Different Cultures Prose GCSE English Controlled Assessment and Extended Literary text GCSE English Language Controlled Assessment exemplar

Transcription

1 Different Cultures Prose GCSE English Controlled Assessment and Extended Literary text GCSE English Language Controlled Assessment exemplar The GCSE English folder Reading requirement includes work on a Different Cultures prose text chosen from the GCSE English Literature Different Cultures set text list. The generic task specifies that the essay must be on either character or theme. The GCSE English Language Reading requirement is an essay on an Extended Literary prose or drama text based either on any Shakespeare play or a text chosen from the GCSE English Literature set text list. The generic task specifies that the essay must be on either character or atmosphere. A task on character is, therefore, common to both specifications. These examples are all based on Different Cultures texts and, since they are all on character, they could fit into either the GCSE English Different Cultures section for that specification or as responses to the Extended Literary text section of the GCSE English Language folder. If entered for English Different Cultures the task is marked out of 20 and worth 10% of the subject award. If entered for English Language Extended Literary Text it is marked out of 40 and worth 15% of the subject award. The mark given for each of the examples provided is supported by comments related to the criteria given in the specifications. Each of mark bands 2-5 is notionally expected to cover two GCSE grades (e.g. Band 5 notionally = A* and A), though in practice grade boundaries are determined at the Award following internal standardising and external moderation. In the interest of legibility, spelling and punctuation have been corrected in these essays since these aspects are not assessed in this part of the folder. 1

2 Task Of Mice and Men : In a letter, John Steinbeck wrote of Curley s wife: She s a nice girl and not a floozy. Discuss and explain your own impression of Curley s wife. John Steinbeck portrays Curley s wife as being a floozy but also a nice girl. She is a natural flirt as throughout the novel she continues to talk to all the other men, but when she dies, we see her as an innocent young girl. I am writing this essay to discuss my views and whether I agree with John Steinbeck when he says she is a nice girl. Curley s wife gives off the impression she is a floozy throughout the novel. When we first see her, her body language is deliberately provocative when she leans against a pole in the barn. So her body was thrown forward. Knowing her beautiful womanly figure, and being the only woman on the farm, this suggestive posture reveals her need to be noticed and admired by the men. She talks very confidently and flirtatiously to George and Lennie even though they have just arrived and she doesn t know them. She pretends to be looking for her husband and when told that he is not there Steinbeck writes: If he ain t, I guess I better look some place else" she said playfully. This suggests her boredom in marriage and that she just wants company and fun. She talks playfully as a young teenager would and obviously cares more about throwing herself towards people and enjoying male company than she does spending time with her husband. Candy s opinion of her is very prejudiced as he says to George and Lennie, I think Curley s married... a tart. This is prejudiced as just because he has got that impression of her, he may be very wrong and other people should be left to judge for themselves, although Candy warns them away from her right from the beginning. Later in the book, she has a disrespectful attitude towards Crooks, George and Lennie. `You bindle bums think you re so damn good', talking to a bunch of bindle stiffs, a nigger an' a dum-dum and a lousy ol' sheep' shows even though she is younger, she has no respect and thinks herself a lot better than them. She likes to create attention for herself as she clearly feels she isn t noticed. She uses the fact she is a vulnerable female against Crooks and is very racist towards him. Well you keep your trap shut then, Nigger. I could get you strung up on a tree so easy it ain t even funny. This is a definite threat to Crooks. This shows that the social attitudes at the time were extremely racist and she chooses him because he is the most weak and least able to defend himself. She was going to accuse him of sexual assault and his black skin she knew would add to the problem. This gives her some status and power despite her because she is the only woman though her unpopular husband actually makes her an outcast on the farm. Nobody will want to converse with her because they fear her husband, and because they would automatically tar her with the same brush as they had him, which is to be extremely unreasonable and disrespectful, not to mention rude and very unfriendly. When Lennie and George arrive at the ranch, Curley s wife claims to be looking for her husband Curley. But she clearly isn t just there for that. You re the new fella s that just come, ain t ya? She immediately moves from finding her husband to acquainting herself with them. When Slim arrives and tells her Curley had gone into the house, she leaves in a hurry as though she thought they knew her intentions weren t actually to find Curley. 2

