The Young Woman s Companion

Transcription

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2 The Young Woman s Companion Ref. AU9004 ISBN: Navigating this CD To view the contents of this CD use the bookmarks and Adobe Reader s forward and back buttons to browse through the pages. Alternatively use any table of contents or book index to look for specific information and then use Adobe Reader s page navigation controls in the status bar at the bottom of the window to go to the relevant page. Searching this CD This CD is searchable using Adobe Acrobat Reader 4 or later. It is also FASTFIND enabled, giving very fast searches of all files on the CD at once! The FASTFIND search enhancement only works with Adobe Reader 6 or later. Use the Binoculars/Search icon in Adobe Reader or Search under the Edit menu to initiate all searches. For more information on advanced searching and other tips for the best search results click here Generally 95% - 99% of the words can be searched. Where the original type was poor the words may not be recognised for searching. The technical advancements that allow this searching bring a wonderful finding aid but there is still no substitute for reading the book! This is one of over 1500 products published by Archive Digital Books Australasia and over 3000 internationally from the international Archive CD Books project Click on this box for the full online catalogue FREE download samplers available for most Australian and New Zealand products Archive Digital Books Australasia exists to make reproductions of old books, documents and maps available in digital form, and to co-operate with family and local history societies, libraries, museums and record offices to digitise their collections in return for other benefits. Copyright 2009 Archive Digital Books Australasia All Rights Reserved

3 YOUNG THE WOMAN'S COMPANION; BEING A GUIDE TO EVERY ACQUIREMENT ESSENTIAL IN FORMING THE CHARACTER OF FEMALE SERVANTS CONTAINING MORAL AND RELIGIOUS LETTERS, ESSAYS, AND TALES; ALSO, VALUABLE RECEIPTS AND DIRECTIONS, RELATING TO DOMESTIC ECONOMY. LONDON: ALLMAN AND SON, 42, IIOLBORN BILL.

4 THE YOUNG WOMAN'S COMPANION. LETTERS FROM A FATHER TO HIS DAUGHTER. The Duty of Prayer. The Goodness of God displayed in the Works of Creation. MY DEAR CHILD, Tsv dear mother is gone before me, and left me to act for her; and happy it is for thee that I am alive ; for young women, particularly of thy condition in Tife, when deprived of their parents, are so much at their own disposal, that they often dispose of themselves very badly. Methinks a separation, after seventeen years ' tender acquaintance with thee, even from thy birth, wi ll be like parting with the blood that streams through my heart ; especially as thou art going into a world with which thou art not acquainted. Believe me it is a bad world in many respects, but yet not quite so bad as some good people imagine. Whether it will prove to thee a good or a bad world greatly depends upon thyself: if thou wouldst have it a good one, turn aside from every evil way, and cleave to goodness. Remember, thou hast a Heavenly Father, in whose sight I am but a miserable sinner. To his Providence I recommend thee. If t uou art true to him, he will never forsake thee. 0 God, preserve my child! keep her from presumptuous sins ; cleanse her from those secret faults which cleave to our imperfect nature ; and make her acceptable to thee, whom I have sought to serve, by bringing up my ch il d in thy fear!

5 103 DOMESTIC ECONOMY. Economy is so important a part of a woman's character, so necessary to her own happiness, and so essential to her performing properly the duties of a wife and of a mother, that it ought to have the precedence of all other accomplishments, and to take its rank next to the first duties of life. Yet this is too often neglected in a young woman's education; and she is sent from the house of her father to govern a family, without that knowledge which is necessary to qualify her for it ; this is the source of much inconvenience, and nay be attended with unpleasant consequences. The husband's opinion of his wife's incapacity for domestic affairs may be fixed too strongly to suffer him ever to think justly of gradual improvements. A woman, whatever other qualifications she may possess, who does not understand domestic economy, is a very improper person for a wife. Young women should endeavour in early life to lay in a store of knowledge on this subject, even before they are called to the practice of it. They should daily observe what passes before them ; they should consult prudent and experienced mistresses of families; and should enter in a book every new piece of intelligence they acquire; they should afterwards compare these with more mature observations, and make additions and corrections as they see occasion. The first and greatest point in domestic economy, is to lay out your general plan of living in a just proportion to your income : if you would enjoy real comfort in the management of your income, either to prepare for contingencies, or to increase your funds of charity, which are in fact the true funds of pleasure. In order to settle your plan, it will be necessary to make a pretty exact calculation : and if from thi;t time you accustom yourselves to take an account of all the little expenses entrusted to you, you wib

6 152 RULES FOR MATRIMONIAL HAPPINESS. the heart," (the inward frame and disposition of the mind) in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price." It would be too much to assert, on the one hand, that it was the intention of either of the apostles, in giving these directions, to proscribe the use of the particular kinds of personal ornaments which he specifies. But, on the other hand, it was unquestionably the design of both, to proscribe whatever may be justly styled solicitude respecting any kind of personal decorations; and to censure those who, instead of resting their claim to approbation solely on the tempers of the soul, in any degree should ambitiously seek to be noticed and praised for exterior embellishments, as deviating precisely in that degree from the simplicitly and purity of the Christian character RULES FOR MATRIMONIAL HAPPINESS. The foundation of the greater portion of the unhappiness which clouds matrimonial life, is to be sought in the.,unconcern so prevalent in the world as to those radical principles on which character, and the permanence of character, depend-the principles of religion. Popular language indicates the state of popular opinion. If an union about to take place, or recently contracted between two young persons, be mentioned in conversation, the first question which we hear asked concerning it, is, " Is it a good match?" The very countenance and voice of the inquirer, and of the answerer, the terms of the answer returned, and the observations, whether expressive of satisfaction or of regret, which fall from the lips of the company present in the circle, all concur to show what in common estimation is meant by being well married. If a young woman be describe d as thus married, the terms imply, that she

