LIFE TOGETHER The Life Group Experience A 4-week Study
Christianity means community through Jesus Christ and in Jesus Christ. No Christian community is more or less than this. Dietrich Bonhoeffer
INTRODUCTION The reality is you and I were never meant to live our Christian lives in isolation. We were meant to live in community with one another through Jesus Christ, our Lord and guide! This can be hard in a culture that preaches individualism around every corner. But along with His Word and His Spirit, God uses authentic relationships to both meet Him and become more like Him. He uses this deep community as a means of bringing about spiritual transformation in our lives. The Life Group experience aims to foster deep community centered on the good news of Jesus Christ. Life Groups are about more than just meeting socially with like-minded people or simply coming together solely to study God s Word. While both of these activities are very good and ought to be a part of this experience, a Life Group goes beyond either one of these activities. In essence, a Life Group is: A biblical community of authentic relationships that lead to spiritual transformation. In short, Life Groups follow Christ together. Life Groups gather in order to know and grow in love for God and others. We believe that if our Life Groups commit to four important values of biblical community, this spiritual transformation will take place. As a whole, we call these values Life Together. The four core values of Life Together are: 1. Devote Daily: Commit daily to a personal relationship with Jesus. 2. Pursue Relationally: Pursue deep relationships with one another, sharing openly our joys and struggles in love and faithfulness. 3. Invest Biblically: Train, counsel, and encourage one another, in the Word and in prayer towards obedience to Jesus. 4. Engage Missionally: Intentionally engage our spheres of influence to make disciples of Jesus. 1 How these values are lived out in the context of your own Life Group may look and feel very different from another Life Group. But every value must be present in the Life Group or else a key ingredient of our life together in Christ is woefully missing. In this Life Group study you will explore these four core values of Life Together in more detail. Learn about each of them as a group and allow them to shape your Life Group into authentic relationships and experiences that God can use to touch and transform lives! SUGGESTED SCHEDULE Go through this study over your next four Life Group meetings. To prepare for each meeting, read that week s chapter from this guide on your own, and answer the personal reflection questions. When you meet, review that week s chapter as a group. Then, share your answers to the personal reflection questions and discuss the group questions together. This Life Together study can be found at: firstfreelincoln.org/life-groups 2
One: Devote Daily I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. John 15:5 Life Group Value 1: Commit daily to a personal relationship with Jesus. IT STARTS WITH YOU AND JESUS Have you ever received so much information about a stranger over time a friend s friend, or a public figure that you felt as if you actually knew the individual on a personal level even though, in reality, there was little or even no personal relationship there at all? The same thing can happen in our relationship with Jesus as a part of church community. As followers of Jesus Christ, our primary need is to know and grow in a real, personal relationship with Him the source of life. The challenge in any Christian community is that we can spend so much time with one another talking and learning about Jesus that we sometimes fail as individuals to foster a genuine relationship with Him in our own personal lives. When this happens, like a branch that has been disconnected from a life giving vine, our spiritual lives wither and rot. But if we remain connected to Him, He will breathe continual life, love, and joy into us and we ll be able to share this life with others the way He intended (John 15:5). The only way we can develop a personal oneon-one relationship with Jesus however is to spend one-on-one time with Him. This is His desire for each of us. Our Life Group relationships with one another will most thrive when our personal relationship with Jesus is most alive. We cannot help one another if we ourselves have nothing to offer. The best thing you can do for yourself and for those in your Life Group is to build a strong relationship with Jesus and be fully devoted to following Him personally. 3 GET TO KNOW JESUS For many of us, when we think of the word devote, a thought of doing devotions or having a quiet time comes to mind. While this is certainly one important way we can show our devotion to Jesus, it doesn t fully capture the heart of this value. Devotion is nothing more than a love, loyalty, or enthusiasm for something or someone and there can be many different expressions of this! Time and energy, sacrificial love and care these are the ingredients that lead to a strong relationship with anyone. And they become all the more important as you do your part to invest in your relationship with Jesus. This devotion can involve everything from spending time with Him to doing something kind for others in His name. The point is to find and foster real and meaningful ways to seek Jesus on a daily basis (Psalm 27:8). GROW IN JESUS When we put our faith in Jesus, we surrender our way of doing life to His way of doing life and that s a wonderful