Towson Presbyterian Church Epiphany Sunday January 6, 2019 Matthew 2:1-12 Epiphany Word Reflections

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1 Towson Presbyterian Church Epiphany Sunday January 6, 2019 Matthew 2:1-12 Epiphany Word Reflections Rev. Joel Strom From a first glance, a word written on a piece of card stock does not look to be that impactful to our lives. However, when we place them somewhere where they can be seen, and noticed, and acknowledged, on a regular basis, they now have the potential to begin working. And they will probably work on us in different ways, but the promise of these words, if we are open to it, is that it will work on us and in us, if we allow it to. We might receive a word that we know, that we know well, that might excite us, and we might know exactly what it means for us right after we take it out of the basket. But if you give it time, and start to look at it from different angles and vantage points, it very well might take on a new meaning for you. You might also receive a word that makes absolutely no sense to you. You might not have any idea what the word means. And so the first step might be to look it up and get some kind of a working definition, and then begin to think and reflect and wonder. Whatever your word was for last year, and whatever the word you re about to receive is for this year, the word is God s gift to you. And what I mean is that there is meaning for you in your word that is waiting to be unlocked. Mysteriously, there is something in this word that is for you. And it is our gift to God to slowly and patiently let this word work on us. To slowly and patiently notice it, to look at it from different angles, to ask yourself what does it have to say to me and my life? This morning we will hear from Patty, Ross and Alison, who are members of our Adult Spiritual Formation Committee, and how their star impacted them in It is a gift to all of us to hear their reflections this morning. I ll end by sharing these wise words from Paula D Arcy: God comes to us disguised as our life. God most often is present in our life not in the extra-ordinary, but in the very ordinary. God comes to us in the here and now, in what is right in front us at the present moment. Patty Rath I am intrigued by Epiphany the Wise Men, maybe kings, guided by a star on a long pilgrimage to an unknown destination. I m intrigued by how little attention we in the church give it. We blend Matthew s Wise-Men rendition of the birth story with Luke s shepherds-and-angels version and call it one lovely Christmas Eve. But it s not that simple or that easy. Scripture says Epiphany took place sometime after Jesus birth. Epiphany takes the story to a whole new level. This is a Jewish story. They were Gentiles and they got in on the birth of the king of the Jews! And then the next thing you know the Wise Men are heading home carrying all they saw and heard with them. Jesus and his parents, under advisement from an angel, are fleeing to

2 Egypt. And Herod, fearing his throne might be vulnerable, is on a murderous, ego-driven rampage that has every male baby and toddler in town slaughtered! Bethlehem is left awash in blood and tears. Quite a turnaround from Christmas Eve quite a mess Still, I would way rather talk about the Epiphany story than about my Epiphany star The Epiphany star I pulled a year ago did not please me. It felt messy. I asked Joel if I could put it back and take another. He said No. There seemed to be some notion that the star one pulled was the star one is supposed to have. The word on mine was Love. My response was Really? Now, I know love is a tremendous blessing and critical to living well. I also know love is among the most over-used, trivialized words in the American vocabulary. Until recently, I wanted to gag whenever someone said, God is love. No, no, no, I wanted to yell! That s not enough! God s far more than that. God has more depth, more breadth, more complexity than that! We say the word A LOT. We love this or that, him or her. I love you. I don t love them. We say we love, and in the next nano-second, we re not at all loving. We say we love God and neighbor, but do we? What does that mean? What does it look like? Can anybody tell? So I obediently placed my star on the kitchen counter (near the salt, pepper, and olive oil and the pitcher of cooking utensils). I figured I d have to notice it there on a regular basis. Over the year, I d look at it and ask, Has anything come to me? Usually the answer was, Not so much. I did, however, try to keep a lookout for clues, hopefully God-clues. And a few of them have come, though most seem like fragments, bits and pieces, not the whole story. For instance, I read something somewhere or other about recognizing the obstacles to love whether in giving or receiving it. I ve thought about it and tried to notice myself in action--and I ve come to think this is key for me. What are the attitudes, issues, needs, circumstances, the stories, the whatever that are obstacles for me in receiving or giving love? When I consider love in the context of God and the Jesus Story, I am told that I already have it in abundance. It s simply a given. I ve always had God s perfect love. I ve always been God s beloved, right along with you and everyone else. The question is whether or not I can accept that fact. When I embrace it, then I am able to live it. When I live it, then I can give it back to God and on to my fellow human beings. But it s when I don t feel good enough (as opposed to beloved), that s when my obstacles are back in play. I ve identified a few of them. First busyness. I think love requires time. It needs breathing room. When I am busy, busy, busy that s when I m likely not to be feeling loved and may not be giving it either. I think time also allows for patience, which is essential to love. The Gospel writers tell us that even Jesus needed some breathing room and made sure he got it. Next insecurity. I think perhaps love requires a certain sense of inner security, that I really am okay, that God really does have my back. When I m insecure or anxious, when I feel I don t have enough, whether it s money or impact or clothes or love, that too is when I m likely not to be feeling loved and again, may not be giving it either.

3 At the women s retreat last March, we talked a lot about vulnerability. Vulnerability can be perceived as weakness or as strength. In my life, I ve mostly felt it should be kept hidden. Now, I m thinking that s one of my obstacles. There is an important connection between authentic love and vulnerability love, whether given or received, might require vulnerability, a kind of open, less guarded inner stance, where who I am and who you are is good enough. After all, we are wrapped in the perfect love of God, right? This is, as I said, mostly bits and pieces. What I ve arrived at for now is that love, not unlike Epiphany, is rich and complex and redolent of God s blessing. It s also confusing and complicated and easily misunderstood. I ran into a quote from Gerald May this year. He said, Love is the most important quality of human life and the least comprehensible. That resonated. Ross Bregel About two months ago, just before our monthly Adult Spiritual Formation Committee Meeting, I read the agenda for the meeting which included a discussion of our Epiphany Star Words. I thought for a moment and my heart sank with the realization that after I stuck the star on the busy refrigerator door... I never looked at it again. Once at the meeting, I confessed to being a slacker and announced to Joel and my group that my word was excitement. Many of you here will be able to relate to what happened next. Joel got that Joel smile on and said, Ross that s PERFECT. You ve sold your practice, you re working just a few days a week, even better, you have a beautiful newborn grandson! That s EXCITEMENT... and here I am. I walked home after the meeting, looked at the star on the fridge and had my OWN epiphany my word wasn t excitement, it was PLEASURE. Yet still here I am. Pleasure, on the surface, would appear to be an easy word. Pleasure as I ve thought of it throughout most of my life, is synonymous with happiness. Hopefully, all of us have some happiness in our lives. So after ignoring my word for 10 months, for the past two months I ve been thinking about what really brings me pleasure and have come up with the great revelation that the same things that have always made me happy, still make me happy. The list is way too long for my five minutes. The problem with this classic definition of pleasure/happiness is that it s temporary, fleeting and so very dependent on our life circumstances. When things go well, it s very easy to be happy. Well, I m not sure about you all, but maybe when things aren t going so well, this same pleasure/happiness isn t so easy to come by. Our broken world, our very humanness, confounds us, confuses us, and even depresses us. Pleasure eludes us, sometimes when we need it most. What I m finding as I ve reflected on my star word is that my definition of pleasure has been evolving. My problem historically has been that when I needed to find happiness during those really tough times, I didn t really know where to look for it. Well, since I m up here, in church, I m sure you can surmise what s coming next. When I expressed my usual trepidation about getting up here to Joel, his comment was, Ross, don t worry about saying anything profound, just speak from your heart. My comment was, Don t worry. I don t do profound.

4 It s really incredibly simple. Having entrusted the control of my life to God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, I have found that I am able to access a level of pleasure, now synonymous with JOY, which is different from happiness. Different in the sense that I can access it no matter what is going on in my life. Different in the sense that my quest for it will never be denied. Different in the sense that no one, or any circumstance can take it away from me. Too simple you say? Pollyanna-ish even? Does that mean that I m always happy? Well surely not. As I said earlier, life does get in the way of our happiness, but my belief is that it gives God great pleasure to lift us up when we are down. Full time happiness would allow us to fall into that stupor of self-sufficiency, thinking we can solve all our problems ourselves and surely in my world, THAT S not happening. When I need help, I can find help. When I ask, God answers. The key is, I just have to slow down and remember to ask. And when I do, I get a compassionate lift no matter what the issue is, and I believe God is pleased to provide that lift. I read a quote during my reflection from Charles Spurgeon that says, The chief end of man is to please God, and in our pleasing God, we will inevitably be pleased as well. Well, I m learning daily about becoming a man who brings pleasure to God. I am, however, asking for forgiveness WAY too often, so it s painfully obvious that I have a long way to go. I m learning through slowing my pace and finding great peace in my STILL times with God. I m learning from my growing church family. You people radiate God s love to me. I m learning by holding fast to what I experience in this place each Sunday. Two better mentors I could not have. What I ve learned in my time of reflection is this: God s pleasure is my pleasure and I m happier than I ve ever been. Thank you and may God continue to bless us all. Alison Peer The word on my Epiphany Star for 2018 was think. For those of you who read the newsletter from top to bottom may have seen a reflection I wrote mid-year about how the word was working on me at that point. At that time, the word hadn t grown too much past my initial thoughts of it. Now, here I am, having wrapped up 2018, and I have a whole new perspective on what it means to me to truly think. When I first picked up this word out of the little basket that was passed around on Epiphany Sunday 2018, I thought, ok. I can do this word. Maybe it s God calling me to slow down a little in my thinking since I m typically one who jumps to thoughts and conclusions quickly. I m still not entirely sure I was wrong about that. But when I envision what it is to truly think, images like a solitary chair in a corner with a blanket and a cup of coffee come to mind. Or

5 often, I see myself sitting on a beach alone while the waves gently touch my feet. Or sometimes, I see that iconic sculpture of the Thinker; a lone man wrestling with his thoughts by himself. Regardless of what I picture, the theme that always emerges from my imagery of thinking is a solitary person, alone, separated from others, to find the answers to life s questions. Let s face it, I do my best thinking when I m alone. I m sure many of you do as well. As a mom of 2, soon to be 3, coming by alone time is my current greatest challenge in life! I take my brief moments in the shower before a kid pops their head in to see what I m doing, or maybe when I get the occasional 5 minutes alone in the car, or even better, when I m up before everyone else and I can get a couple of sips of coffee in before hearing mommy being called down from upstairs. I do use those short, but precious moments to think. Since I get so few of them, I guess it s good that I tend to be a quick thinker. But 2018 threw some unexpected curveballs my way. And what I found over the course of the year was that thinking, in the form I originally understood it to take, wasn t serving me. Our family has had a few life altering challenges this past year. Some brought us joy, like the question we contemplated early on in the year about whether we wanted to try to grow our family one more time. But some have brought us intense pain and confusion, like how will we adjust to unexpected changes in custody with my oldest son? No matter how much time I took to sit and think about how I wanted to tackle these issues, the answers were unclear and even sometimes blurrier than when I began to think them through. Nothing within my brain power could make sense of these issues or tell me where I or we as a family should go with these intense questions. There was a point in October as I struggled deeply with both the joy of knowing we were growing this new little being, while also grieving the changes we are about to face involving Eli, that I stopped thinking of thinking as a solitary activity. I just couldn t do it alone. I was spinning my wheels and getting nowhere. I was in the red on energy and brain capacity. I would spend time thinking only to come out of it more confused and tangled in competing thoughts that didn t provide me with any more clarity than what I had when I started thinking. I felt like my brain power was truly failing me at that time. I came to terms with the fact that I couldn t solve my problems by thinking them away. But then how could I figure all of this and other questions out? Instead of continuing to allow myself to be paralyzed by my fruitless independent thinking, I decided to try something different. It became obvious that I had to involve God in my thinking in order to see hope and a clear path forward. Instead of shouldering the weight of these heart wrenching issues myself, I let God do the heavy lifting instead, and I sat with Him to hear his thoughts. I took a great deal of time in my car, in the shower, in my little chair in my dining room with a cup of coffee, thinking WITH God instead of by myself. Thinking evolved from being a solitary activity into being something done as a team with God. Doing this released me of a ton of pressure to have it all figured out and brought me to a whole new understanding of what it means to think. Once I did it, my thoughts and feelings became clear and my purpose and call for how to move forward became obvious.

6 Though the issues aren t solved and we have an unknown road ahead of us in the coming years on multiple fronts, I have at least adjusted my idea of think and instead allowed it to become something that is useful and productive for my life. I know there will be times as I move forward when I forget my newfound definition and try to think on my own. But I m fairly certain that God will find a way to remind me that I m better served to include God in my thinking instead of trying to forge a path for myself. And even in the moments when I am desperately seeking 5 minutes of alone time from my kids to be with my thoughts, I now know that using those moments to sit WITH God to think will be the best use of my time.