EPHESIANS 6:4-9 INTRODUCTION Having already looked at the roles of husbands and wives within the family and last time we looked at the role of children and on each occasion we have been given a word that summarises their roles. Wives are to submit, husbands are to love and children are to obey. We looked at the Parent child relationship last time from the child s perspective but tonight we are looking at the role of Parents in relationship to their children before dealing with the role of slaves and Masters. 1. THE DUTY OF PARENTS (v 4) The instruction to children to obey their Parents presupposes Parental authority within the home. Yet it is quite striking that when Paul outlines how Parents should behave towards their children it is not with the exercise but the restraint of their authority, which Paul urges upon them. Now although this verse talks about Fathers the Greek word could also be used for Father s and Mothers, it is both Parents who are referred to in verses 1-3 so it is right to think in terms of Mothers as well as Fathers here. However the reason why Paul addresses Fathers specifically is that they are head of the home and so whatever goes on in their home is their responsibility and so they must take responsibility to see that Parental authority is not misused. However another reason why Paul addresses Fathers is that within a Roman family the Father exercised a sovereign authority over all members of his family. This authority granted the Father the right to kill any unwanted new born babies within his home and it gave him the right to sell his children as slaves or to make them work in the fields and he could even inflict the death penalty on them. Roman Fathers often took the law into their own hands concerning their children because in truth the law was in their own hands. So now Paul is once again being very radical in his teachings instead of Christian Fathers being sovereign over their children in oppressive ways. Christian Fathers are to be self-controlled, gentle and patient educators of their children. Look at these instructions in detail: a) Do not exasperate your children (v 4) Paul recognises how delicate a child s personality is. Paul also knows that Parents can so easily misuse their God given authority by making irritating or unreasonable demands which make no allowances for the inexperienced and immaturity of children. Paul knows that Parents can be unnecessary harsh or even cruel, or Parents can enjoy humiliating and suppressing their children or else they can be guilty of using sarcasm or ridicule to put their children in their place. These are some of the Parental attitudes that can so easily cause resentment and anger in children. Children get discouraged when discipline is over the top but likewise they get exasperated when discipline is too light or non-existent. Children need loving and caring discipline, which is fair firm and gracious. Discipline in our homes must be fair, children do have a sense of justice and they know when someone is just being hard or harsh. Children generally will respect true discipline when it is exercised wisely and with a heart full of love for that child. There is nothing that will encourage children to blossom more than loving and understanding Parents who seek to develop the personality and gifts of their children. In the Roman culture children were often seen as an inconvenience but Paul says that they are to be respected they are people made in God s image therefore how we treat them must reflect those 1
facts. On no account must children be exploited, manipulated or crushed by unnecessary heavy handedness in the home or in the church. Now we might think that we would never do such things on children either our own or anybody else s. But I am sure we can all think of times when because of our own frustration and perhaps anger we were not as gentle and patience and loving towards our children or the children who come into this church as we should have been. Perhaps there have been times we have spoken to them harshly because of our own circumstances and because of what they were doing. I have even seen this in churches where people seem to forget what it is like to be children and expect standards of behaviour that you would expect to find in adults. I am not saying that children should ever be allowed to behave badly but we must always remember that children are still children they have to develop and mature and so the church ought to be the place where they are able to develop and mature and be allowed to make their mistakes without unnecessary criticism or expectations. But Paul s application is about the home and so Parents and can I include Grandparents do not exasperate our children or grandchildren. But instead let us be an influence for good upon them. Allow our children to be themselves; don t try and make them like you or I or anyone else but encourage them to be themselves to be the person that God wants them to be. As our children get older we need to teach them to be independent while still respecting our Parental authority over them. But Paul s instructions here are not just negative but they are very positive if we are not to exasperate our children then there are others things that we must do. b) Bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord (v 4) - The words translated bring them up means to nourish and feed them and the word was used in 5:29 of the nourishment we give to our own bodies. Here Paul teaches that Children are fragile beings who need the tenderness of instruction and the care of discipline and loving training so that they can mature and develop into adults. It is also worth noting that Parents are responsible for bring up their children. It is not the Grandparents task, you