Be sure to provide the words for the song, The Cry of the Poor. Ask for a reader before you begin who can review the reading ahead of time.

Transcription

1 Time Frame 90 minutes Theme: Vulnerability God s Love Revealed in Our Weakness FACILITATOR S NOTES are italicized. Objectives: Suggested Techniques Questions/ Materials Participants will: Deepen their understanding of vulnerability as a principle of L Arche and element of personal experience. Grow in understanding defense mechanisms that prevent discovery of our vulnerability. 15 min. Ice Breaker (optional) Worries in a hat: Have group participants anonymously write down a personal worry on a small piece of paper. Invite everyone to fold her/his worries and place in a hat. Next, pass the hat around the group. Each participant pulls out a folded worry (not knowing who wrote it) and tries to describe her/his understanding of the worry. Opening Prayer: Song: The Cry of the Poor Scripture: Mark 7: vs Be sure to provide the words for the song, The Cry of the Poor. Ask for a reader before you begin who can review the reading ahead of time. After the reading and a few minutes of silence ask participants to share what touches them in the story from Mark. Singing Large Group Sharing Bible Words to The Cry of the Poor

2 Overview of Theme & Review Review your objectives for this formation and invite participants to share their own expectations or questions regarding today s theme. Today we will be talking about a basic component of L Arche s spirituality vulnerability. We will be looking at: mutual vulnerability barriers to vulnerability the vulnerability of God 10 min min. Setting the Scene Facilitator tells the story of Jean Vanier & Pere Thomas and the disagreement about how L Arche was to exist. Vanier, experiencing vulnerability in the conflict between his spiritual guide s dream of forming a community that welcomed everyone and the reality of living with the poor, stands up and leads L Arche. Vulnerability Facilitator reviews the Scripture reading of the Syrophoenician woman noting that she was extremely vulnerable she opened herself to total rejection because of her great love for her daughter. Her vulnerability welcomed Jesus to share his gifts with all people not just the Jews. This kind of interaction between Jews and non-jews at that time was completely unheard of. By Jesus response to the woman he put himself into a vulnerable position, inviting ridicule, questioning, anger on the part of Church leaders, and ultimately death. Story Telling Read aloud Mark 7:24-30 See The Miracle, The Message, The Story by Kathryn Spink, pp The Heart of L Arche Discovering My Own Wounds p. 34

3 Facilitator distributes handouts for discussion and brainstorming. The following questions will prime the brainstorming session: How would you define vulnerability? What qualities would you find in a person that you might think of as vulnerable? Qualities might include: compassionate good listener trusting open humility sensitive and respectful love of the poor L Arche speaks of mutual vulnerability. If we go back and look at the qualities we have identified, we can see how a truly vulnerable person invites vulnerability in the other. This can be a positive encounter but it also can be a negative one. Jesus invited the disciples into vulnerability and some accepted it and some like Judas rejected Jesus min. Defense Mechanisms There are things in our lives that prevent us from being vulnerable. These are called defense mechanisms. Defense mechanisms are not necessarily bad. Defense mechanisms protect us until we are ready to face our own challenges. Discussion/ Brainstorming Introduction by Facilitator 1. Handout with passages from: Charter of L Arche II, 4; The Scandal of Service, p. 49; Out of Solitude, p 20; The Heart of L Arche p.33, From Brokenness to Community, p 20

4 Ask for volunteers to participate in the skits: Scenario 1: Accompaniment situation (Need 2 people). The accompanee starts talking about the death of her dog, is visibly upset, even tearful, needs comforting. The accompanier continuously interrupts and tries to change the subject. Scenario 2 Team meeting (Need 4-5 people). The team is talking about a core member that has moved into Alzheimer dementia. Conversation is quite serious and team members are emotional and effusive about their love and concern for this member. One member of the team continuously tries to interject inappropriate humor into the scene. What are the walls or barriers that keep us from discovering our own vulnerability? Facilitator invites participants to turn to the person next to them and share an experience in L Arche that evoked either themselves or someone else to use a defense mechanism. Vulnerability of God End the discussion by asking the pairs to move into small groups (we re looking for groups of 4 or 5 here). Once groups have gathered assign one Scripture reading to each group. Make sure that each Scripture has at least one group reading and reflecting on it. Ask each group to reflect on the question: What did you discover about the vulnerability of God? Principle of L Arche Why are we talking about vulnerability? There is another reason for this discussion. A principle of L Arche is that vulnerability leads us to discover our gifts and strengths individually as well as communally. Role Play Skits Partner discussion. Small group discussion. Group Discussion Handout of Defense Mechanisms Handout of Scripture readings: John 4: 4-14; John 1: 1-14; Phil. 2: 6-11 Quote from Charter

5 Weakness and vulnerability in a person, far from being an obstacle to union with God, can foster it. It is often through weakness, recognized and accepted, that the liberating love of God is revealed. Facilitator says: Vulnerability calls us to unite to recognize that we all have weaknesses, that our weaknesses are totally accepted by God and that it is actually through our vulnerability that God breaks into our lives. Read Charter quote aloud Refer to the Charter at the bottom of the Scripture handout. 5 min. Evaluation 1. What did you learn today? 2. What are you thankful for? 3. In what way did this formation session help me reflect on my own experience of vulnerability? Large group response Take home question for further reflection. Additional Resources Bonhoeffer, D. (1953). Letters and Papers from Prison (New York: MacMillan). Dueck, A., & Reimer, K. (2009). A Peaceable Psychology (Grand Rapids: Brazos).

