Notes from 12 Steps to a Compassionate Life, Karen Armstrong, 2010

Transcription

1 Notes from 12 Steps to a Compassionate Life, Karen Armstrong, 2010 Preface Wish for a Better World Winning 2007 TED prize for ideas worth spreading, Armstrong used her $100K prize to wish for a better world in which all peoples can live together in mutual respect; yet religion/morality, which should be making a major contribution, is seen as part of the problem. Compassion: All faiths insist that compassion is the true test of spirituality, that brings us into relation with the transcendence we call God, Brahman, Nirvana, Dao. That the Golden Rule do unto to others, etc., is expounded in all religions as ethical, spiritual religious traditions, grounded in compassion, rather than revenge and justice. Yet, religion is the cause of all major wars in history; with its subsets of greed, envy, ambition, fear. Buddha s Immeasurables: Exercise: Recall for yourself Friendship Compassion Joy Even mindedness strive for equanimity Step 4 exercise: call your attention to 3 persons you know (1) one whom you have no strong feelings one way or the other; (2) somebody you like, friend or family member, and (3) a person you dislike. Generosity i.e., loving kindness; maitri Courage i.e., compassion, karuna Humor i.e., joy, mudita Humility i.e., we all have faults; strive for equanimity among us all; even-mindedness; upkesha A Global Morality Chart: Chinese: Western: Eastern: Confucius, LaoTzu Isaiah, Ezekeil, Ezra, Socrates Aeschylus Hindu/Buddha, Upanishads Shu Consideration Mindfulness Dao (Li) Way *Zhong Selfless behavior; St. Paul s Nirvana; Atman, Enlightenment Family relations hierarchy be self-effacing Blowing out; emptying, Karena Serenity Love all things equally Jian Ai; Mother Theresa A peaceful state of mind *When people are treated with reverence; they become conscious of their own sacred worth.

2 Interdependence is essential in human relationships. It is a path to enlightenment; to a just economy, to a peaceful global community. We are bound together more closely than before through electronic media. Global interrelatedness is a domino effect when: stocks plummet due to a political event in Gaza that affects London, New York and Tokyo markets; Environmental catastrophes like global warming affect weather patterns, crops, shipping ports, island communities. First Step - Learn About Compassion The Reptilian Mind: 4 F s: Feeding, Fight or Flight, F / (Procreating) versus developing the brain to rest, be calm, composed, cool, patient, collected; Atman says it takes 12 years for a yogi to apprentice and free self from the EGO. Mental exercise (study, meditate) Discipline lifestyle diet, yoga Intense dialectal discussion kindly gently German Philosopher Karl Jaspar s AXIAL AGE circa 500 BC Religious revolutions that proved pivotal to spiritual development of humanity. Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism = INDIA Confucius & Dao (Lao tzu) = CHINA Monotheism. Judaism = MIDDLE EAST Second Step Look at Your Own World History references Confucius, Socrates, Greek Mythology (myth means closed eyes or mouth) set social standards of inter relationships. Eastern Spiritual geniuses: Buddha, Confucius, Mohammed shared ideology Western Spiritualists are scarce; strong in scientific pursuit but not as contemplative. Heroic potential is universal (Buddha, Jesus, Muhammed, and Gandhi); who go on self-sacrificing journeys out of love for the suffering others Exercise: Look at your own world 1. Start with Family from irritant tensions to pride and joy rectifying black sheep events 2. Workplace geared for efficiency, not compassion

3 3. Our nation a) What do we love most? b) How do we treat immigrants? c) How does rich verse poor? d) Are we fear driven? e) How do we educate our young about correct history? about Japanese internment? about Hiroshima? about Palestine & Israel? about Viet Nam and about radical religion? 4. Choose an area: arts, music, politics, business, and medicine; to become a force for good. Third Step - Compassion for Yourself Love Your Neighbor as Yourself how do you love yourself? You must come first, in order that you can then give to others; Golden Rule requires self-knowledge; knowing your strengths and weaknesses, in order that you can relate to others. Western society is target driven, capitalistic, self-berating for not meeting expectations, afflicted with eating disorders when other countries have starvation; wealth vs poverty; our strengths vs others weaknesses colonialism attitudes persist inferiority may lie at the root of our current political problems. Gold Rule requires self-knowledge. We use our own feelings as a guide to our behavior with others. If we treat them harshly, this is how we treat ourselves. Remember the people you have helped and things you have done that nobody notices, your successes at home and at work; without denying your faults. We should smile wryly but gently at our failings the same way we tease a friend. A sense of humor is important. Taking responsibility for our misdeeds is essential to realize that the rage, fear, hatred greed that make us behave badly derive from the reptilian brain we inherited. Jealousy anger, contempt only lead to selfhatred. We should quietly but firmly refuse to identify with them this is not me...not who I really am. Learn to distance ourselves from them by practicing mindfulness (5 th step) Character traits are the result of circumstances beyond our control. We did not choose our parents, their inherited genes, the upbringing and education we received, the economic circumstances of society into which we were born. Environmental factors affect our personalities but they do not make us incapable of compassion. So other people also did not choose their circumstances, parentage or genetic makeup either. Jungian psychologists speak of the shadow mechanism that enable us to disguise our conscious waking selves that influence our thoughts and behavior and sometimes surface in dreams. We need to take ownership of this nether region of the psyche so that we are not over whelmed to discover that we are cruel and have strange sexual fantasies or consumed by violent retaliation. If we accept our shadow side we are likely to accept others who fail to come to terms with their own proclivities we are all people who can be evil and disgusting. We often attack other people for precisely those qualities we most dislike in ourselves. Middle Ages Christians attacked Jews as child slayers for blood of Christ unleavened bread reasons. Crusaders slaughtered Muslims claiming Islam a violent

