A p r i l F o o l s D a y! Verbs Conjugate. Why don't Nouns? Because they Decline!

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1 from Conference Missionary Dr. David Upp APRIL 2018 issue of MISSION LINK The Great Commission has NOT yet been Obeyed! Anti-Government UMC Missionaries Background: South Cotabato Governor Daisy Avance- Fuentes told reporters 2/22, that the Foreign Activists: Julie Jamora, Dina Anderson, Jamy Drapeza, Adam Shaw and Tawanda Chandiwana, all members of Gabriela Network USA, were on board a truck when they were stopped by police around 8 a.m. at a checkpoint in Palian Village, in Tupi town, South Cotabato, due to alleged lack of identification & travel documents. Some of them were not able to present identification cards and passports so they were brought to [General Santos City office of] the Department of Foreign Affairs and the Bureau of Immigration, Fuentes said. Citing a report from South Cotabato Police Commander My NEW Colleagues! Your first Introduction to my United Methodist co-workers in the NW Mindanao, Philippines Annual Conference. Page 3 Fake UMC Missionaries UMC Mission joins forces with Communist Gabriela Network on fake Fact-Finding Mission Page 4 APRIL FOOL! Continuing my LONG Annual Tradition of an April Fool s Day Page of Jokes & Quotes! Page 2

2 Trivia Questions March TQ: The "7 Seas" is used to mean all the oceans. How many "Seas" exist in the Philippine Waters? A: TEN! NW is Luzon Sea, West (w/ Kalayaan Reefs): West Philippines [= South China] Sea, East (to Palau): Philippines Sea, SW: Sulu Sea, South: Mindanao [= Celebes] Sea, & by Visayas (South-up-to-North): Bohol, Camotes, Visayan, Samar, & Sibuyan Seas. Camotes [by Island of same-name] = "Sea of Sweet-Potatoes"!! APRIL TQ: Have more people of the USA DIED in our 243 years of fighting Wars? OR in the c. 40 years of Not-fighting the AIDS Epidemic?? A p r i l F o o l s D a y! Verbs Conjugate. Why don't Nouns? Because they Decline! People have Sex, Nouns have Gender! That's right... Gender is Exclusively a Grammatical Concern: "We have no Gender!" "We" HAS no Gender! IRS Motto: We have what it Takes, to Take what you Have! Did you ever get into reading those "Reader's Digest Condensed Books"? No, I didn't... because I was never sure how much water to add! Former-Spouse of the US Postal Service? Is Fed-Ex! My Fresh Macadamia Nuts! Are You Illiterate? Write for our Free Booklet! My Hematocrit tested at 36. IF you want a higher score, study before your next test! Dark Matter "should" be the most common stuff everywhere, it's NOT THERE! and Atheistic Evolutionist Prophets still require "A MIRACLE" to create it! YOLO. LOL, JK. BRB! JESUS! [Text message: Easter = April 1 st ] 15-inch-long Earthworm!! 2

3 My NEW Church-Worker Colleagues Northwest Mindanao Philippines Annual Conference of the UMC! Here s a photo of ALL of the Church-Workers attending 2018 Conference s Executive/Clergy Session of the Conference where I am now an Affiliate Member [under my Great Plains tie]. NWMPAC has 24 Ordained Elders, many Local Pastors and Deaconesses, in addition to a few of us in Special Appointments [like BHTS Prof]. It s a gigantic shift from the 1,040 [to 31] local churches and 730 Pastors in my Great Plains! We are divided into three Districts: Bukidnon Province: 17 UMC s, MoLden: 7 UMC s, & Zamboanga Peninsula: 8 UMC s but we also have 19 Mission-Churches/Fellowships begun. We are also studying a Mission District into the Muslim Region of Sulu, Basilan, & Tawi- Tawi {SW Islands close to Borneo}. Courage! We already have 3 churches in the Autonomous Region of Muslim Mindanao: in Lanao del Sur, Kilikili [meaning armpit perhaps referring to their site in an odd angle of LdS Province]. My new D.S. & wife now pastor Kilikili UMC! NWMPAC is under M Bishop Rodolfo Juan in Davao Episcopal Area [& 4 more conferences]. Altogether, THE UMC in The Philippines has three Bishops/Areas, 20 Conferences, & equals USA s Western Jurisdiction (all twelve Western States) in Delegates to the General Conference. This all grew from the first Methodist Worship in a Dungeon of Fort Santiago, Manila, August 28, 1898; led by Army Chaplain Rev. George Stull of the First Montana Volunteers (after Commodore Dewey had wiped out the Spanish Navy in The Battle of Manila Bay, May 1, 1898). 3

