The Mythical Reality Of Indian Womanhood

Transcription

1 Lokayan Bulletin, 5 : 6, 1987 The Mythical Reality Of Indian Womanhood Surabhiben Sheth The invoking of imageries, ostensibly sanctified by tradition, has for long been a favourite mode of settling arguments and never more vociferously than in the case of women. Everytime a woman is seen as stepping out-of-line, some person or learned saying or event from the past is plucked out to prove to her that what she is doing or thinking is wrong. Ideological arguments, particularly when based on a reading of the mythical past, are weapons which can turn either way. Often the same myths which for long served the purpose of ideological subjugation of women, have been used by the protagonists of an alternative value system to buttress their arguments and thus, in this never ending battle, all of us keep on conjuring up revised and new myths. The recent event of widow-burning in Deorala has predictably led to a frenzied trading of charges. In the ensuing mellee, partly commented upon in the previous issue of the Lokayan Bulletin, one casualty has been our past. Since various diluted and undiluted `supporters' of the event in Deorala have called upon their interpretation of the Indian past, particularly with reference to the moral order pertaining to women, and since many in our country continue to, with varying degrees of purity, believe in and try to live by what they feel the Vedas and the Puranas have sanctioned, we felt it worthwhile to initiate another attempt to look at our past. Such an exercise is undoubtedly hazardous. For us the past

2 is not just something which once happened, but a living, palpable reality governing both our present and future. To deal with myths, each of which has hundreds of variations, is a mind-boggling exercise indeed particularly since no interpretation can ever lay claim to finality. The article by Dr. Surabhiben Sheth, noted Sanskrit scholar and Professor at Daulat Rain College, Delhi University, attempts to present brief profiles of twenty-one women most commonly referred to when invoking moral stances about Indian women. The article, originally written in Gujarati, for the Journal Arthat with supporting evidence of citations and footnotes (these unfortunately had to be deleted in the current version), presents to us a bewildering mix of the values which governed the lives of these women, as women and as wives. The invocation to Tara as one of the panch-kanyas continues to be one of the paradoxes of Indian mythology. It is also interesting that only one of these women, Rukmani, wife of Krasna, felt it fit to immolate herself at the death of her husband, though not with his dead body. Far more important for us is, however, to come to terms with the restrictive nature of the values governing the lives of all these women. One learns that as Hindu society stabilised, moral codes 12 governing the sexual freedom of women become stricter and more male-biased. This is not quite the time to go into the why's and how's of this transformation. What is clear, however, is that the versions which have for centuries been dinned into all of us create a structure of morality that leaves little freedom to women, particularly as wives. But since the myths continue to have a live value, it is important that those of us who feel uncomfortable with what is propogated to us as right, educate ourselves with our collective, societal past. It would be, one presumes, a little difficult to work towards a new future which has little bearing on, or draws little from, our living past. It is to this end that Surabhiben's article is directed. Ancient Indian literature contains narratives of many women whom the people of India adore, admire and cherish as ideals of Hindu womanhood. Their names are invoked for blessings and benedictions on numerous auspicious occasions and festivities. The creating of a model of an Hindu woman from her birth to her death is a continuous process of religious training. She is taught devotion to God, duty to her husband, kindness to her neighbours, and charity to the poor, among other qualities. She is encouraged to perform many vratas to secure the best

3 husband for herself as a girl and to secure long life for her husband later. Marriage is one of the sixteen major sacremants of Hindu life, and the marriage rites eulogise the conjugal relationship. The bridegroom takes a solemn oath and a sacred undertaking of the union of mind and body. The bridegroom recites, "I take thy hand for prosperity (or love), so that you may grow to old age with me, thy husband; the gods Bhaga, Aryaman, Savita, the wise Pusan have given thee to me for performing the duties of a householder." The ideal of happy conjugal life is actively supported by statements like 'where the husband and wife are compatible with each other, Dharma, Artha and Kama flourish'. Bhavabhuti describes ideal married life in the following terms : `That which perfectly unites both in happiness and misery and accompanies all the conditions of life, where the heart finds its respose, in which the flavour of enjoyment is not carried away by old age, which, as the veil of reserve falls off in corn se of time ripens and remains unchanged as the essence of love that singular bliss, only the fortunate among men, secure by chance!' At the same time, the burden of sustaining conjugal bliss 13 rests with the wife. The stnritis prescribe rewards for the wife's single-minded devotion to her husband and her rigid observance of the rules of conduct (Manu IX 29, 30). Brhaspati (quoted by Afararka, P. 109; by Mitaksara in Yajnavalkya 1.46) defines a pativrata as one who is distressed when her husband is distressed, who is delighted when her husband is in delight, who is emaciated and wears dirty clothes when her husband goes on a journey and who dies at the death of her husband. The husband is the sole goal of a woman's existence. The Ramayana (Ayodhya Kanda ) prescribes, 'The husband is the god and master of the wife while she is alive and she obtains the highest heaven by serving her husband. The Matsyapurana adds that the husband is God and the highest goal for the woman; the father, the brother and the son give what is limited; what woman does not worship the husband who gives what is unlimited and immensurable. The husband was also expected to discharge his duties towards his wife. Thus it is said that as the husband maintains the wife, he is called Bharta; as he takes care, looks after and protects his wife, he is called Pati; as he is the owner of her body. he is called Swami; as he satisfies her desires, he is called Bandhu, as he gives her all his love, he is called Priya; as he

