SESSION 5 WORK THROUGH CONFLICT 58 SESSION LifeWay

Transcription

1 SESSION 5 WORK THROUGH CONFLICT 58 SESSION 5

2 The Point Leaders handle conflict with clear communication. The Passage Joshua 22:11-12, 15-18, 26-27, The Bible Meets Life It s often easy to misread someone s intentions or motives. We see things from our own perspective and experience. When we fail to see the other person s side, we are prone to criticize and judge. When both sides talk, misconceptions can be avoided or corrected. In today s Scripture passage, the Israelite leaders misjudged a situation. Fortunately, they didn t immediately act on their assumptions; they sought answers and found a solution. The Setting Two-and-a-half of Israel s tribes had asked Moses to receive their portion of territory on the east side of Jordan. Moses granted their request, with the stipulation that the fighting men from these tribes help their brothers conquer Canaan. With the promised land largely under the control of the Israelites, these fighting men were released to return to their families and lands east of Jordan. When everything seemed to be going well, a misunderstanding between these two groups of Israelites nearly resulted in civil war. BIBLE STUDIES FOR LIFE 59

3 What does the Bible say? Joshua 22:11-12, 15-18, 26-27, (HCSB) Half the tribe (v. 15) This phrase refers to the division of the large tribe of Manasseh into two halves. Half the tribe settled on the west bank of Jordan in the land of Canaan (the Cisjordan) and the other half settled on the eastern side of Jordan (the Transjordan), along with the Reubenites and Gadites (see Num. 32). Sin of Peor (v. 17) During the exodus, while camped on the plains of Moab, some of the Israelites committed apostasy by having sexual relations with pagan woman and worshiping their gods, particularly Baal of Peor. God sent a plague against the rebellious Israelites that killed 24,000 people (see Num. 25). 11 Then the Israelites heard it said, Look, the Reubenites, Gadites, and half the tribe of Manasseh have built an altar on the frontier of the land of Canaan at the region of the Jordan, on the Israelite side. 12 When the Israelites heard this, the entire Israelite community assembled at Shiloh to go to war against them. 15 They went to the Reubenites, Gadites, and half the tribe of Manasseh, in the land of Gilead, and told them, 16 This is what the LORD S entire community says: What is this treachery you have committed today against the God of Israel by turning away from the LORD and building an altar for yourselves, so that you are in rebellion against the LORD today? 17 Wasn t the sin of Peor, which brought a plague on the LORD s community, enough for us, so that we have not cleansed ourselves from it even to this day, 18 and now, you would turn away from the LORD? If you rebel against the LORD today, tomorrow He will be angry with the entire community of Israel. 26 Therefore we said: Let us take action and build an altar for ourselves, but not for burnt offering or sacrifice. 27 Instead, it is to be a witness between us and you, and between the generations after us, so that we may carry out the worship of the LORD in His presence with our burnt offerings, sacrifices, and fellowship offerings. Then in the future, your descendants will not be able to say to our descendants, You have no share in the LORD! 33 The Israelites were pleased with the report, and they praised God. They spoke no more about going to war against them to ravage the land where the Reubenites and Gadites lived. 34 So the Reubenites and Gadites named the altar: It is a witness between us that the LORD is God. 60 SESSION 5

4 THE POINT Leaders handle conflict with clear communication. GET INTO THE STUDY 5 minutes DISCUSS: Question #1 on page 49 of the PSG: What are some crazy ways you ve seen people deal with conflict? Notes Note: Remind group members that it s not necessary to name specific people. They can express what they saw in general terms. GUIDE: Direct group members to The Bible Meets Life on page 50 of the PSG. Continue the theme of resolving conflict by reading or summarizing the text or by encouraging group members to read on their own. GUIDE: Call attention to The Point at the top of page 50 of the PSG: Leaders handle conflict with clear communication. ACTIVITY (OPTIONAL): Use the following object lesson to emphasize the concept of clear communication from The Point. Bring a roll of transparent tape to the group meeting. Pass the tape around and ask each group member to stick a small piece of the tape on their phone in a place that won t be obtrusive, but will still be noticeable. (Right across the back of the phone is a good option.) Tell group members that whenever they notice the tape on their phones, they should remember the importance of clear and open communication especially during times of conflict. Note: If a group member doesn t have a phone with them, encourage them to stick the tape to their sleeve and apply it to their phone when they get back home. ENHANCEMENT: Use Pack Item 4, When We Listen, to reinforce the major theme of this session. PRAY: Transition into the Scripture discussion by declaring that you need God s wisdom for handling conflict well. Thank Him for this opportunity to engage His Word. TIP: If you have more than 6-8 participants, consider breaking into smaller subgroups to handle deeper questions. BIBLE STUDIES FOR LIFE 61

