Comments for Andrew Einstein s Memorial Service Thursday December 18, 2008 Delivered by Todd E. Hoffman I suppose there is a reason I am here to help represent the Trinity- Pawling community and speak to you about Andrew s brief, but significant time with us. I have a connection to this area, as I am likely one of the only people in New York State to have attended a football game in your treasured Death Valley. In the fall of 1991, when Andrew was only a year old, I travelled through Greenville to Clemson to see the Tigers play Virginia. What my friends and I did not know was that it was homecoming weekend, and thus there was no place to stay. We drove near where the floats were assembled and parked in an apartment complex. As we exited the car and some students noticed our New York plates, they asked us what we were doing there. We told them we were there to see the game and their response was, Y all are staying with us. This was my first taste of true southern hospitality. I learned quite a bit that weekend, but what was truly remarkable to me was that on the morning of the game all of these young men came calling dressed in white shirts and ties ready to escort their dates to the game. The code of the gentleman was fully on display that day and was forever etched in my memory. 1
It was immediately evident upon meeting Andrew in September that he had been imbued with the values of a gentleman. His yes sirs and no mams were music to our northern ears. Andrew was very proud of his southern heritage and, while it was part of his identity at Trinity-Pawling, it did not define him - or else he would have not become the center of such a solid group of friends from so many diverse places. In choosing Trinity- Pawling Andrew unwittingly located a unique and traditional oasis surrounded by all that is the loud and unsubtle north. Andrew found a place that teaches and celebrates the same core values that comprised his gentlemanly demeanor. He brought with him character, grace, honor, faith and virtue the values at the very core of the Trinity-Pawling community. In other words he found a true home away from home and in his brief time here, he made an incredible impact as the words of his friends and teachers will demonstrate. In the days following Andrew s passing, the students banded together to create a tribute to Andrew for the memorial service at school. They created a luminaria out of more than 100 paper bags and candles each bearing a personal message for Andrew. This flickering tribute lined the path along the quad that guided us to the chapel on Tuesday evening. Here are some of the words expressed by Andrew s fellow students. Harry wrote, I 2
remember a couple of days into school I did not yet know you, but you already knew my name. You were always reaching out and making new friends. Andrew decided to help manage the JV hockey team and one of the players, Matt, remarked, I thought of you as a kind and respectable person, and always will remember you. I will never forget our conversations my favorite being when you asked me why I was so mean on the ice. Another young man, Alex, offered this moving message, When people looked into your eyes, they could tell that someone was home. I will always remember your smile. Kyle, another boy new to T-P, observed, I will always remember your friendship and how humble you were. Thank you for being so nice to me when I was new at T-P. Andrew took his role as a freshman proctor and dorm mate seriously, eliciting the follow comments, You were a great proctor said Michael and David, while Nun touchingly wrote, the time we spent together as proctors and dorm mates was wonderful. You are the one I will never forget. Ben wrote, Even though some people would see four months as a blink of an eye, to me it feels like I have known you forever. Cas offered, I have only known you since the beginning of the school, but it feels like I have known you my whole life. You were there when I needed someone to talk to. There was one clear message throughout these heartfelt notes: Andrew was loved and will be 3
sorely missed by all, but clearly most by his inner circle the members of the Brotell. Andrew moved in with Pat and it was clear they were a wonderful match. From the beginning a steady stream of boys came to Hastings South to join the growing ranks of the brotell. It was clear that Andrew reveled in this setting of brotherhood. These boys quickly built bonds that have enabled Andrew s friends at T-P to find the strength to support each other in these trying times. The brotell was reserved not only for students, as many faculty visited to enjoy some good natured down time and share in the camaraderie that was the essence of this campus gathering spot, moving Mr. Tweed, coach of the lacrosse team, to refer to it as a family room a place to chill or relax. Andrew s constant presence was the foundation of this laid back and supportive climate. It will truly be difficult to imagine this place without Andrew s steadying and mature presence. Andrew also made a tremendous impact on the adults in our community as a student, athlete, and friend. Among the multitude of moving comments we received, the following seem to accurately describe the breadth of Andrew s tremendous and diverse talents. Mr. Webber who travelled here today offered these words, As senior class advisor I have always maintained that the strength of the Trinity-Pawling community is 4
dependent on the strength and character of the senior class. Further, the strength of the senior class is driven by the commitment, involvement, and character of the new post graduates. Andrew has risen as a centerpiece of this year s senior class and his leadership and character have been remarkable. Andrew and his close friends formed strong bonds, like those of brothers and together made a major impact on this school. Mr. Webber added, Andrew s love for the outdoors was evident in Environmental Science class, as his eagerness to learn and his dogged work ethic made him a top student. Andrew s determination made him a perfect fit for the demands and rigors of Cross Country, as managed by Coaches Carpiniello and McDougal. Coach Carpiniello, who was also Andrew s Analytical Writing teacher, noted, Andrew arrived on campus having NEVER competed in interscholastic XC and won our annual award. He ran 5:50's all season despite constant injury. Most of the time he ran 1/2 workouts and then voluntarily took ice baths in order to compete on race day. He took a college visit and had his dad drive him to the starting line in order to compete with his team. He demonstrated a physical toughness and endurance that was unrivaled. He ran with anybody on the team. Slow, fast, cool, uncool, athlete, spastic...it did not matter to him. 5
It is clear that there will be a huge void at Trinity-Pawling. Andrew was charismatic, compassionate, genuine, spirited, funny, extremely intelligent and insightful, dedicated, faithful, universally respected, a gentleman, and surely an incredible gift sent to us by a loving and wonderful family. I d like to close on a personal note. Andrew and I often spoke about and listened to music together. He was fond of several of the newer jam bands, while I am partial to the original masters the Grateful Dead. One particular song has really helped me get through the days since Sunday. It is titled Bird Song and I d like to share the lyrics and their meaning to me with all of you. All I know is something like a bird within him sang. All I know he sang a little while and then flew on. If you hear that same sweet song again will you know why? Anyone who sings a tune so sweet is passing by. Laugh in the sunshine sing cry in the dark fly through the night Andrew was that bird who sang so sweetly and briefly and then passed by, but is definitely singing his sweet song elsewhere, waiting for us to join him some day. The song ends - 6
Don't cry now Don't you cry Don't you cry anymore Sleep in the stars don't you cry dry your eyes on the wind Maybe this is Andrew telling us he is OK and that when our spirits fly to join him - the wind will dry our tears. Thank you all for sharing Andrew with Trinity-Pawling it was a match made in heaven. All of our heartfelt wishes are extended to Dan, Liz, William, and Charles, who will always be cherished members of the Trinity- Pawling community. God bless you all from your neighbors up north. 7