4 brings her, prosperity, he is called Isa; as he is the master of her life, he is called Prananayaka; and as he gives her all the pleasures of conjugality, he is called Ramana (quoted in Pati- Pujavidhanam compiled by Lodd Govindoss, P. 26). Manu (XI-10) declares that one must maintain one's aged parents, a virtuous wife and a minor son by doing even a hundred bad acts. The Smrtikara declares that women are not independent, but dependent in all matters on man and that in childhood, after marriage and in old age they are to be guarded by the father, the husband and the son respectively. Varahmihira in his Brhatsamhita makes a spirited defence of women (Brhatsamhita 74.5, 6, 11, 15, 16) and Kalidasa and Bhavabhuti both depict in very delicate terms the beauty of the relationship between a loving husband and wife (Raghuvamsa VIII. 66. Maltimadhava VI). The Mahabharata describes a wife as the home itself and compares a house without a wife to a desolate forest, and adds that there is no real well-wisher like the wife in the life of the husband. Where the husband and wife play complimentary roles and reciprocate goodwill and love towards each other, the three Purusarthas are properly practiced and the home becomes an abode of happiness. 14 In the light of the above picture, let us examine the lives of some of the prominent women of ancient India. Were these wo men secure in their married life? Was this ideal of `dampatya' a happy married life achieved in real life? Were these wives protected by their husbands in times of their crisis? While expecting total devotion from their wives, were the husbands completely devoted to their wives? Did they share equally all the responsibilities of Grhasthasrama? By way of illustration, a few examples are cited here, but a comprehensive survey of all women in Sanskrit literature, their relationship vis-a-vis their husbands and other relatives will help greatly in obtaining a clearer picture of the position of women in ancient Indian society. After the marriage rites are over, at the time of bidding farewell to the daughter, the relatives while showering flower-petals on the bride, bless her with the following words :- May you be to your husband as Sita was to Rama, Vinita to Rasyapa, Swaha to Pavaka, Dhamayanti to Nala, Arundhati to Vasistha, Sudaksina to Dilipa, Devaki to Vasudeva, Lopanudra to Agastya, Ganga to Santanu, Subhadra to Arjuna, Gandhari to Dhrtarashtra, Ahalya to Gautama, Draupadi to Pandvas, Tara to Vali, Mandodari to Ravana, Kunti to Pandu, Ansuya to Atri, Renuka to Jamadagni, Rukmini to Krishna, Sakuntala to

5 Dusyanta and Urmila to Lakshmana. These are the couples whose married life is held aloft as an ideal for a newly married daughter, when the relatives wish her life with her husband to be as happy as theirs. But let us see what that life was. I. Rama and Sita Rama and Sita are held as symbols of ideal love. Though their story is well-known, let us neverthlecs recapture briefly. Rama married Sita, indulgently brought up by king Janaka, after breaking Shiva's bow. In order to fulfil the pledge given by Rama's father, Dasaratha, to his wife Kaikayi, it was decided that Rama should abdicate his claim to the throne and go to the forest for fourteen years. Sita chose to spend the prime of her youth in the forest with Rama, At the time of this decision, it becomes clear that within the epic Ramayana, Dasaratha tended to ignore and disregard his wife Kausalya, Rama's mother, and had great partiality for his younger wife Kaikeyi. When Kausalya heard of Rama's banishment, she herself wanted to accompany him because she did not feel any sense of security via-a vis Dasaratha. When Kausalya herself did not want to stay on in the palace after Rama's departure under the insolent Kaikeyi while Bharata ruled, it is but natural that Sita too chose to go with Rama. She suffered all the hardships of the forest stay with Rama, even as the bond of love between them became stronger. After continuouly wearing hard tree-bark clothes, it was also natural for Janaka's daughter to feel attracted by the golden deer-skin. If Sita committed any mistake, it was to cross the Laksmanrekhathe boundary line drawn outside the but by Laksmana. For this small mistake, she had to suffer a heavy punishment. While returning from Ravana's Lanka, even though Rama was fully convinced of her purity, she was made to face tne fire-ordeal to convince the people. Even though she came out of this ordeal completely unscathed, she was abandoned in a totally helpless condition because of a chance remark made by a washerman, even though she was pregnant. She was not given any protection due even to an ordinary citizen! That Rama did not marry again in the memory of his discarded wife was considered his greatness. The responsibility of bringing up their two sons, all alone, was shouldered by Sita. Sita spent a terrible period of her life in great helplessness torn between a troublesome past and an uncertain future. As if this was not enough, at the time of their second reunion, Sita was once again asked to prove her purity. 15