3 There are, then, a number of aspects of her character which are less attractive. She flirts with the other men, she does not consider the effect she is having upon them and she is racist. She endangers their positions on the ranch through her behaviour. Throughout the novel, there are also indications she is a victim rather than a floozy. You learn that she dreamt of being in films but it was never going to become a reality. She showed she had always been used by men as none of them ever intended to put her in films: an a guy tol me he could put me in pitchers. Although she was very naive in believing it, it leaves her bitter in her marriage knowing that this was once on offer for her because she was trapped with no contact with the outside world of wider opportunities. She confesses to Lennie that she isn t happy and still plans to fulfil her dreams in the future. I coulda made somethin' of myseif... maybe I will yet'. She confesses that her marriage to Curley isn t based on love or even lust; it was arranged when she was just in a temper with her mother and on the rebound. I married Curley. Met him out to the Riverside Dance that same night.' She thought she d have more freedom, to fulfil her dreams, but it did not worked out like that. She craves some sort of affection and attention and has clearly kept her feelings hidden away for a long time before her confession to Lennie. I don t like Curley. He ain t a nice fella. She jumps at the chance to be able to express herself to somebody, somebody who would listen. She obviously is in despair as by now she has lost hope of her dream. She is lonely and never receives any of the love and affection she needs and like any young girl would want. Think I don t like to talk to somebody ever once in a while? Think I like to stick in that house alla time? She always just wants some company and never understands just why nobody would speak with her. She is young, and probably never meant to appear a tramp' or a tart'. She simply has nothing to do and nobody to talk to. She can put two and two together. She realises her husband has no respect for her. Think I don t know where they all went? Even Curley. I know where they all went.' On the Saturday night, Curley had gone to a brothel with some of the other men who worked on the ranch. Just his absence alone gives us the impression that their marriage lacks love and intimacy. This makes you sympathise with her more, as she is young, beautiful and full of life and her husband still chooses other women over her which surely must make her feel unworthy and insecure as well as lowering her self-esteem. Another part of the novel which makes you sympathise with Curley s wife is when she dies. The meanness and the planning and the discontent and the ache for attention were all gone from her face. This shows that after all the stress and things life had placed on her, she has finally relaxed and is at ease. She was very pretty and simple, and her face was sweet and young. This again reminds you of how young she was and how she had so much unhappiness in such a short time. Her beauty ruined her in a way, as that was the main cause of her disappointment with acting and also why she ended up marrying Curley. Now her rouged cheeks and her reddened lips made her seem alive. This shows and reminds you of the importance of makeup to her, as even at her death she looks the same. Last of all the curls, tiny little sausages, make her seem so young, like a child which automatically again makes you feel sorry for her, and guilty in a way for thinking she was just a floozy in the beginning. Finally, throughout the novel, she is simply known as Curley s wife'. This shows a huge lack of respect for her as nobody once throughout called her by her own name. It was as though her identity had been taken away, and she has no right to stand up as a person with rights and an opinion. This also makes me feel very sorry for her as she is neglected and overlooked a lot of the time. Curley s wife is definitely not a straightforward character. Throughout the novel, you see different sides of her which 3

