New Beginnings Mattatuck Unitarian Universalist Society, Woodbury, CT The Rev. Jeanne Lloyd, Settled Minister January 4, 2015

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1 Mattatuck Unitarian Universalist Society, Woodbury, CT The Rev. Jeanne Lloyd, Settled Minister January 4, 2015 When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi SOUNDING THE GONG WELCOME Welcome to Mattatuck Unitarian Universalist Society. We are grateful for your presence here this morning. I am the Rev. Jeanne Lloyd, settled minister of this congregation. The principles by which we try to live our lives are seen on the wall. Fundamentally, we strive to be a people of reason, faith and acceptance; love, respect and compassion, not only for one another but for people we do not yet know. No matter who you are, no matter whom you love, we welcome you here, we welcome you into this place made more sacred by your presence in this, our religious home. CHALICE LIGHTING (The flaming chalice is the symbol of our free faith) CENTERING WORDS The great theologian, Paul Tillich, offers us these words for centering. The name of this infinite and inexhaustible depth and ground of all being is God. That depth is what the word God means. And if that word has not much meaning for you, translate it, and speak of the depths of your life, of the source of your being, of your ultimate concern, of what you take seriously without reservation. Perhaps, in order to do so, you must forget everything traditional that you have learned, [perhaps even the word God, itself]. 1 *HYMN 128 For All That Is Our Life 1 When speaking for herself, Rev. Lloyd does not spell out the word, G*d, because the term is loaded with many misconceptions and preconceptions. That which is the spirit of life and community, the spirit of love and death, the spirit of humanity, cannot be relegated to one three letter word. Rev. Lloyd invites others to reconsider the meanings of this word, and, to contemplate whether it is a noun or verb. Is G*d Love? The reader is invited to expand their vision and understanding...

2 Page 2 of 11 COVENANT (adopted 1997) Love is the spirit of this society. Dwelling together in peace, Seeking truth, helping one another, Serving human needs, Honoring the earth and all that is. This is our covenant. SONG (seated) ) Peace Salaam Shalom Before our children leave us for classes, let us sing together the song Peace Salaam Shalom... Peace Salaam Shalom, Peace Salaam Shalom, Peace Salaam Shalom, Peace Salaam Shalom CHILDREN S BLESSING & PARTING Go with our love. HONORING OUR JOYS AND SORROWS Each Sunday we take time with one another to share our personal joys, sorrows, and challenges. There are many ways to honor our joys and sorrows. Sometimes we share words, sometimes we share silence. We do this in the sanctuary, the safe container, of a covenantal community. In a moment, I will invite you to acknowledge a joy or sorrow that you are feeling right now. As you center yourself on what is in your heart, you may come forward to light a candle... or... remain seated, lighting a candle in your heart or mind, for someone or something resonating deeply for you in this moment. [RING SINGING BOWL] And, now, relax your body, bring your mind and your heart into this space of community, faith, reason and love. Take these moments to center yourself... breathe deeply. PAUSE PAUSE PAUSE If you wish, you may now come forward to light a candle.

3 Page 3 of 11 PRAYER AND MEDITATION In words These words by Rumi... This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes, as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing... Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide, from beyond. In silence In song: Spirit of Life #123 Spirit of Life, come unto me Sing in my heart all the stirrings of compassion. Blow in the wind, rise in the sea; Move in the hand, giving life the shape of justice. Roots hold me close; wings set me free; Spirit of Life, come to me, come to me.

4 Page 4 of 11 SERMON Rev. Lloyd So... here we are together. At the beginning of a new year Don t we all wonder what this year will bring for each of us; for each of those we love and care about; for this congregation; for this world? What joys? What sorrows? I am well aware of all the hype that happens this time of year. The great expectations and hopes for change; the cynicism that says its ok and to be expected that our best hopes will fall flat, and we, as though it were a common curse of humanity, we, will once again fall short of our best hopes and dreams. And, to that cynicism, I say, baloney! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, friends and guests, you heard it right here. I say, baloney! There are two kinds of change, I believe. The kind that hits you uninvited, unwanted; the kind for which, no matter what preparation you had in life, you were ultimately unprepared. I think of this as reactive change. Pretty much all we can do in such a moment is react, survive, maybe try to positively adapt to it, but, nonetheless it has come upon us and at first, or for always, it requires we change. It is a challenge, a wave, that if everything goes right, perhaps we will get on top of that wave, and ride its crest successfully to shore, stronger and confident at the end of that ride, before the next wave of change comes along. The other kind of change is what I think of as a preemptive, self initiated, change. This is the kind of change people normally talk about at the new year. A time when, in winter, reflecting on the past year, we might say, it s time for some change in my life. I m feeling a little stuck, and little too comfortable. I need something that grounds me closer to that which brings the most resonance to my life. I call this kind of change, break out or break through change. For, you see, for this kind of self initiating, selfdesiring change for a little chaos (not too much), it is in response to being a little too comfortable, a little too set in our ways, and indeed, being a bit stuck. The concept of being stuck, is, for me a good one. Too often, being the somewhat selfabsorbed people that we are, we think we are solely responsible for our stuckness. We think that if we were stronger, better, had more character, more discipline, smarter, more athletic, more artistic, more loving, more compassionate... you name it... we would magically change into the person we were meant to be. Too often, we see our failure to change as a lack of something in ourselves, a deficit for which we are responsible. It doesn t really make a lot of sense to blame ourselves for who we actually are. But, we do it anyway. Some of us, blame ourselves for not being someone else. We say we should be magenta, when we are orange, and then blame ourselves for

