Sumer United - Week 5 Inadequacy is our opportunity Father s Day 2017

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Pauline Jordan
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1 Sumer United - Week 5 Inadequacy is our opportunity Father s Day 2017 Part 5 Point: Our inadequacy is our opportunity. What we do with our wound is the key to being fathered and being a father. Happy Father s Day!! Speak to those who are Fathers Those who want to be Fathers Those who have a biological Father These principles work for others too (male & female but contextualized today for father s somewhat ) Today has some generalizations Wild at heart o Men - do I have what it takes o Women - am I lovely? Heart for men and fathers - do I have what it takes? Wound How we assess this and address this establishes us We are called to great responsibility but we have that nagging question... Silent struggles Fear Retreat Defeat Abandoned posts Anger abuse Dominant behavior I understand your struggle

2 We are called to impossibility We must not minimize the task We must have honest self awareness What do we do? Men = Inadequacy Inadequacy is your opportunity DO WE HAVE WHAT IT TAKES? Good news & Bad News Bad News - No you don t Good News - coming to grips with that leads you to the answer you need - with God, yes, you do. Our inadequacy is our opportunity What is being a father? Being a Father = Leading in the middle of inadequacy. How do we lead? How do we parent? How do we lead in inadequacy? #1.) We accept responsibility from God Leadership = does not have to do with value but responsibility not better, more responsibility

3 ILL. Extreme Ownership Book This is life and death too. Gen. 3 even ate the fruit, Adam watched but was held responsible Men are not better they are just responsible Pastors/teachers not better, just more responsible God still believes in you. No matter what you have done. ILL. I disappoint my wife. I disappoint my kids. Still something about leading along side Jesus Knowing it is my seat to limp forward. Judges 5:2 When the princes in Israel take the lead, when the people willingly o er themselves praise the Lord. (written by a woman Debrah) IMPROPER SUPERIORITY (not masculinity) In toughness (not punching harder, burping louder) In EXTERNAL success & status accomplishments o Focus on our victories o Measure our trophies (wife, stu )

4 Intimidation super cial superiority Bossiness you have to be in charge & in authority IMPROPER SUBSERVIENCE (not humility) Passivity Introversion o how was your day? ne o You are there, but not there Hyper Spirituality Excessive Humor everything becomes a joke o Everybody loves you, but no body respects you IMPROPER IRRESPONSIBILITY Abdication someone else will do it Un-forgiveness you are blaming someone else for the way you are Independence no submission to authority (anti-establishment) Entitlement we don t deserve anything you aren t owed anything o Go to work o Do the little tasks o Flip burgers IMPROPER IMMATURITY Immorality we want sex but not marriage/commitment o We need help in this realm o A gift from God to be used in the way He set it up Financial Mismanagement Fantasy video game crazy, sports crazy

5 o We are putting our ght in the wrong place o Fight real battles Dishonor o Chivalry o Honor women o Honor age "'Stand up in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. Lev. 19:32 o Honor property - it costs money Men: our purpose is in running toward what others are running from Men & Dads God created you to be in the middle of problems. ILL. Pastor dad of the church the only reason I m here is to solve issues. THAT IS MY SEAT. Dads some of you, most of you, are bored. Our destiny is OFTEN found in the thing we are afraid to engage. The distance between who you are and who God wants you to be is the pain your are unwilling to endure Craig Groeschel

6 Maturity has nothing to do age, but with the acceptance of responsibility. - Edwin Lewis Cole Be a man its time to grow up Things to run toward - Take the lead o Commit to a vibrant relationship with Jesus Christ Get after it Read your Bible Take the lead o Commit to the local church Wherever it is Serve others - Team Element Give o Commit to accountable relationship with other Christian men Older guys some of these guys need help they didn t have good dads E GROUPS o Commit to holiness & purity Single guys no sex until marriage Jesus will take care of your yesterday today & forward Married guys be faithful to your wife to one That s just how guys are? Sin becomes a boring routine not a fresh excitement evil never lends itself to originality. Hence there are two problems, the slavery and staleness of sin. Evil never lends itself to originality. o Commit to building a strong family