6 This proved to be unbearable, even for her. At the time of her tragic end it is easy to imagine Sita's feelings. At what cost was the 'happiness' she achieved with Rama; what dignity; what care; what security and protection; and what a sense of belonging! What did this helpless woman do this time? She preferred to be buried alive, rather than suffer the indignity of once again proving her innocence : 'Let me merge into the source from where I emerged.' She remembered her mother and merged into the mother-earth from where she was born. Sita is the best illustration of the fact that a woman protects herself: neither the husband nor the society saved her from indignity. Sita has been held up as an example to be followed by Hindu women, and her greatness in considered to lie in the annihilation of her individuality. The story of Sita has been a main-stay of many Hindu women who have borne their suff erings ungrudgingly, and have accepted the annihilation of their personality as the general ideal of perfection. But ultimately it appears that no woman, however devoted, could ever live up to the ideals of 'devotedness to husband' set up by impossible masculine standards. The story, in the end, has proved to be more of a warning than an example Kasyapa and Vinata Prajapati Daksa had sixty daughters, thirteen out of whom were married to the sage Kasyapa. Vinata was the third wife after Aditi and Ditti. There is no specific reference to show that Kasyapa had any special affection for Vinata. In fact, there were only two noteworthy incidents in Vinata's life: (1) to give birth two sons Garuda and Aruna and (ii) her quarrel with her sistercum-co-wife Kadru. When the two sisters who are also co-wives quarrel, one can imagine its extent. The reason behind lifelong enimity between Garuda and the serpents can be traced to the enimity of their mothers. Once Kadru (mother of serpents) and Vinata (mother of Garuda) had an argument about the whoar of the horse that arose out of the ocean, and it was decided that whosoever lost in the dispute would become the slave of the other. Vinata lost, and she was imprisoned by serpents in the nether regions. When Garuda prayed for her release, the serpents asked for the moon by way of ransom. While searching for the moon, Garuda met his father Kasyapa in the region of the Pole-star. Kasyapa directed him to a reservoir of water where he could satisfy his hunger. Kasyapa neither asked about the well-being of Vinata

7 nor did he play any role in bringing about any reconciliation between Kadru and Vinata. He remained completely aloof and indifferent towards the entire affair. 3. Pavaka and Swaha The seven constelations visible in the sky are the seven sages who used to live with their wives. Once it so happened that Agni, the fire-god, became infatuated on seeing the wives of the sages, but as he knew that all the wives were devoted to their husbands, he started roaming about from one place to the other to cool his passion. In the meantime Swaha, Daksa's daughter, saw him and fell in love with him, but when she came to know that Agni was attracted toward the wives of the sages, she disguised herself one by one barring Arundhati, Vasistha's wife as the wives of the sages, and thus managed to visit Agni six times. As a result of this association, Kumara or Kartikeya was born with six heads, twelve ears, twelve eyes, arms and feet and one neck and one belly. On seeing these outrageous unions of their wives with Fire, the sages got extremely angry and abandoned their wives. Only Arundhati was spared, and she got a place of a small, bright star in the sky. `Be you to your husband as Swaha was to Pavaka'. While blessing the daughter with these words, it is desirable to remember the above anecdote. Do we want such happiness for a daughter where her husband would love her thinking her to be someone else whom he loves, and that too a different women each time! The meaning of Swaha is ash, obtained in fire, and the meaning of Pavaka is purifier. Absolute self-surrender to the husband as the surest means of self-effacement for women is symbolised in the relationship of Pavaka and Swaha Nala and Damayanti The marriage of Nala and Damyanti is the best example of unconditional ideal marriage in Mahabharata. They had fallen in love before even seeing each other, only on the basis of hearing about the reported greatness and beauty of the other. But their married life is full of pathos. Nala loses everything in a gambling bout with his brother Puskara, and goes off to the forest with his wife. There he throws his clothes as a net to catch the birds but they fly away carrying his clothes, laughing

8 18 at the naked king. Being thoroughly depressed with life, Nala tears off half the cloth covering Damayanti and himself, and deserts her while she is still asleep. Nala is not in a mental state to think about what would happen to Damayanti in this wilderness once he leaves her. When Damayanti wakes up, she thinks that Nala was hiding somewhere due to inadequate clothes. It was difficult for her to imagine that Nala could have left her in such a helpless condition in the thick of the forest, when she had readily agreed to share the hardships of exile with him. But when the truth dawns on her, she roams around the forest like a mad woman, crying and wailing and calling out the name of Nala. By nightfall she comes across a carvan, whose master-merchant agrees to take her upto the city. But at night, a herd of wild elephants attacks the caravan and causes considerable harm to life and property. The merchants believe Damayanti to be the cause of their misfortune, and leave her in the wilderness. After many adventures she at last reaches the city of Chedi, but with her clothes all torn, her body bruised and hair dishevelled, she looks like a mad beggar-woman and children follow her pelting her with stones. The queen of Chedi happens to see her in this harassed condition from her balcony, and on observing her sweet manners and noble bearing takes her on as a companion for her daughter. Damayanti conceals her identity, and introduced herself as a merchant's daughter separated from the caravan. On hearing about Nala's exile, king Bhismaka, Damayanti's father, sends messages in all directions and manages to get Damayanti back from Chedi. Damayanti arranges a fake swayamvara in order to be reunited with Nala, and invites king Rtuparna from Ayodhya for the same. Damayanti knew that no one but Nala could cover the distance between Ayodhya and Vidarbha in one day. Nala was known for his skill in driving a chariot. In order to confirm whether the charioteer was really Nala his mastery in culinary art was also tested and ultimately when on seeing his children, Nala wept, the reunion of Nala and Damayanti took place. Though Damayanti had enacted this ruse of Swayamvara only in order to regain Nala, he could not refrain from asking her : 'How could you, forgetting your Nala, seek another husband?' This love demands sacrifice only from women. But in this life-drama filled with climax and anticlimax the fact that their love for each other remained intact, is the only silver lining of this otherwise tragic story.

