SYDNEY CHEVRA KADISHA

Transcription

1 JEWISH CEMETERIES IN SYDNEY Jewish Section, Rookwood Cemetery Cemetery Office: Corner Hawthorne Avenue and Dawson Street Rookwood Cemetery Jewish, Section, Macquarie Park Cemetery Cemetery Office: Corner Delhi and Plassey Roads Macquarie Park * Jewish Section, Botany General Cemetery Cemetery Office: Military Road, Matraville * Jewish Section, Castle Hill Cemetery Cemetery Office: 129 Showground Road Castle Hill Jewish Section, Frenchs Forest Cemetery Cemetery Office: Hakea Avenue, Davidson * Jewish Section, Woronora Cemetery Cemetery Office: Linden Street, Sutherland * *Monuments and grave maintenance can be arranged with these offices only. SYDNEY CHEVRA KADISHA A GUIDE FOR MOURNERS Printed by: PHILIP SILVER & CO. 107 Ruthven Street, Bondi Junction NSW 2022 Mobile: ps504@hotmail.com 172 Oxford Street Woollahra, NSW 2025 Telephone: (02) chevkad@bigpond.net.au Website: Reprinted July, 2018

2 PREFACE Man came from the earth; to the earth he shall return. What can we do for our loved ones when they are no longer able to do for themselves? What can we do to show how much they have contributed to our world? Just as there is a Jewish way of life, there is a Jewish way of death. Judaism requires us to treat every human being with dignity, respect, and modesty, because we were created in the image of G-d. We try to do all we can for our loved ones when they are alive. So we must do even more, when they can no longer help themselves. When our loved ones are ill, we watch over them; we are in their service. When death seems near, we are their constant companions. So must we be from the moment of death to the time of burial. The immediate responsibility is to make all necessary arrangements so that the deceased may be respectfully brought to eternal rest with dignity as soon as possible in accordance with our sacred traditions. Jewish communities for generations have organised a group of observant dedicated men and women known as the Chevra Kadisha or Holy Society, to properly prepare the deceased for burial to perform a Tahara, the physical and spiritual cleansing of the deceased. They accept their holy duty of respect for the deceased without any monetary reward. Their only reward comes from having done a Mitzvah. GUIDE FOR MOURNERS These guidelines have been compiled for the guidance of mourners and those who have to make arrangements for, or in connection with, funerals. The religious laws concerning burial and mourning are set out in great detail in the Shulchan Aruch, the recognised authority. These guidelines do not supersede or modify the Shulchan Aruch but are to assist those involved on a sad occasion. There are some differences in minhag (custom) and should there be any doubt, the Rabbi of your Synagogue should be consulted. tnka tvh ahse k S D, h t r c h S t n k g C (int) /t C r Vh n J J S e, h u c rëh u Vh bë rup j n m h u Vh,Uf k n Qh k n h u Vh,Ug r f k t r G h,h CÎk f s h H j cu iifh nih cu iifh H j C (int) /Vh jh J n (int) :i nẗ Ur n t u ch rë i n z cu t k d g C Q r C, h /tḧ n k g h n k g k o k g k Q r c n t C r Vh n J t v h v K g, h u r S v, h u t b, h u o nir, h u r t P, h u j C T J h u k F i n t Kh«g k (int) /tuv Qh r C t J sue S Vh n J k K v, h u Ur n t u t n k g C i rh n t S 't, n j b u t, j C J T t, rh J t, f r C (int) /i nẗ t v h v n j b u v gujh u g c G u oh H j /tḧ n J i n t C r t n k J j uh r u v r P f u v jh k xu v Kªt du vẗup ru t c zh J u (int) :i nẗ Ur n t u /k t r G h IN gîk f ku Ub k v k M v u Many have the custom to take three steps back, bow to the left and say: Straighten, then bow to the right and say: Straighten, then bow forward and say: Straighten and say: (For Sephardim) uh nir n C oik J v G g Ubh k g oik J v G g h uh n j r C k t r G h IN gîk F (int) Remain standing for a few seconds, then take three steps forward. :i nẗ tuv k g u Ur n t u

