Gender Listening Workshop

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Dominick Caldwell
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Gender Listening Workshop Gender matters. Christ came so that all would live life in abundance, but many girls and women around the world are prevented from this because of gender based violence.

1 Gender Listening Workshop Gender matters. Christ came so that all would live life in abundance, but many girls and women around the world are prevented from this because of gender based violence. Boys and men can also be affected, but the overwhelming majority of people who suffer violence on the basis of their gender are female. This violence has many forms including physical violence, sexual violence, emotional violence and the restriction of freedoms such as access to healthcare or education. While the root of gender based violence across the world is the same, in patriarchal systems that position men over women, in the Global South it is closely connected with issues of colonialism, race, caste, poverty and traditional philosophies. We believe that God wants all human beings, female and male, to live life in fullness and this resource will help you explore issues of gender based violence, which stop that from happening. This workshop is part of a series of resources on gender based violence which include the 2015 Gender Based Violence Report, a 7 week bible study and the Gender Edition WM MATters (discussion cards for church groups, Café Church conversations and prayer points).

2 Running this workshop This workshop enables you to share stories from our partners around the world. Each story is true and each asks you to question how gender and violence are perceived around the world. After each story there is a poem or a song, which gives time to reflect on the experience that has been shared. Running Order We suggest that the stories and reflections go in this order but you may swap to suit your own particular circumstances. Dramatic Reading: The Woman at the Well I am a woman of no distinction, of little importance I am a woman of no reputation, save that which is bad You whisper as I pass by and cast judgmental glances Though you don t take the time to look at me But you don t take the time to get to know me For to be known is to be loved And to be loved is to be know Otherwise what s the point of doing either one of them the first place? I want to be known I want someone to look at my face and not just see two eyes, a nose and a mouth and two ears But to see all that I am and could be All my hopes, loves and fears But that s too much to hope for, to wish for or to pray for so I don t Not any more Now I keep to myself and by that I mean the pain that keeps me in my own private jail The pain that brought me here at midday to this well To ask for a drink is no big request

3 But to ask it of me A woman unclean, ashamed, used and abused An outcast a failure a disappointment a sinner No drink passing from these hands to your lips could ever be refreshing, only condemning As I am sure you condemn me now BUT YOU DON T You are a man of no distinction though of the utmost importance A man with little reputation as least so far You whisper and tell me to my face what all those glances have been about And you take the time to look at me But don t really take the time to get to know me For to be known is to be loved and to be loved is to be known And you KNOW me you ACTUALLY KNOW ME All of me and everything about me Every thought inside and hair on top of my head Every hurt stored up Every hope, every dread My past, my future All I am and could be You tell me everything You tell me about ME And that which is spoken by another would bring hate and condemnation Coming from you brings love, grace, mercy, hope and salvation I ve heard of one to come who would save a wretch like me And hear in my presence you say I AM HE To be known is to be loved and to be loved is to be known I just met you but I love you I don t know you but I want to get to Let me run back to town this is way too much for just me There are others, brothers, sisters, lovers, haters The good and the bad, sinners and saints

4 Who should hear what you ve told me Who should see what you ve shown me Who should taste what you gave me Who should feel how you forgave me For to be known is to be loved And to be loved is to be known And they all need this too, we all do Need it for our own Story 1: Scotland (Church and Society Council 2014 Report, Living a theology which counters violence against women ) I was thrown into the cupboard under the stairs. Blood was pouring from wounds gouged deep into my breast by a screwdriver, and the awful insults were still ringing in my ears. I heard the key turn in the lock and I knew I would be enduring another long dark night of pain and shame, with no food or clothes. The next morning, he let me out and told me to clean myself up before ironing his shirt. Then we set out together for church. It was Easter Sunday, and that morning, as I listened to the story of Jesus alive in the garden, asking Mary to share the good news of resurrection, I realised finally that I had to break free, for the sake of my children; for the sake of the person God wanted me to be. For too long I had accepted the humiliation and the degradation. I kept thinking about the marriage service: surely if vows had been blessed by God, I should have been helped through this? It hadn t occurred to me that a Christian marriage could be abusive, and that added to the sense of failure and isolation. I was shamed into silence. My life was so compartmentalised....years later I met someone from that congregation who said "I remember one time I saw you in a state and listened to your explanation for the bruises and bandages now I know you were covering up for him. If only I d thought that he might have battered you, or had simply asked if there was any problem, but it didn t even occur to me.... Living in an abusive relationship was fearful like being kept in a dark, dismal, suffocating tomb. It s been traumatic, but I do believe that I am coming out of the shadows, into the light of new life