9 5. Vasistha and Arundhati Arundhati is famous for her devotion to her husband. This was the reason why Swaha could not dare to disguise herself as Arundhati, whereas she took the from of all the other wives of the six sages turn by turn. Due to her total faith in her husband, Arundhati has acquired a permanent place of a small, bright star in the sky, and it is believed that if the marriage takes place when Vasistha and Arundhati are together in an auspicious constellation, married life becomes long and happy. It is also customary to gaze at the Arundhati star on the evening after marriage by the newly wedded pair. 6. Dilipa and Sudaksina The solar king Dilipa is considered to be the son of Ansuman and father of Bhagirath who became famous for bringing down Ganga-Bhagirathi from heaven to earth. But in Raghuvansa, Kalidasa describes him as the father of Raghu. He is depicted as an ideal king, and an ideal husband married to Sadaksina, the daughter of the King of Magadha. She is also equally virtuous but in their otherwise happy life, they miss only one thing. They don't have any children. On Vasistha's advice, they serve the divine cow Nandini for twenty-one days and on the twenty-second day, by the grace of the divine cow, they are gifted with a bright son, later called Raghu who becomes the sovereign king of the entire world. The life of Dilipa and Sudaksina provide a rare illustration of a happy married life. 7. Vasudeva and Devaki According to the conventions of marriage by capture, it was not necessary for the lover himself to capture the bride. His guardian could as well act on his behelf. King Sini is said to have captured Devaki and married her to his relative Vasudeva. A major period of the life of Vasudeva and Devaki was spent in jail. Even though Kamsa, brother of Devaki, knew that he was destined to die at the hands of the eighth child of Devaki, in order not to take any risk, he decided to kill all of Devaki's children as soon as they were born. And thus one after the other, six children were killed, and Vasudeva could not do anything about it. The embryo of the seventh child of Devaki was transferred to Rohini, another wife of Vasudeva, through which Balarama was born. But while this massacre took place, 19

10 Vasudeva was as helpless as Devaki. What can a woman do between a cruel brother and a helpless husband? Who is her savior? The eight child was born and could be exchanged with Yogamaya, the daughter of Nanda and Yasoda, only through Visnu's grace. Vasudeva himself acted only as an instrument Agastya and Lopatnudra The creation of Lopamudra is indeed amazing. In a manner of speaking, she was made-to-order. The sage Agastya, collected different beautiful limbs belonging to different animals, and out of them created a gril and filled her with life. She was stealthily introduced into the palace of the king of Vidarbha, where she was brought up as his daughter. When she came of age, Agastya married her. Because of the manner of her creation, was given her name, one in whom all the animals disappeared (Lopa), and in whom all their special characteristics were stamped and remained (mudra). When the sage Agastya proposed to Lopamudra, she asked him to come to her with sufficient wealth. First Agastya went to Srutarvana and then to many other places. Ultimately after defeating a demon called Ilvala, he obtained a large treasure and married Lopamudra. Thus the sage Agastya wanted beauty and Lopamudra wanted wealth. When both the expectations matched, their life became happy. There is no reference to their mutual respect or love. 9. Santanu and Ganga If some old person touched him, he would be transformed into a young person such was the power of king Santanu of Puru dynasty, who because of his potentiality of transferring (s'am) through his body (tanu) was called Santanu. He fell in love with Ganga who agreed to become his queen on the condition that he would not express resentment at any of her action, and if in case he objected, she was free to leave him. This is the one example of a highly respectable contract marriage mentioned in the Mahabharata. Ganga gave birth to seven sons, one after another, but as soon as one was born, she took the child to the river and drowned it. Santanu was terribly upset over this, but did not express disapproval fearing that she might leave him. But when Ganga proceeded towards the river with the eighth son, Santanu stopped her. Ganga now left her husband, leaving the son

11 Devabrata who later on become famous as Bhisma--the Bhismapitamaha of Mahabharata. Santanu seems to have enjoyed a full life with Ganga. Even while conceding that her action of throwing away the newly born baby into river and that too repeatedly must have caused considerable distress to Santanu, still after she left him, Santanu should have concentrated on the remaining child totally. For in order to save this child, he had run the risk of breaking the promise made to his wife as well as suffer the loss of Gange leaving him forever. Though he brought up Devabrata with great care, his passions were once again roused on seeing Satyavati. the daughter of a fisherman, who because she smelt of fish was also called Matsyagandha. In order to satisfy the improper demand made by Satyavati's father, he deprived his valourous, dutiful, bright and wise son of his rightful inheritance, as also made him take a vow of permanent bachelorhood. The only symbol of Ganga's memory was sacrificed at the altar of insatiable pleasures. What happened to Santanu's love for Ganga? 10. Arjuna and Subhadra Subhadra was the beloved daughter of Vasudeva and Devaki 21 and the sister of Krsna and Balarama. On seeing her beauty, Arjuna fell in love with her, and expressed his desire to marry her to his friend Krsna. But Krsna knew that his elder brother Balarama wanted Subhadra to marry Sisupala, and as Subhadra's mind was not known, it was risky to arrange a swayamvara. Therefore it was decided to abduct Subhadra and marry her through the raksasa form of marriage. This is how Arjuna married Subhadra. Subhadra became the proud mother of a valiant son, Abhimanyu. At the same time, cruel fate snatched him away at a very young age, since Abhimanyu could not come out of the chukravyuha in the Mahabharata war. Even Arjuna could not save him. The terrible death of Abhimanyu shattered Subhadra completely. After his demise, she lost all interest in life, and leaving everything behind, went off to stay with Krsna in Dwaraka for the rest of her life. 11. Dhrtarastra and Gandhari King Subala's daughter, Gandhari, was married to the Puru king, Dhrtarastra. Gandhari, married to blind king Dhrtarastra,

