Working with Emotions A Transcribed Teaching Given by Mingyur Rinpoche in March, 2004

Transcription

1 Working with Emotions A Transcribed Teaching Given by Mingyur Rinpoche in March, 2004 This morning there is going to be a discussion about dealing with the emotions. There are two types of emotions: negative and positive. The negative emotions we have to abandon and the virtuous or positive emotions we need to cultivate. If one practices the virtuous actions then there is a benefit from that for a beginner. How do we reject some of these emotions and how do we adopt the other ones? How do we actually go about doing that? Generally speaking, how do the emotions arise? They come about because of grasping. If one is very tightly bounded by the grasping, then negative emotions arise from that. If one lessens one's grasping and tightness with the emotions, then through the lessening of the grasping one can have some wisdom arising from that. Less grasping connected with knowledge becomes positive emotion. Strong grasping connected with emotion becomes negative emotion. Positive and negative emotions both are based on grasping. First we will be explaining how to deal with the negative emotions. We need to achieve some balance in the mind. If one attains a state of balance within one's mind then negative emotions can't harm one. Where do the negative emotions normally come from, how do they arise? It's because one is too tight. Having too tight state in the mind, the negative emotions arise from that. What is the technique or method to liberate oneself from this tightness? - First one needs wisdom or intelligence. If one has some intelligence regarding the emotions then one sees that being too tight is without meaning and that the negative emotions arise from tightness. One has to understand in an intelligent way that there is no meaning to the negative emotions. Now I'm going to give you an example. There is a person with great attachment to their face. They are too tight. The person thinks: "I have a very beautiful face, I am handsome." The person is looking in a mirror everyday. "The picture looks even better than me." Having too tight grasping for the beauty of one's face, eventually one will see a fault in it. Even there is no fault in there one will perceive a fault. If there is a tiny fault or blemish, on becomes sad. "My mouth is too big, oh dear " Further on one looks every day again and again in the mirror: "Oh dear..." So then you try to chance the face, the way you look. But it's not really much of use to try to do that. Then you think: whatever it is, it's wrong, it's not very good. "What shall I do?" Every day you look in the mirror and see the mistake. You are uglier every day. After one month you think you are really ugly. Finally one sees the fault which doesn't really exist being a big fault. Then you start to think: "Maybe other people are seeing this fault. Then you think: "Oh, that person is looking at my fault! My crooked nose. Yes, he is really looking at me." Then you get quite embarrassed and you are unable to speak. Your speech gets interrupted, you are coughing and blushing. After some time one is not able to go outside in the

2 public. Even though nobody is looking at your nose at all you think they are. From time to time one may think: "Actually, are they really looking me or not? Maybe it's my wrong perception." Then you have to examine or test it. In the end you get wrong information. Having tested it, it is still wrong information and you think: "They are really looking at me, I'm certain of that." So, on top of that you get more grasping, more tightness. There is no meaning in that. You are actually fine, there is nothing wrong. That's the beginning of all different types of negative emotions. Carrying on that way they become bigger and bigger. Based on that, one feels loneliness, embarrassment, fear, and also depression. All these negative emotions will arise from that. But if you look at it really, there is no need for that, it's just made by one's own mind. So you need to understand that. That's called intelligence. That intelligence liberates you. Misunderstanding in the first place - not knowing that the emotions and misperceptions come from one's own mind - one starts to think erroneously that they come or rely on external objects, so you think: "That person is good, that person is bad, this is not nice, and this is nice." All this comes from one's own mind and because one doesn't recognise that one puts the emphasis on external objects, thinking that they rely on them. If you look at it from another point of view, when somebody says that a crooked nose is very good, that means that you are handsome and fortunate. So if you have a great trust in somebody who says you have a crooked nose and that's very nice, you will have happiness. Also you will like that person. If you have that kind of information from many friends, doctor or whoever, you will trust them. "If I have crooked nose, it's very good." Then if you see in a mirror: "Oh, I don't have a crooked nose. Yes, I need to have a crooked nose. What shall I do? Every day maybe push it like this!" Not to have a crooked nose is very sad, maybe you need to go to hospital and have plastic surgery. "Please put plastic in here, make a crooked nose." Then you look in the mirror: "Fantastic, handsome!" Then you walk and think: "I have a nice face, they are looking at me, and I'm very beautiful." There is another side, you know. The main point is that one's mind makes all of this. One needs to understand that, to have that intelligence. If one understands that, it's like releasing a knot. One is relieved from that. These days a lot of things like that arise. These days we call the time of the five degenerations. There is lots of fighting and arguments and these are based on this kind of misunderstanding. But if you look at it really, there is no meaning to any of that. But misunderstanding one thing for another, you have the idea: "This person is bad" and so on. Many negative things can arise from that misunderstanding. So then apart from one's own idea, one's own perception, you can't see anybody else's, only one's own. So then all the time we make our own kind of box where we put ourselves in. Whatever comes into the box is good, whatever doesn't fit, what is left outside, is no good. Then one's mind becomes smaller and smaller. Now I am going to give you another example. There is a person who likes to eat chilies a 2 D e a l i n g w i t h E m o t i o n s Y o n g e y M i n g y u r R i n p o c h e

