Leaving Home with a Faith that Sticks

Transcription

1 Leaving Home with a Faith that Sticks Chap Clark, Ph.D. Founder, ParenTeen and HURT Seminars Associate Provost, Fuller Seminary Community Builder Activity: Leaving Home with the Good Stuff Why Faith Doesn t Stick We cannot separate what we call human development from spiritual or faith development. Life will change exponentially. It will get more complicated more difficult to know what the rules are and what the roles of people are and how we navigate into adulthood. More than anything teens need people, social capital, in order to figure out how to get through adolescence and into adulthood. And it s difficult because our world is so fragmented. Life today seems to be about performance and conformity likewise, kids have learned the fallacy that faith is just one more thing you have to do Faith Legacy Series: Participant Handout 1 Copyright 2013 Kids Kount Publishing, Omaha, NE 68137, Permission to photocopy Faith Legacy materials granted to purchaser only for local church use.

2 Challenge: Teens learn how to trust a few adults that will care about you, not for what you are good at, but simply because of who you are. Parents, create an environment that is a holding place for your kids before they launch. Make sure they are ready and prepared with relational or social capital so that they know for certain that whether they do well or they fall, they have a choir of people surrounding them. Let s Talk About It: (discussion time 15 minutes) Discussion Questions Parents: Describe to others at your table, one character trait (not accomplishment) you admire in your son or daughter. Teens: Describe to the others at your table, one character trait you admire in each of your parents. Then move so you can speak more privately as a family. Parents and Teens share with each other: One time I noticed you expressing your faith (something you said or did or an attitude you had) was when Who Am I? Who Cares? Identity--I am God s creation and I am who God says I am. Autonomy More than making good choices, It s about believing you have a voice and you are a powerful person as God created you. Calling We are created in God s image with a unique story to change the world. Faith Legacy Series: Participant Handout 2

3 Parents can help their teens by modeling faith that believes we are defined according to who God is, not according to what we do or what we are good at. Let s Talk About It: (Discussion time 5 minutes) Discuss with your immediate family Parents: On a scale from 1 to 5, how well did your parents listen to you and respect your voice? Explain. Teens: Tell your parent(s) the last time you felt heard and listened to by them? Parents: We Need a Sticky Web the Church! Prepare your teen for the road treat them like adults their senior year and lead them like they are still adolescence. That s the dance. To train our kids in the faith is to teach them that they are amazingly gifted, created in the image of God, that they have been created, redeemed and called to lean into the kingdom of God and they can use their power and gifts to change the world. We cannot do this alone, we need social capital...the body of Christ. Teens: You need a sticky web because God created us to belong and to need other people to remind us of who we are. It s not your job to make yourself a good Christian person. It s God s job to change you. It s called transformation from the inside out. Your job is to lean into God like a little kid jump into the sandbox. Faith Legacy Series: Participant Handout 3

4 Exercise your calling into the kingdom and work with your parents to develop a web of people that will launch you. The Church is the place where we have people to take care of us, hold us and cheer for us when we go up to bat. Let s Talk About It: (discussion time 15 minutes) Move to a location where you can speak privately as a family. Discuss one of the topics below. Discussion Questions 1. Parents, tell your son or daughter about one person from the bench in your faith journey. 2. Parents and teens together, identify 2-5 adults already in the teen s life who could be on his/her bench, in life and in faith, starting now and continuing beyond high school. Talk about what would be expected of them. 3. Brainstorm an event where these mentors could meet with the senior and his/her parents to clarify what is asked of them. Then set a tentative date for this event. 4. Could the mentors be included in some kind of blessing event in a few months (graduation)? After concluding your discussion, agree on a time where your family will meet together again and discuss another of these topics. Closing Prayer with Chap Information about the blessing object and blessing event: Departing Prayer Share this with others at your table: If you could apply only one thing you heard today, what would it be? Once you have each shared, pray for each other to be able to do that effectively. Faith Legacy Series: Participant Handout 4

