Where do you spend your money? Your time? Your passions? On you? On them? For the Lord?

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1 (Eph. 6:1-4 & Hebrews 12:5-13) Ephesians 6:1-4 Parenting - How to Train Up Your Children so that they won't falter in the end. Paul Harvey told of a five-year-old who was in the back yard brushing her dog s teeth. When her father asked her what she was doing, she replied, Don t worry, Daddy, I ll put your tooth brush back--like I always have! Ah, the joys of being a parent! Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it. Prov. 22:6 Main Point: Our greatest concern about our children should be that they grow up to love God above all else! READ Ephesians 6:1-4: Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 Honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with a promise 3 so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. 4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. What are we supposed give our kids? Basics: Food, Shelter, Clothes, Education, a safe place to rest, to learn, to be loved, to be affirmed, to be believed in, to be encouraged, to be challenged, to learn to deal rightly with loss, discouragement, failure) ** but the MOST important thing you will ever give your children is your example (YOUR example how to love God above all else, even them. Your example how to live as Christ. How to forgive well. How to love unconditionally. How to confess sin quickly. How to apologize when you are wrong. How to pray, read the Bible, the importance and priority of Church community in your life. These are the intangibles that will reveal to your children IF you are truly a Believer OR not? A practical Atheist or A Hypocrite? REMEMBER: Your children are watching you. Its how God has designed them to learn & pattern after your life! Deuteronomy 4:9 "Only give heed to yourself and keep your soul diligently, so that you do not forget the things which your eyes have seen and they do not depart from your heart all the days of your life; but make them known to your sons and your grandsons. **A story goes that someone asked which translation of the Bible is the best. The answer was, my mother s translation. She lived it. Where do you spend your money? Your time? Your passions? On you? On them? For the Lord? *It is not the primary responsibility of the Church to train your child spiritually it is YOUR responsibility: (But we don t know how? WE don t know how to lead them to Christ, how to disciple them) Let s Turn to God s Word for wisdom on Parenting: First, Paul Gives Instruction for Children (of ALL ages): Vs. 1: Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Paul does not say obeying your parents is fun or easy or popular or at times because you even want to... you are to do it. Obedience is NOT Lip-service either... Matthew 21:28-31: 28 What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, Son, go and work today in the vineyard.

2 29 I will not, he answered, but later he changed his mind and went. 30 Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, I will, sir, but he did not go. 31 Which of the two did what his father wanted? The first, they answered. - Obedience is first learned with our parents. If you get this wrong, you will wreck your life But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people. 2 Timothy 3:1-5 Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. 29 They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; 31 they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. 32 Although they know God s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them. Romans 1:28-32 = This is what God thinks of those who disobey their parents: - If you get obedience right, it will be the foundation of your respect for authority and your understanding how to rightly relate to God, our society, our Government, and each other. Proverbs 1:8-9 Hear, my son, your father s instruction, and forsake not your mother s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck. Eph. 6: Vs. 2: Honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with a promise 3 so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. [a] What does it mean to honor your parents? - Show honor to whom honor is due Romans 13:7 - Listen to them, - Obey them - Forgive them - Bless them - Seek their wisdom - Speak well of them to others & in public Support them (provide for them: Mark 7:9-13. Jesus provided for His mother at His death on cross) If Lost parents, or carnal parents you may not feel respect/love toward them... But Honor yes! - We are to obey our parents as children, and as adults we are to honor them in their old age **Then Paul gives Instructions to Parents: 4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. It is noteworthy that Paul addresses parents through the Father. Why? Because dad s need a wake-up call? Are more hotheaded? Less Loving? Less Nurturing than moms? No, Because DAD s are the leaders in the home. (Single Moms = have to do twice the work:)

3 ***Dads set the spiritual temperature for the home. (For his own life, for the marriage, for the kids) 1 Timothy 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever - Fathers are to lead their children: Physically, emotionally, socially, & spiritually - Fathers lead their children through unconditional love, time, touch, truth, & intentionality - Fathers are to discipline their children. Corporal Discipline vs. Not? - We are called to discipline our children to bring correction, execute punishment, and work for restoration - Our children act out, disobey, neglect duties, rebel, choose poorly... so have we. If we do not discipline our children, we are not showing them true LOVE! God s love is consistent, it is Holy, it is demanding, & it requires something of us to reciprocate. As Tim Keller says, A child s respect for parents is the basis for every other kind of respect and every other kind of authority. As parents, we need to get this right. Why would your child ever respect of fear the Lord, if you do not teach this, show this, model this to your child consistently?? Proverbs 22:15 Folly (foolishness) is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him. Proverbs 13:24 He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently. Proverbs 23:13 Do not hold back discipline from the child, Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. In doing so you will deliver his soul from hell (the grave). Proverbs 29:17 Correct your son, and in the end he will give you comfort; He will also delight your soul Hebrews 12:5-13 My son, do not make light of the Lord s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, 6 because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son. Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? 8 If you are not disciplined and everyone undergoes discipline then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. 9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! 10 They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. 11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. 12 Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 13 Make level paths for your feet, [b] so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed. Hebrews 12:5-13 What Does God s Word Teach us as Parents concerning Discipline (spanking, exclusion, time-out, loss of X 1. - We are to discipline to affirm parental roles, the need for respect, and consequences of actions:

