GETTING TO KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS

Transcription

1 UNEDITED INTERNET VERSION V10 [ ] GETTING TO KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS THE GATEWAY TO DEVELOPING THE POTENTIAL OF YOUR MIND Adapted From The Hebrew Shiurim דע את מחשבותיך by the Author of Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh

2 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 1 Editor s Introduction 2 Author s Introduction 3 Part 1 Your Thoughts The Basis of Thought Building Up Our World of Thought Learning How To Constantly Think Applying Your Thoughts To Learning Torah Two Stages of Understanding Intellect & Picture The Higher & Lower Modes of Thought In & Above the Thoughts Connecting To Your Decisions Taking Apart Details Three Uses Of Our Thinking Mental Vision How Thoughts Affect Behavior 132 Part 2 Your Imagination The Imagination Experiencing Life By Existence Or By Imagination The Detrimental Effects of Imagination Guiding Your Imagination How Imagination Is Used For Holiness Weakening Your Imagination By Self-Awareness 192

3 Editor s Introduction Getting to Know Your Thoughts 2 Getting To Know Your Thoughts, an English adaptation of Da Es Machshovosecha, is the sequel volume to Getting To Know Your Feelings, continuing the series on selfknowledge which began with Getting To Know Your Self a series that offers a complete course of self-actualization, based entirely on Torah sources. Getting To Know Your Thoughts discusses the mind - the power of machshavah (thought), and it is geared towards anyone who is an aspiring thinker. It is a sefer that requires contemplation and patience to read through. In the author s previous sefarim, it has been explained that the soul has three layers: the actions of a person, the feelings of a person, and the thoughts of a person. In the first book of this series on self-knowledge, Getting To Know Your Self, it is explained on a general level of how a person can build the areas of action, feeling, and thought in the soul. The area of our feelings and emotions is explained more in-depth Getting To Know Your Feelings, and the next step is to learn about the area of thought in the soul. That is the subject of the book you now have in your hands, Getting To Know Your Thoughts - a guide to understanding the mind. While the focus of this sefer is on how to build and develop the power of our machshavah (thought), its greater purpose is to help a person develop the analytical abilities that are necessary to learn Gemara with. Part One (Your Thoughts) focuses on how to build the power of thought, analysis, and decision-making. The goal is to become a more inner person, by learning how to make use of our power of thought; and there is a more specific goal here namely, to be able to have in-depth Torah learning. It is also explained here of the differences between abstract thought vs. imagination\visualization. (Chapters Three and Four are geared specifically towards men). We are then led into Part Two (Your Imagination), which explains more about the difference between thought and imagination and how imagination needs to be improved.

4 Author s Introduction Getting to Know Your Thoughts 3 Our power of thought has three parts to it: our machshavah (thoughts), our medameh (imagination) and our Da as (internalized knowledge). This book focuses on the first two parts of our thoughts machshavah and medameh; the topic of da as has its own separate work (which has not been published yet; it is a continuation of this volume, and it deals with the power of our da as in more detail, as well as how it relates to the imagination.) 1 This book is about our thoughts and our imagination. Chazal teach us that a person is where his thoughts are. A person must ascend the ladder of Avodas Hashem first through improving how he acts, then how he feels, and then how he thinks. On a more subtle note, a person cannot really improve how he acts and feels unless he understands how to think. This is not just a book about our power of thought and imagination; it is about how we can improve the rest of our life as well how we act, and how we feel through learning about our abilities of thought and imagination. 1 This is available in Hebrew in audio format under the title Da Es Da atcha ; see the compliation of Utilizing Your Daas

5 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 4 1 Your Thoughts

6 1.1 The Basis of Thought Getting to Know Your Thoughts 5 Our Goal Reaching Our Soul So That We Can Become Close To The Creator We will attempt to study the power of machshavah (thought) in a person. Sof maaseh b machshavah techilah the end of actions is first with thoughts. First we need to learn what the purpose of this study is before we learn about what it is. The purpose of learning about our thoughts is not for the sake of developing our thoughts, but it is only a tool to reach a greater purpose to reach our soul. There are three general parts to the soul the Nefesh, the Ruach and the Neshamah. To be more specific, the Nefesh is located in the liver, the Ruach is in the heart, and the Neshamah, which is the Godly intellect of a person, is located in the brain 2 ; the Neshamah is the highest part of our soul, which implies that thoughts are the highest function of our soul. Developing our mind is thus essentially to reveal our Neshamah. The reason why we should want to reveal our Neshamah is because we want to become close to Hashem. The Rambam 3 writes that we are attached to Hashem only through our minds. That is why we should want to develop our mind to reach our goal, which is to become close to Hashem. In short, that is the purpose of this book. We will now, with the help of Hashem, begin to explain the foundations of how we build our power of thought. Our Thoughts Can Take Us Beyond Our Limits What are our thoughts? Thoughts are termed by the Sages as a bird flying in the sky. A person can be lifted up by his thoughts and fly away from where he is, when he thinks of something that isn t in front of him. All of the physical senses such as smell, hearing, and speech have limits. The root of all senses is the brain, but the brain itself can go above limits. Thoughts are not limited to any one place or time a person sits in one place, but his thoughts can go to another place. This is why thoughts are called a bird that flies in the sky, because thoughts can fly above all boundaries! 2 Sefer Tanya. 3 Moreh Nevuchim.

7 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 6 However, the disadvantage to our thoughts is that we can fly too much with them. Our thoughts, if unbalanced, will be unstable and fly around too much, just like birds that can fly wherever they please. We are referring to the problem of dimyonos imagination. When a person s thoughts take him too far, he enters into his imagination. Reb Yisrael Salanter 4 wrote that a person s imagination roams around to go wherever it pleases which is detrimental. Our thoughts can take us away to faraway places that we should not go the imagination. Most people who have not worked on developing their thoughts are wandering around with their mind, and their minds are lacking stability. When it comes to our abilities of action and speech most people are able to stay focused. But when it comes to our thoughts, people usually don t focus and go from one subject to another in their minds, and all this takes place very quickly. This is why we see that most people who haven t worked to build their thoughts have a problem in that their heads are wandering around all day with all types of thoughts. They are lacking stability in their thoughts. When it comes to our actions, we don t jump too quickly from one action to another; we stay focused on what we are doing before we start something else. When we talk, we usually do not jump from one kind of conversation to another within three words; we focus on the topic at hand. But when it comes to thoughts, we think many different things in one minute! This is unlike our actions and our speech, which we usually don t lose focus on. Of course, our actions and our speech could also use some improvement, but with our thoughts we can see clearly that we are jumping around too much. If a person goes over what he thought about the entire day, he would discover that he thought about thousands of different things each day. Our thoughts literally fly around like birds in the sky. Forming A Place in Our Mind to Build Our Thoughts If we don t develop our thoughts, they wander to faraway places that we shouldn t go places which our mind doesn t belong in. It is written, With wisdom you shall build a house. 5 In order to build anything, one needs wisdom. If a person s thoughts are roaming around, he lacks structure to his mind. 4 Ohr Yisrael, Letter Mishlei 24: 3

8 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 7 The root of this is really because ever since Adam sinned, the world became mixed up with good and evil, and so our thoughts as well are all mixed up. This affected our thoughts to become shaky and unstable, lacking certain groundwork to hold it up. In order to build up our thoughts properly, we need to first build a foundation to lay the ground upon. Just like when you want to build a building you first clear a big space on the ground so you can have a foundation to build it on, so do we need spiritual groundwork in order to build up our thoughts. This is the root idea of what it means to begin building up the thoughts that we first need the ground to build it upon. Without this solid foundation, our thoughts will not last, just like a building that isn t founded on anything; it will topple over. If we try (and with the help of Hashem, we should succeed) to build and understand what this groundwork for our thoughts is, then we will be able to have the groundwork to be able to build our thoughts. But before we learn how to actually build our thoughts, first we must know what the groundwork of it is. The Effect of Our Thoughts Before we` build up our thoughts, first we need ground to lay upon its structure. This groundwork we need is essentially to enter a new world. We need to enter a whole different world if we are to begin building our thoughts. The ground we need to build upon our thoughts with is not from this physical world. Just like if you go to the moon you will find different material there than on the earth, so will we need different material to build our thoughts -- a spiritual kind of material. We will explain what this is. What is this groundwork we will need? People usually think that thoughts aren t real. We think, let s say, if we have to do something or not but what we actually think doesn t seem to be reality. But the truth is that thoughts are real. How do we see this? The Sages 6 warn a person not to think lewd thoughts during the day, because if he thinks such thoughts, he will become contaminated at night. Why does this happen? It is because when he had these thoughts, these thoughts were like reality to him. The reality of these thoughts is revealed at night in his sleep. Thoughts are a reality. In the example of one who thinks about forbidden thoughts, we see this in an evil usage. But the very reality of our thoughts can be either evil or good. In the case of one who thinks evil, he is laying the ground for his thoughts by giving in to his thoughts for an evil desire. The evil thoughts are then built up on this ground, and 6 Avodah Zarah 20b

9 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 8 eventually he will commit evil acts as well from those thoughts. He absorbs the evil thoughts during the day, which lays the groundwork for the building of further evil thoughts. From a superficial viewpoint, thoughts seem to be intangible. But from an inner viewpoint, which is the truth, there is nothing more clearly felt than a thought. Thoughts Experienced Through the Imagination If we don t consider our thoughts to be tangible, then we cannot build our thought. If a person only imagines that he is building something, when he s done imagining he will see that he hasn t built anything. If a person is still at the level of imagination, then even his very thoughts are imagination, and he can t build anything. He will only be imagining that he is building up something. Such a person, even if he is in thinking mode and not in imagination mode, is at the level of imagination, and thus all his thoughts are built upon imagination. When a person lives in imagination, like when he is in a dream, it is clear that it s imagination. But the truth is that a person can still be in his imagination even when he s actually thinking, because his soul is still at the level of imagination. He has no groundwork to lay his thoughts upon and he doesn t realize the reality of thoughts. If a thought isn t perceived as real, it can essentially be defined as imagination. This we can see from toddlers who play with each other a game. As they play, they are living in a world of imagination. In their eyes, imagination is reality. It is not only children who are like this -- all people are like this, if they do not properly build up their power of thought. It is written, We were like dreamers. 7 Imagination mainly takes place in our dreams, but all people who do not develop their minds are thinking entirely through the prism of their imagination. When a person is imagining something, he knows for sure it s in his imagination. When a person thinks that he has to do something, he thinks that this is a definite thought, and that it is not in his imagination. But really, he is in a sense still imagining it, because his soul is still at the level of imagination. To illustrate what we mean, let s say a person has a dream about something, and then he wakes up in the morning. He knows for sure that what he dreamed about isn t real. But then you can have a person that dreams that he got up in the morning and went to daven. Although he s dreaming about a thought, for all purposes it s still imagination, because he only dreamed about it. This brings out the idea we are saying, that even when a person thinks about something, it is still rooted in his imagination, because his very thinking is still at the level of imagination. 7 Tehillim 126: 1

10 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 9 It is written, For you are dirt, and to dirt you shall return. A man, adam, which comes from the word adamah (earth), comes from the word dimayon (imagination). This shows us that a man by nature is linked to imagination. Although we all have the power to think and the power to imagine, our thinking is generally experienced through our imagination when we don t work to develop it. If we don t have the groundwork to build our thoughts, then all our building will be based on imagination, and all our work will just be imagined. The Gemara tells of a story in which two people were sitting on top of an island, and suddenly the island flipped over and there was no more island. It was really a whale, and they had been sitting on it all along without realizing. If we don t consider thoughts to be real, we can t build anything upon it, and any improvement we will try to make will just be imagined. Of course, if you ask any person if his thoughts are being imagined or not, he will answer no. A person is apt to say that a thought which you don t consider real is definitely not being imagined, and that it must be that there are three kinds of thoughts: real thoughts, unreal thoughts and imagination. This is erroneous, as we will see; if he thinks this way, then he doesn t even realize that even his thoughts are being imagined. In order to build up our thought we first need the groundwork for it. This is when we consider thoughts to be real. How We Can See The Reality of Our Thoughts In order to realize the reality which we are describing, we need to contemplate it a lot. But even before we do that, we need something else that precedes it. To illustrate, at first a person has a small space of ground and builds a little structure on it. Then if he wants to make it bigger, he clears more ground so he can expand his structure. So the first little ground we will need to start out with is to realize that thoughts are a reality and they are not being imagined. We can see this from the example of imagining evil thoughts during the day, which have effects on a person at night. When it comes to evil, it is clear that thoughts have a real effect on reality, but when it comes to good it is not so clear to us if thoughts affect reality. This is because the power of thought has fallen to evil, as a result of Adam s sin. Chazal say that sinful thoughts are worse than sin. How can this be? It is because a sinful thought is not just to think about sinning, but it becomes a reality to the person. The reality of these evil thoughts are revealed to the person, so in a sense, just to think about it is worse than committing it. The thoughts are a higher power in a person than one s actions, and thus a sinful thought is considered a more grave error than the action of sin itself.

11 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 10 If a person has thought to eat chametz on Pesach but he didn t commit the sin, he is not as bad as someone who did commit the sin, for all practical purposes. But when it comes to certain sins, such as idol worship and lustful thoughts, Chazal consider the thought about it to be worse than committing the act. To think about idol worship is just as bad as committing it, and to think lustful thoughts is like committing it because it causes a change in the body that brings one to sin. When one absorbs this, he begins to enter the world of thought. We are not yet speaking how to build the world of thought, just how to begin entering it. If a person begins to absorb this concept just a little, he already is beginning to realize that thoughts are real, and he has the groundwork with which to build his thoughts on. Until now we have explained how our soul can view our power of thought; now we will speak about it on an intellectual level. But we should stress here that this can only be comprehended if one is ready to accept that there is a reality called thoughts. We all know that the ground is real. We can sense it with our feet. How can a person know that thoughts are real? We have three parts to our self: our actions, our speech and our thoughts. Our actions we are aware of. Our speech is a little harder to perceive as something tangible, but we can basically comprehend that it is also very real. There is an argument in the Gemara if speech is considered like a physical action. If you ask someone if words are real and tangible, he might not be sure. Yet we can bring proof that speech is real, because Chazal say that Hashem carries out what tzaddikim say. We also know that according to Halachah, person can use his speech to acquire something, like calling an animal to come to him. Although this is a bit hard for us to understand, still, we know that speech is real. But when it comes to our thoughts, a person usually doesn t consider them to be real at all. We don t see our thoughts, and we don t know what others are thinking. We have a hard time knowing what our own thoughts are. People thus have a hard time seeing how thoughts are real. How can we then see the reality of thoughts, using our intellect? When Hashem created the world, He created it in three steps: first He used his wisdom, then His speech, and then His actions. These are the three parts to the world wisdom/thought, speech, and action. If Hashem used thought to create the world, this tells us something about thoughts. We think that thoughts are just a tool we use to do something, but really, thoughts keep something going. To illustrate, we don t see thoughts in a table; we are just aware that someone had to think in order to make this table. Although that is true, there is more to this. Really, if there would be no thoughts even presently in this table, it can t exist!

12 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 11 This is something our mind needs to understand: when you see something in front of you, be aware that it is made up of three things: the action in it, the speech in it, and the thought in it. Hashem created each thing with action, speech and thought; there is still a thought present in each thing. The classical example of this is the miracle with the Aron (Ark) that it was able to lift itself and didn t need others to carry it. Inside the Aron were the Luchos (Tablets). The depth of this is that inside an action, there are thoughts. The thoughts are the wisdom in something, and it is the wisdom behind something which keeps it going. Everything is intertwined with action, speech and thought. The world stands on Torah from the actions of Torah, from our speech in Torah and from our thoughts in Torah. The sefer Nefesh HaChaim says that if there would be one second in the world without learning Torah, the entire universe would collapse. Superficially, this means that when a person learns Torah in one country, his learning supports another person on the other side of the world. Although that is true, it is not because of merits. It is really because learning the Torah is what supports a person. The Torah, which is the power of thought in the world, is behind everything to keep it going. The thoughts are the essence of a matter; they are clothed by our speech, and our speech is clothed by our actions. The thoughts of something are at the core of a matter; that is why we can t see them. We only see the outside layer of something, which are the actions. But the essence of something is the thought that lays in it. To illustrate, the Aron had three layers: the innermost layer, which was gold, the middle layer which was wood, and the outer layer which was gold. It would appear to someone that the Aron is the outer layer which is gold, because he only sees the outside. But really, it was lifted by a more inner layer, which was lifted by an even more inner layer. Whatever I see, I am only seeing the outer layer of what it really is, which is its physical shell. Inside the physicality of object you see is act is the word of Hashem that created it, and inside that are the thoughts of Hashem that keep it going. The essence is always the thoughts. Just like the Aron was lifted its carriers its entire importance is attributed to the fact that it contained the luchos inside it, which is the Torah the power of wisdom and thought so do the thoughts contain all actions. The thoughts are the essence of everything and they keep everything going. Thoughts Carry Our Body We must realize that there is a reality of thoughts. It s not simply that a person should feel that he has thoughts in him -- that is still a superficial viewpoint of the body. A person has to realize that his very essence is thought, and that his body is only a garment.

13 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 12 It is brought in the sefarim hekodoshim 8, that where a person s thoughts are -- that is where he is found. Of course, our body and our speech cover our thoughts, but it is our thoughts which carry us just like the inside of the Aron lifted the outside of the Aron. It is not our body which is carrying us. The proof to this is that when a person dies, his soul leaves him and the body is helpless. It s not simply that that we have a body, and that within our body is a brain, and that within our brain is our thoughts. If that would be the attitude, then we are saying that our body is the basis of everything, and that it is our body which is holding our thoughts. The true perspective to have is that it is our thoughts which carry the body; the groundwork upon which everything is based is the thoughts. If a person merely thinks that he just has thoughts in himself, he will never be able to understand how he is in essence a reality of thought, and he will never be able to see how thoughts are real. The true outlook one needs to have is that he is a reality of thought. Chazal say that a person is where his thoughts are. Our thoughts are clothed by our body, and it is our thoughts which carry our body. This is the first step in entering our world of thought: we must form a basis in our minds for building our thoughts, which is by realizing the reality of our thoughts. We must realize that we are our thoughts, and it is our thoughts which guide us. Seeing Thought Behind Everything Now that we have understood what we have said until now, we can make this more practical. A person is capable of thought. How does a person look at everything in his life? Reb Yisroel Salanter said that each person sees things through his perspective. A shoemaker walks through the street and notices people s shoes, a carpenter notices the quality of trees and a glassmaker notices windows. When a person looks at the world through a truthful prism, he sees thought and wisdom in everything. He looks at a table and sees wisdom in it. He looks at a flower and doesn t just see a flower, but he sees the wisdom behind it. One time the Chazon Ish was looking at a flower, and he became amazed at it. Then he stopped. It seems that he was doing this because he wanted to see niflaos haborei, and he stopped looking at it because he had reached a high level. But there was more to this. It is because when a person lives in a world of thought, like the Chazon Ish, he sees thought in everything. He stopped to examine a flower because he wanted to see the wisdom behind it. 8 Brought from the Baal Shem Tov, and also by the Ramban

14 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 13 When a person is inclined to want to see the wisdom behind everything, this is the groundwork to building up a world of thought. In order for a person to have the groundwork, he must see all of creation as a great wisdom. The Chazon Ish also remarked once, I do not know anything that is simple. Everything I know of is a complex sugya. This was because the Chazon Ish saw wisdom in everything, thus everything was deep and complex to him. How can a person know if he is at this point? We will give a simple example how to train oneself to do this. Let s say a person sees a dollar in front of him. If he is a regular person, he sees it as money he can use, and if he is a businessman, he sees it as a business transaction. Both people see it as money. But a deeper person thinks: Why isn t this forged? What is money made out of? We do not mean that this should be how we spend our entire life and think how each thing came about. We are just saying that we should begin to look at simple items and see wisdom behind it. When a person doesn t think into things, is it because he is so immersed in his learning? That is not why. It is really because he never thought into something before. He never thought about how money works because he never thought into simple things. The basis to building up our thoughts is to see the wisdom behind everything. This does not mean that we have to understand everything; it is just that we should know that everything contains wisdom. We can know that everything has something more to it that we don t know of yet, or we can think that we simply don t have the time to think into it because we re immersed in our learning; but the point is that we should know that everything we see has depth to it. This has to change our view on life. It is not only Gemara which is deep and complex; everything is complex! Sometimes a person comes to me and says, I have a simple question and I tell him, The question might be simple, but the answer is not simple. It is already a mistake to assume that any question is simple. There is no such thing as a simple question. Everything is a complex, deep and a sugya in and of itself. Let us stress again that we do not mean for one to sit and reflect upon the wonders of creation. It is impossible for us to discover the deep wisdom of everything in Creation. What we want to accomplish here is: how do we view anything? Just like a shoemaker always notices people s shoes, so must a thinking person notice the wisdom of everything he encounters. The Rambam says that people who thrive on wisdom cannot survive without Torah. This is not simply because such people search for wisdom; it is rather because they see everything

15 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 14 as wisdom. It is written (Tehillim 104:24), All of them You made with wisdom. There is wisdom hidden in everything, and that is what gives it existence. We Cannot Build Our Thoughts Without This Groundwork This attitude is what enables a person to have the groundwork for building up his world of thought. It s not that there is wisdom in something; it is instead that everything in reality is in essence a kind of wisdom. Wisdom is what keeps something going, thus the groundwork of something is its wisdom. Let us repeat that we cannot build our mind without the proper groundwork. There are people who search for wisdom but do not succeed in building it. What is the reason for this? There are many reasons, but the root reason is because they do not see that the essence of everything is wisdom. A person might know that there is wisdom contained in the Gemara on his shtender, but when he goes out into the street, he thinks that there is no wisdom to be found. This is incorrect; there is wisdom in everything we see. Hashem created all of Creation with wisdom. When this is a person s attitude, he can live in a reality of wisdom. If the attitude is merely that there is wisdom contained in everything, he will not be able to live the wisdom of everything, because he views reality and wisdom as two separate things. The real attitude to have is that the essence of everything is wisdom. This might sound very far away from us when we hear this the first time and maybe a little too lofty, but it is a question of how to live our life. Chazal say that Hashem, the Torah, and the Jewish people are one. There is much depth to this statement, but it pertains to us now as follows: the Torah is entirely wisdom, and if the Jewish people are part of the Torah, it is because we have the power to see everything as wisdom. Hashem looked into the Torah and created the world. Everything Hashem created is a kind of wisdom. Everything has a physical garment over it, but the basis of each thing in creation is the wisdom that lies in it. This is the beginning of entering a life of thought. This is just the beginning of how we enter the world of thought we haven t learned yet how to build it. In the coming chapters, we will learn how to build our thoughts, with the help of Hashem.

16 Getting to Know Your Thoughts Building Up Our World of Thought Each Person Has His Own Way To Think In the first chapter, we have laid the foundation for our thoughts; we have said what the groundwork for our thoughts is. Now, with the help of Hashem, we will speak about how to build the thoughts, and to be more exact, we will speak about how to begin building them. Before a person builds something, he first thinks how he will build it. With wisdom a house is built. To illustrate what we mean, we know that no two structures are ever the same; every house is different. If everything would be built the same, no one would have to think how to build. Even the Beis HaMikdash, which had a very specific design, was different each time in its measurements. Our soul is the same there are always different ways how to think. Chazal say that just as all faces are different, so does every person think differently. Every soul has its own way how to think. It s not simply that everyone has their own opinion; it is that everyone has their own way to build their thoughts. A person must see everything as a structure. The nature of a person is that we don t see how a bunch of things connect, but we need to see how things are not random and that they really connect. To illustrate what we mean, we know that many times throughout the Talmud, there are two schools of thought Hillel and Shamai. Every time we come across a statement of Hillel or Shamai, do we see how all their statements connect, or do we look at them as just randomly dispersed statements? A superficial kind of person would say that it s all random and there s no connection. But the truth is that each of them had their own way to think. A person with true wisdom can read a statement of Hillel or Shamai and be able to tell who is saying it, because he knows how the schools of Hillel and Shamai think. There is a story that someone once came to Rav Chaim Soloveitchik zt l and asked him for an approbation to a sefer he was publishing. Rav Chaim perused the pages of the sefer and said, Whatever question you asked in this sefer, I can predict what you will answer. This was not ruach hakodesh. It was that he had absorbed the way of thinking of the author. In order to know someone else s thoughts, one has to have ruach hakodesh or to be astoundingly brilliant. But something everyone can understand is that each person has his own independent way of thinking.

17 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 16 All the Rishonim and Acharonim had their own way how to think and their own writing style. Some wrote in a lengthier manner and some wrote very briefly. In order for a person to build up his own way how he thinks, he needs to learn the different ways that there are to think. For this, a person to first amass a lot of information contained in the Torah. Learning How To Think On Your Own People are used to thinking based on the way they grew up and where they grew up; if a person s community thinks a certain way, then a person naturally thinks like his community. The place where you grew up thinks a certain way, but does that mean that you must remain thinking that way? When you were a child, you couldn t do anything about this, and that is what Hashem wanted from you. Hashem indeed wanted you to grow up in the place you grew up in. It could be that even as you get older and mature, you were also supposed to remain in your community, but that still doesn t mean that you must think now like how your surroundings think. To explain a little more what we mean, often people like to visit their families. Often, because we are around our families so much, we think that we have to think like them. But who says that a person needs to always be around his family that he grew up with? Just because a person grew up in this family doesn t mean that he fits in with them. It could be that he was sent into this family so that his soul can be rectified but that doesn t mean that he is in a place that s good for him. As long as the home isn t dysfunctional, a child loves his home, but that still doesn t mean he is growing up in a surrounding that is right for him. Now that you are older, it is time to re-evaluate your thinking. Chazal say that in the first year of marriage, a married woman longs for her family (Yevamos 42b). But does that mean that it s good for her? Not necessarily. Some will say that if this is her family, then it must be that Hashem wants her to be around them. But this is not true; it may be part of her mission in life to have grown up with them, and it may have even developed her into the person who she is today, but this still doesn t mean it s good for her to be there. Even if we know for sure that she was sent to this family by Hashem in order to achieve a tikkun (soul rectification), this still doesn t make it good for her to be there. In Egypt, the people were afflicted in that the men had to do women s labor and the women had to do men s labor; we learn from here that it s possible for a person to grow up in a family in which he wasn t really being himself he grew up in a sort of exile in which he had to do things that did not express who he is. Being in exile helps you cleanse your soul, but it s not meant for you to stay that way. You have to move on at some point. Let s say a person feels a certain affinity to something. Does this mean he is really acting like who he is? Most of the time, a person is drawn toward something not because of his actual self-expression, but for superficial reasons.

18 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 17 For example, if a person grew up in a place where they eat certain kinds of foods and listened to certain kinds of music, and he likes that food and music, it s only because he grew up getting used to it, but not because he really likes those things. What you learn as a child is called girsa d yankusa, and often people have girsa d yankusa in their physical life too but it s just coming from nostalgia, not from the person s honest self-expressions that are true to who he is. The same can go for our thinking. Many times in our thinking we rely on our girsa d yankusa, the way we thought as children. If a person doesn t try to change his thinking, he still thinks like how he used to think when he was a child. We usually don t see people who worked on learning how to think. If they grew up a certain way, that s how they think, and it s not because they clarified this on their own. They just take life as it comes and never try to figure out who they really are and how they are really supposed to think. Every person needs to search for a new beginning, just like Avraham Avinu had to leave his father Terach s house and never return to there. Of course, we have to continue what we were doing until now and keep all our minhagim (customs) and mesorah (traditions) we have, but to remain at that level alone is to be superficial. At some point, each person needs to find his own way how he thinks. To give another example, a father and a son don t have to learn in the same yeshiva. We are not referring to choosing how you dress and how you behave, which are discussions about externalities. We are referring to something that must go on in our soul a kind of soul-searching. Even if a father lived a truthful kind of life and acted properly, this doesn t mean that his child has to continue doing everything his father did. We must continue our mesorah, but that doesn t mean we have to continue how our fathers and teachers thought. What, then, is the meaning of carrying on the mesorah of our fathers and teachers? It means that we must continue our mesorah in searching for the truth, and that always stays the same, throughout all the generations. But how we get to the truth must be in each person s individual way. Although we have been thinking since we were children, we can t just rely on our old thinking patterns. We need to build up our thoughts, and in order to do this, we need to become familiar with the different ways how to think which are brought by our teachers. This takes at least a few years! After you know the different ways how to think, you can then begin to find where you belong in all of it. If you don t know the different ways to think that are available, you will not be able to find where you belong in all of it. A young person cannot and should not do this, and he will harm himself in the process if he tries to do it. But as a person gets older and is more

19 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 18 mature it is impossible to say exactly when and how much a person should begin to acquire different ways how to think. What we are saying applies to every part of the Torah Halacha, Agadta (homiletics), Iyun (learning in-depth) and Bekius (learning on a basic level). There are different ways to think in each part of the Torah, and a person needs to first have this information. There is no part of the Torah which doesn t have in it many ways how to think. This is the beginning of building our actual self. When a person learns about the different systems of thought, he needs to find himself in it where he personally belongs. But without first learning the actual information, a person won t be able to build up his self. Learning What Your Heart Desires This is a very subtle job. It is involves both searching our external and inner layers of our self. Sometimes a person feels a connection to something, but that doesn t mean it comes from an inner place in himself; it can really be superficial. For example, Chazal say that a person should learn mah shelibo chofetz, what his heart desires. Does this mean that if a person desires to learn in a bad environment that he should learn there, just because he feels that way?! Of course not. Just because a person feels a certain way doesn t mean that he should act upon it. When a person is in a certain place that thinks differently than him, he naturally feels like a stranger there. He would rather return to the old way how he s used to thinking; he is apt to think to himself, Well, Chazal say that a person has to learn in a place where his heart desires to be, and this is not my place This is erroneous. Chazal say that a person should learn in a place where his heart desires, but does that mean that a person should learn wherever it is pleasant to be? If a person finds it pleasant to learn in a place where people sit around and waste their time and where he can hear lots of interesting conversations, does this mean that he should learn in such a place, just because he finds it pleasant?! Certainly this was not the intention of Chazal. A person has to first learn in order to learn where his heart desires to be. The point of what we are saying is that sometimes a person feels or thinks a certain way, but this doesn t emanate from a pure, deep place within himself. It is rather due to superficial reasons, not from his essence. How can a person know if he wants something from his essence or if it s just coming from superficial influence? This is a very subtle point, but we will try to learn how, with the help of Hashem.

20 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 19 Revealing Your Power Of Unique Thought Anyone who learns Torah goes through a beginning stage. At the beginning, a person first absorbs and receives knowledge from his teachers. At this beginning stage, that is the way to learn. At the beginning stage, when one is still receiving knowledge from his teachers, he hasn t yet revealed his true self. He is only revealing the knowledge he is taught. There can be somewhat of a self-revelation as well in this stage, because in learning there are two parts Chochmah (the wisdom that a person receives from his teachers) and Binah (what he has understood on his own). But the nature of a person in the beginning stage of learning is to focus on what he s receiving from his teachers and not look to come up with his own novelties (chiddushim). It is only when a person begins to come up with his own novelties that he begins to become like a flowing spring and reveal his true self. Of course, a person must receive guidance from his teachers. But that is only part of one s goal in life. What you receive reveals your teacher, but it doesn t reveal who you are yet. Let s say a person is able to come up with his own chiddushim (novel Torah thoughts) based on how his teacher thinks, but they are not based on his own way of thinking. Such chiddushim don t come from his true self, from the inner I that is in every person. A person needs to access his own unique flow of thoughts in himself, which are the source for his thoughts. Many chiddushim of people, although they are true, are not really their own chiddushim, but they are borrowed from what they have seen by others. In order to discover who you really are, you need to reach your power of chiddush to develop your own new thinking. When a person never reaches the inner source of himself, he hasn t yet identified himself. He might know what he likes and what he doesn t like, and he can know what s close to his heart and what isn t but he hasn t yet identified his true self. But when a person discovers that deep down he has an inner source from which original thoughts flow out of, he reveals his true essence. We are not saying that he must differ from the way of thinking of his teachers; a person s power of original thought that he must uncover should be coming from the tools he has received from his teachers to learn how to think. But this discovery will be his own unique inner flow of thought. Bribery Of The Mind There is a danger to this though, because many people are really lying to themselves and they aren t aware of it. Their thinking is based on haughtiness, and they are entirely focused on their I that is thinking.

21 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 20 Some people cannot learn something unless they have what to say on it, because they have to always see how I come into the picture. If Rashi says A, such a person is inclined to say B. He might say, Rashi is true, but I have my own way to explain it. This is not because of his inner source of thought we are speaking about; it is just an inflated ego. It is his haughtiness which leads him to always find his opinion; such a person will force himself to always say something different than what is in front of him. A person might be aware of this or he might not be, but even if he isn t, it is still going on in his subconscious. There are also people who have a different problem: when they learn a sugya, they feel that it is dry, unless they are able to come up with a chiddush. Such chiddushim aren t true chiddushim; they come from the person s ego, which always seeks to get noticed. The ego is always at work even as a person learns Torah, always trying to find itself by coming up with something new, so that is can express itself and receive some attention. The real, true inner source of thought in a person is a pure place in the soul, but the problem is that there is an evil force in the soul called shochad a mental bribe, which distorts someone s perception and makes him biased. A person can have bribery in his mind, and if he does, everything he says comes from his warped thinking, a result of his mental bribery. To illustrate, you can have pure spring water, but by the time it comes to your cup it has gone through a lot of dirty pipes, so it is not as clear as its original source. Most people, in fact, never reach their true unique flow of thought inside of them, and there can be many reasons for this. But what applies to us is because they have a mental bribery, which warps their whole thinking. We are not speaking about a monetary bribe; we are referring to the personal desires of a person, which are the root of swaying one s mind. When a person wants to arrive at a certain conclusion, his whole head is leaning toward what he wants to arrive at, and he misses his real source of thinking. The Chazon Ish said that there are people who already have their preconceived agendas even before they begin a sugya. For example, if a person wants to conclude that something is permissible to do, he will learn the whole sugya in order to arrive at this conclusion. Even when a person asks a question to a Rov, who is wiser than him, it is possible for him to mentally bribe the Rov! The Rov might give him the answer that the questioner wanted, and he won t even realize that the questioner has bribed him into his thinking. This is quite astounding! Unless the questioner is really prepared to accept the answer of the Rov, it is possible that he s bribing the Rov that is the power of bribery.

22 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 21 Reaching Your Potential In Learning Torah Chazal 9 state that a baby in its mother s stomach learns the entire Torah. We are taught that this doesn t only mean the Torah we received at Har Sinai, but it refers to one s unique part of the Torah. Whatever you will learn in this lifetime, that is what you are taught. When he exits the womb, an angel strikes him and he forgets all his learning. A person s job in his life is to return to his unique portion in the Torah which he was taught in the womb. But if a person hasn t purified himself internally, it is possible that he is learning a part of Torah which isn t for him. He might learn Torah his entire life, but it won t be the unique part of the Torah that was meant for him. When he comes to the world of truth, he will be shown that he didn t learn what he was supposed to How can a person know if he is learning his rightful part of the Torah? The Ramban says that since we can t find out from a prophet what s right for our soul, we need to get rid of our mental bribery. Just like a person is able to know how something tastes, so is a person able to know what part of the Torah he must learn. A person can t know if it if he is blinded by personal interests. In other words, in order to know your unique part in the Torah, you will need to do two things. The outer part of your job is to amass the information you must know, and the inner part of your job is to reach your inner source of thought. The information which you amass is the tool you need to receive your inner source of thought. If we don t have a container to hold what we gain, we won t be able to hold onto it. But if we just build our container and don t put anything into it, we might know a lot, but we won t reach our own potential. Torah Lishmah Enables A Person To Trust His First Thoughts Why does a very great leader use his first thought? What is so special about the first thought? Shouldn t it be the other way around that only after hearing all the details can a person decide? A Gadol doesn t think that way. It is precisely his first thought which he trusts; why? By a Gadol, the first thought that entered his mind comes from a pure place, from the true source of thought in the soul. A Gadol s thoughts come from this inner source, because since he learns the Torah is a true way, he bears the seal of Hashem, which is truth. A person can only trust his first thought if he is certain that he learns Torah lishmah. One who doesn t learn Torah lishmah is not able to give advice from this inner place in himself. 9 Niddah 30b

23 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 22 Build Up The Way You Think, Not The Way Others Think This last point was said to bring out the intensity this discussion, but practically speaking, there is no person who is totally clean from personal interests. We are just saying that there is an inner place in the soul where a person desires the truth, and we must reach it. Without reaching this inner point in our soul (of reaching your own unique way to think, which is the source of your thoughts), a person can go his whole life and amass a lot of Torah knowledge, but it s like a contractor who is always building houses according to his buyer s exact wishes. A good contractor builds houses that he designs and then he sells them; a person has to build his house, not others houses. There are people who know how to build up entire structures of thought in the Torah, but they never end up building their own potential in learning. And give to us our portion in Your Torah we each want our own portion in the Torah. To uncover our unique potential that each of us has, we all must reach our inner source of thought. It is brought in the sefarim hakedoshim that in the upper worlds, each scholar has his own beis midrash (place of study). What is the depth behind this? Why are there so many yeshivos and batei midrashim in heaven? Why doesn t everyone just learn in the beis midrash of Avraham Avinu? It is because every beis midrash there has its own way how to think. Each person has his own beis midrash in heaven that he builds up, using his inner source of thought which is unique only to him. It is written, With wisdom, a house is built. We build our house through how we think through our own wisdom. We can t remain satisfied with what we were taught by our teachers. We need to build upon that and uncover our own way how to think. Later we will learn that these are essentially two different stages to our thinking. The first stage is the lower kind of Chochmah, in which a person receives from his teachers. The second stage we need to reach in our thinking is the higher Chochmah, which is to think from ourselves. Beginning To Understand A Sugya To give an example of what we mean, when the Chazon Ish learned a sugya, he didn t glance right away at Rashi. First, he thought on his own what the Gemara could mean, and only after that did he take a look at Rashi. If he found that Rashi said the same thing as he thought, good, and if not, he would try to understand why not. We are not saying that everyone needs to learn like this; the point is that when one learns Gemara, he has to have his own original understanding at first.

24 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 23 The tools we need to think are what we gain from our teachers, and this is an unchanging chain throughout each generation. But the subtlety and the depth of how we think is up to each person to uncover on his own. The truth is that everything has already been revealed to Moshe Rabbeinu at Har Sinai, but it is our job to actually come and reveal it to its full potential. This is our job to reveal our potential. It is up to each person to do. This is not because we are trying to simply sharpen our brain, but it is because we need to find our unique way of thinking. You need to train yourself and get used to thinking according to your own unique thinking patterns. If a person begins to learn something only according to another person s understanding that is not his own, he right away loses his own thinking. Again, we must emphasize that we are not saying that one should be haughty and only value his own opinion; we are referring to the deep place in one s soul where his thoughts flow from. We have mentioned so far two things. The first thing we need is to truly learn the Torah. We have to dedicate ourselves to it; when one learns Torah, he is actually connected to his very self. This is difficult; the second thing we need, which is also hard but not has hard as the first, is to train ourselves to always think in the same pattern. One s thoughts should be an expression of his own source of thought, found in his own soul. We are not saying that a person has to remain with thinking like how he first thought; we mean that a person should begin to learn a sugya after he has his own thought about it, and then see Rashi, Tosafos, the Rishonim and the Acharonim until he learns the practical Halacha; he doesn t necessarily have to end his learning like how he thought originally. Learning The Details Of A Sugya When a person begins to reveal his inner source of thought, his thinking strengthens with time. It s like weaving a garment; the more you weave it, the more beautiful it looks in the end. At the beginning stage of this, a person learns a sugya and tries to understand what he has to say about it. He then learns another sugya and again tries to know how what he thinks about what he has just learned. After getting used to this a person should then clarify for himself: What is my style of thinking? Although Chazal say that A wise person learns from each person, the fact that we must ask other s opinions is something which needs to be balanced with your own independent thinking. You shouldn t forget about your own opinion when you learn a sugya. Although there is much wisdom to be learned from all wise people, there is an even deeper wisdom than this -- what you learn from yourself. We aren t addressing right now how the soul works; we are speaking about how you think. What do we mean by this?

25 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 24 Superficially, this means for a person to know how he is making himself think. But the true definition of it is for a person to see if his thinking is emanating from within himself. The inner source of a person s thoughts doesn t get revealed all at once. Each time a person taps into it, more and more thoughts are revealed from it. The Vilna Gaon said that this was because ever since Moshe Rabbeinu hit the stone, a person s thinking only comes to him drop by drop. It doesn t all come out at once. So even if you get one of these inner thoughts, this still doesn t mean that you know how you really think. It is only after you see the general style of your first thought, which you need to amass a lot of. Slowly. after experiencing this many times, you will begin to see how you think. When we learn the words of Chazal, we know that it s not enough to just read what it says; we have to learn how they think. The same goes for our own thinking; we need to know how we think. The way a person can know this is by writing down all his chiddushim. After some time, take a look at your notes and learn what you written in-depth; you will see your train of thought from within the words. In this way, what a person learns reveals to a person how he thinks. Sometimes it will happen that you notice contradictions in your way of thinking, and you will need to look into yourself and ask yourself why you didn t think the way you really should have. These are very subtle matters, but it s possible for a person to do: a person has the subtle ability to be able to discern what his root thoughts are. This is how a person reveals his unique potential in learning. Without seeing how you think, it s possible that you will enjoy learning, but you won t know from where your thinking is coming from. Sukkos is called zman simchaseinu (time of our happiness) and it is also chag ha assif (time of gathering). There is a connection between happiness and what we gather. When we gather together all our knowledge, there is certain happiness. By gathering together all our thoughts, we see the details of how we think as well as the general way how we think. Through collecting all this together, we reach our root thoughts we discover how we think. This is how a person builds the power of thought. Building Up The Way You Think, Step-by-Step On a superficial level, building our power of thought is like how we understand simply to build a building, which is by adding brick by brick, until it is complete. But really, building our thoughts is not like that. There actually is a structure that is already there in ourselves, and all we need to do is to remove what s covering it.

26 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 25 To illustrate what we mean, the first and second Beis Hamikdash was built by people, so it was built brick by brick. But the third Beis Hamikdash, we know, will come down from heaven already complete. All we need to do to build the third Beis Hamikdash is by taking away what holds it back, and then it will come down, complete. When a person never uncovers his own way to think, he might know how others think, and he might even work at this step-by-step until he discovers how his friend thinks. But he will just be absorbing information he isn t using his deep thoughts. It is only when a person reveals his true source of thought that he already has hidden within himself that he can know how he thinks. This is also a step-by-step process, but when he arrives at the end, he will see that he is just revealing what s already in him. For this reason, our neshamah is called seichel d kedushah, the holy intellect. It is because each person has his own way to think, and each soul has its own root. Each person receives his special part in learning Torah according to his unique soul root (shoresh haneshamah). How can a person actually reveal it? Each time that a person thinks on his own, more and more details of how he thinks are being added up to give a person a general idea to him about how he thinks. When a person sees how he generally thinks, he will realize that he didn t actually build up his thoughts he has simply revealed it from within himself! Something which is physical and only superficial has to be built up, while a person s source of thinking is an inner material, which isn t built it is rather something you reveal. Thus, when we speak of building our world of thought, we aren t really building it. We are really learning about the way to build it, but the way that the thoughts are actually built is through revealing what s already in us. It is hidden deep within us and we must uncover it.

27 Getting to Know Your Thoughts Learning How To Constantly Think The Soul s Ability To Constantly Think The Gemara states 10 that a Torah scholar is not allowed to walk in an unclean place, because he is always thinking Torah thoughts. Here we see that the essence of a person is to think, and man by essence is always thinking. However, if a person never builds up his world of thoughts, his thoughts wander from place to place and he ends us imagining things. His thoughts are misplaced and there is no structure to them. It is impossible for a person to go without thinking. He is for sure thinking something! The question is if his thoughts are stable or not. When a person doesn t build up his power of thought, his thoughts wander around everywhere. His thoughts are scattered and nothing holds them together. The power of thought, in its essence, is really something constantly taking place. The Ramchal writes 11 that it is the way of Torah scholars to always think as they go. Why is it so important for a person to always think? Just like we can understand that the body needs certain things to survive, so does our inner world need a certain vitality to survive. Our body needs to breathe in and out in order to live, and our inner world of the soul needs an able mind that thinks in order to gain vitality. When we breathe in and out, we do this on a constant basis. We can t stop breathing for even one second. When it comes to our inner world, people are used to putting it to use only at certain times. We aren t feeling enough the spiritual vitality that we need. But when one lives an internal kind of life of the soul, he realizes that he needs constant thought in order to feel alive. The Rambam 12 writes that those who seek wisdom cannot stop learning Torah, because if they were to stop learning, it would feel like death. 10 Berachos 24b 11 Derech Eitz Chaim 12 Hilchos Rotzeiach 7:1

28 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 27 A Soul-Based Life Demands Constant Thought How can a person learn how to have constant thought? Superficially, this is through getting used to it. There is a concept that when a person becomes used to something, it becomes second nature to him. The more a person does something, the more his heart is pulled after it; Chazal indeed say that the heart is pulled after the actions. 13 But this is only the superficial understanding of why we need to always think. The inner reason why we must always think is because we need vitality, and the thoughts of a person are his inner vitality. If a person doesn t ever feel certain vitality from his thoughts, he won t be able to develop constant thought. Even if he tries to develop it, he will just get headaches in trying to do so, and he might even make himself get sick. A person can only have constant thought when he has vitality from thinking. Wisdom sustains its owner. We will try to explain what this means in simple words and make it practical for us. When a person isn t involved with thinking, he usually doesn t feel vitality from thinking. Even if he learns Halacha or Daf Yomi every day, it s only because of a good feeling he gets out of it - either because he feels like he s utilizing his time, or because he knows that he is fulfilling a goal. Although this is commendable, this doesn t show that he is connected to thinking. A person on a higher level than this enjoys thinking, but only because it gives him certain clarity and helps him feel more organized. He gets vitality from having clarity, and that is why he thinks. Yet even this is not really receiving vitality from actual thinking; the person is getting satisfaction from the clarity in his life, which is something else (although commendable). Another kind of person receives vitality from thinking only when he has chiddushim, and he is busy all the time looking for chiddushim. Although this is also a holy kind of vitality, it is not yet deriving vitality from thinking. A person only derives vitality from thinking when he considers it just as important as breathing. He realizes that his soul demands constant thought in order to feel alive. How is a person able to always think? From where does a person draw this power from? It is impossible for a person to only live from his thoughts; such a person is mentally ill. What we want to know is: how can we use our thoughts to guide us (just as the Aron lifted its carriers)? If a person wants to live a wise kind of life, it s not about looking for chiddushim. A wise kind of life is a soul-based kind of life. We are not even referring to the Torah; the Torah is definitely the tool a person uses to get to a chiddush, but it is not what we use necessarily as 13 Sefer HaChinuch

29 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 28 the source to living a soul-based life. Only a life of constant wisdom can be a source for a person to find constant vitality. This doesn t mean a constant feeling of renewal, but rather, a constant vitality. It is when our soul lives based on wisdom, to learn about the wisdom that pertains to one s own unique soul. We don t know why it is that way, but Hashem made us that way. To build our mind, we need to realize the very concept: life is a constant wisdom. True Torah scholars don t just always think because they are used to it, but because they realize that wisdom is life itself. Entering the World Of Thought In order to live a life in which wisdom and thought is a reality, a person has to enter inward at least a little into a world of thought. There has to be somewhat of a disconnection from physicality for this to happen. One who lives only through his body s viewpoint doesn t have a constant source of vitality. In order to live a soul-based life, which is a life of wisdom, a person need to enter the world of the soul -- and be there. This doesn t simply mean to become a thinker ; it is something else entirely. Our teachers (the Ramban, and especially the Baal Shem Tov) taught that a person is found where his thoughts are. This is only true in the case of one who lives in the world of thought and knows what it is in a very real sense. Machshavah thought doesn t just mean that a person thinks. It is to experience the reality of what thought is -- to live there. This is not an intellectual definition. It is a basic, essential concept about the soul. Any person can absorb this point, each according to his own level of understanding. To give an example, we can find people who are so deep in thought that if they are waiting at the bus stop, they don t even realize how late the bus is, because they are so immersed in their thoughts. From a superficial understanding, this sounds like something negative, but upon an inner outlook we can understand that there is an ability in a person to live in his thoughts. When a person lives in the thoughts, he is able to disconnect from his surroundings. To disconnect from one s surroundings doesn t mean to become disconnected in the simple sense. It is to enter into an inner place of thought and to be there. In the world of thought, the bus never comes to pick you up! The bus is in the street, but the person is in his thoughts the bus doesn t even pass by him! In the inner sense, a person who is in his thoughts isn t here on this world! A person who lives in the world of thought simply isn t here on this world. If someone comes to the door and asks him if anyone else is home to speak to, and he answers, No (when really there is someone else home), if you think about it, he is not lying! (I am not

30 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 29 saying you should actually do this, because your children might learn from this that it s permitted to lie, since they don t understand why you didn t say Yes. ) In the inner take on reality, a person who is immersed in thoughts isn t living in his house he s somewhere else. This is only true with someone who is really in the world of thought. This is the depth of the statement, I have seen those who ascend spiritually, but they are few (Sukkah 45b). In a house, there is a first floor and an attic; one person can inhabit the first floor, while another person lives in the attic. In practical terms for us, we have in us a body and a power of thought. Our body is like the first floor of a house, while the attic is our head the place which we use to think. There are indeed few people who live in thought. This doesn t mean simply that a person always thinks. It means that a person is found in a world of thought. Disconnecting From Physicality A person who lives in a world of thought is also able to experience the reality of the feelings. He experiences the emotions of happiness or sadness as a reality, no less then he feels the senses of being cold or hot. There is a famous story in which Rav Chaim Soloveitchik was learning and he accidentally hurt his hands, oblivious to this fact. (I am not getting into if this story is true or not, but even if it isn t, there are many such stories brought in the Gemara where one of the Sages was so immersed in his learning that he wasn t aware that he was suffering physically). From a superficial viewpoint, this appears to be a negative outcome of learning He s learning so much that he loses attention of his surroundings he s brilliant and gifted, but not all there That would be a reaction of a superficial person who sees this. But the inner way to view this is that because Rav Chaim lived in the world of thought, he wasn t living with his body at all; he was totally divested of his body, because he lived in a world of the soul. Why People Like To Get Their Pictures Taken We will give a simple example that brings out this point (of disconnecting from physicality). People often love to get their pictures taken. Whenever people make a family occasion or whenever they go away on trips, people usually take pictures of themselves.

31 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 30 Why do people want pictures of themselves? It is because people want to be remembered and why do people indeed want to be remembered? The deep reason behind this is because people identify themselves as mainly being a body and not a soul. If people would identify themselves as being a soul, why do they need their body to be remembered in a picture? It is only because people place their main value on their body, and thus they want their body to always be remembered When a person identifies himself as his body, he wants his physical appearance to be remembered, because he thinks, This is how I look. But when a person knows that he is his thoughts, he considers his body only to be a garment on top of his essence. When a person is very concerned about his ego, it is really because he identifies himself as being a physical existence. He thinks that his body is who he is; he fears death because it s very scary that his body will disappear after he dies, and he therefore wants very much to be remembered in a picture. But if a person knows what his essence is, he knows that a picture of him is not really his picture, because his physical appearance isn t himself. He knows that he doesn t ever die, because the soul is eternal and does not die. Chazal state that the righteous are called being alive even after they die. This is because great people don t view themselves with a body attitude, but from a soul attitude. A more inner kind of person, when he sees a picture of himself, is able to say, This isn t me. It might be a garment of who I am, but it s not who I am. He differentiates between his physical appearance and his essence. Identifying Who You Really Are Everyone knows he has an essence, but the question is: how do we identify ourselves? We are not having an intellectual discussion here, but how you actually feel toward yourself. Where are you? You have a body, from your head to your toes. Somewhere inside this is where you are. Where do you think you are? Some people will remark to this, What does it make difference where I actually am? My whole body is who I am. But if a person thinks this way, he is too connected to his body. It could even be that he learns Torah all day and does all the mitzvos, but he still identifies himself as a body. Where is your I? Although your I extends to every part of your body, that is only the vitality that extends from your I. It is not your actual I. Where is your actual I? If a person closes his eyes and tries to sense his existence and he cannot feel his existence within his body, it is clear that he doesn t really know of his own existence yet. He might be aware of the fact that he is alive, but he doesn t know his essence. He identifies his body as the source of his life.

32 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 31 But when a person knows how to identify the source of his vitality, he discovers what is called a maayan novea, a flowing wellspring within. The Gemara (Berachos 63b) states that if one wants to become wise, he should study financial matters, because there is no part in Torah that has more wisdom than this; they are called a flowing wellspring. Chazal are teaching us that there is a place in our soul that is called a flowing wellspring, from which our thoughts flow out from. This wisdom is found in in the monetary laws of the Torah, but inside ourselves we can find it also. Where can we find this inner flow -- the place where we can identify our essence? You Are Found In Thoughts The answer is in the thoughts (and also in the heart). All other places in the body are just extensions of one s life-giving energy, but they are not the actual life force in a person. The actual vitality of a person, his very essence, is found in the thoughts (or in the heart). This is essentially what we said before: there are some people who are thinkers, but then there are people who are actually found in their thoughts. A person who is found in the thoughts is not simply because he entered the world of thought, but because he identifies it as his source of vitality. He lives this vitality and thus he lives the thoughts. When one learns Torah lishmah (for its own sake), he merits to become a mighty wellspring (maayan hamisgaber). One who learns Torah for pure motives, even for a short amount of time, connects to this inner source of vitality in himself, and it is there that he identifies himself. Wisdom sustains its owner. He feels his existence in this place of thought in himself. If a person doesn t feel that it is his mind or heart which is where he exists, he has never reached his essence yet. He will not either be able to reach his potential in learning. It s possible for a person to learn a lot of Torah, but he has never yet reached his unique potential in learning. Everyone has a unique share in learning from Hashem. It is there where a person can feel his existence. In the beginning of this chapter, we mentioned that the Ramchal writes that it is the way of wise scholars to constantly think wherever they go. This is because they have found their inner source of thoughts which flows out from their essence. This doesn t come from straining the mind to concentrate very hard. It comes from the source of thought in a person his very essence.

33 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 32 To illustrate, if a person is dead, he still exists, but he is dead. When a person isn t connected to his inner source of thought, he still exists, but it is as if he is dead. He isn t connected to himself. To live in a world of thought means that one lives in a place in which he is connected to his actual self. The Torah Of Truth Wisdom is the Torah of truth planted within us. The Torah is called a Torah of truth as opposed to not being a Torah of truth. What does that mean? The truth is really what sustains anything to exist. Falsity cannot sustain anything it is a lie, so it cannot give vitality to anything.truth is essentially a continuation of something, while falsity is when something begins from nowhere. When a person has falsity in his soul, he is always making new beginnings with no solid basis to rely upon. He produces ideas which don t come from his essence. When a person never reaches his essence, he is really living a lie. When a person lies to himself, he isn t connected to his actual self and creates a new I that isn t who he is. This cannot be a source of vitality to him. If a person doesn t reach the truth of who he really is, he will never have the inner source of thought from which his true wisdom is found in he will never reach Toras Emes, the Torah of truth. We do not mean that if he never reaches it, he is a liar. We are referring to something else: someone who does not reach the truth of himself. This can be, for example, when a person learns someone else s share in Torah -- and not his own. Such a person doesn t connect to his own source of thought he is living something else other than who he is, and he is just creating new ideas that are not true to who he is. Chazal 14 say that Every day, a person should consider the Torah as precious as on the day he received it at Har Sinai. The depth of this is that each person needs to learn his unique part of the Torah that is specially meant for him; if Reuven learns Shimon s part of Torah, he isn t connected to the wisdom he could be having. Even if he learns a lot, in his soul he is living a lie, and as a result he doesn t derive vitality from such knowledge. Thus, he has to always connect to his part of the Torah -- which he received at Har Sinai. 14 Yalkut Shimeoni, Devarim 938.

34 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 33 Searching For The Truth A person must seek the truth if he wants to be connected to his inner flow of thought and to live a life of wisdom. Sometimes a person needs to endure a lot of physical suffering for this, but the proper way we can all handle is to live a truthful kind of life. The Torah gives a commandment to avoid lies 15. A person needs to always look for what is the absolute truth. If you look for the real truth in something, you will be able to reach your inner source of thought from that. Searching for the truth doesn t just mean to look for the truth it means that you look for the truth which is meant for you. For example, when a person is learning and he comes up with a certain sevarah, and he wants to know if it is correct or not it is not enough to ask someone else what he thinks. Even if you get someone else s approval of what you have come up with, you need to still ask yourself if it s really the truth. When you keep searching for the truth the absolute truth eventually you will find your inner source of thought. There are other ways to reach the truth, such as physical suffering or absolute dedication to learning the Torah. But there is a more inner way to reach the truth by always searching for the absolute truth. For this, a person must be very determined to find the truth it is not about looking for every opinion out there, nor is it about finding out always how to act (although these two things are necessary). It is to find what the truth is in any point to turn a matter over again and again and question if it s really the absolute truth. We are not talking about guessing right when you re learning. It can happen also that a person guesses correctly, but that is not the depth of this concept. Don t Look For Leniencies This is a very refined and subtle part of our soul the power to search for the truth. To illustrate this, we will give some examples from life to explain what it is. People often ask if it is permissible to lie in certain situations, but just because it may be permissible doesn t mean it s the truth. It might not be a lie, but it s still not the truth. It is told about Rav Nosson Tzvi Finkel (the Mirrer Rosh Yeshiva zt l) that when he had to sign on certain government papers to finalize a new yeshiva building, he refused to sign it, because he could not get himself to say that certain rooms were for children and that the beis 15 Shemos 23: 7

35 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 34 midrash was really a gym. Although he could have found permission according to Halacha to write it anyway, he couldn t write it, because it was a deviation from the truth. When he refused to sign it, the people involved said to him, But everyone else does it. It s the only for us to get a grant from the government. He replied, Yeshivos can be based on this, but Torah cannot. There is definitely a lot of Torah in today s times, but there isn t that much truth. One time I dealt with someone who lied to me. I wasn t aware that he lied to me at first, and after some time, I found out that he had lied to me. I asked him, Why did you lie to me? He told me, I lied to you l sheim shomayim (for the sake of Heaven). I said to him, For the sake of Heaven, I don t believe you. Maybe you won t go to Gehinnom for lying to me, but I m never believing you again for anything, because you will probably just lie to me again for the sake of Heaven. It s not an issue of if it s permitted or not. It is simple that if it s a lie, it s not permitted. But even if it s entirely permissible, it still goes against the truth. He speaks truth in his heart. There is a deep place in the soul which is the total truth; it is hidden deep down in the soul. If a person doesn t experience such a place in his soul, he will not able to derive vitality from the world of thought and wisdom. Many people wonder why they aren t successful at trying to enter the world of thought. There can be many reasons for this, but along the lines of our discussion here, it is because people aren t truthful enough. If we want to arrive at the truth, we need to purify ourselves and work on acquiring the truth and only the truth. Sometimes a person can start entering the truth only to become crooked a little bit afterwards. We can hear someone beginning to say something truthful, and then the next thing he says is something twisted. This is because the person hasn t really worked to purify himself; even when he gets to the truth in something, it comes out in a crooked way. There are people who can say very impressive Chiddushei Torah, but they aren t true. By contrast, there are those who just learn the simple meaning of a sugya, and even though it s not a chiddush, it is the truth; even when they do come up with a chiddush, the point is not the chiddush the point is that their understanding is the true understanding.

36 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 35 Purifying The Thoughts Let us now make this more practical. The power of constant thought is that a person is able to look for the truth in his thoughts, and examine if what he is thinking is true or not. (Obviously, one should not do this with every thought, but we are just saying the root point). Ever since Adam sinned by eating from the Eitz hada as, everything in the world became a mixture of true and false. The only question is how much truth there is in something and how much falsity there is in something. Besides for the holy Torah, which is entirely true, everything else we know of is a mixture of true and false. It is our job to sift out the lies and find the truth in something. How can we do this? We need to get used to constant thought. There are two steps to this. The first step is to start checking our thoughts. When a person thinks of a thought whether it is a thought that comes to him in learning Torah, or a thought about anything about that is meaningful in life -- he should try to sift out something from the thought that doesn t seem true. A person should keep sifting out his thoughts, and slowly but surely, he will be able to arrive at the truth in something. From a superficial understanding, this seems that a person needs to think more and wonder, Is this okay according to everybody? But it s really more than this. It is an inner test that takes place inside one s self, a self-examination to try and see what the truth is. Just like a shochet (butcher) checks a knife to see if there is nick in it, so too when it comes to our mind we have to feel if something sounds right or not. Even after we get used to checking our thoughts we will still have a tendency to be swayed toward things that aren t true, so we need to be concerned that this as well needs to go away. Thinking Something Over Again and Again This kind of a life is what the Ramchal describes that it is the way of Torah scholars to always be thinking. What are they always thinking about? Constant thought does not mean that one learns 18 chapters of Mishnayos, and then he learns two chapters of sefer Shemiras Halashon, and then he learns Gemara for a set time every day. This is all wonderful, but this has nothing to do with constant thought. To have constant thought means to think about the same thought - again and again. The Ramchal compares this to a coal; just like the more you blow on a coal the more embers you create from it which weren t there before, the more a person thinks into the Torah, the more he brings out what is behind each word.

37 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 36 This brings out another point to what we are saying. It is not enough to go from one thought to another; this will not get a person to arrive at inner wisdom. We don t mean to say that a person should spend his entire life learning only one masechta; we just mean that a person should get used to thinking about the same thing, again and again. When you think about the same thing again and again, what do you think about? This consists of two steps. One part of it is to simply think about it, again and again. These were the words of the Ramchal, that the Torah is like a coal which the more you blow upon it with your thoughts, the more you bring out the wisdom in it. The second part of it which is the point that we are dealing with right now is to constantly think about it and as a result, to come to purify the thought. There are people who learn a lot, but their learning doesn t open up their soul. The real way to learn Torah is to always look for the truth in everything you learn. The more you try to get the truth, the more you reveal your soul in it, and you can keep doing this until you get to the innermost point in your soul. This revelation usually does not happen right away. It can happen that is comes suddenly to a person, but generally speaking, it only comes the more and more a person learns how purifies the thoughts. The Source Of Your Inner Thoughts The generic term for what we have been describing in this chapter is a power of constant thought, but the depth of it is to think about the same thing again and again. This gets a person to reveal his own unique source of thought, which is also the revelation of one s very self his true I. What is the truth for one person isn t always the truth for another person. Beis Hillel and Beis Shamai always had opposing views, yet both of them are correct Their words and their words are the words of the living G-d. They each arrived at their own truth, which was not the truth for the other. When a person purifies his thoughts through getting down to the truth, he gains in two ways: first of all, he is more accurate, and secondly, he reveals the truth that is for him and he begins to reveal his true self. If a person just reads something in the Torah simply and doesn t think into it, he is probably not learning what s meant for him. The Torah is always true, but a person needs to find his unique share in the Torah.

38 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 37 Two people can learn the same sugya and arrive at the same exact conclusion, but one of them got there in a superficial way, and the other got there based on his own inner thoughts; he got there from within his own self, and not from any external factor. All of this is a way to get to one s innermost point in his soul. What happens when a person gets to that point? There, everything gets turned around. When a person gets to the innermost point, the inner thoughts will come to him naturally without any strain. These are the words of Reb Meir that one becomes like a maayan hanovea a flowing wellspring. Chazal say that when a person begins to learns Torah, it is very difficult. It feels like using a rope to pull buckets of water out of a pit. But at a certain point a person can merit that the water rises up to meet him, just like by Yaakov Avinu.

39 Getting to Know Your Thoughts Applying Your Thoughts To Learning Torah Living A Thinking Kind Of Life In the previous chapters we have said that to live in a world of thought doesn t mean that we have to simply learn how to think, but that we need to live with thought. From there we can reach our inner source of thought, which our thoughts flow out from. We will continue, with the help of Hashem, and explain more parts to this discussion. When a person learns Gemara, there are two parts to his learning. One is what he learns, and the other part is what he thinks. What is the difference? What a person learns are the sefarim that he learns. When he gets up from the sefer -- that is what he is thinking. This is something else. What is he thinking as he goes away from his sefer? That is the question. If a person only learns -- but he doesn t think -- of him Chazal say, The Torah is like torn pieces to him. When he is in front of the Gemara, he is only thinking because he is seeing the words, but when he isn t in front of his Gemara and he doesn t see the words, his thoughts wander around. Such a person learns sometimes, and sometimes not. But the truth is that a person s learning shouldn t be limited to the time he is in learning in front of his Gemara. A person should always be thinking. We will begin with the more simple way of how one can do this. First we will learn about how one can think more while he is in front of his Gemara, and then we will learn how to think even when we are not in front of the Gemara. Part One: Diyuk Knowing How To Read Gemara When a person is learning, he has to read the Gemara and know exactly what he is reading. If he isn t exactly sure what he is reading, he will lack an understanding of the material. If a child sits down to read a Gemara, he cannot read it because he can t pronounce the letters. Since he can t read the words, he cannot understand it either as a result. But even a grown, mature person who knows how to read a Gemara often just reads the Gemara and he doesn t know how to make a diyuk (to infer). Diyuk is not the same thing as reading the Gemara; it is more than reading, and it is very important. How can a person do this? First, a person must read the Gemara slowly. He must pay attention to the words, and then he must repeat them a few times. Then, he should begin to

40 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 39 pay attention to each word and each letter, and surely every new Halacha that he comes across within the Gemara. He will see that the smallest change in even a letter can turn around the whole meaning of a word. The more a person gets used to thinking into each word he learns, the more he will notice things that the simple eye never saw. This is the first part of one s learning, which is really the basis of all our words here: to read the Gemara and examine each thing you learn about, and especially to infer what the words of Chazal and the Rishonim are. (When reading words of Acharonim, usually less diyuk is required). Diyuk requires a slow reading of the Gemara, as well as to review it over and over again. Slowly as a person does this, he will begin to notice things he never noticed before. Part Two: Cheshbon Thinking In Learning The second part of learning is cheshbon to think about what one has learned. This can be done while one is in front of his Gemara but it doesn t have to be. Even after a person has closed his Gemara and he is walking home, he is able to make a cheshbon of what he has just learned. When a person makes a cheshbon of what he learned, he will be able to uncover two things: either he will realize that he didn t understand it the first time, or he will uncover contradictions and questions which were not dealt with by the commentaries. It is wellknown that Reb Akiva Eiger used this method, cheshbon, and from this he was able to uncover many great questions. (However, one should know that it is impossible for a person to think into all the details.) We will give a simple example from the world to explain what we mean with cheshbon. Let s say Reuven tells Shimon that at 2:00 AM he was in a certain place and did something there, and that at 2:45 he was in another place and did something else. If Shimon makes a quick calculation he will see that it doesn t make sense, because the time distance between the two places doesn t allow it. Shimon tells Reuven, That s impossible. Reuven, when he hears this, realizes his mistake and says, Oh, I guess I just didn t pay attention to what I was saying. Really, it wasn t 2:45, but at 3:15. Shimon was able to catch Reuven s mistake, but not all people would notice such a thing. People hear stories all the time that are full of contradictions, and they don t pay attention to this. We have chosen this example before we have explained what it means to make a cheshbon in the sugya, because when a person learns a sugya it is obvious that he has to make a cheshbon, but when it comes to practical daily life people don t make use of their cheshbon

41 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 40 enough. Many times if you add up all the information in the same newspaper you will find contradicting facts. A person can make a cheshbon of the sugya both when he is in front of the Gemara and when he is away from the Gemara. This is the second part of learning cheshbon. Part Three: Sevarah Using Your Logic The third part of learning is sevarah the logic in the sugya. There are people who learn a lot, and they think that logic means the first thoughts (hashkafah rishonah) that enters their mind when they begin to learn the sugya. This is erroneous. Sevarah/logic is that a person has to try to come up with at least two possible reasons to explain something he learns. Upon doing this, a person might discover that one of the possibilities can t be true, either because it argues with the Halacha contained in the Gemara, or because it goes against the cheshbon he made. But the point is that a person should always come up with at least two possibilities to explain something (Sometimes a person can come up with three, four, five or even more possibilities). Think if it first makes sense, and then see if it is fitting in to what the Gemara is saying, and if it fits into the cheshbon you have made on the sugya. (This is not referring to the two dinim method of the school of Brisk, in which a person has to compare and to differentiate between two different concepts and why they are different. It is a more preliminary stage, in which a person has to come up with two different reasons to explain one concept). Sometimes a person can find the diyuk from the sevarah, and sometimes a person finds the sevarah from the diyuk; either a person is able to read the Gemara better because of the logic he has come up with, or the other way around: he sees what the logic is because he has read the Gemara properly. In the first way, a person puts his logic into the words, and in the second way, he deduces his logic from the words. The second way is more reliable, because in the first way, the person might force his logic into what the words mean, which isn t always an accurate reading of the Gemara. But the second way is more truthful, because you can t force out a logic from the words -- either the logic is coming from the meaning of the words, or it s not. So a person should always come up with two different possibilities that make sense, and when a person does this he will see as he learns a sugya that each of the Rishonim holds like one way or the other way. As a person gets used to this, he will see that his entire way of thinking will change.

42 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 41 Thinking Into The Opposite Included in this is that when you learn something, think of the opposite logic of it (tzad hafoch). When you have the sevarah, which is the straight logic in the sugya -- now think of what the opposite of the sevarah would be (When a person does this, he is really using the power of Da as, which we will discuss later). In order to really know something, you have to know what the opposite of it means also. If you don t understand the other side of the coin, then you don t really understand what you re learning about either. So when you come up with a sevarah, now think: what is the opposite of that? Sometimes it seems that there is no opposite way here to think, but anyone who is used to learning in-depth knows that there is always an opposite to everything. Something that reflects this concept is how Reb Meir would find forty-nine ways to purify something and forty-nine ways to say how it s impure. Even if the opposite logic isn t true for practical reasons, there still exists an opposite logic. We don t mean to come up with ludicrous ideas that don t make any sense; just try to think of the opposite of the facts when you learn something. In addition to this, a person has to think: what chiddush (novelty) is contained over here? Why isn t the original understanding correct, and what is the reason for the chiddush? After a person understands the chiddush he should have two ways how to explain the chiddush. This is otherwise known as the power of Da as in a person to understand something, based on knowing the opposite of the concept. A person uses his Da as to give structure to a concept based on two opposing ways how to build it. It is also known as panim b achor (see Chapter Eleven). This is the depth behind the statement of our Sages that the school of Hilel merited to be accepted over the ruling of the school of Shamai, because the school of Hilel would always quote the words of Shamai first before stating their own ruling. Hilel would first try to understand what the opposite of his thinking was, and thus his understanding was greater and more complete. Whatever you learn, think what was before and after the chiddush. Now that you have realized what the chiddush is, try to think of the opposite of it. This applies especially when you encounter an argument in the Gemara; try to understand each view in the disagreement. When you get used to thinking into the opposite of what makes sense to you, you will see that you even understand your own logic better now. One time a chassid came to the Kotzker Rebbe and asked, What am I supposed to think about all the time?

43 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 42 The Kotzker asked him, When you get up in the morning, what do you do first eat or daven? The chassid said, First I daven and then I eat. The Kotzker replied, Think why you don t do otherwise. Of course, we know it is prohibited to eat before davening, but if someone wants to live a more inner kind of life, he tries to understand the opposite of what is true. One has to be careful with this and not get too confused. But someone who is a bar Da as (capable of understanding) knows that the point here is not to change how you act, but just to learn how to think more, when you think about the opposite. For example, I came here now to say a shiur. I have to think: Maybe I shouldn t have come? I myself have to think why I should have come and then why I shouldn t have. Of course, this doesn t have to make me decide not to come! It is just that at first, I need to think about the other side of the coin. Chiluk Taking Apart Details Another part of this is chiluk -- to take apart the details of a sugya, to see its peratim (details). Think of all the possibilities. Take apart the details of each thing you learn, and you will uncover a fantastic wisdom in each thing you learn. For example, if you hear a story about how Reuven went somewhere and did something, think into the details that are in the story. You will discover many details when you think into the story. Usually when a person just hears the story in a generic way, he doesn t think about the details that went on in the story. This is why sometimes you can ask a person about a story he once heard but he won t even remember that he heard it. To explain this a bit more, usually when a person reviews a shiur on a tape, he understands it better than when he heard it the first time. Why? There are many reasons for this, but the primary reason is because the first time a person hears something, he s digesting the information and he hasn t thought into it yet. Because of this, a person misses details the first time he heard the shiur, since he is busy digesting the information. When he reviews it a second time he can catch the details he missed, because now he is thinking into it and isn t so busy trying to digest it like the first time.

44 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 43 When a person learns, he should think: How many details are contained here? After a person gets used to this he will see that that there are many details in the sugya which he never noticed before. For example, we know that water is cold and moist. Think: is it possible to have water which is cold but not moist? Is it the cold in the water that makes it moist, or is the moisture in water independent of the coldness? We can give thousands of examples, but the point is to notice details; then, see how all the details connect. In this way you will be able to reveal a lot that you never paid attention to before. Let s say you are learning Mishnayos. Read the Mishnah, and then pay attention to each word. Write down for yourself all the details. You will immediately realize many details you missed the first time, and you will see if these details are not just on the side, but the whole reason of the Halacha! You will see that the Halacha contained in the Mishnah is comprised of a few details which are like pieces of a puzzle, and that if one of them is missing it changes around the Halacha. To give an even more detailed example of this, a person learns the first Mishna in Bava Metzia Shnayim Ochazin B tallis, Two people that are holding a garment must split it. A person can take apart the details and think: How are they holding it? Will the Halacha be different if they are holding it in a different place? What about if it s three people holding it, instead of two? Of course, you will not get all the details right away; you need to go through the entire Gemara and you will then discover all the details contained in the Mishnah. But the point is to pay attention to details even as you learn a Mishnah. Chochmah and Binah There are two abilities in our mind: Chochmah (Wisdom) and Binah (Contemplation). Chochmah is to see the klal the general whole of something. Binah is to contemplate each prat to see the details. These two abilities are dependent on each other. If a person would only have Chochmah, he would have a general idea of something but he has nothing to think about. A person therefore also needs to have Binah, which can make a person uncover countless details. The Torah is longer than the land and wider than the sea ; the Torah has general information, such as the Beraisa of Rabbi Yishmael (which explains the logic of the Torah and Chazal), as well as countless details.

45 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 44 When a person learns and uncovers details, he begins to think: What would be the case if one of these details wouldn t be here? What would happen if the details change? Thinking like this will make a person discover an endless wisdom in the Torah. The more a person sees details and combines them together, the more he will see the vast and wide wisdom of the Torah. A person who learns in this way the words of all our commentaries will reach an endless flow of thought from within himself. Before, we spoke of how to reach the inner flow of thought. Now we have revealed another way to reach this inner flow. Chazal say that there are two kinds of learning: One who is Sinai (a reference to Sinai, where we received the Torah), and one who uproots mountains and crushes them. What is the difference? When a person uses Chochmah, he is aware of all the knowledge and information of a sugya; that is why he is called Sinai. When a person uses his Binah, he takes apart each detail of a sugya. He is like the one who uproots mountains and crushes them, because he is always taking apart the details. Two Superficial Methods To Help One Think More Now we will return to our original point and understand it better. Until now we have actually said things that are simple and nothing new to anyone who is used to learning Torah in-depth. But all of this really serves an introduction to our topic, which is living in a world of thought. How can a person always live in a world of thought? People complain when they hear that they need to live in a world of thought: I tried to make myself think, but all this thinking is making my head hurt! What am I supposed to think about all the time?! There are different methods that people have in order to help themselves think more, and they are superficial methods. We will mention them and see how it is superficial. One method people have is to review word-by-word. If a person learned 18 chapters of Mishnayos, he can try to get to know it all by heart, word for word. This can give a person a quantity of thoughts to keep himself occupied with. The point of this is to get a person to review, either verbally or mentally, the words he has learned. That is one method. Another way is to simply read and review, again and again, verbally or mentally, the content of what one has learned; there is no emphasis here on memorizing each word, unlike in the first way. This is called shinun to repeat the Gemara s shakla v tarya (back-and-forth discussions).

46 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 45 Both of these methods make a person concentrate, and it is possible for a person to get used to this and have an easier time with it. But the disadvantage to both of these methods is that they don t really get a person to think. The first way, memorizing Mishnayos by heart and then repeating them word for word, doesn t get a person to think at all. There are children who also can memorize Mishnayos yet they don t have any understanding of what they are saying. It is more like a segulah (a charm) to enlighten one s soul, and it is definitely good for the soul, but it won t help for understanding. A person will just end up knowing what the words are and that s it. The second way, which is to review the general content, can make a person think a little, because a person needs to make use of his mind when he goes over the discussions in the Gemara. The Inner Method To Think More: Preparing Questions For Yourself There is a more inner solution mentioned in the works of our wise Sages: that a person continues to think about the sugya even after he gets up from the Gemara. A person can prepare a question for himself to think about even when he s not in front of his Gemara, and then think into it when he s on the go. We mean for a person to prepare an intriguing kind of question to think about when he is walking home. It can be more than one question. It is recommended to prepare for yourself questions rather than to think of a sevarah, because questions make you think much more than a sevarah alone (unless a person has an affinity toward sevarah). Usually, questions make you think much more than when you think of a sevarah. This gets a person used to always thinking with depth, wherever he is. A person should keep thinking about the sugya even when he s not in front of his Gemara and keep taking apart all the details. A person who gets used to this will discover that many times as he is walking in the street, he will suddenly come up with answers to his questions. He might want to take out a pen and paper and quickly write down his answer and use the pole as a surface to write on. (Passerby might think this looks strange, but don t worry there are people who do a lot of stranger things than this.) It is possible for a person to live this way! Getting Used To Taking Apart Information When a person gets used to taking apart information to uncover the details, he will be able to see that nothing is as simple as it would appear. Five lines of Gemara which appear to

47 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 46 be a no-brainer to the undeveloped mind are viewed differently by someone who knows how to take apart details; he sees how it s not so simple. Taking apart details makes our mind work. If someone is used to this, his whole life is a thinking kind of life. Of course, there can always be disadvantages to such an inner kind of life, but right now we are talking about what is to be gained from this. It helps build the power of thought in a person. In this way a person is able to take a small piece of information and split it up into countless details. Such a kind of life is like a paradise on this world! A person who has a thinking kind of life like this is cut off from materialism; he should be careful not to become so disconnected from this world. But we are saying that there is a tremendous gain for one to be cut off from this physical world (not to go overboard of course, but just to a certain extent to be cut off from this world). Even in the physical world we can see how taking things apart are useful. When you re cleaning up the house and your spouse is thinking of throwing some things out, you might discover that although your broken cassette player should be discarded, you might enjoy first taking it apart just to see how it works inside. There are people who love to take things apart and see what s going on the inside of something, and then they put it back together afterwards. This does not come from a destructive nature, but from a desire to see details. Just like there can be a nature to take apart things in the physical world, so can a person develop a nature in which he takes apart a thought. When a person takes apart a thought, he will even be able to take apart physical things and see the thought that goes into it. There is nothing that can t be taken apart. Such a life is a life of bliss, because like this a person always has what to think about, and nothing of this physical world seems more interesting than what he s thinking about right now. Most people are pulled after materialistic desires, not just because they are materialistic, but because they are empty from thought. There is a famous statement of Chazal, The pit is empty and it has no water there is no water (Torah) in it, but there are snakes and scorpions in it. When a person is empty from thought, lusts overtake him. 16 When a person always thinks not because he is forced to do so, but because he has opened himself up his evil passions decrease a lot, because he has an inner world for himself. He always has an inner source of thought. 16 Rambam, Hilchos Issurei Biah, perek 16

48 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 47 Reviewing Verbally Or Mentally There is another way how a person can live in a world of thought. We mentioned it in the previous chapter and now we will elaborate on it. The Ramchal writes 17 that the Torah is like a fiery coal, and that the more you think into it, the more you blow on the coal and ignite it more. What this means for us is that when you think into the Torah, you reveal hidden meanings in its words and bring them out to their potential, just like when you bring forth the fire from a coal by blowing on it. There are two ways to bring out a thought in Torah to its potential. One way we have already spoken about, which is to get used to constant thought. This can be done either verbally or mentally. There is a disadvantage to reviewing verbally, because there is less thinking involved. But when a person reviews something mentally, he thinks into it. Thinking into something reveals a thought to its potential; it s like blowing on a coal that has a tiny flame more and more until a large flame is produced. When you think into things, you will see that what you originally thought was simple and small is actually much more than that. To illustrate, the Chazon Ish wrote that he doesn t know of anything small and simple, because everything is big to him. This was not simply because he knew how to attribute importance to something small (which is also true); it is because everything can be enlarged into a more complex thought. Like this, a person uncovers the depth behind information, in addition to his collected knowledge. The Second Inner Method: Reviewing Calmly There is a second method to arrive at constant thought, and it is more subtle. This is not from contemplating something, but from reviewing. When a person reads the Gemara, either verbally or mentally, he isn t thinking into it yet. He might come up with questions and answers as he is learning by reviewing it, and this is the way of learning; There is no Beis Midrash that does not have a chiddush. This kind of reviewing is simple; the person reviews by repeating the words he has learned, and by going over them, he remembers them better and better each time. The more you go over a thought, the better you remember it. There is an ability in the mind to protect one s thoughts and remember them, and this is done the more a person thinks about it. 17 Derech Eretz Chaim

49 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 48 But there is a deeper way to review. Usually when a person reviews simply for the sake of review, he is only using an outer kind of knowledge and applying it to his reviewing. But a person has in the innermost part of his soul a subtle ability to run and retreat back and forth (rotzoi v shov). This is when a person reviews in a very calm manner; it gives the soul a new flow of thought. For example, a person can take a short statement of Chazal, even a famous one, and go over it again and again, in a calm and quiet manner. The resulting enthusiasm from this can give a person a new kind of mind. It is better to verbalize this, but you don t have to say it out loud. It s good for you to hear your own voice as you say it, but others don t have to hear your voice! This is like by Channah, of whom it is written, Only her lips moved, but her voice was not heard. When a person reaches an inner silence, and from reaching this place in himself he reviews a statement of Chazal in a calm and relaxed manner not a fiery kind of enthusiasm, but more like a cool and collected state he reaches an inner flow of thought. This is another way how a person can live in a world of thought. This is unlike the first method we spoke about before; the previous method was about building our mind, while this method taps into the source our mind; this is what is written, Wisdom is found in nothingness. This is for one to simply become connected to Hashem, and from there a person can develop his mind. This is a more inner way to develop our mind: to constantly review, in a calm and relaxed manner, the words of Chazal. This brings a person to reach a constant inner flow of thought. One who lives like this has an inner strength in his mind. He is able to reach a constant flow of thought from his inner silence, and when he has brought his thoughts to their potential he is able to return to a silence. He knows how to keep doing this, and in this way he experiences a constant vitality in his life, because he lives a life of constant thought and contemplation

50 Getting to Know Your Thoughts Two Stages of Understanding Intellect & Picture The Faculties of the Mind To continue our discussion about the thoughts, we will give a basic introduction the makeup of the human mind, as described by Chazal and our sefarim hakedoshim. The Gemara 18 describes the physical makeup of the brain. The Ramban 19 writes that there are four compartments within the brain/mind: machshavah (thought), zoicher (memory), binah (contemplation) and da as (knowledge). Generally speaking, the mind is divided into three parts: Chochmah, Binah and Da as. These three functions of the mind are written explicitly in the Torah concerning Betzalel, when he made the Mishkan (Shemos 31:3), And I will fill him with a G-dly spirit, with wisdom, understanding and knowledge. That is the general description of the mind. To be even more specific, the Vilna Gaon 20 writes of seventy forces that describe more clearly the mind. He writes that there are actually five different parts to our thoughts: imagination (medameh), combining information (markiv), protecting the information (shomer), thinking (choishev) and memory (zoicher). How does a person s thinking process work? Your imagination first pictures a concept. This information then gets combined together. Then it gets retained ( shoimer ), and then it is thought about. Finally it is remembered ( zoicher ). These are the five forces of the mind that make up the thinking process. In addition to the actual thinking process, there are more factors that affect how one thinks. There are five senses which are part of the brain, and there are also thirty-two pathways of wisdom which come from the brain. In addition, to this, there are also seven pipes which come from the brain. 21 This is the general description of the mind and its abilities, brought in the words of our sefarim hakedoshim. There are many more details, but we have said what the roots are. The Difference Between Thought and Imagination 18 Chullin 45a 19 Derush HaChasunah, printed in Kisvei HaRamban. 20 Gra on Yeshayahu 11:1 21Raavad to Sefer Yetzirah.

51 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 50 Let us return to the purpose of this discussion. The Vilna Gaon writes that there are five parts to the thinking process: medameh/imagination, markiv/combining the information, shoimer/protecting the information, machshavah/thought, and zoicher/memory. Generally speaking, these five parts of our mind are split up into two general parts: our thoughts and our imagination. What is the difference between our real thoughts and what we imagine? That is what we must try to understand. When a person learns, there are two possibilities how he understands something: either through his thoughts, which are coming from his intellect, or by picturing the information, which stems from the imagination. We will first speak about this in a simple way, and then we will deepen the discussion. When a person learns, he reads letters. For example, when he reads the word Beraishis, he sees a word combined of six letters. He uses his intellect to understand that Beraishis means the beginning of creation. How does one remember this? Does he remember what it means because he remembers the letters, or does he remember the letters by remembering what it means? What causes one to remember something? Sometimes a person doesn t understand what he reads and thus he only remembers the letters of the words. For example, a child can be tested on Mishnayos by heart and repeat it word for word, even though he never learned it. He doesn t understand its content and only knows the words. How is he able to remember it? He obviously doesn t remember it based on his intellect, because he doesn t understand it. He only remembers it based on a certain picture he has formed in his head. So we can see that there are two ways to remember something either through really remembering it, or though protecting the information. They are not the same thing. A person uses his memory for something he understood, and a person uses his power to retain the information on something he pictured/imagined. We are used to thinking that imagination is only when we have a dream at night, or in a more extreme case, to daydream. Actually, all of us daydream, and the only question is how much. But on a more subtle understanding, imagination is also a way we perceive something. This is when we picture something. Without being able to picture something we wouldn t be able to imagine. In our soul, there are two ways how we perceive something: either through intellectualizing it or picturing it.

52 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 51 To give an example of this, Chazal 22 give two meanings for the term beautiful woman. One meaning given is that she behaves beautifully, and the other meaning is that she is physically beautiful. The first meaning is through the lens of intellect, while the second meaning is through the lens of picture/imagination. Another example is evil desires. All evil desires that a person has comes from his ability to picture something, and they do not come from one s intellect. The intellect of a person can t have a desire. Chazal say, The eye sees, the heart desires, and the active tools in the body completes the act. Sin begins with the eyes power of sight. What does the eye see? If the eyes would see intellectual information, the heart and the rest of the body would not follow suit. The eye sees a certain image and it remembers the image, with no intellectual information involved. The intellect sees only wisdom, while the eyes see a picture. The real power of memory in a person is only what he has seen with his thoughts and intellect; the Chovos HaLevovos calls this the eyes of the intellect. However, sometimes a person sees something through his intellect and is able to remember it based on the ability to picture it, and sometimes what a person sees with his physical eyes can be remembered through his intellect. Beginning To Grasp Information Based On Intellect Or Picture Whatever a person perceives, there are always one of these two ways how he perceives it: either though his imagination (which the mind is able to protect and hold on to), or through his thoughts (which are stored through one s memory). When a person sees something, it enters his mind as a picture. If a person just visualizes what he saw and thinks that this is the essence of what he is seeing, he is thinking about it through his imagination; he isn t really thinking about the actual essence of what he sees, just how it appears. But when a person uses his real power of thought, he sees something in front of it in an intellectual way; he sees information here. This brings out the difference between a Torah scholar and an ignoramus. A Torah scholar views through his eyes based on his intellect; what he sees in front of him is perceived through his actual thoughts. An ignoramus only sees something as it is, a picture; no intellect is involved in his perception. This is the question we must ask ourselves: how do we first grasp information through intellectualizing it, or through picturing it? 22 Yalkut Shimeoni, Bamidbar 738.

53 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 52 If a person begins to grasp information by first picturing it, on one hand he receives information, but on the other hand, he is understanding it only superficially. But if a person first understands something using his intellect, he begins to understand it, slowly. Thought doesn t come so fast; ever since Adam sinned, a thought only comes slowly. But when the thought is understood, it is the real, deep perception of something There are people who grasp things very quickly, but their understanding is superficial. By contrast, there are people who need more time to grasp something, but when they finally understand it, they have the inner perception. So there are two inner forces in our understanding of anything we see: intellectualizing the information, or picturing the information. The question is, in our own learning, which of them do we use to learn with first? When a person is reading a possuk in Chumash, or a Mishnah or a Gemara, is he reading it based on his intellect and then picturing it or he is first picturing the information and only afterwards thinking about it? (Of course, it is possible that a person can go from his intellect to come to picture something, and he can also arrive at the intellectual understanding of it by picturing it.) We are not speaking about someone who doesn t understand at all what he reads. We are speaking about someone who can understand; when he first learns it, how does he grasp it through the power of intellect, or the power of picture? It is a very deep question that one has to ask himself, and there is a very big difference between the two kinds of perception. A child tends to follow his imagination; a child doesn t naturally use his power of thought. The power of thought in a person is more subtle, while imagination is a more base kind of power. When a person is young and immature, he tends to be more materialistic, so he is closer to imagination than to thought. People are therefore naturally inclined to follow the understanding of their imagination their ability to picture something rather than to listen to their thoughts. We can see this clearly from children. A child loves pictures. He wants something as soon as he sees it in front of him; he doesn t think into what s behind it, he just sees the picture in front of him and wants it. People start out in their life using their imagination to understand something, and they do not naturally follow the intellect. What happens when a person gets older and he begins to learn Torah and enter the world of the intellect? Does he only know how to picture something in his mind, or does he ever think into what he sees? We are not talking about someone who doesn t learn and never thinks deeply. We are speaking about who does learn in-depth; each to his own. In the beginning of the winter season in yeshiva, someone sits down to learn a masechta. Is he learning it through his intellect or though picturing it?

54 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 53 To give an example, let s say a yeshiva bochur is sitting and learning, and sometimes he learns by himself and listens to a recorded shiur. When he listens to the shiur, he is just listening, but he isn t learning. When he is learning, he is reading the Gemara. When he reads the Gemara, he sees letters in front of him, but when he hears a shiur, he doesn t see anything in front of him; he is just receiving thoughts. The question he can ask himself is: What do I find easier to read the Gemara (which involves the imagination, since you need to see the letters in order to learn it), or to listen to a shiur (which involves only the power of actual, non-visual thought? Another similar scenario: a person is sitting by a shiur. Is he looking at the Rebbi who is giving the shiur, or would he rather listen to the tape? Some people are stronger with their sense of vision and gain more from seeing the Rebbi give the shiur, while some are stronger in their sense of hearing and gain more from listening to the recording. There are people who need to look at the person talking to them in order to concentrate on what the person is saying. What is the reason for this? It is really because such people have a hard time just using their intellect to grasp what they re hearing. They need to see the person talking, because this gives them some kind of picture. They need a picture in order to understand something. When a person understands something based on picturing it, he needs to have the page of Gemara in front of him in order to learn. But if a person uses his intellect to understand something, he doesn t need the Gemara to be in front of him in order to think, because he is able to enter the information wherever he is. Thus, a more thinking person would rather listen to a shiur than read a Gemara but not because hearing the shiur clarifies the sugya more than when he reads the Gemara; even if he is able to repeat the Gemara word for word, he s rather hear about it then read it. A different kind of person, by contrast, would rather read Gemara than listen to a shiur on it, because he feels that he remembers it better when he reads it. This is not because he verbalizes what he reads, but it is because seeing the actual words of the Gemara helps him remember it better than hearing a shiur on it. This is because he mainly understands something based on picturing it, which uses the power of shoimer (protecting the information). So there are two kinds of ways how people understand something. People who need to give a concept a certain picture in order to understand it are the type to see someone walking by them and wonder, This person looks like someone else I know. He looks at every person who walks by him and thinks how each person he sees is similar looking to someone else he knows. When he sees a baby, he will immediately analyze if the baby looks like his father or mother. This is really because such a person bases his understanding on how he can picture something. He limits his intellect to whatever he can picture.

55 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 54 Such a kind of person also combines different pictures in his mind in order to be able to understand something; this is called markiv, which is a power in the mind that combines one kind of imaginative thought to another kind of imaginative thought. Let us repeat that it is impossible to have intellect without picture, or to have picture without intellect. These are two forces which we all need to make use of, and it is just that each person uses them in a different order. Some people first understand something intellectually and only after that give it a mental picture, while others first picture a concept and only after that do they think into what it implies. The kind of thinking that we should want to achieve we is to first understand something based on our intellectual understanding, not on how well we can picture it. On a deeper note, before the sin of Adam the natural perception was to have intellect before picture, and after the sin, this became altered, and now the natural perception is picture before intellect; we are trying to return to the pure state of thinking that existed before the sin, which is to first use our intellect in understanding something. Real Memory Is Not Used For Imagination There are two ways how one s mind holds onto information; one is called protection of the information (shoimer) and the other is remembering the information (zoicher). In the beginning of this chapter, we brought the words of the Vilna Gaon that a person s imagination is stored in his mind s ability to protect the information, while a person s thoughts are stored in one s memory. They are two different ways to hold onto information; the power of memory is not what holds onto imagination -- memory is only used to remember a person s real thoughts. Only zoicher/memory can enable a person to become close to Hashem (as opposed to shoimer/retaining the imagination), because it stores the real thoughts of a person. A person who only perceives something by first picturing it in his mind is basing his perception of it on his imagination, which will not necessarily bring him close to Hashem. How do we see this? Before Adam sinned, a person would think of a fact and then remember it, and the thought was stored in the mind through the power of memory (zoicher). After the sin, the order changed: imagination precedes thought. This we can see from the fact that Chavah desired the tree because she saw that it was good; in other words, first she pictured it, and only after that did she think about it. This has become our natural state, unless we work to uproot the order: we first imagine a concept, and only after that do we think about it intellectually.

56 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 55 The implications of this go even further. What happens when a person acts based upon a picture he saw? This can lead a person to commit a sin. We can see this from the story of the Golden Calf. The Jewish people only made the Calf because they saw a picture of Moshe s coffin in the sky. When a person s thinking is based on picture/imagination, such thinking is off-base, and it can result in erroneous outcomes. These are two abilities we make use of in our soul: picturing something, which uses our power of shoimer (protection), and thought, which uses our power of zoicher (memory). The ideal situation is to have both of these Remember (zoicher) and keep (shoimer) the Shabbos. This will be the perfected level of the future, in which our intellect and picture will co-exist at the same time. In our times, though, this level cannot be reached, so we need to make sure that whatever we are picturing is based on our thoughts, and not on our imagination. We need to thus ask ourselves how we are thinking. There are exceptions to this rule there are some times when we can use our power of imagination to reach a real thought. We find this with tzitzis. Chazal say that seeing tzitzis (with techeiles) reminds a person of the blue color of the sky, which reminds a person of the kisei hakavod 23. Here a person uses the power to picture something to arrive at a certain reality that exists. But with learning Torah, a person can t base his thinking on a mental picture of the information. To act based upon a picture is the kind of thinking that came after Adam s sin; if a person learns based on how he pictures a fact, he is connecting all his knowledge in Torah to that state. Such learning will hold back a person from really understanding the depth of the Torah. When a person learns Torah based on his ability of picture, even if he thinks about the facts afterward in an intellectual way, it doesn t help. His whole thinking will be tied to the picture he thought of before, and the thinking becomes narrowed to fit the picture he has formed in his head. But if a person gets used to first understanding something on an intellectual level, and only after that does he attempt to give it a mental picture, he will be able to reach the inner understanding of the Torah he learns. Having Time To Think Now that we have explained the roots of this discussion, we can give many simple examples that make this concept practical. 23 Sotah 17a

57 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 56 There are people who can always be seen with a sefer in their hand; wherever they go, they take a sefer with them and always learn from it diligently. This actually creates a disadvantage to a person. If a person always needs a sefer in order to learn, his thinking is based on his ability of shoimer, not on his ability of zoicher. He never makes use of his real memory, because such a person needs to always have something in front of him so he can picture it and be able to think. He limits his thinking to only what he can picture in front of him. Reb Yeruchem Levovitz zt l once remarked sharply, Nothing comes from a masmid. Why? The reason behind his statement is because if a person just reads Gemara a lot but he never thinks, he doesn t grow in his learning. By contrast, someone who thinks based on his ability of zoicher and not on his ability of shoimer doesn t just read the Gemara; he thinks into it. This doesn t mean he never reads any sefarim; he does, but he doesn t base his thinking upon his ability to read. He is more concerned about seeing the intellect behind what he learns. His whole day revolves around real thinking. Recently, new organizations have come up with Torah tapes to listen to whenever a person is on the go. When Rav Shlomo Wolbe zt l heard about this, he remarked, It used to be that people would think as they traveled, but now, no one will ever think again. We have just said two different points. The first kind of problem is when people always take a sefer with them in order to learn. He could have listened to a shiur, which would have made him think more. People think more when they listen than when they read, so by using a sefer, a person loses out on real thinking. Although listening to a shiur is better than reading the Gemara, listening to a shiur all the time doesn t either get rid of this problem. If a person can only learn in his spare time by listening to a shiur, he also never thinks on his own. It all boils down to this: Is a person always reading Torah, or does he have any time to himself to think and reflect on his own? This is not an issue about how to act and what to do. We aren t telling you here what to do. What we are saying is that it s not enough to learn a person has to think also. In the words of this chapter, we are explaining how to think, in terms of two different abilities in our soul zoicher and shoimer. When a person always reads sefarim but he never thinks, his thinking is based on his ability of shoimer; but if a person bases his thinking on zoicher, he finds time to think by himself. Of course, a person can t just think on his own without using something to stir on his thoughts. We aren t philosophers, nor are we Avraham Avinu who was able to reflect and conclude on his own that there is a Creator. Obviously, we need to read something in order to think about it we need to see the letters of a word, which are also a kind of picture. But we are just trying to describe an ability in a person in which not all his thinking comes from what he pictures.

58 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 57 Reviewing By Heart Vs. Reviewing Shakla V tarya Throughout the generations, there were different methods to learn which have always been accepted and given over to us by our great teachers. When learning Mishnayos, the traditional method is to remember the letters and words; for this reason, children are trained to memorize Mishnayos by heart. Gemara Talmud Bavli works differently. With Gemara, the method used by our teachers, also brought in the name of the Vilna Gaon, is not to remember each word by heart, but rather to remember the shakla v tarya the back-and-forth discussions of the Gemara. The shakla v tarya is the basic content of the Gemara; the emphasis here is not on memorizing each word by heart. From a superficial attitude, memorizing Mishnayos is beneficial for thinking, because letters enlighten the mind, while learning Gemara is meant just to focus on the intellect of the discussion, because it s too hard to see and remember all the letters of Gemara, which are broader discussions than Mishnayos. But on a deeper note, these two different learning methods are the two different abilities in our mind, zoicher and shoimer. When a person memorizes the words of Mishnayos by heart, he is using his ability of shoimer, because he is thinking based on picturing the letters. When a person repeats over the shakla v tarya of the Gemara, he is using zoicher, and although he needs to first see the actual letters of the Gemara in order to think about it, his grasp of the material is based on intellectualizing it. A person thus needs to examine his thinking and see how he thinks: is he first using zoicher or shoimer? Diyuk and Sevarah In the previous chapter, we listed three methods how to think when we learn: sevarah, diyuk and cheshbon. A person needs to figure out which of these three abilities he is the strongest in. Which is the strongest of these three? Each person is stronger in one area than in another. Some people s strong point is in their ability of diyuk. They analyze the letters and words of the Gemara very well and from this, they form their understanding. Others excel more when it comes to sevarah; they need to make sure that their logic also fits into the words, and on a more subtle note, they know how to produce a sevarah from a diyuk. But the point is that such people excel in their ability of sevarah.

59 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 58 The power of sevarah is the strongest way to think; this is where one can think from his soul. We can find this hinted to in the statement of the Gemara that says, Why do I need a possuk (verse in the Torah)? It s a sevarah (logic). When the understanding is based on a possuk, it s being based on picture, which is diyuk. The diyuk can come and show what the sevarah is. But if it can be deduced by sevarah, then it comes from the intellect of the matter, and this is stronger than the diyuk. These are different abilities in our soul we must be aware which one we use more. Of course, when you are a child, you think of something based on picturing it; a child s thinking is based on his ability of shoimer, not zoicher. The question is when we are adults: has our thinking changed since how we thought as children? There is a story told about the Brisker Rov zt l that once a father and son came to him. The Rov was learning in a room and there were barely any sefarim on his shelves. The child whispered to his father, Why doesn t the Gadol have any sefarim? The Brisker Rov, who was known to be a very truthful person, overheard the child s question and turned to the child and said, A person s greatness is not measured by how many sefarim he has in his house. This is a whole new take about life. Sevarah is rooted in sevarah yesharah (straight logic), which was the kind of straight thinking that existed before Adam sinned. Intellect Cannot Uproot The Picture A deep point is hidden here. Until now, with the help of Hashem, we have elaborated on two distinct abilities of the mind the power of thought, which uses zoicher/memory, and the power of imagination/picture, which uses shoimer/ protection. Let us now bring out the difference. If a person sees a crooked building that is about to fall, what picture does he have in his mind when he sees it? He protects the image in his mind, and that is how sees the crooked building. What happens if a person hears a crooked kind of logic? The mind cannot accept it. Why not? It is because the mind is made up of three parts: Chochmah, Binah and Da as. What are these abilities? The Ramchal (in sefer Derech Tevunos) explains that Chochmah is what a person thinks, Binah is what a person produces from the thoughts, and Da as is that a person decides to accept it or not. Our thinking process thus involves the three abilities of Chochmah, Binah and Da as. The Chochmah is the knowledge that a person receives from others, the Binah is what a person thinks on his own (based on that knowledge) and the Da as is what a person decides if he decides to accept what he had heard or not.

60 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 59 Daas, the power to decide, is only possible with the real intellect of the mind. The ability to picture something does not involve any deciding you don t decide if you accept the image or not. A picture is a picture it is imprinted on the mind, and you cannot change what you have seen. This is a deep point about our soul: a picture-based thinking cannot be uprooted, even by a real thought. To illustrate the concept, women by nature are more easygoing, and they believe others thinking more readily than men do. What is the reason for this? It is really because women first make use of their ability to picture the facts before they comprehend it intellectually. Because a woman s thinking is based on her picture/imagination, women are less examining of the information they receive. A woman s thinking doesn t pass through the scrutinizing lens of the Chochmah, Binah and Da as. A woman naturally follows the image in her head and doesn t question that the picture in her head is a picture. When a person s thinking is based on what he has pictured, the thoughts cannot uproot the picture, because the picture has already been imprinted onto the mind. What, then, can a person do to get rid of the picture he has formed in his head? The only way is to change the thinking patterns. The person has to change the way he thinks; he has to realize that he must not base his thinking on what he has pictured. This is the only way to remove the image that has been imprinted onto the mind. But if a person just tries to use his thoughts to think over the image and try to take away its effect, he won t succeed in uprooting what he has seen, because the image has already been carved into his mind. Correcting Mistakes In Learning When it comes to learning Torah, this discussion has big implications. Chazal 24 say that once a mistake enters the mind, it stays there. When a person makes a mistake, it is because he has used his ability of shoimer instead of zoicher he has formed his thinking based on a certain picture he has in his head. Many times a person gets a certain picture in his head about something, and he isn t even aware that he is being misled. Even when he realizes that he is mistaken, he continues to think mistakenly, because once he got this picture in his head, it is carved into his mind and difficult for him to ignore it. When a person learns a piece of information based on how well he first pictures it, he thinks superficially, and all his thinking afterward will be based on that picture in his head. 24 Pesachim 112a

61 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 60 Even if he hears from someone else that there is a different way to explain the material which makes more sense than how he originally thought or even if he does think afterward in the right kind of way and he gets it right the second time around -- the whole structure of his thinking is superficial, and all his thinking will be based on superficiality. He will still have an inaccurate understanding of what he s learning. Even if a person thinks it through afterward and realizes he made a mistake, and even if he remembers his mistake the second time around when he learns it again, his thinking will still be mistaken! Many times he remembers that he was mistaken, but he doesn t remember what the correct approach was, and because he can t remember the real solution, he just goes back to his original misguided thinking. Even if a person isn t aware of this, that is how his mind thinks as long as he hasn t uprooted his erroneous thinking patterns. By contrast, if a person first makes sure to intellectualize the information before he pictures it, his thinking is based on his real mind. He will be able to disagree strongly with someone who says something that doesn t make sense to him. His thinking has yashrus (integrity) to it. Rav Chaim Volozhiner zt l wrote that The entire praise of the earlier generations was that they had sevara yeshara (straight logic). What is the depth to this matter? If one has straight logic, his thinking is based on is real mind, not on his imagination. When a person bases his thinking on how he pictures it, his thinking doesn t come from logic, and it definitely doesn t come from a straight way of thinking. Such a person always has to make corrections to how he thought, because he has accepted whatever he pictured. Chazal say that when a person learns Torah, he should be like one who writes on a new piece of paper, not like one who writes on an old piece of paper. This is the difference between one who understands based on picture to one who understands based on intellect. A person who understands something based on what he has pictured is like someone who keeps using the same old piece of paper; if he wants to write on it, he will have to keep erasing what he has written but if someone understands something based upon his intellect, he is able to have a new kind of thinking each time, like a fresh new piece of paper. Learning Something The Second Time Having understood this, we can sharpen the discussion even more. Let s say a person, for example, learned Maseches Kiddushin before and now he sits down to learn it for the second time. How is he now approaching it? Is he learning it based on how he remembers it from last time, or he is starting fresh, as if he never learned it before? When a person learns it now based on how he remembers it from last time, he is starting now from the original way he thought. If he s starting now based on the original picture he

62 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 61 had in head from the sugya, his whole thinking will definitely have to fit the picture in his head. But even if he learns it now based on how he originally remembers it, he limits his thinking. Don t be limited to how your originally thought your thoughts instead are supposed to become more true. Begin to learn the sugya again anew it should be a new beginning. When a person learns based on how he pictures it, then even if he refines his intellect as he goes on, the picture in his head still remains the same picture, and all he is doing is adding onto the old picture he formed last time. But if a person begins to learn again now based on thinking, then the way he thinks now is different than how he thought last time. It is a pitiful situation if a person still thinks in the same way now as he thought last time! Your thinking is supposed to have changed since a while ago. There is a difference between the very first time you learn something with the second time you learn it; we will explain the difference. The first time you learn something, you need to make use of your ability to picture the facts; the only question is if you are mainly using your picture, or if you are mainly using your intellect. But the second time you learn something (and you knew it already from the first time you learned it), you already have a certain picture in your head about it. On one hand, you will be inclined to follow the picture in your head, because it has been retained in your mind through the power of shoimer. On the other hand, you already have the picture in your head on it, so all you have to do now is think of the material on an intellectual level. The first time you learn a sugya, forgetting the material is normal, and it is impossible to start thinking first about the sugya through your intellect; you have to first make use of your ability to picture the information. But the second time you learn it, how do you start learning it? A person who thinks superficially only learns it based on how he remembers it from the last time. He remembers how he concluded, and now he just checks his previous conclusions. But the correct approach which we are describing is that when one learns it again, he should start fresh, as if he is learning it for the first time. The Higher Kind of Memory To complete this discussion, let us add on another point. There are two ways how we remember something. To give a simple example, if it is night time and you ask someone if it is night or day, he answers, It is night. How does he know it is the night? He sees it with his eyes, but who told him that being dark is called nighttime? The answer to this is because ever since he was a child, he was told that when it s dark outside it means that it is night time. Slowly this fact became imprinted onto his mind, and that is how he knows that darkness means nighttime.

63 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 62 But if let s say you ask someone about the sugya he learned today, and he remembers it well, is that the same kind of memory as the person who remembers nighttime? It s not the same kind of memory as the previous example. What s the difference? Remembering if it is night or day has to do with your consciousness and your sub-conscious (this was explained by Reb Yisrael Salanter). These are simple facts which do not use our mind, because they are so well-known. But there are some things which we remember that are a whole different kind of memory. These are things which we definitely remember, but they involve the use of memory, as opposed to our subconscious which does not utilize our memory. The sub-conscious facts stored in our mind are really a deeper kind of memory. They are imprinted onto the mind; we will explain this more. When a person uses memory, his memory is powered by the thoughts. When a person retains an image in his mind, this is something else this doesn t pass through the faculty of thought. It is an image. The sub-conscious is also a picture in our mind, but it is above the regular kind of picture in the mind. It is a kind of thought that has become a part of who we are. The subconscious is really a higher kind of memory. The lower kind of memory is when we just remember all kinds of things, such as remembering all the numbers. Anyone can feel that there is a huge difference between remembering why nighttime is nighttime to how he remembers the sixteen digits on his credit card they are being remembered from two totally different places within himself. When you remember that when it s dark outside it means that it is nighttime, that is in your sub-conscious. It is a much deeper kind of memory than memorizing your credit card number. Sometimes this kind of memory has evil outcomes, like sins which become imprinted onto a person s bones 25. But in its holy use, we find this by how the words of the Torah became imprinted onto the Jewish people when they stood at Sinai. This isn t just memory it is an imprint upon our souls. In this chapter, we discussed the abilities of shoimer and zoicher, and how a person must grow from the level of shoimer to the level of zoicher. Now we have concluded the discussion by describing a power even higher than zoicher the higher kind of zoicher, which is the kind of knowledge that is imprinted onto our subconscious. If someone reaches this kind of thought in his learning, he is in essence on the level of standing at Sinai to receive the Torah. Such a level is impossible to reach perfectly, but everyone can reach it somewhat, each to his own. There, a person will find that Hashem, the Torah and the Jewish people are one. 25 Yechezkel 32: 27

64 Getting to Know Your Thoughts The Higher & Lower Modes of Thought Chochmah, Binah and Da as In the previous chapter, we brought the words of the Vilna Gaon who lists five faculties of our mind. There are others who describe our mind differently, and they instead break up the mind into three parts: Chochmah, Binah and Da as. This is taken from the possuk about Betzalel, of whom it is written, And I will fill him with the spirit of G-d, with Chochmah, Tevunah and Da as. We also ask in davening that Hashem bestow upon us Chochmah, Binah and Da as. This doesn t contradict the Vilna Gaon s description of our mind, who says that there are five parts to the mind. The Vilna Gaon is describing the lower part of our soul the nefesh habehamis, the animalistic layer of our soul. This description can even apply to an animal s brain, which does not possess any Da as. Only a person is called a bar da as (someone capable of Da as). The Vilna Gaon lists the abilities of thought, memory, imagination, combination and protection which are all abilities that an animal is capable of. But Chochmah, Binah and Da as are exclusive to humans. Sometimes we can find certain animals that have Chochmah and Binah, but never Da as. A rooster is blessed with Binah to differentiate between night and day. But no animal is capable of Da as; only a person can have Da as. We will now go through the faculties of Chochmah, Binah and Da as. Generally speaking, there are two methods how to understand these three parts to our mind. First we will give a little introduction that is the foundation of both methods, and after that, with the help of Hashem, we will try to get down to the depth of these matters. Mochin D Gadlus and Mochin D Katnus A well-known concept brought in the works of our teachers is that in a person s mind, there are two different modes of thought. There is a higher mode of thought, which is called mochin d gadlus, and there is a lower mode of thought, which is called mochin d katnus. In each of them, a person is able to make use of Chochmah, Binah and Da as. To give a generic difference, mochin d katnus is a child s mind, who does not possess Da as, while mochin d gadlus is an adult s mind, who has da as. But such a definition of mochin d katnus is really describing a much lower kind of thinking, the kind of thinking which the Vilna Gaon lists as one of the seventy forces of the soul abilities which exist even by animals.

65 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 64 Mochin d katnus of our discussion here is not that kind of primitive thinking. It is a lower mode of our thoughts, but it s not that simple. We are discussing a mature adult, who is a bar da as. The adult mind is comprised of three parts: Chochmah, Binah and Da as. In these three abilities of our mind, we have times in which our mind is in a higher state (mochin d gadlus) and times in which our mind enters a lower state (mochin d katnus). What is the difference between the two modes of thought? A simple understanding of the difference is that mochin d katnus is when a person s understanding is simple without any depth to it, while mochin d gadlus is to think with a more expanded kind of mind, such as being aware of conflicting opinions. This all true, but it doesn t really bring out the concept. There is much more to it. Mochin d gadlus and mochin d katnus are really two totally different ways to think they are two different systems of thought. In the lower mode of thought, mochin d katnus, we make use of Chochmah, Binah and Da as as follows. Chochmah is what a person has learned from his teachers, Binah is when a person understands something else based upon the information, and Da as is when a person decides to accept the information or not. In the higher mode of thought, mochin d gadlus, it is different. When a person uses Chochmah in the higher frame of mind, he sees something and sees the wisdom contained in it (like it is written, My heart sees much wisdom ). When a person uses the higher Binah, he understands something based on what he sees, and when he uses the higher Da as, he connects to the information; this does not involve deciding upon something, which is the lower kind of Da as. Connecting to the information, the higher kind of Da as, is not the same thing as deciding, which is the lower kind of Da as. A simple example of this is that a thirteen-yearold boy s marriage is valid, but his marital union is invalid. This is really because a child lacks the power to connect he is missing the higher kind of Da as. In order to really be married, a person needs to be able to connect the kind of Da as that connects. And Adam knew Chavah. These are two different uses of our Chochmah, Binah and Da as a higher mode, and a lower mode. Altogether we listed six different functions of our thinking (higher Chochmah, Binah and Da as, and lower Chochmah, Binah and Da as), and later we will add on another function of Da as, which is called Da as d havdalah the ability to separate information. We will now attempt to understand these two modes of thought. The Higher and Lower Chochmah

66 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 65 When a person is in the state of mochin d katnus, the lower mode of thought, he uses his Chochmah to receive his way of thinking. He can t think on his own, so from where does he know anything? From his teacher. With mochin d katnus, a person isn t really thinking he is just receiving his thinking. But with mochin d gadlus, the person has matured into a state in which he is actually thinking. Let s say a father is learning with his son; there are two ways how he can be teaching him. If he lowers himself to the level of his son and that is how he teaches him, this is the state of mochin d katnus. But if the father raises the academic level of his son to his own level, he teaches him with mochin d gadlus. Really, the point of teaching Torah to one s children is to bring him to a higher level of learning; the point is not that the father lowers himself to the level of his son. The first kind of father only brings his son to the level of mochin d katnus. The child never really thinks this way he just receives knowledge. The second kind of father teaches his son and brings him to his very level; the son s learning will be mochin d gadlus, because he sees the facts for himself. We can compare this to a couple that leaves their family to go on a vacation to see the Swiss Alps. Their children, who were left home, have no idea what the Swiss Alps looks like, and they need their parents to describe it to them. The parents, though, don t have a need to tell about it for their own sake, because they don t have to they were there already. Mochin d gadlus is to really see the information. When a person is actually in the wisdom, he sees it. When someone isn t in that place, he needs to be told of it in order to know about it that is mochin d katnus of Chochmah. We have explained the higher Chochmah and the lower Chochmah, and the difference between them is vast. With the lower Chochmah, a person receives wisdom, but he isn t there. With the higher Chochmah, the person is actually there. The Higher and Lower Binah Now we will describe lower Binah and higher Binah. The lower kind of Binah is when a person understands something based on understanding another piece of information; he produces new information from what he has learned. With Chochmah, a person just receives the actual information as it is; the Binah comes and produces from it new information. In the higher kind of Binah, a person understands what he actually sees.

67 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 66 There is a big difference between lower Binah and higher Binah. In the lower Binah, a person is able to produce new information from what he understands, but he doesn t actually come into contact with the information. Only with the higher Binah does a person really get a feel on the information. This is when a person is able to see or hear something and either agree with it or disagree with it; the lower Binah isn t capable of this. Here is a big difference between the higher state of mind and the lower state of mind. In the lower state of mind, Chochmah is the knowledge that a person receives from his teachers, and it is unquestioned. Whoever questions his teacher is like one who questions the Shechinah 26. The lower Binah is able to produce new information from the Chochmah, but it is basically expanding the already existing information it isn t anything really new. In the lower state of mind, a person is just receiving information; he doesn t really get in touch with the information. He merely expands it; the Chochmah remains untouched, and all Binah is does is give it a picture. In the higher mode of thought, it s the opposite: the Binah processes the information of the Chochmah and actually produces information from it. Binah is therefore considered by some to be a higher power than Chochmah, because the Chochmah is only what a person sees and pictures, while Binah is the actual information he produces from what he has seen 27. The Higher and Lower Da as In the previous chapter we explained about two different abilities in our mind to picture information, or to see it as intellectual knowledge. We learned that one must turn the picture into actual knowledge. Now we will elaborate more on this concept. With the lower state of mind, a person first receives the knowledge on an intellectual level, and then he can give it a picture. But with the higher state of mind, a person receives the knowledge as a picture, and after that he intellectualizes it. What this means is that in the lower mode of thought, although it seems as if the picture is coming before the knowledge, really the knowledge is preceding the picture. It just seems to be the other way around. In the higher mode of thought, though, it s not simply a picture it is more of a mental kind of vision. This is known as eyes of the intellect 28. The difference between them comes to play as follows. In the lower mode of thought, Chochmah is what a person receives from his teachers, Binah is to picture that, and Da as is to 26 Sanhedrin 110a 27 Eitz Chaim, Shaar Chovos HaLevovos

68 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 67 decide if the picture is correct or not. But in the higher mode of thought, Chochmah is to see the information, Binah is to understand the root of the information, and Da as is to connect to the information. When a person uses the higher Da as, he essentially connects to the Chochmah. When a person is at the lower mode of thought, his da as simply weighs out the information of the Chochmah and Binah, but there is no actual connection of the person to the information. It just spreads out the information more. Here, the person doesn t connect to the actual information he just creates more information. But in the higher mode of thought, a person really sees the information at its root. He understands it on his own, and thus he really connects to the information. In the lower mode of thought, a person just hears the information, but he doesn t actually see it. He is able to understand what he hears and even add onto this, but his connection to it will be only to what he has formulated. He doesn t connect to the actual Chochmah he received only to what he has produced from the information. The higher mode of thought is when a person really sees the information, and thus he is able to really connect to it. We can see clearly that when people see something, they are able to connect to it better than when they just hear about it. When a person adds on his own understanding to what he actually sees, he is able to truly connect to the information. This is the entire concept of the higher mode of thought, mochin d gadlus. It is to actually live the Chochmah. The person sees the Chochmah because he is there. He understands the root of the information, and he is thus able to connect to it in a deep way. Someone who lives with the higher mode of thought has a whole different kind of thinking than one who is still at the lower mode of thought. When a person lives in the higher mode of thought, of him it can be said, Say to wisdom, She is my sister 29. When a person connects to the information this way, he perceives the information as a very actual reality. He uses both a mental kind of vision as well as his own understanding, and from there he can come to have the higher Da as, a total connection to the information. When a person just sees the information but he doesn t understand it, he can only connect to it from his desires, which is a very low kind of recognition. The eye sees, the heart desires, and the rest of the body completes the act. 30 With desire, a person sees something, but there is no understanding involved. A person s desire isn t interested in understanding something the desires just look for something tantalizing to the eyes to look at. When a person sees a picture with no understanding in it, he connects to it through his desire which is a false kind of connection. But when a person has an understanding in what he has seen, he is able to truly connect to the information this is the higher kind of da as. 29 Mishlei 7: 4 30 Rashi, Bamidbar 15: 39

69 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 68 If the matter is as clear to you in the same way that you know that your sister is prohibited to you, you may say it, and if not, you may not say it. 31 When you are totally clear about what you know and see, you are able to connect to the knowledge. In more simple words, the most perfect kind of mind we can achieve is to have a clear picture and a clear understanding of the knowledge. This enables a person to truly connect to the knowledge. Real Pictures Vs. Imaginary Pictures With the higher Da as, a person doesn t just see something as a picture, but he sees it as information. In this way, he is able to connect to the information. With the higher Da as, a person also sees a picture, but he doesn t see it through his imagination; he is actually there. There is a very big difference between seeing a picture through imagination to when a person actually sees the picture. Let us make this very clear. In the lower mode of thought, the Chochmah is the knowledge that one receives from his teacher. The person receives a small kernel of thought, and from that the person is able to give it a more complete picture. How does a person do this? He compares one thing to another. When a person compares, he is really using imagination; medameh, which is to compare, also means imagination. When a person pictures information using his ability to compare this and that, he is forming a picture through his imagination. But with the higher mode of thought, a person pictures reality, not an imagined picture. This gives us a more subtle understanding to the concept we have been describing until now. There are two ways to picture something in one s mind: through one s imagination, and through one s intellect. When it comes to physical sights, we all know what this is sometimes we actually see something, and sometimes it was just in our imagination. Right now we are talking about how this can happen with our mind as well there are things which we really see through our thoughts, and there are things which we aren t really thinking about, just imagining. This really brings out the difference between the higher and lower modes of thought. When a person uses his imagination to picture something, he is only using the lower part of his soul (the nefesh habehamis), which only has in it the lower mode of thought (mochin d katnus). Such abilities are found even in animals; the Vilna Gaon lists five abilities that are found in both people and animals, and two of these abilities are the abilities to think and imagine. Obviously, these are lower kinds of thoughts. 31 Shabbos 145b

70 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 69 But a person can picture something through his actual power of vision contained in his soul; this is the higher mode of thought. When a person sees something this way, he sees the reality as it is. These are both two very deep powers in our soul. The Torah is described in the possuk as black fire on white fire. What this implies is that the Torah is really the source of all pictures in Creation. In other words, there is a real kind of picture which is not being pictured by our imagination, but it is rather a picture of reality. This is the higher mode of thought to be able to get a picture of reality. Let us again stress the fact that we are speaking about the higher mode of thought, which is to see a real, existing picture. The lower mode of thought only sees an imaginary picture the imagination is capable of coming up with all sorts of ideas that do not exist. The imagination is made up of three abilities: medameh (imagination), markiv (combining different imaginative thoughts) and shoimer (protecting and retaining the imaginative thoughts). Markiv can come and combine two pictures that one has imagined in his mind, and it can also combine two different imagined ideas that do not exist at all. Both of these are abilities that our lower mode of thought uses. But the higher mode of thoughts sees a picture by actually seeing it. It is a more intellectual kind of a picture. This kind of picturing is rooted in the Torah, the root of all intellect which was given in black fire on white fire. Of course, with the higher mode of thought a person can still see many different kinds of things, because there are many kinds of pictures. Hashem looked into the Torah and created the world. Creation is full of many different pictures that are holy. But the root of all holy pictures is contained in the black fire on white fire of the Torah. Chazal say that seeing letters of the Torah make one wise; there is a place in our soul in which we can actually see a holy kind of picture. This is the higher mode of thought in us. There is an additional point which is very important to know. Chochmah and Binah are called two friends that never separate from each other. These two abilities are always connected. However, this is only true with the higher mode of thought, and not in the lower mode of thought. In the lower mode of thought, Chochmah and Binah are not always connected a simple example of this is that we can see that a person doesn t immediately understand what his teacher has taught him. But in the higher mode of thought, Binah is a direct result of Chochmah, because the person actually sees the knowledge, and thus he naturally thinks into it and understands it. In this way, the person lives the knowledge contained in his Chochmah. That is why in the higher mode of thought, Chochmah and Binah are always connected to each other. In the higher state of mind, a person naturally understands the Chochmah; since he really sees it, he is naturally inclined to think into it, and thus he comes to understand it. The Chochmah and the Binah here come simultaneously.

71 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 70 As we said before, this only applies to pictures that exist, not things that one imagines. Only through picturing something that exists can a person come to understand what he sees. Unifying Imagination With Intellect A person is called adam, which comes from the word adameh I will resemble, which is referring to how we must strive to resemble the Creator. This is when we make use of our higher mode of thought. In the lower mode of thought, man is instead medameh imagination. In the higher mode of thought, a person is called adameh, because he resembles the Creator in that everything he pictures are for holiness. We can see this very simply: a person can be sitting and imagining something, and afterwards he remembers that twenty years ago, he one time saw what he imagined, and it remained somewhere in his memory until now. Really, it s not imagination, because it is something he actually saw one time, and it was retained in his mind (due to the mind s ability of shoimer). It just came to him through the imagination, but really it is a thought, because he actually saw it before. This kind of imagination is really the kind of imagination which we want to achieve more often to imagine the facts. We established that there are two ways to picture something either through imagining it (which is through the lower mode of thought) or to see it through our actual intellect. It is our mission now to unify these two abilities we need to unify the imagination with our intellectual vision. Fixing The Lower Mode Of Thought Let s say a person has succeeded in revealing his higher mode of thought. What happens to his lower mode of thought? Usually, is has been tucked away and has been pushed deep into the lowest point of the soul. We can see people who are very smart and mature, and they are far removed from imagination. Then the grandchildren come over to play and the proud grandfather gets down onto the floor and plays with them. What happens when a person does this? He knows that the child is living in imagination, so he wants to make him happy by getting involved in the child s imaginary world of playtime. He is well-meaning in doing so he just wants to make his grandchild happy. But as soon as he plays with his grandchild, he returns back to his own inner child. He brings out his imagination again, which was long ago buried underneath him and he returns to imagination.

72 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 71 Such a person hasn t really fixed yet his lower mode of thought. He has succeeded in overpowering it for a long time, by revealing his higher mode of thought but we can compare this to a torch which blots out the light of a candle. When a torch is present, you can t see the light of a candle, but it s not because the candle is gone. If you blow out the torch, the candle will once again light up the room. The point of what we are saying here is that many times, a person has indeed left his imagination, but it s only because he just buries it underneath him. It can always come back one day it hasn t yet been removed. We want to achieve something higher than this. What we want to do is fix the imagination totally, so that it doesn t come back again one day long after we have left it. In order to do this, we need to fix it up. We have to fix our lower mode of thought by using our higher mode of thought in other words, we need to unify the imagination with a more intellectual kind of vision. This is a description of an inner kind of life. Da as The Connecting Force Da as is able to connect what is above to what is below. About Betzalel, it is written, And I will fill him with the spirit of G-d, with Chochmah, Tevunah and Da as. Chochmah is the knowledge, Tevunah is the imagination of the lower mode of thought, and Da as is what connects the Chochmah and the Tevunah. There is Da as which connects Chochmah and Binah, and there is also Da as which connects Chochmah and Tevunah. The higher Da as, which connects Chochmah and Binah, is that a person sees and thinks into something on an intellectual level, and then he connects to it on a deep level. But then there is a lower kind of connection of the Da as, and that is when the Da as connects Chochmah with Tevunah. Here, the Da as only connects the information only for the sake of leading to action, in the same way that Betzalel was blessed with special mental abilities to be able to do anything for the Mishkan. To build the Mishkan, it was enough to use the lower kind of Da as which connects Chochmah and Tevunah. There is a higher ability of picture, and there is a lower ability to picture. The lower ability to picture is rooted in imagination, and it uses the lower Binah. The possuk calls this Tevunah, which is another term for the lower Binah. The higher kind of picture is the higher Chochmah, which is to see a picture of the reality. It is an intellectual kind of vision it is not a regular kind of imagery. The lower Binah, which is called Tevunah, is essentially imagination. The lower Da as comes and connects the higher Chochmah and the Tevunah and turns the information into practical use.

73 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 72 The higher Chochmah is the real picture. This is the black fire on white fire of the Torah a picture of what the reality is. Tevunah, though, is just imagination. If we want to make all this information practical in our life, we need to connect it all together. If we just use imagination to do things, then we lower our power of Binah to mere actions. On the other hand, if we only use the higher power to picture, which is the higher Chochmah, this will be impossible to implement, because this earth we live on is called adamah, which has the same root as medameh imagination. This shows us that we need to make use of our imagination also if we are to be practical. How, then, can we get things done on this world, in a practical way? What we need to do is to shine our higher power to picture things onto the lower ability to picture things; we need to illuminate our Tevunah with the higher Chochmah. In this way, our imagination will receive a higher ability to picture things, and it will be able to affect our practical actions in a positive way. Our Mission To Make Our Imagination Holy This concept is actually the secret that lies behind holy imagination. The prophets were able to give envision a picture of Hashem. How did this work? They would take the image they saw and give it a higher kind of picture. They did this by using the higher mode of thought mochin d gadlus. When Hashem created man, He said, Let us make man, in our image (tzelem) and in our form (demus). This shows that a person has two ways to think: he has a tzelem, a form, which enables him to think in a higher mode; he also has a demus (image), which is the lower mode of thought the imagination. A person when is born is naturally using Tevunah, and it is upon the person to resemble Hashem hevay domeh lo. In other words, a person has to get his lower mode of thought to resemble the higher mode of thought he has to get his simple imagination to have a real, intellectual kind of picture. It is our mission here to synthesize these two abilities the power to see something from our higher mode of thought, and the power to picture something from our lower mode of thought and through this, we can solve our problem, the imagination. Through doing this, we can elevate our imagination and make it holy, and thus elevate ourselves from the level of nefesh habehamis (the animalistic part of our soul) to the higher part of ourselves. Above The Mind

74 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 73 In order to complete the picture here, we will mention a point in the mind which is even higher than the higher mode of thought. Both modes of thought are somewhat materialistic and physical, but there is a higher power than this; it is even higher than the higher mode of thought. This is an ability which is above the power to see something. It is written, And wisdom is found in Ayin (nothing) 32. The higher mode of thought uses our mental power of vision, but there is a deeper source to this. Our mental vision isn t the beginning. There is something that goes even above our mental vision. This is called Ayin the point of nothingness, a point in us that is beyond the thoughts. 33 We aren t discussing how to access Ayin, but in order to complete the discussion, we should know about it. To give somewhat of a description of it, sometimes a person has to shut his eyes from seeing something bad. This is also an ability in our soul the ability to withhold our vision. Even deeper than this is an ability in a person to shut his eyes simply for the sake of getting used to not seeing anything. Here, a person doesn t see with his mind. There is a certain flow of information here that gets poured down to the person from above the mind; this is the source of the state of prophecy, in which the prophet saw a certain picture of the information. Another way how a person can experience it is through the intellect, and from the intellect the person can arrive at a picture of the information. This is a different point: if the information is a picture based on the intellect, or if it is intellect based on a picture. But we are not discussing this. 32 Iyov 28: This will be explained in the next chapter, and it is also explained at length in the seventh Hebrew volume of Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh.

75 1.7 In & Above the Thoughts Getting to Know Your Thoughts 74 Entering The Reality Of One s Thoughts In the previous chapter, we learned that there is a higher Chochmah and a lower Chochmah. The lower Chochmah is the knowledge that one receives from his teacher, and the higher Chochmah is to actually see the knowledge; this is like what is written, My heart has seen much wisdom. But there is another fundamental difference between the higher and lower Chochmah. The higher Chochmah is when a person really enters the information he is thinking about. The Baal Shem Tov says that when Hashem told Noach to enter the Ark, it was a hint that a person needs to enter into what he says and thinks. When a person has a real, inner kind of thought, it s really a way of entering the thought. The thought surrounds his whole essence, and it is like he is found inside his thoughts. If a person thinks something but he is elsewhere, he isn t really connected to the thoughts. With his mouth and lips he honors Me, but his heart is far from Me. 34 It s possible that a person is talking about something, but his heart isn t into it; he isn t there. Not only can people be disconnected from what they say, but there is also disconnection from the thoughts when people think of something, but they aren t really there. The Ramban and the Baal Shem Tov both wrote that a person is entirely found where his thoughts are. This is because a person enters his thoughts, and that is why he is found there. The thoughts are like our home which contains our essence. Where we think is thus where we are. This is only true when a person sees thought as a real, existing entity. If a person doesn t consider thoughts to be reality, he is merely thinking about a thought, but he doesn t enter his thoughts. A person who doesn t see the reality of thoughts isn t really in his thoughts, because he doesn t view his thoughts to be his real place. The Vilna Gaon writes that there are five parts to our speech: ratzon (will), machshavah (real thought), hirhur (passing thought), kol (voice) and dibbur (speech). Hirhur is a passing thought that is not part of our real thoughts, which are machshavah. Hirhur is when a person just happens to be thinking, but it isn t a real thought. It is a superficial kind of thought. Most of the thoughts of people are at this lower level of hirhur, and perhaps even at a level lower than this. 34 Yeshayahu 29: 13

76 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 75 If a person learns Torah all day, but he isn t connected to it when he doesn t think into it his learning is not using his real thoughts, but instead just passing, fleeting thoughts (hirhur); he hasn t entered his thoughts when he learns. A true thought is the kind of thought in which a person enters the matter; this is the most basic level of real thought. If the person isn t really in the thought, then it s just a passing thought that isn t real hirhur. The Disadvantage To Entering The Thoughts However, that is only is the lower definition of our thoughts. According to this definition, being outside of a thought means that you re not in the thought, and thus you don t consider the thought to be real. But there is a higher way to define thoughts, and according to this approach, being outside a thought is actually a good thing. The higher approach to thought is that when a person is really thinking, he is in a different place entirely than where he is now. Since this is so, it is not always true that one has to be in the thoughts. We will explain what we mean. In the basic definition we have given until now - that superficial thoughts are just hirhur - - the thoughts can actually be detrimental to a person s spiritual level. It is written, From afar Hashem appears to me. 35 When a person thinks about a level that is too lofty for him, he is far from there. Such thinking is hirhur. But if we go with the higher definition to thoughts that a real thought means to be there in that place of thought, while a superficial thoughts is to remain outside the thought then not being in a thought is sometimes preferred. We can explain why. Any thought that a person thinks of has certain rules and boundaries. Thoughts are based upon reality. We can compare thoughts to clothing, which has to be the right size to wear. If a person tries to wear clothing that is too small on him, either he won t fit or into it, or it will tear if he wears it. Thoughts are limited in the same way; they have to fit the rules of reality. If a person is really thinking and involved in a certain thought, he enters it, and as a result, he limits himself to what he s thinking. Even if he s thinking about something very lofty, if his soul is at a higher level than what he s thinking about, he limits himself to the thought. What happens with this? The person lowers the level of his soul. When a person thinks about something that is way above his understanding, he also isn t in that place where his thinking. That is not what we are discussing. We are talking about 35 Yirmiyahu 31: 2

77 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 76 thinking of something which a person does understand; entering these thoughts can sometimes lower the level of the soul s understanding. We can compare this to someone who gets on a flight that will last for ten hours. During the ten hours, he is limited to the airplane s boundaries, and he can t leave it. Although an airplane can fly way above the ground, the person inside it is very limited, because he is confined to the plane for ten hours. When we realize that our thoughts are very real and not just like birds that fly in the sky, which are only passing and we enter them as well although there is an advantage of being able to enter the thoughts (since we consider them to be real), there is also a disadvantage, because we are then limiting ourselves to our thoughts. When this happens, most of our thoughts are not thoughts that come from our soul. These thoughts constrict us to what we re thinking about, and thus they limit our perception of the matter. When we become limited, this bothers our soul. Just like a person can have palpable emunah (faith), so can a person have palpable thoughts and feelings. When a person has palpable thoughts and he enters them, he limits himself to what he has entered, and this causes one s soul to be bothered by the fact that it is confined. If a person doesn t anyway consider his thoughts to be palpable and real, he doesn t see how thoughts make him limited. But when a person knows what real thoughts are, he feels how confined he is to his thoughts, and he feels a need to escape the confinement. We can compare this to someone who can t wait to get out of prison. When the soul of a person is bigger than the thoughts, the soul feels confined, as if it s in a prison. Two Kinds Of Thinking What do we do about this problem? What is the true way to use our thoughts? Generally speaking, there are two ways how to really use our thoughts there is a kind of thinking which is to be in the thoughts, such as when we think deeply and concentrate about a particular thing, and there is a deeper kind of thought a kind of thought that you don t think about, but rather a perspective you reach, which is to see your thoughts from above. We will begin by explaining the first kind of thought which is to think deeply into a thought. There are five layers in our soul: the Nefesh, the Ruach, the Neshamah, the Chayah, and the Yechidah. 36 The parts in our soul which we use to think are the Neshamah and the Chayah. Our Nefesh is what we use for actions, and our Ruach is the source of our feelings. Our Neshamah and Chayah are used to think. The lower mode of thinking is through our Neshamah, while the higher mode of thinking is through our Chayah. 36 Devorim Rabbah 2: 37

78 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 77 We will not discuss here what our Yechidah is. The Yechidah is above our thoughts. We are speaking about our power of thought, which has two parts to it: our Neshamah, and our Chayah. The lower kind of thinking, Neshamah, is when we are actually thinking; here, we limit ourselves to what we are thinking. The higher kind of thinking, Chayah, is when we are able to be outside of our thoughts when we give ourselves a sort of space where we can escape outward from the thoughts. The General Picture and the Details We will make this matter clear in more simple words. In every thought, there is the thought itself, as well as the source of thought. The thoughts are meant to be entered deeply, while the actual source of thought itself needs to be left alone; you can think about it, but you shouldn t go deep into it. We can compare this to a river or a stream, which also has a source from where it flows out from. A person can enter the actual thoughts, but to try to enter the source of thought is like stuffing it up. If a person tries to enter the source of thoughts, he limits it, and it blocks up the source, similar to how a well gets stuffed. In other words, the source of the thoughts the point in you that is the source of your very thoughts, and thus above your thoughts are not to become limited to what a person is thinking about. The source of the thoughts is a kind of thought in which a person thinks, but he is like someone standing on the side of a room and looking into it, as opposed to actually going into the room and exploring it. If a person tries to enter into the actual source of thoughts, he harms this ability of being above thought, because the point that is above thought is not meant to be entered. It s like stuffing up the source of the stream. There is a way to see something from its inside, as well as a way to see from outside of it. When a person sees from the outside, this can be from either one of two reasons: either he is indeed very far from the matter -- or because he is above it. The ability in which a person sees above the thoughts should absolutely not become limited to what a person is thinking and when you enter it deeply, you are confining it to the limits of regular thinking, which defeats its whole purpose. The kind of thoughts that a person must enter into totally are the lower thoughts, which are the thoughts of the Neshamah. Such thoughts require a total immersion on the person s part, just like how a person has to be totally in the mikvah. But the inner thoughts, which are the source of the thoughts, are not thoughts which you enter they are thoughts which you see from above. Entering them only harms this power in our mind.

79 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 78 We need both abilities of thought the outer thoughts (which are to be inside the actual thoughts), which is the regular kind of thinking (albeit deeper than when we normally think), and the inner thoughts, which are really above the thoughts and cannot be thought about in the regular sense. Let us explain why we need both abilities. If a person only knows how to be above the thoughts, he won t understand what s going on inside the thoughts. We can compare this to taking a picture from an aerial view such a picture doesn t get all the details; instead, he gets a general, undetailed picture. By contrast, if someone only knows how to be in the thoughts, but he doesn t know how to be above them, he sees the details better -- but he doesn t get the full picture. When someone acquires both abilities of thought, he can see every last detail (each person according to his own level of understanding), and he also gets a general picture of what s going on. Thus, the inner thoughts the source of thought, which is above the thoughts see details, while the outer thoughts see the general picture. If a person totally enters into the inner thoughts, he loses the inner thoughts and instead only receives the outer thoughts; he loses his very source of thought in doing so. How To Think When You Learn Gemara This has implications for our learning as well. When a person learns Torah, there are two abilities we need to make use of: one ability is to enter the thoughts, and the other ability we need to use is to be above it -- at the same time. Let us explain how one can do this. We can see this concept on a daily basis. A person is thinking about the Gemara, and he comes across a difficulty. He stops for a moment to think, and he looks at the Gemara from outside, and then after thinking like this, he returns to entering into the thoughts contained in the Gemara. When a person learns a sugya in Gemara and he doesn t understand the many details, he goes back to the beginning and reviews it from the beginning. Why? A person knows that by going back to the beginning, he can start fresh and get a new understanding. This ability in a person is essentially to return to our inner source of thought. The source of the thoughts is capable of giving us a new understanding of a matter. When our soul returns to this higher place, a new flow of thought is revealed, and through this a person is able to understand that which he didn t understand until now. If a person is learning the sugya and he feels very lost in all the details, he feels like he can t think anymore. What is the solution for this? He should return again to the beginning of the sugya and start from there. This will give him a more general view of the sugya, and from

80 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 79 there he can start again fresh to think into it. Slowly, more and more, he can reach his innermost point of thinking. But what happens usually? Most people, as soon as they go back to the beginning, immediately attempt to think very deeply into the details of the sugya. (Whatever details they don t think into is not because they are using the inner source of thought, but because they are simply lazy to think deeply.) When people do this, they are only thinking in order to enter deep into the thoughts and they lose the ability to be above thought. This is how many people learn: they think into the details, again and again. When they feel like they can t think anymore, they go back to the beginning and immediately think deeply again. This is the kind of learning which is very common, even among those who have merited to learn with tremendous dedication. Even if people aren t totally aware that this how they are learning, it is still taking place. Don t Lose The General Picture There is a deeper solution which can help one understand the sugya, and that is for a person to leave his thinking alone sometimes. This is a very subtle point in our soul, because usually when people choose not to think into something, they end up spacing out. In fact, this is what happens to most people when they are learning, they are not really applying most of their thinking, and they are thinking about all kinds of thoughts that have nothing to do with the Gemara. Their thoughts wander to all kinds of areas. One second a person is learning the Tosafos, and a second later he s thinking about something else totally unrelated. We don t mean to discuss the problem of thinking extraneous thoughts. We are describing a power in our soul to be above the thoughts, for a good purpose a kind of thought which surrounds one s essence. We are saying that as a person enters his thoughts, there is a part in his soul which at the same can be above the thoughts and have a whole different view. This ability in the soul is very subtle, and it is dangerous for someone to use if he isn t there. If someone isn t there, and he tries to use this ability, his thoughts will just wander to all kinds of wrong places. But if a person does reach this ability to be above thought, the fact that he doesn t think will actually give his thoughts room to expand. With the first ability of thought to be deeply immersed into the thoughts the whole concept of it is to be totally in it, and to leave the thoughts here is essentially spacing out. But with the second ability of thought

81 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 80 being above the thoughts the person is outside the thoughts, and he doesn t enter into the thoughts. The ability to be above thoughts is found by every person, each to his own level. We will give an example. There are people who, as soon as they begin to learn the sugya and they read one line of Gemara, immediately begin to think in-depth. Then they proceed to read the next line of Gemara, seeing if it fits into what they just discussed and they find that it doesn t fit in to what they just thought about. This is a simple kind of mistake that people make, but we aren t discussing this kind of mistake. We are discussing a deeper kind of mistake. A sensible person first learns the sugya on a basic level, and he doesn t get into any questions or answers he has. He gets the general picture of what is going on in the sugya, and after that he goes back to the beginning and now thinks into it. This is like what Chazal say, Learn it and then explain it. 37 He first amasses the general information and is aware that it is only the beginning, and only afterwards does he begin to think. He uses all the information in front of him as a tool to get to the details that he uncovers through his thinking. This is the lower ability in the soul to amass information, and it is revealed by almost everyone. Everyone clearly recognizes what this is. What happens when a person enters into the details? He has built the details upon the general information, but does he remain with the general view on the sugya (which is above the details)? Usually not; this makes a person lose his source of thought. What can a person do about this? There is a more inner method to learn with, which is more truthful. This is to use both abilities at the same time: a person at the same time can be on the outside and on the inside of the sugya. To illustrate this idea, there was a story with the Baal HaTanya 38, that one time he was learning with his son, and a baby in the house started to cry. The Baal HaTanya heard the baby crying and ran to go take care of him, while his son was so immersed in learning that he didn t even hear the baby crying. When the Baal HaTanya returned, he gave his son rebuke for not noticing that the baby was crying; he told his son that such behavior comes from mochin d katnus, an immature state of mind. 37 Shabbos 63a 38 Rav Shneur Zalman of Liadi, founder of Chabad Chassidus

82 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 81 What lesson was he trying to teach him? What is wrong with being so immersed in learning? The Baal HaTanya was also immersed in learning, but he wasn t too immersed. He was able to be a little above the thoughts also as he learned, and thus he was able to hear what s going on the outside. The Baal HaTanya therefore rebuked his son for being too immersed in learning, because he felt that if you don t hear a baby crying because you are learning, it must be that you have lost your inner source of thought by being too involved in your thoughts. There are two abilities in us to think thinking of our Neshamah, which is to enter into the details, and thinking of our Chayah, which is to remain above the thoughts, the general picture of the information. (Most people would hear a baby crying as they re learning, because they re anyways not so immersed in thought ) Even when a person is immersed in his thoughts, he has to still be aware of what s going on in his surroundings not in the simple sense, but rather because he has to make sure he doesn t lose his source of thought. When a person learns Torah, he must make sure that his thinking isn t being confined too much to what he s thinking about. His thinking has to also come from his inner source of thought, which is to be able to see the general view of the sugya, like he s on top of it and seeing it all from above. Although a person has to think into the details as well, at the same time one has to make sure that it isn t affecting his senses and his ability to be above the details. The Difference Between Higher Chochmah and Lower Chochmah This inner source of thought, seeing the general picture of the information, is the perfected kind of Chochmah which we spoke about in the beginning of this chapter. We explained that the lower part of the mind uses lower Chochmah, Tevunah and Da as, while the higher part of our mind uses higher Chochmah, Binah and Da as. Lower Chochmah is the knowledge one receives from his teachers. With lower Chochmah, a person doesn t uncover the information from within himself; he has not yet arrived at his inner source of thought. He only has what he has heard from his teacher, and in that he immerses himself. But the higher Chochmah, which is to actually see the wisdom, comes from an inner source. Wisdom comes from ayin (nothingness). Since this is so, if a person constricts himself to what he is thinking, he loses his source of thought.

83 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 82 This is really the huge difference between lower Chochmah and higher Chochmah, and now what we spoke about in the beginning take on greater clarity. Higher Chochmah sees the actual information. If a person constricts his higher Chochmah to what he s thinking, he loses the inner source of thought. Lower Chochmah does not come from the source of the thoughts, so it doesn t constrict the soul when a person is immersed in it. Allowing The Thoughts To Expand These two abilities the inner thoughts and the outer thoughts are supposed to give us a whole different way of living. For example, there are people who always learn Torah whenever possible, but only from a sefer. Such a life limits a person to only think when he has a sefer in front of him. This is a total confinement to the soul. There is a better way to learn, and that is if a person gets used to thinking even when there is no sefer in front of him (and even when he has a sefer in front of him, he should also learn to think outside the sefer), and then his thinking isn t limited to the words he sees in the sefer. But the person still has a disadvantage, because he is still using his memory to remember what he has learned, and this still limits his thinking to the words he saw. Even if he s not limiting himself to the actual words he read, he is still limited to whatever details he gathered until now. But there is a deeper way to learn: a person should allow his thoughts to expand, by giving his thoughts some space in other words, not to think at all about any details, and instead just to remain focused on the general, undetailed view of the information. This method is dangerous for someone who isn t involved in learning Torah, which are deep thoughts. If a person doesn t think about matters that have to do with Torah, who knows where his thoughts will wander off to? But if a person lives deeply with the Torah and he wants to make sure his thinking isn t becoming limited, he has to allow his thoughts some space to expand. When a person accesses this inner source of thought, he will slowly begin to see all the details more and more, in a whole different manner than before. The view from above the thoughts can shed a whole new light on the details. Emotions Muddle The Thoughts

84 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 83 We can give another example of how a person limits his thinking and thus comes to bring down his soul level. Intense emotions can be another way how our thoughts become limited. For example, two friends meet each other by a wedding. If they are really close to each other, they might hug and kiss. What happens when they kiss? They become so full of emotion, and as a result, each of them becomes so focused on the other that their thoughts become narrowed. It seems like a harmless act, and that they have merely lost their ability to think for few moments because they have become so emotional and filled with love for each other. But really they are each losing their ability to think properly when they do this. If a person reaches a situation in which he can t think properly, he loses his inner source of thought. The same thing can happen if two people are learning with each other. They become enthusiastic in the learning with the heat of Torah, and they feel intense closeness to each other as a result. But this closeness can actually limit each of their thinking and constrict their thoughts. We have to be aware of this, and not let our intense feelings muddle our thinking. Of course, we have to wage war in learning Torah, but everything has its place and its rules. We must make sure that we never lose our source of thinking. The Two Parts To The Neshamah The book Nefesh HaChaim writes that part of our Neshamah resides in our brain, and part of it is on top of the brain. The main part of the Neshamah is on top of the brain it is not inside the brain. The radiance that comes out of the Neshamah is what is found inside the brain. A person is able to make use of the higher part of the Neshamah, which is above his mind, and use it to be able to see details, even though he s not actually straining his mind to think into the details. It is a much more inner kind of view on things, even though it is a view from the outside of the mind. It is not that the person is seeing it from the outside in the superficial sense. It is instead that a person can get a better view to what s going on the inside of the thoughts by viewing them from the outside. Sometimes a person is learning and he comes to a question which he cannot answer. What can he do? He should leave the thoughts and go above the thoughts the source of the thoughts. In other words, he should leave his deep thinking into the details of the sugya and

85 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 84 instead return to the general, undetailed outlook he has on the sugya and from there, he might even come to finally see the details. Using Both Abilities At Once All the time, we need to make use of both abilities at once to be immersed in the thoughts, but to be outside of them at the same time. We need to be in the sugya, as well as to be on the outside of the sugya. Each of these two views gives us advantages that the other doesn t have. One of the Sages said, I have seen those who ascend, but they are few. 39 Those who truly grow high in their service to Hashem have in them a first floor and an upper floor, so to speak. A person, through his thoughts, is able to live in both at the same time. Usually we think that those who ascend in service of Hashem are people who strive always to grow higher spiritually, and this is true. But there is more depth to it. Spiritual growth is really to use the two abilities of thought at the same time. On one hand, a person explores the details of something, but on the other hand, a person can live in on an upper floor in his mind and see from above. These two abilities deep thoughts, and above the thoughts -- are two different ways to look at everything. With these two abilities, a person is able to view the Jewish people as a general whole, as well as in detail. They need to be balanced, and the balance between the two views depends with each person, but the point is that we have both of these abilities. Coming Out of Your Private Existence When a person lives like this, he will find that he doesn t want to become limited to his private life. For example, the world will last for six thousand years. Most people only think about their own private lives. How can a person think about the Jewish people as a whole, and about our six thousand year world? 39 Sukkah 45b

86 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 85 On one hand, there is a well-known statement of the Vilna Gaon that when a person learns Torah, he must think that there is nothing else in his world except today, right now, and the page of Gemara he is looking at. This is really describing the lower power of thought in our soul, in which a person can become totally immersed in thought. But on the other hand, there are higher thoughts which we must uncover. This is the meaning of realizing how this world will last for six thousand years we must realize that besides for the page of Gemara in front of us, there is a six thousand year world in other words, we should recognize that the Torah is very vast and goes beyond the current moment. These are two opposite forces within us: higher thought and lower thought. If a person only uses the higher thoughts, he usually will lose the power of lower thought, which was the kind of thought that the Vilna Gaon described. A person who is truly involved in spiritual growth knows how to use both abilities at once.this is essentially the two different kinds of Chochmah which we spoke about earlier: on one hand, a person is able to be very immersed in the details, but a second later he is able to live in the general view which is not detailed. These are two places in the soul. Even in the details, a person is able to find a place in the soul where he can see the details from the outside.these two abilities need to be balanced -- in life in general, and specifically, in learning the Torah. Each person is different in how much balance between them is needed (as we said before). When a person learns Torah, first he gathers together all the details. We can find people who are very bright in their Torah knowledge, and they know how to connect together different parts of Torah, which at first glance seem to be unconnected. From where does this ability in people come from? If a person only sees details, he only knows how to compare information, but he doesn t know how to connect them. But when a person reaches the view from the inner source of thought the ability to be above thought -- he can connect all the details in the Torah. Living With the Inner Source of Thought The words here are not close to home by many people, and this is because most people are not thinking enough about Torah thoughts. But we should know that the whole essence of a Torah life is to think about Torah. If a person isn t involved in learning Torah and he attempts to become a more thinking person, he will fail! But if a person takes his thinking and brings it into the world of Torah, he will eventually be able to uncover a new kind thinking the inner source of thoughts, which is above the thoughts. These inner thoughts will penetrate into his regular thinking, and it will be like a

87 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 86 revival of the dead. Just like Hashem will revive the dead in the future with dew, so is there a spiritual dew in our souls which can revive us the thoughts of Torah. Only through first thinking in Torah can it become possible for a person to build up his world of thought and uncover a constant inner source of thought. Inner Silence Now we will come to complete this discussion and see the whole picture here. There is a rule known as klal, perat and kelal general rule, exception, and general rule. First, there is a general rule that leads us to a specific thought, and from there we can arrive at a higher kind of general idea. In our soul, a person can reach this when he finds within himself a place that is above thought. Chazal call this a time of desolation. It is a place in a person in which he reaches a total inner silence. From this inner silence, a person is able to arrive at a greater view of something, and from there he can enter even more inward. It s not something you think about, because by definition, it is above thought. It is a perspective that comes to you the more you have learned how to avoid getting too involved in the details, and you instead remain focused on the general picture of what s going on. This is the goal of building up our minds. Wisdom is found in ayin (nothingness). Ayin is when there is nothing going on. On a more basic level, ayin is when a person first sees the general picture of something without the detail, just its basic rules. Even lower than this level is when a person goes into the details, all the way until the last detail. To give the complete picture, the lowest level of our thoughts are to think about the details; higher than this is to think into the general picture. Both of these are the lower kinds of thoughts. Higher than this is the point of ayin in the soul, which are the inner thoughts that are above the thoughts. These are the kind of thoughts which you don t think about, because they are an inner perspective that can come to you. We have mainly been describing this in this chapter. Higher than the inner thoughts (ayin) is our actual d veykus (attachment) with Hashem. That is the complete structure to our minds not just regarding our mind itself, but even above the mind all the way to the innermost source of the mind. Sensing The Reality Of One s Thoughts The concepts here can only work for a person and affect him if he is aware of the world of thought, in a palpable sense.

88 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 87 When a person has palpable thought, he lives with clarity of what he is thinking. This is when a person realizes that just like he can leave one room and enter into another, so are there different rooms in his thoughts in which he enters and leaves. The description we have been describing until now is essentially about leaving one kind of thought in our minds and entering a different kind of thought, all the way until the place in our soul that is above our thoughts. These are not merely intellectual discussions, but something which we can experience, as real as can be. Rav Chaim Vital (in sefer Shaarei Kedushah) points out that a person shouldn t disregard his various thoughts as nothing important, because thoughts are the way that a person travels on to becomes close to Hashem. Thought has to be a palpable reality to a person. This goes so far to the point that there are even certain birds that can become born just by looking at their eggs and thinking about them. We need to absorb this concept: thought is something that is a very palpable reality. After knowing this, we can actually begin to see the movement of our thoughts and where they are going. It s two steps. First we need to realize that thoughts are a reality, and then we need to realize how to direct them and work with them. Just because we have the first step doesn t mean we have the second step, just like a person can know that he has a machine, yet he doesn t mean he necessarily know how it works. It is absolutely necessary for us to consider thoughts a palpable reality if we are to understand any of the concepts here. Only after digesting this basic fact can we proceed to work on actually directing our thoughts in the ways we have described in this chapter. Resting the Thoughts Thoughts move. Just like a person has no rest if he wanders from place to place, so does constant thought disturb one s peace of mind. Our minds need some rest. What we have been describing until now is not only about how to move our thoughts, but also how to bring them to rest as well. That is really the goal over here to arrive at inner peace. How do put our mind to rest? When we think into details, we rest the mind by thinking about the general, undetailed picture. When we think about the general picture, we rest the mind by not thinking at all, which is our ability of ayin. Finally, we put our ayin of the mind to rest when we get to the goal, which is to connect to the Creator. All of this is an inner language which cannot be expressed verbally to its full impact. These are heart matters, which cannot really be described by mouth. But these matters are absolutely real, no less real than the world we see. In fact, they are even more real than the

89 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 88 physical world we see. When a person realizes this, he can use his thoughts to achieve utter calmness, and from there he can connect to Hashem.

90 1.8 Connecting To Your Decisions Getting to Know Your Thoughts 89 Summary: We have begun to discuss the two modes of thinking mochin d gadlus and mochin d katnus. In mochin d gadlus, the higher mode of thought, a person is able to use three different abilities: Chochmah, Binah and Da as. The higher kind of Chochmah is when one sees the wisdom in something. The higher kind of Binah is when one understands what he sees. The higher kind of Da as is when one connects himself to this information. In mochin d katnus, the lower mode of thought, the abilities of Chochmah, Binah and Da as are lower. The lower Chochmah is the knowledge that one receives from his teachers, the lower Binah is to understand something based on another thing (which even children can do), and the lower kind of Da as is to weigh out the information. The Two Kinds of Da as The lower kind of Da as is to weigh out the information and decide what to do. This is essentially to use one s imagination by comparing information, and then deciding what to do. This is when a person makes a mental decision in his mind what the information means; he doesn t necessarily connect to it. But when a person uses the higher Da as, he actually connects to the information. The higher kind of Da as really comes from the state that existed before Adam sinned. Before the sin, Da as was used to connect, like we find by Adam and Chavah, And Adam knew (yeda, from the word Da as) Chavah. Rashi explains that over here, to know means conjugal relations; in other words, Da as, to know, is to connect. In order for a person to know how to use his higher Da as, he first has to make use of his lower Da as. If a person tries to jump to the higher kind of Da as before he develops his lower Da as, he will harm his mind. This is because he doesn t know how to connect properly, and he won t know how to avoid connecting to what is evil. Therefore, first we must learn how to use lower Da as, which is to weigh the information. We need to sift out the bad from the good in the information we encounter, and after that we can use our higher Da as to be able to connect to the good in the information. The lower kind of Da as is to be able to weigh out information and decide what it is. Just like a manager of a company makes accepts certain decisions about the company, so does a

91 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 90 person have an ability to decide about matters in his own life. The person doesn t connect to the information; it isn t yet a part of him. He simply decides what it is. Just like he decides for himself, he is also able to decide for others. When a person reaches the higher kind of Da as, he actually lives by each decision he makes they are not just decisions he is aware of, but something he connects to. Someone who lives with his higher kind of Da as is connected to what he learns; his learning emanates from his essence, and the knowledge that he has is what he is. His knowledge in Torah becomes a natural part of him. As we said before, there is a great danger to using higher Da as, and that is if a person never yet developed his lower Da as. If a person doesn t know how to sift out the bad from the good in something he encounters, and he connects to this knowledge as it is, then he is apt to connect to something evil. But if a person first develops his lower Da as and then his higher Da as, he is able to connect in the proper way. The discussion here mainly is mainly about building up how we think when it comes to learning the Torah, and this is the root of the matter. But the goal of all this is to affect our whole life in general. For now, we will focus on how lower and higher Da as affects our learning. When a person only lives with the lower kinds of Chochmah, Tevunah and Da as, he isn t really connected to what he does. It could be that he knows how to weigh out all the information very well and come to decisions, but his learning isn t a part of him; it s all happenstance. His decisions are only superficial he is outside of them. But when a person lives with the higher thoughts Chochmah, Binah and Da as, then his Da as is higher, because he uses his Da as to connect to what he knows. He is able to transform whatever he learns into a part of his essence, like Chazal 40 say, At first, the Torah is called by the name of Hashem, but in the end, it is called by the person s name, for it is written, The Torah of Hashem is his desire, and in his Torah he thinks about day and night. With the higher Da as, a person connects to what he knows, and the Torah he learns goes from being Hashem s Torah to become his Torah, so to speak. Constant Thought Makes Use of our Higher Da as Before, we spoke about the ability to have constant thought. Now this concept takes on greater clarity. If a person is still at the lower mode of thought, what does he think about? He is all the time weighing out information and deciding. It seems like he s always thinking, but if you 40 Avodah Zarah 19a

92 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 91 think about it, he s not really thinking he s trying to have constant thought, but in actuality he s not. The ability of constant thought can only be with one whose thinking is part of his essence. If it s not part of who he is, it s just happenstance, and even if he does always think, it s just by chance. It doesn t come from his real self. When a person learns Torah and he remains at the lower mode of thought, he is not connected yet to his learning. He might know how to make decisions with the options in front of him, but he isn t yet connected to the power of constant thought. Even if he thinks all the time, it s just that he s forcing his brain against its nature in order to think. The brain by nature isn t able to always think, so if anyone is attempting to always be in a constant frame of thinking, he s straining his mind beyond its limits. (The truth is that there is such a concept that one must strain his mind beyond its normal capacity to think, and this is the whole meaning of self-sacrifice for the Torah.but this is probably not the case of one who is straining his mind to think all the time.) Constant thought can only come from being in the higher mode of thinking, which is connection to one s knowledge. It is not possible with the lower mode of thinking, in which the Da as just decides of the information but doesn t connect to it. If someone is at the lower mode of thought and he attempts to have constant thought, there are two possibilities that will happen: either he will greatly purify his mind, or he will fail miserably, because it is impossible for him at this point to have constant thought. Constant thought is only possible when a person lives and feels what he sees. Constant thought comes natural to the higher mode of thought, in which the Chochmah really sees the information, the Binah reflects into it and the Da as connects the person to the knowledge. Without the higher Da as of knowing how to connect to one s knowledge, constant thought is impossible, and when one attempts to have constant thought without higher Da as, he takes kind of takes this ability prisoner. Such constant thought won t be of any help to him. Only when the constant thought is coming from a higher place in the mind can a person use it to always be connected to his learning. The only way to really connect to one s Torah learning is through the higher mode of thought; this is how the Torah becomes a Torah Ohr a Torah of Light to a person; one s Torah learning becomes natural to him when he makes use of his higher mode of thinking. A person must accept the burden of Torah, but it will only be a burden upon him when he is at the lower mode of thought. Once a person has the higher mode of thought, he connects to his learning, and it is no longer a burden upon him.

93 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 92 The Lower Da as: Deciding Without Connecting Until now we have discussed how lower and higher Da as applies to our learning. Now we will try to broaden this concept to all areas of life, but the root of the matter stays the same; it s the same exact idea. With the lower kind of Da as, the power of decision, a person just decides, but the information is all on the outside of him; the information isn t a part of him. It s even possible that a person learns Torah all day and is even a posek (a recognized authority who renders Halachic decisions to others), yet this isn t who he is; he is just being an intellectual with the Torah, and he isn t really connected to the Torah. He might very well just know it is as information in his head, and he can even quote all the opinions but his learning is not yet a part of his essence. But when a person has the higher Da as, all knowledge in his life becomes a part of his essence. A person at the lower mode of thought will often decide about things that are way above his level. He can listen to, he can analyze, and he can weigh out all the knowledge and then he immediately decides what s correct. He is deciding about concepts that he hasn t really understood yet, and this is because he is not really connected to the knowledge at hand. He is deciding according to how he understands. Such a person thinks that he can decide on just about anything, (unless he knows with certainty that he doesn t know something). In his mind, he is able to decide about anything he has learned about or touched upon. But with the higher mode of thought, a person is able to take his decisions and actually connect to them. When he has to decide something, he doesn t just decide about it he connects to his decision. As a result, he won t decide on something he doesn t understand. He will also realize that even things which he can understand that he doesn t always understand them fully, and thus he knows that he can t connect yet to his decisions. If a person arrives at the decision from his connection to what he knows, only then can his decision be coming from a true place in himself. It is a whole different kind of decision. With the immature kind of deciding that a person does using his lower Da as, the person decides simply if he should do something or not. With the higher Da as, there is also a decision involved, but the decision is viewed more like a garment that over the essence of the decision, which is the connection to the decision. The higher kind of deciding is that a person decides if he should connect to the decision or not. To give an example from the physical world that explains the concept, if a person wants a hot cup of tea, first he tastes a little bit to see if it s too hot or not to drink. This seems like

94 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 93 the basic kind of deciding, which is lower Da as. But really, it is similar to the higher Da as, because it is a decision if the person will connect to the decision or not. He s not deciding merely if he should do it or not he s deciding if it s worth it for him to connect or not to what he has decided. It s a whole different kind of decision. My Hearts Tells Me So We can give many more examples of the concept. Many times Rashi writes, My heart tells this to me. The Rambam writes, It appears to me so. With our great teachers like Rashi and the Rambam, they only said something if they felt connected to it. It wasn t a regular kind of decision. Even more than this, it could be that a person s intellect tells him one thing, while the heart is saying something else entirely. A person s intellect might tell him that something is okay, but the heart feels that something just isn t right over here. This is a higher kind of decision when one decides if he should connect or not to the knowledge. When a person just decides using his lower Da as, it s only an issue of well his decision makes sense or not. It s a decision and nothing more. But the higher Da as is when a person decides from a higher place within himself; here, the whole issue is if I will connect myself to what I have decided, or not. To give another example, it is possible that a person decides what the Halacha is, and he clarifies to himself if it is just a stringency, or if it s actual Halacha and then, astonishingly, he just doesn t act upon what he has learned. If you ask such a person, Why aren t you practicing what you preach? he will be unable to answer why not. He tells other to do like what he decided, but he himself doesn t do it. What is his problem? He lacks the ability to connect to his decisions. In previous generations, it would happen that when a great Jewish leader was in middle of writing a conclusion about a certain religious issue, the pen would shake as he were writing it, and then he would discontinue what he was writing. Later it was found that the truth was different from what he was about to write. This was because although the great figure had come to a decision, he found that in the end, he couldn t connect himself to what he was about to write down. This was the ability to be able to decide if he should connect or not to the decision. Deciding To Connect All of us go through countless decisions each day; are we simply deciding things, or are we connecting to our decisions as well? Usually, people are just deciding and weighing out

95 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 94 information, but to act upon it is a different story. We will give several examples of how we can see this. A person wants to buy an apartment; he checks it out from all angles, considers the pros and cons of it, weighs all the information he has on it and then decides to buy it. But this kind of decision is still only the lower Da as. Really, what he should do is to also imagine what it s like to live there, and then he might discover afterwards that it s not so simple to take the apartment. This doesn t mean that a person has to always go against his initial decision. Even if he ends up buying the apartment, the point is that he needs to think about possibilities that will bother him about it, and to know how to deal with those nuisances. The point is that a person shouldn t just decide so rashly, and instead to see what it s like when you think about if you should connect to your decision. Some parents force their children to eat what they don t like, and their attitude is: What s the difference if my child doesn t like this kind of food? This is what he has to eat, and it s healthy. Although it is true that children must eat healthy food, and that no one should just give his children just what they love to eat, still, in being so rigid like this, the parent is denying the child his power to connect to his own decisions. People often feel that it s wrong to go after what you like, because they think this is considered gluttonous. But really, what we desire is something to consider. Obviously, we should not indulge in our desires, but to a certain extent, the things we like must play a role in our decisions. It is impossible to give an exact decision to how much outlet we should give to what we desire, but it is a point that has to be brought up and considered. Usually, to give up on what we like takes away our inner peace, and we don t feel good inside when we deny ourselves what we desire, because when we suffocate our desires, we are acting way above our level. Balancing Our Self-Control With Our Ability To Connect Many times, people disdain their very power to connect to their decisions (and thus they don t trust their own decisions), because they know that their will to connect comes from a place in themselves that hasn t been purified yet. This is a truthful point. Chazal indeed say that one should only learn Torah in place where his heart desires. Chazal 41 indeed say that a person should learn Torah where he likes, but that doesn t mean that he should learn in the street if he feels like learning there. One s power to connect needs to come from the right place in the soul; it is not simply a desire. 41 Avodah Zarah 19a

96 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 95 Anyone who is capable of thinking at least a little knows that we can t listen to every inner feeling we have for something. If a person feels very strongly about something, it could be that he is mentally bribed, and the solution for this is to weigh out the information well and then decide. If his soul is more purified from personal interests, he will be able to come to a true decision, and he will be able to ignore his desire to connect to something. This is all true, and it is commendable to do so. We cannot base our lives on what we want and what we like, or else we will destroy ourselves. But although this is true, it can also present a problem, in that we might come to always ignore our power to connect to our decisions, in situation when we really should. The more materialistic a person is, the more personal desires (negios) are going on inside him. If a person is on that level, then he needs to decide more than to learn how to connect. But if he has purified his soul more of personal interests, then his decisions will mainly be about if he wants to connect or not to the decision. We Cannot Trust Our Feelings It is indeed a difficulty that a person needs to solve: If one does have a will to act upon his decision, does this come from the right place in his soul? How can we know this? Obviously, a person should not decide simply because he wants to connect to what he has thought about. That would be a recipe for failure. What then is the solution? Let us repeat and stress again that if a person hasn t yet cleansed his soul of personal interests (negios), then he cannot even decide properly on a basic level, and he definitely will act incorrectly in trying to connect to his decisions. A person needs a pure heart in order to connect to what he decides; if he has purified his heart, then his will to connect to what he decides is coming from the right place in himself. Without purifying the heart, a person is in danger if he acts upon his decisions; he will live life based on whatever he feels, and he might come to transgress the whole Torah with the excuse of, This is how I feel. When a person comes up with two possible options about something and he is trying to decide what to do, he needs to figure out if his will is coming from a pure place in his soul or not. We cannot trust our feelings. To give a dramatic example, there are people who murder, and when they are caught, they defend themselves by saying: What have I done wrong? The world is a better place without this person. That s how murderers justify themselves: This is what I felt like doing. I felt I was right for killing him.

97 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 96 When we go through life based solely upon our feelings, without weighing out the information in other words, when we let our feelings run our decisions then there will be a sure disaster to our minds. How Can We Know How To Decide? The question is: how do we reveal our power to connect to decisions, while making sure that this is truly coming from what we have decided? There are two possible methods how we can do this. One way is that after deciding, only then can you allow your emotions to play a role. This doesn t mean, however, that you shouldn t do it at all if you feel in your heart that you don t want to connect to the decision, because in the end of the day, you have still decided from your feelings if you should do it or not. So what do we mean? What we mean by this is that is if you decided not to do something, then just because your heart feels that you want to connect to the decision, it is not a reason for you to listen to your heart. You have decided no, and that s final; don t allow your heart to tell you otherwise. But if you decided to do something, you can let your heart connect to what you want to do, and then, see what you feel about it. However, there is a danger to this method, and that is because there might still exist personal interests in you which will hamper your ability to decide properly. Even if your decision is correct, your heart s desire to connect to the decision may be coming from the wrong place in your soul which has some personal interests that are impure. Your mind can know very well what the truth is, but the problem is that the way you are connected to it is coming from an unclean place in the soul. There is thus a second possible method that is better to use, and that is to make for yourself two equally possible options in front of you, and then you decide. For example, you are not sure if you should live here or there, or you are not sure if you should learn in one yeshiva or a different yeshiva. Let s say you weigh each option, and you see that they are both equal options to consider. What should you do now? Now, you should allow your emotions to play a role. See where your heart s feelings are pulling you towards, and based upon what you feel, you can now truly decide. However, there is a problem in this method as well, because a person has a yetzer hora (evil inclination), and it resides in our heart. The Chovos HaLevovos 42 writes that the yetzer hora is enmeshed in our heart and advises us falsely from our own heart. Therefore, there is always a danger in trusting our emotions. 42 Sha ar 5, Perek 5

98 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 97 Here, we have a subtle inner work to do. We need to try and discern if what our heart is telling us comes from a pure place within that is free from personal interests, or not. If one discovers that his motives are coming from an unrefined place in the soul, then the results would not be so catastrophic, because it also came from the power to decide, and that gives it credibility. The more we refine our souls and free ourselves from personal interests, the more we can decide based on what our heart is telling us (after the initial basic decision, which was the first step in the process). So if we make sure to cleanse ourselves from negios, we can then trust our feelings when we decide upon things. For example, someone might keep many stringencies in Halacha that are not required, but he s doing it all for the sake of pride and honor. He might even ask questions to a Halachic authority and always do what he is told, but it s all because he is haughty and seeks attention from others. Such a person connects to information, but his will to connect comes from an unrefined motive of the soul. Even the answers he gets from the person he is asking may be coming from just the lower Da as of who he is asking, and not from the higher Da as. Our mission is to fuse our higher Da as with our lower Da as we must learn how to become more connected to our decisions. Our connections to the decision must come after we have the initial decision first, we must decide on a basic level, and then, we can connect to the decision. Connection Is Not Based On Feelings, But On Da as Now we will try to explain in simpler terms what higher Da as is. Daas is about connection, but there are levels to how strong the connection to the knowledge is. For example, there are two different ways of connecting to others. One way how people of connect is through a feeling of love for another person, but there is a deeper way to connect to someone else - through Da as. Love itself is an emotion, while Da as is an awareness that comes from our mind. These are two different kinds of connections to others either though our emotions, or through our mind. This sefer is not about middos and emotions it is about our mind. When we speak about having a connection through our Da as, we are thus not speaking about the emotion of love, but about an entirely different kind of connection -- a connection we accomplish through our mind. Most people do not know what connection of the mind is. People usually think that in order to have a connection to something, it must be an emotional kind of connection. For example, a person tastes something to see if he likes it or not, and if he likes it, he eats it; the senses, which are part of our emotions, are how taste food.

99 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 98 Da as is not an emotional connection to something or to someone; it is rather a power of the mind to connect with something or someone, and it is a separate component than the emotions. It is a connection that can be sensed as well by the emotions, but what we are describing here is a connection formed by the actual Da as itself, not the emotional aspect of it. We will give an example to explain it. When a person becomes engaged to get married, he feels a certain love in his heart. If he wouldn t feel this love, he wouldn t want to get married. What are his thoughts when he is engaged to be married? He is bound up with love toward his future spouse. Is this a feeling, or a thought? Does he feel an emotional connection with his future wife, or does he feel a mental connection with her? It is really both at once. The mental connection he has with her is the power of higher daas. Although he s feeling an emotion of love at the same time, the emotional aspect here is only the external layer. The inner layer here is a connection of the mind, which is daas the higher daas. What usually happens by most people, though, is that when they feel love, their Da as becomes limited to the emotions. They get so caught up in the emotional aspect of the love that they don t really access daas, and they are only involved in the external aspect of the relationship. As a result, people usually experience love only through the emotional aspect of it, and not through their daas. But if someone lives in the world of thought, he attributes the source of his connection to the other through his da as, and not merely to his emotion of love. Of course, da as can create a resulting feeling of love as well which can be sensed, but the very source of the connection is the da as. In the words of the Ramchal 43, this is called intellect that has a longing to know. The Vilna Gaon describes it as desire of the intellect. It is a kind of connection with someone/something that comes from one s mind. And my eyes and my heart were there all those days. 44 Only a relationship out of da as is a real connection to another person; we will explain why. Let s say a person thinks he loves someone else, and he has fantasies of love if about that person. This is a sign that all the love here is a mere emotion, and it isn t yet a real connection to the other person. It will not either be a love which will cause a real connection. But when a person uses da as - the higher kind of Da as, which is the ability to connect - he is using his mind to connect to the other person, and it is not just an emotion of love, but an actual connection to the person. 43 Introduction to Derech Hashem 44 Melachim I, 9: 3

100 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 99 To illustrate this, a parent has a certain feeling of love for his child. Why does he feel a love? It is not merely an emotion of love that he is feeling. It is because his feelings love, in this case are connected with his mind. When an emotion becomes connected to the thoughts, the feeling then becomes real. A parent doesn t love his child merely because he has feelings of love to him, but because he is aware of his real thoughts the thoughts which are coming from his higher Da as. Although there is an emotional connection here in the relationship, the emotion of love is not the reason for the love; the emotion of love is rather like a garment covering over the love itself. The actual love itself is the very connection to another person, which is through one s da as. Only da as can cause a true connection with anything. It is a thought that one can sense; it is not just a natural emotion of love that one feels. It is a connection through one s power of thought a connection through Da as. Such a connection is only experienced by one who considers his thoughts to be palpable. If one doesn t consider his thoughts to be that real, then all he can feel is his emotions, and he only knows how to connect to others through his emotions. But when the thoughts are real to a person, he can even feel his thoughts, and he knows how to connect to others using his thoughts, which is a deeper kind of connection than a mere emotional one. When a person is still at the level in which his da as is limited to his emotions, then if you ask him if he likes a certain food and he answers yes, he might be answering from his da as, but it is a da as limited by the emotions. He isn t answering from his true da as, but from da as that has passed through the emotions; it is just that his da as is aware of what he has felt. The Heart s Desire Chazal say that a person should only learn what his heart desires. If you ask a person, What do you want to learn? and he answers I want to learn the entire Tehillim all day, why does he desire to do this? Such a person feels that way because he lacks a willpower to use his Da as and intellect, and all he has is just a little bit of emotions. To learn what one s heart desires means that one has to learn what his Da as desires, and it does not mean for a person to follow his natural emotions. The natural emotions of a person usually don t want to learn Torah, and are inclined to take an easy and comfortable path. With emotions, a person just follows what s interesting to him, and that is what he will desire.

101 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 100 To learn where your heart desires means to feel what your Da as wants. It is da as that can be felt it is Da as of the heart. Just like a person knows if he wants to eat something when it s cold or hot, so can a person know what s good for him or not, when he uses this palpable kind of Da as. Connection Requires Purity of Heart Anyone can identify with the idea of using his Da as to connect. For example, when a person learns in the Gemara about a certain argument, he is able to use his Da as to figure out which opinion he feels more connected to. We should emphasize that this does not mean for a person to figure out which opinion in the Gemara is the correct one, G-d forbid. No one can argue with the Gemara. It is just about how connected one feels to a certain opinion in the Gemara to feel which opinion in the Gemara is more truthful to you. If a person is dealing with something that he is at the same level on with, he can decide on it. This is the time to use lower da as. But if a person is dealing with something he is not able to decide upon, due to his inferiority, then he must make use of the higher kind of da as he must decide if he will connect or not to the information. This ability exists by every person, and it has already been revealed to some extent by all of us, and with every person it differs. An Inner Kind of Life Is Based On Higher Da as We have given many examples of the concept, but the point must be clear: lower da as is when we weigh out the information and decide, and higher da as is to connect to the information. When a person learns Gemara and he sees the many opinions of the Rishonim and Acharonim, and he sees how it s all true even though there are many disagreements going on, then everything he sees in front of him is good to connect to. When a person has such an attitude, he doesn t need to sift out any bad information, because all he sees is good information; he realizes how it is all true. But if a person is learning Gemara and he comes across a difference of opinion, and one of them doesn t make sense to him, then now it is time to make use of his ability to connect to his decisions. He can decide between them and choose which of the opinions is more truthful.

102 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 101 This is the ideal kind of life we should live connecting to what we decide. It is not enough to be able to make decisions. If a person just makes decisions and we don t connect to them, he is a person who just lives with cold calculations. Sometimes we do need to listen to just our intellect, and not to our feelings, but it is impossible to live based just on intellect. A person can be smart, intellectually gifted and very bright but that alone isn t enough to be considered life. Our life is about being connected to connect to our decisions. When a person uses his Da as to connect, his whole learning and his whole life in general will change. He will find himself reviewing his many decisions he has made while learning the Gemara, because since he is connected to his decisions, it is always going through his mind. This is an inner kind of connection to the Torah that comes from within oneself. When a person is connected to his learning, he will see growth in his learning. Either he will discover that he is always reviewing it, or he will find that he is constantly reflecting on it. It might come in the form of verbal review or mental review, but whatever the case, he will see that he has grown and developed in his learning. When higher Da as is accessed, a person is constantly reviewing his Chochmah facts, and he is always thinking into his Binah facts, again and again. One who is still at the lower mode of thought, though, will find reviewing what he has learned to be very bland, because of its simplicity. He knows he must review the material, but he finds it too hard to go over it simply. He will only review it if he reflects on it and thinks into it a lot, or if he decides (using his lower Da as) that he needs to review because he has to remember it. But such review won t come from his essence it is just a superficial kind of decision to review. But with upon accessing higher da as, a person s whole learning will change. He will always find new satisfaction in his learning, whether he is having thoughts of chochmah or thoughts of binah. He is connected to what he learns in a very simple sense. By using the higher da as, a person connects to his knowledge and builds a way to live by. Such a person can be considered to be truly alive.

103 1.9 Taking Apart Details Getting to Know Your Thoughts 102 Binah and Tevunah We have said that there are two systems in our mind: a lower mode of thought, and a higher mode of thought. The lower mode of thought is Chochmah, Tevunah, and Da as. The higher mode of thought is Chochmah, Binah and Da as. At first we spoke about lower Chochmah and higher Chochmah. Lower Chochmah is the knowledge one receives from his teachers. Higher Chochmah is when a person really sees the knowledge. Then, we spoke about lower Da as and higher Da as. Lower Da as is da as d havdalah (to separate information) and da as d hachraah (to decide between the information). Higher Da as is to connect to the information (Da as hamechaberes). Now we will discuss the two kinds of Binah: the higher kind of Binah, and the lower kind of Binah (which is called Tevunah). We spoke about it before a little, but now we will elaborate on it. As we mentioned before, the higher Binah and the lower Binah, Tevunah, are different. Tevunah is to compare one thing to another. When a person compares, he is able to expand the information. Binah, which is in the higher mode of thought, is to reflect into the information and take apart its details. Chazal 45 say that women are blessed with extra Binah, and for this reason a girl is obligated in mitzvos earlier than a boy is. This is because women have a unique understanding an extra Binah. Although Binah is the faculty of the mind used more by women, we aren t only referring to women when we discuss Binah. In every soul, there is a male aspect and a female aspect. So when we say women here, we are really referring to the feminine aspect of every soul (but it is just that the feminine aspect of the soul is usually revealed more by women, and the masculine aspect of the soul is more revealed by men). The feminine aspect in the soul consists of Binah and Tevunah. Binah is a kind of intuitive understanding. Women are blessed with extra Binah, in that they can recognize better the spiritual stature of their guests Niddah 45b 46 Berachos 10b

104 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 103 Tevunah is essentially the power of medameh, which is to either compare or use the imagination. This we can see clearly by women, who often use their imagination. Binah is a higher use of the mind, while Tevunah is a lower use of the mind. This seems to be a contradiction inside a woman (as well as in the female aspect of every soul). If the feminine nature is more prone to imagination, why doesn t her extra Binah cancel it out and show her the real understanding? But the reason for this is because these are two different systems going on in the mind. In the higher mode of thought, we use Binah, and in the lower mode of thought, we use Tevunah. Binah gives a woman an advantage over a man s thinking, while Tevunah creates for her a disadvantage. It depends on which mode of thought a person is at. Binah is only accessed through using the higher mode of thought. Chazal say that women have extra Binah, and this is not coming to say that women have less understanding, the opposite is true. Women have greater understanding in certain areas, and in fact, this is why a girl has to start keeping the mitzvos earlier than a boy has to. In the department of Binah, women have an advantage over men, and they are thus greater in their power of Binah. But the power of Tevunah, which is the imagination, is from the lower mode of thought. This is not an advantage in a woman s thinking over a man s thinking it is a disadvantage. Of course, the lower mode of thought can still remain in a girl even after she matures and is obligated in mitzvos. The point of what we are saying here is that there are two abilities in our mind. There is a higher power, Binah, which women excel at more than men (and in terms of every soul men and woman alike -- the feminine part of the soul, Binah, has an advantage over Chochmah). There is a lower power, Tevunah, which is the power of imagination, also part of the feminine nature; this is a disadvantage to a man s thinking (as well as to the male aspect of every soul). We will try, with the help of Hashem, to expand this discussion. We will try to see the contrast between Binah and Tevunah and how they relate, and then we will see the flip side of these matters. We will open up this discussion by discussing Tevunah, which is the power of imagination. The Way Imagination Works The lower kind of Binah is called Tevunah, when a person compares one piece of information to another piece of information. This is essentially the imagination, and the Vilna Gaon lists it as one of the seventy forces in the soul. Imagination is a power which expands the information.

105 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 104 When a person uses imagination, he is able to come to compare one thing to another. But the imagination, at its root, causes one to picture in his mind that he has the general understanding of the information, as opposed to the details. If a person would really look at the details, he wouldn t make a total comparison between one thing and other. He would notice some similarities, but this would not make him conclude that it s the same. He would see how each detail is unique and can t really be compared to something else. Why do people compare? It is because they usually see a general view of the situation, without entering into the details. When a person just focuses on the general outlook of a situation, it creates imagination. The whole idea of a comparison is to take two things that are different from each other and see how they are similar. But in reality, nothing can ever really be compared. Something might be similar somewhat to another thing, but it s only a little similar, and not more than that. One species of bird might look the same as another bird, but in reality each species is a whole different species of bird, and no two species are the same. They share some similarities and that s it; they are not the same. Why is it, then, that we often compare things? It is because usually, a person focuses just on the similarities, and not on the differences. A person sees one detail that is similar to another thing, and because of this, he thinks that the two things are really the same. Comparing makes a person leave the details and instead just focus on the general outlook of something, all because of a particular detail. Even more so, when imagination is in control, a person doesn t even notice how the details are really very different from each other. Imagination causes one to connect all the information together that in reality has no resemblance. Seeing details is fine, but when a person takes a particular detail and expands it to be more over here, the details go from being details to becoming everything, and this is an inaccurate perception. With imagination, a person doesn t really enter the information he just pictures it. Imagination takes the details out of the general picture as a whole, and blows up the details. This is why when a person imagines something, it seems to him that he has uncovered more information. But really, it is because the details have been blown up, so it appears to look like more information; really, there aren t more details here. If a person would really see the details as they are, he would be able to leave most of his imagination. When a child imagines something, his imagination shows him how one particular detail forms everything, and from there the imagination continues to expand. If a person would really enter the details, his power of Binah would take him out of the imagination and return him to the way things really are, not the way things seem. When a person is at the lower mode of thought, his Chochmah is that he receives knowledge from his teachers. When someone is taught by his teacher, does the teacher tell him all of the Torah he knows? No, he only teaches him some specific details. The student,

106 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 105 who is at the lower mode of thought, thinks that the particular details he was taught is the whole picture. In other words, he creates his general outlook of the knowledge from the details he knows about. In the lower mode of thought, a person has Chochmah and Tevunah; his Chochmah is a specific detail, while Tevunah creates the general view from this. But this creates an erroneous view. Although it is possible for a person to arrive at the general view from the details, that is only if the person is revealing the details within the general view, and he is aware that details are just details that make up a greater picture. But this is not the same attitude as a person using imagination. With imagination, a person takes certain details and considers it to be the whole thing the person exaggerates. When a person compares things, he uses the imagination, which is in the lower mode of thought. When people compare, they compare as long as there is some similarity. Although there is only one detail worth comparing, a person is convinced that the two things are totally similar, just because there is one detail that makes them similar. He s not really focused on the details themselves it is rather because of certain details, he is focused on forming the general picture from them, which is an inaccurate view on the situation. There is one of our human weaknesses, unless we work to uproot it: we are too quick to make comparisons. Chazal also had to explain to us that certain matters are not the same, even though they seem similar because of one particular detail. If not for what they said, we would mistakenly conclude that two things are similar because of a certain detail they both share. This is the mistake which imagination causes. With imagination, a person compares one thing to another because they seem so similar. This is the definition of Tevunah, which is to compare. Tevunah is when a person is viewing his Chochmah through the lens of imagination. But upon some reflection, a person can use his Binah to see how it s only similar in one particular detail, and not as a whole. Really, none of these details can be connected. Each detail is full of many differences that contradict the other details, and thus no detail is similar to another. They cannot be connected, and we need to learn how see this. It seems simply that imagination is rooted in Binah, because with Binah a person also compares the information of the Chochmah. But that is only in the higher mode of thought. In the lower mode of thought, the very Chochmah is being seen through the imagination, which is a false view. We can see this all the time. People look at something and see how it s like something else, and they think it s the same thing. A person sees one particular detail and thinks it s the whole thing.

107 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 106 That is the depth to imagination. If a person takes a look at reality, he will find that he has concocted his own reality, and that it is not the real reality. This is the implication of imagination the lower part of the mind, which uses Tevunah. How Men Think and How Women Think This point is essentially the difference between the thinking of men and women. With the lower mode of thought, a man sees details as just details, and he is aware that the details are just details and nothing more. A woman, though, sees the details as everything. Women by nature see the details more, and they also have a nature to see details as the whole picture. A woman doesn t just look at details as details she looks at the details as everything. This thinking stems from her Tevunah, which is the imagination. (Soon, we will see how Binah, which is in the higher mode of thought, is the opposite of this, and can give a woman an advantage over a man s thinking). There is a deep reason behind this. The first woman, Chavah, was created while Adam was asleep. When people sleep, imagination takes over. If we put together these two facts, it implies to us that a woman was created from a time in which there was imagination. For this reason, Chazal 47 state that one should not teach Torah to his daughter, and if he does, it is as if he taught her foolishness. This is because a woman, using her lower mode of thought, can only perceive Chochmah through her imagination, which is an incorrect understanding of the Chochmah contained in the Torah. The difference between men and women is very apparent and can be seen clearly. A man thinks about one thought at a time, while a woman often jumps from one subject to another in almost the blink of an eye. There is a deep reason for this. It is really because according to a woman s natural understanding, one thing appears similar to another thing. This is coming from her imagination. A woman uses her imagination more to connect various different things to each other and make it all into one. By contrast, a man breaks down the details. As a result, he sees the details as something that makes up a bigger picture; he knows that the details are not all there is to it, but that each detail is a detail to itself that makes up a greater whole. But women, who make use of their imagination more, immediately compare this detail to that detail, and because of this they come to connect all the details. If she would really see what s in the details, she would see how they are all very different, and she wouldn t come to connect them all together. It s not simply that she just jumps from one detail to another very quickly. It is that she connects them all, using her imagination. As a result, she thinks she s dealing with the same thing. If she would be able to differentiate between the facts, she would go back to the details 47 Sotah 20b

108 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 107 and see that they cannot really be connected. (As we said before, man and woman here are general terms and are not specifically about men and women man refers to the male aspect of the soul, which has its way of thinking, and woman refers to the feminine aspect of the soul, which has its other way of thinking). So in the lower mode of thought, Chochmah focuses on the details as they are, while Tevunah sees the details as the whole picture. The Higher Chochmah and Binah Using the higher mode of thought, everything we have just said gets turned around. It is only in the lower mode of thought that Tevunah is not as accurate as Chochmah. In the higher mode of thought, Tevunah becomes Binah, and it is a better view than the Chochmah. Higher Chochmah is when one sees the information. This is to see a general view of the situation, without getting into the details. By contrast, higher Binah sees the details, and sees how all the details connect to form a complete picture. This is why it is called Binah, from the word binyan (to build). Binah, which women are blessed with more than men, is the ability to see details; this is what it means that women are blessed with extra Binah, because women know how to get down to the most miniscule details of something. Chazal say that a woman can recognize the spiritual level of her guests better than her husband can, because she can notice these details, unlike her husband, who only sees the general view. When you see the details, it s a whole different viewpoint you see much more going on. In the higher mode of thought, there is Chochmah and Binah. Here, the Chochmah is more than just the knowledge one received from his teacher; it is to really see the knowledge. With lower Chochmah, a person receives certain details from his teacher detail upon detail. The lower Chochmah is about details. But the higher Chochmah is to actually see it. This is when a person has a general view of the situation that is all-inclusive. It resembles somewhat the level we were on at Har Sinai, when the Torah was given over in its entirety. This ability in a person is to see the general outlook on a situation. It also resembles the ability of Adam who was able to see from one end of the world to the other. 48 The more a person accesses his higher mode of thought, the more he can see this general view. The highest level of this was reached by Adam, who was able to see all the way from one side of the world to the other, because he saw how all the details were all part of one picture. This is also the quality possessed by leaders. A leader sees the general view. Although a person needs to see the details also, the power to lead the public comes from the ability to see 48 Chagigah 12a

109 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 108 the general view. That is why Moshe Rabbeinu is praised for having a good eye 49 ; because he had the general view, he was able to lead. However, there is a disadvantage to the general outlook. Although there is a benefit of seeing the general picture of what s going on, it can hamper one s perception of how he sees details. With higher Binah, though, a person enters the details. Chazal say that there are Fifty Gates of Binah. These are many details which add up to become a general picture. To summarize, in the lower mode of thought, the Chochmah sees details, while Tevunah sees the general outlook. Lower Chochmah is thus a more accurate perception than Tevunah. But in the higher mode of thought, the Chochmah sees the general outlook, while the Binah sees the details so Binah is more accurate than higher Chochmah. For this reason, a man sometimes misses the details in something, because he is used to seeing only from his general view on a situation. A woman often sees the small details, and thus she can recognize the level of her guests better. Higher Binah and Lower Chochmah Now we can see a difference between higher Binah, which sees details, to lower Chochmah, which also sees details. They are two different ways to see details. To illustrate, if you give a child a penny, he thinks that the penny is everything, since this is what he has in his hand. An adult knows that a penny is part of a much larger whole. Higher Binah sees details as part of a greater whole, while lower Chochmah sees details as the whole thing. The Tevunah comes and sees the details as the whole thing, but the problem really started before, in the very Chochmah. The Chochmah saw the detail as everything. We can see people who have very little knowledge about the Torah, yet they think they know the entire Torah. A person knows a few stories in the Torah, like what happened with Pharoah and what happened with Bilaam, and from this little knowledge a person might fool himself that he knows the whole Torah. Why are there people who think this way? It is because they have a problem in which they see details as everything. They are still at the lower mode of thought. Any comparisons they make will be to blow up these details into everything. Even the Chochmah they have learned from their teachers, which were just details, are perceived by them to be everything. But upon accessing the higher mode of thought, a person sees details, yet he knows that the details are part of a greater whole. 49 Nedarim 38a

110 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 109 Havdalah The Power To Separate Information We will now discuss two different ways how to differentiate between information --- one way is through our da as, and the other way is through our Binah. Chazal say that if there is no da as, there cannot be havdalah (separation). 50 Here we see that our power da as comes to separate and split up information. On the other hand, every day we make a morning blessing, He who gives the rooster Binah to differentiate between day and night. This implies that we use Binah to separate information. Which ability do we use to separate information Da as, or Binah? A person is called a bar da as, someone capable of Da as not a bar Binah. A rooster might be a bar binah, but it is not a bar da as. Although the terms of Binah and Da as are frequently used by our Sages in their works when they discuss how to differentiate information, we must determine if it is our Da as which we are using to separate the information, or if it is our Binah which we are using for this. It depends on which mode of thought we are at. In the lower mode of thought, Da as comes to separate between the information and decide. But in the higher mode of thought, Da as is connection to the general outlook seen by the Chochmah and the details seen by the Binah. This is how Binah can be involved with separating information. There is a huge difference between these two kinds of separation. It is clear and simple according to what we have explained. Firstly, to give a very general description, the higher mode of thought sees everything as unified, while the lower mode of thought sees everything as separate. A simple example of this is that a child cannot give birth, and this reflects how a child is immature and cannot connect; a child s whole being is to be separate and to himself. The younger a child is, the more he lives for himself, as we can see at the lowest level, when he is a baby and he doesn t see anyone else other than himself. The more a person lives in the higher mode of thought, the more he lives with unity, and the more a person is at the lower mode of thought, the more he lives a separate kind of existence. That is a clear-cut fact which is very simple. Now we can understand as follows. In the lower mode of thought, when a person separates information, he is totally separate from the information. In the higher mode of thought, when a person separates information, he is grasping onto both of the two ends together, although they are separate. The lower mode of thought is the kind of thinking that stems from the evil eitz hada as, which had in it good and evil knowledge. Thus, the work of the lower mode of thought is to differentiate between what is good and what is evil. But the higher mode of thought is the knowledge contained in the eitz hachaim. Here, the only issue was to choose between one 50 Berachos 5a

111 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 110 kind of good and another kind of good. That is what we do in our higher mode of thought we are differentiating between two kinds of good. When a person has to differentiate between good and good, he s holding onto both sides at once. From this and from this, do not remove your hand. He doesn t mix them together, but he holds onto both. But when a person has to use his lower mode of thought and differentiate between good and evil, he has to decide what is good and throw away the bad. In the lower mode of thought, a person uses Da as d hachraah (to decide) and Da as d havdalah (to separate the information) in order to come out with one side. Such separation is for the sake of separation. The decision comes to seal this separation, but the separation remains. But in the higher mode of thought, a person separates information in the same way that a rooster separates between day and night. A rooster knows of both, and holds onto both even though it has to differentiate between them. If day and night would be mixed together, that would be twilight. The rooster is only separating night and day for now it is holding onto both. This is a huge difference between the two different kinds of separating. Lower Da as separates and decides like one way, while higher Binah separates but continues to hold onto both of the sides. Clarity Is Only Through The Higher Mode of Thought We will describe this in more simple language. When a person learns something using his lower mode of thought, he decides like one way, because that is the way he understands. But with the higher mode of thought, a person differentiates between all the information in front of him, and he is grasping and understanding all of the details. We will explain this. When a person is holding onto a piece of information and he is at the lower mode of thought, his Da as is being used simply to invalidate the rest of the information and thus come to understand whatever is remaining. Lower Chochmah is the knowledge one received from his teacher, and lower Tevunah is to make comparisons in the information. When a person makes the comparison, confusion gets created, and for this a person can use his Da as to clarify and separate the confusion. Tevunah has in it the words ben and bas son and daughter. In other words, there is a son and a daughter going on at once in the information. Tevunah creates confusion. Why? It is because when we compare, we compare things that really aren t similar at all. They might have one specific similarity they share, but that s not enough of a reason to make a total comparison and say, These two things are totally similar. When a person thinks that two

112 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 111 things are totally similar, he has really caused a lot of confusion to a matter, and everything gets all mixed up. Chochmah looks at details not like details, but as the general idea. That is the first point. The second point is the Tevunah, which is aware that the details are the details, and thinks they are connected, so it compares. It leaves its understanding of the details, which was fine, but then it makes various comparisons which are erroneous. It comes and connects the information when really there is no connection. Tevunah, which is in the lower mode of thought, causes confusion and a lack of clarity. Now, a person has to use his Da as and go back to see the details, and after than to decide again. What the lower Da as is essentially doing is to remove the confusion caused by Tevunah. By contrast, the higher mode of thought is clean from this. It is like what one of the Sages said, I see a clear world. All of the information here is in its place. In the higher mode of thought, the Chochmah sees all the information in its place. The only threat here to the thinking is that a person might diverge from his general outlook on the information and come to make mistakes. For this, the Binah comes and shows all the details, and how each detail is in its place. The Da as comes and connects them all together. As we said before, it connects all the information to the general outlook of the information, as well as to notice the differences between the details. It doesn t come to connect all the details to show any one particular detail; it is coming to show how all the details are different. Da as connects it all. It connects the view of the general outlook to the view of the details together. Arranging Information In Order Vs. Taking Apart Its Details Now we can understand better the difference between higher Binah and lower Da as, which seem to be the same thing. Higher Binah is when one separates the information and takes apart the details, which is like deciding between good and good. Lower Da as is when one separates the information and decides, which is deciding between good and bad. They are two different ways of deciding. In the higher mode of thought, a person s Chochmah has all the information arranged properly, but he only sees the general idea as a whole, and he doesn t see how it connects all the details together. The higher Binah comes and arranges all the details as details, so that the person can see how all the details add up to form the general idea. In either of these two abilities, the person sees the details, and the only difference between the two abilities here is how the person sees the details. But in the lower mode of thought, a person is confused when he sees the information, because it s all mixed up. In the lower mode of thought, Binah is Tevunah, and Tevunah

113 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 112 creates confusion by comparing the details to the general view, mixing them up. What happens as a result? When a person uses his Da as to try to differentiate between the information, he doesn t have the properly arranged details, because everything got all mixed up. Here, the work of the person is to use his Da as to go back and see all the details. Da as D Havdalah Let us make these words even more clear. In the higher mode of thought, the details are clear as they are. In the lower mode of thought, a person uses Tevunah, which is to see a mixture of different facts, and the person doesn t even see what the information consists of. To give a simple example, a young newlywed decides to buy a house. He thinks, What s the big deal to buy a house? You just make a phone call and that s it. But when he starts getting down to the details of buying the house, suddenly it becomes very complicating. He sees that there are many factors going on at once to consider. He has to install the right kind of windows. He has to find a new school for his kids. He will have to deal with new taxes. He sees that there are many details which he never fathomed at first. It was only his superficial kind of vision which made him think that it s so simple to buy a house. Here, the work of the Da as in a person is different than what he has to do with the higher Binah. With higher Binah, he saw all the details at once, and all he has to do is arrange all the information and give it order. But with lower Binah Tevunah the information is all mixed up, and it s more than just an issue of how to make order of the information. Here a person has to use his Da as to take each detail of the information and break it up into even more details, so that he can see what the matter is made up of. Let s say a new Rebbi (teacher) walks into his third grade classroom on the first day of school. If he has a superficial outlook, he sees thirty ten-year olds sitting in front of him. But the real way he needs to see them is to see thirty different souls in front of him, and that each of them is vastly different from each other. Each child is a different reality unto himself, and it is the job of the teacher to break down this reality into all its details. Whatever a person encounters, he first needs to see what his initial outlook is on the matter. When he sees that the general information is really all one specific detail, he then should break it down to all its details, and see what it is made up of. There is no end to how much a person can break down the details of a situation; everything on this world is endless. But we need to keep breaking down the details and discover more factors that affect a situation, and each person can do this according to his abilities as much as he can.

114 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 113 Don t Skip This Step Our discussion here about the power of Da as d havdalah is a very important matter that is relevant to most people. Most people skip Da as d havdalah, and quickly go straight to Da as d hachraah. What results from this? The person decides between two possibilities, but he doesn t even know what the difference between the two possibilities are. If you think about it, most people have never really accessed their true free will. Free will is exercised by our lower Da as. The higher Da as is not our free will; it is a connection to what one knows, and it is the kind of knowledge contained in the eitz hachaim (Tree of Life), but it is not our actual decision. The lower Da as, our ability to decide, is a kind of thinking which came as a result from eating from the eitz hada as (Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil) - a mixture of good and evil. Before we can arrive at the higher knowledge, which is connection to the knowledge, we need to first go through a preliminary stage, in which we sift out the bad knowledge from the good knowledge. After we have made this differentiation by taking apart all the details can we truly decide between the options. But usually, people only know of lower Chochmah and Tevunah. People usually only have a superficial kind of knowledge that comes from how others think, and they make various comparisons between one thing and another that aren t accurate. For example, a person goes to a store to buy something. The storeowner shows him different items to buy, and the person hears out the pros and cons of each item. That is lower Chochmah, because he is getting his knowledge based on other s thinking. Then he starts making certain comparisons: My neighbor bought something similar to this item and was satisfied with it, so it makes sense for me to buy this. This is a use of Tevunah. Upon this thinking, the person goes ahead and decides to buy the item. This is something which most people do, and it is an immature kind of thinking. Most of the Chochmah in a person is information which he heard from others, and the kind of Tevunah we use is when we compare two things that in reality bear no resemblance at all. Most people, when they decide to buy something, do so because they compare the item to something else they know of. It s a very subtle matter about how our minds work, but this is the reality of how people usually are. A person doesn t usually buy something unless he compares it to something else he bought that he was happy with. But when a person makes such a comparison, it s a distortion of reality. People skip over differentiating between their options and go straight to make a decision, and there is almost nothing to decide about! After all, the person s comparison has already decided for him that it s the same thing anyway, so why should he decide

115 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 114 A person says to himself, Yesterday I did such and such, so today I will do the same. I don t need to decide about it again. Why should I think about it again? It has already been decided yesterday. But the truth is that many times a person hasn t really decided he only compared this fact and that fact and came up with some erroneous conclusion based on that. When Da as d havdalah is missing, the Da as d hachraah isn t a true decision. Most people actually do not know how to really decide, and they have never really come to a true decision in their life! It is because they don t know how to differentiate between their options; they don t know how to make use of their Da as d havdalah. With Da as d havdalah, a person can see the reality of the details. It is the beginning step to have actual clarity. The final step of having clarity is when a person has the connection to his Chochmah and Binah, but the beginning and initial step to make is to at least notice differences. Let s say a person is given two closed packages, and he is asked which one to choose. He chooses the package on the right, thinking, Well, Chazal say that when in doubt, always take the right, not the left. Such thinking is superficial, because he doesn t weigh his options. Although Chazal say to always take the right path when in doubt, the person still isn t thinking. He isn t thinking from a true place in himself. His decision in such an example is a very weak one. It s scary. If a person really examines himself he will discover that he never really came to a true decision in his life! [Editor s Note: The previous eight chapters before this one dealt with analyzing our minds, and most people will not find them practical because these are lofty matters. But this chapter, which has dealt with Da as d havdalah, differentiating between information and taking apart details is very practical for everyone. We have explained here that a person must be aware of all the details in whatever he encounters. The power of Da as d havdalah applies both to learning a sugya in Gemara as well in our practical, daily life. Many times a person regrets what he did and complains afterwards, I should ve known But if a person uses Da as d havdalah, he is able to check himself and see what his motivations are, and with this he will eventually see success in his life.]

116 Getting to Know Your Thoughts Three Uses Of Our Thinking Three Ways How We Use Our Thoughts If a person is still at the lower mode of thought (Chochmah, Tevunah and Da as), then he only thinks in order to be practical; otherwise, he sees no use in thinking. The higher mode of thought (Chochmah, Binah and Da as) isn t about any action; it is all about thought. The higher mode of thought are kinds of thoughts which don t necessarily lead to action, and its purpose is to learn how think, for the sake of thinking. An example of this what the Gemara says that although a ben sorer u moreh (a wayward child who meets certain rebellious conditions, who must be sentenced to death) will never happen, we should learn about it anyway and receive reward for learning about it. Usually, the rule is that Learning Torah is great, for it brings one to action, but ben sorer u moreh is the exception to this rule; here, a person learns about it even though it won t lead to anything practical. This is an example of higher thinking, which is a thinking that isn t about something that will practically happen, but just to be purely immersed in the thinking about it. Generally speaking, there are two reasons why a person thinks: either a person thinks in order to be practical, or a person thinks for the sake of thinking. On a more subtle note, the higher mode of thought is never practical because it s all about wisdom. It is not only about things that won t be practical, but it is about things that have nothing to do with action at all. An example of this would be the korbonos that were brought by Har Sinai; if we learn about this, we aren t learning about anything that is practical, and we would be learning it just for the sake of seeing the wisdom in it. There are also concepts in Torah which never happened and never will happen; to learn about such concepts truly defines the higher mode of thought. The middle level of thought involves the higher Chochmah, Binah and Da as. These are thoughts about concepts that can happen but don t always happen, such as ben sorer u moreh. The lowest use of our thoughts is when we think only in order to do something. An example of this is what the Ramban writes, that when a person gets up from a sefer, he should think how he can apply this to his practical life. These are the general three kinds of uses of our thoughts.

117 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 116 The Lower Thinking Is All About Actions We will now expand upon this discussion. People, since they were young, usually think only in order to do something. But really, to think just in order to fulfill an action doesn t really use a person s thoughts so much. A child does things quickly; it is not necessarily because he has zerizus (alacrity), but it is because since he doesn t yet know how to think, all he knows of is action. Children often live in their imagination. A child thinks often that he did something simply because he thought about it. Why? The simple understanding of this is that children have a high amount of fantasy in them; that is true, but along the lines of our discussion, it is because of something else: a child only thinks when he has to do something. In a child s mind, thought and action are synonymous. His whole thinking is on the level of actions, so if he thought that he did something, he believes that he really did it. Since a child never pauses to think, he thinks that he did anything he imagined. As a person matures, he learns how to think and he doesn t act so fast. He becomes aware of his imagination, because he realizes that sometimes you have to stop and think before you do something. He is able to differentiate between what is a thought and what is a fantasy, and he knows that not every thought or fantasy can be translated into action. This is because a person s mind matures, and it is no longer bound to just thinking about action. When the mind matures, a person learns that there are thoughts which lead to practicality, and there are thoughts which don t. For this reason, a person eventually realizes that he has to pause a little before he does something and think before he does it, and that not every thought has to lead to acting upon it. A person discovers with this that there are two steps to thought first comes the thought alone, and then comes the thought which leads to action (or not). This is essentially the difference between an immature mind and a mature mind. A child, whose mind is immature, doesn t differentiate between thought and action; it is not because he is on a high level in which his actions have been elevated to the level of thought, but it is rather because his thinking isn t properly developed yet. As a person gets older and matures, he becomes aware that there are some thoughts which don t always lead to action not always because it won t be practical, but simply because it s a thought for the sake of thought alone. The simple example of this is that when a person lives based upon his imagination, he thinks that he can do anything he imagines. Such a person resembles a little girl who sees a doll in the store window and then wants it so badly that she imagines she already has it. In the world of imagination, a person thinks that every thought needs to happen.

118 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 117 As a person matures, he realizes that he can t do everything he thinks and imagines, and that there are things which hold him back. He slowly learns that you have to think before you do something. Thought Is Not Just A Tool To Get By With However, even as people mature, they still don t always think enough. Although people realize that not every thought leads to an action, they only think about to do something or not. People usually view thoughts as a tool to know just what to do and what not to do. Many times we hear even mature adults, who react in such a way upon hearing of a lofty concept: Okay, so how is this practical? If the person doesn t see how it s practical, he says, I m not a philosopher; this doesn t interest me. What does this have to do with me? It s pointless maybe there are people who love philosophy, but I m not a philosophy lover. Or maybe he thinks, This stuff is for people who can t live in the real world, so they run away into their thoughts. Sometimes this is true, and it is possible that a person is living in his mind all day because he d rather not be on this world. But there is a place in our soul which is an ability to think simply for the sake of thinking. We will give a simple example to explain what we are getting at. There are four elements in creation: fire, water, wind and earth. Fire burns, wind moves, water sustains and so forth. If a fire isn t causing something to burn, does that means it doesn t exist? It exists, independent of what it does. Even if it s not performing its function, it still exists. If you have water in a cup which you re not going to drink, the water still exists. The same can be said of our thoughts. When a person is still at the lower state of mind, he doesn t think for the sake of thinking, but only in order to get something done. At this level, a person considers his thoughts to be a mere tool to use, just like we how we need gas to cook; he knows that just like he needs to put on his shoes in the morning and get on a bus, so must he think in order to accomplish things. A more spiritual kind of person considers thoughts to be a more pristine kind of tool he has, a spiritual kind of tool. But even such thinking is still only using the thoughts to get actions done. This attitude still will not help a person reach the true level of thought. To summarize, there are three ways how we use our thoughts. One kind of thought is when we think into what we re doing. A second use of our thoughts is when we think in

119 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 118 order to do something. A third use of our thoughts is when a person thinks only for the sake of thinking. Now we will sharpen this discussion. The Lowest Level: Focusing On What You Are Doing What we are getting at from all of this is that while a person is doing any action, the question is where his thoughts are. There are three possibilities: A) Is he thinking totally about what he is doing? (This is the elementary level.) B) Is he thinking about the purpose of what he is doing? (This is a more developed level.) C) Or are his thoughts a little above what he is doing, even as he does it? (This is the highest level.) There is an even lower level which we aren t discussing, and that is a person who never thinks at all. This is called melumadah (by rote), and it is also called misasek (unaware). We aren t discussing such a disconnection. We are discussing someone who thinks while he does something, and the only issue is where his thoughts are. A person who only has an immature, undeveloped kind of thinking gets too involved in what he does, and he doesn t think about why he is doing it. Such a person tends to act as soon as he thinks upon it. Although it there is a holy power in the soul to be calm and to not think about what will be the power of menuchah (serenity) - this power is evil when a person is at the immature state of mind, because then he becomes too laid back. A toddler doesn t think if tomorrow he will have to go back to playgroup, and he just does whatever his mother says to do. He doesn t think about tomorrow because he doesn t know what it means to worry; he doesn t go to work to earn a livelihood. This is not because the toddler has a high level of bitachon it is simply because a toddler doesn t ever think about what will be. A child only thinks about what he does now. When a person gets older and matures, often his thinking remains the same of when he was a child he only thinks about the future when he has to. There are even some people who never think at all about tomorrow. Such people keep buying things as long as they know there is money in their bank account. They only think about the present moment: Now, I want something. And what will be with tomorrow? Hashem will help When a person s thinking is immature, he only thinks as he does something, but he never thinks as a way of planning ahead. He only knows how to focus on the present moment he ll only think for something that he to do with the present; beyond this moment, he simply doesn t ever think about.

120 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 119 The Middle Level: Thinking About The Goal When a person gets older and his mind is a bit more mature, he learns how to think ahead of time. He not only thinks as he does something, but he thinks before he does something and what will come of this. But even if a person always thinks how he can make his thoughts practical, he never really makes use of his thoughts, because he is only living for this world of action. He only thinks in order to do. Such a person might do everything in order to get reward in the next world, but he still lives for this world of actions. Everything he does is all about what he will get out of it. The Highest Level: Thinking For The Sake of Thinking But when a person reaches the higher state of mind, mochin d gadlus, a person is able to use his thoughts just for the sake of the thought, and not just to get something done. This was the kind of mind that existed before the sin of Adam. The mind which we received from the evil eitz hada as was that now, people only think in order to do something. Adam was cursed with labor. The depth of the curse was that when a person has to work, he only thinks in order to work, but he never thinks just to think. He only thinks when he has to, like when he has to take care of something that has to get done. The simple meaning of the curse was that we were cursed with having to work to make a living, but the depth of the curse was that our mind became lowered to the level of action. After the sin of Adam, a person only thinks only if he should do something or if he shouldn t (unless he develops his mind more in the way we will describe). But there is a higher state of mind which existed before the sin, in which a person simply thinks even where there is no action involved. The Jewish people returned this level at the giving of the Torah, but then we fell from it once again by the sin of the Golden Calf. The Perfect Way To Act There are three levels of thinking whenever we do something. One kind of person does an action, and as he does it, he is thinking totally into it. This is basic, elementary thinking. A second kind of person isn t that caught up in what he does. He thinks into what will come out of what he is doing, and in this way, he isn t totally into the physical act of what he s doing. That is a more developed thinker.

121 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 120 The highest level is when a person s thoughts are connected to a point that is above what he does, even as he does it. Here, the thoughts can be in the upper realms, while his actions are being done down here below. Really, all three kinds of thoughts need to be present when you do something. We are, after all, not living in a world above action we live in a world that involves action. But when we do something, we should be having three kinds of thoughts going on: thinking about what you re doing, thinking about the goal of what you re doing, and thinking about above what you are doing which is really to think about the reason behind why you re doing it. (On a more subtle note, the last kind of thought means to be connected to the upper realms as you do something ) We are not simply coming to discuss three kinds of thoughts in our soul. We have a question which we must ask ourselves: What are we thinking about as we do anything? When a person does a mitzvah and he is only focused on what he s doing, we can say it s his own private mitzvah. That is the lowest level of thought. The middle level of thought is when a person is aware of the purpose of the mitzvah as he does it. Such awareness enables a person to connect everything he does into one collective unit he is connecting all of Creation. Of him it can be said, The mitzvos were not given except to connect all creations 51. The highest level of thought is when a person s thoughts are connected to a point that is above the action. This is essentially the difference between the actions of a Torah scholar and an ignoramus. An ignoramus is called am haaretz, because he is on the earth in other words, all he thinks about are about actions that have to do with the world. But a Torah scholar turns action into thought. He is above the actions, even as he does it. These are the three kinds of thoughts that need to be present as we do something: to actually think about what you re doing, to think about the goal of what you re doing, and to think about the reasons and roots behind what you do (even if this doesn t end up being actualized). These three parts to our thoughts are all necessary. A person should not, Heaven forbid, only carry out the higher thoughts while not carrying out the lower thoughts. The perfect kind of mitzvah a person can do is to have these three kinds of awareness as he does it. A mitzvah has to be done with all its requirements (dikduk) and for this reason, a person must be focused on what he does. If not, he doesn t fulfill it. In addition to this, he 51 Beraishis Rabbah 44:1

122 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 121 must know what the definition of the mitzvah is, to know its many details. Finally, a person must know the root reason of the mitzvah. These three kinds of awareness together are the perfect kind of action, especially when it comes to the mitzvos we do. Wisdom Gives You Vitality If You Are Above The Thoughts Another way of describing what we mean is as follows. The thoughts are located in our brain, which is in our head. The actions we do are carried out by our hands. When a person only thinks in order to do something, he is kind of lowering his head to a lower place in his body his hands. It s like being without a head, because all he focuses on are his hands. We can compare this to Esav about whom it is said, And the hands are the hands of Esav. Esav has no head, so to speak, (and this can also be why his head was cut off when he died.) Esav also embarrassed the first-born rights, because he didn t view it as anything practical that would help him in worldly affairs. A person has a head, as well as the rest of his body. When all a person thinks about is action, he is like a person without a head. Someone without a head is dead. But when a person reaches the higher thoughts, his thoughts are above the rest of his body and he is above that death. The higher thoughts are what is written in the possuk, Wisdom sustains its owner 52. When a person has thought, he is sustained, but if he has lowered his thoughts to the level of thinking only for action, it is like death. The higher thoughts are when a person makes sure that his thoughts are above what he does. Let us stress again that we do not mean, Heaven forbid, that a person s thoughts should only be above the actions. Of course not! What we mean is that a person still has thoughts even as he does something, and he is clearly focused on the goal of what he is doing but he is also a little above the actions. A person who lives this way will be living in a world that is full of life. When a person only thinks in order to get something to do, he is only living on this world of action, which is a world full of death. But when a person learns how to connect his thoughts to a point that is above the actions, he is above this world of action, and it is there that he can really experience what life is. 52 Koheles 7: 12

123 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 122 The Basics of Focusing A fundamental rule is that a person should never think two things at the same time. When a person thinks two things at once, he is scattering his thoughts around. That is a clear rule, but it only applies to a person who is still at the lower mode of thought mochin d katnus, you can t think two different thoughts at once about what you re doing and if a person does, he is totally disconnected. But when a person thinks also before he does something, and what the goal is -- there is no concern of this problem, because this is not thinking two things at once it is rather a combination of action and thought. When a person thinks about why he is doing something, he is not thinking about two separate things he is actually more focused on what he s doing. At the beginning stage, a person is only at the lower thoughts, mochin d katnus. A person has to first make sure before anything that he is only thinking about one thought at a time. Therefore, the very first step one must take is to make sure he s really focused in what he s doing. After this a person must learn how to think about the goal of what he s doing. The final step is to know the reasons behind what you do. In different terms: there are thoughts about our goal, and there are also the reasons behind why we re doing it. Two Kinds of Comparisons Before we explained that there two different kinds of Chochmah, Tevunah, and Da as. In the lower thoughts, there is no Binah, just Tevunah. There are two levels in this: higher Tevunah, and lower Tevunah. In the lower level, a person has Chochmah and Tevunah only in order to do something, and his Da as decides if he should do it or not. In the higher thoughts, a person uses Chochmah, Tevunah and Da as as a means to think about something even though it has nothing to do with any actions it is rather about achieving a certain comprehension. Now we can understand better the difference between the two kinds of Tevunah, which are two different ways how a person compares information. What is the difference between the lower Tevunah and the higher Tevunah? The higher Tevunah is to see the intellectual information through making a comparison, while the lower Tevunah is to compare actions.

124 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 123 In the lower kind of Chochmah, Tevunah and Da as, a person thinks entirely about what to do. Thus, he only compares actions. But with the higher kinds of Chochmah, Tevunah and Da as, a person compares the knowledge he received from his teacher to another kind of knowledge. (This also has to do with action, but the person is focused on the actual knowledge, not the action). This is not only a different kind of Tevunah, it is also a different kind of Chochmah. The lower kind of Chochmah is to receive how your teacher acts. How is a person receiving this knowledge? When a person is at the lower level of thought, he only receives actions of his teachers he sees how his Rebbi acts. He focuses more on the way and expression which his Rebbi gives it over in, not on the actual knowledge itself. In an extreme case, a person will copy his teacher s behavior as of he s a parrot, and he never thinks for himself. If he sees his Rebbi going somewhere, he just follows him It can get to the point that he is doing blind acts of loyalty, nothing that involves any thinking whatsoever.but with the higher Chochmah, a person thinks into what his teacher does, and if he understands it, only then does he act like him. We can give an example that brings out the difference between the two. Two people are listening to a shiur (Torah class). One closes his eyes and listens deeply, because he is focusing on the wisdom contained in the shiur of his rebbi. The other person looks at his rebbi giving the shiur and focuses on how his rebbi looks as he gives the shiur Such a person won t be able to hear the tape afterwards, because he needs to see his rebbi speaking; it is not enough for him that he is hearing the shiur. He never really thinks. He is the type of person to want his rebbi to always explain to him exactly what to do in every situation, because he doesn t want to think on his own. The first kind of person is using the higher thoughts, which is a mental kind of vision. These are called eyes of the intellect. The second kind of person is at the level of lower thought he only understands something when he pictures it very well. The higher Tevunah is to compare knowledge, while the lower Tevunah is to compare pictures. With the lower thoughts, a person uses his Da as just to compare the pictures. The lower Tevunah is like giving a child two pictures and asking him to find the differences. The higher Tevunah is not like this; in the higher Tevunah, a person also compares, but he is comparing actual knowledge, such as comparing two similar halachos and trying to decide if they are the same or not. To wrap up this discussion, in the higher thoughts, Chochmah is not just about what one has received from his teachers. It is to actually see from one s soul and the soul can really see everything. The higher Binah is to see the whole, general information as details upon details. The higher Da as is to connect to the Chochmah and Binah together. Higher than this is the kind of Da as in which a person connects to the Creator.

125 1.11 Mental Vision Getting to Know Your Thoughts 124 Panim and Achor We have so far explained three ways how a person sees something (and a fourth way which is more subtle). There is the higher Chochmah, which is when one makes use of his intellect s vision. There is Tevunah, which is to see based upon comparisons. Then there is the lower Chochmah and Tevunah, which are both physical ways we see with our eyes. To understand more what our mental vision is, we can find the root of this in the Torah. Moshe Rabbeinu asked Hashem, Show me Your glory. Hashem responded, You can see My back, but My face you shall not see. 53 This shows us that there are different levels of how we can see. One kind of viewpoint is panim ( face ), in which we see directly. This is when we see the actual wisdom as it is we see its face. The other kind of viewpoint is achor ( back ), which is to see only the back of the wisdom. It is upon us to understand what panim is, and what achor is. To give a superficial definition, panim is when one sees the wisdom in a more revealed way, while achor is to only see the outer layer of the wisdom. In different terms, though, panim is the essence of the wisdom, while achor is only to see something in terms of how it relates to something else. Achor has the same letters as the word acher ( other ); this shows us that when a person sees only through achor, he only sees it in terms of others he doesn t see what it actually is, but he just sees how it looks in the eyes of others. When a person sees through achor, it s not about what he s seeing it s about the one seeing it. He sees something, but instead of seeing the actual thing, he sees himself in it. By contrast, when a person sees through panim, he sees the essence of what he s looking at. A person naturally grows up seeing through achor, and he never sees the essence of something. In other words, usually when a person sees something, he doesn t really see it! He sees himself in something he sees his own reflection in everything he sees, but he never actually sees what is really in front of him. Three Kinds of Viewpoints 53 (Shemos 33: 18)

126 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 125 There are altogether three different kinds of mental vision: panim b panim, seeing faceto-face ; panim b achor, seeing the face from the back ; and achor b achor, seeing the back from the back. When a person sees panim b panim, he sees face to face. In other words, he sees the actual essence of the person or whatever he is looking at. This is the highest kind of vision, and it resembles what is written, Face to face Hashem spoke with them. The middle level is panim b achor, which is an indirect kind of vision. This is to see another person or another thing as your own reflection; here, you are seeing yourself in someone else. That is why it is called panim b achor, because you are seeing your face in another person s back. Sometimes a person isn t aware of himself so well, but from seeing another person s personality, he is able to recognize himself better. This kind of seeing yourself in someone else is panim b achor. The lowest kind of vision is achor b achor, in which a person sees neither himself, nor the other person his whole vision here is based upon how others are seeing. He is only thinking about what others are thinking about him. The highest perception to view another is panim b panim, which is that when I look at someone, I see his actual essence. The middle level is panim b achor, which is when I use someone else as a mirror of who I am. (A simple example of this is a mirror, which shows a person his reflection. When a person looks in a mirror, he doesn t see the mirror he sees himself). The lowest perception is achor b achor, which is when a person sees in a totally superficial way; when he looks at someone and only sees the superficial layer of the person. Achor b achor also can mean another in another it is just another person seeing another person. The person here isn t seeing the other person or even himself in the other person. Achor b achor is really just imagination it is nothing substantial. When I think about what another thinks about me, or when I think that another person is thinking like how I think of him such kinds of thoughts are all in my imagination. If I think what another is actually thinking about me, then I am thinking about something that is real. But if I think what another is thinking about simply because I am thinking about him, this isn t real it is purely being imagined. Two Levels of Chochmah and Tevunah There is also a deeper way of describing these concepts. The highest kind of mental vision, panim b panim, is really another way of describing higher Chochmah and higher Binah. The middle level, panim b achor, uses the higher

127 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 126 Chochmah and the higher Tevunah. The lowest level, achor b achor, uses the lower Chochmah and lower Tevunah, which is really imagination. These are accepted facts, but we must clarify them to ourselves. Chochmah and Binah is that a person really sees what the other person truly is. It is to see the reality of another person. This is essentially panim b panim. Here, a person absorbs what his teacher really said, as it is. The Chochmah is to see the actual general information, while the Binah is to see the actual details; both are seeing the information as it is. All the details are really hidden in the Chochmah and all of the Chochmah is hidden as well in all the details. This is panim b panim that all of the actual information of the Chochmah is revealed through the information of the Binah, and vice versa. All of the information is contained through either one of them. Although the information is revealed differently depending on if it is Chochmah or Binah, still, all of the information is all here, and each of them reveals what is really in the other. But with panim b achor, a person doesn t see the other person in front of him; he sees himself in the person. Although he isn t really seeing the other person, at least he is clearly seeing his own reflection in the other person, so he is still seeing something substantial. He gets to understand himself better when he sees himself in another person. Panim b achor uses the higher Chochmah and higher Tevunah. The Chochmah here is the actual information that one received from his teacher, but the Tevunah here is just to compare information. When a person compares information, he uses his memory to remember well what his teacher said, but he s revealing the information based upon his own understanding, not upon the actual understanding of his teacher. That is panim b achor, the middle level. Here, the person doesn t see the actual information his teacher gave over he only sees the back of the wisdom here, not the face of the wisdom. But achor b achor uses the lower kinds of Chochmah and Tevunah. Here the person doesn t even see at all what his teacher said he only sees what is being produced from the information. He deduces information from which his teacher taught, or he sees something his teacher did and makes certain conclusions from this. He s not really using real thought here he s just copying pictures into his head. The person here doesn t understand what his teacher did. Even if he does what his teacher did, he is just copying him. He is not being himself. With panim b achor, a person at least reveals what he has received from his teachers. He might be a little off, but at least he has understood his teacher on his own level. But with achor b achor, a person is totally off. He does not understand at all what his teacher has taught or done, and he is just imitating him.

128 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 127 When a person copies someone else s act, there is a way to do it sensibly. This is if he realizes the thoughts that are behind the action, and he uses his intellect to compare the facts. This is the higher kind of Chochmah and Tevunah which we addressed earlier. But when a person just compares actions alone, and thus he just copies whatever his teacher did, he s not acting like his teacher, and neither is he acting like himself. He is essentially doing new things which his teacher never did. This is the very source of a person s downfall when he makes things up. Of course, it s definitely better for a person to try to learn from his teacher s actions than from his own actions, but we cannot remain at that level. So far, we have given a general definition of these concepts. The True Way to See is to Know that You Cannot See the End Now we will try to explain how all of this applies to our soul. When it comes to the physical, this is clearly understood: seeing someone from behind is not the same as seeing someone face-to-face. But in our own soul, we must try to understand what it means to see directly, panim, and what it means to see indirectly achor. Panim, face, can also mean to turn to someone (poneh). The face of the information shows where the information is turning to, where it is going. Achor, by contrast, is to go away from something. How can a person see the panim of something? This is for a person to understand that he can only see the beginning of something, and that we cannot see the end. When a person thinks he has the complete understanding of something, he is only focused on the back of the information, not on the beginning of the information. He is only seeing through achor, not panim. Sometimes a person really does get to the end of a matter, and this is a refined kind of achor. But when a person thinks he understands something in its entirety and really he doesn t, he is seeing through an inaccurate lens achor. On a very subtle note, we must see how everything is endless, because everything is really connected to Hashem, who is endless. So really, achor is always an inaccurate way to see. This is the depth of what it means to see panim b panim face to face. The beginning of any information shows where the information is leading to. A beginning by definition is something which connotes continuation. By contrast, achor is to see how the information has ended. And end is something by its very definition has no continuation. In terms of our mind s vision, achor is to think that we have reached the end of understanding something, while panim is to see where the knowledge is leading up to.

129 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 128 For example, when a person is learning a sugya, there are different things going on his mind. If he is learning it the whole time because he wants to get down to the halacha that comes out of the sugya, and when he finally gets there he thinks that now he has understood the sugya he is only seeing the achor of the wisdom, because he thinks he has reached the end. But if a person begins to learn the sugya and he thinks where he is going with this, he is seeing the panim of the wisdom. This is a brief and simple definition of panim and achor. Applying This To Learning Torah Let us see how this concept applies to learning, which is our discussion the power of wisdom and thought in a person. When a person learns Torah, he has a certain picture in his mind about what he s learning. If he thinks that he s at the end of understanding it, this is achor. When a person understands that with each time he learns he discovers something new, this is panim. Let us sharpen this discussion a bit more. Achor b achor is the lowest way to see, because the person isn t seeing what s really in front of him, nor is he even seeing himself in it. When it comes to learning Torah, there is also achor b achor. This can be, for example, if a person learns a few Halachos pertaining to a certain area, and then attempts to arrive at the conclusions. If it s written in the sefer, he does it. A higher way to see than this is panim b achor. With panim b achor, a person sees only himself in the information what happens from this? He thinks that only his understanding is the way to understand something. He only sees how he is reflected in the information, so only his understanding is correct according to his thinking. Such a person learns the sugya of Gemara in front of him and makes everything fit into how he understands it, and he limits his understanding by doing so. It could be that he really is right in the way he understands it. But what is wrong here is that he thinks that only his understanding is the right one. Such an attitude is incorrect, because Chazal say that Just as all faces are not the same, so is every opinion not the same. There are many ways to understand a sugya there is no one way that is the only way. The highest way to see is panim b panim. Such a person knows that the way he understands something is only one of the possible ways to understand it, and he realizes that others have their own way of understanding. Panim B panim Chochmah and Binah

130 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 129 Before we discussed Chochmah and Binah; we have said that Chochmah and Binah can see everything. The difference between them is that Chochmah is to see the information in general terms, while Binah is to see it all as detail after detail. With lower Tevunah, a person only sees the details and doesn t connect them. Binah is that a person is aware that all the details eventually add up to something and reveal the actual wisdom. Binah is thus essentially panim b panim. The Chochmah sees all the information at once. This is the perfected state that a human being can reach; Adam was able to see everything all at once, before the sin. What does this mean? How do you see everything all at once? It is because he saw how everything connects into one picture. This is the perfected level of Chochmah. With Binah, a person sees detail upon detail. He sees how every detail is another facet that completes the picture. In our own learning, we use Chochmah and Binah as follows. Chochmah is when we see how every part of the Torah which we learn is all one face. It is to see many faces that are all really part of one face, because they all have one root. When a person perfects his Chochmah, he is able to see the big picture of it all. Moshe Rabbeinu was shown every Torah thought that each Jew will formulate 54. The depth of this matter was that he saw how the many faces of wisdom all connect to be onefaced. Binah is when one sees details as they are, but he is aware that eventually they all add up to be one. He knows that what he sees is not the end, and that there are always new facets of wisdom being revealed with each piece of information he comes across. The world was created with Fifty Gates of Understanding. Our sefarim hakedoshim explain that when we reach the fiftieth gate, we begin again from the forty-nine gates; this cycle keeps being repeated. The depth of this matter is that we never get to the end we are instead always revealing greater depth each time to what he had previously. Chochmah and Binah are thus panim b panim. Chochmah is to see the general information as a whole, while Binah is to see details. But even when a person only sees details, it is still panim b panim, because the person is able to keep revealing a new face to the information each time. On a more subtle note, a person is able to reveal a whole new depth each time to the old information. Panim B achor Chochmah and Tevunah By contrast, the lower Chochmah and Tevunah is like panim b achor. Panim b achor uses lower Chochmah and Tevunah. Tevunah doesn t show a person the essence of a matter that he has received from his teacher. Chochmah can show a person 54 Vayikra Rabbah 22:1

131 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 130 everything, because it is the actual wisdom that has been imparted from the teacher. The teacher has all the correct information, but the teacher also is aware that his student isn t really receiving what he is saying he is receiving what he has heard. The student thinks that he has gotten what his teacher said, and that he has gotten to the depth of what he has heard. In doing so, he is really taking his teacher s information and limiting it to his own understanding. This is panim b achor. The teacher is revealing the face of the wisdom, but the student only sees the back of it. In other words, the student thinks that he has arrived at the end of the understanding. The teacher is giving it over through panim, but the student is receiving the wisdom only through achor. Imagination Is The Incorrect Way To See When a person only sees information through achor, it is basically imagination. Why? Let s think about a simple example from the physical world. If Shimon sees Reuven in front of him, he doesn t have to imagine how Reuven looks, because he sees him up close. But if he only sees Reuven from behind, and he thinks to himself, That is Reuven, he will naturally imagine how Reuven s face looks. Whenever a person sees something indirectly and from behind it, he begins to imagine what it looks like. When a person imagines someone else s looks, is it the same as when you re actually seeing him face to face? It is not the same thing. It is not as accurate as seeing him for real. When a person imagines how something or someone else looks (because he only sees from achor), there are two disadvantages. First of all, he limits his understanding to what he has imagined. Secondly and this is a deeper problem his whole understanding here is based on his imagination. By contrast, when a person sees through panim b panim, he really sees what he s looking at, so there is no need to imagine it. It is only when a person can t see something that he imagines it. I can t see it, but my imagination can give me some picture of it. If I do see it, I don t need to imagine it I might need to remember it, but I don t need to imagine it. When I see someone from behind, I am only seeing him indirectly. What I am seeing here is just what I am imagining. Anytime we picture something in our minds, it s all imagination. Whatever we have never seen, we attempt to imagine what it must look like. Our whole understanding of such things is limited to what we imagine. Whenever a person sees something in an unclear way, he makes use of his imagination to try to picture what it looks like and it is inaccurate.

132 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 131 Our Goal is to Achieve the Clearest Viewpoint During the day we see more, but by night where we can t really see, our imagination is more commonly in use. This is clear and well-known.to give a simple example, we know that Moshe Rabbeinu s prophecy was on a higher level than other prophets. Moshe saw through panim, while the other prophets only saw through achor, and they had to use their imagination in order to understand the vision. When it comes to our relationship with Hashem, there is no one who has panim b panim with Hashem. There is always some achor involved, because we can t actually picture Hashem. On a very subtle note, achor is preferred over panim when it comes to how we relate to Hashem, because we are not allowed to imagine what it s like to be face-to-face with Hashem; it is just that with achor, a person has to be cautious that he shouldn t imagine the panim of Hashem. But we are discussing here how to understand our soul, and we are not discussing here the deeper aspects of our relationship with Hashem. 55 There are three levels which can be revealed in our soul, and we will now illustrate them in terms of teacher and student. The lowest level is achor b achor. Here, the student does not see his teacher or even himself in the knowledge being imparted; he is just seeing actions. Here, the student thinks that the knowledge is not being taught to me my teacher is just telling me what to do. The teacher as well is imparting the knowledge not in order to teach the student, but simply to tell him what to do. The student sees what his teacher does and imitates him. The teacher and student aren t facing each other here there is no panim, just achor. The problem here is with the teacher the one giving over the knowledge. Panim b achor is when the teacher faces his student. He is giving over the knowledge to his student to teach him, but he knows that the student isn t really receiving the actual knowledge. He knows that the student is only hearing what he has understood on his own level. Here, the problem is with the student the receiver. Panim b panim is when a person sees the actual information. With each additional facet of information he sees, he knows that it only leads to more. If a person merits this understanding, he becomes like a maayan hamisgaber (mighty wellspring), because each piece of knowledge to him is another face of many faces. May the Creator merit us to reach the level of panim b panim Face to face Hashem spoke with them. 55 Deepening our relationship with Hashem is the subject of the Bilvavi series, most notably the seventh, eighth and ninth volumes of Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh.

133 Getting to Know Your Thoughts How Thoughts Affect Behavior Thoughts Affect Our Feelings and Actions A person either uses his mind for the purpose of using the mind, or he uses his mind in order to do something. The highest purpose our mind serves is to think in the Torah. When a person learns Torah, he is using Chochmah, Binah and Da as for the sake of using the mind. The Rosh 56 writes that learning Torah lishmah (for its own sake) means that one learns Torah simply for the sake of learning. That is one usage of our mind. Another usage of our mind, which is a lower purpose, is what the Torah brings you to do. In this there are also different uses. The Vilna Gaon writes that there are three parts to the mind: thoughts, speech and actions. Thoughts are when a person thinks and analyzes. Speech of the mind is when a person thinks what he will say; Da as is hidden in the lips. Actions of the mind are when a person puts thought into what he does. To give a more general definition of the mind s uses, our thoughts can affect either our middos/emotions or how we act. Our head contains our mind, our heart contains our middos and our body contains our actions (which is the lowest part of our soul). The thoughts, which are the highest part of our soul, must be able to affect even the lower parts of our soul, which are our middos and our actions; it is not enough to use our mind just to think. Our thoughts are supposed to affect our entire being our heart, our middos, and our simple actions. First, we will explain how the thoughts are supposed to affect our middos. A Child s Mind Has No Da as There are seven root emotions in the soul: love, fear, pride, victory, admitting, connection, and lowliness. Let us use love as an example to explain the roots of this discussion. When a person loves something, does this come from his middos/emotions, or from his mind? Naturally, love is rooted in our emotions, and to be more specific, it is rooted in the faculty of ratzon (will). 56 An early commentator

134 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 133 A young child is able to love. A child s mind is at the level of Chochmah and Tevunah, but he has no Da as. The highest level of Da as is ruach hakodesh 57, and this can be experienced in some small way when a person uses his Da as to connect to his decisions (Da as hamechaberes). The lower levels of Da as are Da as d havdalah and Da as d hachraah a child does not have any of this, because he can t decide. Before we explained that the lower Chochmah is to see a physical image, while Tevunah is to compare and act upon that comparison. These are both abilities which even a baby can do. Of course, a baby or a child can t decide to use his Tevunah or not, but he naturally uses his imagination anyway. An adult, by contrast, is capable of deciding if the comparison he made is correct or not. An adult continues to grow up with his imagination, but slowly he gains more and more Da as, and he is able to figure out if what he s imagining is true or not. The point here is that a child, who only has Chochmah and Tevunah but no Da as, is still able to love and have other emotions. A Child s Emotions Are Not Connected To His Mind When a person is a child, he has only two parts functioning in his mind Chochmah and Tevunah. He also has middos, which are the emotions. Are his emotions and mind connected? No. A child s mind is one part of himself, while the emotions are a separate part of himself. Of course, we can t say that there is no connection at all, because sometimes a child s mind and emotions do work together. But even when there is a connection, it is lacking Da as, and without Da as everything is just a random mix. A child s love or fear are just emotions they aren t built upon the mind. They are just natural emotions which are rooted in a person s ratzon. This is the way a person is since he is born. When a person gets older, he gets Da as, but his middos/emotions don t necessarily change. It s very possible that an adult still remains with the very same emotions he had since he was a child. It could even be that he is very mature in his mind, but his mind is one thing, while his emotions are another thing. He can know in his mind that a certain desire is wrong to pursue, but he just follows his emotions and gives in to his desire. When a person s middos aren t connected to his mind, this resembles Esav, who head was greater than the rest of his body. Esav knew what the right thing was in his mind; he had a very great mind. But his middos/emotions weren t connected to his mind, so he followed his emotions. 57 The holy spirit

135 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 134 Free Will Is Essentially To Choose Da as In the lower mode of thought of an adult, the more mature his Chochmah, Tevunah and Da as become, the more he is aware in his mind if something is good or bad. An adult is able to decide if he will listen to his mind over his emotions. This is the basic power of bechirah (free will) which we all recognize in ourselves our heart wants something which our mind knows is wrong, and it is up to the person to decide if he will listen to the heart s emotions or to the mind s knowledge. When a child loves something, why does he love it? It is because one time he tasted it and saw it was good. His whole love comes from his emotions, not from his mind. This isn t based on his Chochmah or on his Tevunah, but purely on his natural emotions. The lower Chochmah and Tevunah are also in a child. Even if you don t give him the exact candy he likes, he will like it anyway because he compares it with the first candy he saw, which tasted good; this is a usage of his Chochmah and Tevunah. But even when he uses Chochmah and Tevunah in what he likes, it is only just bringing out his original liking toward the candy, which is based on mere emotions. All people have basic emotions. Many adults continue to live with the same emotions they had as children. People get smarter as they get older, but the emotional level often stays the same as when they were children. Even the lower Da as, which is the power to decide, is often not used so much by many people. Why? It is because a person as a child experienced love for something, but he didn t have Da as. As a result, every time that love comes back, it awakens in the person an emotion that is based just on Chochmah and Tevunah without Da as. People thus have a tendency to skip over their Da as whenever they feel a liking to something. Of course, there can be a more internal reason for this, since the sefarim hakedoshim say that the power of love is really a feeling that is above intellectual comprehension. But what is relevant for us to know is as follows. The first time a person had a desire for something, like when he was a child, he didn t have any Da as. All he had was Chochmah and Tevunah. Thus, the second time he feels the desire again, it awakens in him the first time he had the desire, and the same goes for the next time he has the desire. The original emotions keep being awakened, and these original emotions didn t have any Da as in them. When a person gets older and matures, he gains Da as. What happens if he encounters the desire again? His natural reaction will be to follow his original emotions, which lacked Da as. For this reason, many people fall into their desires when they encounter a powerful temptation. Chazal state that When the yetzer hora is present, there is no memory of the yetzer tov 58. When an evil desire is present, there is no good present; what is the reason for this? It is 58 Nedarim 32b

136 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 135 because the first time a person had a desire, he had no yetzer tov. When this desire gets awakened again in the person even as a mature adult who has Da as, it awakens his original emotions in which there was no yetzer tov present in other words, when there was no Da as. Even though an adult is capable of deciding between right and wrong, desires awaken the first time a person had a desire, which was a time when he didn t have Da as. This is a very fundamental point in understanding the human soul. When a person gets older and matures, he has a choice: either to awaken his Da as that he has now, or to push it away. Then he has to decide if he will listen to this decision or not. But the beginning point of free will is for a person to choose to even awaken his Da as or just go back to his original, childish emotions. Many times a person can feel this in himself. He feels that he wants something, and there is an inner voice telling him, No. But the person just pushes away this inner voice and runs back to his old emotions he is used to. Mature Emotions But when a person makes use of his higher mode of thought, it s the opposite: the emotions of a person now become mature, because they are based on the mind. A simple example of this is Avraham Avinu, whose love of Hashem came about from the wisdom he discovered. Here is an emotion based on the mind. Did his wisdom come from his love, or did his love come from his wisdom? His love came from his wisdom. What his wisdom wanted, that is what he loved. On a more subtle note, love is rooted in a point that is above the mind. In order for a person to have more mature emotions, he must leave his lower mode of thought totally. Why? According to what we have described before, it is very clear. With the undeveloped mind, everything a person does comes from his emotional reactions. Here, even his thinking is based on his emotions. If such thinking isn t really Chochmah and Tevunah but just a revelation of the natural emotions in a person, it definitely does not make use of Da as. In the higher usage of our thoughts, not only do the emotions work together with our Da as, but the emotions here are a result of the mind. These are entirely different kinds of feelings that a person can have. This was also the difference between the eitz hada as and the eitz hachaim. The knowledge contained in the eitz hada as, which was evil, is a Da as that comes from emotions. Chavah only desired to eat from the eitz hada as because she saw that the tree tasted good; in other words, the whole connection to the Da as came from emotions.

137 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 136 But the knowledge contained in the eitz hachaim the tree of life -- which is the good kind of knowledge, represents a different way to build the emotions. These are emotions which stem from the mind. The mind is the source of a person s real life ; Wisdom sustains its owner. 59 Truth and Falsity The connection between the mind and the emotions is usually perceived of as selfcontrol, but this is only a superficial definition. Self-control is that a person learns about the good and bad middos/emotions and tries to use his mind to control his middos. This is true and it is a worthy thing to do, but if this is the definition, then a person is just using his mind as a tool to work on his middos. If this is his attitude, then his emotions he has now are the focus, and he is just using his mind to control them and fix them.that is the lower mode of thought; in the higher mode of thought, however, it is the mind which produces new emotions. The focus here is not to fix your current middos, but to use your mind to produce new middos altogether. The Rambam (in Moreh Nevuchim) writes that this was the difference between before Adam s sin to after the sin. Before the sin, the whole test of man was to differentiate between truth and falsity; after the sin, the test of mankind is to choose between good and evil. The difference is as follows: with truth, a person clarifies what the truth is, and the truth tells him if he should have the emotion or not. Here, the emotions are being produced from the mind. But in the lower state of mankind, which came after the sin, it s not about the truth, but about what s good. In this lower state, a person wants something because it is good; when a person wants something, it is ratzon, which is rooted in the middos. Here, the emotions are causing what a person wants. This is also the deep difference between the middos of a Torah scholar to the middos of an ignoramus. Chazal say that an ignoramus cannot be pious 60, because even though an ignoramus can acquire middos, his middos don t come from the mind. An ignoramus doesn t have a mind with which to base his emotions on. Learning Middos From The Torah, Not From Animals Chazal say that if not for the Torah, we would have learned how to act from animals. We would have learned modesty from a cat, consideration for other s money from an ant, and marital loyalty from a dove Koheles 7: Avos 2: 5

138 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 137 What is the difference between learning how to act from the Torah or from animals? An animal s behavior doesn t come from any thought. We can learn middos alone from animals if we just want to know what a nice way to act is and what a mean way to act is. But middos alone aren t the middos that the Torah wants us to have. The Torah s attitude toward middos is that the middos have to come from the Torah, and not from anywhere else. The Torah is a pure heart G-d created me with, and a proper spirit to renew in my innards. We need renewed middos. To have new middos is different than working on your present middos through using your mind. If we would just have to work on our middos, we wouldn t need to get new middos. From the renewal of the Torah, a person can draw forth entirely new middos altogether. This is really the meaning of mochin d gadlus the higher state of mind. It s not that I have worked on my middos, got rid of my bad middos and instead revealed the good within them. That would also be a nice thing to do, but that is not our Avodah we are describing here. We are describing middos and emotions which are drawn forth from the Torah. There are thirteen middos of Hashem, and these are the middos which we aspire to. Chazal say, hevay domeh lo You should be similar to Him. The real middos which we aspire to have are middos that come from the Torah, which are middos that are rooted in the Creator. True Emotions Stem From The Mind This is how a person really works on himself: first, a person has to purify his middos. He must turn his bad middos into good middos. 62 After this he should work on acquiring mochin d gadlus a higher state of mind. When a person has mochin d gadlus, he receives entirely new middos. If a person hasn t fixed his middos yet and he attempts to reach mochin d gadlus, he will not really be successful. Such a person is fooling himself. The new middos only come to a person if he has worked to eliminate his bad middos. The mind can only produce new middos when the bad middos have been first transformed into good middos. When a person only has Mochin D Katnus, he simply works on his middos, but with Mochin D Gadlus, he is a whole new person, because he has entirely new middos. 61 Eruvin 100b 62 There is another series of the author, Da Es Middosecha, which is an in-depth course explaining how we can rectify all our middos. Adaptations of some of these lessons can be viewed at the Bilvavi website.

139 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 138 Mature Love Vs. Immature Love To give an example of what we mean, a person has to love the Torah. If a person has reached his higher mode of thought, loving the Torah is not the same love a person is familiar with. It is not a different way to use the power of love; it is whole a new kind of love. In the higher mode of thought, the feelings come from the mind. When a person has love for the Torah from his higher state of mind, it s not even that he loves the Torah more than any other worldly pleasure; it s not that he is channeling his love for the physical toward loving the Torah. Although it is true that a person should do this, that is not yet the depth of loving Torah. Loving Torah is to realize what the Torah is, and from that realization to come to love it. This is a whole new kind of love. If a person loves the Torah only because of the first way, there can be no greater downfall to a person than this. This is because he is using the lowest kind of love in order to love the Torah, which is entirely different than the regular love that people know of. We specifically gave Torah as an example for this, because Torah is entirely the mind. Learning the Torah in a true way brings a person to have a whole new kind of mind. Chazal 63 say that every day a person should look at the Torah like new. If the entire Torah was already revealed to Moshe at Har Sinai, how can it be new every day? The answer to this is because it has to be new to you, on a personal level. How can it be new to you? If it is coming to you from your real mind, it is new. Chazal are saying that every day, one should strive to have new middos which come from the Torah. When a person remains in the lower state of mind, he might be able to channel his regular emotions toward the Torah and even purify his middos, but these will not be new middos. A person who worked on his middos, let s say, used to love certain exciting things that were materialistic, and now he loves the Torah instead but in the same way he loved this world. Such a person has indeed worked on himself, but he doesn t have new middos. By contrast, someone who works hard at learning the Torah and comes up with new Torah insights all the time is revealing a whole new middah of love which he never had before. It s not that he is improving his middos it is that he is getting new middos. Cleaving To The Middos of Hashem 63 Sifrei, V Eschanan, 6.

140 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 139 Chazal taught us that we must cleave to the middos of Hashem; just as He is merciful, so must we be merciful 64. In the lower state of mind, the emotions are a mix of good and evil. Cleaving to the middos here is to overcome the evil and instead listen to the good in you; when you feel like acting cruel, instead be merciful. But this is not the depth of cleaving to the middos of Hashem. Does Hashem have any bad middos? Heaven forbid not! What does it mean then to cleave to His middos? It is true that we must remove our evil and instead cling to good, but the depth of cleaving to the middos of Hashem is to have middos which come from the mind. When a person connects to his mind, from there he can derive middos which are completely good. Hashem, the Jewish people, and the Torah are one. Hashem has completely good middos, and the Torah has entirely good middos. The Jewish people also have entirely good middos! But this is only if someone derives his middos from Hashem and His Torah, not if he simply channels his natural emotions for good. We are not saying that a person shouldn t work on his middos in the simple sense. If a person doesn t work on his regular middos, he will never reach his mind. A person must work on his middos, simply put. What we mean is that after a person has worked on his middos, he must work on connecting to his mind, and from there he can draw forth new middos. This is the real way to build up our minds. Let us explain this in more simple words. Usually, we think that we need to just use our mind to work on our middos. But it s really the opposite. What do we mean? Before, we explained at length that thought is not simply for a person to become a thinker, but that we should live in a world of thought. When a person doesn t live in a world of thought, he lives either in a world of emotions or in a world of action. He is either acting upon his emotions or he is simply just acting. Such a person, when he thinks, limits his thinking either to his emotions or to what he s doing. By contrast, someone who lives in a world of thought always does everything from a viewpoint of thought. For example, a person sees an object. What does he first think as he sees it? An action kind of person thinks, What do I do with this?, while a feeling kind of person thinks, Is this thing good for me or not? But someone who lives with thought thinks, What is this thing made up of? What is its function? 64 Shabbos 133b

141 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 140 Chazal state that Hashem thought first to create the Jewish people before He thought of creating the universe. This shows us that the Jewish people are first supposed to make use of their thoughts, before the feelings and the any actions. Our feelings and actions need to be clarifies to us through the thoughts. Whatever a person encounters, he has to approach it first through thought, and then the feelings and actions will be based upon the thoughts. To give a more inner description of this the emotions are supposed to come from our mind. How The Emotions Can Be A Result Of The Mind In the future, we will reach a more perfected state of mind, in which we will reveal a kind of mind that is above the emotions. The world which we live in is a world of emotion. Hashem thus relates to us with middah k neged middah (measurement for a measurement), because since the current state of the world is that of middos, Hashem relates to us in terms of middos. But in the future, Hashem will give us all a future reward, a state of total mind above emotion. The depth of the future reward is the revelation of the Torah s secrets a revelation of the mind, and even above this level, there will also be an utter connection to Hashem. But in our current situation of the world, which will last for six thousand years (not just in the average seventy-year lifespan of people, but even in Gan Eden right now), our minds are not yet total. This is why Chazal say that Anyone who says, All I have is the Torah does not even have the Torah 65. Since this is so, we must use our mind to affect our emotions and actions. We must learn in order to do. Therefore, when we discuss the mind, it is clear that we can t just work on this just for the sake of building our mind. Our entire discussion here is about how to use our mind to affect how we act and feel. (On a very subtle note, there is a deep place in our soul in which there is a total mind, but that is only once our mind is connected to all the other parts of our soul). The real function of the mind is to affect us and produce new middos. In the sefarim hakedoshim, the mind is referred to as Abba and Ima father and mother, because the whole function of the mind is to produce new middos, just like a father and mother give birth to children. Before, we discussed Chochmah and Binah; these are ways to build our mind for the sake of building the mind. But more than this, we also have to use the way of Abba V Ima, which is to use our mind to affect how we act. With the lower Chochmah and Tevunah abilities in the lower state of mind -- a person uses his mind to build his middos. But what was described in this chapter is to use our mind in order to produce entirely new middos. 65 Yevamos 109b

142 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 141 One function of our Chochmah, Binah and Da as are meant for us to build up the mind; although Betzalel was blessed with these abilities in order to build the Mishkan, of course this doesn t mean that Chochmah and Binah are only for the sake of knowing what to do. They can be used to know what to do, but they serve a purpose other than this as well to build the mind. The other function which Chochmah, Binah and Da as serve is to use these abilities in order to work on our middos, and then produce new middos. What we discussed in this chapter was this second function of our Chochmah, Binah and Da as, which is to use our mind to produce new middos in ourselves. How The Mind Affects Behavior and Emotions When it comes to getting things done action everyone can understand that our mind affects how we act. The mitzvos and good actions which a person has are called his fruits 66. The good actions which righteous individuals have done are considered their main offspring 67. It s not that a person does something and then afterwards he examines himself to see if he did the right thing. That is cheshbon hanefesh (self-accounting) and it is something else. Our thoughts come into play even before we act. Before a person does something, he thinks if he should do it or not. The point is that when it comes to how we act, everyone understands clearly that our thoughts affect us. But when it comes to our feelings, this isn t as clear. Feelings are more sudden and this makes us less aware that our mind is able to come before it. The Ramban writes that a person must think before he acts. The same can be true for our feelings we are able to think before how we will feel and react. Reb Yisrael Salanter wrote that one of the ways to fix our middos is through learning the part in the Torah about that particular bad middah we want to fix. The simple understanding of this is that through learning about that area of the Torah, the Torah s light is shined upon the person and it removes the darkness of that bad middah. But according to what we have said in this chapter, there is more to his words: a person needs to work on his weaknesses because through learning about it, he will receive entirely new middos. 66 Sotah 46a 67 Rashi, beginning of Parshas Noach

143 Getting to Know Your Thoughts 142 Working on our Middos -- The Point of Life We must always remember that when we build up our mind s power, besides for developing our mind we have to mainly use it to improve our middos. There is a well-known statement of the Vilna Gaon 68 : A person lives in order to break the middah which he hasn t broken yet until now. Thus, a person must always strengthen himself to work on this, because if he doesn t, what is the point of living? What does this mean? If we don t break our middos then there is no pint to life?! What about learning Torah and doing mitzvos? The understanding of this is that we are currently living in a world of middos. (There are also people who are living entirely for action, and this is the lowest kind of existence). Therefore, if we don t break our middos, life on this world is pointless. If a person wants to break his middos, he needs to break his middos as well as gain new middos. The entire function of our mind on this world is to produce new middos in ourselves. When we all merit this, we will gain middos of Hashem, which will be the perfected state of the future. 68 Mishlei 4 :13

144 Getting to Know Your Thoughts Your Imagination