4 means you can interpret her in different ways, a floozy and a nice girl. She shows many characteristics of being both but on balance, I feel, that she is a victim of her circumstances. I think John Steinbeck made her seem a very realistic character for the time and place when the book is set. The novel is set in the 1930 s when people had less social compassion than we do now. It shows how women had no choices and few opportunities which still happens now. He made her seem very naive, which she was and that she was only seen for her beauty, not for herself. He uses a lot of dialect to show her strong accent and where she came from as she is not well spoken and says a lot of things in slang. It could also pick up on her family background as it shows how, just like the men, she is not well educated. Examples of this dialect are, awright, cover im up if ya wanta, an a guy tol me he could put me in pitchers, which all give you a precise indication of how she speaks. Curley s wife is then a sad and naïve young lady who lacks the education to escape from her environment. I think that John Steinbeck was successful in his aim to present Curley s wife as a nice girl' rather than a fioozy as without a doubt by the end of the novel I thought she was a nice girl. When she died, he showed her being sweet and innocent in death and her natural beauty was allowed to shine through. It highlighted the fact that it was her negative life experiences that made her act in the way she did. This made me sympathise with her and truly feel sorry for her as you finally realise that she is in fact not a floozy just a young girl trying to follow some sort of dream. Commentary This student is able to make close textual reference and she comments on the language of the novel in a thoughtful and mature fashion. She investigates the central aspect of her task with care and she remains focused throughout the essay. Appropriate reference is made to the social and historical background to the novel where it is necessary to do so. The student is able to comment maturely on relationships and characters, attitudes and motives. She handles the text with confidence although the structure of the essay could be better. The section on Curley s wife being a floozy could perhaps have been more detailed. This is Band 5 work with a mark of 35. 4

5 Task How does Harper Lee presents Atticus as a role model to his children and also to the rest of Maycomb society? Atticus is a respectful member of Maycomb society. He is not racist or nasty towards anyone. He even treats people who dislike him and disagree with him with courtesy. You can tell this from the quotation, "Good evening Mrs Dubose. You look a picture this evening". He is being polite and is complimenting an older woman in Maycomb and respecting her. He talks formally as he addresses her by "Mrs Dubose" not her first name, and this shows her respect. Atticus is a great role model, and he teaches his children well. Although he is a single parent, he brings up his children to know the rights from wrong. This is shown in the quotation, "Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit 'em, but remember it s a sin to kill a mocking bird." This is used by Harper Lee to make Atticus show his children mockingbirds are innocent, just like Tom Robinson, therefore they should not be punished when all they do is innocently sing. Also I think that she used the quotation to prove that Atticus wants his children to think that they should not harm things that haven't harmed them. Also Atticus says, "You never really understood a person until you consider things from his point of view - until you climb into his skin and walk in it". Harper Lee used this quotation cleverly, as she is making Atticus tell Scout to empathise, and give everyone and equal chance. I think she wants the reader to pick up a lesson from the comment, and I also think she wants Atticus to make Scout grow up and mature by telling her one thing that s important in life, giving everyone an equal chance and not just relying on first impressions or what she heard about someone. Also I believe Atticus, as a single parent, wants the best for his children and is protective over them. For example, he tells Jem, "There's a lot of ugly things in the world, son, I wish I could keep em all away from you. That s never possible." This is trying to teach Jem that there are bad things in the world and that you should not listen to what people always say. This quotation comes from the section about Atticus being a 'negro lover'. He wants Jem to believe that what goes on in the world isn't always just but that he should stick to his belief in justice. The quotation, "You just hold your head high and keep those fists down," also shows Atticus caring about his children. In this case it's Scout as Scout is a strong believer in violence. Atticus teaches her that violence isn't always the answer and she learns this as she matures near the end of the book. Also the quotation, "I wanted you to see what real courage is instead of getting the idea it s a man with a gun in his hand," is very significant as it teaches his children weapons are not the only way you can solve conflicts. I think Harper Lee wanted the reader to feel Atticus was not only teaching his own children in the book, but also the reader as at many points in the book he makes reference to the rights and wrongs. Also Harper Lee is showing a strong relationship between the children and their father as he is a firm but fair parent and the children seem to respect him more for this. For example, when Jem damages Mrs Dubose s flowers, thinking he is supporting his father, Atticus makes him go and read to her. Jem learns that he will be punished when he does wrong but that the punishment has some meaning. Atticus's best personality trait is he is a strong believer. He knows what is right and what is wrong and he tries to reflect that onto others around him. If he has different views to other white people, he will stick by them no matter what they say. For 5

