Influence at Work: What Gets In Your Way and What to Do About It

Transcription

1 Influence at Work: What Gets In Your Way and What to Do About It Featuring Dr. Heidi Grant Halvorson, Associate Director of the Motivation Science Center at Columbia Business School, and author of No One Understands You and What to Do About It APRIL 22, 2014 Sponsored by

2 Questions? To ask a question click on the question icon in the lower-right corner of your screen. OCTOBER 17, 2012

3 Presentation Download Link Click on the double links icon here to download the presentation materials. OCTOBER 17, 2012

4 Follow the Conversation on Twitter Use APRIL 22, 2014

5 Influence at Work: What Gets In Your Way and What to Do About It Today s Speaker Dr. Heidi Grant Halvorson, Associate Director of the Motivation Science Center at Columbia Business School, and author of No One Understands You and What to Do About It APRIL 22, #HBRwebinar

6 Influence at Work: What Gets In Your Way and What to Do About It Today s Speaker Dr. Heidi Grant Halvorson, Associate Director of the Motivation Science Center at Columbia Business School, and author of No One Understands You and What to Do About It APRIL 22, #HBRwebinar

7 NO ONE UNDERSTANDS YOU AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT HEIDI GRANT HALVORSON

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9 ..some women s bodies are not right for our pants.

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12 It s not really about asking for a raise, but knowing and having faith that the system will give you the right raise.

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18 Self Other Agreement

19 Self Other Agreement

20 Self Other Agreement

21 You are harder to understand than you think

22 Available Information You Them

23 Available Information You Them Your intentions YES No

24 Available Information You Them Your intentions YES No Your thoughts YES No

25 Available Information You Them Your intentions YES No Your thoughts YES No Your feelings YES No

26 Available Information You Them Your intentions YES No Your thoughts YES No Your feelings YES No Your facial expressions NO YES

27 Available Information You Them Your intentions YES No Your thoughts YES No Your feelings YES No Your facial expressions NO YES Your body language MAYBE YES

28 Available Information You Them Your intentions YES No Your thoughts YES No Your feelings YES No Your facial expressions NO YES Your body language MAYBE YES Your behavior YES YES*

29 Available Information You Them Your intentions YES No Your thoughts YES No Your feelings YES No Your facial expressions NO YES Your body language MAYBE YES Your behavior YES YES* What you say YES YES*

30 Beauty is the eye of the perceiver.

31 Beauty is the eye of the perceiver. So is everything else.

32 Your words & actions How they see you

33 Interpretation Your words & actions How they see you

34 Your actual words and actions* Interpretation

35 Your actual words and actions* Interpretation Stereotypes Assumptions

36 False Uniqueness The Ten Commandments I obey Americans obey Do not curse or use profanity 64% Go to church, synagogue, or mosque on holy days 64% Respect your parents 95% Do not commit murder 91% If married, do not have a sexual relationship with someone 86% other than your spouse Do not steal 90% Do not say things that aren t true about another person 88% Do not envy things another person has 76% Do not covet another person s husband or wife 84% Worship only the one true God 81%

37 False Uniqueness The Ten Commandments I obey Americans obey Do not curse or use profanity 64% Go to church, synagogue, or mosque on holy days 64% Respect your parents 95% Do not commit murder 91% If married, do not have a sexual relationship with someone 86% other than your spouse Do not steal 90% Do not say things that aren t true about another person 88% Do not envy things another person has 76% Do not covet another person s husband or wife 84% Worship only the one true God 81%

38 False Uniqueness The Ten Commandments I obey Americans obey Do not curse or use profanity 64% Go to church, synagogue, or mosque on holy days 64% Respect your parents 95% Do not commit murder 91% If married, do not have a sexual relationship with someone 86% other than your spouse Do not steal 90% Do not say things that aren t true about another person 88% Do not envy things another person has 76% Do not covet another person s husband or wife 84% Worship only the one true God 81%

39 False Uniqueness The Ten Commandments I obey Americans obey Do not curse or use profanity 64% 15% Go to church, synagogue, or mosque on holy days 64% 22% Respect your parents 95% 49% Do not commit murder 91% 71% If married, do not have a sexual relationship with someone 86% 45% other than your spouse Do not steal 90% 54% Do not say things that aren t true about another person 88% 33% Do not envy things another person has 76% 23% Do not covet another person s husband or wife 84% 42% Worship only the one true God 81% 49%

40 False Uniqueness The Ten Commandments I obey Americans obey Do not curse or use profanity 64% 15% Go to church, synagogue, or mosque on holy days 64% 22% Respect your parents 95% 49% Do not commit murder 91% 71% If married, do not have a sexual relationship with someone 86% 45% other than your spouse Do not steal 90% 54% Do not say things that aren t true about another person 88% 33% Do not envy things another person has 76% 23% Do not covet another person s husband or wife 84% 42% Worship only the one true God 81% 49%

41 Your actual words and actions* Interpretation Stereotypes Assumptions

42 Your actual words and actions* Interpretation Stereotypes Assumptions Past experience with you

43 Primacy Effect

44 Primacy Effect

45 Your actual words and actions* Interpretation Stereotypes Assumptions Past experience with you

46 Your actual words and actions* Interpretation Stereotypes Assumptions Past experience with you Stuff about them

47 Your actual words and actions* Context Interpretation Stereotypes Assumptions Past experience with you Stuff about them

48 Your actual words and actions* Requires time & effort Context Interpretation Stereotypes Assumptions Past experience with you Stuff about them

49 3 Lenses of Perception Trust Power Ego

50 Trust Lens

51 Competence Warmth

52 Competence Warmth

53 Competence Warmth

54 Competence Warmth

55 Competence Warmth

56 Projecting Warmth Maintain eye contact Smile Nod Actually listen Be affirming

57 Power Lens

58 Douglas Adams on horses They have always understood a great deal more than they let on. It is difficult to be sat on all day, every day, by some other creature, without forming an opinion about them. Dirk Gently s Holistic Detective Agency

59 Douglas Adams on horses They have always understood a great deal more than they let on. It is difficult to be sat on all day, every day, by some other creature, without forming an opinion about them. On the other hand, it is perfectly possibly to sit all day, every day, on top of another creature and not have the slightest thought about them whatsoever Dirk Gently s Holistic Detective Agency

60 Power Lens

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62 Ingratiation

63 Ingratiation

64 Ingratiation Doing a great job

65 Ingratiation Doing a great job

66 Ingratiation Doing a great job THIS IS HOW I CAN HELP YOU

67 Ego Lens

68 Relevance Closeness

69 Relevance High Threat Closeness

70 High Threat

71 High Threat

72 Moderate Threat Relevance High Threat Closeness

73 Moderate Threat

74 Moderate Threat Relevance High Threat Closeness Low Threat

75 Low Threat

76 Moderate Threat Relevance High Threat Closeness Low Threat Low Threat

77 Low Threat

78 How do people deal with ego threat?

79 Too close, too comparable

80 Decrease relevance

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82 Decrease closeness

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85 See you negatively Gross

86 Create a sense of US

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88 3 Lenses of Perception Trust Power Ego

89 If you remember nothing else Establish trust: Project warmth and competence Get attention: Be instrumental Be awesome and likable: Create a sense of us

90 And if you are in a position of power pay attention to the horses.

91 Questions? To ask a question click on the question icon in the lower-right corner of your screen. OCTOBER 17, #HBRwebinar

92 Thank you for joining us! This webinar was made possible by the support of Citrix GoToMeeting. APRIL 22, 2015 Sponsored by