can help but do not interfere; it is not the church s responsible we have an input but Parents do not expect the church to bring up your children or grandchildren. It is not the school s task we may place our children into their care for a while every day but as Parents it is our task and our responsibility to bring up our own children. Therefore we need to give serious thought to this responsibility in our day for increasingly both Parents find themselves working full time and as a consequence time spent with children is much less that previous generations. It s easy to come home from work tried and weary and then try to find the easiest way to get our children to behave so that we can put our feet up for awhile. We must remember these children are given to us by God we are responsible for them so make sure that we bring them up as God wants us too. For some Christians it will mean a Parent staying at home in order to be with the children. That will have all sorts of financial implications but as Christian people we must find the best way to bring up our children; they are our responsibility not our child minders or school s or anyone else s for that matter. So how do we bring up our children? The answer Paul gives is by training them and instructing them in the Lord. The word instruction is talking about verbal education while the word translated training means training by discipline and correction. Some translations have the word discipline rather than training but I think if we put both those words together training by disciplining then we are close to the Greek meaning of the word. The word training also is used of disciplining and correction through punishment within the Bible. I think those who want to ban Parental smacking of children will not agree with the bible here but 2
sometimes a gentle and loving smack is the best way of correcting and disciplining children. The smack must always be done when the Parent is in control of self and never administered when he or she is angry and out of control with one s emotions. In other words the way that children are to be brought up is the way of controlled and balanced discipline. Of course the are many other means and methods that we will use to discipline and train our children but whatever means we use we want it to have the desired effect which is to teach and train our children how to behave and to instil within them biblical morals and truth. This is why Paul also tells Parents not just to train their children but instruct them in the Lord. Now obviously this can only happen if we ourselves know the Lord but Paul is writing to Christian Parents who therefore must make sure that they do all that they possible can from a human perspective to help their children come to know the Lord. One popular philosophy of child rearing today is to tell Parents not to be directive but let the children make their own mind up as they mature and grow. This is particularly seen in the area of religion. Some people say that I don t teach my child about God and religion because when they get older I want them to make their own minds up. My response to such thinking is to help people to realise that by not teaching children about God they are actually making the child s mind up for them. We should always teach children what is ultimately good for them. So we tell them to say NO to strangers we don t allow them to make up their own mind on that one. We teach them how to cross the road while they are young we do not allow them to decide how and when to cross the road. The reason is that those things are vital for their well being. So is instruction in the things of God. There is no excuse for Christian Parents who do not teach their children the bible. By that I don t mean bible stories. We can make this mistake that we think that teaching bible stories is teaching the bible it is not. If our children know the story of Jonah and the great fish what good will it do them unless they know the meaning and significance of that story. To know that Jesus died on the cross is not enough for children we need to instruct them about sin, punishment of sin, heaven and hell and faith for all those things are vital if they are going to understand the meaning of the cross. Now I think this point is vital. I have heard and seen Sunday Schools and Children s Clubs that teach bible stories but not bible truths and Christian Parents can fall into that same trap as well. Christian teaching should be done at home, our schools will not do it and the church might supplement your teaching but most of our Children s biblical knowledge will come from their home life. We should have formal instruction at home that is a period when biblical truths are taught but I also think that our children learn just as much from our informal training. That is they watch us to see how we live our Christian profession, if they see us read and pray and listen to us talking about the Lord then they are learning just how central the Lord is in our lives. If they listen to us speak about others and church then they will learn how to view others and church life. They will watch us as we deal with that family crisis that arises from time and time and they learn how to handle crisis in their own lives as a result. Our whole lives as Parents are in one way or another teaching our children. We do this through our formal instruction and our informal and unintentional instruction. The whole goal of all our training and instruction is that our children and grandchildren might come to know the Lord for themselves. 3