6 example, the quotation, "but before I can live with other folk, I've got to live with myself shows us Atticus is his own person with his own beliefs that he chooses to stick to throughout the book. I think Harper Lee wanted to show Atticus in this way as it makes him a good role model. Atticus also shows the reader he is loyal and gives everyone a chance. The quotation, Get some sleep Tom, they won't bother you anymore, shows us he cares about Tom when the mob is trying to get him. I think that Atticus is a good and brave man for protecting him and is also very loyal as he could have sided with the mob, but he believed that he could stand up and fight Tom Robinson s case. This also shows Atticus has courage that also reflects on his children, as they obviously respect and take after him for this. Also the quotation, "we re fighting our friends. But no matter how big things get, they are still our friends and this is still our home." shows Atticus telling Scout that people may say he is defending a negro when they believe it to be wrong, but if you believe something is right, then no matter what others say you should follow your convictions. Harper Lee shows Atticus as a great role model to not only his children and Maycomb society, but also to the reader as she gives Atticus a personality that shows that he is a true gentleman. He respects everyone, whilst earning everyone s respect and this shows him as a good person throughout the book. He teaches his children lessons in what to believe in life, having their own views and not listening to the majority of people, and he teaches his children not to be racist. Atticus has courage, as he fights for what he believes is right, and this makes him come across as a brave person. Harper s writing techniques make you feel as if you really get to know what the type of person Atticus is, and it may make the reader aspire to be a person who is as respectful and courteous as Atticus. She presents Atticus as an all round good man who you can respect. I think Harper Lee sends out a message to the reader: to earn respect, you must give respect. Overall, I believe that Atticus is a great role model to everyone he knows, including his children, Scout and Jem, and this shows the others in Maycomb society a man with an identity of a lawyer and a father can show everyone respect and he seems to get on well with everyone. Personally, I think Harper has created a character that people will want to be like and this book may have reflected on the reader s view of how they should treat others. Commentary The first section is a little disjointed almost as if the student is in a hurry to put down as many points as possible with support. Later the work becomes a little repetitive but the points made are valid. The focus of the essay seems wayward on occasion with the student more concerned with what the book teaches the reader. The final paragraph sums up the essay reasonably well. However, there is much to praise in this essay. The student constantly quotes from the text and her quotations are well chosen and supported by intelligent comment. On the other hand, it is a little disorganised and does not stay firmly fixed on task. It would seem that the student has decided on her list of qualities and then given examples to support her points. She misses the chance to link the qualities to the reaction they inspire in the children. This is Band 4 work and deserves a mark of 29. There is no doubt that the student s engagement with text is good, however. 6

7 Task Atticus Finch and Bob Ewell both live in Maycomb. Both are white men, both are parents and both are widowers. This is where the similarity ends. Discuss. Atticus Finch and Bob Ewell are both important characters in the book. Atticus represents the good and upper class, whilst Bob Ewell represents the bad and the dirty people of the town. Atticus is a widower and a single parent who has two children while Bob Ewell is also a single parent who has many more children. We don t meet all of Ewell s children. We only hear about Mayella and Burris who are at the centre of two unpleasant incidents. Atticus is well respected, whilst Ewell doesn t earn himself any respect because of his dishonest and trashy ways. The only people who respect Ewell are equally prejudiced people. In the book, the way the two men treat their own children could not be more different. Atticus treats his children with great respect and he expects his children to be responsible, whilst Ewell neglects his children terribly. An example of Atticus raising his children with respect is when Scout says Atticus has said it was the polite thing to talk to people about what they were interested in, not about what you were interested in. That shows he taught them to put other people before themselves. He wants his children to grow up the way he did and be positive and well respected by others. Bob Ewell on the other hand did not teach this respect and this is shown in the way he has an incestuous relationship with his daughter. We find this out when Tom Robinson says that Mayella says what her papa do to her don t count. To do what Ewell did to his daughter is extremely disgusting and repulsive. Mayella is childish and does not know that if her parent rapes her it is as bad if not worse than anyone else doing it. Atticus has had a good education and is very intelligent. Ewell on the other hand is not very intelligent at all as we can see when he makes errors in his testimony in the court scene. Atticus is a lawyer and the one that has to defend Tom Robinson who has been taken to court by Ewell. Atticus believes that Tom is innocent and the only reason he has been taken to court is because of his skin colour. This is because at the time in the southern states of America white people thought that they were above black people. Atticus though doesn t believe this and wants to stick up for what is right which shows he has morals and strong beliefs. Ewell is lazy and when he had a job he lost it in a matter of days. He was the only man I ever heard of who was fired from the WPA for laziness. As he does not have a job, he lives off the state and what he can find on the town dump which is near his home. Atticus is never ashamed of fighting for black people. Atticus is always around and has lots of respect from the black community as we see when they stand as he leaves the court house at the end of the trial and from the way the black congregation at Calpurnia s church treat the children. Although Atticus is well respected by everybody, when he defends Tom Robinson people start to think differently about him. Atticus does not care about what people think about him because he knows he is doing the right thing. Nobody has much respect for Ewell but they think they cannot be seen taking the side of a black man against a white man. The white man, however unpleasant he is, must be right. An example of Ewell s trashy ways is when he spits at Atticus on the post office corner and tells him he would get him if it took the rest of his life. This shows that Ewell sets out to do evil. Atticus would never behave in this way. This is very similar to 7

