Transformed! Sexual purity in a sex-crazed society

Transcription

1 !1 Grace Church of Napa Valley Pastor John Fernandez Transformed! Sexual purity in a sex-crazed society What is God s plan for sex? It is to be enjoyed only in Monogamous marriage. God invented sex. He created man male and female (Genesis 1:27). HE created the woman and man s physical make up and put them their sexual hormones. He created it so that not only would the race propagate but enjoy the oneness of sex. In Genesis 2:21-25 GOD brought the woman to the man and told them to permanently commit to one another leave father and mother and cleave to one another. That is what marriage is: the public commitment of a man and woman to cleave to one another alone for life. It was after this commitment (in marriage) that God said they were to become one flesh. Sex was to come after marriage, not before it, or outside of it. The 7 th and 10 th commandments reaffirmed this you shall not commit adultery.. you shall not covet your neigbors wife. Jesus affirmed it in Matthew 5:27-28 You have heard it said you shall not commit adultery. I say to you do not lust after a woman. For who lusts commits adultery in his heart. God s plan for sex is for our good and joy! It is rooted in his wisdom and goodness. He created human sexuality including every hormone. He knows what is the best use of it. Sex only in marriage is part of His wise good plan for man s happiness. Live God s way! He says you will experience what is that good, well-pleasing, perfect will of God (Romans 12:1-2). If you live an immoral life you ll never experience God s good, pleasing will. Immorality is a huge problem Christians face and have always faced. The ancient world disdained God s plan for sex. For most, marriage was only an institution to preserve a family name and inheritance through bearing of children. Mistresses were common. Those who owned slaves were free to sexually use them as they saw fit. Prostitution was common. Men and women who became Christians often struggled with the temptations and standards of a society that scoffed at them for not joining them in their sexual practices (1 Peter 4:3-4). Sexual temptation and the influence of immoral cultures have been a problem for God s people from the beginning. - It was an issue three thousand five hundred years ago God when gave the Ten Commandments. Two of them dealt with immorality. The 7 th commandment forbids adultery. The 10 th commandment forbids thinking about it: thou shalt not covet they neighbors wife... - After God delivered his people out of Egypt leading them through the Red Sea, Israel faced another obstacle. Satan, not able to stop them by destroying them did so by defiling them. He used a false prophet named Balaam to counsel a Moabite king, Balaak to defeat Israel by sending the Moabite women into their camp to have sex with them (Numbers 25). It worked. The nation plunged into immorality and disobedience to God. They had been stopped, not by other s weapons but their own immorality.

2 !2 - The problem of immorality among Christians is mentioned in every book or to every church in the New Testament except Philippians, James and Philemon. - Jesus warned the Jews that though they may abstain from physical adultery, God s will was they the not commit adultery in their hearts by lusting after someone who was not their spouse (Matt 5:27-28). - Christians at Corinth were exhorted to stop having sex with prostitutes (1 Cor. 6:12-18). - The Jerusalem counsel mentioned the need to exhort Christians to abstain from immorality (Acts 15:20). - Jesus warned the churches at Pergamum and Thyatira to not tolerate immorality in their midst (Revelation 2:14-14; 20). - Immortality is mentioned in Revelation 9:21 as one of the predominant sins in the last days. Christians today face the same problem with immorality. The Church in America has been weakened, even decimated by the same tactic that Satan used 3,500 years ago against Israel with the Moabite women: Immorality. Because of immorality, either physically, through fornication, or mentally through lusting and pornography, many Christians experience little of God s transforming power, his love, peace and joy. Immorality is a sin that is rooted in preoccupation with self, and is equated with greed in Colossians 3:5 therefore it quenches God spirit of love and service to others. Proven Men Ministries commissioned the Barna Group to take a poll ascertaining people s view on adultery and pre-marital sex. The found that among those who claimed to be Christians 35% of men and 17% of women had committed adultery, many multiple times. This was about the same percentage as non-christians. Christian Mingle.com revealed in their 2014 report that 61% of those claiming to be Christians said they would have premarital sex. 56% said it s was OK to move in with someone after dating at least 6 months. Many of God s children are defeated by immorality, struggling with being pure in a sex-crazed society. Yet because they are God s child and love Him they pray like King David in Psalm 51:10 pray for God to create in me a clean heart. How can Christians be sexually pure? First by understanding the reasons why! Here are God s motivations for us to do so: Why should we obey God s plan for sexual purity? 1. It is God s will. 1 Thess. 4:3 says For this is the will of God, your sanctification, that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality. The word immorality is the Greek word porniea

