Kyla Henige Honors English 1 Mr.Erbach 10/15/18 What is Love? Now, as I walk the lonely hallways of this school, I can t help but think of her. I had missed the smell of her lilac perfume. Her long blonde luscious hair. The high pitch of her tittering throughout the halls. But when I see a figure in the doorway, with the aura of the sun around them, all of that stops. I remember meeting her for the first time years ago, in kindergarten. I never got up the nerve to talk to her until 6th grade, when we both joined the schools drama club and the news. I always thought of her as the popular athletic girl, but in all reality, she was the popular sports playing news drama geek. Damn was she gorgeous though. Even her name had me in awe. Genevieve. Her glistening hazel eyes, her blonde shiny hair, and her pearl white teeth. Just everything about her made me love her. In 8th grade we became super close, like never before. I developed feelings for her, but not just her, it was her and her best friend Sage. Although I d only known Sage for two years, I found her to be rather attractive. Towards the end of 8th grade I told Sage I liked her, not knowing that Genevieve liked me as much as I liked her. I wound up getting Genevieve s number, and Sages. The three of us hung out all Summer, but something changed about my feelings. I chose my Juliet. I went to Six Flags, my favorite amusement park, on August 5, with Genevieve, Michael, and Aria. Sage couldn t go because she was at a sleepover the previous night, and had chores to do. Bummer. When we got to the amusement park, we walked through the crowded paths towards the waterpark. The smell of sweet cotton candy, mixed with the overwhelming stench of cigarettes, brought back memories. I could picture me holding my father's hand as we walked through the parks, figuring out what rides I could go on. But I was pulled out of that daydream, when Michael shoved me out of the way to get into the water park first. Last one in is a rotten egg! he shouted. Of course I beat him though. I never really understood that though, he always had a head start, yet he always lost. When we got to into the waterpark, the overwhelming smell of chlorine made my nose burn. We went to the lazy river, where Genevieve and I shared a tube. When that was done, we went to the wave pool, where I practically had to hold Genevieve up, because the waves were engulfing her. When we got out of the pool, I had to push my longish locks out of my face, I hated having curly hair. But it seemed to attract the girls so I was doing something right. After we got all dried up, we got in line for lunch. Genevieve and I were splitting, so we went up to order the food. The smell of the food
made my mouth water. I was starving. As we sat in line, she kept giving me this mischievous look, and smiling at me. She was so adorable, and dang did that bathing suit look good on her. She probably felt the same about me to, I mean with these muscles showing, who wouldn t want me. When we finally got our food, we walked over and took a seat next to Michael and Aria. After we ate, we threw away our trash, and walked over to the waterslides. I found myself walking closer and closer to Genevieve. Finally, when we were side by side, I saw her look up at me and smile. She then proceeded to grab my hand with her smooth, delicate hands. I ve never felt so alive before. I knew at that moment that I was her Romeo, and she was my Juliet. After the water park, we went to the actual amusement park. Michael and Aria wanted to go on a different ride than us, so we split up. When we were waiting in line, I held Genevieve close to me. Occasionally, I d look down to her, and she d look up to me and just smile. It was that damn smile that got me every time. As we made our way to the front of the line, I looked down at her again, and as quick as it happened, she bounced up and kissed me. I blushed and sat there in shock. She to was blushing, but I worked up the nerve to lean down and kiss her back. We finally got on the ride, hand in hand. And I knew this was the time to make my move. I looked right into her beautiful eyes and whispered ever so slightly, Genevieve, will you go out with me? Why of course Andrew, I d love to go out with you. she had the biggest smile. I was shook. I ve never been so happy before. I threw my fist into the air and shouted YES. Genevieve blushed and began to giggle. Then we just sat there for a second or two gazing into eachothers eyes, and smiling. When we met back up with Aria and Michael, I told them how Genevieve and I were official. We finished out the day, and when her mom picked us up, Michael sat in front so that I could sit by Genevieve. As we piled into the back, I could see her mom glancing at us in the mirror. The car ride home was filled with throwback songs from our childhood, and lots of laughter. When we finally pulled into my driveway, I looked at Genevieve and smiled. I got out of the car and as I walked inside, I could see my parents peeking through the window. I just grinned at them. When I walked inside, my mom could tell something was clearly up. How was it? she asked in a peppy tone. She always liked Genevieve. I looked at her and smiled. She clearly knew that that was my way of saying I asked her out, and we re a couple. Genevieve and I hung out everyday that Summer. But when high school came around the corner, we didn t have much time to hang out. I was the marching band nerd, and she was the volleyball super star. She walked around the halls striving, always smiling. Whereas I walked around the halls quite and to our little group of friends. We both had practices everyday except for weekends. Eventually though, people started to notice me, thanks to her. I mean I was happy with my friend group before, but I was