12 became the mother of hundred sons known as Kauravas and one daughter Duhsata. She was the witness of the violent destruction that took place in the Mahabharata war. In order to share Dhrtarastra's sufferings due to blindness, Gandhari also tied a piece of cloth over her eyes for the entire period of her life, and deprived herself of all the pleasures due to vision. This is an 'excellent' example of noble sacrifice made by the wife for the sake of her husband. 12. Gautama and Ahalya The sage Gautama, Indra's guru, married, Ahalya the beautiful daughter of the Puru king Mudgala. Indra got infatuated by Ahalya' s beauty. ( According to Hindu Dharmasastras, gurutalpagamana i.e. defiling the Guru's bed, is considered to be the great sin-mahapataka). Once when Gautama was away, Indra taking on the disguise of Gautama entered his house. Ahalya did not realise Indra's deceipt, and thinking Indra to be Gautama, she performed her wifely duties. On returning, Gautama went into a rage and cursed Ahalya, converting her into a stone. In this episode, Gautama was well 22 aware of Ahalya's innocence and Indra's treachery. Still, thoughtlessly he cursed her. It is the duty of the husband to protect his wife (Manu's dictum is that the husband protect the wife in youth `bharata raksati yauvane'). Instead of shouldering this resonsibility, he did not use his power to stop his student (Indra) from taking his (Gautam's) form. One can almost accuse Gautama of Ahalya's murder! When did she regain her life? When Rama in Treta Yuga, touched the stone, she regained her original form. The irony of the whole episode is that one husband curses an innocent wife, who in turn is saved by another person who himself has done grave injustice to his own wife. 13. Pandavas and Draupadi The sprightly, beautiful Draupadi was brought up with great care and affection by king Drupada. But adversity entered her life as soon as she became the wife of the Pandavas. Originally, Drupada's desire was to marry his daugter to Arjuna, but when he heard of the Laksagrha incident in which all the five Pandavas together with their mother Kunti were purported to have been burnt alive, he gave up the hope of Arjuna. In order to get an equally valiant son-in-law, he arranged the svayamvara

13 of Draupadi in which the suitor was expected to shoot a moving target constructed at a great height. His desire was fulfilled. Arjuna passed the test and won Draupadi as his wife. But accepting his mother Kunti's words, uttered in all innocence and without realising the consequences as her command, Draupadi was shared among all the five brothers. After having experienced terrible anxiety about who would win her in the swayamvara, when the moment of fulfilling her heartfelt desire of getting Arjuna as her husband came, as a result of Kunti's words, fate brought five husbands to Draupadi. It is difficult to imagine what mental strain Draupadi must have undergone at this mo ment. B ut accepting this sudd en and unimaginable adversity with great equanimity, this spirited woman adjusted with all of them. She was the symbol of great strength of mind and will, and the Mahabharata enumerates several occasions when the husbands lost all hope and were cowed down by suffering and wished for a peaceful life. even submitting to humiliating terms; Draupadi, steadfast in her determination of refusing to compromise with evil-doers, showed the path to resistance. No amount of suffering, not even exile, starvation, public derudation, and being kicked in an open court by an infatuated sadist could break her will. These five husbands could not come to her help even at the time of her public humiliation. Later in life, all her five sons were killed treacherously(?) by Asvatthama. Thus, at the fag end of her life too, justice was not done to her. At time of Swargarohana, the author of the epic made her the first victim. Why? Because though she treated all her husbands equally, she had a luking partiality for Arjuna. And why should it not have been so? Arjuna was, after all, the man who had won her in the swayamvara; others became her husbands, as it were, through an accident. Though no one cared to understand Draupadi's desire about the number of husbands she would want, at the time of marriage all the brothers treated her as a commodity. Yet in the ultimate analysis, none of them was considered guilty. But feeling this small partiality in a corner of her heart for Arjuna, became the reason for Draupadi to embrace death ahead of all of them! What greater irony could there be in life! Vali and Tara Even while conceding that the moral beliefs of Raksas and Vanars were different from those of the Aryans, still Tara's transference from Vali to Sugriva, then from Sugriva to Vali, and