3 lot. The person thinks: "If I eat chilies I'll be very happy, they are very tasty." He is certain of it and goes off to another person, who doesn't like chilies. So he thinks: "That person is not that good. He doesn't like chilies." In your mind you have a thought like that. As I said before, you make a little box for yourself and everything that fits inside is good. If it doesn't fit inside your box, it's not good. In this case you are thinking: "Chilies are very good," that's kind of making your box. If that person was to like chilies he would fit inside the box you've made. If the other person thinks the chilies are not good and they make them ill, you will think: "What's wrong with them?" And you think: "Well, they don't fit in my box, they are bad." Based on that, one makes oneself separate from others. "I'm good, they are bad. I'm clever, I've got lots of qualities, and they are stupid." One divides oneself up like this and then arguments. Difficulties arisen from that. World War one and two, these arose from that kind of small thing, in the beginning. "That person is taller than me, I don't like them. That person is smaller than me, I don't like them." I don't like. What ever it is you don't like, you talk a lot about it. "That person talks a lot, I don't like him. He speaks more than I do. That guy has no qualities, he is no good. He speaks less than me." But really, everybody is the same, aren't they. Everybody is the same because everybody wants to experience happiness and nobody wants to experience suffering. So we are all like one family. Everybody possesses the Buddha nature. The Buddha nature is something very pure, clean and wonderful, and we all possess that. When we say "Buddha nature", it sounds like a very fancy name, but if you can call it sentient beings' nature, it's the identical meaning. So, everybody's essence is actually very good. This is human intelligence and that's a very good thing. The essence of everybody is very pure. So we are all the same, how can you say we are all the same, because everybody wishes to experience happiness and everybody wants to be free of the suffering. We don't have to make any boundaries or differences between people. Because we misunderstand that point then we make boundaries between people. Because of these self-made boundaries between people the destructive emotions, negative emotions, all of these arise from that. That was just a general sharing of information. In brief you can say that whatever suffering one has it normally starts from a very small beginning. Something very small in the first stage. Having grasping for that it becomes more and more. That's also same for what we call positive emotions. They start very small in the beginning and they get greater and greater. It's said in the texts that whatever habit one has, it becomes easier and easier, even it feels difficult in the beginning. It becomes easier through the habit. All our emotions arise based on habit. So then, if we have a bad habit and we have a strong clinging to that, strong tightness with that, it gets worse, stronger and stronger. If you have a good habit, there will be a good result from that. How many negative emotions are there then? We call them the six poisons. Based on the six poisons you can have fear arising and depression and also a feeling of disgust and sadness. These are all called negative emotions. How do these arise? As was explained 3 D e a l i n g w i t h E m o t i o n s Y o n g e y M i n g y u r R i n p o c h e

4 before one becomes very tight with the grasping and then one makes a big difference between oneself and others. Based on that all the negative emotions arise. So I'm going to explain to you how they arise. First we have anger. First of all one has oneself and then other and one thinks: "I'm good and that person is not so important. I'm very important." That's a boundary between you two. It's quite strong boundary and based on that comes anger. "That person caused harm to me." That's anger. "I try to beat, kill or fight them. I say various things to make his head spin." What is the object of the anger, actually? The object is something that is not pleasing to the mind. We call it a bad object but who makes the bad object? The bad object is only made in one's own mind. Even if you call it a bad object, it's still made from one's own mind. That was the anger, and now we have the pride: "This person has got absolutely no qualities at all. He is just nothing. I'm much better than them, I've got more qualities than him, I've got more money, I'm more famous, I can meditate better than him. That person is not so good meditator. I'm the best one. I've got very good experience, I think no-one else has experience like that." The pride comes about by thinking that the object is much less than you. Thinking that the person (the object) has no qualities is made by your own mind. Who knows whether they've got qualities or not. One is not able to 100% find out or perceive that. That person has also got the Buddha nature. That person also wants to have the happiness and be free from suffering, exactly the same as oneself. The third one is desire. It is based on a pleasing (good) object. "Oh, that's really good, it's nice. I need that. I want to get that object. I desire it." So then, without any control one runs after it. One runs after the object of desire. If you get a very strong desire, you are not able to eat your meal. At night you can't sleep. "I need this, I need that." And if it gets worse and worse you will become crazy. So that's called the good or pleasing object. If you ask: "What is a pleasing object then?" - Your mind makes it. The fourth one is jealousy. It arises by thinking that the object is equal to oneself. "Me and that person, we are the same, but maybe eventually this person is better than me. That's no good. We are the same, but everybody likes him and not me. How can I do something to him? What can I do to prevent that person from getting better than me? To obstruct him from getting better than me I need to do something. What kind of method can I use? Perhaps I can use a peaceful method." You speak to one person against the other. "He says that you are not good." You tell other people that, like a gossip. With divisive speech you try to break up two people and the two people who were friendly become separate because of your divisive speech. Then you think the power of the person you are jealous of becomes less and less. "They are getting less than me now, good." If you can't get any result using the peaceful way, then you have to use a wrathful method. Then you actually argue with them, fight with them. But there is not much benefit in that. You get the harm in the end. If you use divisive speech, in the final you will get a bad result coming from that. So there is no meaning in that because 4 D e a l i n g w i t h E m o t i o n s Y o n g e y M i n g y u r R i n p o c h e

5 one doesn't benefit from that. Actually one's enemies will increase. The first object (the person) will not like you and then the second person you try to use your divisive speech on, they also won't like you. So you got two enemies now. Then we have stinginess. If you don't know what stinginess really mean I'm going to give you more explanation! If you were to go to town for example, and you met one person begging. "Give me money," if you have a bad mind you think: "That person is trying to get me to waste my money." If you have a good mind, you think: "Maybe I give some." You look inside your pocket and take out something. It's a fifty pound note. "This is too much!" You put it back in your pocket. Again you find something. A twenty pound note. That's also too much. You put it back. Again you take something out. A ten pound note. That's a little bit too much. Eventually you get a pound coin. Okay. You give the beggar the pound coin. Having given that pound you go off home. At home you think: "I gave a pound. That's not really very small. It's a lot; I could have bought some toothpaste with that pound. I could have bought some tissue paper. Now I can't. That's not very good. I've wasted my pound." That s stinginess. If one gets a habit of that again and again, one can't even eat one's food. You just eat small amount of food. You don't wear good clothes, even though you've got money. Even if you have got millions and billions you won't spend it. Even if you gave one pound you get a very stingy feeling about that. You are not able to buy a good car. You can't actually utilise your wealth. When you die, you can use it then! Even if you were in actuality a rich person, if you've got a lot of stinginess, you can't get a lot of benefit from that because you can't use it. The sixth one is the ignorance. Ignorance is actually the root of all the other ones, the previous five. It is the root of all of them, because one doesn't really understand the object on which one's negative emotion is based. Because one doesn't understand the natural state of all the phenomena, all the different objects, one gives arise to the negative emotions through that ignorance. If you really understand the natural state of the phenomena and the objects, then you don't give arise to the negative emotions. The ignorance is like the basis or root, from which all the other negative emotions arise from. Based on these six negative emotions or six mind poisons, all of the fear, depression, loneliness, all these things come up from that. If one doesn't accomplish one's wishes or one's desires, one has loneliness and dissatisfaction from that. So then, if your enemies are able to cause harm to you, you give rise to fear. If one is really under the power of these six conflicting emotions or the disturbing negative emotions, mind poisons, under the power of those six emotions, one is not able to achieve peace of mind. In the absence of those six it's quite difficult to experience loneliness and fear. It won't happen, it won't come. Sadness, suffering, loneliness and fear won't come. The reason that these things arise in the first place is base on these six mind poisons. How is it that the six poisons arise? They come about through misunderstanding. What is it that we misunderstand? One is, that oneself is tight and also thinking that oneself is here and somebody else is there; self and other, 5 D e a l i n g w i t h E m o t i o n s Y o n g e y M i n g y u r R i n p o c h e

6 and then making a boundary between them. And also thinking that happiness and suffering are based on external objects. One doesn't achieve one's wishes because one thinks that the happiness and suffering are based on external objects. If one doesn't get what one wants, in the end you think that the external object is bad, that's the fault. So, one thinks mainly of the external objects. If one has the intelligence - what I'm talking about now is related to the first level of intelligence - the main thing is the mind. However, you think the external object can be the cause. It helps, but it's not the main reason. There is an example going back to nose. You need a nose first, don't you? That's the cause. Based on having a nose, the condition or the cause, one can have two experiences, positive or negative. If you think that a bent nose is bad, you have a bad experience. If you think that a bent nose is good, then you have a good experience. What are these based on? They are based on the nose itself. But whether the bent nose is going to give you happiness or sadness is nothing definite. You can't say definitely. What does it depend on, then? Definitely it depends on ones mind. Therefore the main thing is the mind. But the nose helps with that. If you don't have a nose, those two perceptions won't come, because you don't have a basis for the perceptions to arise, there is no nose. That's for the first level of intelligence, it's like a basis, but if one gets deeper into it the basis is lost. That liberates the mind poisons. If you want to explain that, it's the view of emptiness. That's an advanced level of intelligence. Based on that, the Buddha has taught the two truths: the relative truth and the ultimate truth. If you understand the state of the relative truth, one is able to pacify many of the mind poisons; one is able to pacify lots of suffering. For example, if you have a wrong perception regarding your nose, what is the relative truth of that? Actually your nose is fine all the time. You have the misperception of your nose being big, bent, this way and that way. That's the relative illusion. Relatively it's not like that. Relatively speaking I don't have any horns on my head. That's an illusion. Illusion means the relative aspect. There are two types of relative truth, the relative of the relative and the ultimate of the relative. Within this relative we also have a relative to a relative. There are many like that. Even if the nose is not bent we think it is. We perceive it like that. Understanding the intelligence level getting more and more advanced and clear, understanding the emptiness, even the basis, the nose doesn't exist. At that point, the advanced stage, all of one's negative emotions, all of one's defilements are completely purified. The subject covered this morning mainly is the intelligence. Based on that, do you have any questions? Translator: The lady says she wants to make a comment. As explained in the teaching the root of negativity, negative emotions is ignorance, and having practised for quite sometime she has come to realise something which wasn't mentioned in the teachings 6 D e a l i n g w i t h E m o t i o n s Y o n g e y M i n g y u r R i n p o c h e

7 that this kind of ignorance can start when we are children and also lot of outside things contribute to its arising. Rinpoche: Ignorance is present in the children but it is also explained in the teachings that even before you are child, in the previous lifetime, from beginningless lifetimes we have had ignorance. So it's always there. It's not been said that at the time of being a child one doesn't have ignorance. It's implied that one has always had it. During the previous lifetime one has had ignorance. Some therapies relate a lot with the childhood but in the Buddhist way you think: "Well, where does the child come from?" Childs habits come from the previous lifetime. So then, even though the parents of the child might be very nice and kind, the child itself might have bad habits and these come from a previous lifetime. Maybe the child is very sensitive. Due to this sensitivity the child perceives a small fault but makes it very big. The other case is that the parents may be extremely bad and the child him- or herself is actually very nice, very pleasant child. Can have like that. What's the reason for this? The habits come from previous lifetimes. So then the fault can't harm one. Question: As was explained, intelligence is the remedy for the mind poisons, the negative emotions, but when one is actually in a situation having some trouble with the person, then at that point it's quite difficult to remember or have an idea of the intelligence. So at that time when there is a trouble happening or some conflict, how important is it to have compassion? Rinpoche: It depends on one's habit. First of all one has to understand about the intelligence having small problems, and after ones habit becomes more strong with the intelligence one uses it with the situation and of course one can generate compassion during that time as well. One starts with a small thing like whether one's nose is crooked or not. If one has this kind of fault in one's nose and one has confidence and habit that it is good, even in the future someone says to you: "Having a bent nose is no good," you won't trust them, because you have the habit yourself. So it depends on one's habit. It's like the strength of one's practice. Question: In the west a lot of us have self-hatred, guilt, and looking the Tibetans, they don't seem to have that problem. Where do the self-hatred and guilt come from, what's the root of this? Rinpoche: You can have two reasons for that. One is that in Tibetan culture Buddha has taught that everyone has identical buddha-essence, one has these qualities, that is one reason. It is very common for people to feel that. Because of that knowledge - everyone has a common knowledge and appreciates one's own essence and feels that I've got a lot of qualities, I'm a very good person without being proud. The second reason could be the society. In the western society there are a lot of things to think about, isn't there? Crazy monkey. Yes, no, yes, no. In Tibetan culture they don't really have this idea: I'm bad, I'm good. They don t have that coming up. If you tell them that, they don't 7 D e a l i n g w i t h E m o t i o n s Y o n g e y M i n g y u r R i n p o c h e

8 understand. "I'm useless, I don't have enough courage " They say: "What are you talking about??" They will think you are quite like a strange person if you say that. Question: What does Rinpoche rate our chances of accomplishing the meditation and realising all this? Rinpoche: You've got more chance, actually. If you have mind poisons, negative emotions burning like a fire, from that you get even more blazing of the wisdom, because of interdependence. Question: What is the benefit of going on pilgrimage to holy places where yogis and yoginis have meditated? There aren't many places like that in our part of the world. Rinpoche: If you go, it's very good. You can think: "This is a holy place." Like a pure land. Samye Ling has received blessings of many lamas. Dharma teachings have been happening here and many lamas have visited and so on. Many things have come together in this one place. That's where holy places come from. We don't have a holy place from nothing. It has to come about from these various things coming together. So you can make your own home a holy place. Make a nice shrine. Very simple, but very pleasing to look at. Put the representations of the body, speech and mind of the Buddha there. If you think about that in a very nice way, that's a holy place. Question: What about outside? Rinpoche: All the men are dakas, all the women are dakinis, the environment is holy pureland, that's the best holy place. Question: If one is lucky not to have strong mind poisons but the others are angry towards you, expressing their mind poisons towards you, what do you do about that? Rinpoche: You can take it. You do the tonglen, sending and taking. If you think: "Oh, that person is harming me, I'm going to get worse and worse, then it will become bad for you. If you take it, it's beneficial for you. Then you are using the imagination of a white light going out to the other person, giving all your virtue, all your goodness to that person and in a smoky grey light from them you absorb all their negativity, all their anger all the dreadful things, you take that in, exchange, sending and taking. Then the other person's negativity is beneficial for you. If I use an example, you are going along a very dangerous path and there are lots of enemies there, thieves and brigands. Even if one has got many protectors and guards with you, the enemy can still harm you. Sometimes they fight you, you fight them back. It would be quite difficult, wouldn't it? However, if you were transform all those enemies into friends, who is going to harm you? You transform them into friends, so they are only able to help you and there is no such thing as an enemy. It's like that. Translator: The lady experienced last year that a thief stole a lot of her stuff. She is thinking whether to approach it in a way of making an offering of that as a kind of act of generosity or should she get a police involved. 8 D e a l i n g w i t h E m o t i o n s Y o n g e y M i n g y u r R i n p o c h e