3 !3 which meant any sex outside of marriage. In Psalm 51:4, David understood immorality was against God s will when after committing adultery he said to God, against you and you alone I have sinned and done what is evil in your sight. Joseph understood this when he resisted adultery with Potiphar s wife saying to her, How can I do this great evil and sin against God? (Genesis 39:9). A Christian having sex with someone not his or her spouse is disobeying God and living out of His will. 2. It reveals if we are in God s kingdom. Sin is the great revealer of our relationship with God. Jesus said though many claim to know Him, when they stand before Him he will say, I never knew you. Depart from Me you who practice sin (Matthew 7:23). Those who practice sex outside of marriage and think it is OK with God are deceived. Hebrews 13:4 says Let the marriage bed be held in honor for adulterers and fornicators God will judge. 1 Cor. 6:9-10 warns: Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. 3. It results in God s transforming power. 1 Thess. 4:3 says this is the will of God, your sanctification, that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality. Sanctification is equated with abstaining from immorality. Reverse it. Immorality contradicts and hinders sanctification. Sanctification meant to be set apart from sin to God. This word described God s process of changing His children to be like Him, Be you holy for I am Holy says the Lord (1 Peter 1:16). Jesus wants to change us by the fruit of the spirit so that instead of our selfishness we manifest His love, peace, patience, joy, gentleness, kindness, self control, etc. (Galatians 5:22-24). Sexually immoral Christians remain spiritual immature. Year after year they don t grow in love, patience, kindness etc. Disobedience to God in sexual immorality affects all areas of life. Christians must obey God s command for sexual purity so they can experience Christ in every other area of their life. 4. It prevents our hurting others. 1 Thess. 4:6 gives a warning to those who have sex outside of marriage saying, that no man transgress (go beyond God s plan for sex) and defraud his brother ( brother meant men and women who were Christians) in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you. Christian men and women who have sex with others outside of marriage defraud them. This means to cheat, exploit, use. Sex was intended as an expression of permanent commitment. Immoral sex promises intimacy but gives none. It uses or cheats the other person, using them for self-gratification not for loving commitment and care. Women and men are not objects to selfishly be used, but human beings in the image of God to be loved. Immoral sex also hurts the spouses of those who are married to the one committing adultery. It is so serious that God Himself will avenge this wrong.

