The Untamable Tongue (James 3:1-12, ESV)

Transcription

1 INTRO: The Untamable Tongue (James 3:1-12, ESV) We are in week three of a sermon series through the Book of James called, This Changes Everything. Today we re going to talk about how Jesus wants to change our tongue, i.e. the way we speak to one another and perhaps, in some situations, the language we use. Almost on cue, Cincinnati Reds manger, Bryan Price (picture), gave me some great sermon fodder. On Monday, in front of ten media members, Coach Price went on a five- and- a- half minute tirade where he used one well- known curse word 77x (that s once every four seconds) and added up ten other colorful words just for good measure. I decided against sharing the audio. You and I may not be able relate to the extreme of Coach Price, but we all know what it s like to say something we wished we hadn t. Or we know what it s like to be hurt by someone else s careless words. James is going to point out that even the slightest slip of the tongue can cause devastating effects in our own lives and relationships. TEXT: 1 Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. 2 For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. 3 If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. 4 Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. 7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. 11 Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? 12 Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water (James 3:1-12, ESV). 1

2 The idea here is that our language reveals our allegiance. We recognize this with schools and sports teams. If you re of the University of Kentucky you speak one way about the Cats and another way about Duke. That s why ESPN can run a special called I Hate Christian Laettner and millions of people will tune in to watch. Our words indicate our loyalties and our loyalties shape our identity. James says when we praise God with our tongues one moment but then curse others who are created in God s image the next, we demonstrate a sort of identity crisis. Our speech doesn t match who we purport to be. 1 ü 1 John 4 gets to the heart of the matter. It says 19 We love because he first loved us. 20 If anyone says, I love God, and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. 21 And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother (1 John 4:19-21, ESV). ü The Bible says if you don t love the people standing in front of you or sitting beside you or living across the street or working across the office whom you can see, it s difficult, if not impossible, to love God whom you cannot see. The corollary is that if you love God, you will love people. That s why Jesus said the first and greatest command was to love God with everything you ve got. And that the second commandment was equally important love your neighbor as yourself. And yet James observes, 9 With it [our tongue] we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so (James 3:9-10, ESV). TRANSITION: If a person can't go 24 hours without drinking coffee, you'd say they were addicted to caffeine. If they couldn t go 24 hours without smoking, you d say they were addicted to nicotine. If you can't go 24 hours without saying unkind words, 24 hours without gossiping, 24 hours without tearing someone down then you re addicted to poor speech. You've lost control of your 1 James 3 challenges me because it claims that when a teacher who professes certain truths lives or speaks in a contradictory manner they set themselves up for judgment. Jesus got upset with the religious leaders of the day for this. 1 Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples, 2 The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses seat, 3 so do and observe whatever they tell you, but not the works they do. For they preach, but do not practice (Matthew 23:1-3, ESV). 2

3 tongue. And it s not just hurting those around you, James says it s damaging your relationship with God. Thankfully, the Bible gives us some instruction about what God honoring speech looks like. APPLICATION: 29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear (Ephesians 4:29, ESV). In this verse, Paul gives us four pieces of advice for God- honoring speech. ü Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths corrupting talk is anything that damages another person or takes away their innocence You ll never amount to anything. You re ugly. You re stupid. No one will ever love you specifically it corrupts the other person s faith You are a mistake. God doesn t love you. He could never love you. Paul says, Don t let that stuff come out of your mouth. ü But only such as is good for building up We want our words to strengthen and encourage the people around us rather than tear them down. That doesn t mean you have to avoid hard subjects. Or that you can never address poor performance. But it does mean that even when you have difficult conversations you approach those conversations with as much grace as possible so that even after a hard conversation both people leave in a better place then where they started. Make it a point to be an encourager. When s the last time you wrote a note to your spouse just to build them up? Or to one of your kid s teachers? Or coach? Or you told you kids all the good things they do? Or you stopped a co- worker in the hall to tell them how much you appreciate them? You have no idea how far a few words of encouragement can go. ü As fits the occasion some conversation are appropriate for certain contexts but not others. We recognize this when children are in the room. But the same thing can be true with adults. There are some conversations among family that aren t appropriate with strangers. Or some conversations that are appropriate in the office, but not outside of the office because they deal with sensitive information. Some conversations are appropriate to have in person but not over the phone and definitely not over 3

