Issues for faith communities: Forgiveness, Repentance, Accountability & Justice. David Robertson

Transcription

1 Issues for faith communities: Forgiveness, Repentance, Accountability & Justice Seminar 5 David Robertson

2 Seminar Aims: For participants to: 1) Consider issues that Christians often struggle with 2) Have an awareness of some misunderstandings of Scripture 3) Be aware that Scriptures can be misused or misapplied at times 4) Articulate safeguarding as a principle of Scripture

3 Why Forgive? To pursue revenge is to dig two graves (Chinese proverb) Forgiveness is an opportunity to Breakthe unhelpful, self destructive cycles Healthe pain that will not heal itself Releasethe victim from the shackles of the past Placeresponsibility for the abuse with the abuser

4 Misunderstandings Beliefs about forgiveness that are urged upon a victim may be prompted by a desire to: woo the offender to repentance bring comfort to the church create an illusion of harmony preserve the good name of the church For example Isn t it time you forgave him and moved on? If God forgives him then surely it s up to you to do the same Demands for victims to forgive, from family or significant people, can contribute to further abuse.

5 Matthew 18: The Peter came to Jesus and asked, Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times? Jesus answered, I tell you, not seven times, but up to seventy times seven. Discuss... What do you think is meant here? What are the implications of that?

6 Nothing superficial will suffice 7 x or 77x or 490 x is a legalistic, self-righteous approach It requires a forgiving heart to forgive from the heart ( Matthew18:21,22 ) (Leviticus 19:17,18) This is God s work: He forgets as only he can I will forgive their sins and remember them no more

7 Matt 18: Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold [h] was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. 26 At this the servant fell on his knees before him. Be patient with me, he begged, and I will pay back everything. 27 The servant s master took pity on him, cancelled the debt and let him go. 28 But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. [i] He grabbed him and began to choke him. Pay back what you owe me! he demanded. 29 His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, Be patient with me, and I will pay it back. 30 But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened. 32 Then the master called the servant in. You wicked servant, he said, I cancelled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you? 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. 35 This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.

8 2 Servants Both servants had a debt and needed forgiveness o Not because victims are complicit in the abuse o Being abused does not make victims good/bad people We are all called to forgive o We all need God s grace and forgiveness (Romans 3:23) The ungrateful servant had a huge debt o He could not forgive a smalldebt Sexual abuse is always a huge debt it never has a small impact o It deserves to be grieved Forgiveness is an acknowledgement of our humanity o The offender is released, though not excused, answerable to God for his/her actions

9 What forgiveness is not

10 1. Forgetting the offence 2. Excusing or minimizing the offence 3. Tolerating or condoning what is unacceptable 4. Avoiding conflict or confrontation 5. Extending unconditional trust 6. A global cover for all offences 7. An automatic pathway to healing fractured relationships 8. A means of manipulating others 9. A license for consequences upon an offender to be ignored

11 What forgiveness is

12 1. A process (not a single event) 2. Flows out of healing which takes time 3. In an act / decision of personal choice 4. Has emotional and cognitive dimensions 5. Is an act of grace, a gift (i.e. it is not natural) 6. May be likened to a journey (perhaps a lifelong one)

13 Repentance

14 Luke 17: 3 4 Take heed to yourselves; if your brother sins, rebuke him and if he repents, forgive him Provides authority for the Church to: Call the abuser to account Insist on interventions Require long-term accountability Challenge minimization Combat cheap grace and easy forgiveness that avoids the hard soul-searching work of repentance

15 Truth & Justice Seven Elements 1. The truth must be known 2. Acknowledgement 3. Compassion 4. Protection 5. Accountability 6. Restitution 7. Vindication

16 Elements of Justice Truth telling: to break the cycle of silence and secrecy, the truth needs to be known Acknowledgement: to affirm the reality of the violation or harm Compassion: to show concern for the personal impacts and tangible support for practical needs Protection: for the person and other potential victims Accountability: calls the offender to give account rather than just sort it out privately

17 Holding the offender accountable Allows the offender opportunity to: Feel for the victim s pain and loss Sit with their discomfort rather than dismiss or avoid it prematurely Experience repentance as a process Seek long-term intervention to change Realize consequences of their offending upon secondary victims and observers Accept scrutiny as an aid to living a changed life

18 Restitution & Vindication

19 Numbers 5:5 Practical Restitution An offender can never fully restore what has been lost or taken. An offender can, however, pay for counseling fees, medical bills, loan repayments, or contribute to non-tangible losses Vindication To set free or proclaim rightness of cause

20 Conclusion Seminar 5 Q. How does the Scripture support safe church practices? A. [imagine your answers here] Responses and Q & A PowerPoint at under training Next Seminar Issues & Challenges for Safe Place Coordinators