5 Create a Blessing for Your Child What Is a Blessing? A blessing is the good that God gives us, both material and spiritual. A spoken blessing over someone is a prayer for God to bless that person in a specific way. A blessing from a parent to a child communicates approval and value. The child receives a sense of his or her positive future held in the hands of God and supported by his or her parents. Formal blessings, such as this, are most often given with a touch, a spoken word and direct eye contact. The same phrase used in one blessing can be repeated throughout a child s life so that blessing phrase is remembered for a lifetime. Other blessings can be given for specific discipleship skills or character traits. These blessing phrases can change often. Option One: Bless your child with a phrase to be used throughout your child s life. What brief blessing would you pray over your child that affirms him/her and his/her uniqueness? Here are some examples: Brooke, I pray that God fills you with his joy and that joy always overflows to others. Tyler, may God bless you with wisdom to follow him in all your ways. Jordan, I bless you as a daughter of the King to have a strong heart, kind touch and a generous hand. Ryan, may God bless you to be faithful to the Lord and to be used by him for his high purposes. Another way to compose a blessing for your child is to research the meaning of your child s name. Often a heartfelt blessing can be created from the meaning. Once you have discovered what your child s name means, use a concordance to look up related Bible verses. If you do not have a concordance, search for Bible concordance on the web and search for key words that will help you develop your blessing. Example: Matthew Allan Matthew: means gift of God Allan: fair, handsome Faith Legacy Series: Create a Blessing for Your Child - 1 Copyright 2013 Kids Kount Publishing, Omaha, NE 68137, Permission to photocopy Faith Legacy materials granted to purchaser only for local church use.

6 The two names together might read a handsome gift of God. Handsome could also be attractive. How can attractiveness be a blessing? It draws people. What is a gift? It is something given without any requirements. With those beginnings, research verses from the Bible. These two were found in the New International Version (NIV) for the words draw near to the Lord. 1. Ezekiel 40:46 and the room facing north is for the priests who have charge of the altar. These are the sons of Zadok, who are the only Levites who may draw near to the LORD to minister before him." Ezekiel 40:45-47 (in Context) Ezekiel 40 (Whole Chapter) 2. Ezekiel 45:4 It will be the sacred portion of the land for the priests, who minister in the sanctuary and who draw near to minister before the LORD. It will be a place for their houses as well as a holy place for the sanctuary. Ezekiel 45:3-5 (in Context) Ezekiel 45 (Whole Chapter) For gift, 159 entries were found. That will take some reading and discernment about gifts. In any case, a gift is a benefit. So with the information gleaned, here is a possible blessing: Dear Matthew, I bless you to be a gift of God to others and attract them to Jesus. Or a more extensive blessing might be: Dear Matthew, you are a gift from God. I bless you to draw people to the Lord to receive his free gift of Jesus Christ. May your words and your life be attractive, so that people will ask about the faith that is within you. I bless you to boldly speak of God s love to any who will listen. Option Two: Bless your child with a variety of blessings throughout his/her life that speak of Christ-like characteristics or discipleship skills. Look at scripture verses for ideas. To give purpose, direction, and instruction, you may want to use a passage in part or entirety. Look for verses that start with command words, i.e., follow, obey, share, grow, learn, pray, study, love, etc. To use scripture verses when speaking a blessing, you may find it more understandable to start the verse with the words May the Lord or Let your or I bless you to Here is an example of incorporating two verses in a blessing: Ephesians 6:11, Put on all the armor that God supplies. In this way you can take a stand against the devil s strategies. Psalm 28:7, The LORD is my strength and my shield. Scott, let the armor of God equip you to stand against the devil s strategies. May the Lord be your strength and your shield your whole life long. Faith Legacy Series: Create a Blessing for Your Child - 2

7 Suggested Bible Verses for Blessing Your Child (From God s Word to the Nations) Spiritual strength: Exodus 15:2, The LORD is my strength and my song. He is my Savior. This is my God, and I will praise him, my father s God, and I will honor him. Obedience and receiving God s promises: Genesis 22:18, Through your descendant all the nations of the earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me. Deuteronomy 28:1, Carefully obey the LORD your God, and faithfully follow all his commands that I m giving you today. If you do, the LORD your God will place you high Hiding the word in your heart: Joshua 1:8, Never stop reciting these teachings. You must think about them night and day so that you will faithfully do everything written in them God is with you always: Joshua 1:9, Be strong and courageous! Don t tremble or be terrified, because the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. Be like a strong tree: Psalm 1:3, He is like a tree planted beside streams a tree that produces fruit in season and whose leaves do not wither. He succeeds in everything he does. John 15:58, I am the vine. You are the branches. Those who live in me while I live in them will produce a lot of fruit. and therefore show that you are my disciples. Wisdom and insight: Proverbs 2:2,5,6a, My son [daughter], if you take my words to heart and treasure my commands within you, Then you will understand the fear of the Lord and you will find the knowledge of God. The LORD gives wisdom... The Beatitudes: Matthew 5:3-12 (Any of these verses have character traits for which you might like to bless your child.) How to live: Ephesians 5:15-21 (There are many thoughts here on how to live. Pick out those phrases that speak clearly to you and your child.) Philippians 4:2-8 (These verses include suggestions on love, attitude, spreading the Good News, being joyful, considerate, not worrying.) Faith Legacy Series: Create a Blessing for Your Child - 3