4 or social media. A wise person not only chooses the right words they deliver them in the right way. Make sure what you say is fitting for the situation at hand. ü That it may give grace to those who hear this last thought challenges us to consider not only the individual or group we re talking to and how they ll receive what we say but also to consider anyone who may overhear what we say or catch it through the grapevine. Again, if you think about it, this should make us think twice about how we use social media. You may intend for what you say to go to one particular audience, but when you put it on the Internet it can be accessed by anyone, anywhere, anytime, and it lives forever. So be wise about what you say. You can think about wise communication as a matrix. I ve shared this before. Wisdom requires that our language be both honoring to God and beneficial to others. Anything less, in the Bible s eye, is foolishness. Honoring'to'God' Words honor God when they befit His character when what you say to another would be appropriate if said in the presence of Jesus. Words honor others when they have the other person s best interest at heart. When they help someone grow. That doesn t mean you can t offer criticism, but make sure it s constructive. But it was Ralph Waldo Emerson who said, Criticism should be a southern breeze, not an east wind. 2 When you have something hard to say, remember the person you re talking to is someone loved by God and created in His image, just like you, and they re in need of grace, just like you. TRANSITION: Harmful' to'others' Foolish% Foolish% Dishonoring'to'God' Beneficial' to'others' This is important because even though the tongue may be small it s powerful. James says it will direct the course of your life, for good or ill. It can stain your reputation. It can poison your relationships. It can end careers. It can and even has torn families apart. Wise% Foolish% 2 "Criticism," said Ralph Waldo Emerson, "should not be querulous and wasting, all knife and root- puller, but guiding, instructive, inspiring- - a south wind, not an east wind." See Bits & Pieces, Leadership, Vol. 2, no. 1. Accessed 4

5 STORY: In the award- winning film The Joy Luck Club, one little girl has the capacity, in her own words, "to see the secrets of a chessboard." This gift enables her to become a national chess champion by age eight. It all sounds wonderful except that she has a driven, overbearing driven parent who is using her daughter's gifts to fulfill her own selfish ambitions. At one point, the girl dares to speak back to her mother. The mom first responds with icy, silent treatment (which some of us know that when you don t say something that s actually saying something and it can hurt just as much as words) but then says, "You are nothing. You are nothing at all." Here is the daughter s response, in her own words What she said to me was like a curse. This power I had, this belief in what I'd been given, I could actually feel it draining away. I could feel myself becoming so ordinary. And all the secrets that I once saw I couldn't see any more. All I could see were my mistakes and my weaknesses, and the best part of me disappeared. 3 APPLICATION: Our tongues have the power to make the best parts of others disappear. Some have called it the power to destroy. Many of us know this because we ve been hurt by someone else s words or we have hurt others. But the good news is our tongues also have the power to heal. 1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Proverbs 15:1, ESV). If in tense moments, you will die to the need to make yourself look good or to be right and will instead offer a gentle response, you can diffuse a situation quickly. 4 A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit (Proverbs 15:4, ESV). If you regularly feel the need to criticize your spouse or justify yourself to your boss or always get in one last dig, it might be helpful for you to step back and ask, Why? Why do I feel the need always get the last word? Why do I feel the need to point out every flaw? Why do I always feel the need to make sexual innuendos and dirty jokes? 3 Illustration taken from Pastor Dan Meyer s sermon Words and Wisdom: Secrets to the Significant Life (part 4) delivered at Christ Church of Oak Brook, Oak Brook, Illinois. Accessed 5