4 (Continued from Page 1) - Sr. Superintendent Nestor Salcedo, Fuentes said the foreigners even claimed to be journalists but their affiliations were not immediately known. They [Police] were just doing their job. If they have proper identification & travel documents, they will not be held, Governor Daisy Fuentes said. Dec. 3 rd, 2017, Philippine National Army soldiers reportedly encountered and were attacked by about 25 members of the New People s Army {This is the Communist REBEL ARMY which has waged WAR and committed countless Terrorist Acts in The Philippines for many long decades. It s unbelieveably shocking for the United Methodist Church to join forces with these Terrorists!} in the village of Ned in Lake Sebu, leaving two soldiers and nine alleged NPA members dead. This was what the so-called fact-finding mission was investigating. Governor Fuentes said they expected the factfinding mission report to be biased as they only focus on their own version. Jerome Aba, spokesperson of Suara Bangsamoro, {This source is the blog of the Islamic Terrorist Group which has been fighting for many decades to shatter The Republic of The Philippines & Found an Islamic State} said the foreign delegation was told they were being held on suspicion of being Islamic State members. {Yes, that means our beloved United Methodist Church s fake Missionaries have been caught working with the ISIS Terrorists!!} I can t quite express how INDEFENSIBLE this is! GBGM seems to be taken over by Leftists who stand against both Democracy & Christianity, working for the Terrorists of both the Islamic State and Marxist- Communists. Their Joint Agenda is to overthrow Filipino President Duterte. Duterte cleaned up Davao making it a Safe & Free City with much reduced crime, drugs, violence, etc.! His wise policy of joining the Police & Army together to monitor & reduce ANTI- Government Insurgents & Terrorists, is bearing Good Fruit. We All Know we must show our ID s to the Police at each Checkpoint around Mindanao. For two Missionaries of the UMC to refuse to show their papers at a Checkpoint, & to LIE about being newsreporters & neutral Fact- Finders, is against our UM Guidelines. They left the three Female members of the Team in Davao, because they PLANNED to cause-trouble on this Trip! We expect ALL of those who officially represent our Denomination to abide by Laws of a Host Nation! The reality is the UMC has now been aligned with the Enemies of Peace/Freedom [such as Bangasmoro & the evil Communist Rebel Army] in the eyes of the Philippine Government & Citizens! This PUTS AT RISK all of our ministries in all 26 UMC Annual Conferences of the Philippines Central Conference! GABRIELA Network USA is a Leftist Filipino organization, Socialist Feminist Wikipedia Now, perhaps you can understand why, though the GBGM sent me out as a Missionary back in 1979, GBGM would not send me out in the 21 st Century. Though they get donations in the Spirit of The Great Commission, that Isn t Their Agenda. This is yet another sign of the EVIL which must be Purged from the UMC, so that we can again BE a Christian Denomination advancing The Mission of Christ, instead of Political Insurrection, Terrorism; and Sexual Immorality! 4

5 It s my FOURTH Year in Mindanao, but it was my FIRST time to attend KAAMULAN (Bukidnon Province s Annual Tribal Festival)! I was highly impressed with the High-Quality of floats, music, costumes, choreography, & style! The same melody & rhythm was used by every team, each representing a Municipality/County, which gave an amazing unity to the 3-hour-long Parade. See for yourselves! Just like the ROSE Bowl Parade: every square inch of the twelve Floats was covered with flowers/plants/seeds,. My Tigwahanon Manobo Friends (from Kibungkog Village & Halopitan Town) even had animatronics on their float {a big Eagle flapped its wings while ridden by a real Boy}! Kibawe Team [24 Women] got their entire Float Bouncing as they enthusiastically pounded their drums four-times in unison! All of this took place on Fortich Street, just outside of Malaybalay UMC as it was Host to Annual Conference. I d stayed overnight at the Tagikul Manobo College Dormitory, so we could rise at 4 AM & get great spots for parade-viewing. I missed a few reports by conference committees, but didn t mind! Each Tribe has its own distinctive Color- Combo traditional territory [squatters from North disrespected their land-claims], and dialect (most speak Manobo Tongues), unique cultural patterns, across Mindanao. Take a PEEK at the richness where I LIVE! Teaching in a White Lab-Coat Honors the Islands Taboo of NON-Medical Personnel Lecturing about Sexuality As in Fiji, as I planned the NW Mindanao Conference Church- Workers Convocation Lecture on LGBTIQQPA2SAA I wear the Lab-Coat I earned by four years Ministry as a Medical Lab-Tech. Approaching this Most Divisive Topic from four different angles (Biblical Insights, the Wesleyan Quadrilateral, Oregon UMC Sketches, and the Ignored Implications of Judges rulings). This lecture & several other documents I have written are available from me for all who support UMC Biblical Morality: revupp@hotmail.com remains the best way to contact me, at my ministry-sites! 5