5 Page 5 of 11 not being magenta enough or for being too orange. And, then, for some of us, this nonsensical cycle of thinking turns in our minds, incessantly, effectively making us more stuck by adding cynicism and despair to our hoped for desires and dreams. But, newsflash! The kind of break out/break through change for which we strive, is rarely just about us. This is the fatal mistake most of us make in trying to change something about ourselves. It s not just about you. We are each caught in systems (some might call them cultures) that hold us in our place. They may or may not be systems of our own making, but none of us can easily, effortlessly, escape these systems without good planning and support. They are the systems within which we live and breathe and love and struggle. Our lives are integrated with others, through families, community groups, jobs, schools, cultural values, and so forth. We are but a cog in a larger world, that we don t always control, but that may often (by our unawareness of ourselves and our inaction) control us. So, the first step in break out/break through change, is to do some real work, some real discernment, some real self probing. To name first, What brings the most resonance and joy to your life? And, then to name second, What parts of your life reinforce or inhibit you from living your life more completely, in deep resonating harmony with your desires? Big questions... to which only you have the answers... I have a short story to tell you. There was a day, years ago, when I was leaving a job for the last time. I had done a good job there, and people were sorry to see me go, but it wasn t for me. It didn t feed my soul, it didn t resonate for me in ways that made my life feel like it was worth living. I had given my resignation weeks before, we d had my farewell party, I d packed up my things, and was now driving home for the last time from that particular job. It was a warm day, but not too warm. My driver s window was half way down. As I was driving, I noticed there as an ordinary black fly, clinging to the edge of the top of my side window. It caught my eye, because it stayed there, hung there, evidently refusing to leave. When I stopped for a stop light, it clung on, somewhat relaxed, almost casually. When I drove off, it still clung there. When I drove faster (secretly encouraging or challenging it to move on) it clung more fiercely. It would not be moved... What surprised me, was that it clung harder and more ferociously, as I drove faster. It didn t just fly off. // I talked to it. I reminded it, that it had wings! It didn t need to stay stuck on the window. I wondered if it was afraid? I told it that there was nothing to fear, it could let go, it would and could fly to new horizons. And, yet, it clung with fierce tenacity until finally, after several miles, it finally let go, and flew away. The lesson I learned from that fly? Though we often don t know

6 Page 6 of 11 it or acknowledge them in our greatest moments of paralysis, we have wings. We only need to choose to use them. And, we will, quite likely, not only be ok, but even better, (as we build our muscles and capacity to face and/or adapt to the next change). I believe that our fear of change is most often prompted by our fear of failure in other s eyes. Fear of being judged by ourselves or others as having failed. And, this fear of failure, becomes an obstacle to even starting toward a goal. But, change only occurs when we get on the path, when we make the path as we walk it. We have to start out as pioneers, through the weeds and thickets, through uncut woods, crossing streams, heading to the horizon. We have to start out, step after step (baby step after baby step), making a path that didn t exist before (at least not for us). In time, if we keep making those small but steady steps, we can turn around and see the path we have made. We will have come much further and far closer to our goal for harmonic resonance in life, than we could have ever imagined. And, that friends, is about the best we can hope for to get closer to that place of harmony that brings meaning to our lives. Now, as someone with a background in behavioral science, I know that instead of waiting for our mind to will a change in who we think we are, the real way to change is to change our behavior first. So, rather than waiting for inspiration to strike, as Nike says, just do it. Do it first (grudgingly, perhaps) but do it. If you start with baby steps and do it often enough, the behavior will change you, change your attitude, your confidence, and your sense of resonance and reverence for life. Just do it, the rest will follow. Those that are cynical about our capacity to keep New Year s resolutions, fail to understand that break out/break through change doesn t usually happen overnight. It s the planners who will be the most successful, and too often our cynics are not planners. Planners embody hope, assume success, and inspire confidence. Be a planner, and while you re at it, plan the start of your new goal for a specific day. It doesn t have to be New Year s day, but it could be. It could also be Martin Luther s King s birthday, in honor of the changes he shaped; or Valentine s Day, in honor of those you love and who love you; or, your birthday, starting a new life; or perhaps more poignantly the day someone you loved, died... you might dedicate your effort to fulfilling your dreams, in honor of the gifts they left you. You have in your Orders of Service, index cards. I want you to take a couple of minutes to think about those moments of joy that ground you most deeply in life. It could be any number of things. It could be running, camping, being here, reading, being with loved ones; it could be your job (I hope it is); it could be nature, children s laughter, working in a soup kitchen. Something (I don t know what it is) speaks to your soul and