getting more attention, which quite honestly I liked it. Eventually, Genevieve found herself struggling with her classes, I mean she was in all honors classes. Who wouldn t struggle with that? I knew her parents were strict, but this year they were even worse. Genevieve would always call me, Hey Andrew can we talk? she asked. I m really struggling right now and from then on all I heard was the teacher from Charlie Brown. Sometimes I d even mute her and just play my guitar, or tell her that I have homework to do. I mean she had such a great life, and her parents yelling at her once in awhile was nothing. Eventually, I just stopped listening to her problems. I think she finally realized that I didn t care for anything she said, I would seeing her talking to other people. Other guys. Now why would she talk to other guys, that s just flat out wrong. You shouldn t be talking to other guys as much as do. I told her one day in the hall. Well maybe if you d listen to me, I wouldn t need to talk to my friends. she snapped. I was starting to regret everything in this relationship, and we were only a month in. But you know, I just had to push through, because maybe this is what every relationship was like. Right? I didn t really see Genevieve anymore, we basically only ever talked over text, or call. I feel like I put a lot of effort into this relationship. Now don t get me wrong, she did to, but she was just clingy and complained to much. I kept talking to my friends about her, and how she s always like this. And when we did hang out, she wouldn t get physical. Like seriously, it always went like this, I get touchy and then she tells me, No, I don t want to. Why? I d ask. Because I said no. No means no. This relationship was going way to slow. I just wanted some action, some adventure. We always argued about it, Why can t you just accept the fact that I m sticking to my morals? You shouldn t be pressuring me. Okay. I moaned and rolled my eyes. Thank you. That was the end of that conversation. I honestly don t know what her problem was, but I was just going to let it slide because Homecoming was right around the corner. Genevieve sent me pictures of her dress and I was super excited for the dance. I decided to just let everything in the past go, and focus on now. Soon, it was the day of the dance, and I was hyped. I was really excited, and when I saw her at the gazebo in her beautiful maroon dress, I was stunned. She has never looked so gorgeous. I ran up to her and gave her a huge hug, and gave her her corsage.
After taking pictures, we hopped in the car and headed to Homecoming with Michael and his boyfriend. When we arrived at Homecoming, I took Genevieve's hand and we walked into the school together. We met Sage and Ashley inside. Sage s dress was skin tight, and looked so good on her. I couldn t help but stare. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Genevieve looking at me, trying to situate her dress to look tighter and sexier, but it just wasn t the same. I looked at Genevieve and just smiled. When we walked into the gym, where the actual dance took place, I noticed the circle in the center of the dancefloor. I guess the rumors were true, there really was grind circle. We all danced like no tomorrow, but my eyes just kept going to Sage. I couldn t give Genevieve attention, and she knew it, so she took me into the grind circle. All our friends followed, and found random boys to partner with. But when I saw Sage with that other guy I was almost pissed off. Just the way she moved, it was like I was high on her or something. I could see Genevieve was upset, but she didn t want to show it, so she ran to the bathroom, while Sage, Ashley, and another girl followed after her. After a minute of just standing there, I walked to the commons in front of the bathroom and just sat there waiting for them to come out. Five minutes passed, and Genevieve comes out first, pale but smiling, and the others follow her looking more pissed than anything. Nothing was said the rest of the night, we just danced to the fast paced, hip-hop music. I started to notice the overwhelming smell of colonel and perfume in the room, and it was giving me a headache. The throbbing lights were everywhere, and there were beach balls being thrown throughout the room. Finally, Homecoming ended and it was time to go home. When her mom picked us up, we got into the car, and said nothing. When we got into my driveway, I said my goodbyes and thank yous, and left. Later that night, at like 12 am, I texted Genevieve telling her that I do like Sage, but that I also developed feelings for Paysely, Genevieve s friend since the 1st grade. I could tell by the tone in her texting language that she was upset. But that didn t stop her from forgiving me, and moving on. Why would she stay with me when I basically betrayed her? I guess that just shows how much she really cares, and I owe her for that. But of course, the communication between us was weak, so I talked to my other friends. I told them how much I liked all three girls, but of course word got around to Genevieve, and again and again she forgave me. It was almost like I was unconsciously trying to get rid of her. Our two month anniversary came around the corner so fast. I honestly didn t know if I could take anymore of this relationship. I told all my friends how I wanted to break up with her for Paysely. Again, mistake. Genevieve called me later that night and ranted to me. Her voice was choking up, I gave you so many chances, and you took advantage of me. I did things that went against my morals to make you happy, and you repay me with this. I loved you, how could you do this to me? At that point I just didn t know what to do so I told her sorry and hung up the phone. Later that night, she texted me a paragraph,