thing! We want to become like Him, but that means devoting ourselves to learning and obeying His ways and that takes practice (1 Timothy 4:7). One of the primary ways we can invest in our relationship with Jesus is by forming spiritual habits which help us to focus our devotion to Him. These are spiritual activities or practices that we develop to help us learn and grow. Some basic examples of these include different forms of praying, reading and memorizing the Bible, fellowshipping with other believers and spending time in solitude. The bottom line is that the more we get to KNOW Jesus the more we ll begin to GROW in Jesus! It s important to remember that we do these practices out of love and obedience, not legalism. Jesus tells us that anyone who loves Him will obey His teaching (John 14:23). Part of loving Jesus is doing what His Word says. But we can t forget why we obey we love and obey God because He first loved us (1 John 4:19). So as we dedicate ourselves to knowing and growing, we re responding to the love that He has first shown us, not earning His love by how we live. 4
SHARE ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP In your Life Group, make a point to share the stories of how Jesus has been faithful in your life. Share where you continue to see Him t work in your daily interaction with Him as you navigate life s ups and downs. Share what Jesus is teaching you and how you are applying these teachings to your life. Ask what your fellow Life Group members are learning. Through this experience you can encourage, challenge, and support one another to become more fully devoted followers of Jesus. PERSONAL REFLECTION 1. How have you grown spiritually in the past year? In what areas would you like to grow? 2. In what activities does your relationship with Jesu feel most alive? 3. How do you see your Life Group helping you to devote daily to your personal relationship with Jesus? IDEAS FOR LIVING THE VALUE Learn how you connect best with Jesus and intentionally schedule regular time to spend with Him. Have a time, place, and plan. Pick a spiritual practice or activity you ve never tried before and commit to it for a set period of time. Keep a journal of what you re reading and what God is teaching you. Share this regularly with your Life Group and also ask others what God is teaching them. Keep a list of things that you are praying for yourself and for others around you. ADDITIONAL RESOURCES Crazy Love, Francis Chan Spiritual Disciplines Handbook, Adele Ahlberg Calhoun GROUP DISCUSSION 1. What personal activities, hobbies, or situations make you feel most fully alive as a human being? 2. What does a personal relationship with Jesus look like in the daily life of a believer? What are some of your favorite spiritual habits or activities? 3. Discuss the relationship between forming spiritual habits and abiding with Christ. Is there a difference? 4. What impact does your personal relationship with Jesus have on your Life Group? 5. How might we as a Life Group help one another in fostering a more thriving personal relationship with Jesus? 5 6
two: pursue relationally Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor. Romans 12:10 Life Group Value 2: Pursue deep relationships with one another, sharing openly our joys and struggles in love and faithfulness. PRIORITIZE PURSUIT When you hear the word pursue you may think of a student diligently working towards an academic degree. The student must focus much time and energy over a long period of time in order to pursue the degree with excellence. This is exactly the kind of dedication we need to have in developing deep relationships with each other. Prioritizing these relationships is one of the most important ways that we can act on the biblical command to give preference to one another in honor. Often, this is a preference that we must actively choose to place on these relationships over many other important or enticing options. Of course we need to have boundaries that we must define with one another and learn to respect, but these relationships are a gift that God gives us for both our benefit and for His glory. LIVE BEYOND THE LIFE GROUP MEETING Typically, a Life Group will meet together for a few hours every week or two for their official group time. This meeting is a vital part of Life Group, but it shouldn t stop there! To really do life together, you must regularly engage one another in less noticeable ways outside of the weekly meeting. There are many practical ways you can do this. From texting a simple note of encouragement or visiting a group member in the hospital to celebrating a birthday or grabbing a coffee the possibilities are endless! 7 EMBRACE VULNERABILITY We live in a digital age with instantaneous access to just about anything. This is so much a part of our everyday life, that sometimes we re surprised when our efforts to develop relationships don t result in instant BFF s (Best Friends Forever). But the reality is that deep relationships almost always take time and intentionality. The equation for relationships is simple: Time + Love = Trust. When you commit to one another with your time, over the course of time, and in faithful and loving ways, you develop trust with one another. That trust allows you to become really honest and able to share openly about your joys and struggles in life in appropriate and healthy ways. In developing this level of authenticity in your relationships you will be able to freely give and receive much needed support, encouragement, and prayer in times