8 Inward peace: Philippians 4: 7, Then God s peace, which goes beyond anything we can imagine, will guard your thoughts and emotions through Christ Jesus. John 14:27, I m leaving you peace. I m giving you my peace... Colossians 3:15-17 let Christ s peace control you. (The remaining verses contain strong life principles, as well. Investigate these verses for more thoughts.) Although young, be strong: 1 Timothy 4:12, Don t let anyone look down on you for being young. Instead, make your speech, behavior, love, faith, and purity an example for other believers. Endure through testing: James 1:12, Blessed are those who endure when they are tested. Bless with words describing the preteen Jesus: Luke 2:52, Jesus grew in wisdom and maturity. He gained favor from God and people. More Information Gary Smalley and John Trent wrote a helpful book, The Blessing. This book notes that five basic parts of a family blessing are: Meaningful touch A spoken message Attaching high value to the person being blessed Picturing a special future for the one being blessed An active commitment to fulfill the blessing Faith Legacy Series: Create a Blessing for Your Child - 4

9 Leaving Home with a Faith that Sticks How to Speak a Blessing Over Your Teen What Is a Blessing? A blessing is the good that God gives us, both material and spiritual. A spoken blessing over someone is a prayer for God to bless that person in a specific way. A blessing from a parent to a child communicates approval and value. The child receives a sense of his or her positive future held in the hands of God and supported by his or her parents. Formal blessings, such as this, are most often given with a touch, a spoken word and direct eye contact. The same phrase used in one blessing can be repeated throughout a child s life so that blessing phrase is remembered for a lifetime. The blessing spoken at this event, however, will focus on keeping God in our relationships. The Blessing Event: You are invited to participate in this blessing event: Sunday, May, :00 a.m. In the Main Worship Center Pastor will invite forward all the seniors, their parents, and any others whom they have invited to be a part of the blessing. Pastor describes how important it is for all of us to have faithful people to support us in our faith journey. For young people such as these, that starts with their parents. But it doesn t end there. The Bible paints a picture of the church as a family, with God as our Father. And we need each other to help us be strong in the faith. The parents and other adults that come forward play a significant role in the lives of these seniors. They will have prepared a blessing that they will speak over their senior student. After speaking a blessing over the families represented, the pastor will invite the parents and other adults to bless their seniors. Begin your blessing with a phrase that expresses affirmation for the young person. For ideas you might consider the prayer card 31 Biblical Virtues to Pray for Your Child. Faith Legacy Series: Leaving Home with a Faith that Sticks Blessing Event Information 1 Copyright 2013 Kids Kount Publishing, Omaha, NE 68137, Permission to photocopy Faith Legacy materials granted to purchaser only for local church use.

10 Example: Jordan, we are so proud of the young woman you have become and are striving to be. You are kind to your peers at church and school, and to your family as well that s not always an easy thing. You are dedicated to doing your best in whatever you do. And we have seen your faith in God by the way you. OR Example: Jason, we are so proud of the man you have become and are striving to be. You are compassionate to all and unwavering in your integrity. Then you will speak a blessing over their future: Example: Jordan, we have done our best to raise you to know, love, and follow Jesus. We have brought you to church and encouraged you to seek a personal relationship with God. As you leave home, you will get to choose whether to seek the Lord through regular worship and personal devotions. May the Lord bless you by placing in your path friends who will build you up and encourage you to grow in your faith. May the Lord guide you to a church in that will help you continue to grow. I bless you to be strong and courageous, unwavering in the face of temptation. And may you never forget God s grace and mercy, for he will pick you up when you fall and receive you back to himself, no matter what. After this personal blessing, the pastor will address the congregation and encourage them to also help and support the student in his/her faith walk. Faith Legacy Series: Leaving Home with a Faith that Sticks Blessing Event Information 2

11 Evaluation Form Leaving Home With a Faith That Sticks Date of Session: Please rate each of the following by putting a number in the box. 1 = Poor, 2 = OK, 3 = Good, 4 = Very good, 5 = Excellent 1. Overall, how would you rate your experience? 2. How would you rate our church s implementation and organization in delivering this experience? 3. How would you rate the presenter? 4. How would you rate the discussions? 5. How would you rate the blessing object? How has this experience impacted your life or thinking? What suggestions would you give for next time? I am a parent. I am a student. Name (optional): Faith Legacy Series: Leaving Home with a Faith that Sticks Evaluation Copyright 2013 Kids Kount Publishing, Omaha, NE 68137, Permission to photocopy Faith Legacy materials granted to purchaser only for local church use.