7 16! DUTIES OF MARRIED WOMEN. Among the most important of the duties pecuhar to the situation of a married woman, are to be ranked those arising from the influence which she will naturally possess over the conduct and character of her husband. If it be scarcely possible for two persons connected by the ties of common friendship, to live constantly together, or even habitually to pass much time in the society of each other, without gradually approaching nearer and nearer to their sentiments and habits ; still less probable is it, that from the closest and most attractive of all bonds of union a similar effect should not be the result. The effect will be experienced by both parties, and perhaps in an equal degree. But if it be felt by one in a greater degree than by the other, it seems likely to be thus felt by the husband. In female manners, inspired by affection, and bearing at once the stamp of modesty and of good sense, example operates with a captivating force which few bosoms can rc,- sist. When the heart is won, the judgment is easiiy persuaded. It waits not for the slow process of argument to prove that to be right, which it already thinks too amiable to be wrong. To the fascinating charms of female virtue when adorned by its highest embellishment, diffidence, the Scriptures themselves bear testimony. St. Peter, addressing himself to married women, some of whom, in those days, had been converted to the Christian religion, while their husbands remained yet in idolatry, speaks in the following terms : 11 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that if any obey not the word, they also, without the word, may be won by the conversation of the wives ; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear." To every woman, who, in modern times, is unhappy enough to have a husband ignorant of the precepts. 11

8 175 REGULATION OF THE HEART AND AFFECTIONS. You will have read the New Testament to very little purpose, if you do not perceive the great end and intention of all its precepts to be the improvement and regulation of the heart ; not the outward actions alone, but the inward affections which give birth to them, are the subjects of those precepts; as appears in our Saviour's explanation (Matt. v.) of the commandments delivered to Moses, and in a thousand other passages of the gospels, which it is needless to recite. There are no virtues more insisted on, as necessary to our future happiness, than humility and sincerity, or uprightness of heart; yet none more difficult and rare. Pride and vanity are vices opposed to humility, and the sources of almost all the worst faults both of men and women. The latter are particularly accused, and not without reason, of vanity ; the vice of little minds, chiefly conversant with trifling subjects. Pride and vanity have been supposed to differ so essentially as hardly ever to be found in the same person. " Too proud to be vain," is no uncommon expression, by which is meant, too proud in being over anxious for the admiration of others ; but this seems to be founded on mistake. Pride is a high opinion of one's self, and an affected contempt of others ; for, that it is not a real contempt is evident from this, that the lowest object of it is important enough to torture the proud man's heart, only by refusing him the homage and adoration he requires. Thus Haman could realise none of the advantages on which he valued himself, whilst that Mordecai, whom he pretended to despise, sat still in the king's gate and would not bow to him as lie passed. But, as the proud man's contempt of others is only assumed with a view to awe them into

9 184 THE BENEFIT OF ADVERSITY. Good when he gives, supremely good, Nor less when he denies, E'en crosses from his sovereign hand Are blessings in disguise. WATTS. The sacred writings, in almost every page, warn mankind against the insolence of prosperity, and afford the most striking pictures of men, who, having been raised from nothing to greatness, became insensible to every past office of friendship, and sinned against that very zeal or favour to which they principally owed their elevation. On the other hand, adversity is described in the holy volume, as the salutary chatsisement of an all-wise and affectionate Parent, who wishes to reclaim his child, and call back the prodigal to his father 's home. Prosperity frequently inflates the mind as particu, lar diseases enlarge the circumference of the body, a change which proceeds from some powerful relaxation, and which is a sign of danger and decay. Mental imbecility causes the one, and some kind of corporeal weakness the other. But so are we made, that to bear a sudden elevation with temperance and humility, requires an almost gigantic resolution; and he must possess an eagle's eye, who can look at the sudden splendour of prosperity without winking. To outstrip every competitor ; to soar above the ma li ce of those who once hated us, and be shielded from the attacks of those who persecuted us ; to be suddenly raised to the means of crushing those who had done us evil, and of rewarding those who had done us good ; to be removed from the necessity of looking humble before the proud, and enabled to return the superci lious glance of that pride which had lately disdained us, in short, to find every with of humble and anxious life at once realized into grati fication ; these, surely, are circumstances so flattering to the weakness of human nature, that it

10 236 ON THE MANAGEMENT OF A FAMILY. In every rank, those deserve the greatest praise, who best acquit themselves of the duties which their station requires. Indeed, this line of conduct is not a matter of choice but of necessity, if we would maintain the dignity of our character as rational beings. In the variety of female acquirements, though domestic occupations stand not so high in esteem as they formerly did, yet, when neglected, they produce much human misery. There was a time when ladies knew nothing beyond their own family concerns ; but, in the present day, there are many who know nothing about them. Each of these extremes should be avoided; but is there no way to unite, in the female character, cultivation of talents and habits of usefulness? Happily there are still great numbers in every situation, whose example proves that this is possible. Instances may be found of ladies in the higher walks of life, who condescend to examine the accounts of their house-steward; and, by overlooking and wisely directing the expenditure of that part of their husband's income which falls under their own inspection, avoid the inconveniences of embarrassed circumstances. How much more necessary, then, is domestic knowledge in those whose limited fortunes press on their attention considerations of the strictest economy! There ought to be a material difference in the degree of care which a person of a large and independent estate bestows upon money concerns, and that of a person in confined circumstances ; yet both may very commendably employ some portion of Their time and thoughts on this subject. The custom of the times tends in some measure to abolish the distinctions of rank; and the education given to young people is nearly the same in all; but though the leisure of the higher may be well devoted to elegant accomplishments, the pursuits of those in a middle li ne, if less ornamental,

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