6 Refrain The Lord hears the cry of the poor. Blessed be the Lord. 1. I will bless the Lord at all times, with praise ever in my mouth. Let my soul glory in the Lord, who will hear the cry of the poor. 2. Let the lowly hear and be glad: the Lord listens to their pleas; and to hearts broken, God is near, who will hear the cry of the poor. 3. Ev ry spirit crushed, God will save; will be ransom for their lives; will be safe shelter for their fears, and will hear the cry of the poor. 4. We proclaim your greatness, O God, your praise ever in our mouth; ev ry face brightened in your light, for you hear the cry of the poor. Mark 7:24-30New International Version (NIV) Jesus Honors a Syrophoenician Woman s Faith 24 Jesus left that place and went to the vicinity of Tyre. [a] He entered a house and did not want anyone to know it; yet he could not keep his presence secret. 25 In fact, as soon as she heard about him, a woman whose little daughter was possessed by an impure spirit came and fell at his feet. 26 The woman was a Greek, born in Syrian Phoenicia. She begged Jesus to drive the demon out of her daughter. 27 First let the children eat all they want, he told her, for it is not right to take the children s bread and toss it to the dogs. 28 Lord, she replied, even the dogs under the table eat the children s crumbs. 29 Then he told her, For such a reply, you may go; the demon has left your daughter. 30 She went home and found her child lying on the bed, and the demon gone.

7 Essential Writings, Jean Vanier, (p.84, taken from Scandal of Service). Jesus invites his friends to lay down the garments that give them a special status, to remove the masks that hide their real selves, and to present themselves to others humbly, vulnerably, with all their poverty. To become humble and small requires a loving heart, purified of its fears and human security, ready to love to the end, in order to give life to others. How does Jesus want us to imitate him? Jesus is asking us to follow him on a path of littleness, forgiveness, trust, communion, and vulnerability without giving up at other moments our role of responsibility where we exercise authority with force and justice, kindness, and firmness. Jesus invites us to live the folly of the Gospel, not to judge others, but to be compassionate, to forgive and to love to the end, even to loving our enemies. This is impossible unless we remove our garments and become poor and naked before God, in order to be more fully "clothed in Christ." From Dueck & Reimer, A Peaceable Psychology (pp. 53). Christ s call to take up the cross implies that pain and suffering in life is not an arbitrary or capricious element in human affairs. Nietzsche rejected this admonition as gutter religion. What caregiver in today s wealthy, comfortable, powerful, predominantly Christian America would want to be reminded that the Christian God is a vulnerable God who hung on a cross? Perhaps, as the apostle Paul reminds us, the cross and cross-bearing are still a scandal for most of us. John Howard Yoder has argued that in the taking up of the cross, Jesus is our model. It is the key to understanding Jesus s life. On the cross God identifies with the victims of violence. God s priority is to identify with those who suffer violence, those who cannot defend themselves. The justice of God is the justice of compassion, the justice of the God of the widows and the fatherless (Ps. 68:4 6). Those who hurt the poor also hurt God. God is then a victim of the violent.

8 1 Charter of L'Arche: Weakness and vulnerability in a person, far from being an obstacle to union with God, can foster it. It is often through weakness, recognized and accepted, that the liberating love of God is revealed. Scandal of Service: Jesus becomes smaller and smaller, more and more vulnerable, in order to communicate love. Ofen we admire people who are important, but we are also a bit frightened of them. We are drawn to love someone who seems little and who needs us. That is where the mystery of Jesus lies: he becomes small and humble in order to live with the disciples the same union and communion he lives with his Father. Jesus is reminding us that from now on he is hidden in the poor, that if we want to find him and meet him, we must come closer to the poor. Pg. 49 Out of Solitude: Once in a while someone will confess in an intimate moment, Everyone thinks I am very quiet and composed, but if only they knew how I really feel This nagging self-doubt is at the basis of so much depression in the lives of many people who are struggling in our competitive society. Moreover, this corroding fear for the discovery of our weaknesses prevents community and creative sharing. When we have sold our identity to the judges of this world, we are bound to become restless, because of a growing need for affirmation and praise. Indeed we are tempted to become low-hearted because of a constant self-rejection. And we are in serious danger of becoming isolated, since friendship and love are impossible without mutual vulnerability. Pg. 20 The Heart of L'Arche: If, at times, some people with disabilities awakened a new tenderness in me, and it was a joy to be with them, at different moments others awakened my anger and my defensiveness. I was frightened that they might touch my vulnerability. I felt agitated and ill at ease with them, just the opposite of the peace and openness I needed to be present to them. It is hard to admit to the darkness, fears, anguish, confusion and psychological hatred in our own hearts, all that hides our past hurts and reveals our inability to love. If we love only those who love and affirm us, is that really love? Is it not simply self-love? How can we learn to get out of ourselves and be open to those who cry out their anguish, who need to be loved but upset us and awaken our own anguish? For those who, like me, have always been able to do what they like and have always succeeded, it is difficult; at the same time it can be a real source of salvation to discover our poverty and our powerlessness, and to confronted by failure. Pgs From Brokenness to Community: People may come to our communities because they want to serve the poor; they will only stay once they have discovered that they themselves are the poor. And then they discover something extraordinary: that Jesus came to bring the good news to the poor, not to those who serve the poor! I think we can only truly experience the presence of God, meet Jesus, receive the good news, in and through our own poverty, because the kingdom of God belongs to the poor, the poor in spirit, the poor who are crying out for love. Pg. 20