8 Atticus but for very different reasons. Atticus works for good and Ewell works for bad things. Atticus abides by the law throughout the story. But at the end Atticus does not tell anybody that Boo Radley killed Ewell. He just says that Ewell fell onto the knife. The reason that Atticus doesn t insist to the police that Boo killed Ewell is because Boo saved his children s lives. Atticus is strong in his principles and believes that letting Boo off is for the greater good. This is because not only is Boo mentally disabled but also he is also so childlike that he is unaware how serious his crime is and in essence he is innocent. Ewell was totally different. He knows that he is wrong in raping his daughter and accusing Tom of the crime but he does not admit to it. He lies to the court as Atticus proves. In conclusion Atticus is well educated, polite, responsible and law abiding, whilst Ewell is the opposite of these things. Both Atticus and Ewell are outsiders in the community. The one protects a black man, which was regarded as an unforgiveable thing while the other lives on the very edge of society and is disliked as an idle workshy and dishonest wastrel. Throughout the novel Atticus is shown to the reader to portray light while Ewell is shown to be the dark one. Atticus is upright and brave whilst Ewell is shown to be a coward, taking out his anger against Atticus by trying to kill his children. They are very different characters. Commentary This essay is well rooted in text and the student has a clear idea of the distinction between the two men. She gives examples to support her points. However, the points she makes, while being correct, are fairly simple and there are issues she does not cover to any great extent. She has made reference to the cultural and historical situation in a sensible way without burdening the essay with a mass of unnecessary information. In terms of the criteria for assessment, the student: can select and evaluate textual details; can probe the text fairly confidently; can make a personal and critical response referring to specific aspects of structure; can convey her ideas clearly and appropriately; has a clear grasp of the social/cultural and historical context. This work deserves a Band 4 mark of 26. 8

