if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. (1) Peter now both EXPLAINS and gives PURPOSE to being Sarah s children children of Submission (2) Christian wives are children of submission in that (explain) / for the purpose that (purpose clause) THEY DO GOOD and LET NOTHING FRIGHTEN THEM. c) if you do what is right (1) Same phrase seen over and over again in 1 Peter (2) = DO WHAT IS RIGHT BY GOD S STANDARD! d) without being frightened by any fear. (1) Women in this context HAVE MUCH TO FEAR (a) Remember HUSBAND had POWER of life and death over them. (b) Today UNSAVED Husbands aren t BOUND to Scriptural principles MUCH DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (2) Peter assures wives that God knows what they face and they SHOULD NEVER, EVER be afraid of what HE MAY DO. (3) any = not once, EVER be afraid. (4) Peter has ALREADY TOLD her WHO TO FEAR 3:2 FEAR GOD! (in fear behavior) 13

14 IV. e) Sum= Submission, AS SEEN in SARAH = ALWAYS obeying GOD, NEVER EVER fearing your husband. f) SHE and the other women OT saints are examples to all women for all time! I. Transition that s the REQUIREMENT, BUT here s the KEY to it ALL The Reality of Submission: V.22b 22 as to the Lord. A. = as you submit to your husband, so you also submit to the Lord B. If a large circle represents your life of submission to the Lord, 1. The within that circle is a SMALLER CIRCLE of submission to your husband C. BUT don t be confused YOU ARE SUBMITTING DIRECTLY to your husband! 1. This SUBMISSION is BECAUSE the LORD COMMANDS it 2. AND submission is CONSISTENT to the LORD s WILL a) Submitting in areas where not being asked to sin 3. AND this submission is with the SAME ATTITUDE as you submit to the LORD a) Willingly b) Pleasingly, joyously, etc. c) A BAD Attitude is WRONG both to your husband and to the Lord! d) Can t Say Look, I did what you told me to do, but that doesn t mean I have to like it or smile about it D. Remember too V.21 be subject to one another in the fear of Christ 1. The OTHER CONSIDERATION concerning the Lord is FEAR 14

15 2. Fear = fear that He will chasten you when your life gets off the track of holiness! E. We talked about the PROMINENCE of the Lord in this whole section last week (and JUST REVIEWED IT) 1. Christ is first and foremost a) In the WAY we submit b) In the REASON we submit c) In the EXAMPLE of submission times Christ is mentioned from 5:22-6:9 F. We may not have time today, BUT we will look at all of the KEY PARALLEL passages that teach these same principles 1. Just so you know this command 22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord HAS PARALLELS 2. In fact, this whole section is taught in Colossians 3:18-4:1 Col 3:18 Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 3. Peter even tells wives who have unsaved husbands: 1 Pe 3:1 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, a) disobedient to the word = unsaved husband G. BL: Wives SUBMITTING to HUSBANDS 1. IS in the SAME WAY as you SUBMIT to the LORD 2. IS PART OF your SUBMISSION to the LORD 3. IS done in the fear of Christ per v.21 such that He will chasten / correct you if you get off the path of holiness in your role as a wife! H. Transition that s the basic command as seen in 1. The Requirement & The Reality 15

16 2. Next week V. The Reason for Submission: V VI. The Reaffirmation of Submission: v.24 VII. CONCLUSION A. Just as in Christ s day, Paul s day and every day since the FALL, SUBMISSION of the wife has been under attack. B. IF you are a wife, KNOW THIS 1. YOU will be ultimately HAPPIER and MORE FULFILLED in marriage IF YOU WILLINGLY and LOVINGLY SUBMIT to your Husband 2. YOUR husband will be the same happier and more fulfilled 3. IF your husband is not doing his role, God will use this to convict him that only one of you is being godly in the marriage! 4. IF you are also a MOTHER - KNOW also that your daily ATTITUDE and ACTION is what TRAINS your CHILDREN a) Your HOUSE is where YOUR CHILDREN will RECEIVE a PHD in how to be married! C. God ONLY BLESSES OBEDIENCE D. ANYTHING LESS than living this standard WILL ONLY HURT YOUR MARRIAGE as God will not bless it and may well chasten it. E. AND most IMPORTANTLY to do this YOU MUST BE FILLED WITH THE SPIRIT 1. You CANNOT do this in the FLESH 2. You CANNOT do this with methodology, psychology, any world-ology!

17 F. Go back and Look at Gal 5:19-23 and see where YOUR MARRIAGE is AND WHAT PART you HAVE in that! G. Commit to be filled / controlled by the Spirit and you will have the FRUIT of the SPIRIT IN YOUR MARRIAGE! Ga 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 17