5 5 minutes STUDY THE BIBLE Notes Joshua 22:11-12, Then the Israelites heard it said, Look, the Reubenites, Gadites, and half the tribe of Manasseh have built an altar on the frontier of the land of Canaan at the region of the Jordan, on the Israelite side. 12 When the Israelites heard this, the entire Israelite community assembled at Shiloh to go to war against them. 15 They went to the Reubenites, Gadites, and half the tribe of Manasseh, in the land of Gilead, and told them, 16 This is what the LORD S entire community says: What is this treachery you have committed today against the God of Israel by turning away from the LORD and building an altar for yourselves, so that you are in rebellion against the LORD today? 17 Wasn t the sin of Peor, which brought a plague on the LORD s community, enough for us, so that we have not cleansed ourselves from it even to this day, 18 and now, you would turn away from the LORD? If you rebel against the LORD today, tomorrow He will be angry with the entire community of Israel. GUIDE: Set the stage for this session s Scripture focus by reading or summarizing the first two paragraphs on page 52 of the PSG. (Or ask a volunteer to read them.) READ: Joshua 22:11-12 and on page 51 of the PSG. Read the text out loud or ask a volunteer to do so. GUIDE: Use the third paragraph on page 63 of this Leader Guide to help group members understand the reference to the sin of Peor and its connection with the misunderstanding described in these verses. ALTERNATE QUESTION: What did the Israelites get wrong in this passage? What did they get right? DISCUSS: Question #2 on page 52 of the PSG: How do you typically respond when people accuse you of wrongdoing? Note: This question is seeking your group members immediate emotional reactions when they are accused of wrongdoing. They don t have to talk about specific people or situations. TRANSITION: We ve seen the confrontation initiated by the nine-and-a-half tribes. Now let s look to vv and see how the two-and-a-half tribes responded. 62 SESSION 5

6 THE POINT Leaders handle conflict with clear communication. Joshua 22:11 12,15-18 Commentary [Verses 11-12] The Israelites had experienced several times the negative consequences of ungodly behavior during the period between the exodus from Egypt and taking possession of the promised land. When the nine-and-a-half tribes dwelling in Canaan (the Cisjordan) heard that the two-and-ahalf tribes living on the eastern side of the Jordan River (the Transjordan) had built a large, impressive altar (v. 10), they assumed those tribes had committed religious apostasy. The Cisjordan tribles didn t want to suffer God s wrath as they had at Ai due to Achan s sin (see Josh. 7). So the entire Israelite community, meaning the nine-and-a-half tribes in the land of Canaan, assembled for war. The tribes assembled at Shiloh, an early religious center for Israel in the promised land. The purpose of the Shiloh assembly was to go to war against them. [Verses 15-16] The delegation consisting of Phinehas, the son of the high priest, and one leader from each of the nine and a half tribes went to the Reubenites, Gadites, and half the tribe of Manasseh. The meeting took place somewhere in the land of Gilead, a region approximately 50 miles long and 20 miles wide, northeast of the Dead Sea. The delegation from the nine-and-a-half tribes confronted the two-and-a-half tribes with a clear accusation that showed unanimity: this is what the Lord s entire community says. The accusation revealed their interpretation of the altar as treachery committed against the God of Israel. The term treachery, from the Hebrew maal, referred to any act deemed as unfaithfulness. [Verse 17] The reference to the sin of Peor was a reminder of the negative consequences of apostasy. Near Peor, a mountain in Moab, a group from among the twelve tribes camped in the plains of Moab had committed apostasy by having sexual relations with pagan women and worshiping their gods, particularly Baal of Peor. The Lord s judgment against this apostasy came in the form of a plague that claimed the lives of 24,000 offenders (see Num. 25). The statement we have not cleansed ourselves from it even to this day revealed how deeply the devastating plague at Peor had been seared on the minds of the Israelites. [Verse 18] The delegation asked the Transjordan tribes if, in spite of the disaster at Peor, now, you would turn away from the Lord? The question was followed by a warning: If you rebel against the Lord today, tomorrow He will be angry with the entire community of Israel. The nineand-a-half tribes who actually dwelt in the promised land viewed themselves as the true people of God, the entire community of Israel. They did not want to experience another Peor-like plague on account of the perceived apostasy of the two and a half Transjordan tribes. They were afraid, and so they took action to confront what they considered to be rebellion against God. BIBLE STUDIES FOR LIFE 63