9 Task How does Harper Lee present Atticus as a role model to his children and also to the rest of Maycomb society? At the beginning of the novel, Harper Lee portrays the character of Atticus as quite quiet and as though he keeps things to himself. I think he grows to be a bigger character through out the novel. The words Harper Lee decided to use to describe the way Atticus looks and acts really created an image in my head. Throughout the novel, imagery is used, so we understand all we need to know about Atticus. A lot of people have different opinions about Atticus. Many of the opinions you remember because they change later in the novel. Especially during the mad dog incident as Jem and Scout think of Atticus as 'feeble', which is shown not to be true as with oneshot Atticus kills the rabid dog Tim Johnson. I think Atticus does change between his job and his family life. As he has a more professional side during his job and then Atticus is more open and emotional at home. I think Atticus is a role model for all. Harper Lee presents Atticus as a role model for his children throughout the whole novel. She especially does this by including lessons that the children need to learn. All of the lessons are then later used in the novel. The quotation, "Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit 'em, but remember it's a sin to kill a mockingbird." symbolises what happens when Tom Robinson is shot. What Harper Lee tries to get across about "it's a sin to kill a mocking bird", is in my opinion that a mockingbird has never done anything to them so they shouldn't harm it. The way Atticus is with the children isn't very traditional but it still works. Atticus is fair but stern. Even though the children aren't always in the right he still speaks to them as though they are. However the children still understand they are not and learn from it. The quotation "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view uses repetition which emphasises that it is "you" that needs to do something. I think towards the children Atticus' speech and lessons speak louder to them, than any actions would. The reason for this is because they respect Atticus. I think when the attack on Jem and Scout occurs Harper Lee really creates a father figure which Atticus plays. She does this by writing that section of the novel with sympathy and passion. I think during this part it really shows Atticus' sides because even though whilst he is at work it seems as though you wouldn't be able to crack him, the emotions when the attack happens are extravagant. Harper Lee really finishes the novel with a great line "He would be there all night, and he would be there when Jem waked up in the morning." I think this really sums up Atticus as a role model towards the children. Harper Lee presents Atticus as a role model for Maycomb society throughout the whole novel. The majority of this comes out during the trial of Tom Robinson. He is portrayed as an honest and trustworthy man which is shown by the way he sticks with Tom Robinson. A message is also put across the novel about not being prejudiced and not caring about what people say. The quotation "Link, that boy might go to the chair, but he's not going till the truth's told." is a source of foreshadowing as we already have been told the truth but it has not yet been told to the characters in the novel. Even though there are two 9

10 communities Atticus doesn't see it that way and therefore speaks in a way which is equal towards everyone. Harper Lee portrays him as honest to the whole of Maycomb Society and in my opinion it seems as though he is the rock which keeps Maycomb together. Atticus seems to have an answer for everything and doesn't talk badly about anyone. Harper Lee uses a metaphor in the quotation "That proves something - that a gang of wild animals can be stopped, simply because they're still human." as the lynch mob wasn't really a group of animals. It was just the way they acted. During Atticus' summing up speech he uses repetition to emphasise that they know the truth about the case. He then goes on explaining what the truth is - "You know the truth, and the truth is this." To everyone Atticus is trustworthy and well mannered. He would never hurt anyone purposely. He treats everyone equally and is shown throughout the novel. Harper Lee writes Atticus' speech with inspiring messages throughout. "I can't live one way in town and another way in my home." Atticus hides his feelings sometimes, so that other people are not upset by them. In my opinion Harper Lee really shows this during the quotation "It's not time to worry yet, Atticus reassured him. Harper Lee doesn't just say, "he said", she says he reassured Jem which makes me think when I read it, that his tone of voice has changed. Harper Lee makes Atticus say "truth" and "equal" a lot which emphasises that, that these words are important to him. For example when he is in the courtroom, he says, "One more thing, gentlemen, before I quit. Thomas Jefferson once said that all men are created equal, a phrase that Yankees and the distaff side of the Executive branch in Washington are fond of hurling at us. There is a tendency in this year of grace, 1935, for certain people to use this phrase out of context, to satisfy all conditions. The most ridiculous example I can think of is that the people who run public education promote the stupid and idle along with the industrious - because all men are created equal, educators will gravely tell you, the children left behind suffer terrible feelings of inferiority." Also Harper Lee generalises people during the quotation "Some men make more money than others, some ladies make better cakes than others - some people are born gifted beyond the normal scope of most men." "But there is one way in this country in which all men are created equal - there is one human institution that makes a pauper the equal of a Rockfeller, the stupid man the equal of an Einstein, and the ignorant man the equal of any college president. That institution, gentleman, is a court." At the end of this quotation Atticus wraps everything up in a bow when he says, "is a court". I think Harper Lee uses that phrase to open up everyone s eyes and to make them think do they really know what is happening in that court. I really think Harper Lee presents Atticus as a role model for his children and Maycomb society as a whole. The reason for this is because of the quotation: "I can't live one way in town and another way in my home". It really makes me think and portrays him as an honourable man who is sophisticated and loyal. Harper Lee mentions aspects of his life throughout the novel which makes you impressed by the way he keeps his head up for his children and Maycomb society. 10