9 Rinpoche: It's okay to get the police involved, because if that thief continuously steals in the end for that person it's not very good, and also all the other people he/she is going to continue stealing from, it's not good for them either. He/she is continually creating more and more negativity for himself or herself. If you are not able to recover the things which have been stolen from you, then you just let go and do the sending and taking. One practices with the light thinking loving-kindness and compassion for the thief. All the things that were lost you can offer them like a mandala. Question: Relating back to some of the stories in the previous days there are different types of faith, for example the dogs tooth and the old lady having as it's described blind faith thinking that it is pure when it's actually not, so how can it be that having this kind of blind faith or faith without real intelligence, how can that transform external objects? How does that come about? So, could Rinpoche talk little bit about blind faith. Rinpoche: There are two things. As it was said in the other day, first of all when you have faith in a lama you have to examine that lama and see if he possesses all of the qualities and various things that a genuine lama should possess. He needs a lineage and an ability to have benefit for the others. He needs to have pure commitments. One needs to examine that and test that. Who is it that we should have faith towards? If the person has the pure lineage, pure commitments, pure activity, these type of persons, we need to have the faith for them. First we have to establish that, and then one really has to have faith in that. So don't look to any kind of lama just going here and there. First one has to examine the lama. And if one thinks that the lama is good, then as much as one is able to have faith and devotion to that lama, that's good. At least the lama needs to have the right appearance, qualities. But if the lama is not a bodhisattva of the first to the tenth level, if he is not like that, then there is not any difference. If he has got the right characteristics of a lama, if he in at the 1 st or 8 th bodhisattva level, is no difference, it's all the same. The blessing depends on one's faith, depends on oneself then. So that's not blind faith. Having that thinking all the reasons why one should have faith for a person, if one doesn't think about them and without reason has faith, that's what you are talking about. That's related to the relative. If you look at it from the ultimate point of view - at the moment we are involved with the relative, aren't we? On one side we have to rely on this relative truth. On the other side we have to rely on being free of that relative. These two are the wisdom and skilful means together. If we go on this path, eventually the relative is completely liberated from that. Giving arise to the faith for the lama one has to rely on the relative. If we rely on the relative, if the lama gives us a wrong teaching, then we can go on to a wrong path in fact. So that's not good. For that reason one has to look very well and examine very well in the first instant. That's a necessity and that's connected with the relative. If you look at it from the ultimate point of view, Mao Tse-tung caused a lot of harm to 9 D e a l i n g w i t h E m o t i o n s Y o n g e y M i n g y u r R i n p o c h e

10 Tibetans but one doesn't need to have any connection with Mao Tse-tung oneself, one doesn't have to receive any teachings from him. So you don't have a relative connection with him, you don't need one. From ultimate point of view, if you think Mao Tse-tung is Buddha, that's fine. Why? Mao Tse-tung's essence is the buddhanature, isn't it? He is the same as the Buddha. So there is a reason for that. What is the reason for the nature of Mao Tse-tung to be that of the Buddha? - He possesses the buddhanature. If you think like that, you will get a blessing from that. So then one relies on the relative path and the ultimate path together. Going back to the story of the old mother and the tooth, she didn't take dharmateachings from the tooth. So she did not break any commitment of samaya with the tooth. The dog's tooth is not a false lama. That dog's toot is not able to give any false teachings. The dog's tooth is not able to have any broken commitment. So, one doesn t have any relative connection with that dog's tooth. The old lady looked it from the ultimate standpoint but she perceived it as a pure thing. So there is benefit from that. The nature of the dogs toot is to be emptiness, isn't it? The emptiness is the dharmakaya. The emptiness and the dharmakaya are identical. Based on that, blessing was obtained. That's not an example of blind faith. Question: If the old lady's object of faith was an impure lama, what would happen? Rinpoche: That would be very bad. The lama and the student both would go down to the lower realms. There is an example. In Tibet there are yaks. Another yak-like animal is called dzo. They are both very strong. When they fight their horns get interlocked and pulling each other eventually they both fall down. Question: But still the essence of the bad lama is emptiness. Rinpoche: If there was a bad lama but one had a very high realisation from the ultimate point of view, and one wasn't staying very close to him, not depending on the lama and wouldn't need teaching from the lama, you were not connected with that lama but you attained high realisation, you can think that lama is Buddha and you can get blessing. Because of that we can say it's one taste, the inseparability of the samsara and nirvana. How can one say that? - The essence of samsara is nirvana, isn't it? All the faults and mistakes, the essence of that is not truly existent. The true essence of that is nirvana. It's important that one goes together with the relative and the ultimate. The reason for that is that right now we are involved very much with the relative. If one goes beyond the relative, then one doesn't have to rely on the relative. Question: The given fact that all possess the buddhanature, we are all identical on that level, how do the different various vacations come from. For example some people have very much skill on one area, other people don't, they all have different manifestations of work, how does this come about, relating to the fact that we have all got the identical buddhanature? Rinpoche: That comes around from the interdependence. Where does the 10 D e a l i n g w i t h E m o t i o n s Y o n g e y M i n g y u r R i n p o c h e

11 interdependence come from? That comes from ignorance. Your essence has the five qualities. If one doesn't recognise those five qualities they transform into the five poisons and based on that comes the five elements and the five skandhas and the five different types of path. And also the different types of people. So you have vajra-family people. The vajra-family people have a lot of anger. They are quite stable but they have got anger. The ratna-family, they need to do a lot of activity and they need to get a lot of things, and they have got pride. Like that there are forms or families of people. A lot of different types of people come from that. Some people have connection with one type of family people, some with two or three. So, if you recognize them, they can be transformed into the five wisdoms. Five bodies. Five wisdoms, five bodies, all the qualities of a Buddha can arise from that recognition. Question: Would Rinpoche say a little bit of impartiality and is it okay to have a little bit discernment in day to day life? Rinpoche: Yes, it is beneficial. When we find ourselves in the relative world we have to have that in order to survive in that environment. So we need to have discernment and this has two tasks. Oneself on has to survive for the lifetime in that environment and the secondly one has to realise the nature of all phenomena, the dharmata. That is also discernment. Question: Concerning fear, does Rinpoche think we should approach in a very peaceful way and observe it or should one engage in it rather like going into a scary situation and seeing what happens then with the fear? Rinpoche: You can do both. First of all if you can train with small fear, that's good. You can deal easily with a small fear, you start with that. Then if you can train and get a habit of that, then you can get better later. If you arrive in a very fearful spot, you will be able to do that very easily, straight away, start off with a small fear. Here is an example. One has a baby, same family or type as the grown up person. The small baby can't fight the grown up person, but they are both people, aren't they? When the baby gets bigger he can thumb the big person. It's like that. We call this babywisdom. If you use that, it's beneficial. At this level we can only fight another baby. When we grow up we can fight the grown ups, too. However, if something frightening happens, you don't need to be afraid. If one experiences fear coming up, one can transform it to the path. At that point your baby-wisdom will be beneficial for one or two seconds. Then again the fear arises and then again you look. Five or ten seconds later the fear will come up. So if you do this again and again repeatedly, that's the best medicine; the baby-wisdom will get bigger and bigger. It's like exercising in the babywisdom. It's like if you feed the baby good food it grows up very quickly, doesn't it. If you don't exercise it, it doesn't get food, it will be very weak. The best food is a challenge. Question: What are the benefits of a bardo retreat? 11 D e a l i n g w i t h E m o t i o n s Y o n g e y M i n g y u r R i n p o c h e

12 Rinpoche: It's very beneficial. It's for a very lazy person. Easy to get enlightened. You won't be enlightened in this body. When you die, in a bardo after that there are three bardos. The bardo of death, the bardo of dharmata and the bardo of possibility. The next life will come from the bardo of possibility. In each of these three bardos it is possible to reach buddhahood. It's very quick. First recognize, secondly get stability, thirdly liberation. You may become a buddha or a high level of bodhisattva. It is very easy, because you don't have a coarse body, you have a subtle body. Based on the recognition of having a subtle body one can achieve a swift liberation. Then one doesn't have any gross illusions, only very subtle illusions. Sönam deji tam-che zig-pa nyi tob-ne nye-pei dra nam pam che ne tse ga na chi palab drupa ji sipe cho-le dro va drol-var sho. Due to this good karma, may I achieve omniscience, Defeat the harmful enemies within me, And free beings from the sea of existence That is churned by the waves of birth, ageing, sickness and death. 12 D e a l i n g w i t h E m o t i o n s Y o n g e y M i n g y u r R i n p o c h e