4 !4 5. It results in God s blessing. Rom. 12:1-2 says the will of God is good, well-pleasing and perfect. Prov. 5:18-19 describes God s plan for life-long marital romance. It describes the joy and satisfaction God designed when marital sex is focused on pleasing one s spouse not oneself. Often Christian marriages don t experience this. The remedy is not to look outside the relationship for sex. Sex is not the problem. Love is. And Christian couples have an infinite supply of love to fuel sexual intimacy. That supply is Christ Himself who enables His children to love their wives as He loves the church and gave Himself up for her (Ephesians 5;25-27). Christian couples should seek obedience to Christ in their attitudes and actions and He will renew the love and passion in their marriage. God s people can help by counseling and encouraging each other in their walk with Christ. 6. It prevents becoming enslaved to sin. Prov. 5:20-22 says to a man who was tempted to commit adultery, Why should you my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress and embrace the bosom of a foreigner. For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord, And He watches all his paths. His own iniquities will capture the wicked, and He will be held with the cords of his sin. A person who becomes immoral in thought or deed will become enslaved to it held by the cords of his sin. This meant, tied up by your sin so that you can t escape. Romans 6:16,19 says that we become a slave to whatever we keep yielding to. Sin fuels more sin. Immorality fuels more immorality. Sexual sin, when yielded to quickly becomes an obsession with increased appetite for more sin. God s plan for marital sex prevents enslavement to sin. 7. It prevents you from dishonoring Christ, since he is in us. 1 Cor. 6: It allows you to leave a godly legacy. Prov. 5; Psalm Why we must have God s help to be sexually pure. 1. Man has a heart problem. Matt 15:19; Galatians 5:19-21 Illustration: Without heart change a person goes back to sin. Illustration: a lion will kill to eat meat because of its nature. Not until his nature is changed does he lay down with a lamb and not kill it! Isa. Gen. 6:13; and rejects God s law 1 Cor. 2:14 2. Man has an idolatry problem. Col. 3:5; Romans 1: Man has a cultural problem. From Genesis to Revelation. Jude committed fornication with his step daughter 4. Man has a universal problem. Even Job was tempted 31:1 God s plan for transformation from Sexual sin to sexual purity. Not monasticism, legalism, or hedonism

5 !5 1. Realize you can t be sexually pure without God s help. Jesus said sexual sins flow from the heart. Man has a sex problem because he has a heart problem. Therefore He needs God to change his heart (Matt. 15:19; Psalm 51:10; Philippians 2:12-13). 2. Resolve to not Sin! Col. 3:5 says we are to consider our bodies as dead to immorality... God will not transform the hearts of Christians who are not resolved to have him do it. David expressed this resolve in Psalm 51:10 saying to God, Create in me a clean heart. Renew in me a steadfast spirit! Paul expressed this resolve in Romans 7:24-24 saying, Wretched man that I am who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ my Lord. 3. Recognize! Don t make excuses for sexual sin. 1 cor. 6:9-10 warns against being deceived and not recognizing what God says about our sin. The mark of a false Christians is rationalizing sin and claiming it is not affecting God (1 John 1:10; 2:3). Here are some common rationalizations Christians may express in attempts to justify their immorality: 1. It s just my mind. As long as I don t act on it God doesn t care. Jesus said in Matthew 5:28-29 that His people are not to lust after someone who is not their spouse. 2. God wants me to fulfill my natural desires. 1 Cor. 6:12-13 says the claim that immoral sex is simply fulfilling natural appetites like a stomach craving food is not valid. The difference is this: Food and the stomach are physical issues, Sex is a moral issue. God Himself has made our sexual bodies to please Him by being used according to His will. 3. As long as we love one another, God doesn t care - Hebrews 12:4 says that love doesn t determine the rightness of sexual expression, God does. This verse says that Fornicators and adulterers God will judge. He doesn t qualify this by saying unless they love each other. 4. I m entitled. I m just sowing my wild oats. No, You re sowing sin. Gal. 6:7-8 says Don t be deiceved. God is not mocked. If you sow to the flesh (that is, sin by disobeying god s commands), you will reap corruption. 5. Everyone does it. It cant be wrong. Romans 1:18 says god s wrath is revealed against all ungodliness and sin. His righteousness and standards are not set by culture. The bible warns against following the world s patter (Romans 12:2; 1 John 2:15-17). God destroyed the world in Noah s day for sin. The entire world except for Noah and his family perished. Sin is not justified by popular approval. 6. God knows I love him in my heart. He doesn t care about how I use my body. 1 John 2:3 says that those who claim to know god but disobey His word are liars and the truth is not in them. Jesus said in John 14:23 If anyone loves Me He will keep My commandments.