7 15 minutes STUDY THE BIBLE Notes Joshua 22: Therefore we said: Let us take action and build an altar for ourselves, but not for burnt offering or sacrifice. 27 Instead, it is to be a witness between us and you, and between the generations after us, so that we may carry out the worship of the LORD in His presence with our burnt offerings, sacrifices, and fellowship offerings. Then in the future, your descendants will not be able to say to our descendants, You have no share in the LORD! READ: Joshua 22:26-27 on page 51 of the PSG. ALTERNATE QUESTION: What emotions do you typically experience in the midst of conflict? Note: The final three paragraphs on page 65 of this Leader Guide offer a helpful summary of the statement made by the two-and-a-half tribes. DISCUSS: Question #3 on page 53 of the PSG: What needs to happen for us to really listen during a conflict? DO: Direct group members to complete the activity Listen Up! on page 55 of the PSG. If time permits, encourage group members to share some of the qualities that make a good listener. Use the acrostic below to list different qualities that make a good listener. List one quality for each letter in the word Listen. L I S T E N What obstacles prevent you from demonstrating these qualities more regularly? TRANSITION: As we jump to verses 33-34, we ll see a surprisingly successful resolution to this conflict. 64 SESSION 5

8 THE POINT Leaders handle conflict with clear communication. Joshua 22:26-27 Commentary In Joshua 22:21-25, the-two-and-a-half Transjordan tribes answered the accusations of Phinehas and his delegation. They affirmed, Yahweh is the God of gods! (see v. 22). They offered themselves for judgment if they had indeed committed apostasy (see vv ). Then they revealed their true motivation for building the altar: they were concerned their descendants might be cut off from the rest of Israel, and thus induced to stop fearing the Lord (vv ). [Verse 26] In light of their concern for the spiritual well-being of their descendants and in keeping with their commitment to the Lord, the two-and-a-half Transjordan tribes had decided to build an altar for themselves. From the start, their motive was pure. They never intended the altar to be for burnt offering or sacrifice. Why build an altar if it would never really serve as a place of sacrifice? They wanted to do something tangible to remind the Cisjordan tribes they had done their part in the conquest. Though they chose to live in the Transjordan region, they had fought side by side with their kinsmen to take possession of the Cisjordan country. They also had been confirmed and blessed as faithful by Joshua (see vv. 1 10). [Verse 27] Thus, the large, impressive altar by the Jordan River was merely a replica of the Lord s altar in Shiloh (v. 28). It would serve as a witness between us, the Transjordan tribes, and you, the Cisjordan tribes. The replica altar would also be a witness between future generations of all tribes on both sides of the Jordan. The term witness provided a legal status for the replica altar from the Transjordan perspective. Such a legal witness testified to the truth of a matter. Their desired goal in establishing such a tangible witness on the banks of the Jordan River was to ensure the Transjordan tribes would have access to carry out the worship of the Lord. Far from being apostate, the Transjordan tribes were acting out of deep faithfulness to the Lord for themselves and for the generations after them. They wanted to guarantee their right to worship the Lord in His presence with burnt offerings, sacrifices, and fellowship offerings. To worship in His presence meant going to Shiloh, to the Lord s altar before the tent of meeting. The large, impressive altar by the Jordan River would be a witness in the future as well. The descendants of the Cisjordan tribes would not be able to say to the descendants of the Transjordan tribes, You have no share in the Lord. By building the replica altar, the Transjordan tribes sought to encourage their descendants to worship Yahweh. They also sought to safeguard their right to worship at the Lord s altar in the Cisjordan against any possible severing of relationships initiated by the nineand-a-half Cisjordan tribes in the future. BIBLE STUDIES FOR LIFE 65

9 15 minutes STUDY THE BIBLE Notes Joshua 22: The Israelites were pleased with the report, and they praised God. They spoke no more about going to war against them to ravage the land where the Reubenites and Gadites lived. 34 So the Reubenites and Gadites named the altar: It is a witness between us that the LORD is God. READ: Joshua 22:33-34 on page 51 of the PSG. SUMMARIZE: Highlight the key points from page 54 of the PSG: ALTERNATE QUESTION: What role do leaders play in resolving conflict? > > When the Israelite leaders heard why the two-and-a-half tribes had built the alter, they embraced it as good news. > > The altar become a symbol of unity between two groups that were almost at one another s throats. Even more, the altar became a symbol of the sovereignty and greatness of God. > > As you work through disagreements and misunderstandings in your own life, remember that godly leaders handle conflict with clear communication. DISCUSS: Question #4 on page 54 of the PSG: When have you seen people communicate well in resolving a conflict? DISCUSS: Question #5 on page 54 of the PSG: What steps can we take to ensure a conflict is resolved both now and for the future? RECAP: Highlight the final paragraph on page 54 of the PSG: Among those you influence and lead, make it your aim to not simply walk through conflict, but to do so in such a way that all people witness your great God at work in and through you. GUIDE: Refer back to The Point for this session: Leaders handle conflict with clear communication. If time permits, encourage group members to share any final thoughts or questions. 66 SESSION 5