4 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge (Prov. 1:7). Proper respect for God is at the heart of a relationship to Him. Likewise, God has given parents authority over their children, and the children must learn to obey their parents (Eph. 6:1-3). Respect comes through loving discipline: We had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them (Heb. 12:9) We are Not to take their disobedience personally: Don t take their disobedience personally. They re sinners, disobeying God by disobeying their parents. God has put you in the middle to train them to learn to obey Him. But you ll mess up the process if you take their disobedience personally. If you over-react OR under-react!! They need calm spiritual correction We are Not to discipline in anger. WE need to have complete control of our emotions before we administer any type of discipline We are to discipline consistently & proportionately. We re exhorted to discipline our children diligently (Prov. 13:24). We tend to get lazy or it s a hassle to give correction and discipline, so we don t do it consistently. As a result, our kids don t know whether they re going to get away with murder one day or get nailed for some minor offense the next. Never threaten anything that is out of proportion to the offense. And never threaten anything you can t or don t plan to carry out. You shouldn t yell, unless it s for their safety or the only way to get their attention. But you do need to be firm and consistent. God carries out His word (Gal. 6:7); so should we We are to recognize the difference between immaturity (= correction) and defiance (= discipline) Because we are sinful people too, we can mess up and be overbearing and push our children away: Colossians 3:21 Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart. (exasperate = infuriate, antagonize, enrage lit. to make hard = to make a child s heart hard toward you!) - When we blow it, we are to apologize to our children. Explain what you did and that you are growing too We are to purposely restore the relationship after correction. Don t use the hand to discipline to spank or slap. Takes their dignity away! (use the hand to heal hug!!) VS. 4: 4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up [raise them up] in the training and instruction of the Lord. Training This is how we live (We get to show them, model for them, live-it out before them) Instruction This is why we live this way (We get to explain to them why) **What is the most important Truth that we are to LIVE out (Train) and Explain (Instruction)??? - We are to lead our children into genuine conversion to Christ as Savior and Lord a saving relationship - We are to help our children grow daily into godliness - to become more like Jesus (= discipleship 101) And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. ~ Deuteronomy 6:6-8

5 Hebrews 12:10 For they disciplined us for a little while as seemed good to them, but he does so for our benefit, that we may share his holiness. Our daily goal: that our children may be growing in love for God and for others as they grow in submission to the lordship of Christ. Word of Encouragement for PARENTS: APPLICATION: Parenting Principles: (A. The Bible is sufficient to guide us as parents; no book of 1 st Parentians. = we need to KNOW the whole Bible! B. But the community of the local church makes parenting bearable. PARENTING IS TOUGH BUSINESS!!! We NEED Each Other) 1) Parenting Begins with a heart to Love your child toward eternity. Everything we do should nurture their soul and future relationship with Jesus. 2) Parenting is established by your God-given role as their parent, fostering respect, and forsaking the need to be their friend. 3) One of our roles as parents is to help lead them to cultivate godly friendships (know/arrange who will influence them when you are not around) 4) TRAIN YOUR CHILDREN IN LIFE S RESPONSIBILITIES: Kids need certain skills to be able to function as adults. These include domestic duties, such as cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, basic sewing, and shopping. They need to learn proper hygiene and care of the body through nutrition, rest, exercise, etc. They should learn how to drive a car and basic car maintenance. How to talk to other adults, make conversation, how to interact appropriately with the opposite sex. They should learn to take care of and respect the possessions and property God has given to them, and to respect the property of others. They should learn a biblical perspective on being managers of the finances God entrusts to them. This includes earning money (how to get a job and be good workers), spending, giving, and budgeting. Before they move out of the home they need to learn about checking accounts, investing, and the dangers of debt and greed. They should have developed a biblical outlook on how to be resourceful and live simply. They also need to learn how to manage their time so as to be responsible in completing their duties at school, their chores, etc. They need to learn how to balance work and leisure time. 5) Teach your child to see themselves as God s wonderful creation, created in honor, with dignity, with purpose, with distinctive giftedness & exceptional personality, and unique in design (all shapes, colors, & sizes). Ps = Self-esteem is fleeting. But God s view of our life is infinitely more important than our view of our selves Or others view of us!!! 6) Remember, even though your children are your responsibility, they are not primarily yours. They are God s! You are a steward of their life! Psalms 127:3-5 Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. Arrows are meant to be released. Kids must be released!

6 7)Love, Grace, Firmness, Consistency, & Releaser (Steward) should be the defining words of your parenting: How is God described in the Bible? When He revealed Himself to Moses (Exod. 34:6-7), He proclaimed, The Lord, the Lord God, compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in loving-kindness and truth; who keeps loving-kindness for thousands, who forgives iniquity, transgression and sin; yet He will by no means leave the guilty unpunished, visiting the iniquity of fathers on the children and on the grandchildren to the third and fourth generations. There is a fine balance to God. He is loving and gracious, but He also punishes sin, sometimes severely! But toward His children, God s main mode of action is His tender love and abundant goodness: Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him (Ps. 103:13). Encouragement for Parents: Know that you have the world s greatest Father always ready to listen, always ready to help you and always willing to guide you. Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7 Remember on days when you are discouraged with your children... when you are exhausted, when it doesn t seem that they are getting it... when they disobey, rebel, and tell you they hate you That God never gave up on you, Did He? You are here today because God loved you through your worst and even as an enemy of God, while we were still sinners...jesus died for us. God has not forsaken us we are not to give up or forsake our role as parents! ***PRAY For your children!!!!!!!! Pray for your own self your own example your own strength to finish well the high calling of being a parent!