5 Response 1: Wonderland, reproduced with permission from P. Mellstrom, P. Mellstrom 2015 You walk the length of Broomielaw Back again and then once more Your lips are red and your tights are torn; Hope has left never turned around The bubble burst and then runs down You force a smile, but you don't have to speak. For a while you cast a spell You lead the dance, but then it ends With a scream so loud it hides behind your lips......so soft, no secrets left to tell You lie your way all through the night But it leaves it's marks all upon your skin. The wind blows through your hair again Picks you up and takes you there A wonderland so very far away; A pretty dress a suitors stare You run away without a care The carousel turns around again Sun comes up you breathe once more The darkness lingers in your bones You cry for rain to wash away the tears; Your head held high takes all your strength Hoping that you won t forget The dreams that keep you walking in the rain You walk the length of Broomielaw Back again and then once more.

6 Story 2: United Church of Jamaica and the Cayman Islands I grew up in rural Jamaica where I had no opportunities for a good education or work. My family had very little money and life was hard. I was abused by my stepfather and my uncle when I was a child, so I ran away from home when I was 16. I went to Negril to live with a friend, hoping to find a job, but there was no good job. My boyfriend encouraged me to work as a prostitute and in a go-go club. He was abusive; I had nothing. A friend of mine noticed by bruises and cuts, and took me to Theodora, a shelter run by the church. I lived there for 18 months. I now feel like there is hope for me and my baby, but there is still a long way to go. Do you think anyone could love me? Will I fall into prostitution again? Who do you say I am? Response 2: Cave, Living Stones Week 30 (Available from the Mission and Disciple Council) Walking deeply into the cave I find dark corners, dank vaults, Shadowy recesses and clefts. There I hide. There I leave what I carry: Weights of worry, of sadness, of fear; Bundles of memories from times long gone; A jumble of stuff hinders, not helps, None of it fit to be shared With either friend or foe. Who knows? Left here in this hollow maybe all will be forgotten, Never gain to be brought out, Never again to be seen by human eye. But, no matter how I struggle to store it all away,

7 It follows me and weighs me down. Is there a place For me to leave it all behind? Story 3: United Mission to Nepal Where I come from in Nepal it is normal to get married when you are very young, still a child even. Sometimes the young husbands will continue to go to school, but that is not the case for the girl brides. I was jealous of some of the women and girls I saw leaving Nepal for a better life in a foreign country. As I did my housework I would imagine earning good money, wearing nice clothes and owning jewellery, but what I really wanted to do was to support my family by sending money home to them. An agent took me to Mumbai to work, where I suffered six months of physical and mental torture before I was sent to Saudi. I was treated like a slave, working in the house and after sheep for over 12 hours a day. For three whole years I was kept from speaking to my family and I couldn t leave because they had taken my passport from me. Finally I was able to go home to my family, but my story does not end there. When the money ran out my family started to blame me, they rejected me. I felt as if I had no choice, but to go back to Saudi to earn more money for them to love me again. Thankfully I attended one of the human trafficking awareness sessions in my village and I was able to make good decisions. Now I warn others. Why did my family reject me? Should I have gone back to earn more money? Who do you say I am? Response 3: Fast Cars, Tracy Chapman (play a recording, read the lyrics or perform) You got a fast car I want a ticket to anywhere Maybe we make a deal Maybe together we can get somewhere Any place is better

8 Starting from zero got nothing to lose Maybe we'll make something Me myself I got nothing to prove You got a fast car I got a plan to get us out of here I been working at the convenience store Managed to save just a little bit of money Won't have to drive too far Just 'cross the border and into the city You and I can both get jobs And finally see what it means to be living See my old man's got a problem He live with the bottle that's the way it is He says his body's too old for working His body's too young to look like his My mama went off and left him She wanted more from life than he could give I said somebody's got to take care of him So I quit school and that's what I did You got a fast car Is it fast enough so we can fly away? We gotta make a decision Leave tonight or live and die this way So remember when we were driving, driving in your car Speed so fast I felt like I was drunk City lights lay out before us And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder And I had a feeling that I belonged I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone You got a fast car