7 Page 7 of 11 in response your soul sings. Take a few moments, to write it down (it could be more than one thing). // As an example I ll give you my New Year s resolutions: they are (1) to move more (because I know that when I feel stronger, I am stronger; (2) to weave (because I love the creative process); (3) to return to my piano (because I love Chopin and Gershwin (and to put some teeth in it, I ve committed to doing a small recital in October). You ll note that for me, none of these things have to do with my thinking or character or saving the world. (I get to work on those elsewhere in my life.) They all require movement though. Movement is good for me. It takes me out of my head where I tend to spend too much time. It helps create the harmonic balance I need in my life. So, take these few moments to jot down in bullet fashion, 2 3 things that bring you joy in life. These are things to which you need greater connection. Your job now is to create a plan. Take those things that bring you most joy in life. Study them. Create a plan. Select a launch date. Splurge and use some of those electronic apps that keep you accountable to your own goals. Tell some friends, enlist their help as cheerleaders. They will want it as much for you, as you do, if they see that what you are striving for will let you fly as you were meant to fly. One last thing. Once on the path something will come along to derail your progress. I guarantee it. Here s the secret though... those who are successful in reaching their goal always try one more time. PAUSE I also wanted to talk today about organizations, and how they change or don t change. As you may or may not have noticed there are different kinds of organizations, large and small, run in different ways. In the best corporate organizations, leadership exists that listens to its employees and consumers, seeking change that serves the common good while allowing the organization the capacity to sustain itself to do yet more good works. Now, I ll admit, not every organization operates this way, but I think that s how they should operate, even the for profit ones. With good leadership, change is easier for corporations, than for congregations. In an organization made up primarily of paid employees there are clearer job descriptions, a better understanding of who is accountable for what, and (usually) a willingness to follow direction toward a certain goal, in return for being paid to come to work.

8 Page 8 of 11 PAUSE Volunteer organizations, like a congregation, are all together different animals. The smaller the volunteer organization, the less clear are the lines of responsibility and accountability to... what? Usually, a good volunteer organization will have a clear sense of its mission, at least at the beginning of its life. Over time, though, sometimes an organization loses its grasp on a binding mission, and goes adrift... wondering what its purpose is and what it s working toward...? Some of us have been working together on reading the book Governance and Ministry by Dan Hotchkiss. In it, he states, congregations do some of their best work when, instead of giving [members] what they want, they teach them to want something new. It is not unusual to hear a person thank a congregation for the fact that he or she now volunteers to help [others] or takes risks for social justice. Sometimes a congregant abandons a job that [was] just a job, at some sacrifice of income, in favor of a morally significant vocation. When people talk about such profound life changes, [Hotchkiss sometimes asks them], What would you have done if someone warned you how belonging to this congregation would transform your life? Often they admit they would have run the other way. 2 Sometimes members of a congregation do not realize that they do not actually own the congregation, that the purpose of a congregation is not to maintain the status quo, but indeed to create opportunities of discomfort and support to help its members grow into the fulfilling lives they want and need. Hotchkiss says, The congregation s job is to find the mission it belongs to... A congregation s bottom line is the degree to which its mission is achieved. 3 He states plainly that the owner of the congregation is its mission. And, I agree... Now you may rightly ask, What is the mission of Mattatuck Unitarian Universalist Society? And, the simple answer is that you can read it at the top of the inside of your order of service. Celebrating strength in diversity, we nurture spiritual growth, inspire ethical action, and work for positive change in the world. 2 Hotchkiss, Dan. Governance and Ministry, Rethinking Board Leadership. (Herndon, VA, Alban Institute, 2009), Hotchkiss, Dan. Governance and Ministry, Rethinking Board Leadership. (Herndon, VA, Alban Institute, 2009), 85.