13 Session 2 What we are talking about is how to deal with the positive and negative emotions. At the moment we are discussing how to deal with the negative emotions. As was discussed this morning, the negative emotions, that was covering the first stage of wisdom. It was said that the main cause of the arising of mind poisons or negative emotions was grasping or tightness, being tight with oneself. You can also call that ignorance. Ignorance is the source or the cause of all of the mind poisons. If you ask: where is the beginning of the ignorance, there is no beginning. So, it's beginningless. If the ignorance has no beginning and through that ignorance we experience the cyclic samsaric rebirth again and again, how do we get the remedy for that? - The remedy for ignorance is based on wisdom, (skt. prajna, tib. sherab ). In Tibetan there are two words: rig and ma-rig. Rig means wisdom and marik means no wisdom. So there is a big difference between these two. When one is learning about the first stage of wisdom, the explanation has to do with how the main thing is the mind. So if one realises that the main thing is the mind, one derives benefit from that. What's the reason for that? It's because oneself holds oneself tight. Having the thought: "I can't practice, I can't do anything, I'm no good," one can't even practice, because one feels everything relies on external one, but then, what actually happens is one makes oneself tight, so there is no benefit from that. Then one thinks in one's mind: "Practising has no benefit," because one thinks that the happiness and the suffering rely on external objects. One thinks 100% it's lying on outside objects. Because of that one has the tightness. Then you have the thought: I can't train things, I can't transform things. But if you have the opposite of that and think that the main thing is the mind, it's like opening the door. Then one sees that one can transform anything, one can change anything. That's like the first stage of wisdom, opening the door. Now we are going to go into the second stage. Within the second stage there are two aspects. One is the five mind poisons: jealousy, pride, anger, stinginess and the ignorance and the other side is to do with suffering like fear, depression or sadness. These are the two aspects. So I'm going to explain to you how to practice using the suffering. What can happen is generally in our mind we have this situation where we can have lack of confidence and fear. So, suffering comes from that. What we need to do is to get a method to remove or pacify that. Why we need to get a remedy is because we have suffering from these, so we need to remove them. For example if one has the suffering of depression and fear and so on arising and accompanying that one has the thought: "This fear is not good for me, suffering is bad for me, I don't want to have this depression;" this thought of not wanting these things and pushing them away actually gives strength for them and makes them worse, makes them grow. So, like for example with the nose which is slightly crooked, if you think that's a very bad 13 D e a l i n g w i t h E m o t i o n s Y o n g e y M i n g y u r R i n p o c h e

14 thing to have - the thought of not wanting to have that thing makes the fear worse in one's own mind. If you have the opposite to that regarding the defect of the nose, if one doesn't have much hope connected with that thinking that I have a hope to get rid of it, if one doesn't have any fear about it: "Well whether it's there or not, it doesn't matter," then whatever suffering arises from that it will be lessened quite a lot, it will be hardly there at all. The first cause we have to remove is the idea which comes up with the suffering thinking that suffering is something I don't want to have, I don't want to experience this, it has to be got rid of. That's the first thought we need to address. If you can pacify that then everything else will become easy. If we really have the courage and confidence in our minds, whatever manifest we can control and transform that whatever it is. There are two reasons why worrying about suffering and thinking it's not good for oneself, is not beneficial. The first is that there is no benefit in worrying and secondly one can make many problems from that. Out of the two I will explain the first one. There is no benefit in suffering and suffering is not necessary. If one has problems and suffering and one doesn't wish to have them, at the time one is experiencing suffering and problems one has to think about it very well and see if one can have remedy for the problems and suffering or not. Is there anything I can do or not? If there is something you can do, a remedy exists, if you can make it better, you don't have to worry about it, do you? You know the method. So then, if one has the remedy and a way of getting out from the problems and suffering, what is the point of sitting there and thinking: "Oh, I'm suffering; there is nothing I can do!" One knows the remedy, so there is no point in worrying anymore because everything is going to work out okay, isn't it? If one doesn't have a remedy or methods to get rid of the problem and suffering, if one continues to suffer from that, there is no benefit either. What is going to happen, will happen, I don't have a remedy for that, so what's the point of worrying? If it was beneficial for the suffering to worry about it, if crying about it would make the situation better, then to cry would be okay. Cry as much as you want. You could pull out your hair. Pull as much as you want, but it doesn't make any benefit to it, because you have not found a remedy to address this problem. I shall use an example of a stock market. A stock market from time to time goes down and down. If you worry about that and cry: "Oh, my stocks, all gone," one keeps crying and pulling out one's hair and if one breaks the crockery and cups, it won't make the stock go up even one pound. If by pulling your hair out, crying, smashing of the crockery and chocking things out of the window would make the stock market go up one pound that would be really good. If you were to do that, that would be great! You should do as much you could. But it doesn't have any benefit, does it? So there is no benefit to worry at that point. There are two points. One is the explanation of being no benefit, because if you have got a remedy to an easy situation, you don't need to worry about it. If one has got a 14 D e a l i n g w i t h E m o t i o n s Y o n g e y M i n g y u r R i n p o c h e