3 Many have the custom to take three steps back, bow to the left and say: KADDISH YEHE SHELAMA (For Sepharadim) Transliteration Yit-Ga-Dal Vay-Yit-Ka-Daash Shae-May Ra-Ba. Congregation: (Amen). Bay-Al-Ma Dee Bay-Ra Khir-Oo-Tae Vay-Yum-Leekh Mal-Khoo-Tae Vay-Yatz-Mah Pur-Ka-Nae V-Ka-Raev May-She Hay. Congregation: (Amen) Bay-Ha-Yay-Khon Oov-Yo-May-Khon Oov-Ha-Yeah Day-Khol Beth Yis-Ra-El Ba-Aa-Ga-La Ooviz-Maan Ka-Reeb Vay-Eem-Roo Amen. Congregation: (Amen). Congregation and Mourner: Yay-Hay Shae-May Ra-Ba May-Ba-Rach Lay-Aa-Laam Lay-Al-May Al-Ma-Ya Yit-Ba-Rach Vay-Yish-Ta-Bah Vay-Yit-Pa-Aar Vay-Yit-Ro-Maam Vay-Yit-Na-Say Vay-Yit-Ha-Dar Vay-Yit-Aa-Lay Vay-Yit-Ha-Lal Shae-May Day-Kud-Sha Bay-Reech Who. Congregation: (Amen). Lay-A-La Min Kol Bir-Kha-Ta She-Ra-Ta Tish-Bay-Ha-Ta Vay-Nae-Ha-Ma-Ta Da-Aa-Me-Raan Bay-Al-Ma Vay-Eem-Roo Amen. Congregation: (Amen). Yeah-Hay Shae-La-Ma Ra-Ba Min Shae-Ma-Ya Hayeem Vay-Sa-Ba V-Shoo-Aa Vay-Nae-Ha-Ma Vay-Shae-Za-Ba Oor-Foo-Aa Oog-Oo-La Oos-Lee-Ha Vay-Kha-Pa-Ra-Vay-Ray-Vah Vay-Ha-Tsa-La La-Noo Ool-khol Aa-Mo Yis-Ra-El Vay-Eem-Roo Amen. Congregation: (Amen). Straighten, then bow to the right and say: Straighten, then bow forward and say: 12 O-Say Shalom Bim-Ro-Maav Who Bay-Ra-Ha-Maav Ya-Aa-Say Shalom Aa-Lay-Noo Vay-Al Kol Aa-Mo Yis-Ra-El Straighten and say: Vay-Eem-Roo Amen. (Amen) Remain standing for a few seconds, then take three steps forward. Translation Exalted and sanctified be His great Name (Cong. Amen), in the world that He created according to His will. May His kingdom reign, and may He cause His redemption to flourish, and may He hasten (the coming of) His Messiah (Cong. Amen) - in your lifetime and in your days, and in the lifetime of the entire House of Israel, speedily and very soon; and say: Amen. (Cong. Amen). May His great Name be blessed forever, and for all eternity. Blessed, lauded, glorified, exalted, extolled, honoured, upraised and praised be the Name of the Holy One, Blessed is He, (Cong. Amen) above all the blessings, songs, praises and words of consolation that may be uttered in the world; and say: Amen, (Cong. Amen). May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life, contentment, salvation, consolation, deliverance, healing, redemption, pardon, atonement, comfort and relief for us and for His entire nation, Israel; and say: Amen. (Cong. Amen). He Who makes peace in high places - may He, in His compassion, make peace for us and for His entire nation, Israel; and say: Amen. (Cong. Amen). Between Death and the Funeral From the time of death the body should not be left unattended. Two lighted candles should be placed near the head and, (Psalms) recited. In particular, the following Psalms should be said: 23, 27, 91, 121 those paragraphs of 119 for each letter of the deceased s Hebrew name without the name of the father or mother. The Chevra Kadisha will provide the services of a Shomer (Watcher), as required by Jewish Law, at the Funeral Parlours. On hearing of the death, mourning immediately commences. Jewish law defines a mourner as one who has suffered the loss of a father, mother; husband or wife; son or daughter; brother or sister, (including a half-brother or half-sister). Each of these relatives is termed an onan meaning in sorrow and is exempt from any of the positive Mitzvot such as Tallit, Tephillin, saying prayers, Grace After Meals or any of the blessings. He may wear leather shoes, which are forbidden to him after the burial (but should not eat meat or drink wine or other alcoholic beverage on a weekday). None of these restrictions apply on Shabbat or Yom Tov. Although the entire family is emotionally in mourning only the above mourners are obligated to observe Shiva and other mourning requirements. The Chevra Kadisha should be notified of the death as soon as possible. It is a very important Mitzvah to bury the deceased as soon as humanly possible, preferably on the very same day. When children live in another city or overseas and wish to attend the funeral, it must be emphasised to them that they must arrive for the funeral at the absolute earliest time. There should never be any delay, however, any unavoidable delay should never exceed 72 hours from the time of death. Under no circumstances should a funeral be otherwise delayed. Jewish law does not permit post-mortem examination. If advice is received that such examination is necessary, the Chevra Kadisha must be immediately advised as they will make every effort using legal counsel to avoid a post-mortem examination and have been successful on many occasions. Mirrors and all reflective glass, i.e. TV, should be immediately covered. Photographs, portraits and/or any artwork with faces should also be covered, removed or turned around. 1

4 The Funeral The funeral will take place at one of the Cemeteries listed at the end of this book and will be arranged with the manager of the Chevra Kadisha. Jewish law and tradition do not permit cremation, but require burial in the earth. The Chevra Kadisha does not arrange for, or give advice concerning cremations. It is not a Jewish practice to view the body out of respect to the dignity of the deceased. It is far better to remember our loved ones in good times rather than in death. If, for legal reason, a body must be identified, this should be done by a close friend or a relative who is not a mourner. It is a Jewish custom not to have flowers at the funeral, in the hearse, at the graveside or in the house. Cohanim must not be in the same room or hall or under the same roof as the deceased. The Sydney Chevra Kadisha has a special room for Cohanim at its parlours and at Macquarie Park Cemetery. Mourners and those attending the funeral service and the cemetery should consult with their Rabbi or the manager of the Chevra Kadisha prior to the funeral service. Immediately following the burial, each Onan is an Avel (mourner). Each (Avel) is required to have an outer garment rended (Keriah). This will be arranged by a Rabbi or the manager of the Chevra Kadisha. This is usually done immediately before the funeral service commences. Sephardi custom is to rend at the graveside immediately prior to burial. On returning from the cemetery, the mourners partake of the (the meal of condolence), which is provided or prepared by friends but not by any of the mourners. It is customary to have round foods such as bagels, hard boiled eggs and round vegetables. These symbolise the Cycle of Life. No meat, wine or alcohol should be had at this meal. ou,h ahse Remain standing for a few seconds, then take three steps forward k S D, h t r c h S t n k g C /(Cong. - i nẗ) /t C r V n J J S e, h u c rëh u V bë rup j n m h u) V,Uf k n Qh k n h u 'V,Ug r f 'k t r G h,h C k f s h H j cu iifh nih cu iifh H j C (/V jh J n /(Cong. /i nẗ /i nẗ Ur n t u 'ch rë i n z cu t k d g C Cong - i nẗ) Mourners with Congregation: /tḧ n k g h n k g ku o k g k Q r c n t C r V n J t v h r S v, h u t b, h u o nir, h u r t P, h u j C T J h u Q r C, h tuv Qh r C t J sªe S V n J k K v, h u v K g, h u t, j C JªT t, rh J u ª t, f r C k F i n t K«g k* '(Cong. - tuv Qh r C) (Cong -i nẗ) (Cong/i nẗ -i nẗ) /i nẗ Ur n t u Ur n t u 't n k g C 't n k g C i rh n t S i rh n t S 't, n j b u 't, n j b u k F k g u Ubh«k g (oh ciy) oh H j u 'tḧ n J i n t C r t n k J t v h /(Cong. - i nẗ) /i nẗ /i nẗ Ur n t u 'k t r G h Take three steps back bow left and say: Straighten. then bow to the right and say: Straighten. then bow forward and say: Straighten and say: MOURNER S KADDISH (For Ashkenazim) Kaddish is said by men only and only if there is a Minyan (10 adult men) present. 'uh nir n C oik J v G g Ubh«k g oik J v G g h tuv 'k t r G h k F k g u (i nẗ-cong.) /i nẗ Ur n t u