11 For poor Atticus, some things go wrong but he still manages to see the light at the end of it. He is a great father, friend and lawyer and Harper Lee proves this throughout the novel. If I could sum Atticus' feelings and beliefs up in one word, it would be, equality, as that is repeated throughout the novel and I think it relates to him well. 11

12 Commentary In the early stages, the essay is assertive and generally vague. The student could have improved this part of the essay with more direct reference to text. She includes a vital quotation but it does not fit very comfortably within the general structure of the essay at this stage. The evidence is provided to a limited extent but she does not investigate it fully in relation to the text. The point regarding actions and speech is not convincing since Atticus s actions do speak loudly and there is a collapse of logic at this point. The student then considers Maycomb society, correctly homing in on the trial as being central to Atticus s effect on people s views and morals. Assertion reappears and it is a pity that the student does not support her argument here since the point is good. The reference to the lynch mob could have been developed. There is some generalised work on language later in the essay but it does not clearly relate to the points she appears to be making. She then launches into a very long quotation from the trial without putting the words into context. This continues into the paragraph which follows but she does not make her (good) point very clearly. She concludes with a repeat quotation and more assertion and generalisation. It is clear that the student knows the novel well and has a good grasp of Atticus s character. The problem with the essay is organisation. To gain high marks, points need to be supported by close reference to text. There is little sense of structure here apart from the fact that the student breaks the work up into two fairly well defined sections. The essay relies on assertion and the support from the text is not necessarily the most suitable for the points she is making. While the knowledge base is good, the organisation and selection is weak. The essay belongs in Band 3 with a mark of

13 Task Why is Curley s wife important in the book? We know Curley s wife is important in the book because at the beginning Curley is looking for his wife which gets Curley and the men into a fight. His eyes slipped on past him and lighted on Lennie and Lennie was still smiling with delight at the memory of the ranch. This brought Curley to anger because he thought Lennie was laughing about Slim and Carlson scaring Curley. We know this because the book says, what the hell you laughing at? Lennie looked blankly at him. Lennie did not realise that Curley was angry with him for laughing so he just looked blank at him. Then Curley burst out with anger. We know this because the book says, Then Curley s rage exploded. No son of a bitch is gonna laugh at me. By now in the book we already know Curley doesn t like big fellows. Curley s wife doesn t really have much power in the ranch because she says, they have left all the weak ones here. This means she can t really help it and she tries to flirt with Crooks, Candy and Lennie. Then when Crooks tells her to leave his room, she says I can have you strung up so quick, it ain t even funny. By strung up she means she can have him hanged if she accuses him of rape. This means that Curley s wife is racist. The workers think she is trouble. It says in the book she is called jailbait and a tart. George has to tell Lennie to leave her alone because he thinks she is pretty. George is worried that she will get Lennie and him into trouble when Lennie looks at her legs. Lennie says, I don t like this place. He thinks he is always getting into trouble and he never understands why. Curley s wife has got the eye which means that she flirts with anyone. We know she s got the eye because Candy tells us at the beginning of the book. He also says that she s only been married two weeks. Curley s wife is sad because she only married Curley to get away from her mum who she thought had stolen a letter from the film producer. She wanted to get into the movies. It is also sad when she dies in the book as it says she flopped like a fish. This makes us think that she is like a rag doll. Curley s wife is also lonely like other people in the book. She is the only female on the ranch so that may be why she flirts with the men so that she can get some attention. Curley doesn t seem t like her. She has a dream of being in the movies. She had been told by a producer that she was a natural but he didn t send her a letter to get her into the movies. But he was probably trying to get her to go to bed with him and never really thought she would get into the movies. Lennie only got killed because of Curley s wife. I don t think Curley cared about his wife. I think he only wanted to get Lennie back because he bust his hand. The men don t really like her because when she lay there dead he said, you goddam tramp. George didn t want Lennie to die painfully so he shot him in the back of the head when he was happy thinking about the dream. 13

