Back Roads of the Bible: A Good Woman First Baptist Richmond, September 23, 2018 The Eighteenth Sunday after Pentecost Proverbs 31:10-31

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Stephen Marsh
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1 Back Roads of the Bible: A Good Woman First Baptist Richmond, September 23, 2018 The Eighteenth Sunday after Pentecost Proverbs 31:10-31 A capable wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. Today I m going to try to do something I ve never done before: I m going to try to preach Proverbs 31: I ve never done that before! I ve referred to it. When I was doing the funeral of some remarkable woman I might say, She reminds me of that woman in Proverbs 31. I might even go into some detail about how she reminded me of that woman. But I ve never preached this passage and I have to admit: it makes me a little nervous. 1. First of all, because I don t want to discourage those women who might feel that they don t measure up. I don t want to lift up this impossibly high standard of a woman who does all things well, at all times and in all places, and then say, There you go, ladies. That s what a real woman looks like! 2. Secondly, I don t want to discourage the men who might be looking for a woman like that, as if she actually existed, and as if they might find her simply by looking harder and in more places. Even the author of this passage admits, Who can find a woman like that? 3. Thirdly, I don t want to offend those women who are exploring non-traditional gender roles and identities, and who wouldn t want to be limited by the social 1

2 norms of Israel in the second millennium BC (in fact, I don t know any traditional women who would want to be limited by those norms). 4. But finally, I don t want to spend the next twenty minutes talking about this woman in Proverbs 31 or women in general without giving thanks to the One who made them, so let s start there. This is a sermon, after all; not a university lecture. I was remembering that movie, It s a Wonderful Life, where George Bailey gets to see what his little town would look like if he had never been born (and if you haven t seen the movie I ll just tell you [Jimmy Steward impression]: Things would have been pretty bad without old George Bailey! ). What if there were a movie where we got to see what the world would look like if women had never been born? I ve thought about that, and I m afraid it would be like that novel, Lord of the Flies, where a bunch of boys end up running around a deserted island, with mud smeared on their faces like war paint, carrying wooden spears, and yelling, Kill the pig! Men, we have to admit: women have civilized us a great deal, and it is all to the good. Maybe that s why God said, in the beginning, It is not good for the man to be alone. It s right there in Genesis 2. God made a man from the dust of the earth, breathed the breath of life into his nostrils, and the man became a living being. And then God planted a garden in Eden, in the East, and put the man in it to tend and keep it. But it wasn t long before God realized that it wasn t good for the man to be alone. In the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible he says, I will make him a helper as his partner. But in the King James Version he says, I will make an help meet for him, which is where some people get the made-up word helpmeet. Have you heard that one? I remember my mother talking about that when I was a boy, saying she was my father s 2

3 helpmeet, and I wondered, What kind of meat? But of course that s not what it means. To say a help meet for him, in King James English, is to say that God wanted the man to have a helper who would be suitable for him. What it doesn t explain is why God began to create every beast of the field, and every bird of the air, and bring them to the man. Were these supposed to be his suitable helpers? The author of Genesis tells us that Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And that s when the Lord caused him to fall into a deep sleep, and took a rib from his side, and from that rib made a woman. Some of the more enlightened preachers will seize this opportunity to remind us that she wasn t taken from the top of the man s head (to be over him), or from the sole of his foot (to be under him), but from his side (to be his equal). That s not a bad explanation, but it doesn t compare with what the man himself says when he sees this creature for the first time (especially after seeing all those birds and animals the Lord has brought him previously). He says, This at last is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh! And if you have a little imagination you can almost see the look on his face when he said it. He decided to call her woman, which in Hebrew is ishah, because she was taken from the man, which in Hebrew is ish. And that s when the world started to get better. I know there are people who would disagree with me. There are those who would say it was the woman who was deceived by the serpent, that it was the woman who ate the forbidden fruit, and therefore the woman who led to the downfall of the whole human race. i I say poppycock. Have you noticed in that story that when the serpent tempts Eve she at least resists temptation? Not Adam. When she gives him the forbidden fruit and 3

4 says, Here, try it; it s good, he doesn t say a word. He can t. His mouth is full. I m just saying that from my point of view when God made women the world got a whole lot better, and I think the writer of Proverbs would agree. Or maybe I should say writers. Because most scholars agree that the Book of Proverbs is a collection of wisdom sayings, many of them probably from Solomon himself but not all of them. Chapter 31 in particular begins with a notice that these are the words of King Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him, and the main thing his mother taught him in those first nine verses of the chapter is that a king shouldn t drink too much (I think there may be a story behind that). But the next thing she taught him is what to look for in a woman, and in these 22 verses she spells out the noblest qualities of womanhood. And that may be our first clue that Proverbs 31:10-31 is not the description of a single woman, but an entire catalogue of womanly virtues. Lemuel s mother may be saying, Son, you ll never find a woman who is all of these things, but when you start looking, look for qualities like these. And then she starts listing them one at a time. Did you know that Proverbs 31:10-31 is an acrostic, a poem in which each verse begins with a different letter of the Hebrew alphabet? It s like that old Perry Como song A, you re adorable, B, you re so beautiful, C, you re a cutie, full of charms ; it makes it easy to remember. But in this case the poet is not describing a single woman. This long list of virtues is not what any woman is expected to be individually, but rather a description of what women are collectively. This is how they have made the world a better place. This is how they have civilized and domesticated some of us more brutish men. And whoever the final editor of Proverbs may have been, that person seemed to 4