Hey, she said, I m sorry about how I acted. I want you to know that I still want to be friends and all, just like the good old days. And if you being with somebody else makes you happy, then I m happy. Because you are my friend and I will always support you and be here for you. I didn t even reply. Nor did I reply to any of her text for the following weeks. I got a lot of hate from all of Genevieve s friends. In fact, half those people befriended me. It didn t really phase me though. Sooner or later, Paysely and I were a thing. We went out every day and hung out on the weekends. We always found a way to hang out. Paysely said she wasn t sure if she really had feelings for me, but that didn t stop me. I persevered and kept trying to convince her to date me. I actually forgot about Genevieve eventually. But then I heard her name in the halls at school and I couldn t help but wonder how she s doing. She s probably going mad without me. But now that I think of her, I can t get her off of my mind. I haven t responded to any of her texts, and now, I wish I had. Two days later, I was in class, daydreaming and thinking of Genevieve when I got a text message. Hey, how are you? I hope you re doing okay. I m not gonna lie, I really miss you. Wish you would talk to me. But so much for friendship right? Wow. I knew she was going mad without me. But I shouldn t be talking, I mean I m going mad without her. So, I called her. When she picked up I was so relieved to hear her voice. Hey, she said. The rest of that conversation was a blur, but we talked for hours and hours. Before she hung up I told her, I really want to see you again Genevieve. so we arranged to hang out this weekend. Good night. she said. Good night. and then silence. I told Paysely that I couldn t be with her because I still liked Genevieve. She wasn t even upset, which not gonna lie, kinda stung. On Saturday, Genevieve and I hung out on the beach, by her house. We talked about how the school year was going for us. Yea schools going good for me. I mean it could be better. How about you, how s school? I asked. I mean its school. There is such a big workload for me and.oh, sorry I m rambling. No go ahead, I m listening. Well, my parents, they just keep abusing me. It's not just physical, its verbal to. I want it to stop. And I know that if I talk to my counselor or the cops, they ll take aways my siblings to. But its not them. It's me. As she was talking, I noticed she had bags under her eyes, and it looked like one was healing from a bruise. I can t believe I was so ignorant and self absorbed, and yet
she always found a way to forgive me. As I apologized for my ignorance, I noticed her watching my lips. I couldn t help but lean over and kiss her. I missed that feeling. It was as if everytime we kissed, there was a zing moment. She looked into my daring eyes. As she leaned forward, I felt her smooth lips press against mine. She leaned back, as if deciding whether or not to do it again, but she did. We sat there under the sunset for what seemed like forever. Soon, when dark fell, I walked her home. When we got up to the driveway, we said our goodbyes, and I started heading home. As I was getting ready for bed, I couldn t help but smile. And I realized that I m happy. That was the official moment I knew that she was the one. I loved Genevieve. At school, we sat together, walked the halls together, and laughed together. We were dating, but there was no need for a proposal. Genevieve made me so happy, and I know I made her happy to, it was just that I could still see the sadness in her eyes, and the bruises were getting worse. I didn t know what to do so I just stayed by her side and was there for her at all times. One day, Genevieve didn t go to school, which was odd, because she never missed a day of school in her life. So I tried calling her, and texting her but there was no reply. What if her parents beat to death? What if they have her phone? With all these thoughts swirling through my head, I called my mom to pick me up. My mom asked no questions, she could probably hear the panic in my voice. She was there within 10 minutes. I asked her to bring me to the hospital, I had a gut feeling Genevieve would be there. When I went to the front desk, I asked for Genevieve Robins, and they said she was there. She was in room 492. I thanked the lady working the desk and sprinted to the elevator, clicking the buttons non-stop until I got the floor I needed. When I got down the hall and to room 492, I could see her laying in the bed resting. She looked different. More porcelain like. More, dead. When I walked into her room, she looked at me and gave me the biggest smile. She wouldn t