14 Commentary The focus early in the essay is doubtful but it improves later in the work. The essay seems rushed with ideas pouring out but with little support. Organisation is clearly a problem too though the student does track through the book. Some of it is irrelevant to task and slight disorganisation and the lack of clear supporting reference weakens the work. This is Band 3 work with a mark of

15 Task Choose four characters who are lonely in the book Of Mice and Men and show why they are lonely. My first character I am going to talk about is Candy. Candy shows his loneliness when he was going to leave the share of his money to the guys that used to work with him on the ranch. This is shown when he says I ll make a will and leave my share to you guys in case I kick off because I have no relatives or nothing. Candy was an old swamper with no family to leave his money to. That is why he wanted to leave his money to George and Lennie. In the 1930s old people were not safe as there was no social security that people could rely on. My second character is going to be Lennie. This character shows that he was very lonely as when he killed Curley s wife all he was talking and thinking about was the rabbit. I know this when it says Aunt Clara was gone and from out of Lennie s head came a gigantic rabbit. It said scornfully, you crazy bastard. When someone kills they wouldn t be thinking of rabbits and Aunt Clara past away a few years before. My third character is Curley s wife. She is a very lonely woman as she is the only female on the ranch so she has no one to talk to as her husband Curley was always out getting drunk and she was left alone. In the novel she is only known as Curley s wife. She is never given a name. Curley didn t want her to talk to anyone otherwise he gets mad. How d you like not to talk to anybody? This quotation comes from the scene where Curley s wife is telling Lennie about her dream before he kills her. Crooks is the only black man on the ranch. He says to Lennie, because I m black they say I stink, well I tell you, you all stink to me. This shows Crooks is not accepted by anyone else. He couldn t go into a room to have a game with other workers. He only had his own room and is not sharing with anyone because he is the only black man on the ranch. Commentary The task is suitably simple for the ability of the student. However, she does not develop the points made. She makes some attempt to respond to a text and shows a response to significant characters. This essay is worth a mark of 12 in the upper area of Band 2. 15

16 Task How does Steinbeck portray the character of Lennie in Chapters 1 and 2 of Of Mice and Men? Lennie is a huge man with a shapeless face and large pale eyes. He has wide sloping shoulders and dragged his feet like a bear drags his paws. This happens in the Great Depression and when the great dust bowl happened. Lennie flung himself down and took big long gulps of water like a horse. Lennie dabbled his big paw in the water splashing about, like a child. Lennie copies what George does, drew up his knees, embraced them. He pushed his hat over his eyes a little. "Where we goin, George?" Lennie is quite forgetful and doesn t remember his Aunt Clara. Lennie loves to pet animals but he pets them too hard and they end up dead because he is quite strong and doesn t know it. His dream is to tend lots of rabbit, nothing else. George promises to get him a dog. Once Lennie touches something he likes, he won't let it go. "Lennie's lip quivered and tears started in his eyes." Lennie is like a big child and doesn t understand violence. "Lennie's eyes moved down her body" and "She's pretty" proves he likes Curley s wife. Lennie gets a puppy but he pets it too hard and gets upset about it. Lennie crushes Curley's hand in a fight Curly started. Lennie doesn t know his own strength. Lennie and Curley's wife have a chat in the barn. Lennie starts to stroke his fingers through her hair, then started pulling it and she started to scream. Lennie tried to calm her down but accidently kills her. George finds out about what happened and he shot Lennie in the head when he wasn't looking because Lennie killed Curley's wife. Lennie never got to tend any rabbits, which was his dream that never happened. Commentary This student begins by describing what happens at the beginning of the book closely mirroring the text. She makes some simple comments about Lennie s love of animals and likens him to a child. In the remainder of the essay, she continues her narrative description of the chapters losing focus on the task as she leaps to the end of the text. There is a basic understanding of the narrative line in the essay and some character description. This is low Band 2 work with a mark of