loving well On Journey Together, J. Steven Layton, D. Min. Discipleship Minister, Brentwood Baptist Church Brentwood, Tennessee

Transcription

1 Leader's Guide

2 loving well It has been too long. Let s grab lunch or a cup of coffee and catch up. We pick up our drinks and grab a seat at an open table. I ask, How are you doing? The ensuing conversation typically revolves around family, church, work, health, and recreation. Generally, I hear that things are well and relationships are healthy. However, in other conversations, I learn of stress, pain, confusion, and a general lack of wellness in the lives of people I deeply care for. The Loving Well: Healthy Relationships conversation begins with: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and most important command. The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself (Matt. 22:37-40). These two commandments help us prioritize our lives around the ordering of our loves. First and foremost, we love God; then, we love others in ways that seek God s best for them. Venture In will help us think and talk about the theology and methodology for making our homes the center of godly influence. We will discover and discuss well-worn pathways designed to lay foundations and move conversations toward salvation and Christlike transformation in the lives of those we love and interact with on a regular basis. Further, we will delve into healthy singleness, marriage, parenting, and blended families. This part of our conversation concludes with contemplation on how to leave a legacy that impacts future generations. Venture Up invites us to examine relationships where we live, work, and play. As members of God s family, respectful and sacrificial love should be demonstrated to one another in Christ. We will pause along the way to think, learn, reflect, and act in Christlikeness to those in our church families, our neighbors, the nations, and unbelievers. We will proceed with endurance and encouragement [allowing us] to live in harmony with one another, according to the command of Christ Jesus (Rom. 15:5). So, let s talk. Grab your Bible, this travelogue, and a pen, and join me in a conversation about Loving Well where we live, work, and play. On Journey Together, J. Steven Layton, D. Min. Discipleship Minister, Brentwood Baptist Church Brentwood, Tennessee i

3 foundations curriculum VENTURE IN LOVING WELL: HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS Volume 4, Book 1 Teaching Plans Linda L. Still Copyright 2016 EquippedChurch.es, a publishing ministry extension of Brentwood Baptist Church

4 VENTURE IN: Loving Well: Healthy Relationships, Volume 4, Book 1 These teaching plans are designed to be used by adult leaders to lead learners in their individual spiritual journey to Christlikeness. PROJECT LEADERSHIP TEAM J. Steven Layton, Concept & Strategy Roger Severino, Content Design, Scope & Sequence Norma J. Goldman, Project Manager EDITORIAL STAFF Linda L. Still, Teaching Plan Writer Brenda A. Harris, Teaching Plan Editor Jay Strother, Content Writer Printed in the United States of America ISBN Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holman Christian Standard Bible Copyright 1999, 2000, 2003, 2009 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Holman Christian Standard Bible, Holman CSB and HCSB are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers. To view or purchase Foundation Curriculum Resources visit us at To learn more about the JourneyOn Network of Churches and/or JourneyOn Resources, us at info@journeyondiscipleship.com or visit us on the web at

5 RELATIONSHIPS: THE CENTER OF THE GOSPEL MESSAGE When Jesus was asked to name the greatest commandment, He named two. He said, Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and most important command. The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commands (Matt. 22:37 40). While Jesus answered with two commandments, there are three parts: love for God, love for neighbor, and love for self. As with most of Jesus commands, this simple quote belies the difficulty of living out these commandments in real life. Let me show you what I mean: To love God, you have to love your neighbor. To love your neighbor, you have to love yourself, and to love yourself, you have to love God. Each relationship depends on the other. In fact, you can t have one relationship without the other two. If we miss one aspect of these commandments, we miss them all. From the very beginning, relationships were at the center of God s divine plan. God created humanity to live in relationship with Him, each other, and creation. We lost all of that in the fall. Since then, God has been working to restore to us all that we have lost. One way to understand the ministry of Christ is to see how, through Christ, God is restoring to us everything we lost in the fall: our relationship with Him, each other, and creation. Relationships are the center of the gospel message. God is love and because He is love, we are liberated to love each other unconditionally and love ourselves the same way. According to 1 John, the presence of love in the fellowship and in our own lives is the evidence of Christ s presence. The following pages help us understand how God intended our relationships to be from the beginning. Through Him, love flows through us, to us, and from us. Once touched by His love, you and those around you will never be the same. Michael Glenn, D. Min. Senior Pastor, Brentwood Baptist Church Brentwood, Tennessee iv