10 THE POINT Leaders handle conflict with clear communication. Joshua 22:33-34 Commentary [Verse 33] When the Israelites, the members of the nine-and-a-half tribes dwelling west of the Jordan River, heard the delegation s report, they were pleased. Phinehas and the other tribal leaders had effectively alleviated any sense of impropriety on the part of the two-and-a-half Transjordan tribes regarding the large, impressive altar they had built. No longer fearful of divine judgment or the need to fight their own kinsmen, they praised God. What had begun as a crisis headed toward a war had become, through clear communication, an occasion to worship God. This clear communication had several stages. First, Phinehas and his delegation clearly communicated their concerns regarding the large, impressive altar to the Transjordan tribes. Second, the Transjordan tribes clearly communicated their actual motivation and intention for the altar. Finally, the Shiloh delegation returned to the region west of the Jordan River and clearly communicated what they had learned to the full nine-and-a-half tribes. The result was heartfelt worship and praise of God. The threat of bloodshed was averted and many human lives were spared. The cost of the time needed to clarify the situation was well worth paying. When they praised God, they also chose a solution that honored Him. First, they honored God by speaking no more about going to war against them to ravage the land where the Reubenites and Gadites lived. [Verse 34] Second, the tribes in the region east of the Jordan River honored God by naming the altar It is a witness between us that the Lord is God. Though only a replica of the altar of the Lord at Shiloh, the altar by the Jordan River served an important purpose. It reminded all concerned that the tribes of Reuben, Gad, and the half-tribe of Manasseh dwelling east of the Jordan had done their duty in fighting alongside their kinsmen to take possession of the promised land. Therefore, they deserved full privileges for themselves and their descendants in terms of rights of access to the Lord s altar at Shiloh. The nine-and-a-half Cisjordan tribes misjudged the meaning and intent of the large, impressive altar that the Transjordan tribes had built. To their credit, they did not act immediately upon their assumptions. Instead, they sought clarification and found the correct solution. As a direct result of clear communication, the leaders found a peaceful resolution to the conflict. All of God s people were then able to praise and honor Him together. Even more, the large, impressive altar was there as a perpetual reminder that the future generations of Transjordan tribal members had the right to worship God and to sacrifice on the Lord s altar at Shiloh. BIBLE STUDIES FOR LIFE 67

11 5 minutes LIVE IT OUT Notes GUIDE: Direct group members to page 56 of the PSG. Encourage them to consider the following options for demonstrating clear communication in the midst of conflict: > > Listen. When you find yourself in a disagreement this week, make a conscious effort to listen more than you talk. > > Affirm. Reach out to affirm and encourage someone with whom you ve had conflict in the past. Offer a note, a letter, a phone call, or even small token of appreciation. Acknowledge God s work in both your lives. > > Confront. If there s unresolved conflict in your relationships, reach out this week to confront the problem directly, lovingly, and patiently. Don t settle for bitterness and hostility. Wrap it Up TRANSITION: Read or restate the conclusion from page 56 of the PSG: You ll probably never build a statue or inscribe a plaque to commemorate the end of a conflict. But you can always handle conflict with clear communication and always bring glory to God. PRAY: Conclude the discussion by praising God for the many examples of godly behavior He s given us through His Word. Ask for the courage and character necessary to handle conflict with clear communication. 68 SESSION 5

12 My group's prayer requests Additional suggestions for specific groups (women, men, boomers, and singles) are available at BibleStudiesForLife.com/blog. And for free online training on how to lead a group visit MinistryGrid.com/web/BibleStudiesForLife. Moving Beyond Life's Messes Lately I ve been observing a side of me I don t like. It s a sarcastic, critical, nagging side concerning my early-digit teen daughter, Ashley. I find myself annoyed at small things: her leaving her clothes on the bathroom floor, not hanging up her towel, not putting away her books or colored pens, leaving her dishes and stuff lying about, taking four times as long as it should to get ready. So how have I been responding? To continue reading Moving Beyond Life s Messes from HomeLife magazine, visit BibleStudiesforLife.com/articles. BIBLE STUDIES FOR LIFE 69