5 MOURNER S KADDISH (For Ashkenazim) (Transliteration) Yitgadal veyitkadash shemeh rabba (Congregation: Amen) Be alma div ra chirutah. Veyamlich malchutah (veyatsmach poorkaneh vikarev meshicheh) bechayechon uv yomechon uv chayay dechol bet Yisrael. Ba agala uviz man kariv, ve imru amen. (Congregation: Amen). Mourners with Congregation: Yehay shemeh rabba mevarach le alam ul olme almaya. Yitbarach veyishtabach veyitpa ar veyitromam veyitnasse. Veyit hadar veyitalleh veyit halal shemeh di kudsha. Mourners with Congregation: B rich Hu. Le ayla min kol (from Rosh Hashannah to Yom Kippur substitute Le ayla Oole ayla me-kol) birchata veshirata tushbechata venechemata da amiram be alma, ve imru amen. (Congregation: Amen). Yehe shelama rabba min shemaya vechayyim (tovim) alenu ve al kol Yisrael, ve imru amen. (Congregation: Amen). Take three steps back. Bow left and say: Oseh shalom bim romav Straighten, then bow right and say: Hu ya aseh shalom alenu Straighten, then bow forward and say: Straighten and say: 10 ve al kol Yisrael ve imru amen. (Congregation: Amen). (Translation) Mourners Magnified and sanctified be His great name in the world which He has created according to His will. May He establish His kingdom [and may He cause His redemption to flourish, and may He hasten (the coming of) His Messiah] - during your life and during your days and during the life of all the House of Israel, speedily and at a near time and say amen. (Congregation Amen). Mourners with Congregation Let His great name be blessed for ever and to all eternity. Mourners Blessed, praised and glorified, exalted, extolled and honoured, magnified and lauded be the name of the Holy One, Blessed be He; though He be high above all blessings and songs, praises and consolations which are uttered in the world; and say amen. (Congregation Amen). May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life for us and for all Israel; and say amen. (Congregation Amen). He Who makes peace in His high places, may He make peace for us and for all Israel; and say amen. (Congregation Amen). (Seven Days of Mourning) The first period of mourning (Shiva) commences immediately after the funeral and lasts for seven days including the day of the funeral. If not already lit a candle should be lit, called a Ner Neshama and should be kept alight throughout the Shiva. During this period the mourner remains indoors and sits on a seat not higher than 30 cm (12 inches). While it is usual to use a low stool, any seat less than 30 cm is adequate. Sephardim sit on cushions, or mats on the floor. A mourner does not work or follow his occupation, use a telephone, attend any festivity or listen to music or wear leather footwear. There are three reasons for sitting Shiva for seven days. 1. Out of respect for our loved one by not participating in our usual activities. 2. The seven-day Shiva period corresponds to the spiritual journey the departed soul is experiencing being the transition from this world to the next and thus, we assist the Neshama (soul) in this difficult transition. 3. Shiva helps the family who is grieved by sitting together and supporting one another. Mourners who live elsewhere may go home at night but should spend each day during the Shiva in the House of Mourning. The day of the funeral is counted as the first day and ends after the Morning Service on the seventh day. Leather shoes should not be worn from after the funeral until the end of Shiva except Shabbat. From the time of death up to the end of Sheloshim (thirty days after the funeral), male mourners may not shave and female mourners should not wear make-up. Mourners should not bathe or shower for enjoyment nor wash the whole body simultaneously. However, as we must keep clean, it is permitted to wash limb by limb. Mourners at this time focus attention on the life and 3