6 introduction to the travelogue The travelogue for Healthy Relationships: Loving Well is designed to be a companion to an individual or corporate Bible study experience. Jesus highlighted the two greatest commands: love God and love people. These Bible studies provide insights from Scripture about how to honor God in the way we relate to others. The first book, Venture In, communicates biblical principles for the home, and then goes on to address single adults, married couples, parents and children, blended families, etc. Venture Up (book two) focuses primarily on relating well in the church and then to everyone else (neighbors, co-workers, the community, the nations, etc.). There are different types of journeys. Some are ones that we take with friends or family, while others are adventures we pursue on our own. The travelogue is designed to be used either way. Learners may dive into these lessons by themselves, so the journal is designed to stand on its own. Others may gather a group of friends, going through the travelogue together, sharing insights each has gained during private times of engaging the material. Finally, we have developed teaching plans that allow these lessons to be taught in a more traditional format, such as a LIFE Group or Sunday school class. The travelogue is designed to encourage practicing at least four different spiritual disciplines in each lesson. First, learners engage a text of Scripture, thus practicing Bible study. Secondly, we have included a memory verse for each lesson to encourage the habit of Bible memorization. Third, journaling will be part of the experience as learners write out their thoughts in engaging the material. Finally, prayer is an essential part of this experience as we prayerfully reflect on how God is speaking to us. We hope you will find these lessons to be a true source of joy and encouragement as you take your next steps on the journey to becoming more like the Jesus. It s not easy but it s relatively simple: love God and love people. We hope this study will inspire you to love others well. Happy travels! v

7 WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO LOVE WELL? Norma J. Goldman You might be tempted to say, I have an idea of what it means to love God and to love others, but I m not so sure about loving them well. This expression, loving well, had not been a part of my conversation until about a year ago when I came across it in a book written by my friend, Scotty Smith. Curious, I pondered over it, trying to apply it to my own experience. I asked myself, I know that I have a deep love for the Lord, for my church, my family, friends, and many who are unbelievers, but do I love them well? Loving is sometimes risky business. Fanny Crosby s hymn, All the Way My Savior Leads Me, includes a line that says: For I know what ere befall me, Jesus doeth all things well. Surely, we can all agree that Jesus, indeed, does all things well. He loves us, and He loves us well. So what does loving us well, in Jesus example, look like? Although Jesus loves us deeply, He doesn t always give us what we ask for. He delights in us, yet doesn t beat around the bush in calling out sin. He wants the best for us, and even describes His plan to give us a hope and a future, yet He calls us to focus our energies on the things He loves mercy, justice, and obedience. He intercedes for us, but often doesn t take us out of trouble. Instead, He gives us strength to endure. He s prepared a place for us in heaven, but reminds us that others have not yet heard this good news. There are no pat answers to the challenges and difficulties of loving well in a world with no apparent moral compass. Yet, a Christian s love for God should be mirrored in relationships with others. We have in Jesus the model for loving others well, for seeking their best, and for living out our faith so winsomely that others are captivated and moved to love Him who loves so well. vi