6 We need to examine why we say what we say. Proverbs tells us, 4 The words of a man s mouth are deep waters (Proverbs 18:4a, ESV). What comes out of your mouth reflects things that are going on deep within your heart. If you re having a hard time controlling your tongue it means you don t have a good handle on what s happening deep inside your soul. And in order to get a handle on both our speech and our selves we need to find time for silence. 4 Silence doesn t simply teach us to control our tongues it creates space for God to reveal those broken places within that cause us to lash out at others. 5 Missionary Jim Elliot once wrote, I think the devil has made it his business to monopolize on three elements: noises, hurry, crowds Satan is quite aware of the power of silence. 6 In 2013, the Wall Street Journal quoted Nelson Mandela, If 27 years in prison have done anything to us, it was to use the silence of solitude to make us understand how precious words are and how real speech is in its impact on the way people live and die. 7 And yet often we think our words are just words, i.e. something that we can let loose in one situation but keep controlled in another. Maybe you ve heard of the business started by two German entrepreneurs, called "Schimpf- los" ("swear away"). For $2 per minute you can vent your frustration to a paid operator. You can yell, scream, and curse all you want in hopes that you won t later do the same at home (some of you are probably writing the name down as we speak does Schimpf have one f or two). 8 But just letting off some steam isn t enough. If it were we d go on a brief rant and get on with our day, all the better for it. But experience tells us that James is right. The tongue has a mind of its own. It s uncontrollable like a flame. And if you give a small spark some air (or gasoline) it doesn t get snuffed out it becomes a wild fire. 4 See Dallas Willard, The Spirit of the Disciplines (San Francisco: HarperCollins, 1988) Also, Donald S. Whitney, Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life (Colorado Springs: NavPress, 1991) (esp ). 5 Dallas Willard refers to silence and solitude as the most radical of the disciplines for life in the spirit (101). Reason #1, you carve out time and space to listen/hear God as Elijah did in 1 Kings 19. Reason #2, control of the tongue promotes a Christ- like control of the whole body. 6 Jim Elliot as quoted in Whitney, 196. Original found in John Blanchard, More Gathered Gold (1986). 7 Nelson Mandela, In His Words, Wall Street Journal ( ). 8 Ralf Schulte, one of the creators, contends that his service is doing people a favor. "If you're stressed at work," he argues, "you go home and your partner gets an earful. Even though it's not her fault." Instead, Schulte says, "[Anger] happens. It's natural. With us you can blow off steam no strings attached. For getting everything off your chest, [our service] is a bargain." From Chris Cottrell, "Germans blow off steam with swearing hotline," Reuters ( ). Accessed 6

7 TRANSITION: James 3 isn t just about you not hurting others with your words, it s about identifying and healing the hurts you have because it s hurt people who hurt people. CONCLUSION: When James says God wants to tame your tongue, it s not that God just wants to deal with you as a disciplinarian; God wants to direct you to the grace of Jesus. And of all the things that amaze us about Jesus, perhaps what should amaze us the most is that he controlled his tongue to the very end. Consider the account of his crucifixion. 32 Two others, who were criminals, were led away to be put to death with him. 33 And when they came to the place that is called The Skull, there they crucified him, and the criminals, one on his right and one on his left. 34 And Jesus said, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. And they cast lots to divide his garments. 35 And the people stood by, watching, but the rulers scoffed at him, saying, He saved others; let him save himself, if he is the Christ of God, his Chosen One! 36 The soldiers also mocked him, coming up and offering him sour wine 37 and saying, If you are the King of the Jews, save yourself! (Luke 23:32-37, ESV). When insulted, Jesus kept silent. It s safe to say Christ could not have completed his mission if he hadn t first controlled his tongue. In a moment when everyone was heaping criticism upon him and speaking hateful, unfair words against him, Jesus had to be tempted to justify himself, to call down curses upon them. But instead he held his tongue. And even when he did speak, he spoke words of grace. And if Jesus spoke words of grace to those who crucified him, he has words of grace for you today. Let his words direct your words. Let his grace set the course of your life, not your anger or your bitterness, not your need to be right or appear strong. You don t have to appear strong. In fact to come to Jesus all you have to do is admit you re not strong. Acknowledge that you need his grace. If you ve been hurt by others, you need to understand that while yes, words can hurt; Jesus can heal. In fact, the only thing more powerful than the tongue is grace. Invitation 7

8 Bits & Pieces, Leadership, Vol. 2, no. 1. Resources Cottrell, Chris, "Germans blow off steam with swearing hotline," Reuters ( ). Davids, Peter H., The Epistle of James, New International Greek Testament Commentary (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans 1982). Johnson, Luke Timothy, The Letter of James, Anchor Bible (New Haven: Doubleday, 1995) 37A. Kenworthy, Scott, # Verbal Wisdom (Proverbs ). Mandela, Nelson, In His Words, Wall Street Journal ( ). Meyer, Dan, Words and Wisdom: Secrets to the Significant Life (part 4), delivered at Christ Church of Oak Brook, Oak Brook, Illinois. Whitney, Donald S., Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life (Colorado Springs: NavPress, 1991). Willard, Dallas, The Spirit of the Disciplines (San Francisco: HarperCollins, 1988). 8