5 understand this about women. How remarkable is it that a book of wise sayings collected at a time when women were still considered property would depict Wisdom itself as a woman, or that this final chapter of the Book would sing her praises so loud and so long? I want to join that chorus. I want to praise God from whom all blessings flow for the blessing of women! But before I get too carried away, it might be good to hear what a woman has to say about this passage. Amy Oden, a church historian from Oklahoma, writes, Proverbs 31 says a lot about the role of women in ancient times, but as a woman living in the 21st century I am struck by what Proverbs 31 doesn t say. 1. First, it doesn t say that a wife s worth is derived from her husband s. She is not a derivative being, as much of the later Christian tradition will argue, whose identity is a consequence of her husband s, or whose status depends on his. Nor is there any claim that her virtue lies in her submission to her husband and his direction. Her virtue and worth are a result of her own agency, her actions and choices. Just follow the verbs in this passage. She leads her own life rather than following someone else s. She pursues her own ends rather than obeying orders. There is no hint that her industry is not her own, that she is demure or deferential, or that her pursuits are directed by others. 2. Second, it doesn t say anything about pregnancy or childbirth, often key credentials for womanhood in the ancient world, and still in our own in many quarters. It mentions children only once, in verse 28, her children rise up and call her happy it says, without referring to the mother-child relationship at all. There is a striking omission of mothering or motherhood as a state of being or source of 5

6 identity or virtue in the entire passage. Nonetheless, there is a great deal of generativity going on here. Again, follow the verbs. This woman seeks, rises, buys, provides. She is a fountain of creativity and cultivation. 3. Thirdly (and perhaps most importantly), it doesn t say anything about her appearance or physical appeal. There is nothing about weight, shape, hair, nails, make-up or make-over, the sole topics of women s worth if current popular culture in America were to be believed. Has she achieved younger-looking skin? Does she bulge in the wrong places? Does she know what not to wear? We ll never know. This passage offers a radical counter-cultural message in its profound silence about what she looks like. The closing verse reminds us that beauty is vain, not something women (or men) hear anywhere in the daily visual assault of airbrushed female images on billboards, magazine stands, and pop-up ads. The silence of Proverbs 31 on appearance is striking, and refreshing. She is praised for the content of her character and the excellence of her endeavors rather than the surface of her skin. ii Lutheran pastor David Lose says Amen to that, and adds: As the father of a twelve year-old girl, it s this passage s focus on a woman s achievements rather than on the importance of physical appearance that I most want my daughter and all of our wives, sisters, and daughters to notice. iii But let s be careful not to saddle them with that, either. Let s not tell them that unless they achieve as much as the Proverbs 31 woman they will never be worth anything. Because there is another creation story in Genesis in which women are not made from a man s rib, but from God s word. In that first chapter, the one in which God 6

7 says, Let there be light, and let there be sky, and let there be sea, God also says, Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the wild animals of the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth. And so, the Bible says, God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. If those men and women had not done a single thing, if they had not had dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over everything that creeps upon the earth, if they had only breathed in the sweet, clean air of Eden and let it out in a sigh they would still have worth. They would still be made in the image of God. Just as every human being has been from that day to this one. So hear this, ladies: you don t have to be a Proverbs 31 woman to have value. You don t have to be perfect and you don t have to be beautiful. You just have to be. This passage wasn t written about one woman; it was a poem about all those things that make women so wonderful. And yet when any woman is viewed through the eyes of love, whether ours or God s, she becomes more than she was before. James Limburg tells a story about the time he invited a retired rabbi to speak to his freshman religion class about Jewish wedding and marriage customs. The rabbi told them about Jewish weddings, and then he began to talk about marriage, even his own marriage. He said, It s not a requirement, but every Sabbath, after my wife has set the table and brought in the meal and lit the candles, I stand up, raise my glass, and begin to recite this poem from Proverbs 31: A good wife, who can find? And then, letter by letter, I work my way through the Hebrew alphabet, itemizing her many attributes. She looks well to the ways of her household, I say. She opens her hand to the poor. The 7

8 teaching of kindness is on her tongue. When my children were young they would wait for that line, Her children rise up and call her blessed, and they would all stand and I would say, Her husband, too, and he praises her: Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all. And then I would drink a toast to my wife. iv Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her a share in the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the city gates (Prov. 31:30-31). Jim Somerville 2018 i 1 Timothy 2:14 ii Amy Oden, from her Working Preacher commentary, dated September 23, 2012 (slightly edited for my preaching purposes). iii David J. Lose, What the Bible Says and Doesn t Say about Women, in the Huffington Post, September 22, David s 12-year-old daughter would be 18 by now. Let s hope she has learned the lessons of Proverbs 31! iv James Limburg, Professor Emeritus of Old Testament at Luther Seminary, St. Paul, Minnesota, in his comments on Proverbs 31:10-31 on the Working Preacher website. I confess that I have embellished his story to add warmth and detail. The rabbi won t mind. 8

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