14 24 again after Vali's death to Sugriva, appear ungraceful. Vali and Sugriva were two brothers born of the same mother, but of different fathers, Indra and Surya respectively. Vali, the older of the two, married Tara and Sugriva married Rumi. When Sugriva, mistakenly believing Vali for dead in an encounter with a Raksasa, ascended the throne of Kiskindha, Vali's harem passed on to Sugriva, and Tara, became his wife. But Vali was not really dead, and when he came back after defeating the Raksasas, he was enraged at the unseemly haste with which Sugriva had seized his throne and wives. Vali invited him to battle, defeated him, sent him into exile, and then got back his wife Tara, as well as Sugriva's wife, Rumi, and his other viwes. But when Rama entered into an alliance with Sugriva, he killed Vali, and Sugriva got back his own wife Rumi and all the wives of Vali, including his chief queen Tara. At this time, Vali's son, Angad's reaction is noteworthy. "One who appropriates the wife of his elder brother, who should be like a mother to him, and who already has a living son, should be hated by all beings". Between Vali who seized his younger brother Sugriva's wife, Rumi, and Sugriva who seized his elder brother Vali's wife, Tara, who practised adharma even the adikavi could not decide. But one interesting point to be noted in this context is that in this constant changes of wives which involved Tara's change of allegiance several times, Tara is not looked down upon by the Hindu society. On the contrary, she is held in the highest respect, and is even now venerated as one of the five paragons of feminine perfections the other four being Sita, Draupadi, Ahalya and Mandodari. 15. Ravana and Mandodari Mandodari was the virtuous, beautiful and devoted wife of Ravana. She is venerated by the Hindus as a saintly woman, mainly because of her constant advice to Ravana to return Sita to Rama. She was the daughter of the danava Maya, famous for constructing magnificent buildings. Ravana was brave and religious, but had a weakness for beautiful women. He was a ravisher of other people's wives and daughters, and Mandodari had to constantly warn him against the dangers of seizing unwilling women for pleasure, not that her good advice was ever paid heed to by her husband. Inspite of his inconstancy to her, she was ever devoted to him and obtained an important place among devoted wives. Her lamentation on the death of her husband is noteworthy : 'What did you find in Sita that you

15 risked your own life and the welfare of your subjects? There were women in your harem more beautiful than Sita, but impelled by fate, this woman seized your fancy! She is not my equal or superior in nobility of birth, beauty or accomplishment. Why then did you risk your life for her? I am the daughter of the king of Danavas, my husband was the powerful lord of Raksasas, and my son Indrajit was the conqueror of lndra, king of Gods. You yourself were undefeated in battle even by the Gods, Gandharvas and Yaksas. Then how was it that you were destroyed by Rama, a mere man? Only fate seems to have worked, from which there is no escape'. What Mandodari got out of her life with Ravana, who invited self-destruction by abducting a virtuous married woman like Sita, remains a riddle. 16. Pandu and Kunti Pritha, the daughter of Yadava Surasena and Marisa and sister of Vasudeva was adopted by king Kuntibhoja. Hence she was called Kunti. King Pandu had two wives, the elder being Kunti and the younger Madri. Unfortunately due to a curse, Pandu could not enjoy conjugal relations with either. But in order to fulfil his desire to have sons, Kunti was requested by 25 Pandu to utilise the boons granted to her by sage Durvasa, and avail of the services of Gods to obtain sons. In this highly intriguing moral situation, Pandu explains to Kunti the ancient matrimonial customs, and tells her that there is no violation of moral codes in having relations with another man for the sake of progeny. The words of Pandu on this occasion are worth noting : "I shall now tell thee, the practice of old, indicated by illustrous sages, fully acquainted with every rule of morality. W o me n i n t h e o l d e r d ays, we r e n o t i m m u r e d with i n t h e i r houses, nor were they dependent upon their husbands and male relatives. They went about freely enjoying themselves. They did not conffne themselves to their husbands, and yet they were not considered sinful, for that was the sanctioned custom of the age. This practice, sanctioned by precedent, is applauded by great Rishis. The custom is even now regarded with respect among northern Kurus. Indeed, that custom, so lenient to women, has the sanction of antiquity.' The present practice (of a woman being confined to one husband for life) has been established but lately. Thus Pandu made Knnti have relations with others to fulfil his desire of getting sons, which was otherwise not possible for him because of the curse. This circle of events looks more

16 26 pathetic, specially in the case of Kunti, given the context of her pre-marital life. Pritha (Kunti) was in charge of receiving the guests at her father's house, when the irascible sage Durvasa arrived there. But the sage was so pleased with her hospitality that he granted her a boon by which she could call any loving God by invoking a spell, and get her desires fulfilled through them. As soon as the sage went away, Pritha, out of curiosity, repeated the incantation and invited Surya, the sun-god. The bright God immediately appeared before her and wished to know what she wanted of him. Kunti had no particular mission, and had called him only out of innocent curiosity to test the efficacy of the boon. But the sun-god tried to make love to her. Even then Kunti pointed out, that as she was a maiden, she did not have any freedom. Surya's reply is significant : 'Neither your father, mother, or any other superior is empowered to give you away. It is because the virgin desires the company of every man that she is called Kanya, from the root 'Kam' to mean desire. Therefore, a virgin is free in this world. You shall not be guilty of any sin by complying with my request. And how can I, well-wisher of all creatures, desire an unrighteous act? That all men and women should be free in their sexual desire is the law of nature. The opposite is the perversion of natural law'. Even though this statement is basically correct, it does not appear to have been true of the society in which Pritha lived, and that is why she had to abandon her first born child later known as Karna, who became famous for his braverly and generostiyas soon as he was born. Thus, even though she was already a mother of a son before her marriage with Pandu, she had to cast off this son for the rest of her life. Paradoxically after marriage, in order to fulfil her husband's desire, though she became the mother of three sons through relations with three Gods, she could never tell Pandu about her pre-marital motherhood. She gave birth to new sons but could not get a respectable, honourable, and dignified status for her first son. She felt all the more shocked, when after having fulfilled her husband's desire and getting sons through others, her co-wife Madri lured Pandu in the maddening atmosphere of the forest, where as soon as Pandu touched Madri, the curse became effective, and Pandu dropped dead. Kunti felt greatly distressed at the way her husband died due to the irresistible attraction of co-wife Madri. More so because Kunti had generously transferred one of her boons to Madri, so that she two could become a mother. The boon was utilised by Madri in worshipping the twin-gods,