talk, just whisper. I m not quite sure what she said happened, but I know it has to do with her parents. I asked my mom to bring me a case of close, and to call the school and let them know that I wouldn t be in class until Genevieve gets better. So, I spent the next 3 weeks in the hospital with her, at her side. And when it came time for her to be picked up, her parents told her to find a way home because they weren t going to give her a ride. So of course, I gave her a ride, but not to her house. I let her sleep in my room, while I slept on the floor. Her parents never called to ask where she was, or if she was okay. I mean seriously, what the hell is their problem? Another 2 weeks past, and Genevieve was still with me. We started going to school again, but no one seemed to talk to us. Genevieve was now a pale scrawny girl, and I was her right hand man, her supporter, her boyfriend. No one wanted to talk to us, because it was either embarrassing for them, or to much for them to handle. I know how they feel though, seeing a loved one look this bad, it almost scares you right out of your skin. But it doesn t matter what she looks like, we are going to get through this together. I ve noticed that Genevieve s been healing, except one thing hasn t healed. The cuts on her thighs. They are higher up, so you wouldn t think to notice them, but they are there, scars,
and cuts. I don t want to think she s doing it, but what if she is? I finally got up the nerve to approach her about it one day, and I just remember her sobbing in my arms, I don t want to live. Life is to hard, I m just not ready for it. I can t anymore. Why would she say such a thing? She deserves to live so much more than half the people on this Earth. Why? I told her everything was going to be okay, and that she is amazing. She shouldn t be thinking like that. She is worth it, and if anything happens to her, I don t know what I ll do. I love her too much to say goodbye to her already. We spent another 2 weeks off of school, to just stay at home and relax. I realized she was so much more relaxed when we were here. And seeing her happy made me happy. I just wish I could give her a way of seeing herself as I see her, how others see her. As a happy, wonderful person, who is a great leader. But I can only do so much to help. One day, while Genevieve stayed home, and I went out to get us lunch. I came back to see her passed out with a bottle of bleached spilled everywhere around her. I was so scared I didn t know what to do. I called 9-1-1. 9-1-1 what s your emergency? My girlfriend, she drank bleach. Please send help now! I found myself yelling at the women over the phone. Sir, you need to calm down. Now tell me, what is the address of the problem? I gave her all my information, and kept checking on Genevieve s pulse. When the ambulance finally arrived, they got her onto a stretcher. On the ambulance, I was asked a series of questions, How are you related to the patient? What happened? What time did this occur? Are you a witness? I was so overwhelmed, and shook I didn t know what to say. I was speechless. When we got to the hospital, she brought into surgery immediately, and had her stomach flushed. After her surgery, she was put in room 420. Later that day, the surgeon came in and said she would be fine. But when he left, I just looked at her. And the only thing I could say was, Why? She couldn t talk, or do anything. But when I looked at her again, I saw a single tear glide down her face. I felt so bad for her. I leaned over and kissed her forehead, and she smiled, her beautiful smile. That was the moment that I realized, relationships weren t just something you take for granite. They re something you cherish forever. And no matter what happens, you re always there for each other, hand in hand. I watched her as she fell asleep. She looked so peaceful. I don t remember when, but I wound up falling asleep to. It s been a long day for the both of us. I had a dream that she was gone. She was never in my life. But I didn t know what that was supposed to mean. Then, I saw an image of her whispering, I m okay. I m happy now. She kept repeating this, over and over.
What do you mean? I asked with a worrisome tone. I then felt a little shake, and jolted out of my sleep. I was sweaty, and my long shaggy hair was hanging over my face. When I looked up, I saw her. Her skin had gone back to its normal color, and her smile was more genuine. The doctors told me it d be awhile before she d get out. They told me that I needed to go back home and get some rest. I resisted, but finally the doctors made me come to terms with them. We ll take good care of her, the doctor said as I walked myself out of the room. she ll be back in no time. For the next week or so, I had been going to school wondering when my love would come back. I wondered if something bad had happened to her. When I called the hospital, they always said she wasn t taking calls right now. What if her family took her? What if they sent her somewhere else? I had all these thoughts spiraling through my head, but I knew that I could only wish for the best. Now, as I walk the lonely hallways of this school, I can t help but think of her. I had missed the smell of her lilac perfume. Her long blonde luscious hair. The high pitch of her tittering throughout the halls. But when I see a figure in the doorway, with the aura of the sun around them, all of that stops.