6 death of a loved one and the usual pleasures and vanities are dispensed with during this concentrated mourning period of Shiva. During Shiva, prayers, including Memorial prayers for the departed, should be said in the House of Mourning in the presence of at least ten males (Minyan). Prayer Books for such occasions are obtainable from the Chevra Kadisha. A Memorial Light should be kept burning during the entire seven days of the Shiva, day and night. Additionally, two candles are lit at commencement of each Service. If the funeral takes place during (Chol Hamo ed) (the intermediate days) of (Passover) or (Succot), the Shiva does not commence until the termination of the festival. The last day of the festival is counted as the first day of the Shiva. On Fridays, mourners sit Shiva until the late afternoon, rising in time to prepare for Shabbat and change to usual Shabbat clothes including leather shoes. The mourners do not sit Shiva on (Shabbat) and sit on regular chairs. Shiva in the House of Mourning resumes Saturday night immediately after the conclusion of Shabbat. During the Shiva the mourners are addressed thus: Ashkenazim say: (MAY THE ALMIGHTY COMFORT YOU AMONG ALL THE MOURNERS OF ZION AND JERUSALEM) /o h k JUrh u iih m h k c t rẗ J QI, C o f, t o j b h oie N v JEWISH RELIGIOUS LAW REQUIRES THE FOLLOWING... TAHARA/ PURIFICATION SHMEERAH/ WATCHING TACHRICHIM/ BURIAL GARMENTS ORON/ CASKET KERIAH/ TEARING OF GARMENTS The ritual washing and purification of the deceased by members of the Chevra Kadisha, the Sacred Society. The watching over the deceased by Jews until members of the family assemble for the funeral services, so that the deceased is not left unattended. The traditional white burial shroud is put on the deceased after Tahara (washing and purification ceremony). The wooden casket, in keeping with the Torah, dust are thou and to the dust thou shalt return. The rending of a mourner s outer garment, a symbol of anguish and grief. Sephardim say: /o h n J v i n Un jub, (MAY YOU BE COMFORTED FROM HEAVEN) K VURAH/ BURIAL The actual burial in the ground; filling in the grave with earth until a mound is formed. It is a religious requirement, privilege and duty (Mitzva) for male mourners and men attending to complete filling of the grave. 4 9

7 Monuments (Metsava Tombstone) It is customary to erect a Metsava in memory of the departed within one year. Some Sephardim erect the Metsava before the end of the Sheloshim, others before the end of the eleventh month but most certainly before the end of the year. Arrangements for consecrations should be made directly with your Synagogue and Rabbi. They said in the name of Bar Kappara: All those who shed tears over an honest person, the Exalted One, blessed be He, counts them and places them in His Heavenly record. (Talmud, Shabbat 108b) I believe, to the fullest of my belief, that there will be an arising of the dead at the time that the Creator, blessed be His name and exalted by His memory for ever and ever, decrees. (Thirteen Principles of Faith - Maimonides) At the time when a man passes on, neither silver nor gold nor precious stones and pearls accompany him, but only Torah and good deeds alone. SYDNEY CHEVRA KADISHA 172 Oxford Street Woollahra, NSW 2025 Telephone: (02) chevkad@bigpond.net.au Website: 8 (Mishna, Avot 6) (Kaddish) Kaddish is recited at all Services on weekdays, Shabbat and Festivals by the sons of the deceased, if Ashkenazim, for a period of eleven Jewish months after the funeral. In the twelfth month, Sephardim pause for one week and then resume reciting Kaddish until the end of the twelfth month. If the deceased had no sons, a male relative or friend may take it upon himself to say Kaddish, or arrangements can be made through a Synagogue for someone who attends all the Services to say the Kaddish during