9 SCRIPTURE PASSAGES Jn 4: Now he had to go through Samaria. 5 So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph. 6 Jacob s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon. 7 When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, Will you give me a drink? 8 (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.) 9 The Samaritan woman said to him, You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink? (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans. [a] ) 10 Jesus answered her, If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water. 11 Sir, the woman said, you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? 12 Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock? 13 Jesus answered, Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life. Jn1: 1-14 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. 3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. 4 In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome [a] it. 6 There was a man sent from God whose name was John. 7 He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all might believe. 8 He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light. 9 The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. 10 He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. 11 He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. 12 Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God 13 children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband s will, but born of God. 14 The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

10 Philippians 2:6-11 New International Version (NIV) 6 Who, being in very nature [a] God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; 7 rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature [b] of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death even death on a cross! 9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Charter of L'Arche II, 4: Weakness and vulnerability in a person, far from being an obstacle to union with God, can foster it. It is often through weakness, recognized and accepted, that the liberating love of God is revealed.

11 Taken from PlanetPsych.com Psychoanalysis and psychodynamic theory have described the process by which we protect ourselves from awareness of our undesired and feared impulses. Defense mechanisms are our way of distancing ourselves from a full awareness of unpleasant thoughts, feelings and desires. In psychoanalytic theory, defense mechanisms represent an unconscious mediation by the ego of id impulses which are in conflict with the wishes and needs of the ego and/or superego. By altering and distorting one's awareness of the original impulse, one makes it more tolerable. However, while defense mechanisms are used in an attempt to protect oneself from unpleasant emotions, they often result in equally harmful problems. Below are some of the more common defense mechanisms. Compartmentalization is a process of separating parts of the self from awareness of other parts and behaving as if one had separate sets of values. An example might be an honest person who cheats on their income tax return and keeps their two value systems distinct and unintegrated while remaining unconscious of the cognitive dissonance. Compensation is a process of psychologically counterbalancing perceived weaknesses by emphasizing strength in other arenas. The "I'm not a fighter, I'm a lover" philosophy can be an example of compensation as can the Napoleonic complex. Denial is the refusal to accept reality and to act as if a painful event, thought or feeling did not exist. It is considered one of the most primitive of the defense mechanisms because it is characteristic of very early childhood development. Displacement is the redirecting of thoughts feelings and impulses from an object that gives rise to anxiety to a safer, more acceptable one. Being angry at the boss and kicking the dog can be an example of displacement. Fantasy, when used as a defense mechanism, is the channeling of unacceptable or unattainable desires into imagination. This can protect ones self esteem as when educational, vocational or social expectations are not being met, one imagines success in these areas and wards off self condemnation.

12 Intellectualization is the use of a cognitive approach without the attendant emotions to suppress and attempt to gain mastery over the perceived disorderly and potentially overwhelming impulses. An example might be an individual who when told they had a life threatening disease focuses exclusively on the statistical percentages of recovery and is unable to cope with their fear and sadness. Projection is the attribution of one's undesired impulses onto another. Thus, an angry spouse accuses their partner of hostility. Rationalization is the cognitive reframing of ones perceptions to protect the ego in the face of changing realities. Thus, the promotion one wished fervently for and didn't get becomes "a dead end job for brown nosers and yes men". Reaction Formation is the converting of wishes or impulses that are perceived to be dangerous into their opposites. A woman who is furious at her child and wishes her harm might become overly concerned and protective of the child's health. Regression is the reversion to an earlier stage of development in the face of unacceptable impulses. For an example an adolescent who is overwhelmed with fear, anger and growing sexual impulses might become clinging and begin thumb sucking or bed wetting. Repression is the blocking of unacceptable impulses from consciousness. Sublimation is the channeling of unacceptable impulses into more acceptable outlets. Undoing is the attempt to take back behavior or thoughts that are unacceptable. An example of undoing would be excessively praising someone after having insulted them.