9 We go cruising, entertain ourselves You still ain't got a job And I work in a market as a checkout girl I know things will get better You'll find work and I'll get promoted We'll move out of the shelter Buy a bigger house and live in the suburbs So remember when we were driving, driving in your car Speed so fast I felt like I was drunk City lights lay out before us And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder And I had a feeling that I belonged I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone You got a fast car I got a job that pays all our bills You stay out drinking late at the bar See more of your friends than you do of your kids I'd always hoped for better Thought maybe together you and me find it I got no plans I ain't going nowhere So take your fast car and keep on driving So remember when we were driving, driving in your car Speed so fast I felt like I was drunk City lights lay out before us And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder And I had a feeling that I belonged I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone You got a fast car Is it fast enough so you can fly away? You gotta make a decision Leave tonight or live and die this way

10 Story 4: United Church of Zambia I married an older man who I did not know was living with HIV in my community after I got pregnant as a teenager. He was a very jealous man and would force me to have sex with him. Even in his sickness he insisted we have sex. In obedience I had to because that is what our culture says. I started feeling sick during pregnancy. I did not know that the reason was that I was HIV positive. I gave birth four months after his death to a very unhealthy baby. I was always in and out of hospital with him until he died a year later. I became depressed and very sick such that I almost died. I was diagnosed with TB. I was counselled and was tested for HIV and was found positive. I lamented for days, but I thank God for the Doctor and the church for being there for me. I was put on anti-retroviral treatment and my health has tremendously improved. I am now on my feet again. Response 4: Sand, Living Stones Week 18 (Available from the Mission and Discipleship Council) Seven billion people inhabit the earth. Seven billion! That is a number so large, I struggle even to use figures And instead resort to writing words. A number so large I cannot work out how many noughts Should be on the page. A number so large I struggle to think How so many people can find their feet Upon the land that makes the earth. A growing number, As creation continues To add to the wonder of God s world. Humanity as innumerable As grains of sand upon the beach.

11 From space the view suggests The almost insignificance of existence. Such tiny specks and yet capable of transforming. Like sand, Humanity rubs along the shore line of history And erodes the dominant feature Of a generation. Some of those changes are for the good, Allowing new light to shine, Or fresh water to plunge through to create new growth. While at time Erosion leads to danger, And life can crash upon the rocks Or fall into the sea. Innumerable though we are, It is the interest of God That stirs the settled shores of faith Causing the ripples That lead to new visions Of the coastline of heaven. Final Reflection: And still I rise, Maya Angelou You may write me down in history With your bitter, twisted lies, You may trod me in the very dirt But still, like dust, I'll rise. Does my sassiness upset you? Why are you beset with gloom? Just cause I walk as if I have oil wells Pumping in my living room. Just like suns and like moons,

12 With the certainty of tides, Just like hope springing high, Still I rise. Did you want to see me broken? Bowed head and lowered eyes? Shoulders falling down like teardrops. Weakened by my soulful cries. Does my sassiness upset you? Don't you take it so hard Just cause I laugh As if I have got gold mines, Diggin' in my own back yard. You may shoot me with your words, You may cut me with your lies, You may kill me with your hatefulness, But just like life, I ll rise. Does my sexiness offend you? Awww Does it come as a surprise? That I dance as if I have diamonds, At the meeting of my thighs? Out of the huts of history's shame I rise. Up from a past rooted in pain I rise. A black ocean, leaping and wide, Welling and swelling I bear in the tide. Leaving behind nights of terror and fear I rise.

13 Into a day break miraculously clear I rise. Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave, I am hope and the dream of the slave. And so naturally, there I go rising. Closing Prayer God bless us with insight to recognise violence in all its forms, And the courage to name it. Speaking out for those who cannot speak for themselves, And seeking justice in the world in which we live. Give us compassion for the vulnerable And grace to stand alongside them, through the strength of Jesus our Lord. Holy Spirit give us a prayerful heart Touching others with your peace, As together we face the challenges that lie ahead. Amen

SYRACUSE CITY SCHOOL DISTRICT

SYRACUSE CITY SCHOOL DISTRICT Grade 11 Unit 04 Assessment Level A 1170 / 890 L Literary and Informational Text Overcoming Adversity Reading Standards: RL.11.1, RL.11.2,RL.11.4, RL.11.5, RL.11.11, RI.11.1