2. THE DUTY OF SLAVES (vs. 5-8) A high percentage of the population in the Roman Empire were slaves it is estimated that there were about 60,000,000 slaves who made up the workforce for much of the great building projects of the Romans. But you also found doctors and teachers and administrators who were also slaves within the Roman world. Slavery was simply a fact of life the whole economy of the Roman world would have fallen apart if slavery was abolished. Domestic slaves lived in the home of families and were often treated as family members. Certainty the Father as head of the home was responsible for them but like all systems many slaves were used and abused and treated very poorly while others were treated with kindness and dignity by their owners. Now in the church at Ephesus there would have been slaves as well as freemen and so Paul wants to address this particular problem especially as these slaves were considered to be part of the household in the 1 st century world. The danger for Christian slaves was that once they became Christians they might start to demand their freedom and as a result become dissatisfied and perhaps lazy and careless in their duties as slaves. So Paul tells them how they should behave as slaves. They are to obey their Masters just as they would obey Christ. In fact by obeying their Masters they are obeying Christ (v 5). In each of these four verses 5-8 Jesus Christ in mention in each one of them (vs. 5, 6, 7, and 8). The Christ centeredness of this instruction is very striking. Now that they have become Christians their perspective has changed they are now slaves of Christ he is their new Master. Therefore slaves are no longer to serve their earthly master because it will please them but they are to do it because they are pleasing their new master the Lord Jesus Christ. It is His will that slaves obey their Masters and respect them with all sincerity of heart (v 6). Now although this principle is applied clearly here to household slaves we can also rightly I think apply this principle to the contemporarily workplace. Christians must work in such a way that Christ is honoured. We don t work to please our boss or company we work to please Christ. If we are pleasing Christ then our Boss and company will surely also be pleased as well. We should do all our work as unto the Lord. We should do a piece of work as if the Lord Himself was going to inspect it or benefit from it. So for example it is possible for teacher to educate children, doctors to treat Patients and nurses to care for them or for solicitors to help clients or shop assistants to serve customers or accountants to audit books or secretaries to type letters as if in each case they were serving Christ Jesus. In this sense we are all full time Christian workers. So whatever occupation you find yourself in make verse 7 your goal. If we do, it will completely change our attitude to work in general and to our specific employer in particular. The Christian worker should be the best worker in every company or factory or shop or wherever they work. They are working for the Lord not for any particular Company or Business. You see once Christians understand that it is the Lord they are serving then their attitude to their employment and employer changes. Christians will be respectful and obedient workers (v 5). They will be wholehearted workers giving their all; wanting the best for their employer during their hours of work (v 7). 4
Christian workers ought to be conscientious, we should not only work when the boss is watching in order that we might win his favour but we will work just as hard when he is out of the office or factory or classroom. Our Lord Jesus is watching us all the time he sees us even when our Boss doesn t see us (v 6). Such working practises are possible once we realise that we are serving Christ while we serve in our place of work and once we realise that this is God s will for us now in this stage of our life. If you are at School it is God s will for you to work hard there and it is the same for the factory floor or the office or the classroom or the home. God has placed you there to work for him in order that he might receive the glory. Ultimately we know that the Lord is our judge and therefore he will rightfully judge and reward accordingly (v 8). So when you go to work tomorrow it is the Lord you are serving he is watching you all the time. Therefore let us be good employees so that our employer will not be afraid to employ Christians but will actively look for such people for he or she knows they will be good and conscientious workers for Christians know that they are serving the Lord who is their ultimate Judge and he is the one who rewards them. 3. THE DUTIES OF MASTERS (v 9) Christian slave owners are given three principles as to how to treat their slaves. Any employer can easily apply these principles to the workplace. Let me give them to you as we finish: a) First do to them as you expect them to do to you. If you want to receive respect show it to the slave. If you want them to serve you then show service to them. Do to them as you expect them to do to you. b) Do not threaten them Don t try and bully people into service, do not abuse your position or power c) Remember that the Lord Jesus is Master over the master as well as the slave God expects Christian behaviour from Christian Masters and Christian slaves. God shows no favouritism he does not look with favour upon a Master because he is in such a position nor does he show favour on slaves because they are in a position of slavery. God the judge judges both slaves and masters. Now I hope you can see how to apply these principles into our places of employment, if workers worked as outlined in verses 5-8 and if employers treated there employees like this (v 9) then the work place would be a happier place and of course there would be no problems with productivity or with employer and employee relationships. AMEN 5