17 Asvinikumaras, and getting Nakula and Sahadeva as sons. Thus, when we analyse the heartrending and tragic life of Kunti, it is full of the ups and downs of real life living with a guilt-complex due to becoming a mother in maidenhood, not getting an honourable status due to her first son, then a long spell of life with a 'cursed' husband and impetuous co-wife, and life thereafter with her sons marked by various ascents and descents. 17. Atri and Anasuya The great sage Atri was one of the 'mind-born' sons of Brahma, and had for his wife Mahasati Anasyua, celebrated for her loyalty to her husband. Anasuya was the sister of Bhagawan Kapila and the daughter of sage Kardama and Devahuti. In Ramayana, while instructing Sita on her duties to the husband, Anasuya says : 'They who love their husbands, whether living in the city or in the woods, whether well or ill, attain great felicity. Wicked or immoral, the husband is the supreme deity to his wife. There is no greater friend than him, and the greatest virtue of a wife is ministering to his needs.' And Sita agrees : know a woman's spiritual guide is her husband. Even if the husband is poor, or of a disreputable 27 character, he should be ungrudgingly obeyed.' Atri, the lawgiver, states that in order to gain merit, a woman need not visit holy places. She could get the same by washing the feet of her husband and drinking that water. Even in modern times, many women follow this injunction of Atri. Further, he says, that a man shall not take food in the house of a barren woman, even if she is his own daughter. At the same time, he advocated that wo men who were abducted or forced d uring war and later reclaimed co uld be taken back after their menstruation or delivery. This statement of Atri proved to be of great help in getting the sanction of orthodox sections of society for taking back all the Hindu women who suffered during the widespread riots and rapes at the time of the partition of India in The story of birth of Dattatreya is worth mentioning in the context of Anasuya. Once sage Narada went to Parvati and told her that there was no one in the three worlds to equal Anasuya, the wife of Atri, in piety and virtue. Parvati, who had always thought herself as the paragon of virtue, was offended by Narada's words, and decided to teach Anasuya a lesson. Narada then went to Laksmi and Saraswati and aroused in them jealousy for Anasuya. All the three women asked their husbands Siva, Visnu and Brahma to tempt Anasuya, and

18 deprive her of her chastity. The three Gods decided to act jointly and taking the disguise of mend icant brahmins, went to Anasuya They went to Atri's hermitage and begged for alms. While Anasuya offered them a handful of grain, they asked for food. Ansuya asked them to take their bath and she prepared a meal for them. The brahmins came back from the river and asked Anasuya to strip herself naked and then serve them. Anasuya washed her husband's feet and sprinkled water over the brahims, who were now transformed into small babies. She then stripped herself, offered them her breast, and put them to sleep in a cradle. For a long time, when the husbands did not return, the three wives set out in search of them, and when they reached Atri's hermitage, they saw three bright children sleeping in a cradle. In order to test their devotedness, Anasuya asked them to pick up their husbands. First of all, Lakshmi made the mistake. She picked up Siva thinking him to be Visnu. Humilated and baffled, the Goddesses asked Anasuya to restore their husbands to their original state. But Anasuya stated that since for such a long time, she had looked after the babies, she had a claim over them The Gods agreed to remain with her as the offspring, in a combined form with three heads and six 28 hands. On getting this assurance, she washed her husband's feet, sprinkled it over the babies, and the goddesses got their husband's back. 18. Jamadagni and Renuka Renuka was the devoted wife of the sage Jamadagni. Due to the power of her loyalty to her husband, she could mould clay without water and bake it without fire. Hence she never carried a pitcher while fetching water but made the water-pot right on the bank of the river. But one day, whiled moulding clay, she saw a young man bathing in the river and her heart was attracted towards him. As a result, the clay could not be baked, and she had to return to the hermitage empty-handed. The omniscient Jamadagni could immediately discover what had gone wrong and ordered each of her sons to kill their mother as a punishment for her sin. The first four sons refused, but the youngest, Parasurama, chopped off her mother's head with his axe. The sage was highly pleased by this act of his obedient son. Parasurama now asked for the resurrection of his mother with no consciousness of having been killed. Devotion to husband was the life of the wife. That was her power. If ever she crossed her limit, the husband would