15 remedy, what's the point of worrying? The second point is of making things worse. For example there are two people. One of the people is very tight fisted and always thinking about one's own benefit. One has got a very spacious open mind. They've got a diamond like Queen of England's crown jewel, maybe better than that, rubies, emeralds and all kinds of different jewels. And they've got very got very good stocks on the stock market. So they are both very happy and good together. One day their various jewels which are much better than the Queen of England's jewels, by the way, one day a thief came and took the whole lot. Then the stocks on the market were all crashing down, they came to zero. So they had nothing. How is the guy who was very tight in his mind? "Oh my god, I've got nothing left, and he pulled out his hair and started crying. Maybe he could not eat his food. He could not speak to anybody. He was able to do nothing. He just sat there. He thought: "There is no meaning to the whole world, nothing is meaningful anymore." It's like the sky and earth were turned upside down. Then also he thought finally, that he might commit suicide. And that he might go crazy. It became a very difficult situation for him. He might as well be locked up in a lunatics' asylum. And the other guy? He knew how things really were, the state of things, and he also had a very open spacious mind. How was he? "Oh, everything is finished! That's impermanence. It comes and goes. Well, no benefit to worry then. Whatever was going to happen it has already happened, so there is no remedy for it. Possessions are in ruin now. It's okay. Maybe I'm more released than before. Before I had to think about the stock markets a lot. Down and down, I don t need to do that anymore." He is able to eat well and sleep fine. He didn't go crazy, didn't kill himself, and he didn't have to go to hospital. He had a new idea: "I'm going to start another work, another business. The old one was impermanent, it's gone. Everything is impermanent, so I can start something else. Then he will start another business. He thinks: "Whatever I want, I can do it." He has got confidence and courage. The guy who had tightness, he made things worse. So, that was the second reason: making things worse. Now I will tell you a story about Malaysia. There was a Chinese business man. He was doing business in the stock market about four years. I think he had about 40 million dollars. Then one day he lost everything, but his house. Normally he comes to the dharma centre. All of his relatives came along trying to cheer him up. The guy said: "It's no problem, it's all gone, don't worry." His mother was crying and worrying a lot. So he was trying to make his mother to feel better. It really happened. There are two main topics here explained. First one is having the thought that suffering is not desired or one doesn't want it, it's bad. Above is the method of pacifying it. So the first topic is finished. The following is an explanation of the second one: how to appreciate it when suffering and problems arise. Generally speaking, if we have suffering and negative emotions, different types of things going on in the mind and problems, that's a very good situation first to have and to be friends with. It's a good opportunity. Without the conflicting emotions or the mind 15 D e a l i n g w i t h E m o t i o n s Y o n g e y M i n g y u r R i n p o c h e

16 poisons the wisdom can't blaze. We talk about the six realms of samsaric existence. The god and demigod realms, they are separate from us. It is said that a human body is better than a god body. The reason for that is that the god body, they don't experience very coarse negative emotions. They don't have a cause of suffering. So they are not able to achieve buddhahood in one lifetime, but we have that, don't we? Based on the experiencing of gross suffering we can achieve buddhahood in one lifetime. Based on those two: gross emotions and gross suffering we can do that. Generally speaking then, suffering is a good thing. Some people like to go rock climbing. When you do rock climbing fear comes up, doesn't it? With rock climbing comes fear, but then you get a great courage from that, and people go climbing to show off. Using the example of the person who goes rock climbing, going up climbing you can face your fear, so you get a great opportunity to go beyond the fear. Likewise with us, if suffering and emotions arise, we have a very good opportunity to come face to face with them. In Tibet the Lamas go off searching for the suffering and problems. I'm going to tell you a story. There was a great lama in Tibet called Patrul Rinpoche. In Tibet at that time most of the practitioners had heard that Patrul Rinpoche was very well known and very famous. From time to time Patrul Rinpoche would take off his normal clothes and put on very dirty bad clothes and go wandering off in disguise. Patrul Rinpoche was the composer of Kunzang Lame Shellung, The Words of My Perfect Teacher. That text or book got permeated all over Tibet, everybody knew it. His place is called Sachuka, and from there he went to Nangchen one day. He was wearing very rough clothes with tears in them and very shabby looking. In the capital of Nangchen there was a monastery called Sechu gompa, a very big monastery. Behind that monastery up on the hills there were many monks and nuns in retreat. Lots of caves and small retreat huts. Nobody was expecting Patrul Rinpoche to come to Nangchen, they thought some old scruffy chap had come. Because he didn't have any place to sleep he went at the steps of the monastery and lied down to sleep at night. He sat up in the morning, put his hand out and started to beg. He didn't have even shoes. Anyway, Patrul Rinpoche went circumambulating the monastery and nobody knew he was there. But up on the hills there was one old meditator, he came down to the monastery. So he looked at Patrul Rinpoche but he didn't know who he was, just like a scruffy old man. He said: "You scruffy old man, you haven't even got any shoes, where you come from?" He said: "I've come from Sachuka." "Where are you going now?" "Nothing certain, I'm not sure." "Have you got anything to eat or drink? Come to my place, I've got something to eat and drink there, come with me." So they went together. Then the old meditator from up on the hills said to Patrul Rinpoche in his disguise: "You've got nothing to eat and drink, but if you stay with me, I'm just here one person alone, you can cook my food and clean up the dust and make everything nice, and I give you some food. So that's benefit for me and benefit for you. And if you've got any interest I will give you some nice dharma teaching." Patrul Rinpoche replied to him: "Oh, 16 D e a l i n g w i t h E m o t i o n s Y o n g e y M i n g y u r R i n p o c h e