of struggle and to celebrate with one another in times of joy. This, too, is something that Jesus desires for our life together so that we can praise God for His faithfulness and thank Him for all that He is doing in our lives. OWN IMPERFECTION As you read about ways to build and pursue relationships with your Life Group you may be thinking, That s great, but I m just not sure I can connect with some of these people. We all have expectations that we bring into community, and one of those may be to spend time with people just like us. People who are easy to know and like, who don t have problems, and who won t require us to get outside of our comfort zone. If those are our expectations, our growth in Jesus and community is sure to be stunted. Jesus said that it s not healthy people who need a doctor, but the sick (Matthew 9:12). It s not perfect people who need Christian community, but the broken, needy, and the imperfect. And that s all of us! This means that things can get messy at times, and people won t be exactly who you expect or want them to be. Remember, you may not be exactly what someone else is expecting either! 8
When we re practicing real biblical community, we get a firsthand look at the joys, struggles, hopes and challenges that all of us experience in our daily lives. Real community is sure to be messy, but in it, we experience true life where we are known by others, imperfections included, and loved all the same. Over time, God will connect your hearts together as a Life Group. When that happens, you will move past being frustrated by your differences to seeing the beauty in them and fully embracing them by God s grace. You will be able to accept and pursue one another in the same way that Jesus accepts and pursues you. HAVE FUN Just because your Life Group has some serious intentionality doesn t mean that it can t be a lot of fun! There should definitely be time for laughter (Ecclesiastes 3:4). Make sure that you play together often. Find out what your Life Group members like to do, and do those things together. This too is a key part of growing deep in your relationships with one another. PERSONAL REFLECTION 1. What is your comfort level in pursing these kinds of deeper relationships with people in your group? Why is that? 2. Are your expectations for community more idealistic or messy? What is the source of those expectations? (TV, sports, Bible, family, other relationships?) 3. If you haven t initiated with people in your Life Group outside of the weekly meeting towards building stronger relationships, why is that? Is this something that you can change? 4. What would take your relationship with others in your Life Group to a deeper level? 9 GROUP DISCUSSION 1. Share a story about a time someone reached out to you when you did not expect it or when you really needed support. 2. What are some practical ways that our Life Group can show that we re devoted to one another? What would it look like to stay connected in real time? 3. Who in our Life Group seems to be naturally good at initiating with and pursuing others? What things do they do to initiate? 4. How can we help each other to live authentically? 5. What are some creative ways we could play together? 6. Share where you would most like to grow in the area of pursuing relationally? Be specific. IDEAS FOR LIVING THE VALUE Find a fun way to communicate as a group and share your lives during the week (text message group, Facebook group, etc.) Nominate a social chair in your Life Group who helps to coordinate time together outside of the group. Share your stories and testimonies to gain an appreciation for each other s unique background, wiring, and struggles. Set aside intentional time for accountability during or in between regular Life Group meetings. Go on a retreat to spend time together as a Life Group. ADDITIONAL RESOURCES GroupMe App: www.groupme.com Life Together, Dietrich Bonhoeffer The Lost Art of Lingering, Rowland Forman 10
three: Invest Biblically All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 Life Group Value 3: Train, counsel, and encourage one another, in the Word and in prayer, towards obedience to Jesus. TRAIN IN THE WORD Unlike social clubs or hobby groups that primarily exist for connection and community, one of the distinct reasons Life Groups commit to one another is for the purpose of training for godliness (1 Timothy 4:7). Jesus is not our hobby, He s our Lord! And we want to love Him in every area of our lives. Jesus said, If you love me, keep my commands (John 15:14). Together, we train and sharpen one another to grow in godliness. We do this by seeking out and submitting to the truth of God s Word for our lives. This is what it means to invest biblically. The most common way this value is lived out in Life Groups is by spending a portion of the weekly gathering studying God s Word. This is a great opportunity for us to wrestle with the teachings of Jesus, to understand His will for our lives, and to consider how we can apply all that we re learning. Jesus said that all authority in heaven and on earth belongs to Him (Matthew 28:18). Since all authority belongs to Him, and His Word expresses His will for our lives, every part of our lives is subject to the authority of His Word. But it isn t enough for us to just hear His Word, we must become doers of His Word as well (James 1:22). And one of the most powerful resources God has given us to accomplish this is one another! COUNSEL ONE ANOTHER The Bible says that as Christians, we should be able to counsel, or