9 Page 9 of 11 And, I ask, How closely do we hold ourselves accountable to this mission? That s a question that needs discussion and conversation, best held over time. Peter Drucker, a management consultant, states that the core product of all socialsector organizations is a changed human being. [He says], a congregation s mission is its unique answer to the question. Whose lives do we intend to change and in what way? [Hotchkiss goes on to say,] a congregation that limits its vision to pleasing its members falls short of its true purpose. Growth, expanding budgets, building programs, and such trappings of success matter only if they reflect positive transformation in the lives of the people touched by the congregation s [ministry to each other and in the larger world] 4 Some of you know that my original calling to ministry was not originally rooted in the dream of serving lovely congregations such as this one. My calling to ministry was rooted in the aspiration of addressing injustice as it occurred in larger communities outside our congregations. In some ways, my ministry is still grounded in that call. But, I have learned and come to appreciate that congregations hold a great promise in being able to be the ones who address justice issues in their own communities. Thus, our ministry must have at its very heart the capacity to inspire change to embrace new ways of being amongst ourselves and with others. It is in this capacity, this uncynical aspiration to address those events that create dis harmony and suffering in this world, that a congregation can claim its greatest promise. Living into that promise is something we can only achieve if we know what our mission is, create a plan to walk toward that mission, and ask others to help us along the way. Together, we can and will make the path as we walk, looking back with time, at how we have helped each other grow. Together, we will always try again. Another short story. The pond at our house has been gradually freezing over, for several weeks. It s been so warm, in general, that there has always been some open water for the geese and other birds. Yesterday morning, for the first time, the entire pond was frozen over. I awoke to a great cacophony of sound coming from the geese. Instead of swimming in the water, they were all (some of them) standing on the ice with their big flat feet at the end of their skinny legs, honking at each other. Honk, honk, honk, honk. They sounded really irritated. I wondered why, at first. And, then I thought that probably I would be irritated, too, if I d landed hard on the ice, perhaps skidding and now was stuck with my comrades, standing on the pond, instead of swimming in it. They seemed to debate their situation for a while. Honk, honk, honk, 4 Hotchkiss, Dan. Governance and Ministry, Rethinking Board Leadership. (Herndon, VA, Alban Institute, 2009),

10 Page 10 of 11 honk. I grew weary of listening to them, and turned away. And, then, the honking stopped and I turned back. Together, they had lifted their wings and were flying out over the trees, toward a new horizon. May you remember your wings in times of discomfort. Seek joy. Make joy. May it be so. OFFERTORY As we take our offering please remember that half of what you give today will be directly passed on to local social justice projects. By our giving, do we receive. REFLECTION Three years ago, the congregation I serve in Woodbury, CT, got past old traumas of disagreement on social justice issues, and after a long while of good work, voted unanimously to choose "hunger" as the social justice project on which it would focus its collective energies, indefinitely. It strove to address it through the strategies of advocacy, education, service, community organizing, and witness. It was a far stretch for this small congregation, but they approached the issue with integrity and competence and across the congregation, rather than letting the issue be marginalized to a passionate few. Nonetheless, it has been easier (no surprise) to keep the "service" projects going. They have more tangible results. And, yet, we have also done community organizing and folded advocacy, education and witness into a collective effort. That said, we had also planned eventually to also honor the passions of small groups working on other justice issues, tangentially related to hunger, class, poverty, etc. In every congregation, solidarity and continuity of practice are important in order to promote sustainable and effective justice work. Sustainable and effective justice work doesn t just happen in an almost all volunteer organization. It only happens by thoughtful and successful planning. Now we are ready for the next stage: to offer members greater flexibility in how MUUS identifies and supports new social justice projects. The Social Justice Coordinating Team has created a new process whereby small groups of individuals at MUUS, can come together to address other facets of hunger, poverty, and injustice. These issues may only appear to be tangentially related to hunger. But, as I have preached before, the world does not fall into nice neat squares and circles. Different forms of injustice will always spill over into other forms of

11 Page 11 of 11 injustice. The world is messy. Woe to us, if we wait for someone (else) to untangle them into neat little packages for us to fix. As an organization, MUUS needs to be able to respond to that messiness with flexible processes that engage members shared interests and passions. Thus, while maintaining our commitment to addressing issues of hunger as a congregation, smaller member groups may now choose new initiatives to address. We will discuss the process for doing so, during Announcements after the service. Praise be for that which inspires us to change, calling us to reverence for each other and to serve humanity. *HYMN 361 Enter, Rejoice, and Come In *EXTINGUISHING OF THE CHALICE (please join hands) Please join hands for the extinguishing of the chalice. We extinguish this flame, but not the light of truth, the warmth of community, or the fire of commitment. We extinguish this flame, but not the power and meaning of our covenant, calling us to our highest ideals and ways of being with one another. These we carry in our hearts until we are together again. Let the congregation say: AMEN WELCOMING NEWCOMERS and VISITORS ANNOUNCEMENTS and FELLOWSHIP Settled Minister: Rev. Jeanne Lloyd Director of Religious Education: Denise Pedane Music Director: Robert Werme 1 As a courtesy to all gathered here today, please silence your cell phone. * Please rise in body or spirit. Please reserve applause for very special responses only. Rev