7 Be a husband be there Be a dad be there Teach principles Initiate Discipline o Commit to work hard & develop a great work ethic Be the best employee at your work place Not the fastest, best, just outlast you o Commit to nancial health stop being irresponsible It starts with me. We take the lead. Judges 5:2 When the princes in Israel take the lead, when the people willingly o er themselves praise the Lord. #2.) We accept identity from God As men we nd our identities in our achievement. Two edged sword - success & failure Neither is a good fuel for your identity. Failure causes you to shrink back. Success forces you to produce again and again and again. Family Work

8 Financial Sports & Workouts Games Toys Spirituality Let me tell you what is wrong with that. If success or failure MAKES US a success or failure we will ONLY try things where we KNOW we will succeed. o Anything else is IDENTITY SUICIDE. Over time, we begin to shrink back because we are protecting ourselves God designed us to dare & risk greatly. o God calls us to situations that others nd terrifying o God calls us to LEAD our families If you do ANY of that you are going to fail. Publicly. IN front of all. If you nd your identity in PERFORMANCE: you will eventually quit or numb your insides We will shrink up and die from the neck up. Most men are dead from the neck up by age 25 because they stop dreaming [daring/taking risk] - Benjamin Franklin You better nd a di erent source for your identity ILL. Jacob/Israel -

9 o Wrestles with God by the Peniel (face of God) o I will not let you go until you bless me What is your name? Who are you? Deceiver - one who works to take care of myself o No, you are one who contends with Me - God Gen. 32: As the sun came up Jacob limped toward Peniel o That is what I am doing. o When the lights come on, not strutting but stumbling, limping in front of everyone toward the place where God meets me face to face. We must nd our identity in the Love & Grace of Jesus Christ Simple Equation Identity apart from achievement = permission to try again My failures are an event, not a person To our failure Jesus says It might be what you did, but it s not who you are Limp forward with Me

10 ILL. Wild at Heart : children asking their father their question... Answer is clear through the cross Valuable enough to die for You have what you need to carry out My mission Belief in us enough to hand us the keys of His plans #3.) We accept wisdom, direction & power from God When confronted with impossibility you have to look for a di erent solution. We look to God... You Can t Give something you don t have Moses at Marah Great victory 3 days in the desert Waters bitter People mad at Moses He cries out to God Exodus 15: Then Moses led Israel from the Red Sea and they went into the Desert of Shur.For three days they traveled in the desert without nding water. 23 When they came to Marah, they could not drink its water because it was bitter. (That is why the place is called Marah.) 24 So the people grumbled against Moses,

11 saying, What are we to drink? 25 Then Moses cried out to the Lord, and the Lord showed him a piece of wood. He threw it into the water, and the water became t to drink. Everything you have is within your reach New Revelation comes in seasons of challenge but it comes when we CRY OUT TO THE LORD THE LORD SHOWED HIM. Times as a leader/father when you are going to feel ALONE!! You BETTER INTIMATELY KNOW THE FATHER ILL. God is not the Christmas tub you pull out for special occasions/moments. Nice shiny things. (Holidays, meal times, weddings and funerals), YOU BETTER KNOW HIM!!! 3 types of knowing God the Father TYPE 1. Those who believe in God, but don t really know Him. So many people are at this level. You may say well, Isn't believing enough? I mean I believe in God. James said even the demons believe in God. And they had enough sense to shudder at the mention of His name.. Believing in God is simply not enough. A lot of people believe in God They have head knowledge but not a heart relationship!

12 TYPE 2 of knowing God: Those who believe in God and they know Him but they don't know Him well. You re a Christian, but maybe new Christian They believe in God and they kind of sort of know Him, but not well. They've been informed about God but not transformed by Him. TYPE 3 - Those who believe in God, know Him well/intimately and serve Him, with Him, with everything they can. How do I know if I know Him intimately? What you CALL someone can reveal a lot about how well you know them ILL. Depending on what you call me it ll reveal how close we are. 1. If my phone rings and you go Hello can I speak to, Scott Joseph Hayes WELL you don't know me. Probably trying to sell me something. BC what you call me shows that you do not know me. Might be a computer voice This message is for Scott. Joseph. Hayes 2. If I'm at Sansu and I turn my name in to you as the hostess Mr. Hayes I'm with wife and you say Mr. Hayes party of two. We just met bc you wrote down my name But we don't have a close relationship. You know, I'm Mr. Hayes but we don't know each other.