instruct one another (Romans 15:14). Upon hearing this, you may be thinking, How can I offer counsel from God s Word? I m not a pastor or professional counselor! Yes, this is true we do need to be careful to not think we can provide in-depth psychological counseling where it is needed. Sometimes it may be better to defer to someone with more knowledge, experience, or position. But as we grow in our understanding of Scripture, God does provide us wisdom from which we can give sound, biblical guidance to other believers as well. In this light, you simply have to be a student of God s Word. If you don t have an answer, you can ask the question: What does the Bible say about that? Search for the answer together during your Life Group time or give yourselves a little homework to research and come back with God s perspective on the issue from His Word. Study God s Word so that you may understand what it says, then apply it generously to life! The Bible is full of encouragement to listen to counsel as well (Proverbs 11:14; 19:20). The counsel we receive may not always be what we want to hear but if it s from God s Word and lines up with what Scripture teaches, then we should humbly accept it as truth (James 1:21). Wisdom is available from God s Word and from His people sharing that Word with us we would be wise to listen! ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER Go! Fight! Win! Life is challenging and we all need people cheering us on. In difficult or hard times, a word or act of encouragement is like fuel for the soul. It is so important to God that He doesn t just recommend it, He expects it (Hebrews 3:13). As believers, we need to remind one another, in God s Word, that we have an eternal hope in Jesus that is beyond any troubles this life may hold. This kind of encouragement is more than paying a simple compliment, although those are nice too. Biblical encouragement is shared with the hope of lifting another s heart toward the Lord. 11 12
It can take many forms but some examples we see in Scripture include: - Be bold, be strong (Ephesians 6:10, 19) - Keep your eyes on the prize (Philippians 3:14) - Don t lose heart (1 Thessalonians 5:14) - Keep doing good (Galatians 6:9) - Finish well (1 Corinthians 9:24) Building one another up in this manner is one of the most important ways that your Life Group can love one another well! Sometimes our care and encouragement for one another may need to take the form of admonition. Biblical admonition involves a loving reminder about life in Christ when a believer is in error (Colossians 3:16). It includes reminding them of God s truth and exerting loving positive influence to help them walk in that truth. This form of encouragement should always be delivered with humility, patience, grace and compassion. If someone doesn t respond initially, it may need to become a loving rebuke or strong correction (1 Thessalonians 5:14; 2 Timothy 4:2) but the motivation should always be growth in Christ. This can be tough, but conflict is a normal part of life and done God s way, it can lead to godliness and actually bring your Life Group closer together. We must never downplay or overlook known sin but rather grow in the courage and humility to correct and to be corrected by one another when it is found present in each other s lives. PRAY FOR ONE ANOTHER In all these things, prayer must be at the center. You should pray for the members of your Life Group on you own, but you should also pray with each other. Be intentional in noting prayer requests that each person has, pray for them in your group time, and be faithful in following up with those requests. There is no more powerful tool to influence one another s lives than asking God directly. PERSONAL REFLECTION 1. In what ways do you see the Bible as authoritative over your life? How does this manifest itself from day to day? 2. Do you feel competent to speak God s truths into the lives of others? How can you grow in this area? 3. How are you at receiving biblical counsel and correction from others? Is it easy or hard for you to accept truth from the Bible when communicated from another brother or sister in Christ? 4. How have you handled conflict in the past? What s your typical response when someone tells you something that s true, that you might not want to hear? 5. Are you comfortable praying for and in front of others? How can you grow in this area? GROUP DISCUSSION 1. How are we doing as a Life Group to invest in each other s lives biblically? In what areas are we prone to rely on worldly wisdom? 2. Which topics are the easiest for us to counsel one another from Scripture? Which are the hardest? 3. Think about a time when another believer encouraged you in your walk with Christ. Share how that felt and what the outcome of that encouragement was. 4. What should loving correction look like in the context of our Life Group relationships? How can we become more open to inviting and giving feedback in each other s lives? 5. What are some creative ways we can encourage prayer with and for one another? 13 14