6 !6 4. Repent! Put off sin by admitting it to God and rejoicing in his forgiveness. Ps 32; 2 cor. 3:18 5.Replace! Replace sinful practices with biblical ones. 1. Cry to God for help. Rom. 7:24; Ps 72:12; Psalm 51:10 2. Fill your mind with God s truth. David said in Psalm 119:9-11 How can a young man keep His way pure? By keeping it according to Your word. Your word I have treasured in my heart that I might not sin against you. The antidote to lustful thinking is godly thinking. Let What God says about you, others and Himself shape your thinking about sex. Phil. 4:8 s; Psalm 119:9-11; 2 Cor. 10: Get away from temptation. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says Flee immorality. It is one of the sins that you fight against by immediately leaving the situation that is tempting you. In Genesis 39:7-21 Joseph, when tempted by Potiphar s wife, fled from her. He refused to dialogue with her, pray with her, or even stay in the house. He got away from there. i. Avoid places where you will be sexually tempted. In Prov. 5:8 Solomon warned his son regarding an adulterous, sexually tempting woman, Keep your way far from her and don not go near the door of her house. ii. Avoid watching what is immoral or will sexually tempt you. Psalm 101:3 says, I will set no worthless thing before my eyes. In Job 31:1, he said I have made a covenant with my eyes that I will not gaze upon a virgin to lust. Pornography is becoming rampant among Christians. 66% of Christian men have viewed pornography monthly (80% of men ages 18-30). A Kaiser poll 2010 of year olds revealed that spend10.5 hours a day on media: TV, music, computer, video games, movies, cell phone! Parents must help their children avoid sexual temptations on media. iii.biblically evaluate where you go and what you will see. Ask yourself: Will it build me up or tempt me to sin in my heart or actions? Will it desensitize me to what God hates. iv. Get accountability on your computer. There are Christian ministries designed to help men and women stay away from pornography on their computers, tablets and cell phones. One is: which allows a person of your

7 !7 choice to know if you have watched anything sexually inappropriate. Loving accountability is good. God holds us accountable for everything we do in our body (2 cor. 5:10-11). v. Don t participate in immoral or impure conversation. Eph. 5: Don t leave temptation doors open. Romans 13:13-14 says, Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts. The word provision meant forethought and planning. This verse is telling us not to knowingly put ourselves in situations or plan ahead for opportunities to sin. 5. Relate to the opposite sex with purity not promiscuity. In 1 Timothy 5:2 Paul tells Timothy to relate to younger women as sisters, in all purity. In 1 Timothy 2:9 he exhorts young women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly. Christians must be on guard against sexually tempting brothers and sisters in Christ by immodest dress or inappropriate touching. A good question to ask regarding how one dresses is: Am I dressing in a way to sexually draw attention to myself or allure the opposite sex? A wise practice is to ask someone of the same sex who is godly what they think. 6. Commit to being married. 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 tells us that God s remedy for sexual immorality is marriage. While sex is certainly NOT the basis of determining who to marry, it may be a indicator that you should get married. If God has not have given you the gift of being single, it will be evidenced by a strong desire for sexual companionship. If so, pray for the godly spouse He has for you. Young men especially must commit to marriage. This passage implies, that because of sexual desire and the danger of immorality, it is not wise to wait a lengthy time before marriage. Yet, God has his timing for each of His children whom he has called to marriage. In any case, He can provide whatever His son or daughter needs to help them overcome sexual or any temptation (1 Cor. 10:13). 7. Commit to loving your spouse in marriage. Proverbs 5:16-19 gives God s plan for married people overcoming sexual immorality. What is it? His plan for life-long romance in marriage which focuses on treasuring and delighting in your spouse, making it your goal to bless her or him instead of yourself. Sexual satisfaction in marriage flows from a godly, biblical heart attitude towards one s spouse.

8 8. Commit to the Church. God s plan for overcoming all sin, including immorality, is to have Christ s peace and Word dwelling richly in us. He has ordained that His people are the means He uses to encourage, counsel and help us in our walk with Him, which is the basis for overcoming sin and living sexually pure (Colossians 3:5-16).!8