13 3. If you call me Pastor Scott or PS chances are you actually might know a little bit about me. You know what I do I m a pastor. Maybe you've heard me speak. You have some knowledge of me because the name you called me reveals it. 4. If you call me Scott, then you ve probably known me for a while We ve connected! We re close Spent time together. Because my friends and family know me as Scott. If you call me Scott we have a relationship. 5. If you call me Scottie Hayes (with a twang), we've been friends for a really long time. We ve been friends for more than 15 years. We go way back to Olivet College days! We've got experiences that cannot be duplicated! There's a long-term relationship there. 6. If you call me Scotty Potty Then you re the bullies from the 6 th grade lunch room in Houston Texas And I ll meet you out back as soon as I m done OH IT S ON!!!! 7. But there's some here today who call me something else, even more close and intimate than PS, Scott or Scottie Hayes... Those would be my three kids, Elli, Braelon & Karis. When I come home they still (at least Karis) run up and hug me All three still climb up in my lap They d put their hands on my face and smile Do you know what they call me? They call me Daddy! They know me so much better than even those who call me Scott or Scottie. I m their FATHER And that s the kind of relationship God wants with you and me Not a casual relationship but a close intimate relationship.

14 8. NOW there's one that s here she snuggles up to me and she calls me that s an entirely di erent message That s my wife, E We're not gonna deal with that today. We are going to need to be calling God Daddy/Father if we are going to be good ones. The task of our life - KNOWING the Father. When the children cry out to you (Moses), you better cry out to God (revelation) #4.) We point others to the Source instead of acting like the source Our ultimate job as dads is to introduce those in our care to the One who can ultimately care for them. Numbers 20: In the rst month the whole Israelite community arrived at the Desert of Zin,and they stayed at Kadesh. There Miriam died and was buried. 2 Now there was no water for the community, and the people gathered in opposition to Moses and Aaron. 3 They quarreled with Moses and said, If only we had died when our brothers fell dead before the Lord! 4 Why did you bring the Lord s community into this wilderness, that we and our livestock should die here?5 Why did you bring us up out of Egypt to this terrible place? It has no grain or gs, grapevines or pomegranates. And there is no water to drink!

15 6 Moses and Aaron went from the assembly to the entrance to the tent of meeting and fell facedown, and the glory of the Lord appeared to them. 7 The Lord said to Moses, 8 Take the sta, and you and your brother Aaron gather the assembly together. Speak to that rock before their eyes and it will pour out its water. You will bring water out of the rock for the community so they and their livestock can drink. 9 So Moses took the sta from the Lord s presence, just as he commanded him.10 He and Aaron gathered the assembly together in front of the rock and Moses said to them, Listen, you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock? 11 Then Moses raised his arm and struck the rock twice with his sta. Water gushed out, and the community and their livestock drank. 12 But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them. Moses - must we bring water out of this rock [for you]? Moses focused the children on Himself instead of the rock. No one entered the promised land. God mad? Maybe because they weren't ready to handle what God wanted to do in and through them? They needed to trust God not Moses. Moses needed to POINT THEM TO THE SOURCE TO ENTER THE LAND. Responsibility

16 Identity Wisdom and direction Source for others Judges 5:2 When the princes in Israel take the lead, when the people willingly o er themselves praise the Lord. ENCOUNTER: PRAYER I need MORE OF JESUS to be the man GOD IS CALLING ME TO BE. I need to point those in my care to the Source. I want to commit to being a leader I want to commit to nding my con dence in Jesus I want to run toward things other run from I want to commit to knowing Jesus intimately I want to commit to fathering others to THE Father Judges 5:2 When the princes in Israel take the lead, when the people willingly o er themselves praise the Lord.

Will God Always Answer Prayers? Deuteronomy 3:23-29 When God says No!

Will God Always Answer Prayers? ~~ Deuteronomy 3:23-29 ~~ When God says No! Prayer creates expectation and hope. Hope soon turns into disappointment. Moses: o A great spiritual leader o A man of God o