IDEAS FOR LIVING THE VALUE Study the Bible as a group. Seek to get more proficient at learning to use Bible study tools together! When opportunities for advice arise, get into the habit as a Life Group of regularly asking the question, What does the Bible say about that? Make the time to encourage a Life Group member in some shape or form each week. Don t admonish and then leave; be willing to walk through situations deeply with one another. Have someone write down your prayer requests and send them out to our Life Group in an e-mail mid-week. Share your detailed stories and testimonies to gain an appreciation for each other s unique background, wiring, and struggles. Set aside intentional time for accountability in or in between regular Life Group meetings. Go on a Life Group retreat to spend extended time together. ADDITIONAL RESOURCES www.gotquestions.com Living by the Book, Howard Hendricks four: Engage Missionally Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey all that I commanded you; and behold, I am with you always, even to the end of the age. Matthew 28:19-20 Life Group Value 4: Intentionally engage our spheres of influence to make disciples of Jesus. GET IN THE GAME Picture this: A group of athletes want to perform at a high level in their sport. They ve committed themselves to their training. They ve received instruction from their coach and encouragement from friends. They ve been honest about their weaknesses and have worked hard to grow beyond them. And then, when the big moment comes, they are unwilling to leave the huddle and get in the game That would be tragic, wouldn t it?! All the time, energy, and effort that they put into their training and development would be under-utilized to say the least! In our Life Groups, it would be equally tragic if all the investments we make in each other s growth didn t leave the living room so to speak. If your Life Group is only inwardly-focused, looking only to its own needs, and never to those around you, you re missing a key part of what God wants for you. The Bible says that we are all God s workmanship, created to do good works, which He has prepared in advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:10). And Jesus said that we should Let our good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise our heavenly Father (Matthew 5:16). Your Life Group should ultimately impact the way that you think and act beyond the group! 15 16
GO MAKE DISCIPLES Jesus desires that people far from Him would come to know and grow in His saving love. In Matthew 28:18-20, Jesus gives each of us as His followers a specific mission to accomplish this. He tells us to go introduce others to Him and to teach them how to follow Him well. We are called to go share the good news of Jesus and to make other fully devoted followers of Him! Our call to go does not mean that we must leave our workplace, neighborhood, or country to go somewhere far off at least not for most of us (1 Corinthians 7:20). While that may be true for some, most of us are simply to go into all the places we already are with a mindset to love people like Jesus and teach people about the good news of Jesus. Everywhere that our life intersects with others is a sphere of influence where this is possible. Jesus has made every one of us a missionary. Most of us are simply missionaries in our own schools, workplaces and yes, even the local laundromat! WORK AS A TEAM This is an exciting mission that Jesus has given to each of us, as part of His church but it can also be challenging and it is important that your Life Group learns how to support and encourage one another in it. The Bible says that we are to stir up, or motivate, one another to love and good works (Hebrews 10:24). You are a team! As a team, you can encourage each other to live on mission individually and you can leverage your collective gifts to live on mission together. As a Life Group, regularly encourage one another in these efforts by brainstorming ways you can each use your gifts, by sharing your stories of missional engagement, and by considering how you can serve others as a Life Group. PERSONAL REFLECTION 1. Do you know what your spiritual gifts are? If not, how can you begin learning what they are? 2. Where are your natural spheres of influence currently? 3. What are some ways that you could love and serve others who are far from Christ? 4. If you began to view your spheres of influence as a mission field, how might that change the way you spend some of your time and resources? GROUP DISCUSSION 1. If you could choose 3 people to come to know Jesus as Savior today, who would they be (i.e. neighbor, co-worker, family member, etc.)? Why did you pick them? 2. What gifts and talents do you see in other members in your Life Group? How could hey use these to engage missionally? 3. What gifts, talents, and resources has your Life Group been blessed with? How could we best use them to love and serve others? Brainstorm some ideas together. 4. How can we encourage one another positively and regularly to share our faith with those who are far from Christ? Be specific. Pray for one another that you would be effective in ministry and service and pray with one another that God would use you to build His kingdom! 17 18
IDEAS FOR LIVING THE VALUE Practice sharing your testimonies or the gospel with one another to get more comfortable in sharing with others. Identify the people in your own spheres of influence that God is putting on your heart to be intentional with and pray for those people and interactions together. Share your stories with one another where God provided opportunities to serve others and share the gospel. As a Life Group, meet the need of a friend or neighbor who is far from Jesus. ADDITIONAL RESOURCES Organic Outreach for Ordinary People, Kevan Harney This study was originally produced by Watermark Church in Dallas, Texas. It has been adapted for the purposes of First Free Church, with permission. 19
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