POQUOSON LIONS CLUB PROUDLY SERVING THE COMMUNITY SINCE 1948 POQUOSON, VIRGINIA YEARS

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1 POQUOSON LIONS CLUB PROUDLY SERVING THE COMMUNITY SINCE 1948 POQUOSON, VIRGINIA Volume 20, Issue YEARS FEBRUARY 2012 Lion Ray Yannello President 14 Oscar s Ct Phone: Lion Barb Seiter Secretary 118 Laydon Way Phone: Lion Joe Griffith Treasurer 36 Edwards Rd Phone: Lion TJ Sullivan Newsletter Editor 2 Curson Court Phone: President s Message Fellow Poquoson Lions, OK, is it winter, fall, or spring? The 72 degree day last week and the forecast of SNOW this weekend has me convinced even Mother Nature is confused. Oh well, the Poquoson weather continues to make life interesting. I d like to thank Lion Shannon for a great Bland Contest on January 30 th. Her tap dancing routine was amazing and the added presentation on Lawson Park by Lion Keith seemed well received. The Board approved our budgeted contribution of $1,500 for South Lawson Park to purchase goals for the second field and also added & approved $130 for an American Elm tree at PES. Lion Pam has been working with PES and we appreciate the opportunity to help. We are planting trees! Next up is our Chili Cook-Off with Lion Mark challenging all comers to beat his award winning canned chili of last year. This is followed by the Joint Peninsula Lions Club PediaVision screening February 25 & 26 at Patrick Henry Mall, which we have seven volunteers from our club so far. I m also trying to schedule a 3-hour slot at the Eyeglass Recycling Center for this month and hope to have more information at our next meeting. As many of you know we lost a former Lion and Club President recently with the death of Jesse Norman. Jesse lost his long hard fought battle with cancer and was laid to rest at the Veterans Cemetery in Suffolk. Special thanks to Lions Bruce, Vern, Greg & Bill Emerick who were there to say goodbye to Jesse. White Cane has been moved to April 13 & 14 due to a conflict with Farm Fresh s CHKD support, Easter, and the schools Spring Break schedule. Please sign up with Lion Ernie for a time slot and help us help others. We are looking at formalizing our relationship with South Lawson Park by signing up for the Adopt-A-Spot program. Keep April 27 & 28 available as we hope to use that weekend to kick off our support by participating in the Great American Clean-Up effort in Poquoson. Lion Keith will have more information in the near future. Thanks to all for your help and assistance. Together we CAN make a difference. Yours in Lionism, Lion Ray Inside the Newsletter Page Secretary s Report 2 News, Lion Anniversaries, Coming Events 3 Birthdays, Treasurer s Report, Humor 4 Funny Pictures and More Humor 5 Interesting Quotes A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure. -- Segal's Law No one will ever WIN the battle of the sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy. -- Henry Kissinger Some days you're the big dog; some days you're the hydrant. -- Anon Page 1

2 Secretary s Report You do this for fun? The Board met at Lion Dave Moore s home on February 9, Eleven of fifteen Board members were present for a quorum. Lion Ray presided. The following actions were taken: Opening Remarks: President Lion Ray Yannello Minutes from last meeting: Presented Treasurer s Report: Presented Correspondence: The following correspondence was received: Lion Ray received a postcard from Lion Ray Carmines from Powder Mountain in Utah. Lion Ray received a letter requesting a donation for The Poquoson Educational Fund. Lion Barb received a letter from Lion Jerri Furman of the Thalia Lions Club announcing the candidacy of Lion J. Stanley Furman for the office of District Governor. Lion Barb received a letter requesting a donation from Lion Debby Edwards, chairman of the District 24D Diabetes Family Camp. Old Business: Lion Ray thanked Lion Shannon for the most organized Bland competition. Members of the Board also thanked Lion Keith for his informative presentation about Lawson Field and the Club s soccer sponsorship. Lion Keith reported that the Scholarship and Nomination Committees are meeting. Lion Keith reported that he attended the Poquoson Civic Meeting to discuss the Club s Lawson Field project. New Business: Lion Keith inquired about the Club participating in Adopt a Spot. The Board approved the donation of $1500 for a second set of soccer goals for Lawson Park. Lion Pam discussed the Poquoson Elementary School tree planting project. The Board approved a donation of $130 for the purchase of an American Elm. Yesterday I had an appointment with my doctor and she asked me what I did yesterday. So I told her about my day: "Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded across the edge of a lake, escaped from an angry 14 point buck in the heavy brush, marched up and down a steep hill, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake, then outran an alligator!" Inspired by my story, the doctor said, "You must be an awesome outdoors-man!" "No," I replied, "I'm just a crappy golfer." From God One day God was looking down at earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on. So he called one of his angels to go to earth for a time. When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not." God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down another angel to get a second opinion." So God called another angel and sent him to earth for a time, too. When the angel returned he went to God and said, "Yes, it's true. The earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good." God was not pleased. So he decided to the 5% who were good, because He wanted to encourage them, give them a little something to help them keep going. Do you know what the e mail said? No? Okay, just wondering. I didn't get one either. Being no further business the meeting adjourned at 8 PM. Next Month s Board Meeting: The next board meeting will be on Thursday, March 8, 2012, at Lion Mark Moncure s home. Respectfully, Lion Barbara Seiter, Secretary Page 2