8 Vision for loving well Roger Severino Jesus thought relationships were very important. In fact, He said that the two most important commands in life were to love God and to love others. There is no such thing as a God-honoring faith that does not glorify God in the way one relates to others. It does not matter if you meticulously practice the various spiritual disciplines (Bible reading, prayer, church attendance, fasting, giving, etc.) if those disciplines are not accompanied by love and mercy toward others. Jesus often chided the Pharisees for just such a lifestyle and religion. On more than one occasion, the apostle Paul said that the whole law is summed up by one statement: Love your neighbor as yourself (Rom. 13:9; Gal. 5:14). The vertical relationship with God simply will not be right without the corresponding horizontal relationship, godly love for others. This is why we thought it was vitally important to create a series of Bible studies that helped believers reflect on what it means to love others well by honoring God in our relationships. In the Venture In book of this series, we begin by outlining some general principles about relationships, particularly on how these relate to home and family. We also have attempted to paint a broader picture of what a home is today, including the fact that a home can include single adults, married couples, those with children, empty nesters, and blended families. We have tried to steer away from the assumption that a home always includes a husband, wife, and 2.5 kids. The second book, Venture Up, addresses healthy relationships in the church and God-honoring relationships in the world. For an outline of both books, please see the overview on page 142. Part of our growth in Christlikeness is to have healthy patterns in the way we relate to others, and to love them as Jesus does. Our prayer is that these Bible studies will inspire you to love well, and, thereby, grow to be more like Jesus, giving glory and honor to Him. vii

9 loving well overview CATEGORIES 26 LESSONS General Principles 1. Every Household: Where Everyday Discipleship Happens 2. Create Conversations: Laying the Foundation of Christ 3. Build Relationships: Providing Context for Shared Experiences 4. Instill Truth: Defending Against Ungodly Influences 5. Affirm Value: Validating Identity and Uniqueness 6. Bless and Empower: To Make Christ Known Relationships at Home 1. Healthy Singleness 2. Healthy Marriage 3. Healthy Parenting 4. Relating to Parents 5. Healthy Blended Families 6. Leaving a Legacy Relationships at Church 1. The Church as Family 2. The Church as a Community of Believers 3. Characteristics Needed for Healthy Community 4. A Healthy and Redemptive Community 5. Spiritual Friendships 6. Church Leaders and the Congregation Relationships in the World 1. Relating to Neighbors 2. Relationships at Work and School 3. Relating to the World 4. Relating to the City and Community 5. Relating to Unbelievers 6. Relating to the Nations Book 1 1. What are Healthy Relationships? 2. Every Household: Where Everyday Discipleship Happens 3. Create Conversations: Laying the Foundation of Christ 4. Build Relationships: Providing Context for Shared Experiences 5. Instill Truth: Defending Against Ungodly Influences 6. Affirm Value: Validating Identity and Uniqueness 7. Bless and Empower: To Make Christ Known 8. Healthy Singleness 9. Healthy Marriage 10. Healthy Parenting 11. Relating to Parents 12. Healthy Blended Families 13. Leaving a Legacy Book 2 1. The Church as Family 2. The Church as a Community of Believers 3. Characteristics Needed for Healthy Community 4. A Healthy and Redemptive Community 5. Spiritual Friendships 6. Church Leaders and the Congregation 7. Relating to Neighbors 8. Relationships at Work and School 9. Relating to the World 10. Relating to the City and Community 11. Relating to Unbelievers 12. Relating to the Nations 13. Healthy Relationships to the Glory of God. viii