19 have no hesitation even in getting her killed and granting in addition a boon to the murderer of his wife. This was the culmination of conjugality! 19. Krsna and Rukmini Rukmini, considered to be an incarnation of Laksmi, was the daughter of king Bhismaka of Vidarbha, and the chief queen of Krsna. She was betrothed to Sisupala, king of Chedi and enemy of Krsna. But since from childhood she had loved Krsna, she sent him a message to carry her away. Accordingly, Krsna abducted her on the day of her wedding with the help of his elder brother, Balarama. This is an excellent example of love-marriage, with the woman taking an initiative. Though Rukmini became the chief queen among eight others, and became the mother of ten sons and one daughter, she did not get the undivided love of Krsna. The place of the beloved in Krsna's life was taken by Radha. Her eldest son Pradyumna was the incarnation of Kamadeva. Soon after his birth, he was thrown into the ocean by the demon Sambara, from where he was later saved. But Rukmini did not get the opportunity of bringing up her first 29 child. Between Radha, seven other q ueens, several gopis, and 16,100 other queens, Rukmini had to preserve her self-respect. Neither did she get single-minded love from her husband, nor was there any humiliation in her life due to marriage. In this p o l yg a mo u s a t mo sp h er e, s he s eems to h a ve d e ve loped a generosity of heart which is well illustrated by her treatment of Tulsi. Narada one day visited Satyabhama, one of the wives of Krsna. She expressed her desire to get Krsna as her husband in her future births, and asked for Narada's advice. Narada said that anything given in dana to a brahmin becomes manifold and is returned to the giver. Therefore, if Satyabhama gives away Krsna in dana to Narada, she would get him as her husband in future births also. Carried away by Narada's eloquence, Satyabhama did what he said. Narada asked Krsna to work as his page and asked him to carry his vina, and started proceeding towards the celestial regions. When the other queens came to know of this, they reviled Satyabhama for her presumption, and requested Narada to return their husband. Now Narada disclosed that it was a sin to receive anything in charity from a brahmin and demanded Krsna's weight in gold by way of return. All the wives piled up their ornaments in one

20 pan of the scale, but Krsna could not be balanced. Rukmini was not present in this crowd and when the message reached her, she came with a leaf of the Tulsi plant. She asked the ladies to remove their ornaments and placed the leaf in their place. Krsna was immediately balanced. Rukmini, with great magnamity of heart, declared that Tulsi was more beloved to Krsna then any of them. This Rukmini, a companion of the colourful life of Krsna, sitting in deep meditation entered the pyre along with other queens, at the death of Krsna. (Mausal Parva, M.B. 8.7). 20. Dusyanta and Sakuntala According to the original story of Sakuntala, obtained from Mahabharata and Padma-Purana, Dusyanta would find it difficult to escape the allegation of being an opportunist and exploiter of innocent women. When the pregnant Sakuntala appeared before him in his court, he disowned all knowledge of her, despite recognising her. In order to free him from this charge, Kalidasa in his play on Sakuntala, introduces the curse of Durvasa to work as a shield to save Dusyanta's reputation. 30 Even then, when this simple, innocent, guileless, forest girl dreaming to become chief queen, comes to the palace even if it be due to a curse the way she was insulted, the way allegations about craftiness in woman's nature were inflicted on her added insult to injury. The humiliation Sakuntala was made to feel, not unlike Sita, is unforgivable. Till her son Sarvadaman became seven years old, Sakuntala spent her life in loneliness, uncertainty and depression. The best time of life was spent in a meaningless way, and later on when the memory of Dusyanta revived, the reunion took place and everything ended well. But Sakuntala's best years could not return. 21. Laksmana and Urmila Sita went into exile with Rama and became immortal, but Janaka's real daughter Urmila, married to Laksmana, the younger brother of Rama, seems to have been forgotten both by the poet, and all of us. Being devoted to the elder brother, Laksmana left his young wife Urmila for fourteen years in the palace and her life spent in inner lonliness has become dim in everyone's memory. Placing duty before love, Laksmana provided an example of an ideal brother, but he ignored all expectations Urmila desired to fulfil from her life with him. Her

21 depression is the depression of lonliness. She spent those fourteen years like a female ascetic. While blessing the daughter `Be you to your husband, as Urmila was to her husband', one should not forget that the daughter is being blessed with fourteen years of separation from her husband. As can be seen from the above descriptions, most of the wives did not get undivided love from their husbands; many of them, instead of getting security from the relationship, became victims of their husbands' wrath'; most of them suffered all hardships with their husband's, and in addition received humiliation and lack of respect from them. The general understanding of the society seems to have been that sacrificing one's life for the sake of the husband was the wife's highest duty, and that her welfare consisted in doing only that. Feeling elated at the glory of their husbands, how these women considered their husbands as their protectors, even though they were totally indifferent to the injustice meted out to them, is indeed something inexplicable. The ostensible purpose of marriage rites is to achieve a unity of souls, and compatibility and complimentarity, but the implicit idea seems to have been to so merge the woman in the man such that she could not even imagine an individuality apart from her husband. She was so conditioned that life without a husband became meaningless for her. It is thus not surprising, that with making life a living hell for widows, the custom of Sati could also find easy social sanction. 31