3 Club Notes: Lion s Corner Poquoson Lion s Anniversaries Poquoson Lions Club Coming Events The following Lion observed his Anniversary as a Lion this month. We are proud of his continuous service and dedication to the club and community! LION JOINED YEARS ED HARPER Thank you, fellow Lion for being a Beacon of Light and a quiet Hero for those less fortunate! Feb 16 Feb 18 Feb Dinner Mtg. 6:30 PM Chili Cookoff Governor s Ball Pediavision Screening Important Dates 25/26 February Pediavision Screening Mar 1 Mar 8 Mar 15 Dinner Mtg. 6:30 PM Nominations Board Mtg. Host Lion Mark Charter Night Kiln Creek CC March Garvey Soccer Tournament Apr 5 Dinner Mtg. 6:30 PM Elections Apr 6-7 White Cane Apr 12 Board Mtg. Host Lion Charlie Don t Forget You can read the Knight s Vision online at our web site You can also get all the latest news about the club and much more there. Give it a try. Page 3

4 Happy Birthday to Lions: Carey Freeman Charlie Harris Fred Lowack BT Smith Congratulations February Lions! Treasurer s Report Charity Account As of: December 31, 2011 COLLECTIONS: Interest $0.30 TOTAL COLLECTIONS $86.88 DISPERSALS: Charity Fund Return ($1,600.00) Christmas Charity ($1,158.52) Eye Glasses ($65.25) Hurricane Relief ($200.00) TOTAL DISPERSALS ($3,023.77) NET CHANGE ($3,023.47) The Bathtub Test During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old-age home?" "Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup." "No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?" Plant Manager Robert and Peter had applied for jobs at a large company and had to take an intelligence test. Though both of them found the test a breeze, except that they admitted to being momentarily stumped by the final question: "Name a 14 letter word for someone in charge of a plant." "How did you answer that last one?" asked Robert. "I thought it was tough at first... then I thought of Superintendent." "I think I got it right too," Pete said. "But I wrote down Horticulturist." Teen Fads A teenager was headed to school one morning when his mother told him that the neck tag on his shirt was hanging out. "I know," he replied. "It's a fad me and some of the guys started." Weeks later, as the style persisted, she commented, "I can't stand it! Every time I see that, I want to fix it for you." She gently tucked the tag in place and rumpled his hair. "Yeah," he said smiling slyly. "All the girls do." Page 4

5 Miracles One morning a man came into the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, put some on both legs, and then threw his crutches down the stairs. An alter boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he'd just seen. "Son, you've just witnessed a miracle!" the priest said. "Tell me where is this man now?" "Uh, he's over there by the holy water, sprawled on the floor, and cussing up a real storm." Careful what you ask The Ultimate Computer stood at the end of the Ultimate Computer Company's production line, at which point the guided tour eventually arrived. The salesman stepped forward to give his prepared demo. "This", he said, "is the Ultimate Computer. It will give an intelligent answer to any question you may care to ask it." A smart-aleck who ran a humor mailing list stepped forward and asked, "Where is my father?" There was the soft hum of powerful electronic gear going to the task. Panel lights lit and blinked, and within a couple of seconds the printer printed out a piece of paper: "Fishing off Florida." The smart-aleck laughed, "Actually, my father is dead! It was a trick question." The salesman, quickly thinking on his feet, replied that he was sorry the answer was unsatisfactory, but as the Ultimate Computer was precise, perhaps a rewording of the question might work better. The smart-aleck said to the Ultimate Computer, "Where is my mother's husband?" Again, the hum of the powerful electronic brain filled the room. After a moment, the printer whirred to life. The paper said: "Dead. But your father is still fishing off Florida." House calls Old Dr. Carver still made house calls. One afternoon, he was called to the Tuttle house. Mrs. Tuttle was in terrible pain. The doctor came out of the bedroom a minute after he d gone in and asked Mr. Tuttle, "Do you have a hammer"? A puzzled Mr. Tuttle went to the garage and returned with a hammer. The doctor thanked him and went back into the bedroom. A moment later, he came out and asked, "Do you have a chisel"? Mr. Tuttle complied with the request. In the next ten minutes, Dr. Carver asked for and received a pair of pliers, a screwdriver and a hacksaw. The last request got to Mr. Tuttle. He asked, "What are you doing to my wife"? "Not a thing," replied old doc Carver. "I can t get my instrument bag open." Page 5

6 INVOLVEMENT MEMBERSHIP IS EVERYBODY'S BUSINESS SHARE LIONISM - BRING IN A NEW MEMBER Lion Barb Seiter Secretary Poquoson Lions Club 118 Laydon Way The Poquoson Lions Club warmly welcomes visiting Lions and guests. We meet at the Old Community Center on Odd Road in Poquoson at 6:30 PM, the first and third Thursday of each month. Come see us! Page 6