4 religion of the sword; mingled fear, resentment, envy about Christians own identity onto a Muslim for Islam was the shadow self a confuse image of everything Crusaders believed they were not; but they were Suffering is the law of life. It is essential to acknowledge our own pain or we shall find it impossible to have compassion for the distress of others. In Buddhism, it is impossible to liberate others from their grief if we do not admit our own unhappiness and misery. In the West we are encouraged to think positively, brace up, look on the bright side of life, all important to encourage the positive, but it is crucial to allow ourselves to mourn. The ancient Greeks had no problem shedding tears; they believe that weeping tougher created a bond between human beings. Shakespeare s s day considered it normal for men to weep. Today there is a degree of heartlessness in our determined good cheer because we leave people feeling isolated in their sorrow and their distress. Not discussing one s fear of cancer probably because people are frightened by the disease and find it an uncomfortable reminder of our own mortality. Contemplate the suffering we see on a global scale; we will be embarrassed by the triviality of our own, but it is real to us nonetheless. Exercise: make a conscious effort to look back on the events that have caused our distress in the past: death of a beloved person; moments of loneliness and fear; rejections, betrayals, failures, unkind remark(s) that hurt you. Make a deliberate effort to inhabit those moments fully and send a message of encourage and sympathy to your former self. The object of this exercise is not to wallow in self-pity but the vivid memory of painful times past is reservoir which you can draw from when trying to live your life to the Golden Rule. Remembering your sorrow will make it possible to feel empathy with others. When we hear of someone s success our first reaction is often jealousy or resentment. We waste an inordinate amount of energy worrying about our own image and status, constantly alert to anything that might threaten our standing and self-esteem. We identify closely with our opinions that we become disproportionately upset if we lose an argument. We are anxious to see ourselves in a good light that we find it difficult to apologize and open emphasize that other person was also at fault. The result of all the self-preoccupation is that we only make ourselves suffer and also cause pain to other people. Even the most charmed lives people will face death, sickness, debilitating and humiliating old age. We know nothing lasts; that in a single day, we can be momentarily down by myriad of disappointments, rejections, frustrations and failures. Making ourselves aware of these small discomforts and their reality is an essential step toward enlightenment and compassion. We pursue things and people even though we know in our hearts that they cannot make us happy. For all our thoughts of image, status, self-preoccupation is that we only suffer and better to accept calmly the fact that the cause is our old reptilian brain. (4 Fs!) rather than Buddha s great immeasurables: positive emotions of friendship, compassion, joy, even mindedness when your mind is filed with love, send it in one direction, than a 2 nd, 3 rd, 4 th etc. above and below identify with everything without hatred, resentment, anger or enmity the mind of love is very wide. It grows immeasurable and eventually is able to embrace the whole world. By constantly activating these positive psychological states, Buddha became free of the constrictions of hostility and fear; his own mind expanded with the immeasurable power of love. Practice Buddha s meditation on 4 immeasurable minds of love: friendship, compassion, joy, even mindedness. No need to sit in yogic position to meditate; in your regular routine walking the dog, exercising, driving the car, gazing out of the window of a commuter train; cultivate a discipline that helps take greater control of our minds and channel our destructive impulses creatively. Focus on yourself: Exercise: Focus on yourself 1. Draw on the warmth of friendship (maitri) that you know in your mind and direct it to yourself. Notice how it already brings you much peace, happiness, benevolence you already have. Become aware of how much you need and long for loving friendship. 2. Become conscious of your anger, fear, anxiety; the seeds of rage within yourself; your past suffering. You re longing to be free of this pain so gently put aside your current irritations, frustrations, and worries and feel compassion for you conflicted struggling self. 3. Bring your capacity for joy (mudita) to the surface and take conscious pleasure in things we all tend to take for granted: good health, family, friends, work, and life s tiny pleasures.

5 4. Finally, look at yourself with non-attachment-even mindedness; you are not unique, you have failings, and so does everybody else. You have talents and like everyone else on the planet, you deserve compassion, joy, friendship. Only in this kinder context can we transcend ego.the self-obsession that causes so much pain trying to ensure survival, prosperity, success. Dalai Lama calls for spiritual revolution that doesn t mean embracing a particular religious creed. Rather it would be based on a radical reorientation away from our habitual preoccupation with self. It takes Courage to set the self aside. Otherwise we remain trapped in greed, needy selfishness and continue to be unhappy and frustrated. During 12 Steps, we try to awaken our potential for compassion, sage hood and Buddhahood. Until you have laid the foundations for a healthy, realistic assessment of yourself and made the meditation on love a regular part of your day, you will then start to feel genuine compassion for yourself and able to extend it to others. Enjoy this Hymn: