DIE MAN NO MORE MAY BORN THAT. Volume by Lynn Wein McCoy. hat did you get? my

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1 Volume 20 7 BORN THAT MAN NO MORE MAY DIE by Lynn Wein McCoy hat did you get? my W friend Jody asked. It was Hanukkah, 1971, and I was ten. Just about every kid I knew, including Jody, was bragging about what they had received each night from their moms and dads. I remember her gifts being wonderful: a dress, a coat, a scooter, a stereo. One gift was traditionally given for each night of Hanukkah, each more fabulous than the next. (continued next page)

2 (continued from cover) We lived in a neighborhood of upper middle class professionals just outside of Hartford, Connecticut. My dad was a mailman. He was a hard-working man, stretching a budget to raise five kids. My mother, like most women in those days, stayed home with us kids. Living on one salary was not easy. Gifts were not a priority in my home. I would get one gift for Hanukkah, usually a hand-knit sweater or a doll of some kind. So when Jody would brag, I would be silent, too embarrassed to tell her the truth. The holiday of Hanukkah was not the celebration I Lynn and her twin brother at an Orthodox thought it should synagogue for a baby-naming service be, and it became a painful time in my life. We were Conservative Jews attending an Orthodox synagogue. My dad was an officer there, and we spent nearly every Saturday in services. After my grandparents died, just a few months apart from each other, we no longer kept kosher. The only time the name of Jesus came up in my home was when my father swore. I would watch my other neighbors, who were not Jewish, string up their Christmas lights outside. Our house was one of several on our street that remained without them. We had a tradition of driving around to look at all the decorations and the trees our neighbors so proudly displayed in their windows. This year, my brother Howard, who had just graduated from the University of Connecticut, was invited to a Christmas tree trimming party. My mom and dad got ready for their best friends Christmas party, and I could smell the knishes baking in the oven. They were Mom s contribution to the party every year. Each year we would go to the Constitution Plaza in Hartford, where thousands of lights were lit. We laughed at how funny it seemed for people to sing about Santa and his reindeer. I heard the Christmas carols coming over the loudspeakers, but barely paid attention to the words. These were not, after all, our songs. But the words of one song, Hark! The Herald Angels Sing, struck me that cold night at the top of the Plaza: Born that man no more may die, born to raise the sons of earth, born to give them second birth. Hark! the herald angels sing, Glory to the newborn King! I did not realize that those words had settled in my heart that night. My mind had forgotten them. My heart, however, had tucked them away until the spring of That was when Aunt Sylvia called to tell us my cousin Phillip in upstate New York, then 26, was very ill. He was on life support, dying of what they thought was hepatitis. It wasn t until years later I discovered that some of the earliest AIDS cases in the United States were diagnosed in the mid-to-late 1970s in upstate New York, and this was likely what he succumbed to. I was seventeen, old enough to want to say something to give my aunt hope, as she was about to lose her son. The words came out of my mouth, I m so sorry. Maybe he s going ISSN PRINTED IN THE U.S.A EDITOR IN CHIEF: SUSAN PERLMAN EDITOR: MATT SIEGER DESIGN AND ILLUSTRATION: PAIGE SAUNDERS JOIN US AT FACEBOOK.COM/ISSUESMAG 2

3 to a better place. To my aunt, those words were like acid poured on an open wound. It was as if I had cursed Phillip and wished him dead. My mother took the phone and tried to calm my aunt down. How dare I say such an awful thing! There was no concept of an afterlife in my family. When you die, you are buried, and that is the end. Everything within me wanted to shout, No, it s not the end. There s something more. There has to be! But I did not say it. Phillip passed away, and my aunt refused to speak to me for four years. Constitution Plaza, where Lynn first heard Hark the Herald Angels Sing The following year I was getting ready to graduate high school and attend college. The financial burden of tuition was weighing heavily on me. My original plan was to become the next Stephen King by attending the University of Maine, where he was teaching a writing class. Phillip s death caused me to rethink those plans and to think more about what was beyond this life. I began to read books like Life after Life by Raymond Moody and other stories of people who had clinically died but were subsequently revived. I made a decision that in the fall I would attend the University of Hartford. That way I could save money by living at home. But what was I going to declare as a major? The questions surrounding the death of my cousin continued to take up most of my thoughts. I realized that I wanted to help people like Phillip as they were dying, perhaps by working in a hospice. That s when I decided to major in psychology at the University of Hartford, where B.F. Skinner s daughter taught. It didn t occur to me until later how ironic it was that I wanted to help people deal with their impending death, facing their own eternity, and yet I didn t know for sure that there really was something beyond this life. But there had to be! This could not be all there was, could it? That question stirred in my mind over and over again. A year and a half later, in the winter of 1980, my friend Susan and I had tickets for a Harry Chapin concert in Hartford. For those too young to remember, Chapin was a folk singer who sang ballads like Taxi and Cat s in the Cradle. We decided to attend the ceremony of the lighting of the Christmas lights on the Constitution Plaza, held the evening before the Chapin concert. I was looking forward to seeing the lights as they were lit by the flick of a switch. There was always someone well known given that honor, and that year it was Harry! So there I was, a nice Jewish girl from Hartford, Connecticut, raised in a semi-orthodox home, just a few feet away from Harry Chapin, who led us in several Christmas carols. I found myself joining in, and as he sang, O Come, O Come, Emmanuel, and Hark! The Herald Angels Sing, without warning, the tears began to flow. I (continued on page 4) ISSUES is a forum of several Messianic Jewish viewpoints. The author alone, where the author s name is given, is responsible for the statements expressed. Those wishing to take exception or wishing to enter into dialogue with one of these authors may write the publishers and letters will be forwarded. editor@issuesmag.org jewsforjesus.org UNITED STATES: P.O. BOX , SAN FRANCISCO, CA CANADA: 1315 LAWRENCE AVENUE #402, TORONTO, ONT M3A 3R3 UNITED KINGDOM: 6 CENTRAL CIRCUS, HERNDON CENTRAL, LONDON NW4-3JS SOUTH AFRICA: P.O. BOX 1996, PARKLANDS 2121 AUSTRALIA: P.O. BOX 925, SYDNEY NSW

4 tried to wipe them away, but they just would not stop. What on earth was this about? I didn t realize why until years later. The Scriptures in those songs were seeds planted in my heart. As I continued in my studies for the next two years, poring over textbooks in search of answers to what was beyond, I began to also look into other religions. I attended Buddhist, Bahai and Christian Science events. It never occurred to me to read the New Testament. As a Jewish girl who grew up going to synagogue, exploring Christianity was just not an option until just a few months before my graduation in It was then that I accepted an invitation from a friend with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship to attend an event at the University of Hartford. The event featured a bizarre group called Jews for Jesus. I d never heard of them, and the thought that a Jew could believe in Jesus was just ridiculous to me. Yet I decided to go, along with several of my Jewish friends. They were Lynn s Christmas tree, decorated with musical instruments there to heckle the speaker, Tuvya Zaretsky, so I went along. But the truth was, I was intrigued, and I wanted to know what this was all about. I walked in smoking a cigarette and looked around for an ashtray. I grabbed the first thing I could find to extinguish my cigarette. I had no idea it was part of Tuvya s notes! I ll Lynn McCoy never forget the look on his face, nor the challenge by Tuvya that afternoon. It was a challenge to look at the evidence for myself and to consider that God wanted a personal relationship with each one of us. He wanted to set eternity in our hearts, and, Tuvya said, the only way to get that eternity was through His son, Jesus. The Christmas carol suddenly made sense, Born that man no more may die, born to raise the sons of earth, born to give them second birth. As he said goodbye to me that day, Tuyva handed me a book, Y shua: the Jewish Way to Say Jesus. I read that book three times, cover to cover. Within the month, I visited with a Jews for Jesus volunteer who led me in a prayer of commitment to Yeshua. As I told my family about my faith, one by one they said they did not want to hear about it except for my sister Paulette, who just two weeks before me had become a believer in Jesus herself! Our first Christmas together as believers, my sister and I held hands as we walked into a church service and sang, O Come, O Come, Emmanuel. Christmas will always be a special time for me. I love to trim a fresh tree and decorate it with musical instruments. My husband and I rarely exchange gifts, however, because it s all about Yeshua, the greatest gift we ll ever receive, and much more than we deserve. n 4

5 FINDING SPIRITUAL HARMONY: CELEBRATING JEWISH SURVIVAL AND THE MESSIAH The following is a response by Tuvya Zaretsky, a Messianic Jew, to an actual letter from a gentile believer in Jesus with a Jewish husband. Dear Cynthia (a pseudonym), Thank you for your honesty and the relevant questions in your letter. I receive an increasing number of queries at this time of year from gentile Christians like you who have a Jewish spouse. In December, Jewish-gentile couples are trying to sort out how to celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas. It s good to recognize the need to find spiritual harmony with your husband. While I appreciate your desire that your husband would join you in following Jesus, I also understand how he feels. I too am Jewish and at one time I shared his same resistance to Jesus. I also understand your dilemma. You can t pursue spiritual harmony through a conversion to Judaism because it would require you to give up your foundation of faith in Messiah Jesus. Your husband s challenge is how he could investigate Jesus without the fear of jeopardizing his Jewish identity. And though he loves you deeply, that may not relieve concerns about how intermarriage impacts his connection with Jewishness. That isn t a judgment on either of you. It s just the reality that you both share. FRUSTRATIONS So you experience frustration at how difficult it is to have a discussion of spiritual subjects with your husband, especially around the J word (Jesus). You might need to explore why that is hard for him. Meanwhile, hang onto your assurance that Jesus is the sure way for all people, Jews and gentiles, to belong to the one God. Messiah Jesus said, I am the way, the truth and the life; no one comes to the Father except through me (John 14:6). You said, My husband doesn t believe in Jesus, so how can I find spiritual harmony in our case? One starting place is with why spiritual union doesn t come naturally. In all human relationships, our natural tendency toward selfishness creates a barrier between partners and a spiritual barrier between God and us. The Bible teaches that all human beings miss God s target for goodness (Romans 3:9, 23; Tuvya Zaretsky Daniel 9:11). 1 So even loving marriage partners feel the effects of being broken and self-centered. How do you fix THAT? Well, we can t fix ourselves, because we re all damaged. It s like our operating system is corrupted. Thankfully, God dealt with our brokenness with His gift of forgiveness in His Messiah Jesus. 2 He can fix us and bring us together in spite of ourselves. Spiritual harmony is possible, but getting there takes work from both of you. A MUTUAL HOPE The one true God can be found by anyone, and that includes both of you. He promised that if people seek Him, as He wants to be known, they would find Him. 3 The God of Israel said that relationship with Him is possible by following His instruction: You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 4 That s a good route for Jews and gentiles to follow. Maybe it s easier for your husband to talk about Scriptures that are more familiar to his culture. Cynthia, your journey of faith led you to the God of Abraham through His Messiah Yeshua (Jesus). You loved Him, and discovered that He loved you even more! He wanted to forgive your moral imperfection. So, weird as it sounded, God put judgment for all of our immoral nature on His own son, the Messiah. 5 That was the really (continued bottom of page 6) 5

6 (continued from page 5) good news. God s deep love is available to everyone through His son. Fixing a broken relationship to God can t be earned with good intentions, negotiated through reason or won by sheer effort. God s forgiveness for human selfishness is available to Jewish people and to gentiles in a way that He alone provided. 6 So, there is a way to have spiritual harmony in a marriage. The good news is that Jewish people don t have to give up their cherished ethnicity. Like everyone else, we only have to surrender the idea that we can overcome moral brokenness with reliance on self-effort. That s the same path that all people from every nationality must follow to connect with God. It is a way that couples can find spiritual harmony and a mutually comfortable faith in God. MARITAL INTIMACY Marital intimacy is relational glue for a long-lasting marriage. Couples need to be able to communicate with one another about their inner lives with transparency and safety. That condition is aided when both are able to experience the love of God. You also wrote, I don t know anybody else in my situation. Cynthia, you and your husband are not alone! In fact, today you two are actually a picture of the American Jewish norm. Demographic studies over the last 25 years reveal a trend toward Jewish-gentile couples. The 1990 National Jewish Population Survey reported that Jewish people took gentile spouses 52% of the time. That rate has held fairly constant in America. It is now estimated that over 42% of married American Jews are in Jewish-gentile couple relationships. In no way are you alone. American Jewish community leaders have described intermarriage as a crisis threatening Jewish survival. Jewishgentile couples describe that strong reaction as making them feel marginalized. Some synagogues have attempted to create a big tent Judaism where strangers are welcome. However, unless gentile partners agree to convert, that approach would change American Judaism. Survival is a core Jewish value. So, it s not a surprise that Jewish people fear losing their ethnic connection by investigating or potentially believing the message of Jesus. Finding spiritual intimacy in marriage can be a challenge. Cynthia, there is a way for you both to have a relationship with God that is fair to both of you. PRACTICAL STUFF You asked, Is it best for me to proceed in a way that focuses on the commonalities of our faith? Sure, why not begin the conversation by asking what he believes about his religion? I know he might be functionally secular with only a traditional attachment to Judaism. 7 But start the conversation with an effort to understand what Judaism means to him. That can help build trust and it could lead to safer discussion of personal beliefs. That, in turn, can lead to mutual appreciation and spiritual intimacy. I ve found that gentiles have far more appreciation for Jewish rites, rituals and life cycle events than Jewish partners do for elements of Christian belief and practice. Some traditional elements of Judaism are not contradictory with Christian faith. Both religions share a common monotheistic view of God and a respect for the first five books of the Bible. However, differences are considerable in how Judaism understands the nature of humanity. Christians speak easily about the sin nature, and God s means for dealing with it. Your husband might have a totally different understanding of those subjects or none at all. So back to your question, How do I find spiritual harmony? A good first step is to seek agreement that you both have to contend with brokenness. What does the Bible say about the subject of sin? Together, go on a Bible search from the Torah through the Gospels. For example, the Torah says that the God of Israel forgives iniquity, transgression and sin (Exodus 34:6 7). So, that states the problem and a promise, but how did He accomplish that? John the disciple wrote, For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ (Messiah). 8 You both can look at our helpful Bible 6

7 study called How to Know God. 9 Choose a few biblical subjects for study, discovery and discussion together. 10 APPRECIATION AND EXPLANATION Cynthia, a mentor of mine, taught me the law of apperception. People don t grasp easily any idea that is outside of their cultural experience. So, in order to discuss a new idea you first have to learn the other person s point of view and the terms of their understanding. Once you ve acquired appreciation for what they know, you can stimulate their thinking about something new. The goal is to introduce a new idea, not necessarily to find agreement. December is a wonderful opportunity for discovering new concepts. You want to look beyond the secular and commercially driven cultural symbols of the season. The Jewish observance of Hanukkah celebrates Jewish survival against oppression. Reading about the Maccabees can give your children a sense of connection to the heritage of their father s people. The miracle of Hanukkah is not found in any historic texts. The account in the Apocrypha makes no mention of a miracle in the Temple. However, there are many biblical accounts where God did miraculously intercede to save the Jewish people. You can read those biblical stories together to learn about God s covenant faithfulness in preserving His Jewish people. You and your husband can use the occasion to increase your children s awareness of their ethnic identity during the holiday. 11 Light Hanukkah candles and teach your children about the Lord, Israel s mighty hero. Help them to appreciate God s covenant faithfulness to Abraham and his people. Then with the same energy share the meaning in your celebration of Messiah s birth. You can read Luke 1:67 2:40 about the birth of Israel s Messiah. Pay special attention to all the passages of Hebrew Scripture quoted in it. Messianic prophecies like Isaiah 9:1 7 can be eye-opening references to Jesus. Let the Bible reveal the real meaning for your celebration of the Messiah s birth at this season. During the weeks leading up to Christmas Day, you all can read related Bible stories or a devotional series. 12 Create your own ways to find the true meaning of the December holy days. December is a wonderful season to think about what God has done to preserve Jewish survival and why He s done it. It s a phenomenal time to consider that God sent His Messiah into the world and why He did that! I hope these practical ideas will help you both to eventually find spiritual harmony. In Messiah, Endnotes 1. What then? Are we Jews any better off? No, not at all; for we have already charged that all, both Jews and Greeks, are under sin (Romans 3:9); For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23); And the curse and oath that are written in the Law of Moses the servant of God have been poured out upon us, because we have sinned against him (Daniel 9:11). 2. Let it be known to you therefore, brothers, that through this man forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you, and by him everyone who believes is freed from everything from which you could not be freed by the law of Moses (Acts13:38 39). 3. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart (Jeremiah 29:13); You will seek the LORD your God and you will find him, if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul (Deuteronomy 4:29). 4. Deuteronomy 6:5. 5. But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). 6. And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved (Acts 4:12). 7. The term traditional has come to mean a Jewish person who is by conviction secular, but will observe some Jewish religious or cultural practices like keeping a Passover seder, attending High Holy Day services or showing support for the State of Israel. 8. John 1: See How to Find Spiritual Harmony at For a picture of the whole Bible, see Kaiser, Walter C., Jr. Recovering the Unity of the Bible: One Continuous Story, Plan, and Purpose (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2009). 11. See Israel the People, by Tuvya Zaretsky in Israel: The Land and the People, H. Wayne House, editor. (San Francisco: Jews for Jesus, 1998) [ISBN ]. 12. See Christmas Joy! by Mel Lawrenz, available for PDF download at 7

8 December Conundrum A goyishe gala Of tinsel and toys Carols and crèches Fruitcake and fa la las A yiddishe party Of dreidels and donuts Gelt and gifts Latkes and di di dies December Solution Maoz Tzur Away in a Manger Ner Tamid Light of the World Incarnate Susan Perlman Read a book review of A Kosher Christmas, watch two funny Hanukkah/Christmas videos, enjoy our potato latke recipe, and learn why Christmas is a Jewish Holiday and why Without Hanukkah There Would Be No Christmas at j4j.co/issues2007. What do a devout Orthodox Jew, a drug dealer, and a female cantor all have in common? Check out ShoutOut to find out. Jewish journeys of faith, streaming now at jewsforjesus.org/shoutout 8