the Jewish year. Period of Mourning References to months and years refer to the Hebrew calendar. The period of mourning for a parent is twelve months from the date of the funeral. This period includes the first seven days, including the day of the funeral. Shiva and the (Sheloshim) which continue until thirty days after the funeral. From the funeral until the end of twelve months, the Onan is known as an (Avel mourner). In the case of all other relatives, the period of mourning ends thirty days after the funeral, counting the day of the funeral as the first day. (Hashkaba) is said in Sephardi synagogues for the deceased at every service during the year of mourning including Shabbat, Festivals and Yom Kippur. During the Sheloshim, there are certain restrictions for an Avel: not to shave or have a hair cut, and during the twelve months not to attend any celebrations, except Shabbat and Festivals, or listen to music. In case of query the advice of your Rabbi should be sought. The (Shiva) and (Sheloshim) periods are automatically terminated by (Passover), (Shavuot), (Rosh Hashanah New Year), (Yom Kippur Day of Atonement) and (Succot), when any of these festivities occur during either period. 5

8 It is customary for Sephardim to visit the grave on the seventh day and thirtieth day after the funeral and at the end of the year from the date of the funeral. Observance of the (Yahrzeit, Hashkaba Anniversary) Yahrzeit is usually observed on the Hebrew date being the anniversary of the date of death. On the evening before, a Memorial Light should be kindled and should be allowed to burn for at least 24 hours. Kaddish should be recited at the Synagogue that evening and also at the Morning and Afternoon Services on the following day. It is customary for Sephardim to recite Kaddish from the Friday night prior to and to the end of the anniversary date. It is also customary to light a candle on that Friday prior to lighting Shabbat candles and to keep this light burning until the end of the anniversary date. If death occurred during the month of (Adar) in a year which is not a Jewish Leap Year. Yahrzeit is observed in a leap year in (Adar I) and may be voluntarily observed also in (Adar II). If death occurred in Adar II in a leap year, Yahrzeit in observed in Adar II in leap years and in Adar I in other years. For Sephardim, if death occurred in Adar, a non-leap year, Haskarah is observed only in Adar II in a leap year. If death occurred in a leap year, whether in Adar I or Adar II, Haskarah is observed only once, in the same Adar as that in which death occurred, whether in Adar I or Adar II. Also for Sepharadim, if a leap year occurs during the first 12-month period of mourning, the period of mourning ends on the month preceding the month in which burial occurred. For example, if one passed away and is buried on the 17th of Elul and the following year is a leap year, the 12-month period of mourning will end on the 17th of Av. Similarly, the 11th month would be one month earlier which in this case would be 17th of Tammuz. This happens only when a leap year occurs in the first 12 months. The Secretary of your Synagogue should be informed of the Yahrzeit anniversary you observe. Sephardim will have Hashkaba said at services during these days. 6 (Yizkor Memorial Prayers) Memorial Prayers for departed parents and relatives are read in the Synagogue on: (i) The last day of (Passover) (ii) The second day of (Shavuot) (iii) (Yom Kippur) (iv) (Shemini Atzeret - the 8th day of Succot) Yizkor is not said in Sephardi Synagogues, however, it is customary to make a donation to charity in memory of the departed, on these occasions. It is customary in Sephardi Synagogues to recite (Hashkaba) for the deceased every morning and at Mincha during the twelve months of mourning including Shabbat, Festivals and Yom Kippur. 7