10 resources RELATIONSHIPS: HOME AND FAMILY Deal, Ron L. The Smart Stepfamily. Minneapolis, MN: Bethany House, Jones, Timothy Paul, ed. Perspectives on Family Ministry 3 Views. Nashville, TN: B & H Publishing Group, Keller, Timothy, and Kathy Keller. The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God. New York: Dutton, Kimmel, Tim. Grace-based Parenting: Set Your Family Free. Nashville, TN: W Pub. Group, Smalley, Gary, and John Trent. The Blessing. Nashville, TN: Nelson, Thomas, Gary. Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More than to Make Us Happy? Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, Thomas, Gary. Sacred Parenting: How Raising Children Shapes Our Souls. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, Tripp, Tedd. Shepherding a Child s Heart. Wapwallopen, PA: Shepherd, RELATIONSHIPS: WHERE WE LIVE, WORSHIP, WORK, AND PLAY Bonhoeffer, Dietrich. Life Together. New York: Harper & Row, Crouch, Andy. Culture Making: Recovering Our Creative Calling. Downers Grove, IL: IVP Books, Hellerman, Joseph H. When the Church Was a Family: Recapturing Jesus Vision for Authentic Christian Community. Nashville, TN: B & H Academic, Keller, Timothy, and Katherine Leary Alsdorf. Every Good Endeavor: Connecting Your Work to God s Work. New York: Dutton, Keller, Timothy. Center Church: Doing Balanced, Gospel-centered Ministry in Your City. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, Richardson, Rick. Reimagining Evangelism: Inviting Friends on a Spiritual Journey. Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, Scazzero, Peter, and Warren Bird. The Emotionally Healthy Church: A Strategy for Discipleship That Actually Changes Lives. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, HELPFUL WEBSITES FOR BIBLE STUDY To view or purchase Foundations Curriculum Resources visit us at To learn more about the JourneyOn Network of Churches and/or JourneyOn Resources us at info@journeyondiscipleship.com or visit us on the web at ix

11 about the writing team Linda L. Still wrote the teaching plans for this study. She has written numerous content and teaching plans for Life- Way Christian Resources, including Explore the Bible series. She also wrote the teaching plans for the first Foundations study on Spiritual Practices. Linda served for 31 years at Life- Way, retiring in 2002 as Director of Communications. Linda has been married to her husband, Pat, for 41 years. They are members of ClearView Baptist Church, Franklin, Tennessee, where she is the co-teacher of an adult Bible study class. She has participated in more than 25 mission trips in the United States and many foreign countries. A native of Missouri, Linda accepted Christ as her Savior at the age of eight at First Baptist Church, Jefferson City, Missouri. She is a graduate of William Jewell College in Liberty, Missouri, and holds an M. A. degree in journalism from the University of Missouri. Since retiring, Linda enjoys freelance writing for Bible study curriculum and feature articles for magazines. Brenda A. Harris edited the teaching plans for this study, bringing a wealth of experience from her work as content editor for Explore the Bible and HomeLife magazine at LifeWay Christian Resources, Youth and Family Ministries at the Tennessee Baptist Convention, and Director of Christian Education at North Cleveland Baptist Church in Cleveland, Tennessee. Brenda began her personal relationship with Jesus Christ early in life. She developed a love for God s Word and loves to spend time in prayer. She has been married to her best friend, Mike, for more than 43 years. They have two daughters, Stephanie, who is mother to their granddaughter Amber Joy, and Amber, who fought a valiant battle with cancer before passing away 17 years ago. Brenda recently served as communications associate and prayer coordinator for Christian filmmakers, The Kendrick Brothers. In 2014, she and Mike served on the production crew for their latest film, WAR ROOM. They currently serve the Lord through Northside Baptist Church in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. x

12 Jay Strother wrote the 13-lesson Foundations study on Loving Well: Healthy Relationships. He is the Campus and Teaching Pastor of The Church at Station Hill, located in Spring Hill, Tennessee. It is a campus of Brentwood Baptist Church. From , Jay served the Brentwood campus, first, as Student Minister, and then as the Emerging Generations Minister, overseeing the spiritual formation process for families and all ministries, birth through college. Previously, he was Minister of Discipleship and Students at Shiloh Baptist Church in Somerville, Alabama, and Wisetown Baptist Church in Greenville, Illinois. Jay is a graduate of Greenville College, in Greenville, Illinois, and New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary, where he earned a Master of Divinity degree. He is a contributing author to Perspectives on Family Ministry, Broadman and Holman, 2009, and author of several small group resources for Serendipity House, Nashville, Tennessee. Jay and Tanya, his wife of 18 years, live in Spring Hill. They are the parents of Eliza, Lexi, Ella, and Liam. xi